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“Tattsun-senpai has been acting really strange lately, sneaking around and being secretive.” Aira poked at his half-cooked hash browns, Niki must not have been at the Cafe today. “Do you think he’s hiding something from us?”
The young idol looked dejected, playing with his food as the boy in front of him felt none of his bad vibes.
Said boy in front of him was Hiiro, and he paid no mind to Aira’s troubling chattering. He was way more concerned with his omurice which he had classically written AMEN onto. He still didn’t know what that meant. The boy was about 3 bites in when he opened his food filled mouth to answer Aira.
“What could Tatsumi-senpai be hiding from us?” What an innocent question, he took 3 more bites and finished off his plate. “It’s Tatsumi-senpai! He’s always so honest with us he wouldn't keep secrets.”
Aira pushed his plate forward towards Hiiro, signaling the boy it was free reign on his leftovers. And the boy indeed went to town, easily finishing up the hash browns and practically licking the plate clean.
Aira grumbled, sitting back in his chair, “I see him sneaking around ES acting like no one sees him being suspicious, if he’s not hiding anything I’m more worried he’s gonna be arrested.”
“Maybe he’s doing secret stuff for the unit?” Hiiro questioned, putting his licked clean plate down.
Aira shook his head and crossed his arms, “I would be infinitely more mad if he was doing secret idol stuff and keeping it from us.”
“Maybe he’s been meeting with someone in secret and exchanging secret black market info and now he’s hiding from the government type people with mind erasing guns and pens that turn into laser swords!”
“Hiro-kun that’s dumb, that wouldn’t be happening at ES.”
“Aira, think about all the weird crazy stuff that happens around here, seems kinda likely to me.” Hiiro said, giving his plate one last lick for good measure.
Aira sprang up in his seat. Hiiro was right, weird shit does happen at ES. And on the daily. Idols being kidnapped by other idols, terrifying ultimatums given by shady higher-ups, legit murders being carried out. The list could go on and on.
“Wait Hiro-kun you actually might be onto something. Tattsun-senpai might be dealing with some shady people and being forced to do some awful things! Haven’t you been seeing him looking weirdly at things on his phone? He’s probably being terrorized by some unknown secret organization! WE HAVE TO SAVE TATTSUN-SENPAI!”
Before Aira could loudly proclaim anything more on his new conspiracy, just the man they were discussing so passionately walked up towards the Alkaloid pair’s table.
“Saving me from what now?” Tatsumi asked, smiling. He had a document in his hand. Aira’s eyes gazed down at it and as soon as the priest noticed he shuffled it behind his back.
“I- Uh…” Aira started, trying not to stare too hard at his senpai’s blatant hiding.
“Were gonna save you from the secret government men who are gonna steal you and torture you for information!”
Tatsumi smiled and giggled to himself, “Fufu, what’s this government torture coming to get me now Hiiro-san?”
“Hiro-kun! T-tattsun-senpai he’s just playing around- it's actually a new plot to a Ryuseitai show happening soon! Yeah! They’re branching out into some crazy stuff haha. Idols theses days you know- always gotta be changing!” Aira nervously laughed as he sputtered through his coverup story. He kicked Hiiro’s leg under the table and hoped the gesture would be enough for him to catch on.
“Well it sounds very on brand, yet off brand for them. Hmm. I hope all goes well. I didn’t think I would run into you two here, I would love to chat but I have… ahem… business to attend to.” The most terrifying smile crept across Tatsumi’s face. “Excuse me, you two.”
Aira gulped hard, as he watched his senpai walk across the cafe and out the doors behind them. It wasn’t until the man was out of sight that Aira turned back to his partner and started whisper-screaming.
“Did you see that Hiro-kun?? Did you see how terrified Tattsun-senpai looked- and- and the secret paper he hid from us!! You were right, there's something awful going on and I’m afraid Tattsun-senpai is in danger!”
Hiiro was shaking salt out of the shaker and licking it off his finger. He immediately put it down in favor of throwing his arms up, “We have to go save Tatsumi-senpai!”
“Lets trail him and see where he goes! Remember he put trackers on all our phones so we can find wherever Mayo-san is hiding in the walls when we need him? Let's use that.” Aira got up from the table and ushered Hiiro to follow. “Also do we need to feed you more? You’re eating salt- no nevermind we can talk about this later.”
---
Aira looked down at his blinking phone as the two sleuths went searching for their senpai. They had already followed the directions for about 20 minutes and were way off the premises of ES. Aira only became more and more worried as they kept closer and closer to the shady part of town. It wasn’t quite the dilapidated cityscape of certain parts Kohaku had told him all about, but the scenery was becoming less and less desirable and more and more unnerving.
Suddenly the phone stopped beeping and Aira’s dot on the map was practically situated atop of Tatsumi’s.
“Looks like we're here…” Aira looked around him. They were right in front of what looked like a cafe. It was the nicest looking building around the shady town. It was almost surprising such a nice establishment could be so neatly situated between such rusty, rundown looking buildings. There were flowers and bushes and a beautiful garden terrace around the cafe which led to an outdoor patio. There Aira spotted the familiar head of mint green hair.
Apparently so did Hiiro and he loudly exclaimed, “Look Aira there! Tatsumi-senpai is in there!”
“Shhh Hiro-kun! Not so loud, we’re being sneaky, remember? This is a covert operation, we can’t have the evil people meeting with Tattsun-senpai to be onto us! Or we’ll be in deep waters too.”
“I can’t swim too well, so I’ll be sure to stay quiet.”
Aira didn’t waste breath commenting on Hiiro’s stupidity, or correcting it for that matter. The boy could believe whatever he wanted if that meant shutting the fuck up.
So the two snuck up to the nearest thick leafy bush and hid themselves inside to get a closer look at their senpai.
“Ouchie Aira this brush is really prickly, I think there’s thorns in my arms. And my legs. And face-“
“Hush Hiro-kun if saving our senpai means being a thorn pincushion for a while, it's worth it. Tell me if you see any suspicious looking people there’s definitely going to be someone showing up- don’t take your shoes off Hiro-kun what are you doing?”
“This helps trust me.”
Aira didn’t question further.
Instead he went back to searching through the leaves to catch a glimpse of Tatsumi. And finally there he was, sitting nonchalantly at a garden table. He was sipping on a small latte and twiddling his thumbs calmly, looking like he was waiting for someone.
“Man, these evil people have been harassing and bothering Tattsun-senpai for so long that he’s totally completely calm about meeting them here! Poor guy, I wonder how long he’s been forced to do this!” Aira cried quietly. He didn’t want to think of all the pain and suffering his precious idol senpai had gone through to act so collected in such an obviously dangerous situation.
“Oh oh! Aira Aira! Look!” Hiiro was looking out from the other side of the bush. “A suspicious person just like you said!”
“Lemme see, scoot over!” Aira pushed his way next to Hiiro and peeked through the brush. Then he gasped.
Grade A, picture perfect, suspicious guy. Just like Hiiro said.
The man was tall and lanky, with a casual gray unbuttoned suit jacket and matching pants. He wore a normal white shirt underneath with no eye-catching jewelry or accessories. He had black gloves covering his hands and a face mask to cover his mouth. The rest of his face and head was covered by a large matching fedora which peered over the sunglasses hiding his eyes. The perfect outfit if you’re part of some sneaky secret evil organization.
“You think that’s the guy?” Hiiro asked, sitting down in the dirt of the bush, shoes still off.
“That’s gotta be him! Look at his hat glasses mask combo. That’s the only way to hide in plain sight while people somehow not thinking you’re suspicious. But we're smarter than that right, Hiro-kun?”
Hiiro was drawing a picture of omurice in the dirt with a twig. Yes he still wrote Amen on it.
“Er- Well. Let’s just watch if the man goes and sits with Tattsun-senpai.” Aira shifted back to his original position and watched Tatsumi’s spot in the cafe.
Low and behold, the suspicious man took his seat right across from their senpai. Tatsumi smiled and waved to the man and practically wiggled in his seat with excitement once the man became comfortable in his own. Aira could see the same smile from the cafe before, spread across Tatsumi’s face.
“Is this… like Stalkhome syndrome?” Aira whimpered to himself. That was plausible in his head. It almost looked like the two men had danced the tango before, like their very meeting was one rehearsed over and over. Maybe Tatsumi was being stalked and harassed by this mysterious man to give him information and Tatsumi somehow became attached in some twisted horrible way. Aira shuttered at the thought. He needed to really focus and save his senpai.
After what seemed like ages, Tatsumi was the first to open his mouth and speak. He excitedly prattled on about something or other, with excited hands and emoted expressions. Aira couldn’t hear a thing, they were way too far away and inching any closer would give their hiding spot away.
“Damn it- Hiro-kun don’t repeat that. I can’t hear a single word he’s saying! How are we supposed to know what’s going on!” Aira cried out in defeat. He was never going to be able to save his senpai now.
Hiiro, who had apparently been watching alongside Aira the whole time, decided to add his input, “Tatsumi-senpai said: ‘I’m so glad you decided to meet me here again, I never would have thought you of all people would want to meet up again! After what happened last time I'm sure you would have thought I’d be too afraid to come back!’”
Aira’s mouth hung open wide.
“YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU COULD READ LIPS!!” Aira shook Hiiro back and forth, making the boy dizzy.
“You- never- asked-“ Hiiro said in between the vigorous shakes.
“Well never mind that, get to work!” Aira huffed, pushing the redhead's face through the bushes to resume his new job.
“Well I can’t tell what the suspicious guy is saying because of the mask and all, but Tatsumi-senpai has that weird document you were talking about and I think he’s talking about it. He’s using some big words but I think I know what he’s saying.”
“Well spit it out!” Aira was growing impatient.
“He’s saying: 'I brought back your documents and you’ll find that I’ll agree to your demands’ Aira! What if these are something secrety about ES or Alkaloid and he’s selling them out to try and protect himself or us!”
Aira gasped right back at the redhead, “Oh my god you’re so totally right! It would be just like Tattsun-senpai to try and protect us. He’s probably been doing this for so long for our sakes. But we gotta put a stop to it- keep reading.”
“Okie, now he's saying: ‘Don’t worry it’s all planned out, I even added some extra time for us.’”
Tatsumi reached his hand across the table towards the other man’s who simply removed it from his reach. Tatsumi retracted his hand and brought it to his mouth, as to clear his throat.
Hiiro continued, “It’s fine if you’re still that way about it all, it’s okay I can be patient. This document is important to both of us in more ways than one’ …Tatsumi-senpai is us using some weird phrasing, it’s almost like he’s got some kind of weird chemistry with this suspicious person…”
Aira thought for a moment. Things were lining up in his head. The document, the excited nature, the romantic gestures.
TATSUMI WAS BEING FORCED INTO A WEDDING ARRANGEMENT WITH A SUSPICIOUS GUY!
“Hiro-kun stop, come here for a sec. I totally figured it out. Tattsun-senpai is being forced to marry this guy- listen! The document is a marriage agreement, the extra time is like some sick twisted honeymoon, and the “important for more ways than one” is definitely about how he's protecting us and possibly the whole of ES! Tattsun-senpai you’re so brave and strong!”
“So Tatsumi-senpai is in danger of being married off against his will! We gotta stop this! Without Tatsumi-senpai we’re not a full unit he can’t leave us! Let’s save him-“ Hiiro tried to stand up and jump right out of the bush and onto the scene of the crime. Aira pulled him right back down, shushing him once more.
“No no no we can’t leap out like true heroes until the time is right. We should keep reading just a little bit more and then we’ll know for sure.” Aira beckoned Hiiro to read once more.
“If you’re so sure Aira… uhh he’s saying something…” Hiiro trailed off, returning to watch intently until his eyes widened. “Proposal! He said proposal Aira you were right- I like kinda didn’t wanna believe it because it kinda sounded dumb but-“
“Now Hiro-kun! We’ve heard enough, we gotta jump out now and stop this mess!” Aira proclaimed, as if he had forgotten this possibly shady person was a secret government agent and could literally kill on sight. He was an ES idol, he wasn’t very smart.
The two boys tore through the bush and lept out in the open garden patio, making themselves loudly known and pointing their fingers right at the suspicious man.
“AHA! Stop right there!” Hiiro shouted.
“Step away from our Tattsun-senpai! We’re not gonna let you hurt him or take him away!”
“Shit-“ the suspicious man mumbled from under his mask. “You said no one would know we were here Tatsumi-“
“I- Uh- I didn’t plan this!” Tatsumi stuttered trying to save face.
“You can drop the facade Tattsun-senpai, it's ok! We’re here to save you from this man from forcing you to marry him! You don’t have to put your life, or ours, or all of ES, on the line!”
“What?” He answered.
“HIYA!” Hiiro screamed as he dramatically flipped the hat and sunglasses off the mystery man.
They flew off and landed on the patio floor, a head of blue hair was uncovered and the mystery was revealed.
“HiMERU-senapi???” Hiiro and Aira gasped.
“You lied to HiMERU, you said no one would know we were here- Wait did HiMERU hear you correctly, marry?” The man glared at Tatsumi, choosing to blame him completely.
“H-HiMERU-senpai what are you doing with Tattsun-senpai? Why are both of you being so secretive?” Aira was growing more and more flustered. Not only did he feel confused and embarrassed in front of his idol senpais, but also for being so comely wrong about the marriage thing in general. It was laughable.
“HiMERU was simply here on business-“ he was cut off.
“So you’re not forcing Tatsumi-senpai to marry you?” Hiiro blinked, confused by the sudden change in understanding.
Tatsumi stepped in to try and clear the air, “Woa woa, I think there’s been a slight misunderstanding, no ones getting married, Although that could be on track for us.” Tatsumi smiled to himself at the last part.
“What.” The three others squaked.
“Oh HiMERU-san don’t act so surprised you’ll make me blush. I mean why else did you think we were at this gorgeous and romantic cafe? Why do you think me and HiMERU-san come here every weekend?” He was playing coy.
“Oh yes, please continue Tatsumi, please tell HiMERU and the others what the answer to this is, because he really can’t figure it out on his own.” HiMERU’s expression turned sour. Hiiro and Aira stepped out of the way.
In Aira’s mind, two puzzle pieces connected together and something clicked. Finally for the first time that day Aira correctly pieced together what was really going on.
“You were on a date...”
“Yes of course. HiMERU and Tatsumi were on a date.” HiMERU calmly and sarcastically said before laughing loudly, almost breaking character. “You are indeed humorous Shiratori, it takes a lot to make HiMERU laugh and you’ve done it marvelously well.”
“Oh well I don’t find it so funny HiMERU-san.” Tatsumi pouted, hands landing on his hips. “I guess all this means nothing to you?”
“Wait you’re serious.” HiMERU’s joyful expression ran cold and confusion took its place.
“Well of course, you think I invited you to this flower garden cafe filled with romance and splendor just to talk about an upcoming joint live between Alkaloid and Crazy:B?” He chuckled to himself like it was the funniest joke ever told.
HiMERU blinked a couple times.
“Yes. Actually that’s all he thought this was for. You’re telling HiMERU… These have been dates?”
“Hey Hiro-kun I think maybe he should leave, I don’t think Tattsun-senpai is in any deep trouble with the secret government, although I’d say he’s in way bigger danger now than he ever was before. And I think this is one we can’t save him from.” Aira whispered over, tugging at the boy's shirt to signal he wanted to escape.
“Agreed, let's leave out the bush so I can grab my shoes too.” Hiiro nodded and the two crept past the bickering adults.
Behind them they heard Tatsumi cry out something about leading him on, and HiMERU sighing disgruntled as their arguing mushed together into angry wordless sounds.
“Let’s not bring this up again.” Aira said, walking through the bush waiting for Hiiro to follow. “I think if we did we’d make Tattsun-senpai cry and I hate seeing adults cry.” He shuttered. “Plus I wanna hurry up and forget about all this.”
“Yeah, let's go find Mayo-senpai and tell him all about it too.” Hiiro laughed, his shoes back on.
“EEK” A voice cried from behind them and out of the rustling of leaves emerged a person. “I-I’m not here!” Mayoi cried, many sticks and twigs sticking out of his already messy hair.
“Oh Mayo-san, there you are. Wanna go grab some ice cream with us?”
“S-sure, but you’ll have to order for me, vanilla cone and extra rainbow sprinkles.” He stuttered out, joining the pair while picking out brambles from his head and outfit.
“Yay ice cream!” Hiiro shouted as he skipped ahead.
Ice cream was the only way Alkaloid knew how to cover up a traumatic day. Aira knew this all too well, he only tried to think about chocolate soft serve as he blocked out the shouting of a marital dispute behind him.