Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[Sausage Mythical created a group chat]

[Sausage Mythical changed their name]

[Sausage Mythical changed the name of the group chat]

[Head of the Holy Hunt! added 9 people to The Cryptid Hunters]

Joel Smallbeans: huh?

Joel Smallbeans: Sausage, what is this?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: Well!

Head of the Holy Hunt!: we are all aware of the extremely mysterious nature of some of our fellow members of this fine establishment!

Head of the Holy Hunt!: and we have all expressed intrigue in these curious fellows, so I thought we should band together, in order to learn more!

Gemini Tay: so basically. some of our classmates are weird, and you want to do some snooping?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: yep!

Joel Smallbeans: okay, well first off.

[Joel Smallbeans changed 8 members names]

Hot Stuff: if we’re gonna have a group chat, we’re doing this right.

Turning Gay: this is acceptable.

Not Human: can you explain mine?

The ORBBB: it’s probably mostly cause Most of us keep forgetting that Villagers and Humans are different species.

Not Human: oh! Okay, I guess…

Hot Stuff: Sprry Gem

The ORBBB: also joel. I would like to thank you for naming me after such a key part of my religion, it is appreciated

Hot Stuff: I can never tell when you’re being sarcastic,,,

The ORBBB: m not In this cse

Hooman: mine is basic.

Hot Stuff: u’re basic.

Hooman: rude.

Fungi fun guy: what’s going on?

Fungi fun guy: you think I’m fun Joel?

Joel: ehhh…

Big Furry: really Joel?

Hot Stuff: I’m right and u know it

Big Furry: …

The ORBBB: I mean, he is correct cpk.

Big Furry: I hate this

Head of the Holy Hunt: I feel like we’ve gotten off target!

Hot Stuff: what was this chat for again?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: gathering information on our more mysterious classmates!

Hot Stuff: like the L.D person?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: who taht?

Hot Stuff: no clue.

The ORBBB: I’m in the same class as joel, whenever our history teacher remembers to do roll call they call on someone called L.D. Their always their but we never see themm

Big Furry: the teach is scared of them i know that

Head of the Holy Hunt!: well, I had never heard of this personn but I shall add them to the list

Fungi fun guy: wait, who is on the list already.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: 1! Shadow person?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: theres an actual shadow in my art class. she doenst talk, shows up late, leaves early. i just know she’s a she cause she corrected someone once

Flower Queen: hello, what’s going on?

Flower Queen: oh I like my name, who did that?

Hot Stuff: I am indeed a genius, you’re welcome Katherine

Head of the Holy Hunt: 2! Lauren!

The ORBBB: What wrong with Lauren?

Fungi fun guy: she is pretty sus.

Hooman: is that it?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: 3! im pretty sure theres a vampire spying on us!

Hooman: not this again..

Head of the Holy Hunt: Fwhip I’m serious!

Not Human: yove been obsessing about a vampire spying on people since we were 5.

The Last Dragon: what is going on?

The Last Dragon: why is Fwhip pouting and grumbling bout being basic ?

Hot Stuff: cause he is.

Not Human: Sausage made this chat to spy on some people at school

The Last Dragon: oh why?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: okay, it’s cause I overheard someone suspicious (Lauren) talking to herself in empty hallway about something called “league of villains”

Head of the Holy Hunt!: something about recruiting an enigma.

The league of villains

Gay and powerful: I DID IT!

[Gay and Powerful has added L.D Shadow-Lady to the League of Villains]

Gay and Powerful: BOW DOWN BITCHES.

Gay and powerful: I GOT HER!

Gay and powerful: btw, the enigma is a her

L.D Shadow-Lady: hello all. I was ambushed by this weird vampire dude and he wouldn’t stop yammering at me till I agreed to join this group chat.

Shadow girl: okay, well, one of us is gonna have to get changed. I’m the shadow girl here.

L.D Shadow-Lady: this is my legal name.

Shadow girl: wait what

L.D Shadow-Lady: my name is Lizzie Danger Shadow-Lady.

Shadow girl: okay that’s actually awesome.

Quite Vexing: WAIT YOU GOT THE ENIGMA?

Quite Vexing: I WANTED TO GET THE ENIGMA

Gay and Powerful: L.

Shadow girl: fight fight fight

Gay and Powerful: okay peasants, calm calm. Introductions are in order!

Quite Vexing: you started it.

Gay and Powerful: my name is Scott DangLong Smajor. He/Him, Vampire, gay.

Gay and Powerful: Shubble, u next

Shadow girl: oh, okay!

Shadow girl: Hello! I’m Shubble! I’m a shadow walker, she/her, and asexual!

Quite Vexing: my turn!

Quite Vexing: I’m Lauren Z Side! I’m a Vex! She/her! I’m the token straight

L.D Shadow-Lady: are you the small person who’s been following me around? Or thinking they’re following me around?

Quite Vexing: you knew?

L.D Shadow-Lady: I noticed and started following you instead.

Quite Vexing: oh.

[L.D Shadow-Lady changed their name]

The Enigma: well.

The Enigma: I’m Lizzie Danger Shadow-Lady. She/her, bisexual.

The Enigma: and I’m an Enigma.

Quite Vexing: damn I really am the token straight.

Quite Vexing: but imma be honest, I did not realize you were a she.

The Enigma: enigmas don’t believe in assigning gender at birth. parents aren’t really around anytime after birth anyways, so gender is something we choose. I decided to be female a few years ago. I was not actually born a female, but I am female.

The Enigma: I was not born a male either actually. I’m unsure what I was when I was born. My body has changed a lot since then.

Gay and Powerful: I liked the “not assigning gender at birth” part.

Gay and Powerful: hated the “parents aren’t around after birth” part.

Shadow girl: I haven’t heard of enigmas before..

The Enigma: frankly I might be the last one. we aren’t exactly social creatures.

The Enigma: we are by instinct hated by any creature we come across so socializing is dangerous. I wear a blindfold for a reason.

Shadow Girl: what reason?

The Enigma; staring contests with me are deadly. im only attending school cause i was not given any choice.

Gay and Powerful: mood. I don’t even go to class, I just blackmail the teachers into marking me prsent all the time, and let me do the tests in the library.

Shadow girl: most people don’t actually know I’m around. I can only attend a few classes and I’m always in my shadow form.

Quite Vexing: I’m-.. im actually mostly okay, but people don’t like me cause I always have the instinct to attack people.

Gay and Powerful: we needed a normalish person to balance us out. And she is quite good at pranks.

Shadow girl: Mhm.

The Enigma: so what does this league of villains do exactly?

Gay and Powerful: mischief.

The Enigma: where do I sign away my soul?

Quite Vexing: oh I like her.

Chapter Text

The cryptid hunters

Hot Stuff: I hate everything.

Head of the Holy Hunt: what happened?

Hot stuff: everyone at this school sucks.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: what hapened???

Flower Queen: Joel, are you okay?

The last dragon: someone keeps putting buckets with water around, and they always splash right in front of joel

Flower queen: oh no! Are you hurt joel?

Hot Stuff: no, I haven’t gotten hit at all, but still… it’s pissing me off..

Hot Stuff: the worst part is! I have no idea who’s doing it!

Head of the Holy Hunt!: sounds like the work of the league of villains!

Hooman: we know like nothing about this league of villains.

Head of the Holy hunt!: we know enough!

Not human: we do not.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: okay, but we must learn more!

The ORBBB: he is actually correct! They are a threat!

Turning Gay: oh calm down, they’re just trolling Joel

Hot Stuff: whatever, you do what you ahahhznass

Fungi fun guy: joel?

Big Furry: .. is he dead? Jimmy?

The last dragon: I dony know! I’m not with him anymore! He stomped off annoyed!

The ORBBB: quick! We must send out search parties!

Not human: that’s actually a good idea, Joel’s offline.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: Jimmy, which way did he go?

The last dragon: we were on the second floor, and he stomped off towards his usual burning spot, you know the abandoned classroom?

Big Furry: I can’t help if it’s the second floor, there’s no accommodations for giants

Flower queen: I’m on the third, I’ll be right down to help Jimmy

Head of the Holy hunt!: wsd in 6th.omw

Turning Gay: I guess il help, On the first

The League of Villains

The Enigma: ok, he’s not dead, just sorta out of it? The water didn’t hit his head.

Quite Vexing: you really dropped a bucket on him and didn’t hit his head?

The Enigma: I have many talents

Quite Vexing: you sure do!

Gay and Powerful: okay, according to these books, blazeborns sometimes enter a fight or flight mode if hit by water, so be careful he could attack yiu at any moment. Or run till he finds somewhere safe

Shadow girl: if you need backup, I can throw Lauren down to the second pretty quickly

Quite Vexing: YES YEET ME DOWN

The Enigma: I don’t think that’ll be needed.. he’s just kinda staring at me.

The Enigma: which is unsettling given the fact I shouldn’t be visible

The Enigma: also, im not on the second anymore

Gay and Powerful: where are you then?

The Enigma: I have a base of operations in the basement

Quite Vexing: Theres a basment?

The Enigma: ye

The Enigma: ok he can definitely see me, thats creepy

Gay and Powerful: how did you get into this room? It’s locked

The Enigma: u in the basement?

Gay and Powerful: trying to be.

The Enigma: how’d you get down here without anyone seeing you? And so fast? aint the library on the 5th fooor?

Gay and Powerful: moth form. just had to steal a few pages from books.

The Enigma: I thought vampires turned into bats?

Shadow girl: oh here we go

Gay and Powerful: that is a gross generalization. Vampire are shapeshifters, and many of us can turn into many animals, including wolves. Only basic, cheap, impure vampires can only turn into something as easy as a bat. since I’m from a long line of vampires, im capable of turning into a few different things, but a Luna moth is my favorite transformation.

Gay and Powerful: My brother is so powerful he can stay in animal Form for months.

The Enigma: aren’t vampires by nature impure?

Gay and Powerful: impure by most’s standards.i meant vampiresimpure by our standards

Quite Vexing: makes sense.

Gay and Powerful: Anygays.

Gay and Powerful: LET ME IIINNNNN

The Enigma: the keys in the lock, its just invisible

The Enigma: turn it clockwise

Gay and Powerful: oh that’s cool

The Enigma: ye, wish I knew who made the key

Shadow girl: you both went quiet for a while, is the blazeborn okay?

Gay and Powerful: he’s finneeeee

The Enigma: he’s doing pretty hot even.

The Enigma: but seriously, he’s just staring at me. It’s weird.

The Enigma: his eyes are pretty tho

Gay and Powerful: well books are useless, I can’t find why hes acting like this

The Enigma: I think we should let him go now… I dont want people looking for him and finding this place.

Shadow girl: that’s a golden idea

Shadow girl: good. Not golden. Autocorrect

Quite Vexing: I can bring him to the nurse office.

The Enigma: ok. Imma have to carry him to the first at least

Gay and Powerful: well, Lizzie is buff, she just picked him up with one arm

Gay and Powerful sent a picture

Gay and Powerful: oh what?

Quite Vexing: is he just floating?

Shadow girl: Lizzie, do you not show up in pictures

The Enigma: if i focus, i can, but its too tiring most of the time

The Enigma: Lauren, you know the empty hallway on the first? Im there

Quite Vexing: yup, nearly there.

The Cryptid Hunters

Turning Gay: I think I found him?

The last dragon: WHERE IS HE, IS HE OKSY?

Turning Gay: yeah hes in the nurse’s office

Head of the Holy Hunt!: howd he get their?

Turning Gay: no clue. Nurse doesn’t know either says he just showed up.

Turning Gay: hes not injured, just in shock. nurse says he got splashed by a bit of water

Big Furry: d’ya think the league did this intentionally?

Hooman: we’re all buying into this league of villains thing now?

Not Human: joel got hurt by their hands, it makes sense

The ORBBB: they used water agaisng him! How dastardly!

The ORBBB: oh he’s online!

Hot Stuff: I think I’m in love.

Chapter Text

The Cryptid Hunters

Head of the Holy Hunt!: Joel is insane.

Hot Stuff: I’m not, I’m just in love

Hooman: you’ve been rambling about this mystery person for 2 weeks now, and still, all I know is still just “they’re strong”

Turning Gay: what do you actually know about this person?

Hot Stuff: they can pick me up with one arm.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: they are part of the league of villains!

Hot Stuff: they weren’t bad.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: they hurt you!

Hot Stuff: by accident, I think.

Hot Stuff: sides, they’ve done other stuff since.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: yes! Dastardly things!

The ORBB: the prank on Katherine wasn’t that bad..

Not Human: they stole all her flowers and replaced them

Flower Queen: I was worried about my flowers at first, but now I’m more impressed by how they got end flowers.

Flower Queen: also, they did return my flowers.

Flower Queen: and Oli’s been taking care of the flowers they used.

The ORBBB: it’s been nice having something from home.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: they burned all the posters I made!

Blazeborn: okay that one wd fully justified, its kinda rude to make posters outright calling them evil

Head of the Holy Hunt!: need I remind you I was not the one who came up with the name?

The last dragon: someone dropped a flower on me.

The ORBBB: wait, so did Joel see a part of the league of villains?! Joel, what did they look like?

Hot Stuff: well, actually, I didn’t really see them.

The ORBBB: well now I’m puzzled

Hot Stuff: not with my eyes really

Giant Furry: Joel, please explain in normal words

Hot Stuff: okay, so. When I get hit with water, I go into a hyper focused but detached mode. Basically my instincts take over. And when they did, I could, sorta, see them?

Hot Stuff: but they were Imvisble. but still. I saw them

Hot Stuff: and I saw the most beautiful person ever.

Hot Stuff: they had long pink hair, and ware wearing a blindfold

Hot Stuff: and then they picked me up, mumbling apologies, and carried me somehwere.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: but where!?

Hot Stuff: I don’t remember.

Hot Stuff: anyways.

Hot Stuff: they kept me there for a while, someone else showed up, and then they brought me back upstairs, and then I was in the nurse’s office.

The last dragon: another flower.

The last dragon: They were both red.

The last dragon: This one had a little pack of heart Candies attached to it.

Fungi fun guy: wait, so Joel saw two members of the League, and barely even remembers one of them?

Hot Stuff: look, I was in a state of panic. I just know I met the love of my life.

Flower Queen: while I think that sounds very sweet Joel, you should try to learn more about this mystery person!

Hot Stuff: oh I will.

The ORBBB: that sounded pretty creepy

Hot Stuff: most of what you say sounds creepy Oli

The ORBBB: that is very very true. But still

Giant Furry: I was gonna stand up for you Oli, but apparently you dont want that-

The ORBBB: I always want whatever you have.

Hot Stuff: proving my point.

Hooman: I feel like we’ve all missed something.

Not Human: so we’re all brushing past the fact that Jimmy has a secret admirer?

The last dragon: the flowers are pretty.

The league of Villains

Quite Vexing: Scott

Quite Vexing: Scott.

Quite Vexing: Scott

Gay and Powerful: leave me alone

The Enigma: what happened?

Shadow girl: oh right, you haven’t seen this happen much yet

Quite Vexing: Scott.

Quite Vexing: how many flowers did you give him this time Scott.

The Enigma: oh I’m invested now.

Gay and Powerful: LEAVE ME ALONE-

Quite Vexing: DID HE NOTICE YOU SCOTT

Gay and Powerful: NO OKAY HE DID NOT

Quite Vexing: DID YOU TRY TO ACTUALLY TALK TO HIM SCOTT

Gay and Powerful: LEAVE ME ALONE

The Enigma: intriguing interaction over?

Shadow girl: should be

The Enigma: explanation?

Shadow girl: you ever seen the half dragon, Jimmy?

The Enigma: yea, why?

Shadow girl: Scott has a crush on him.

The Enigma: oooh

Shadow girl: he gives him flowers every once and awhile, in moth form. By dropping them on his head.

The Enigma: how romantic.

Quite Vexing: Jimmy has never noticed the moth giving him flowers before

The Enigma: not even the flowers?

Shadow girl: nope.

The Enigma: Tahts funny, cauuuuusee

The Enigma sent a picture

The Enigma: he seems very happy with flowers he didnt sipposedly notice

Gay and Powerful: ASHJNAAUJLA

Gay and Powerful: HE SAW THE FLOWERS?

Gay and Powerful: DID. IS THAT ALL HE SAW?

The Enigma: he’s also eating heart shaped candies

Quite Vexing: YOU GOT HIM CANDY? AWW, IM SO PROUD OF YOUUU

Gay and Powerful: SHUT UP

Gay and Powerful: I’m going home..

Shadow girl: say hi to Xonorth to me.

Gay and Powerful: yeah, sure.

Quite Vexing: hey, Lizzie, where do you live? So we can show up and hang out sometimes ?

The Enigma: oh I’m homeless.

Quite Vexing: wait what

Brothers without blood

Scott: I’m bring home a friend.

Xornoth: is it a guy?

Scott: no, it’s a sister.

Xornoth: fine. The house is too quiet anyway

The League of Villains

Gay and Powerful: not anymore you’re not.

Chapter Text

The Cryptid Hunters

Hot Stuff: heart’s been broke so many times…

Turning Gay: oh goodie, what now?

Hot Stuff: I don’t know how to get their number..

Head of the Holy Hunt!: Joel, you need an intervention.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: they are a villain! Who tried to harm you!

Hot Stuff: naaaaah..

Not Human: I feel like we should be more concerned with the fact that Jimmy has a secret admirer.

The last dragon: I like the candies they gave me.

Hooman: oh yea.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: that isnt the point of this gc

Hooman: well we’re talking about one disaster, let’s look at something brighter

Hooman: lets switch gears from jpls’ loove lige

Hooman: halp mklpi

Hooman: aadwjxjsjaiw

The last dragon: I feel like I should be more concerned, but he may have just had an intense zone out.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: was it the league?

Hooman: np

Hooman: Twas joel. He is hunting me for sport as I type this.

Hooman: he is bitter that he hasn’t got a stable love interest

Hot Stuff: coward.

Fungi fun guy: what happened?

Hot Stuff: he’s sitting in the rain now.

Hot Stuff: I will be back, with my umbrella

Hooman: he runs fast, I should hide better,

Hot Stuff: oh shit

The ORBBB: oh he’s gone..

Flower Queen: is Joel just always gonna disappear after making it sound likes he’s in trouble?

Flower Queen: oh he’s back

Fungi fun guy: what happened? Agaon?

Hot Stuff: Gem, have I ever mentioned how cool you are?

Not Human: did you get caught running by a hall golem?

Hot Stuff: if I said yes would you be inclined to use your villager persuasion to help me out of detention

Not Human: nope.

Hot Stuff: I need new friends.

Big Furry: uh oh-

Hot Stuff:… uh oh

The ORBBB: HOW DARREEEE YOU SMALLBEANS! SMALL BEANS FOR A SMALL MAN! HOW DARE YOU, YOU DISRESPECT OUR FRIIIIEENDSHIP? AFTER ALL WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH AS A COMMUNITY? SHAME ON THEE BEANS OF SMALL. SHAMMMEEE. CRAZED ONES! SHAME HIM

Hot Stuff: don’t you dare..

Big Furry: sorry. Shame.

Turning Gay: not sorry. Shame!

Hot Stuff: I was kidding guys.

Hot stuff: :<

The ORBBB: USE TONE INDICATORS SHAMED SMALL OF BEANS

Fungi fun guy: I still want to know why you guys call yourself the crazed ones

Turning Gay: Lauren is actually part of the Crazed one’s group. Or user to be. She!s been really distant these last few years,

Big Furry: blame Oli, he got us this nickname

The ORBBB: I think it’s fun!

Hot Stuff: the amount of things you find fun is concerning

Head of the Holy Hunt!: did you get out of detention Joel?

Hot Stuff: yeaaah.. barely. Got off with a warning. I just want my umbrella man

Hot Stuff: ahshagab

Not Human: JOEL, STOP RANDOMLY DYIN PLEASE

Hot Stuff: I’m not, I just dropped my phone.

Hooman: seriously, can we talk about Jimmy’s love life now?

The League of Villains

The Enigma: alright, I did it.

Quite Vexing: did what?

Gay and Powerful: ???

Shadow girl: YOU DID? YAY!

The Enigma: Shubble Dared me to give the blazeborn my number

Quite Vexing: OWO WHATS THIS

Gay and Powerful: LAUREN NO-

The Enigma: rip Lauren, killed by OWO

Shadow girl: SHE WAS SO YOUNG

Quite Vexing: I think Scott is more likely to kill me rn tbh

The Enigma: what did you do?

Quite Vexing: why do you assume I did something?

Quite Vexing: I mean, I did, but why?

Shadow girl: cause Scott is usually pretty level headed. Except when it comes to that dragon.

Gay and Powerful: do you want to be added to my hit list?

The Enigma: oh making a hit list sounds like a good idea

The Enigma: who’s on yours?

Gay and Powerful: Lauren, /affectionately

Quite Vexing: awww, I love you tooooo

Gay and Powerful: gross, I’m gay

Gay and Powerful: but I do love you platonically

Quite Vexing: SCREENSHOTTED

The Enigma: who else?

Gay and Powerful: oh that elytrian, you know, the one who pretends to be an angel?

The Enigma: the one wo made flyers about us?

Gay and Powerful: yea. Him

The Enigma: I take it we’re plotting something agaisng him nxt?

Gay and Powerful: I may have done most of the plotting

Shadow girl: where do we start?

Shadow girl: wait, actually, what did Lauren do?

Gay and Powerful: SHE TRIED TO PUSH ME INTO A HALLWAY

Gay and Powerful: WITH PEOPLE IN IT.

Shadow girl: LAUREN!

Quite Vexing: I WASJT ACTUWLLY GONNA! I JUST TRIPED AND PUT TOO MUCH FORCE INTO JY PUSH

The Enigma: AAHAHDGAAG

The Enigma: HE TEXTED ME

Shadow girl: GET IT GIRL!

Quite Vexing: I can’t believe Lizzie already has a better love life than you Scott

Gay and Powerful: fuck you.

Quite Vexing: no, u’re gay

Private Chat

Joel Smallbeans: hi! This is the “Funny blazeborn”! You left your number in my locker?

L.D Shadow-Lady: oh you’re fast. I wasn’t expecting a text this fast

Joel Smallbeans: WAIT-

Joel Smallbeans: YOU’RE L.D?

Chapter Text

The Cryptid Hunters

The ORBBB: joel of beans shamed small has been acting weird.

Turning Gay: Y3ah, he reely has… like super happy?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: hes defiantly acting weird..

Head of the Holy Hunt!: defiant

Head of the Holy Hunt: defining

Head of the Holy Hunt!: definitely.

Not Human: why is our leader so bad at typing?

Big Furry: he’s not our leader

The last dragon: how do I find out who left me flowers?

The last dragon: Katherine?

Flower Queen: I’m sorry, I can’t really help with taht.

Hooman: how did they give you flowers?

The last dragon: they were dropped on my head

Hooman: so maybe someone with teleporting powers?

Big Furry: or speed?

Hot Stuff: or invisibility

The ORBBB: ohhhh! The shamed beans shows himself!

Hot Stuff: Shhhh Oli.

Hot Stuff: listen, if you drop this rn.

Hot Stuff: tell you stuff in the crazed one groupchat.

The ORBBB: you are forgiven!

Big Furry: oh thank god.

Big Furry: lunch was getting unbearable.

Turning Gay: yeah, I’ve never seen Oli stay mad at any of us for more than 2 days. And it’s been 4. I was getting siriouslu woried

Hot Stuff: anyways!

Hot Stuff: maybe Jimmy has a phantom admirer.

Turning Gay: orrrrrr it’s the same person that you’re simping for

Turning Gay: we know they can go invisnible

Hot Stuff: nah, she wouldn’t

Turning Gay: are you surreeeee?

The ORBBB: wait.

Big Furry: ??

The ORBBB: …

The ORBBB: WHAT IF THERE MANY INVISIBLE PEOPLE?

Flower queen: oh my! That’s actually a real possibility.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: AND THEY’RE ALL WITH THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS

Head of the Holy Hunt!: AND THEY’RE ALL EVIJJKKAJAJJJS

Hot Stuff: for once it’s not me who dies!

Hot Stuff: ….

Hot Stuff: sausage?

The CRAAZZZEED ones.

Panda revolutionist: SO!

adventure time nerd: oh no.

adventure time nerd: I’m already worried about sausage, pls don’t freak me out now

Panda Revolutionist: when you were talking about your crush, you said something that caught my attention

adventure time nerd: oh god

Disney first gay prince: whats happening

Big Furry: idk, it’s Oli, roll with it

Panda Revolutionist: and that was…

Panda revolutionist: she?

adventure time nerd: shit

Disney first gay prince: HOLY SHIT.

Rocket crush: WAIT

adventure time nerd: ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS NOW?

Disney first gay prince: YOU MET YOUR CRUSH?

Rocket crush: DUDEEE? YOU DIDNT TELL US ANYTGUNG

adventure time nerd: I WAS GONNA!

adventure time nerd: BUT FINE, GUESS WE’RE DOINBG YHIS NOW

adventure time nerd: it’s L.D. And yeah, she gave me her number.

adventure time nerd: and we’ve been texting.

adventure time nerd: a lot.

adventure time nerd: so yeah, that’s why I’ve been happier, and kinda distracted lately.

adventure time nerd: she’s shy around people, and i really didn’t want to push her out of her comfort zone, so i didn’t mention it to the group. but I was honna tell you guys…

Rocket crush: YOOOOOOOOO

Panda revolutionist: WE ARE PROUF OF YOU FLR MOVING UP IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. FINALLY ANOTHER MAKES PROGRESS

Disney first gay prince: I repeat my question CPK. Are you and Oli a thing or not?

Rocket Crush: in all honestly, I know as much as you.

Panda revolutionist: gotta keep you on your toes!

Rocket Crush: I might be your boyfriend, can you please give me a break?

Panda Revolutionist: no.

Panda Revolutionist: Back on track! Joel!

Panda Revolutionist: I’m..

Panda Revolutionist: listen, I know I’m goofy as hell. And it’s hard to understand me sometimes. So

Panda Revolutionist: so, I’m dialing back my charades here for a bit, okay? Jsut so it’s clearer for you guys

adventure time nerd: oh shoot

Rocket Crush: you don’t need to change yourself for us Oli

Panda Revolutionist: I know, but Im choosing to, in this case.

Panda Revolutionist: I’m glad you’ve found someone who makes you as happy as this L.D clearly does, even if you aren’t in a romantic relationship yet. You’ve been my friend a long time, and I would probably be in a very dark place if it weren’t for you, so I’m happy you are receiving the kind of joy you deserve.

adventure time nerd: oh.

adventure time nerd: I.. okay I wasnt fully expecting that

adventure time nerd: sorry for doubting you… and..

adventure time nerd: thanks oli…. it really means a loy.

Panda Revolutionist: even if you are a simp.

adventure time nerd: and moment’s over.

Disney first gay prince: Aww, I love you guys /p.

Rocket crush: love you too Joey /p

adventure time nerd: yeah yeah.. love you all too /p

Panda Revolutionist: I love all of you as well!

The Cryptid Hunters

Not Human: WHERE IS EVERYONE?

Hooman: SPEAK TO US, PLEASE!?

Fungi fun guy: GUYS? WHY IS EVEYRONE QUIET

Flower queen: joel! CPK? Joey!

Flower Queen: OLLIIIII

The last dragon: is everyone dead?

Hot Stuff: wut.

Not Human: OH THANK EMERALDS

Big Furry: the fact that Gem swears on emeralds, aka money, will always be funny to me.

Big Furry: “OH MY CASH MONEY”

Not Human: don’t make fun of me.

Hooman: yeah! But anyways!

Hooman: WHWRE DID YOU GUYS GO?

Turning Gay: we had to have a chat.

Turning Gay: Anygays! Did we find sausage?

Fungi fun guy: NO! WE HAVE NO CLUE WHERE HE IS!

The last dragon: I’m looking for him now!

The ORBBB: I shall also set out to search for him!

Turning Gay: guess I’ll help too

The League of Villains

Gay and Powerful: aaaaannnd done

The Enigma: send pic, send pic, send pic

Gay and Powerful has sent a picture.

Quite Vexing: HA! NICE!

The Enigma: Aww, I wanted to draw on his face too.

The Enigma: but nice. How many sausage puns did you write on him

Gay and Powerful: too many. Thanks for all of them btw.

Shadow girl: is that real blood, or red paint? On his wings?

Gay and Powerful: paint, obviously. Heavier and stickier will mess with his fliggt more. And I wouldn waste blood on him

The Enigma: you didn’t traumatize him too bad, did you?

Gay and Powerful: oh please. I just poured a bucket of red paint on him. He’s the one who passed out easily. at the sight of “blood”

Shadow girl: weak.

Gay and Powerful: yeah. And who am I to turn up such a good opportunity for a photo op.

Gay and Powerful: we’re in the abandoned classroom, third floor, guys, let’s take a group selfie!

The Enigma: I’ll ficus to make myself a bit visible

The Enigma: waiy, ficus is a word?

The Enigma: wat does it mean…

The Enigma: oh fit trees!

The Enigma: figs,

The Enigma: I like figs.

The Enigma: anyways, I’m on my way!

Quite Vexing: hey, can I send the picture or sausage to my old friends? After we do that picture, they’re really freaking out about him.

Gay and Powerful: oh of course! I don’t want him to actually suffer..

Gay and Powerful: much…

Shadow Girl: yeah, that’s fair.

The CRAAZZZEED ones.

Alien queen: love ya too, ya weirdos.

Alien queen: /p

adventure time nerd: HOLY SHIT LAUREN!

Disney first gay prince: AAAA! LAUREN. HUYS!

Disney first gay prince: GUYS LAUREN’S BACK

Rocket crush: Lauren! Hi!

Panda Revolutionist: QUEEN OF BIZARRE! Where you been?

Alien queen: I don’t got much to say. Besiiideees..

Alien queen: there is one thing.

Alien queen sent a picture

Alien queen: tell him to stop putting up flyers about us. Its rude, and It’s hurting our shadow’s feelings.

adventure time nerd: OH SH

Alien queen: your “angel” friend has been a pain in our side, not to mention racist.

Alien queen: he’s uninjured. Third floor.

Alien queen: Bye.

Chapter Text

Private Chat

Joel: Hey, L.D?

L.D: yes I participated in the prank on sausage. No I am not sorry. im used to dealing with racism for who I am. but I dony like it being done to my friends. specially since I’ve never had friends before.

Joel: Yeah, that makes sense. Uh. I actually wanted to apologize on behalf of sausage.

Joel: listen, I don’t approve of what you and your friends did, but.. I also see you didn’t want to harm him. you took it too far, but he did too.

Joel: I’ll make sure he doesn’t put up any more flyers, and stops makinh remors about you guys.

L.D: oh.

L.D: I. Wasn’t expecting that.

Joel: yeah, Im full of surprises.

L.D: you are you really are

Joel: also

Joel: I got you a present, but I don’t know where your locker is, can you tell mw

L.D: .. meet me in the basment

Joel: wait theirs a baement?

L.D: during lunch break tomorrow. Do not be late.

L.D: …please.

The CRAAZZZEED ONES

adventure time nerd: GUYS GUYS GUYS

adventure time nerd: IM MEETING UP WUTH HER

Panda Revolutionist: OOOOH!

Rocket Crush: nice! Good for you joel!

adventure time nerd: during lunch!

Disney first gay prince: wait, your ditching us during lunch?

adventure time nerd: Oli and CPK ditch us all the time

Disney first gay prince: your ditching mMEEE? theyr doing their mauge couple shit today, and you dtch me?

Rocket Crush: we are literally just gonna hang out on the roof so Oli can teach me about the orb.

Rocket Crush: you do no get to say iys couple shit when even I don’t know if iy is.

adventure time nerd: you can eat with the rest of the group

Disney first gay prince: eeeeeeehhh.. fine.

Disney first gay prince: I’ll cover for you all.

Disney first gay prince: but joel! You owe me.

The Cryptid Hunters

Head of the Holy Hunt!: now do you see why they are villains?

Hot Stuff: oh shove off Sausage, you were putting up all sorta posters up about them being rude

Big Furry: im gonna stay out of it but.

Big Furry: they were justified in prenking yo sausage

Head of the Holy Hunt!: prank?! It was taken far!

Hot Stuff: they just dumped red paint on you, and wrote on your face.

Hot Stuff: it wasnt that bad.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: … it was still scary.

Hot Stuff: sure dude. I gotta bo

The ORBBB: have fun!

Turning Gay: be safe.

Fungi fun guy: wait where is he going?

Turning Gay: Joel lost a bet to me, so now he8s doing me a fabor.

Fungi fun guy: what kinda favor?

Turning Gay: finding the most photogenic spots in school.

Not Human: Ah, that makes sense.

Hooman: poor joel.. I’ll go help him!

Turning Gay: your ruining his chance of repaying his fabor?

Hooman: uh

Hooman: if he wants help I shall assist!

Hooman: but.. till then, I’m just gonna.. eat.

Flower queen: has anyone seen Jimmy recently? I feel like he’s been around less than before

Hooman: oh! True, he doenst chat much in the group anymore.

Not Human: I see him all the time! Walking around the halls alone that is.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: he has been moodier lately, maybe he’s upset?

Head of the Holy Hunt! Or maybe it’s a half dragon thing? i frel like hd come to us othrrsiss

Not Human: my eyes. They cannot read.

Hooman: rip sausage’s spelling

The last dragon: yeah. it’s the wurst

Head of the Holy Hunt!: GODDAMIT

Brothers without blood

Big brother: Scott.

Gay brother: uh oh.

Gay brother: what did I do?

Big brother: I hear Lizzie had a meeting with the blazeborn.

Gay brother: oh it’s shubble’s eoing that Im in trouble.

Big brother: so its true.

Gay brother: yeah, its true.

Gay brother: but I know enough about Joel to know that he wouldn’t harm lizzie.

Gay brother: he does really like her.

Big brother: very well.

Big brother: in that case should they choose to court, I want to meet him.

Gay brother: sure.

Big brother: here. In the house.

Big brother: understood?

Gay brother: yeah, Tahts fair.

Girl brother: don’t traumatize him if it comes to that,

Big brother: I do not make promises I can’t keep, but I will try.

Girl brother: thanks for the effort at least.

Girl brother: but seriously, don’t hurt him.

Big brother: You’re not just part of my brother’s entourage, you’re part of the family now. It is my duty as the eldest to protect you.

Big brother: if that means not harming the one who caught your interest, I can do that.

Girl brother: .. I’m cleaning up the basement, Don’t make me cry right now..

Girl brother: thank you. So much

Joel stumbled down the stairs, tripping over his own feet in his rush. He’d been held up, grabbing food for himself, and for L.D
He smiled, as he reached the bottom of the stairs. It was clear now how no one had been able to find the way down here for so long, it was impossible to find without instructions.
The blazeborn fumbled for the key, and shivered when he grabbed the invisible object. It felt slightly damp, just enough to be uncomfortable.
Opening the door, he peered in, glancing around. The room looked somewhat familiar, but he didn’t have time to dwell on that.
Joel walked in, closing the door gently, sensing something in the air
In the middle of the room, the air flickered.
Once.
Twice
Slowly, a figure formed in front of him. His breath stuttered in his chest, as he stared
Pink hair, partially pulled up by two buns, pure black horns nestled in between the peach pink curls
Her eyes were securely hidden by a thick black blindfold
She was fiddling with her own thumbs, literal green thumbs, nervously, as Joel blinked out of his daze.
She wasn’t short.l but she wasn’t tall either.
“Uh! Hi! Sorry L.D I didn’t mean to stare.” He said, smiling, and walking forward a bit.
L.D smiled back. “Call me lizzie.”
The enigma sat on an old crate, patting the spot next to her.
The blazeborn perked up, as did the temperature in the room, as he walked over to sit by her.
“I brought food for us!” He said, offering one of the paper bags to Lizzie. “So we can eat and chat.” He added quickly.
She gratefully took it.
“Thanks.”

The League of Villains

Gay and Powerful: if Joel lays one finger on Lizzie, we go feral?

Quite Vexing: obviously.

Shadow girl: agreed.

Gay and Powerful: before Xornoth can kill him themself.

Quite Vexing: there’s the sibling rivalry.

Gay and Powerful: I wanna be scary too!

Gay and Powerful: he doesn’t get to be the only intimidating brother

Quite Vexing: how did she become part of your official family again ?

Shadow girl: yeah, Xornoth is hard to warm up to, but she had jo problm

Gay and Powerful: I’m unsure myself, but we wrote her into the family tree, so it’s official

The Enigma: I have a inquiry.

Quite Vexing: cool. I have wings

Quite Vexing: what’s a inquiry?

The Enigma: it’s a question

Quite Vexing: OH

Gay and Powerful: what’s going on?

The Enigma: well.

Gay and Powerful: how did it go wuth joel?

The Enigma: it went well! But

Shadow girl: oh no.

Gay and Powerful: I’ll get my sacrificial knife.

Quite Vexing: already have mine.

The Enigma: could someone tell me what a date is?

Gay and Powerful:…

Quite Vexing: …

Shadow girl: …

Shadow girl: oh-

Private chat

Jimmy: you’re going on a date with l.d?

Joel: okay, how the hell did you know?

Jimmy: I’ve been scouting around the school trying to find whoever keeps giving me flowers. And found the basement. I overheard you and her in there.

Joel: Ah. I see.

Joel: well, ye. I am

Jimmy: that’s great!

Jimmy: I’m really happy for ya mate!

Jimmy: now that you have romantic experience, do you think you could help me?

Joel: problably not, but I can try

Chapter Text

Brothers without blood

Big brother: Scott, running up to your room will not prevent a conversation.

Big brother: and Lizzie, same goes to you.

Girl brother: I got a date with Joel

Big brother: …

Big brother: …

Big brother: I see.

Big brother: he is kind to you?

Girl brother: yea

Big brother: then it’s fine. But I want to know where you plan to go.

Big brother: just in case.

Big brother: now. What about my other brother?

Big brother: Scott?

Gay brother: it’s not really a big deal.

Big brother: ?

Big brother: does it have to do with the dragon boy you like?

Gay brother: I

Gay brother: yeah

Gay brother: how did you know?

Big brother: you’re easy to read little brother.

Big brother: now. What happened?

Gay brother: he was carrying around silver jewelry.

Gay brother: I know it’s not directed at me, he doenst even know I’m a vampire, but it’s just. It was clearly at least partially blessed metal, I could barely look at him, and I couldn’t even give him a flower, and it feels so personal but I know it’s not, and I feel bad cause I feel like I’m being self centered, and thank god for autocorrect, but inreally like him, but im scared of how he’d react.

Gay brother: not cause he might thing I’m ugly, im beautiful, but.

Gay brother: he wanted to keep species like us away, so he doesn’t like.l he couldn’t like.

Gay brother: see, it’s stupid.

Girl brother: i can talk to Joel. Tell him to talk ti then dragon.

Big brother: don’t jump to conclusions Scott. Analyze the situation at hand, then come to a conclusion.

Gay brother: I know.. it’s just hard when it comes to feelings…

Big brother: well, you know I hold very little care about the whole.. romance thing. If any.

Gay brother: yeah.. I know. But it matters to me.

Big brother: and I respect that.

The Cryptid Hunters

The Head of the Holy Hunt!: I still want to find more about the league.

The Head of the Holy Hunt!: they are evil.

The last dragon: meh, they don’t seem terrible.

Hot Stuff: they really aren’t.

Hot Stuff: trust me.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: actually! Why do you speak with such conviction? And why haven’t you been sadly rambling about your crush recently?

Hot Stuff: reasons.

Turning Gay: why has Jimmy been so sad today?

The last dragon: I didn’t get any new flowers this week…

The last dragon: I usually get them once a week recently, but not this week…

The last dragon: what if I did something to annoy them?

The last dragon: i dont wanna scare off a romantic interest before I even get to meet them..

Hot Stuff: you didn’t manage to give them the jewelry? Or even leave it around when they drop flowers?

The last dragon: no..

Hot Stuff: huh..

The ORBBB: surprising your romantic interest is a good idea, but it needs to be gentle at first.

The ORBBB: communication is also important, so if you could find a way to leave them notes, that would be good.

Flower queen: …

Fungi fun guy: …

Not Human: …

Hooman: …

Flower queen: wow.. you’re actually good at giving romantic advice Oli.

The ORBBB: I speak from experience!

Big Furry: AM I YOUR BOYFRIEND OR NOT?

The ORBBB: YOU WILL FIND OUT EVENTUALLY

Big Furry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Flower queen: UHM- should we be worried?

Not Human: I think so?

Turning Gay: no

Not Human: WHAT?

Flower queen: I. I think we should.

Turning Gay: nah, this. This is actually very normal

Hot Stuff: it actually is.

Hot Stuff: they’ve been like this for years.

Hot Stuff: anyways!

Hot Stuff: Jimmy you should try to find a way to leave them notes!

Hot Stuff: maybe you can find their locker or something?

Hot Stuff: or..idk

Flower queen: well.. I’m any cases!

Flower queen: In

Flower queen: we should look into the league fo villains a bit at least

Flower queen: we want to know more about our classmates!

Private Chat

Mystery queen: Joel?

Lucky blaze: yes?

Mystery queen: your friends with the dragon, rit?

Lucky blaze: ?

Lucky blaze: yea?

Lucky blaze: why?

Mystery queen: you know my vampire friend?

Lucky blaze: ye?

Mystery queen: he’s crushin on the dragon really hard, and dragon wearing that silver jewerly is making him sad.

Lucky blaze: OH!

Lucky blaze: SHIT

Lucky blaze: YOUR FRIEND IS THE SECRET ADMIRER?

Mystery queen: yes.

Mystery queen: can you just tell him to stop wearing silver?

Lucky blaze: wow I give bad advice.

Lucky blaze: damn,.

Mystery queen: by the way, we’re still going stargazing tomorrow, right?

Lucky blaze: yeah! I can’t wait!

Private chat

Joel: Jimmy?

Jimmy: yeah?

Joel: never listen to me again.

Joel: also, stop wearing the silver jewerly.

Chapter Text

Private chat

Jimmy: I’m gonna find out who it is.

Joel: ????

Jimmy: my secret admirer. I’m gonna find out who it is. Today. Or .. whenever they next give me flowers.

Jimmy: Im dying of curiosity, and I want to thank them.

Jimmy: no one’s ever been this nice to me..

Jimmy: you guys are always sweet and polite of course! But..

Jimmy: no one’s liked me for me before. Like really liked me.

Jimmy: I’ve always been the laughing stock, the funny guy, the clumsy one…

Jimmy: I don’t really mind! Of course.. but..

Jimmy: idk, I want someone who likes me, as me. Not as the clumsy dragon.

Joel: damn Jimmy, I..

Joel: I was gonna say sorry, but that sounds like a jerk move… but I am.

Joel: I don’t think you’re just the clumsy one.

Joel: you’re our friend. You’re pretty damn awesome.

Jimmy: thanks Joel.

Jimmy: I still want to know who they are…

Private Chat

Oli: Hey CPK?

Callum: hm? What’s up Oli? You don’t often text me out of the blue.

Callum: Usually you give a heads up. Or it’s on the schedule.

Oli: can we talk in the gardens?

Callum: oh. Okay. On my way.

“Oli?”
The enderian looked up, finding the giant fox hybrid walking over to him. He pat the grass next to him, dropping the flower he’d been fiddling with.
“So what’s up? You seem more focused.” The giant said, sitting down by his.. friend? Partner? Who knows
“Does it bother you?” Oli asked instantly.
“How you dance around our relationship status?” CPK responded. It wasn’t hard for him to understand what Oli was talking about, but it was better to be sure. The enderian nodded.
The giant paused, and thought about it.
“Hm. A tiny bit? But not cause of you. More cause if we are dating, I don’t think I’ve been the best boyfriend, and I want to be.”
Oli nodded.
“Okay. I think we are dating.” He said.
“You think?”
“I’m not really sure either. But it sounds right, right?”
The fox hybrid thought that over, before laughing, and picking up Oli, hugging him.
“Yeah. I guess it does.”

Jimmy decided that standing still, pretending to be struggling with his locker, was the best option to get the secret admirer to do their flower thing..
…
Okay it wasn’t fool proof, but hey, he was a fool. That didn’t make sense, but it’s fine.
but maybe standing there for 30 minutes was a bit suspicious… well, no one had questioned him yet.
In fact, no one was really around.
That was probably ideal for this.
But still. Nothing happened.
The dragon sighed sadly, finally deciding to give up, eyes trained on the floor.
As he did, a flower dropped on his head. Without thinking, his hand shot up, and gently grabbed.. something above him.
He blinked, and brought his hand down, placing the thing in his other palm.
“Woaaah! Lunar moth!” He said, cupping the pretty moth. “Cool!” He grinned, before noticing the flower on his head.
“Wait, are you involved with whoever’s been doing this?” He asked, looking at the bug suspiciously.
The bug didn’t answer, but it didn’t try to take off either. For a bug, it looked kinda flustered.
Jimmy sighed, and sat down, resting his back on his locker.
“Course not.., It’s probably all been one big prank, huh?” He said, looking at the bug. The bug seemed to hesitate about something.
The last dragon smiled. “Well, hopefully whoever has been pranking me’s been having fun with.. it?”
The bug started glowing. Jimmy scrambled back, while the bug’s shape morphed, shifted. He felt a weight on his hands, as the bug glowed and morphed into a figure in front of him.
Pale white hair, with a singular teal streak, red eyes..
Jimmy’s face heated up very quickly, more so than when he summoned his fire breath.
The figure, male, was holding his hands.
“Hi..”
“Oh my gosh you’re beautiful.”

The Cryptid Hunters

The last dragon: I HAVE A BOYFRIND

The last dragon: BOYFRIEND!

Hot Stuff: WOOO! GET IT JIM!

The last dragon: HE’S SO PRETTY

Flower queen: congratulations Jimmy! Is it your secret admirer?

The last dragon: yeah! He’s really cool!

Fungi fun guy: ARE YOU KIDDIING? JIMMY GOT A DATE BEFORE ME?

The last dragon: why is that so surprising?

Fungi fun guy: cuase it’s.. you?

Fungi fun guy: no offense, but like…

Fungi fun guy: I worry a bit about your new boyfriend.

The last dragon: no it’s finnnne

Hot Stuff: Jim?

The last dragon: he handed me his phone, hi, I’m the boyfriend.

The last dragon: and listen here, Jimmy is a fucking gem and a treasure, not to mention adorable and sweet.

The last dragon: talk shit again, and you will get hit.

Fungi fun guy: are you .. threatening us?

The last dragon: I am.. waiy what is this chat.

The last dragon: cryptid Hunters?

The last dragon: oh this is hilarious. I gotta show the others.

The last dragon: hey it’s Jimmy again!

The last dragon: Scott screenshotted a lot of our convos, and is laughing at it now

The last dragon: he’s got a pretty laugh!

Head of the Holy Hunt!: hello, what the heck is going on?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: Jimmy, who:s your boyfriend?

The last dragon: his name is Scott. He’s camera shy, So I can’t show you what he looks like.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: wait, why is he interested in our groupchat?

The last dragon: idk. Does it really matter

Not Human: I don’t think so. As long as Jimmy’s happy! That’s what matters.

Hooman: yeah! We should be happy for our friend!

Fungi fun guy: yeah, Tahts true. Sorry I was rude before Jimmy, wast my intinton.

The last dragon: it’s fine Meghan!

Turning Gay: goddamnit, Jimmy teach me your ways, how do I get a boyfriend?

The last dragon: get really really lucky!

The last dragon: I gotta go now!

Hot Stuff: would now be a good time to mention I have a girlfriend?

Turning Gay: no shit, simp boy.

Hot Stuff: rude.

Head of the Holy Hunt!: WHAT

Head of the Holy Hunt!: YOU HAVE A GIRLFIRNED?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU BRO!

hot Stuff: thanks! I’m with her right now, she gave me the go ahead to tell you guys!

The League of Villains

The Enigma: sooo. Scott, something you wanna tell us?

Gay and Powerful: AAAAAAAAAAAA

Quite Vexing: WHATS HAPPENED

Shadow girl: DO WE NEED TO KILL

Gay and Powerful: HE’A MY BOYFRIEND NOW!

Quite Vexing: OH MY GOSSSH!

Shadow girl: DRAGON BOY?

Gay and Powerful: YES

Shadow girl: NICE!

Gay and Powerful: HE’S SO CUTE HELP

The Enigma: I heard it allll. From Joel.

Gay and Powerful: oh and.

Gay and Powerful: I got a look at their groupchat, check this out.

Gay and powerful sent 10 screenshots

Shadow girl: mamma Mia that’s a lotta words.

Quite Vexing: brb, gonna be reading for the next ten minutes.

Gay and Powerful: HOLY SHUT HE’S SO INNOCENT

The Enigma: ?

Gay and Powerful: so. You know when I blush I have to drink a lot of blood?

Quite Vexing: yeah, so your artificial blood flow keeps up.

Gay and Powerful: he saw me intensely sipping on my blood packs, and he

Gay and Powerful: he offered to let me drink from him

Shadow girl: OH MY GOSH

Quite Vexing: SAVE IT FOR MARRIAGE BOYS

The Enigma: WELL DAMN I DIDNT THINK HE’D BE THAT FORWARD

Gay and Powerful: HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS

Gay and Powerful: HE’S SO FUCKING CUTE

Brothers without blood

Big brother: Scott, you’ve been intensely drinking blood packs.

Big brother: what’s got you flustered?

Gay brother: I’m dating the dragon

Gay brother: and he..he offered to let me drink from him , so I’m just still calming myself from that

Big brother: .. I see.

Big brother: you will be bringing him over soon.

Big brother: and Lizzie, you’ll be bringing the blaze at the same time, I trust?

Girl brother: okay!

Private Chat

Mystery queen: Hey joel?

Lucky blaze: ye?

Mystery queen: my brothers want to meet you

Lucky blaze: should I be scared? Cause im scared.

Chapter Text

Private Chat

Jimmy: so I’m terrified

Joel: mood

Jimmy: wait happened what you to

Joel: …

Jimmy: .. wait

Joel: you wanna try again?

Jimmy: what happened to you?

Joel: Lizzie’s brothers wanna meet me. You?

Jimmy: Scott’s brother wants to meet me.

Joel: damn, we’re both dead.

The Cryptid Hunters

Hot Stuff: well, it’s been nice knowing y’all.

Flower queen: ???

Flower queen: Joel?

Turning Gay: Joel you can’t just say something like that and disappear.

The ORBBB: is Joel dead?

Giant Furry: he just disappeared after typing that so maybe

The ORBBB: such a tragedy! I shall prepare the funeral per our previous agreements

Head of the Holy Hunt!: Wait what?

Head of the Holy Hunt!: You guys have planned your funerals?

The ORBBB: Actually i’ve planned everyone’s funerals.

Turning Gay: to be fair, he’s actually pretty good at planning things like that

Head of the Holy Hunt!: I’m- sorry what…

Turning Gay: it’s Oli, dony question it.

The last dragon: I’m also probably dead.

Turning Gay: okay, now I’m confused. What did you do?

The last dragon: bye

Fungi fun guy: what

Fungi fun guy: oh he’s gone.

The ORBBB: I shall plan multiple funerals

Giant Furry: should we be worried for them?

Brothers without blood

Gay brother: you won’t kill Jimmy, right?

Big brother: I just need to explain to your little dragon boy toy what is appropriate to do in a relationship with my little brother

Girl brother: so you’re gonna kill him?

Big brother: I shall break him emotionally for suggesting such intimate acts to my little brother.

Gay brother: Oh my god, please don’t..

Big brother: I will.

Big brother: the lack of knowledge of vampire culture is honestly insulting.

Big brother: your boyfriend will learn about our culture.

Big brother: wether he wants to or not.

Big brother: and if he doesn’t, he will suffer the consequences.

Girl brother: honestly, it’s a very interesting culture. Ve been having fun to learn about these last few months.

Gay brother: ypu’re gonna scare away of my first date in years..

Big brother: I will only accept the best partners for my family.

Girl brother: what about yourself?

Big brother: if I ever find a partner on my level, and interested in a close friendship, not a relationship

Girl brother: yeah, that makes sennse

Jimmy was just staring at his food. Running into Joel outside the house.. mansion had been unexpected, but now he was relieved for some kind of familiar comfort in this uncomfortable situation.
Scott was sitting across from the dragon, sipping what Jimmy originally thought was tomato soup, in.. a glass.. but thinking harder, it was probably blood. Next to him, was Joel’s girlfriend, Lizzie, who was simply calmly eating, her head moving back and forth between the head of the table, and Jimmy.
Sitting at the head of the table, was the head of the small family. Scott has introduced his brother as Xornoth, and they were a lot more intimidating than Scott. Long purply hair, blacked out eyes, besides the red sclera. He had not said a word since Jimmy and Joel had arrived, had merely glared.
Next to was Jimmy, was Joel. The blazeborn seemed completely unaware of the tension in the room.
Xornoth was leaning forward, his hands calmly crossed, resting his chin on his hands. His red eyes were staring right at Jimmy. His glass of blood remained untouched.
Jimmy swallowed. They had prepared meat specially for him. It was rude not to eat. But with under that glare, anyone would lose their appetite.
“Dragon.”
The voice cut through the air smoothly, terrifyingly. Jimmy jumped, and looked at the head of the table. Joel started coughing, hitting his chest, clearly surprised.
Xornoth had leaned back into their chair, glaring. Scot winced, and covered his face, seeming embarrassed.
“It is my understanding that you invited my little brother to.. drink. Your blood. Directly from your body.” Xornoth continued.
Jimmy blinked.
“Uh.. yes? He.. well he was drinking a lot of blood, so I thought-“
“You thought wrong.” It was a statement, not a question. “However. I appreciate your honesty, and your earnest worry for my brother. You see.” He finally picked up his glass of wine.
“I was worried of your intentions with my brother. But it is clear you do not know the significance of what you offered.” He continued. Jimmy blinked, and glanced at Scott.
He had grabbed the bottle of blood, and started chugging it, his face very very red.
“Uh.. sorry, what?” The half dragon said.
Xornoth sighed
“In our vampiric culture, when a partner of any kind, especially romantic, offers their blood to the vampire…” he pauses, sipping from his blood glass. “It is usually an invention for intimate actions.”
Jimmy blinks dumbly. As Joel snorts, and starts laughing.
Once reality caught up to the half dragon, he started sputtering out flames, and shaking his head.
“OH MY GOD, N-NO THAT WASNT- I WAS JUST-“
He covered his face in shame
“I now understand your intentions were quite innocent, if they were not, I would have thrown you out already. However, I want you to research more about our species, if you intend to stay with my brother.”

The Cryptid Hunters

The last dragon: that was the scariest experience I’ve ever had..

The Head of the Holy Hunt!: WHAT HAPPENED?

The last dragon: I’m gonna go research vampires.

Not Human: wait what

Chapter Text

Okay, so-
Sorry I haven’t uploaded in a while
There are many reasons.

1. School started, I’ve been busy and focusing on my projects I put more effort into and enjoy more
2. I didn’t have a plan for this story. I made this for fun, and just wanted to explore new writing styles.
3. I have been having physical and mental health issues, and I’m too stressed to write something like this which is far out of my comfort zone.

So.. yeah.
I don’t know when, if ever, I’ll continue this, sorry.

Edittt!
I think I’ve used up all the dynamics I want here, so yeah, this gc will not be coming back-
Sorry

However. I might make something else simialr in the future used different origins, for example small squad, stuff like that
Would anyone be interested in that? And could you tell me who’ you!d want to see in what origins?