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Eddie Munson is currently sitting next to Steve Harrington on the couch in his trailer. The sentence alone is enough to have Eddie want to burst out laughing. Steve “The Hair” Harrington sitting on his couch, close enough their shoulders are touching. Who would have fucking thought.
Now Eddie’s not an idiot. He knows he has maybe a little, tiny, massive crush on Steve. But he also knows there is no way Steve feels the same. Steve might not be the asshole he was in high school, but Eddie is still pretty positive there is no universe in which Steve doesn’t punch him in the face after learning he has feelings for him. It doesn’t matter how kind someone seems, in a town like Hawkins being queer may as well be a death sentence.
His uncle is the only one who knows, and Eddie would very much like to keep it that way. He finally has a group of friends that love and care about him and he’ll be damned if he does anything to jeopardize that.
He can feel every point of contact like it’s a brand on his skin and the feeling is intoxicating but it also kind of makes him want to throw up. Steve is just so kind and wonderful and so unlike the boy he knew in high school and Eddie doesn’t know what to do with himself.
They’re watching some movie, but Eddie honestly can not remember what it is. He knows he’s the one who put it in, but he is so overwhelmed with how good it feels to be pressed up against Steve he can’t think of anything else.
He couldn't even tell Steve what is happening in the movie right now if he asked, even though he’s almost positive he’s seen this movie a hundred times before. Steve just has that effect on him and it’s addicting in the worst possible way.
He wants Steve so badly it hurts some days. It feels like his emotions are going to just burst out of his chest when he sees the other man being sweet with the kids, or smiling at some joke Eddie made, or even when he is just standing there .
Eddie has always felt his emotions more intensely than others, but with Steve Harrington it’s something else entirely. The affection he holds for the other man feels suffocating at the worst of times and divine at the best.
He doesn’t know what to do with himself, and it feels like it’s killing him.
He doesn’t even realize he’s worked himself up into a spiral until he feels Steve’s gentle hand on his arm. He whips his head towards him, panicking even more once he realizes he’s been chewing at the skin on his fingers and he’s bleeding a little bit.
“Hey, are you okay?” Steve asks and he sounds so genuinely worried it makes him want to scream. Eddie puts on a brave face, nodding as he smiles. He hopes the smile is convincing enough, as there is no way he can tell Steve what he was just thinking about.
“Awe, you worried about me Stevie?” Eddie asks, putting on his best teasing tone. Joking around with Steve, that’s something he can do. That’s something he knows. This weird emotional vulnerability isn’t what they do.
Steve doesn’t seem to take the bait though, still looking over his face with worry. Eddie feels a little trapped under his gaze, his smile faltering as Steve’s eyes never leave him. He starts to squirm, bouncing his foot where it’s resting on the floor, refusing to make eye contact.
“Here,” Steve says suddenly, holding out one of the strings from the hoodie he’s wearing. Eddie looks down at it in confusion. What does Steve’s hoodie string have to do with literally anything happening right now? Steve seems to notice his confusion, giving him a gentle smile as he continues holding out the offered string.
“So you don’t chew at your fingers and hurt yourself,” Steve explains, as if offering up his hoodie string is the most obvious solution to this problem. Eddie stares at him dumbfounded for a solid minute, but Steve never takes back his offer. His kind smile never lets up. He just sits there and waits for Eddie to take the string.
“You’re weird, Steve Harrington,” Eddie says, and he really truly means it. Steve is so weird. Maybe that’s why he likes him so much. Steve laughs a little at his comment, and the sound is so beautiful it sounds like music to his ears. He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts, before tentatively reaching out and taking the offered string.
He looks up at Steve with an apprehensive look on his face, as if he’ll take back the offer or start laughing at him at any moment, but neither thing happens. So Eddie lets himself relax back into the couch, being forced to sit even closer to Steve now that he has his hoodie string in his grasp.
He brings it up to his mouth hesitantly, before finally deciding, fuck it, and placing it in between his teeth. He chews on the textured fabric and finds the motion immediately calming any lingering worry from before.
Steve looks down at him with a warm smile, before shifting the way he is sitting to get more comfortable. He moves the arm pressed against Eddie, bringing it up and behind him so he can rest it on the back of the couch.
The movement makes it so Eddie is pressed even further into Steve’s side, practically cuddled up together. Eddie tenses a little at the realization, expecting Steve to push him off him or call him a freak, but he doesn’t. He just sits there contentedly, as if Eddie being pressed against him is everything he could ever need.
Steve Harrington really is weird, he thinks to himself, but there's a small smile on his face.
It’s a few days later and Steve is sitting in his room with him. It’s still so surreal that he seems to actually want to be friends with him. At first he thought he just felt obligated because they saved the world together and he’s friends with the kids, but the more time passes since everything happened, the more Eddie is realizing Steve might actually just enjoy spending time together.
Eddie is working on painting his nails black, the nail polish helps in stopping him from chewing on his nails and fingers as much. Plus it looks pretty metal, which is a huge bonus. While he works, Steve is laying back on Eddie’s bed, watching his careful movements.
There’s music playing in the background that Steve, much to Eddie’s surprise, seems to be nodding his head to. It’s a Metallica album, not exactly what Eddie thought would be Steve’s taste, but he seems to be enjoying it alright.
“Didn’t know you were a fan of metal,” Eddie comments, looking over at the way Steve is lounging on his bed as if he’s done it a hundred times before. Eddie supposes that might actually not be too far off anymore, and the thought brings a familiar warmth to his stomach.
Steve’s face turns a little red and he stops moving his head, turning it to look at Eddie with a sheepish smile on his face.
“I’m not really, but you like it so much I thought I’d check it out,” Steve admits and Eddie feels a little dumbfounded at the response. Of all the thousands of things he could have responded with, that one never would have so much as crossed Eddie’s mind as a possibility.
“You, Steve Harrington, went out of your way to listen to music you don’t like, just because I like it?” Eddie asks, just to make sure he’s understanding this right. Steve’s face gets even redder and it’s so pretty but also so strange, and Eddie has no idea what to do with himself right now.
“Maybe. Shut up.” Steve says, and he sounds, shy? Flustered? Eddie can’t really tell, but whatever it is, Steve is clearly a little embarrassed by his admission. Eddie looks him over, taking in the bright red blush on his face, and the way he is laying across his bed, hands behind his head, legs stretched out and hanging off the bottom a little bit.
He looks so beautiful and Eddie feels his breathing catch, temporarily forgetting about their conversation, too distracted by the sight that is Steve Harrington. He shakes his head, pulling himself out of his slight trance, a small smile gracing his face.
He turns his gaze back to his nails, dipping the brush into the bottle before bringing it up and carefully painting it on his nail. He sees Steve moving out of his periphery, but doesn’t take his gaze away from his nails just yet, not wanting to mess anything up.
Once he finishes up his nails he looks up to see Steve is much closer now. He had gotten off the bed and came over to sit next to where Eddie is on the floor. He’s only about a foot or so away now, and Eddie swears he can feel the heat radiating off his body.
He puts the brush back in the bottle before he forgets, not wanting the nail polish to dry out just because he is distracted by his crush on Steve Harrington. Steve seems to be following the movement of his hands, almost as if in a trance, like he just can’t help himself.
Steve reaches out and grabs Eddie’s hand with his own, tenderly holding it as he brings it closer to his face. His eyes scan over the painted nails with hawk like focus, and all the breath leaves Eddie’s lungs.
“You’re really good at that,” Steve says suddenly, bringing his gaze away from his hands and up to Eddie’s face. He’s still holding his hand, but it’s lower down now, and not right in front of his face. The point of contact makes any coherent thought rush out of Eddie’s brain, leaving him a fumbling mess.
“Wh- uh, what?” He asks a little dumbly, eyes wide and disbelieving. Steve smiles at him, that soft little smile that he seems to reserve just for moments like this, and it always catches Eddie so off guard that he has no idea what to do with himself.
“Your nails. You’re really good at painting them. They’re super neat. I tried painting my nails myself once and it was a disaster.” Steve says and Eddie feels even more lost. Steve Harrington has tried to paint his nails before? And he is currently complimenting how Eddie can paint them so nicely? Surely this must be some sort of really weird dream, Eddie thinks.
“Oh, uh, thank you. I could paint yours if, uh, if you wanted.” Eddie says and immediately regrets it. Obviously Steve wouldn’t want him to paint his nails. He’s Steve Harrington. Just because he tried it once doesn’t mean he wants to try it again, especially not with Eddie Munson. However, to Eddie’s surprise Steve’s face lights up at the idea.
“You’d really do that for me?” He asks, and he sounds so hopeful and excited. Eddie just stares at him, at a loss for words. He nods his head, eyes wide with disbelief and Steve’s face breaks out into the brightest smile he thinks he’s ever seen.
“I, um, I only have black, is that okay?” Eddie asks, swallowing a little harshly. He has no idea what is happening right now, but he’ll be damned if he gives up the opportunity to paint Steve Harrington’s nails.
“Yeah! Yeah, that’s fine!” Steve says, and he sounds fucking delighted at the prospect. Eddie can’t help but let a small smile light up his face. Steve is so fucking weird, he thinks, but he’s already grabbing the bottle of nail polish again.
He grabs Steve’s right hand, holding it steady with his own as he opens the bottle. He leans closer to Steve’s nails, sticking out his tongue a little in concentration as he brings the brush up to Steve’s nail.
He is impressed by the fact he doesn’t shake in the slightest, somehow able to keep his hands steady. He finishes the right hand, placing it gently down so it’s resting on Steve’s bent knee, before grabbing his left hand.
He finishes painting the nails far too soon for his liking. If it were up to him he would be able to hold Steve’s hands like this all the time. He reluctantly lets go of his left hand after he finishes, placing it down much like he had the right.
He puts the brush back in the bottle, twisting it shut before looking up at Steve. His face is bright red and he’s looking down at Eddie with awe. Eddie’s heart speeds up at the sight, feeling a blush of his own start to spread over his cheeks.
He thinks he sees Steve’s eyes glance down at his lips, but he’s almost sure he’s imaging it. He needs to move before he does something stupid like kiss him. He leans back, giving Steve some space and he thinks he might see a flicker of disappointment on his face, but it’s gone just as quick as it appeared, so he has no idea if it was really there at all.
“All done,” he says, nodding towards Steve’s hands. Steve brings his hands up closer to his face, looking over his freshly painted nails with a smile. He looks back up at Eddie after a moment, smile still plastered on his face and it’s so beautiful Eddie wishes he had a camera so he could look back at this moment forever.
“Thank you,” Steve breathes out, and he sounds so genuinely thankful Eddie isn’t quite sure what to do other than nod along.
Steve and Eddie are at Steve’s house this time, with Robin and Nancy. His parents are out of town and Eddie’s trailer is a little cramped for all four of them. They’re all sitting around the living room laughing and smoking. Eddie feels so happy and carefree. He honestly can’t remember ever feeling this comfortable and safe around anyone other than his uncle.
He’s sitting on the couch with Steve at his side. Despite there being plenty of room for them to sit apart, Steve had chosen to plop himself down as close as possible to Eddie. Nancy is sitting on one of the chairs next to the couch while Robin sits on the floor between her legs.
It’s the middle of summer but for some godforsaken reason the Harrington’s house is freezing. It’s like they keep the thermostat permanently at zero degrees. Robin and Nancy both came prepared, having gotten used to how freezing the house is. Eddie however, did not and he is seriously regretting it.
He had worn a pair of ripped jeans, that are honestly more rip than jean, and an Iron Maiden shirt with the sleeves cut off. Safe to say, he is freezing. He hasn’t said anything, because he doesn’t want to be a bother, but he has to be honest he is starting to shiver a little.
He doesn’t think anyone has noticed until he feels Steve lean in closer to him where he’s sitting next to him. He turns his head and feels his breathing catch when he realizes how close Steve is, suddenly feeling much warmer.
“Are you cold?” Steve whispers to him, so as not to grab the attention of the girls nearby. Eddie darts his tongue out to wet his lips, his throat suddenly feeling very dry. Steve’s eyes dart down to follow the movement and Eddie feels himself nibbling on his bottom lip a little nervously.
Steve’s eyes track his movements and Eddie is feeling maybe a little too warm now. Despite the new found warmth, Eddie finds himself nodding his head. Steve seems to take a minute to process Eddie’s nod, but as soon as he does he’s nodding back.
He stands up quickly, Eddie startling back a little at the movement. He dashes out of the room and Eddie is left sitting there wondering what just happened. He stares at the spot Steve was just in, before turning his head to the girls to see if they thought that was weird too. However, Nancy and Robin are lost in their own little conversation, none the wiser to Eddie’s panic a few feet away from them.
Steve returns less than a minute later carrying what looks like a letterman jacket. Upon closer inspection Eddie is able to tell that, yup. That is definitely Steve’s letterman jacket he is holding. Steve walks back over to him, throwing him the jacket once he is only a few feet away.
Eddie catches it, albeit a little clumsily. He looks down at the shockingly soft jacket in his hands, confused as to why Steve would be giving it to him. He looks back up at Steve who had sat back down in his previous spot while Eddie was staring at the jacket.
“To warm you up,” Steve explains like it’s nothing. Like Eddie isn’t having an existential panic over why Steve Harrington is loaning him his letterman jacket. Eddie stares at him for a long moment, eyes wide in shock and confusion. Yet another experience to add to the steadily growing “Steve is weird box” in his head.
“Oh, uh, thanks,” Eddie stutters out, looking back down at the fabric in his hands. He rubs his fingers over the embroidered “Harrington” on one of the sleeves, smiling a little at it. Steve is watching him the whole time, a soft smile on his own face as he watches Eddie admire the stitching.
Eddie finally comes back to himself, shaking his head as he realizes he’s supposed to put the jacket on and not just hold it. He pulls it on, over his arms, before sinking back into the couch. It’s comfy, like really comfy. The lining is soft and warm and Eddie no longer feels like he is going to freeze to death on Steve’s couch.
Without really meaning to, he wraps his arms around himself, snuggling further into the jacket. It smells like Steve, he realizes. He’s maybe more than a little high right now, and his inhibitions are down, so he feels like he really shouldn’t be blamed for his behavior.
He tucks his chin closer to his chest, tilting his head down so he can smell the collar of the jacket. He is hit with the smell of old cigarette smoke, and the cologne Steve wears. It shouldn’t be as intoxicating as it is, but he thinks he could lose himself in the smell.
It’s almost like him being wrapped in the jacket lowers any inhibitions he had previously, the weed fully taking over his brain as he warms up. He looks next to him at Steve, a wide smile on his face as he looks at the other man. Steve looks a little caught off guard, his eyes wide and face flushed, but he also has a smile on his face so Eddie decides nothing too bad can be wrong.
Eddie leans over so he is resting his head on Steve’s shoulder, and he must be a lot higher than he thought for him to be so casually physical with Steve. It’s like he forgot he’s not supposed to do this. His high brain is telling him it’s what he wants to do, so why would he deny himself such a simple pleasure?
Steve pauses against him for a moment, seemingly unsure what to do before bringing a tentative arm up and wrapping it around Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie snuggles even further into Steve’s embrace, feeling warm and content in the other man’s arms.
A week after Steve lends him his jacket, he still has it. Steve had insisted he take it home with him, in case he got cold. It was a frankly ridiculous excuse, as outside of Steve’s frigid house, it is the middle of summer and the temperature hasn’t gotten below 75 in weeks. Still, he takes the jacket home with him, and if he sleeps with it over his pillow for the rest of the week that’s no one’s business but his own.
He is back at Steve’s house, currently setting up for a DnD session for the campaign he is currently running. They can’t use the school for meetings during the summer, and his trailer is far too small for all of them so Steve had graciously offered up his house.
Eddie immediately agreed when he offered, maybe sounding a little too eager, but if he was Steve doesn’t mention it. It’s still freezing in the Harrington’s house, but this time Eddie had come prepared. He had barely thought the decision through before grabbing Steve’s letterman jacket as he left his trailer.
Now here he sits, with Steve’s jacket pulled over his Hellfire shirt. He’s working on setting up the board as everyone arrives. He had gotten to Steve’s early to set up, and also maybe to spend a tiny bit of one on one time with the other man.
Steve hadn’t so much as blinked when he showed up in his jacket, so Eddie has honestly forgotten he’s wearing it at this point. He turns around with a bright smile on his face to greet the kids, but the smile drops when he sees the confused looks on their faces. They’re all looking him up and down, as if he’d grown a second head or something.
“What? Why are you all staring at me? Stop that.” Eddie says, voice monotone as he speaks but he can feel anxiety bubbling in his stomach. He brings his right hand up to his mouth, starting to nibble on the skin around his fingers. He hasn’t been doing it as much lately as Steve always seems to notice and hand him something else to chew on instead, but he is feeling a little overwhelmed from all the attention he is receiving right now, so he can’t help himself.
“Why are you wearing Steve’s jacket?” Dustin asks, blunt as ever. Eddie is confused for a moment before he looks down and is reminded that, yup, he is in fact wearing Steve’s jacket. He nibbles on his fingers some more as he thinks. Should he tell them? Would they think it’s weird? It’s not weird though. It’s nothing. Steve just gave him his jacket because he was cold, nothing else.
Unless it had meant something. Oh god, what if it meant something and Eddie just didn’t pick up on it? He’s always had a hard time with social cues, what if he missed something? What if it was obvious, and they are all going to make fun of him for not noticing now.
No, that’s stupid. It didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t. He and Steve are just friends . Just because he wants more doesn’t mean Steve does.
Oh God, what if the kids can tell he has feelings for him? What if they figure it out? He’s fairly certain Steve hasn’t, seeing as he has yet to get a black eye from the other man, but what if the kids are more observant? What if they can tell he’s nothing but a filthy fag who fell in love with King Steve Harrington?
He can quickly feel himself get worked up, ashamed at his reaction. Most people wouldn’t react this way, he thinks to himself. There’s no reason for him to be so upset. They just asked him a simple question. A very simple question. It’s stupid, he’s stupid.
“Hey, Eds, what’s wrong?” He hears a voice ask from beside him, a gentle hand being placed on his shoulder. He flinches away from the contact. His skin feels too tight and everything is itchy. He just wants to rip his skin off. Everything is too much.
The lights are too bright, the fabric of his pants is wrong , and since when did everyone breathe so goddamn loud? He bites harder at his fingers, tasting copper on his tongue. He doesn’t even care, the pain is helping. The pain is good.
He wants Steve.
He is a little shaken at the realization that he wants Steve right now. He hates letting other people see him like this, and he also suddenly realizes all the kids are no longer in the room. He doesn’t remember them leaving, but he finds himself grateful that they did. He doesn’t want them to see him like this right now.
“Steve?” He calls out for the other man, looking around as he continues to chew on his skin. He’s shaking and there’s tears in his eyes but he holds himself together for a moment longer. He needs to find Steve.
“I’m right here,” a gentle voice calls from beside him, and when he whips his head around at the noise he is met with the sight of Steve. He can’t help but let a few tears fall as he looks at the other man. He is so relieved to see him he doesn’t know what to do. He wants to hug Steve, to thank him for being there but he thinks if he touches him right now he’ll fall apart completely.
“Hey, do you think you can walk? I can take you upstairs, I have some stuff that might help,” Steve offers, keeping his voice just barely above a whisper. The sound is still harsh to Eddie’s ears, but it’s much easier to bear with how softly he speaks. He nods his head, not trusting his voice right now as Steve starts to lead him up the stairs.
He doesn’t touch him, keeping a small distance between them that Eddie is eternally grateful for. Normally he would love to be pressed against Steve, touching him in any way possible, but right now he doesn’t think he could handle even just their pinkies touching.
They get to the door of Steve’s bedroom, and he opens it softly, making sure the door makes as little sound as possible. He leads him in, closing the door behind them just as quietly. Eddie just stands there as Steve walks over to his closet, pulling out a large blanket. It looks like it takes some difficulty for Steve to lift, and in any other situation it would be comical.
Steve walks back over to him, directing him to sit on the floor at the foot of his bed. Eddie complies, even though he is quite confused by what is happening. Once Eddie is sitting Steve comes closer, still holding the blanket.
He leans in and drapes it across Eddie’s shoulders and he feels himself tense for a moment, expecting contact but it never comes. Steve just places the blanket over him before retreating, and, oh. That’s nice, Eddie thinks. The blanket is heavy where it sits on his shoulders, and it is the perfect amount of pressure to ground him.
He keeps chewing at his hands, and if he were more aware he’d be able to tell they’re a bloody mess right now, but all he can focus on is how much everything still feels. Steve walks over to his dresser, grabbing a Walkman and some headphones. He puts a tape in before bringing it over to Eddie.
He places the headphones over his ears, careful not to touch him as he turns on the tape. White noise fills Eddie’s ears, the sound he distantly recognizes as a box fan, but he doesn’t really care. All he knows is it blocks out all other sounds. Steve gets up again, walking over to his windows and shutting the blinds, plunging the room into darkness.
Eddie thinks it must make noise, but he can’t hear it, all he can hear is the steady hum of the fan. He is still shaking and he feels like ripping his skin off, but he feels himself calming down quickly. He buries himself deeper in the blanket, taking in deep breaths as he closes his eyes.
The lack of stimuli is helping drastically, and Eddie has no idea how he hasn’t thought to do something like this before. Usually when he got too overwhelmed, he would either lock himself in his room, blasting music loud enough it blocked out the rest of the world, or smoke so much weed he couldn’t feel anything anymore.
Both worked for him, but they weren’t quite as grounding as this. Didn’t bring him back to himself like this is. Steve comes back over, sitting next to him on the floor, careful to keep distance between them.
Eddie takes a deep breath, and his lungs are filled with the wonderful scent of Steve. It’s intoxicating and it makes his head feel a little floaty, though that might be from him hyperventilating only a moment ago.
There’s the familiar scent of cigarette smoke, and the cologne Steve wears, and it smells just like his jacket had, and it’s so good he wants to cry. It smells like home, and the realization hits him like a bus. If he weren’t so exhausted from his meltdown he thinks he would be freaking out way more at the realization Steve feels like home.
His breathing has almost completely calmed down by now, so he chances opening his eyes. The room is still dark, Steve’s curtains blocking out the light from outside, but his eyes have adjusted now, so he can see the man in front of him.
Steve is watching him carefully, as if trying to make sure he’s okay. It’s weird. This whole situation is weird.
Steve should have kicked him out, should have yelled at him and teased him for his reaction to a very simple question, but he didn’t. He just gently brought him up to his room, and somehow knew exactly what he needed. He didn’t even blink before helping him, and it’s so confusing .
It’s things like this that further reaffirm Eddie’s feelings for the man. How can he not fall in love with Steve Harrington? He’s perfect, and kind, and loving, and the most beautiful man Eddie has ever seen. He’s also kind of exactly Eddie’s type, which really doesn’t help.
Steve gives him a small smile once he realizes his eyes are open. It’s that same smile he’s seen a million times before. The one that seems to be reserved just for him. Just for their quiet moments together, and that is even more confusing. Why on earth does Steve Harrington have a private smile just for him?
He gives a shaky smile back. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but he’s hoping it’s dark enough Steve can’t look too much into it. He reaches his still slightly shaking hands up, pulling the headphones off his ears. It’s almost completely quiet once he does, and the sound of nothing feels a little suffocating.
Still, he places the headphones down in front of him, not moving them far in case he needs them again. He glances up at Steve and sees the man still looking at him. Eye contact feels like too much for him right now, so he turns his gaze down to his lap, fiddling with his still bleeding fingers.
“How did you know to do that?” Eddie asks, his voice quiet and a little rough. Steve seems to be thinking his answer over, not saying anything for a long moment. Eddie starts to think he’s not going to when he speaks.
“Robin has similar reactions to stuff sometimes. She’s told me what helps in the past so I made sure I have stuff here for her when she needs it. I figured it might help you too.” Steve explains, keeping his voice soft just like he had downstairs.
The answer catches Eddie a little off guard. He’s not super surprised Robin has meltdowns like he does. He and her have always had an easy comradery. It’s like they could both just tell they were similar, so they flocked together. What does catch Eddie off guard is how okay Steve seems to be with it.
Hell, not even just okay with it, but actively supportive. Steve had gone out of his way to get supplies for when his friend has meltdowns, even though he himself doesn’t have them. Eddie looks up from his lap, staring at the other man a little incredulously.
“What?” Steve asks, picking up on Eddie’s questioning look.
“Nothing, it’s just- That’s really thoughtful. I just didn’t expect you to think to do something like that.” Eddie answers honestly. A look of hurt flashes on Steve’s face for a moment, so fast Eddie thinks he imagined it.
“Yeah, I guess I don’t have the best reputation when it comes to comforting people,” Steve says with a bitter laugh. The noise sends a shock of dread straight to Eddie’s gut. He never wants Steve to think like that. Eddie knows this Steve isn’t the same one he knew in high school, it just still catches him off guard how different he is.
“No, no, that’s not what I mean. It’s just- The way I reacted was weird, right?” Eddie asks, though it’s mostly a rhetorical question. Steve looks at him questioningly, so he continues. “It’s not- The way I reacted isn’t how people are supposed to. I mean, I freaked out because the kids asked me a simple question. Like, maybe the most simple question in the world, but it still sent me into a spiral. Normal people don’t react like that. It’s weird. I’m weird. But you still took it in stride and helped me, even though you didn’t need to. Even though no one else would have.”
“You’re too harsh on yourself, Eds. It’s not your fault, just like it’s not Robin’s.” Steve says as if it’s the most simple thing in the world. Eddie supposes, to Steve it might be. He lets out a laugh, but it sounds a little manic even to his own ears.
“I don’t understand you Steve. In high school you were this pretentious jock who wouldn’t blink twice when someone called me a freak, but now you’re just this- You’re just so kind and I don’t understand it. I don’t understand why you’re so nice to me, or why you like spending time with me. It’s just so weird , man.”
Steve scooches a little closer to him, but stays far enough away so they’re not touching. It’s so considerate and kind, and it just makes Eddie’s head spiral even more. He doesn’t understand what he did to be worthy of Steve Harrington’s kindness. He’s Eddie Munson. A freak, a fag, very decidedly not someone he thinks should be worthy of this thoughtfulness. But for some unknown reason, Steve seems to think otherwise.
“Eddie, how could I not like spending time with you?” Steve asks as if Eddie had just said the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. “You’re funny and smart and talented and you just make everything better . I feel so much happier when I’m around you, and it honestly confuses the hell out of me, but I love spending time with you so much. You’re probably my favorite person in the world, although you can never tell Robin that because she’ll kill me. You’re just so-”
Steve pauses, waving his hands around his head as if looking for the right word. “You’re so effervescent. You’re so good with the kids, and it makes my heart clench a little whenever I see you being kind to them. They’ve all been through so much, but you seem to just have this way of making them laugh even when they’re at their worst. I honestly don’t know how you do it, but I’m so glad you do.”
Steve is breathing heavily by the end of his speech, almost as if he had been holding his breath the entire time he was speaking. Eddie feels a little out of breath himself, though he’s sure it’s for a different reason. He suddenly realizes his face feels wet, and when he brings his hand up to wipe at it, he realizes he’s crying. He doesn’t know when he started crying, though he’s sure it was somewhere during Steve’s speech.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Did I say something wrong? I’m so sorry Eds, that was probably too much,” Steve rambles, looking worriedly over at him. He runs a hand through his perfectly styled hair, messing it up a little, and Eddie wishes so bad it were his hands messing it up instead.
“No, no, you’re fine, I just- No one has ever said anything like that about me before.” Eddie says, shaking his head and smiling a little. The butterflies in his stomach feel a little like they’re trying to eat his insides, but he doesn’t really mind right now.
“Well, they should.” Steve says with finality. Eddie can’t help but let out a wet laugh, feeling a sort of relief he can’t explain, from Steve’s words. It eases something deep in his chest, he honestly hadn’t even realized needed easing.
It’s a few days later and he and Steve are sitting on the couch in his trailer. Steve is pressed to his side and he’s chewing on the string of Steve’s hoodie again. It’s such a common occurrence at this point, he doesn’t even find it odd.
His fingers are still healing from the other day, bandages coating them so he doesn’t break the skin again. Steve had insisted on patching him up, and he was hopeless but to let him. They’re watching a movie together, and Eddie is actually able to pay attention this time, having gotten used to the warm feel of Steve pressed against him. That is, until Steve decides to speak.
“I’m bisexual.” Steve blurts out, as if he has been trying to work up the courage to say it for a while now. Eddie pauses, the strong falling from his mouth as he sits up to look at the other man. Steve is fiddling with his hands as they rest in his lap, an anxious furrow to his brows.
“I- what?” Eddie chokes out, honestly having no idea what else to say. Steve. The Steve Harrington is bisexual? It simply is not computing in his brain. Steve glances up at him, taking in the shocked and confused look on his face.
“Yeah, you know it means like, you like both men and women, or whatever,” Steve explains nervously, wiping his sweaty hand on his jeans.
“No, yeah, I know what being bisexual means, Steve.” Eddie replies, and he feels so out of his depth right now, he has no idea what to do.
“Okay,” Steve whispers, looking back down at his hands. His whole body is tense and he’s leaning away from Eddie for the first time in weeks, as if he’s scared to touch him. “I just, Robin said I should tell you. I can go if you want. Or you can punch me in the face. It wouldn’t be the first time.” Steve says with a bitter laugh.
Eddie is so confused. He has no idea what’s happening.
“Punch- What the hell are you talking about Steve? Why would I punch you ?” Eddie asks. Steve looks up at him, staring at him like he’s an idiot. Which, rude. Eddie thinks he is entitled to some confusion right now.
“Jesus Eds, why wouldn’t you?” Steve asks with a bitter laugh that makes Eddie's stomach curl. “I’ve been cuddled up on the couch with you for over an hour now, because I’m too weak to stop myself. And now I’ve just told you I’m a fag . I figured you probably put two and two together.”
Eddie’s entire brain has gone blank. What the actual fuck is Steve talking about? Put two and two together? What is there to put together? Just because Steve is physical with him and likes men doesn’t mean anything. They’re still just friends. There is no way Steve feels that way about him. No matter his sexuality.
He must take too long to say anything, because Steve is letting out another bitter laugh, moving to stand up and head for the door. Before he can get up, Eddie is grabbing his wrist and pulling him back down to the couch. Steve gives him a strange look, tensing up even more, face scrunching up as if he’s waiting to be punched. The sight breaks Eddie’s heart.
“Look, man, if you’re gonna punch me can you please just get it over with?”
“I’m not- Steve I’m not gonna punch you.”
Steve looks at him with so much confusion, that Eddie feels his heart break even more. Does Steve really think so little of him, that he thinks he would be upset about this? He shakes the question off, knowing that’s not the case. Eddie would be thinking the same thing if he were in Steve’s shoes. It doesn’t matter how much you trust someone, coming out to anyone in Hawkins is the scariest thing Eddie thinks someone could ever do.
“I’m- Jesus Stevie, it would be pretty fucking hypocritical of me to punch you for this,” Eddie says, dragging his fingers through his hair. Steve looks at him with furrowed brows for a moment before they seem to raise to his hairline in realization.
“You’re-?” Steve asks, waving his hand in front of him in lieu of explanation.
“A fag? Yeah Stevie, I am.” Eddie says with a laugh. Despite his harsh wording of his statement the laugh is happy and tinged with relief. He still has that lingering fear that Steve will hate him for it, but he pushes it down as far as it will go, and he finds it’s much easier to push down than it used to be.
“Oh, okay,” Steve says with a relieved laugh of his own. Suddenly Eddie remembers the second half of Steve’s confession. He thinks he knows what he was hinting at but he needs to hear it. He can’t take the chance that he’s wrong about this.
“What did you mean, put two and two together?” Eddie asks, his expression serious all of a sudden. Steve’s face goes a little pale as the smile instantly drops from his face. Eddie’s stomach fills with dread at the sight, but he pushes it aside. He needs to know for sure.
“Eddie. Don’t make me say it,” Steve pleads, and his voice is so small and scared it kind of makes him want to vomit.
“Please, Steve. I need to know I’m not wrong about this, just- please.” Eddie begs, and he thinks he probably sounds desperate, but he doesn’t care. Not when he still doesn’t know. Steve takes a deep breath, refusing to make eye contact with him. He thinks he sees tears in his eyes, but he doesn’t comment on it, letting Steve take his time.
“I- fuck. I’m in love with you, Eddie.” Steve says, and his voice is filled with so much pain it makes him want to scream. He realizes Steve’s tears have begun to silently fall down his face, so he reaches forward and holds onto his cheek, brushing the tears away with his thumb.
Steve looks up at him, his eyes searching his face. His expression is filled with a kind of terror Eddie had only seen on his face when they were in the Upside Down, and to think that look is there because of him hurts more than anything else ever has. But there is also hope, buried deep down underneath it all, and Eddie will be damned if he doesn’t do something about it.
He rushes forward, capturing Steve’s mouth with his own. The kiss is messy and desperate but it’s the best kiss either of them have ever had. It takes Steve a moment to respond but once he does he is kissing back just as eagerly.
They both try to pour every ounce of love and affection they feel for the other into the kiss, and it is so intense Eddie thinks he might be shaking a little. He doesn’t care. The world could be ending around them and he wouldn’t care as long as Steve’s lips stay pressed to his.
They eventually have to break apart, both of them gasping for air. They rest their foreheads together, not ready to pull apart just yet. Eddie lets out a breathless laugh, the reality of the situation catching up to him. Steve looks at him confusedly, but there is an affectionate smile on his face, so Eddie knows he’s okay.
“Shit, you’re a really good kisser,” Eddie says, still laughing. Steve chuckles along with him, and Eddie thinks his chest is going to burst from the affection he feels for him. He cuts off his laugh with his lips, swallowing the sound. Steve kisses him back, bringing his hands up to Eddie’s waist, holding on tight.
The hand Eddie doesn’t have on Steve’s cheek moves up to his hair, combing through his perfect locks. It’s exactly as soft as it looks, and Eddie sighs contentedly into the kiss at the feeling. The two of them stay like that for a long while, their desperate kisses turning lazy.
At some point Eddie had been laid back on the couch with Steve crawling over him, but neither of them are really sure when it happened, both too caught up in the feeling of their mouths pressed together.
Eddie thinks he could stay like this forever. Steve Harrington laying on top of him, as they make out on his couch. It’s so ridiculous he can’t help but laugh into the kiss, Steve having to pull away from how much Eddie is smiling.
“What?” Steve asks, looking down at him confused. Eddie thinks there may be a little panic in his voice, so he strokes both his hands through Steve’s hair, rushing to quell and fear he may be feeling.
“I can not believe I’m making out with Steve Harrington right now. All the girls are going to be so jealous,” he teases, giving Steve a smile so bright he thinks he might blind him. Steve smiles back, and Eddie’s stomach does somersaults at the sight.
“You’re a dork, Eddie Munson,” Steve laughs, and Eddie’s face is on fire from the sound. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to hearing Steve laugh.
“I love you,” Eddie breathes out, cupping Steve’s face with his left hand. He thinks his rings must be cold against Steve’s skin, but the other man just leans into it. His wide grin softens into a smaller one, but it’s no less bright. There it is, Eddie thinks. That little smile he loves so much.
It all makes a lot more sense now, he thinks. He still has no idea why Steve would choose him of all people to love, but he is so fucking grateful he has.
“I love you too,” Steve says, and there is something akin to reverence in his voice when he says it. Eddie swears his heart stops beating as Steve leans down and kisses him again. God, Steve is weird, he thinks, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.