Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kyle didn’t notice anything at first. It was just another morning, he simply happened to feel heavier than usual. And slower, too.

He was walking towards the door while yawning when he saw Cartman materialized himself by the wall. Out of sheer reflex, he punched him, only to knock something else instead. Disoriented, he gazed at the floor to find the back of a dropped frame. A painting, perhaps? Wait, since when did Kyle have one in his room?

Suddenly aware, he looked around. Hold on a minute. This wasn’t his room. This wall color, where were his posters? Where was everything. It was a familiar room for sure, it was Cartman’s right? Why was he in Cartman’s house? What did that fat ass do this time?

Frowning, Kyle turned the frame and almost immediately dropped it on the floor. What the…what? He grabbed it again, observing it cautiously. It was not a painting, it was a mirror. But why was it reflecting Cartman’s face and not his?

Still not quite sure that he wasn’t dreaming, Kyle reached for his cheek, finding it fat and big. In the mirror, Cartman was doing the same. He pinched it hard enough to make it hurt and saw Cartman flinch with pain in the reflection.

No.

No, no, no.

No way, no way, no way.

Kyle looked down and a big belly protruding from underneath a button-up shirt he didn’t even remember having ever worn. He stared at his fat, shaking hands in horror.

He didn’t even realize he started screaming because the voice doing it wasn’t his.

–

“Bubbalah, what’s wrong?!” Sheila came into the bathroom worried over the screaming.

Externally Kyle, internally Cartman, the boy only managed to stammer at the woman.

She saw the broken mirror pieces on the floor. “What did you do, Kyle?!” She moved him to the side. “Your father bought that mirror last month!”

More collected, Cartman opened the mouth that wasn’t his. “I’m sorry, mom. I got jump scared by how ugly I am.”

He was fully expecting to get scolded for that comment, instead Sheila turned to him, face full of concern. “Oh, Kyle, are you having self-image issues again?”

“Um…” Cartman was taken aback by the reaction. “Sure?”

She pulled him into a loving hug, and Cartman’s head was forcibly buried into her bosom. “You’re my handsome little boy, never forget that!”

Besides feeling her tits on his face, Cartman could hardly breathe with that horrible perfume invading his nostrils. He thought to himself, this was the worst thing…

–

…that could have ever happened to him, Kyle thought as he looked at the naked body he was currently stuck in.

God, he was so….fat. He pinched at the excess of flesh in his legs, then his abdomen, even in his shoulders! And what the fuck were those saggy tits? The flabby arms? His double-chin bordering on triple by this point…how could Cartman live like this? He slapped the humongous ass and saw it bounce in real time. Unreal.

His gaze fell on the tighty-whities he was wearing. Curiosity getting the better of him, he held the waistband gently, considering taking a peek before abruptly changing his mind. Wow, was being inside Cartman’s body affecting his intelligence too?

Okay, first things first. If he was stuck in Cartman’s body, for whatever reason, did that mean Cartman was stuck in his too?

He shivered at the notion. That would be…

–

“Fucking disgusting!” Cartman exclaimed at the vegetable omelet on his plate.

“What-What-What?!” Sheila shouted as she came out of the kitchen, and Cartman jolted out of surprise. “What was that, young man?!”

God damn it, he had forgotten how scary this fat bitch could be. As tempting as it was to talk back to her, he didn’t know for how long this would last, so it would be probably better to be on Sheila’s good side until he could assess the situation.

“Sorry, mama,” He apologized in a high-pitched tone. “My mental retardation makes me say things I don’t mean sometimes. It looks amazing.” He cut a piece of the omelet with his fork and shoved it in his mouth, forcing a smile as he chewed.

Not quite convinced, she left for the kitchen. “You better leave that plate empty before you go to school, Kyle.” She said, before disappearing through the door.

“Of course, mama!” Cartman replied before spitting it all on a paper napkin with a gag.

“You shouldn’t lie to your mother, Kyle.” A deeper voice said, and when he raised his eyes, he saw Gerald looking at him with a lowered newspaper. Was he always there?!

“Uh, right…” Cartman nodded stiffly. “Dad.” He added, the unfamiliar word tasting bitter in his lips.

Gerald lifted an eyebrow at him but didn’t say anything and went back to reading. Cartman exhaled heavily. How the fuck did he end in this situation?

–

Kyle stood by the bus stop nervously, the first one to arrive. What the fuck was that fat bitch doing? Why wasn’t he hauling ass in this situation? Oh shit, what if Cartman was taking advantage of the situation to get him grounded for life or something.

Just when Kyle was about to use Cartman’s phone to text himself, someone stood beside him.

“Hey,” His best friend greeted him.

“Oh, hi, Stan!” He smiled at him.

The boy blinked in confusion. “Hi?” He eyed Kyle up and down.

Ah, right. He was in Cartman’s body right now. Cartman was never excited to see his friends. Much less at 7 in the morning. He should probably tell him the situation.

“Listen,” He raised his hands to get Stan’s attention. “Something really crazy happened today, you’re not gonna believe it.”

“I bet.” Stan turned to him in complete disinterest. Okay, not exactly encouraging, but fine.

“This morning I woke up…” He paused for dramatism. “In someone else’s body.”

Stan furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not Cartman,” Kyle continued. “I’m Kyle. We switched bodies somehow.” He chuckled. “I’m in the fat ass’ body now, can you believe it? I mean, it’s not the weirdest thing that’s happened in this town, but still!”

His friend stayed silent, like he was processing the information. Slowly, his eyes widened. There it was. He was probably going to say, ‘Oh, my god!” or something.

“Ha, ha.” Stan said before facing the road again.

Kyle made a double take. “Stan?”

“Very funny, Cartman.” Stan blurted. “Leave Kyle alone already.”

“What? No, Stan, it’s me!” He grabbed the guy by the shoulders. “It’s Kyle! Cartman must be in my body right now. Just ask him if you don’t believe me!”

Stan shoved him away coldly. “I will.”

A bit upset, Kyle went back to his place. It’s not like he could blame Stan for being skeptical, pretending he was possessed by Kyle is totally something Cartman would do. But it did hurt, to be doubted like that.

In the distance, he saw himself heading to them. Well, that was a surreal experience. Did he really look that stupid when he walked? Or was that Cartman’s doing? Wait, it was Cartman, right? If he went inside Cartman’s body, then the logical thing would be for Cartman to go to his.

It was the only possible option.

Yet, a speck of existential dread took him over for a moment when he saw his own body approaching them with an impassive expression.

“Hey, guys!” His real self waved his hand and stood in his place as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

No, that couldn’t be right.

“Tell Stan about what happened.” He ordered his friend with a frown. If there was someone to be blamed for this situation, it should be Cartman.

Cartman, wearing Kyle’s face, blinked. “What?”

Stan intervened. “Cartman is trying to convince me that you guys swapped personalities or something.” He turned to who appeared to be his best friend. “Is that true?”

The fat ass, though he currently wasn’t fat, alternated from looking at Stan to looking at Kyle for a few seconds. “I have no idea what he’s talking about.”

“What?!” Kyle shouted, enraged.

“Knew it.” Stan shrugged. “You’re full of shit, Cartman.” He said, without even sparing him a glance.

“I’m no- he’s lying!” Kyle shakily pointed at Cartman. “He’s fucking lying! Tell him, the truth, asshole!”

“The fuck is your problem, fat ass?!” Cartman retorted, raising an eyebrow. “Did you hit your head when you were sleeping or something?”

“I don’t-” Kyle turned to Kenny, who had arrived at some point during the past minutes. “Kenny, you believe me, right? You know it’s me, right? Kyle?”

Kenny gazed at him for a moment. “No way.” He mumbled.

“What? Seriously?” He looked at Stan. “Stan, you have to believe me, I’m really not-”

The bus arrived when he was mid-speaking, deviating all of their attention.

“It’s too early for this, Cartman.” Stan said before entering the bus.

“Yeah.” Kenny agreed, as he followed.

Kyle turned to Cartman, who flashed him a wink before joining the others.

This motherfucker.

-

Cartman smirked at the window, the moving landscape rolling like a film in front of his eyes. Even though it was his own face, seeing Kyle’s expression when he pretended to be his rival was priceless. Like, worth whatever this hassle was. Yes, he was concerned about what had happened, but he wasn’t going to let that ruin his fun right now. He had an unbelievable opportunity right in front of his eyes. He had to make the most of it.

“I wonder what got into Cartman today…” Stan, sitting next to him, wondered out loud.

“What do you mean?” Cartman nonchalantly asked.

“I mean…he’s always been crazy, but he seemed a little desperate this time…” Stan suggested, not quite concerned, though a little intrigued.

Putting an arm over his shoulder, Cartman dragged his friend closer with a smile. “Are you kidding me? He’s just stupid, that’s it.”

Stan observed him and, for a moment, Cartman was worried he had overdone it. However, it was gone soon and Stan went back to his neutral expression. “You’re right. It’s just Cartman.”

Disregarding how that comment made him feel, Cartman added. “Yeah, we should probably ignore him today.”

Stan’s eyes widened marginally. “You think?”

“Yeah, in case he tries something else.” Cartman snorted. “I don’t wanna deal with him, do you?”

“I guess not.” Stan sighed. “He’s so annoying.”

“Great.” Cartman mumbled sarcastically, although it worked for their conversation. He already knew what his so-called ‘friends’ thought of him, but it didn’t hurt any less hearing it from them.

The rest of the bus ride was pretty quiet, and Cartman had to machinate in which ways he could screw up Kyle’s life for the long term. Stupid Kyle. Thinking he’s so cool for having a dad and a best friend. Dick.

He went to take a leak before classes, having forgotten to do so at home. Now, that was going to be an experience. Peeing with a dick that wasn’t his. Was Kyle also a ginger down there? That would be so funny.

Wait, what if he took pics of Kyle’s wiener and posted them online? Hm, that would be pretty humiliating.

As he reached for the zipper of Kyle’s pants, something sped towards him and pushed him towards the wall.

“Aw!” Cartman screamed, as he grabbed onto his hurt shoulder. “What the-” His eyes saw the individual that attacked him. It was himself, well, not really. “Kyle?”

His nemesis growled, and it looked so weird on his own face. “Why did you lie to Stan and Kenny back there?!”

Oh, that.

“Cartman!”

“I thought it would be funny.” He replied with a shrug.

Kyle’s- well, his own jaw dropped. “What?”

“I didn’t really see a point in telling them, plus,” His lips curled into a grin. “Seeing you act like an idiot was way funnier.”

Rather than showing anger, Kyle went inexpressive. “Cartman.” He called him.

“Huh?”

“Did you plan this?” The eerily serene tone with which Kyle posed the question chilled him to his bones.

“What? No!” He exclaimed. “You think I want to be a jersey, a ginger and a Jew?! This fucking sucks!”

Insulting him always did the trick. “Then why the fuck are you so calm with all this?!” Kyle shouted, in proximity to his face.

“I mean, it can’t be forever.” He replied.

“And how do you know that?!” Kyle asked with a glare.

“Because,” Cartman shrugged. “That’s how it is in this town. Nothing lasts forever. It’s always like…” He waved his hand, looking for the word. “Epidotic.”

“Episodic?”

“Yeah, that.” Cartman said.

Kyle was in deep thought. “Okay, but that could take forever. We need to find out how to fix thi-”

The bell rang, indicating the beginning of classes.

“Well,” Cartman moved away, “Better move.”

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Kyle muttered.

Raising an eyebrow, Cartman replied. “To class, where else?” He glanced at himself. “You wouldn’t want me to ruin your perfect attendance score, would you?”

Bingo. Kyle gritted his teeth in defeat. “You better not do anything stupid.”

“Pff, why would I?” Cartman asked rhetorically before leaving.

Stupid? No.

Not at all.

–

Kyle didn’t trust that fat piece of shit, so just for good measure, he sat next to him during the first period. He kept a close eye on him, not wiling to take any risks and ready to elbow him if he ever tried something stupid.

So it was to his surprise that not only did Cartman respond to the roll call normally, but also kept to himself during most of the class. No provoking interventions, no messing around, not even writing crass stuff on his notebook. Kyle couldn’t say Cartman was actually paying attention, but at the very least he wasn’t trying anything, and that was a lot in itself.

“Mr. Cartman?” Miss Brown, the History teacher, eventually called him.

There it was, Kyle smirked, Cartman was going to get scolded for not listening.

“Mr. Cartman?”

Cartman kept doodling, unbothered. This fucking fat fuck…

“Excuse me, Mr. Cartman?” Miss Brown stood in front of Kyle. “Did you not hear me calling your name?”

Oh, shit. Right. He was Cartman right now. “I, uh, I’m, um, I didn’t think, yeah…it’s just that, I, well…”

His classmates broke into laughter. Kyle felt his not-actually-his cheeks heat up as he looked down in shame.

So much for that.

“You should stop looking at Mr. Broflovski so much if you want to know what’s going on during the class, Mr. Cartman.” His teacher said, and some guys instantly began teasing him, stupid noises and comments included.

“So gay!”

“Whatchu staring at, Cartman?”

When an eraser hit his head, Kyle turned around, enraged. “Who threw that?!”

The boys all pretended to be studying like fucking assholes.

“Mr. Cartman!” Miss Brown shouted, and he turned back, startled. “What did I just say?”

Kyle lowered his head. “I’m sorry…”

There was snickering behind him, but he held back from responding to them. When he heard Cartman do a fake cough, he glared at him. Cartman stared back at him with a grin.

Truly amazing how he suddenly felt like punching his own face.

–

At the end of History class, that bitch Brown pulled a surprise quiz. About the French Revolution or some gay shit like that. Honestly, who cared about the French? They fucking sucked.

Cartman didn’t even have to try to get Kyle a bad grade because he hadn’t studied at all. Instead, with the help of a coin, he decided whether to mark true or false on the questions. He could feel Kyle’s eyes on him, trying to drill holes into his head or something.

“Hey, Cartman!” His voice whispered at him.

“You’re Cartman.” He mouthed silently, his eyes on the sheet.

“Stop being a fucking smart ass!” Kyle insisted. He elbowed him impatiently. “Hey!”

“What?” Cartman turned at him, annoyed.

Kyle glanced at Miss Brown to see if she had noticed them. The woman was helping Scott Malkinson, right by the class door. He returned his attention to Cartman. “Don’t write my name, write your own!”

Cartman narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

“Why? Because you’re fucking stupid, that’s why!” Kyle glanced at their teacher again and then lowered his head. “I studied for this test, and I’m not letting you ruin my record!”

He pretended to give it some thought. “Hm…..no.”

“What do you mean no?!” Kyle was seething.

Imitating his rival’s annoying inflexion, he said, “Respect the rules, Cartman” before going back to his quiz.

“What?” Kyle tried to shake his table. “Cartman, don’t be an asshol-”

“Mr. Cartman!” Miss Brown strode towards Kyle. “Are you trying to cheat from your classmate?”

“What? No, I-”

“No, buts! I will personally supervise you until you finish your quiz!” She stood up next to him.
“Well, what are you waiting for? Continue!”

“Y-Yes, Ma’am.” Kyle stuttered and began marking on his sheet.

Side-eyeing at Kyle’s suffering face, Cartman thought he must’ve won the universal lottery.

–

Kyle found out the worst way that switching bodies meant he had the physical skills of the original owner of the body. He could hardly run in p.e. Not for a lack of trying, though, no. He was particularly good at the 100 meters sprint, but no matter how hard he tried, he ran out of breath after a couple dozens of meters in. His sides hurt, his legs couldn’t even go fast, his heart felt like it was about to explode. He fell on the track, looking at the sky as he tried to steady his breathing. Jesus Christ, why did it feel like he was about to die?

“Jeez, Eric!” Butters stopped next to him, jogging in place. “You don’t look so good.” He was wearing the tiniest shorts in existence and a white sleeveless top.

Wheezing, Kyle rolled on his back. “I don’t feel so good, either.”

“I’d help you, but you’re too fat, so you might break my back…” Butters scratched his neck awkwardly.

“Thanks, Butters.” Kyle mumbled, trying not to focus on the tiny teal shorts the blond was wearing. What kind of 80s movie did this guy come from?

He heard cheering and laughter in the distance. Too lazy to look where it came from, Butters did it for him.

“Kyle is really cool today.” Butters commented. “Wonder if somethin’ good happened to him?”

He grimaced at the mention of his own name. “What?”

Wordlessly, Butters pointed at something outside his field of vision, so Kyle sat up with difficulty to check it out.

Cartman, in his own body, was surrounded by an admiring crowd of girls who, for whatever reason, seemed to find him cool and oh-so-goddamn hilarious, judging by their laughter and the way they were clinging to his arms.

“What the fuck?” Kyle exclaimed. “They never do that!”

“Do what?” Butters asked, confused.

“That!” He signaled at the girls around Cartman. There were even some guys joining in the fun too. “What’s going ON?!”

“Well, Kyle is pretty handsome…” Butters said, and Kyle turned around to look at him. “It’s just his personality that’s off-putting sometimes…”

“Sh-Shut up, Butters!” Kyle shouted before realizing how Cartman-esque that was of him.

Ah, fuck.

–

He couldn’t believe it. Cartman simply couldn’t believe it.

He was hardly holding back, saying the same kind of bullshit he usually did, but everyone actually laughed instead? The girls found him appealing? Suddenly people wanted to listen to him?

“Broflovski, I don’t know what happened to you, but you’re really cool today!” Lucas, the king of their school, friendly punched his shoulder while he was in the line for lunch.

“Haha, thanks…” He replied, smiling shyly. Now that was surprising. Cartman had never interacted with Lucas besides some glances. They belonged to completely different worlds. Lucas was the jock that got all the bitches, and he was, well, he was a misunderstood genius.

“I’m throwing a party at my house this Saturday, you can stop by if you want.” Lucas grinned at him. “Don’t forget the alcohol, though.” Without leaving Cartman a chance to respond, he left for his table, with all the popular jocks and bitches at the school.

Wow. Just wow.

Did he just get invited to a party thrown by one of the most popular dudes in South Park High? Just for being himself? At this rate, he was going to conquer high school by next week.

He could finally become the beloved guy he was always meant to be. Celebrated by men, adored by women, surrounded by the money and fame he deserved. Just a rising star on his shining path. Not a single obstacle in his way.

Well, almost, he noted as his eyes spotted Kyle sitting on an empty table and gesturing him to get closer.

Kyle.

–

Cartman let his (now decreased) weight on the seat. “What?” He asked, as if there was nothing wrong in the world.

How could a single human being be so shameless?

“Don’t give me ‘what’!” Kyle muttered. “We need to find out how to fix this!”

“Jesus,” Cartman rolled his eyes, “I told you it’s eventually gonna fix itself.”

Kyle slammed the table. “I won’t sit and wait until something happens!” He pointed at Cartman, right between the eyes. “And I’m not gonna let you benefit from my life!”

Swatting his hand away, Cartman retorted. “The fuck are you talking about?”

“I know what you’re doing!” Kyle continued. “And I’m not gonna stand by it!”

“Oh, yeah? Then, why don’t you tell me what I’m doing, Kyle?”

“You’re using the fact that you’re in my body to get all the things you can’t have!” Kyle exclaimed.

Cartman almost imperceptibly winced, and Kyle knew he had hit the bullseye. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do!”

“Oh, like you don’t want girls’ attention, too!” Cartman stood up, finally lashing out.

“That’s besides the point!” Kyle stood up as well.

“No, it’s not!” Cartman gritted his teeth, visibly pissed. After a moment glaring at Kyle, he smirked, “You’re just jealous, aren’t you?”

Kyle squinted, feeling the way his body was filling with rage. “What did you say?”

Without replying, Cartman snorted and leaned in, so that his face was very much close to Kyle’s. “I’m not giving it back, you hear me?” He pushed Kyle’s chest lightly. “So you better back off.”

Like that, he began walking away, food tray and all. Not even sparing Kyle a glance.

The latter looked to his side and saw his currently fat fist tightly clenched, shaking. He knew it would be for the best if he didn’t try to call attention to them. Now more than ever. He knew it was best if they stayed on the down low.

It had been years since the last time they physically fought, too. Probably middle school or something. Kyle was over using his fits to resolve things. Especially when it came to Cartman. Even if physically he could overpower him, it felt like a defeat in itself to have to resort to those methods.

But he couldn’t stand watching Cartman be so carefree, so smug, so arrogant. As if the body he was currently using wasn’t borrowed. As if he wasn’t a total fucking impostor in someone else’s skin. As if he was the true Kyle.

Fuck him.

In a flash, he ran behind Cartman and lunged at him, both falling on the floor because of his (Cartman’s) weight, the tray with food falling to the side. He began punching him, trying to ignore how weird it was to aim at your own face. As expected, Cartman’s body lacked physical strength, but he could compensate for it with a surplus of fists.

It was embarrassing to hear himself screaming in terror, but that only meant Cartman was pissing himself as usual. Being in Kyle’s body hadn’t changed that.

He did have to say, though, it hurt. Like, more than usual. Punching Cartman was hurting his fists more than it should, even his arms felt tired already. Just how weak was this fucking fat ass?

“Stop it!” Cartman yapped as he attempted to shove Kyle away from him. “Get off!”

“Fuck you!” Kyle kept pummeling him. “Give me back my fucking body!”

People began surrounding them, though that always happened whenever they fought, so Kyle paid no mind to it.

“Dude, what’s going on?”

“They’re fighting again…”

“Is…Is Cartman kicking Kyle’s ass?”

“Wait. Holy shit, you’re right! He’s absolutely destroying Kyle’s ass!”

“Right?”

Kyle stopped upon hearing the last sentence. He stared at Cartman weeping pathetically under him, face full of snot, and was suddenly struck with how it looked to an outsider. It fucking looked like Cartman was kicking his ass and not the other way round. Like Cartman, the world’s weakest bitch, was wiping the floor with him.

Oh, shit. Shit!

“I always thought Kyle was the stronger one between them…”

“Yeah? Since when can Cartman land a punch?”

“Cartman!” He whispered at his sniveling enemy.

The aforementioned opened his eyes and sniffled. “H-Huh?”

“Quick!” Kyle urged him. “Punch me!”

“Whuh?” Cartman appeared to be disorientated from all the smacks.

“Punch.” Kyle mouthed with urgency. “Me.”

Eyeing at his surroundings and seeing all the people around them, Cartman finally seemed to get it. “Uh…” Clumsily, he lifted his arm. “Take…” He dramatically swung his fist. “This!”

The punch landed on Kyle’s eye. It felt like a breeze, but he had to make do. “Ow! Ow! That hurt!” He rolled off to fall next to him. “Kyle, you’re so strong! I could never beat you! Owww!”

“What’s going on?”

“Seems like Kyle finally hit him back.”

“Oh, the humanity!” Kyle cried out, shutting his eyes to add to the drama. “It hurts so bad! I’m gonna lose my eye!”

“Someone should get help…”

“Yeah!” He shouted, reaching out with his arm. “Please get help! I’m dying!”

He was about to sit up to give the fight an end when he felt a sudden weight on him. Upon opening his eyes, he was met with his own battered face, grinning back at him maniacally. “Oh, no, you won’t!”

Confused, he tried to push Cartman away, but the dickhead was clinging tightly onto him. “Cartman, what the fuck are you doing?” He mumbled between gritted teeth as the crowd made noises of confusion.

“You had your fun…” Cartman started. “Now’s my turn!” He exclaimed before slapping Kyle’s face stupidly.

“Knock-Knock it off!” Kyle winced over the childish attack. “That’s my ear! Aw! Stop it, you fucking moron!” He growled as he turned them back around and the fight resumed.

The crowd was cheering now. They were so mindless. Just wanted to see some violence.

“Noooo!!!” Cartman screamed, trying to protect himself with his arms to no avail. “Stop hitting me!! Myah!!”

Kyle couldn’t really stop himself anymore. Fucking Cartman had asked for it.

–

“What is wrong with you both? Principal Helen, a woman in her mid 40’s, scolded them. “Fighting like a pair of children, you should be ashamed of yourselves!”

Cartman had nothing to be ashamed about, he wasn’t the one that attacked a person like a FUCKING ANIMAL. He merely protected himself. And that was acceptable when he was being physically assaulted, wasn’t it? Wasn’t defending your integrity part of his constitutional rights?

“Well, do you have anything to say?” The old hag continued.

“I’m sorry, Principal Helen…” Kyle started.

“It’s his fault.” Cartman pointed at him. “He’s the one that started. You should punish him, not me.”

“Why you little-”

“Enough!” She stood up, irritated. “It doesn’t matter who started! You both kept it going! I’m gonna have to inform your parents!”

“Oh, no! Please don’t do that!” Kyle started begging. “Mrs. Helen, this is not going to happen again!”

Cartman turned to watch his rival plead. He had conflicting feelings. On one hand, it was incredibly satisfying to see he gave him a black eye. On the other, that was not Kyle’s face, it was his own. It was his face that had those scratches, that bruised lip. It wasn’t Kyle’s.

As Kyle begged pathetically, he seemed to notice Cartman’s eyes on him. “I promise I’ll do any…thi…” He trailed off, as if he had suddenly realized something just from looking at his own face staring him back.

“Mr. Cartman?” The fossil raised an eyebrow.

Kyle returned to earth with a few blinks. “You know what,” He returned his attention to the principal. “I changed my mind.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You can punish me if you want.” Kyle said. “In fact, punish me for the rest of the year, I don’t care.”

Cartman eyes went wide from shock.

“What did you say?” The woman croaked.

“I said fuck you.” Kyle stood up. “And fuck this school, I don’t even care. You can tell my mom if you want.” He raised both middle fingers. “Screw you, I’m going home!” Without any further ado, he turned around and headed for the door.

“Mr. Cartman, come back this instant!”

“No, I’m done!”

The real Cartman got up as well and followed his friend.

“Mr. Broflovski?”

“Uh…” Glancing at Kyle, he only managed to blurt a half-assed “Yeah…” before leaving too.

“Come back right now! Boys!” She kept yelling to no avail.

As Cartman watched Kyle’s running back, he thought…

About how Kyle might just have gotten him into more trouble with school than he had ever gotten on his own.

About how he most likely got the bravery to talk back to the principal only because he wouldn’t be around to face the consequences.

About how angry he should be at Kyle for that.

But mostly…

“Hey, Kyle!” Cartman shouted when they were outside the school.

“What?” Kyle seemed to have gotten tired of running, giving long strides on the pavement instead.

“Wait!” Cartman caught up to him, he wasn’t physically tired, but running was annoying.

His frenemy finally stopped. “Are you gonna threaten me again?” He asked, not even bothering to turn around when he spoke. “‘Cause I don’t care.”

“No…” Cartman caught up to Kyle. He wasn’t out of breath, though mentally he felt like it.

“Then what is it?” Kyle was biting on his bottom lip insistently, his left leg tapping on the ground. He was nervous.

Cartman inhaled deeply. “What you did back there…” He chuckled softly. “It was cool.”

Kyle’s eyes went wide, and even though he was wearing his face, Cartman could definitely recognize him at that moment. He could see it really was Kyle underneath. “You think so?”

“Yeah, dude, are you kidding me?” He snorted. “You flipped her off and everything! ‘Twas fucking awesome!”

After a moment, Kyle cracked a smile. “It felt good, too.”

“Of course it did!” Cartman closed the distance between them to put an arm around Kyle’s shoulder and, for once, the latter didn’t reject the contact. “She was asking for it.”

Kyle shook his head, yet was still smiling. “So this is why you act like this, huh?”

Cartman grinned back. “You like it?”

“‘s not bad…” Kyle’s gaze wandered to the streets. There was a young woman carrying her baby in a stroller a few meters away from them. “Hey, Lady!” He said, walking up to her.

She raised her eyebrows in confusion. “Yeah?”

Without explanation, Kyle shoved her middle finger at her. “Fuck you!” Then, he shoved her middle finger at the baby. “And your ugly baby!”

“What?!”

Chuckling, Kyle left running, and the woman glared at Cartman. Left with no choice, he had to run after the boy to avoid being scolded in his place.

“And you!” Kyle was now talking to an elderly man with a cane. “You’re so old!” He flipped him off as well. “Haha!”

And so he went, disrespecting strangers across the street and laughing like a maniac about it. Cartman couldn’t say he had seen him act this way before, so careless and silly.

So…free.

–

Kyle lied in Cartman’s bed as if it were his own, smiling at the ceiling. Cartman watched him silently, from his desk chair.

“I should kill you for that, you know.” His enemy said.

He lowered his gaze. “For what?”

“For getting me into trouble.” Cartman explained. “Now I’m definitely gonna get suspended or whatever.”

Humming, Kyle stared outside the window. “What if we stay like this for a bit longer?”

Cartman tilted his head to the side. “What?”

“Doing whatever you want…” Kyle looked at the hand that had become his. “Can be pretty fun…” He let his head sink on the pillow. “I don’t have to worry about anything or anyone.”

“Wait, for real?”

“For real.” Kyle answered, eyes closed. “Let’s worry about that later.” He heard a creak from the chair, indicating Cartman had lifted his weight.

“Alright…cool…” Cartman mumbled. “See you on Monday, then?”

“See ya.” He turned to the wall, ready to take an impromptu nap. “Have fun.”

“You too.”

Already getting drowsy, he mumbled, “I will.”

–

Cartman stood in front of the Broflovski household a minute before finally ringing the bell. This was fine, right? Kyle said it was, so he had nothing to worry about.

So why did he feel so anxious about it? Ironically, he had done nothing wrong this time. This was exactly what he wanted. Now, he could go to Lucas’ party and have fun. And he could…

“Kyle?” Gerald was the one to open the door. “Shouldn’t you still be at school?”

Cartman snapped out of his trance. “I-uh…it finished early.”

The man squinted. “You know, Kyle…you’ve been acting really weird since this morning.”

He couldn’t explain it. His breath started hitching, and his heart was galloping and words could no longer come out of his mouth. Was he dying? Was he gonna die?

“Kyle?” Gerald called him in concern.

Cartman shut his eyes instead and hugged him. Slowly, his heart went back to its regular pace and his breathing steadied. Ah, that was better.

“Buddy?” Gerald patted his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

He nodded, burying his head in Gerald’s chest and hugging him tighter.

Concerned, albeit still confused, Gerald wrapped his arms around him. “It’s okay, Kyle…” He said softly. “Whatever it is, it’s gonna be okay…”

The boy chose to ignore the way his eyes were stinging, wanting to believe Gerald’s words instead.

–

When Kyle woke up, it was starting to get dark. Stretching a little, he went to the kitchen to get himself some chips to eat them while watching TV.

This was nice. Just some mindless distraction on a Friday evening, no homework in the distance. Not because there was none, but because he wasn’t planning on doing it. How relaxing.

It could’ve been an hour or two later that Liane came home, frowning instantly the moment she laid eyes on him.

“Eric!” She walked to him. “I got a call from school, were you getting into trouble again?”

“Hi, mom.” Kyle greeted her, still eating the chips. “And yes, yes I was.”

“Wah-” She was taken aback by the admittance. “What happened?”

“I fought with Cart-Kyle.” Kyle corrected himself quickly. “In the cafeteria.”

Her eyes widened. “Why?”

The boy shrugged. “He was pissing me off.” He replied honestly.

She crossed her arms, angered. “That’s not okay, young man.”

“Yes.” Kyle turned off the TV. “I was wrong for that. It resolved nothing between us.”

Liane’s expression softened before turning skeptical. “You mean that?”

Kyle nodded. “Sorry for always giving you trouble, mom. It must be hard.” That wasn’t his apology to give, but he had always felt for the poor woman.

Stunned, she sat next to him in the couch. “Baby…” She said, full of emotion, before pulling him into a hug.

He was confused, though he accepted the affection. “You should punish me.” He mumbled against her shoulder. “For the rest of the year.”

“I won’t do such a thing.” She squeezed him. “I’m just happy you’re growing, Eric…”

Well, that was easy, Kyle thought as he hugged her back. With a mom like that, no wonder Cartman was always getting away with everything.

–

“Kyle…” Gerald tried to walk, but his son’s weight was holding him back. “Let…go…”

“No.” Cartman was hugging him from behind, his face against the man’s back. “I don’t wanna.”

“What’s the matter with you, today?” Gerald was exasperated. “Just let me-” He attempted to pull the hands firmly wrapped around his waist, but Cartman had an iron grip. “Let me-” He dragged his feet across the floor, but Cartman dragged himself with him. “God, okay!” He let his arms drop. “What do you want?”

Cartman thought about for a moment. “I want to…see your study.”

“But you’ve seen it thousands of times! You pass by it every day!”

“Yeah, but, I want you to explain me…things…” Cartman mumbled. Slowly, he let go.

Gerald turned to him. “You want me to talk to you about my job?”

Oh, right, he was a lawyer, wasn’t he? God, that was so fucking boring, but sure. He nodded shyly.

“Wow.” Gerald sounded impressed. “I didn’t think you were getting interested in law, Kyle.”

“J-Just a little…” Cartman muttered. “It’s good for making money, after all…”

“Ha, ha.” Kyle’s father rolled his eyes, though he was clearly amused. “You’re such a smart ass today. Come on, I’ll show you.” He turned on his heels and went upstairs.

Cartman followed soon after, an unknown excitement in his chest.

–

“Sweetie, mommy is too tired to cook. What do you want for dinner?” Liane asked as she put on her coat.

“Uh…” Kyle looked down. “A cheeseburger?”

“Oki doki!” She said, opening the door.

“And uh…a slice of pizza?” He added, pulling from his shirt. He was feeling…pretty hungry. Perhaps from being in the fat ass’ body.

“Alrighty, I can bring a medium pizza for us both to share.”

“Really?” His eyes went wide. His mom would never allow him to eat two different types of junk food in one night. “Then! Then! M-Maybe Chipotle too?”

Liane furrowed her eyebrows in concern. “Sweetie, did you not eat at school?”

“Well…” He averted his gaze. “Not really…because of…the fight…” That was a 100% true, he barely got to touch his meal before he threw down with Cartman. “So I’m…starving…” He mumbled.

“Oh, Eric…okay, just for tonight! I’ll be right, back!” She turned around and stepped outside.

“Wait, wait!” Kyle spoke again. When she met his eyes, he felt embarrassed. “Can I have a couple of donuts as well?”

“Why aren’t you a growing boy!” She smiled. “Alright, Eric! Mommy will be back in the blink of an eye!” She enthusiastically exclaimed and closed the door.

Kyle let himself fall on the couch. Holy shit, he was really going to get all that food. Was this real life?

–

“Now, I don’t know if you know this but here in America we have the Common Law, unlike European countries where they use…”

Gerald was showing him a lot of books and explaining terms Cartman hadn’t even begun to hear about, fully expecting for him to keep up. It was pretty much the most extreme opposite of fun for him, and he felt like he was in a classroom again.

But there was something impressive about being talked to by an older man, without the condescension that characterized his teachers in high school. No, he wasn’t being treated like an annoying child they had to deal with, but like an actual person that deserved the time and patience of someone’s day. He wasn’t used to being treated like a person instead of a nuisance.

And that made him feel respected, like he didn’t have to yell and trash around to get attention. He just had to ask for it.

“Is there anything you didn’t understand?” Gerald inquired, awaking Cartman from his trance.

The boy looked back at him for a moment. “Yeah.” He said. “Where is your porn stash?”

“What?!” Gerald’s eyes went wide in shock.

“Oh, come on, dad…” Cartman rolled his eyes. “Every dad as a porn stash….you should share it with your son.”

“I-I don’t…” The man stammered nervously, glancing from the door to him. “Kyle, what are you…”

Excited, Cartman stretched out his hand, waiting for the goods. In every good coming of age movie, the father taught the son the secrets of becoming a man. Now it was his time.

Gerald moved the hand down with a frown. “Now, Kyle, I don’t know what you’ve been hearing, but your mother and I have a healthy sexual life.”

“Ew…” Cartman turned away in disgust. “I don’t wanna hear about-”

“Whenever I have-” Gerald cleared his throat. “...Urges, she’s the one I go to, not some shoddy website with those skinny shameless ladies.” He glared at Cartman, severe. “And that’s the kind of marriage you should aspire to.”

Cartman was grossed out, but he needed to ask. “So you never jerk off?”

Kyle’s father crossed his arms and laid back on his chair. “Only to pictures of your mother.”

“Agh!” Cartman closed his eyes, shaking his head. He didn’t want to imagine that fat bitch naked. “God damn it!”

“Kyle, language!” Gerald scolded him.

“I’ll just leave!” Cartman declared as he left the study, trying to shake off the horrible images from his head.

“I hope you learned something today, young man!” Gerald exclaimed behind him.

Yeah, learned to never ask this guy shit again, he thought as he ran to Kyle’s room and closed it with a slam.

–

“You’re sure having fun, aren’t you, honey?” Liane asked.

Kyle could only manage a “Mm.” as the took another bite of his burger, then a handful of fries, then half a slice of pizza in one munch. Then, he unwrapped the Chipotle-

“Alright, Eric, slow down.” Liane patted his shoulder. “The food isn’t going anywhere.”

The kid nodded and put the burrito down, focusing on swallowing. Once the food had gone past his throat, he grabbed his soda and slurped noisily. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate this many carbs at once. Never, probably. Sheila had never been a fan of greasy foods and, because of his health, he had to watch his diet anyway. This was a once in a lifetime chance.

Exhaling, he wrapped his fingers around the burrito again. Had he eaten Chipotle before? Sure, but he never thought it was that special. This time, though, he had ordered it with the exact same toppings Cartman got. About time he tested one of Cartman’s favorite garbage foods.

He closed his eyes and took a small bite. It made a loud noise because of the taco shell. He chewed on it slowly, focusing on savoring. On the mixture between the beans and the guacamole, the sour cream and the meat, the salsa and the rice, the corn and the lettuce. Salty, spicy and sour. The combination of different textures: crunchy, soft, pasty, sturdy. All coming together for one single punch of flavor. One single-

“Wow!” He spoke with his mouth full. “This is pretty good!”

“Of course, it is, baby!” Liane replied. “Mommy brought it extra special for you.”

“It’s amazing!” Kyle continued, eating more. It was a pretty odd experience because he was positive that normally he wouldn’t have found the combination so good. Yet, right now, it tasted like the best thing in the world. He wondered if he was adopting Cartman’s standard for being in his body. That would also explain why hasn’t even feeling a little full after such a considerable amount of food.

He kept eating under Liane’s loving stare, who only contented herself with two slices of the pizza she bought. After he finished the chipotle, the burger, the fries and the pizza, he attacked the half a dozen donut box.

“Do we have ice cream?” He asked, glancing at the strawberry frost.

“Yeah, there’s still some Ben & Jerry’s left from last weekend. ” The woman retorted. “Want it?”

“Please!” Kyle pleaded, accidentally dropping some of the donut he was eating on the table. He shoved it back in. “Sorry!”

“Oh, you’re so cute today!” Liane laughed and went to the kitchen.

Kyle wasn’t sure what he did to deserve that, but he smiled over the compliment as he resumed eating.

–

“Kyle!” Sheila knocked on the room’s door. “It’s time for dinner!”

Cartman got up from the bed. He had been texting Stan, who was concerned about the fight from earlier. Namely, for Kyle. In all honesty, Stan was pretty boring. He would much rather text Kenny or Butters instead. But in this body, he wasn’t that close to them. No matter.

When he went down the stairs, the entire family was already sitting at the table, even little Ike, who wasn’t so little anymore. He sat next to the growing Canadian, and eyed at the frankly unappetizing food.

“How was school today, Kyle?” Sheila asked, serving herself a portion of salad.

“Good.” He replied without thinking before remembering his situation. A sly smirk made its away across his face. “Well, actually, today I got into a-”

“Today, I taught Kyle about what it means to be a lawyer.” Gerald interrupted, smiling at Sheila.

“Really?” Sheila stared at Kyle, with big, surprised eyes. “Is that true, Bubbi? You wanna be a lawyer, just like your father?”

“Uh…” Cartman glanced at Gerald and could’ve sworn the guy winked at him, but when he blinked, it was gone. “I…I considered it, yes.” He finally said.

“Wow!” She exclaimed. “We have to celebrate then!” Without preamble, she grabbed a bottle of wine from the counter.

“Wait, Sheila…” Gerald started, a little concerned.

“No, no! I insist!” The woman also grabbed a crystal cup and put both on the table. “This is a special occasion, isn’t it, Kyle?” She looked at who she thought was her child.

Wait, for real? Free alcohol? Just for pretending a little? “Hell yeah, it is- I mean,” He put on his most solemn face. “It is a most joyous ocassion, mother!”

Amused, Sheila unscrewed the bottle and served him wine.

“Can I have some, too?” Ike asked.

“No, Ike, you’re too young!” Sheila gave him a stern look.

“Ah, lame!” He complained and they all laughed.

They toasted and ate, happily chatting all the way through. And even though the food was the total opposite of everything Cartman found delicious, it tasted good. It tasted good eating it like this. Eating in family.

–

“Hey, Mom?” Kyle was washing the dishes and Liane dried them in the kitchen.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“...Can I get some allowance money to go out with my friends tomorrow?” He asked with certain hesitation.

“Sure, baby.” She replied almost instantly, to Kyle’s relief. After what happened today, Sheila would’ve definitely grounded him, and even on a normal Friday, she would’ve asked about his homework first.

“Thanks, mom!” He smiled as he handed her the last dish. “Um, can I play some video games before bed?”

“Okay, but don’t stay up too long.” She kissed his forehead lovingly. “Mommy will be going to sleep soon.”

“I won’t!” He ran to the door. “Thanks, mom!”

“Wait, Eric!” She called him.

He stood in the door frame, turning towards her. “Yeah?”

“Well…despite what you did at school today…” Liane smiled. “I’m proud of you, baby. You’re growing.”

Kyle felt a pang of guilt in his chest. “S-Sure, mom. I’ll be going, then…” Without expecting a reply, he left the kitchen and sat on the living room couch.

It’s not like it was his fault that Cartman was a total asshole to his mother, but he still felt bad that he was accidentally making her believe her son was getting better. Shaking his head, he turned on the TV and tried to stop worrying about it.

–

Cartman was getting ready to get in Kyle’s bed when there was a knock on the door.

“Yeah?” He said, and the door slowly opened, revealing Gerald.

“Kyle, I wanted to talk to you…” The man walked inside.

“Oh…” Cartman scratched the back of his head, averting his gaze awkwardly. “Is it about the fight? I’m sorry, it won’t happen agai-”

“No, no.” Gerald looked up to the ceiling. “God no. I’m not gonna scold you for that. I wanted to tell you I’m proud of you.”

The boy wasn’t sure if he had misheard. “What?”

“Yeah,” Kyle’s father looked to the side. “You’re always so…self-contained. Always trying to be the perfect child. But today, you got into a fight in school for no reason and asked me about porn.” He snorted. “You’re finally turning into a man, Kyle.”

Cartman’s jaw dropped. “Huh?”

“I just wanted to tell you that.” The man came closer to pat his kid’s shoulder. “Keep it up, buddy.” After that, he went back to the door, not before turning his head. “Oh, and Kyle?”

“Y-Yeah?” Cartman stammered, overwhelmed by the approval.

“I love you.” Gerald said before turning off the lights. “Goodnight.”

As much as Cartman wanted to be happy by the encouragement, the encouragement he had always wanted. He couldn’t.

Because it wasn’t really directed at him.

–

“Wake up, Kyle.” He felt someone grasp his shoulder. “Wake up!”

Grumbling, he moved to the side, wanting to sleep a little more.

His name was yelled in his ear. “Kyle!”

“Aah!” He sat up, startled. When he looked to the sides, he saw his own face staring back at him. “Wha…”

Cartman slapped him. “Wake up, already!”

“Ow!” Kyle slapped his face back. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Aye!” Cartman rubbed at the abused cheek. “Asshole!”

“Why are you here?” Kyle grimaced.

“Oh, you mean, in my fucking room?” Cartman retorted and Kyle rolled his eyes. “Anyway, we have a problem?”

“What?” Kyle definitely wasn’t up to deal with Cartman’s shit this early in the morning.

Cartman glared at him for a moment before talking. “When I went to shower this morning, I realized something-”

“You looked at my naked body?” Kyle shrieked, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“Will you fucking shut up and listen?!” Cartman exclaimed. “Also, I already knew you had ginger pubes down there.”

“Aghhh!” Kyle held on to the fat head that was his for the time being.

“That’s not the fucking point!” Cartman lifted the shirt he was wearing. “Look!”

Kyle got closer. There were some black spots on his skin, similar to mold stains, and the skin on that area was unnaturally white. “What the hell is that…”

“I don’t know, but I didn’t have those yesterday. And a few more spots appeared after I showered.” Cartman let the fabric fall back. “This is not some weird allergy you never talked about, right?!”

“No!” Kyle yelled. “I’ve never seen that shit before!”

“Thought so.” Cartman poked at the flat belly from under the shirt. “Also, it feels kinda numb when I touch there. So I thought, what if this has to do with the body switching?” His friend got up. “Strip.” He ordered.

“What?”

“You need to strip, so I can confirm my theory!” Cartman was impatient. “Hurry up”

“I-I’m not gonna strip in front of you!” Kyle shouted.

Cartman’s eyes went wide. “Kyle, that’s my own fucking body! I see it naked every goddamn day!”

“Oh.” Kyle looked down. “Right…” Feeling stupid, he began unbuttoning his pajama shirt.

“Ah, ha!” Cartman pointed at his abdomen. “There!”

Kyle followed where the finger was pointing. He had the same black spots on the belly. When he touched them, he could barely feel his fingers poking. “Shit, what do we do?” He stared at Cartman with worry.

“We need to get back to our bodies.” Cartman’s face was unusually serious. “This must be some kind of allergy because we’re not the right hosts or something.”

“Yeah, but how?!” Kyle asked with exasperation.

“I don’t know, genius, do you have any ideas?!” Cartman asked back. After a pause, he added. “I have one, but I don’t think you’re gonna like it.”

Kyle narrowed his eyes. “What is it?”

Wordlessly, Cartman sat next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, like he was going to announce the passing away of a loved one. “I think we need to fuck.”

“What?!” Kyle screamed, two octaves higher than Cartman’s usual pitch.

“It’s not like I want to do it, alright!” His rival raised his hands in self-defense. “But it’s the most intimate exchange there is, right? If there’s a perfect moment for our souls to switch, it’s there!”

“Get the fuck out of here!” Kyle shoved his hand away.

“I will,” Cartman announced. “When I get my body back.” He moved over his own blanket. “Now take off your pants.”

“Cartman,” Kyle raised a threatening finger. “Take one more step, and I’ll kill you.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” Cartman retorted. “Then whose body would you return to?”

Kyle blinked. That was a good point. “Still, I will kick your a-”

Abruptly, the fat fuck (who wasn’t really fat right now) jumped at him, reaching for his waistband. “Stop fighting it, Kyle!” He said with gritted teeth, while struggling. “It’s the only way!”

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Kyle tried to push his face away, but Cartman was like a really stubborn cat and tried to get his hands inside the pants Kyle was wearing. “I said…don’t touch me!” He yelled, kicking Cartman with one foot.

Cartman rolled back with a whine and fell on the floor. “What the hell is your problem?!” He was displaying the funniest shaped red spot on his face. “That’s not even your own wiener!”

“It is for the time being!” Kyle crossed his arms. “There has to be another way!”

“Okay, Einstein, while you figure it out, I’m going to the bathroom.” Cartman stood up. “I can still smell your foot on my nose.”

The statement made Kyle feel ashamed because he forgot to shower last night. “First of all, you can’t!” He shot back. “And second….it’s your fucking foot!” The boy exclaimed, triumphant.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever…” Cartman gestured without bothering to spare Kyle a glance.

Kyle growled in annoyance as he turned away.

–

It took Cartman about three washes to get rid of that odor. Jesus Christ, Kyle was really wasting no time in becoming human garbage. So much for being a self-righteous bastard.

He couldn’t help staring at the face that didn’t belong to him in the mirror. Wow, even unconsciously he was frowning. It’s like Kyle’s body was naturally inclined towards anger. So funny. He tried smirking a little. Wow, that looked, kind of…

No! No! Did he just think Kyle was sort of good-looking? But it wasn’t Kyle, it was him, it was him inside Kyle. So truly he just thought of himself as handsome, which was normal. He really was handsome. And Kyle was ruining it all, making those bitchy faces in his body.

Determined, he stormed out of the bathroom and went to his room. Kyle was looking outside the window like a lost idiot.

“Well?” He tapped his feet in impatience.

Kyle turned his head towards him. “I have an idea.” He said, unusually impassive.

“You do?” Cartman was surprised.

“Yeah.” Kyle got out of the bed and signaled for Cartman to get closer.

“Well?” Cartman asked, giving firm steps towards his enemy. “What is-” Kyle unexpectedly cupped his face, with utmost seriousness. “K-Kyle?” He called him in confusion.

“This is gonna be weird while staring at my own face.” Kyle said, and Cartman could only see his own visage talking back at him. “But you need to know something.”

Without realizing, Cartman felt the heart inside Kyle’s chest start to leap. “W-What do you mean?” He stammered.

Kyle bit his bottom lip, like he was having a hard time coming up with what to say. Cartman felt his mouth dry as the seconds passed.

“J-Just spit it out, Kyle!” He insisted, nervous by the proximity.

“I like you.” Kyle uttered three impossible words with certain reluctance.

Suddenly, the body switching wasn’t the craziest thing that had happened to Cartman in the past 24 hours. “What?” He only managed to say.

“I l-love you, Cartman.” Kyle spoke, his brows furrowed tightly together into one pained line. “I’m in love with you.” And after saying the craziest shit Cartman had ever heard him say, Kyle let him go.

Feeling light-headed, Cartman attempted to remember gravity existed, in those eternal seconds where everything had turned blurry. Only his own silhouette appeared unaffected by the illusion.

What did Kyle mean he loved him? Since when? What was he talking about? Kyle, in love with him? Was it part of yet another scheme of his? But why? What could he possibly attain from…

“Fuck!” Kyle suddenly cursed, his fist clenched.

“What?” Cartman’s, well, Kyle’s lips, moved on his own since he was barely capable of thinking, let alone speaking.

“I didn’t work.” Kyle glanced to the sides. “I thought that maybe a love confession would do the trick, but I guess, since it was a fake one…”

The admission was like a bucket of cold water on Cartman’s-not-head. “What?”

Kyle’s eyes laid on him, one eyebrow raised. “I said that I thought a love confession would-”

“No.” Cartman cut him off, his breathing quickly increasing. “A fake one? You lied to me just now?”

“Wha- come on, Cartman.” Kyle chuckled nervously. “You didn’t actually think…”

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Cartman yelled. “So sex is too much, but it’s okay to play with people’s feelings? And I’m the asshole?!”

“Cartman, I just wanted to get us out of-”

“Well, couldn’t you warn me before going Oscar Nominee on me?!” Cartman interrupted him, livid.

“But then it wouldn’t have worked…” Kyle tried to excuse himself, stared at the ground. “I’m sorry. “ There seemed to be regret in his stolen face, though not quite enough to Cartman’s liking.

Huffing, he sat on his bed, his back to Kyle. “Who cares, anyway.” He mumbled. “I’m just the fat, annoying, guy nobody loves, right, Kyle?” A bitter laugh came out of his throat.

“No, Cartman, I’m…”

“But I never thought you’d be the kind of guy who-” He stopped in his tracks, realizing dawning on him. “Of course.” He said to himself.

“Cartman?”

“We’re adopting each other’s traits.” Cartman explained, turning to Kyle. “You’re starting to become a dick, and I’m starting to act like a menopausal bitch about it. I’m not usually this sensitive, and you’re not the type of guy who would fake confess to someone.” He got up. “Kyle, this is bad, it’s starting to affect our personalities.”

Kyle appeared to be overwhelmed by the swift turn of events. “But what can we do?”

–

“Alright,” Kyle looked over at the clipboard he was holding. “We have a list of typical ways in which body switches are reversed in movies and stuff. Let’s start with the easiest one.” He stared at Cartman. “Headbutting.”

“Let’s do this.” Cartman rubbed his hands. He was standing on the other side of the room.

“Oh my count, we run towards each other at full speed.” Kyle declared, throwing the clipboard on his bed.

Cartman shook his head, masking nervousness. “Fine, fine.” He clapped to hype himself

“Three,” Kyle started. “Two…”

Cartman got into a running position.

“One….Go!” Kyle exclaimed and they both dashed at each other.

He was considerably less fast than Cartman, due to the body he was in, but not less enthusiastic in any way. When the distance between became less than a meter, he closed his eyes and braced himself for the impact.

“Ow!” He heard himself whine in pain as he fell back. Judging by the thud on the floor, Cartman did too. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes to see himself wince in pain.

“What are you, a rhino?” Cartman bitched, rubbing his forehead. “You could’ve broken my hea- well, your own head, Kyle!”

“It was supposed to be strong enough to trigger the body switching back.” Kyle defended himself. Standing up, he reached for the clipboard to cross out the first line. “At least we know that one doesn’t work.”

“What’s next?” Cartman asked.

–

“Falling down the stairs together, huh?” Cartman said in a shaky voice. “I guess if we don’t switch bodies, at least we’ll die.”

“Don’t be overdramatic.” Kyle elbowed him, staring at the first floor. “It’s just the stairs from your house. It’ll be a few bruises at most.”

“Ugh.” Cartman shuddered, hugging himself. “My sexy, perfect body…”

“Stop that, it’s gross.” Kyle eyed him with disgust. “You’re not even in your own body right now.”

“Yeah, and you clearly have no survival instincts, so of course I’m worried!” Cartman shot back.

“Just shut up.” Kyle said while holding his hand. “God, you’re fucking sweaty.” He grimaced

Typical Kyle, violating his personal space and then insulting him. “And you’re fucking gay.” Cartman defended himself.

“Fuck you.” Kyle spat. “Okay,” He breathed in, looking downstairs. “I’m going to jump.”

“Wait, Kyle-” Cartman started, but it was too late. Kyle threw himself at the void like an animal, dragging the boy with him.

Cartman couldn’t even tell when he started to scream, only that the fall felt like slow motion. Like the last seconds before your death. He was about to die and the last thing he was going to see was Kyle making the stupidest expression using his handsome face. What a disgrace.

“Boys?” His mom’s voice awoke him after God knows how long.

Raising his head, he found the woman staring at them in confusion. At his side, his reflection opening his eyes, disorientated. God damn it.

–

“Okay, this should work for sure!” Cartman grinned psychotically, opening what seemed to be a grimoire.

They were back in his room with curtains closed, a few candles lit up and what seemed like a satanic pentagram drawn in chalk on the floor.

“Are you sure about this?” Kyle asked, not quite confident he wanted to put his fate in Cartman’s hands.

“Pfft, are you seriously?” Cartman stared at him like he was asking something stupid. “It’s just reciting, it’s a piece of cake!”

“Yeah, but if it comes out wrong, it could potentially ruin our lives forev-”

“Save me your yapping, Kyle!” Cartman waved his hand dismissively. “Some of us aren’t chickens!”

“Says the one who pissed his pants over falling down the stairs!”

“Ade due damballa!” Cartman began chanting loudly and gesturing at the ceiling. “Give me the power, I beg of you!”

Kyle rolled his eyes. No need for all this drama.

“Secoise entienne mais pois de morte!” Cartman continued. “Morteisma lieu de vocuier de mieu vochette!”

Wait a minute, why did that spell ring so familiar?

“Endenlieu pour du boisette Damballa!” Cartman was holding out his hands passionately, eyes closed.

“Are you- Are you reciting the spell from Chucky?!” Kyle shouted in disbelief, snatching out the book from Cartman’s lap.

“Duh, it’s the most famous soul-transferring spell there is.” Cartman replied matter-of-factly.

It wasn’t a grimoire, just a notebook full of Cartman’s shitty handwriting. “From a fucking movie, you idiot!” He screeched before throwing it on his face. “You’re so fucking stupid! I can’t believe I trusted you with this!”

“Aye!” Cartman covered his face. “I’m not Harry Butthole Pussy Potter, so I don’t know what you expected!”

“Shut up!” Kyle stood up, furious. “We’re doing this my way!”

–

They were in some hippie bitch’s house and wearing these gay purple robes she made them put on that smelled like the 70s or, worse, the 60s.

But that wasn’t all.

She made them stand in her garage, surrounded by colored candles, and asphyxiating them with these old-hag incense scents.

And that wasn’t all, either!

She was throwing some weird herbs while singing in some absolutely made up language, jumping around them like this was a goddamn fucking party. It was 50 dollars for this. 50 dollars for this middle-aged crazy bitch to pull shit out of her ass and call it a day. What the fuck.

“And I thought I was an idiot.” Cartman mumbled while the insane lady continued her ritual.

“A-At least she knows what she’s doing!” Kyle weakly retorted, though it didn’t seem like even he believed it.

Cartman stared at the wall, impassive. “Should we ditch?”

“...Yes, please.” Kyle pleaded, much to his surprise.

“There’s a window to the outside in her restroom.” Cartman informed. “I saw it earlier when I went to take a shit.”

Kyle glanced at him with concern. “You don’t think we’ll get in trouble?”

He snorted. “Kyle, she’s fucking baked. There’s no way she’ll remember anything after 10 minutes.”

Something about the way Kyle observed him felt different from usual. “I hate you.” He said, although without any of the regular animosity.

“I hate you too?” Cartman replied with confusion.

They held each other’s gazes for a moment before Kyle suddenly turned, pointing at the window behind the woman. “Oh my God! Is that a varied bunting?”

“What?” The lady turned, searching frantically. “Where?!”

“What the hell is a varied-” Cartman began asking before Kyle grabbed his hand and started running towards the restroom, with him in tow.

“Who cares?” His rival whispered rather loudly. “Let’s go!”

It’s not like he was counting, but it was rather unusual for Kyle to hold his hand twice in one day.

–

Standing on the traffic lights, Kyle watched the busy highway with apprehension.

“How come you’re more scared of falling down the stairs than being run over by a car at high speed?” He asked.

“Ha! I’ve been ran over lots of times, Kyle.” Cartman said smugly, observing the passing cars carefully. “It’s all about the timing.”

“What do you mean?”

Cartman turned to him, completely serious. “The difference in whether you live or die all depends on the timing.” He paused meaningfully. “Oh, and also in the way you throw yourself at the car, obviously.”

They stood in silence, well, as silent as a trafficked highway could be. Kyle couldn’t help having an ominous feeling inside him. If he was going to die here, he didn’t want to die with guilt.

“Hey Cartman,” He started reluctantly. “About earlier…”

“It’s this one!” Cartman signaled an oncoming bus that was honking in warning. “Let’s jump at it!” He exclaimed, taking a step forward to get ready.

“Wait!” Without thinking, Kyle grabbed him by the sleeve.

Disconcerted, Cartman stared at him as the bus stopped. “Kyle, you made us miss our chance!” He berated him. “What the hell?!”

Kyle felt embarrassed, though not regretful. His heart was pounding in his throat. “Let’s skip this one?” He attempted to sound collected instead of frightened out of his mind.

His friend only blinked in response.

–

For the rest of the day, they tried several other methods: meditation, laughing gas, trying to summon the aliens to help them, electric shock, even peeing in a mall fountain!

But nothing worked.

Cartman lied on Kyle’s bed in exhaustion. It was getting dark out, and they were still in each other’s bodies. “I guess this is it.”

“What do you mean this it?” Kyle interrogated him, already a nagging tone in his voice.

“I mean, it’s over!” Cartman explained with irritation. “We tried everything, and it didn’t matter…” He lifted the shirt to see Kyle’s tummy. The spots were spreading further up the abdomen. “We’re gonna die.” He eyed at the ceiling. “I’m gonna die a ginger. A Jew ginger.” He rubbed his misty eyes, not even bothering to hide it from Kyle. Could he really be blamed for being upset? This was on his top 5 worse ways to die.

“Cartman…” Kyle called him.

“I know you want to comfort me, but don’t.” Cartman raised his hand. “There’s really no bright side to this, Kyle.”

“I wasn’t gonna-”

“Dying as a minority is one thing, but two?!” Cartman sobbed. “Now people are going to make up all kinds of shit in my death.”

“What?”

“Like I was a transginger or something…” He covered his mouth in horror. “Oh my God, they’re gonna think I was the one behind all your gay speeches!”

“Cartman!” Kyle abruptly yelled his name. After a pause, he added. “There’s still one thing we haven’t tried.”

Sitting up, Cartman raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “And what is that?”

Kyle turned to him. “A kiss.” He declared solemnly, and Cartman could’ve sworn it made an echo in the room.

Cartman opened and closed his mouth several times. “A ki- who’s- wait, you mean us?!” He eventually managed to sputter.

The other nodded. “I think it’s our only chance.”

“But…” Cartman looked down and then back at his friend. “Kisses only work when…the two people…I mean,” He gestured at Kyle. “Do you…?”

Belatedly, Kyle realized what he meant and shook his head. “No!”

“O…kay…” Cartman narrowed his eyes, skeptical. “So, how exactly is this going to work?”

“I don’t know.” Kyle shrugged aggressively. “But we won’t lose anything by trying.” Cartman grimaced in response, so Kyle corrected himself. “Besides our dignities.”

As if they had telepathically agreed on it, they turned their bodies to face the other. Dragging themselves closer, the distance between them was shortened. They gazed at each other in nervous silence, and Cartman could’ve sworn his heart was about to come out of his mouth and start running. He clenched his fists to the sides of not-his legs.

When he raised his head, Kyle, an absolute animal as ever, was already dipping his head, eyes closed and everything. Cartman put a hand between their faces to stop him.

“What?” Kyle asked, shoving the hand away. He was already angry. Again.

“Shouldn’t we get in the mood first?” Cartman suggested, forcing a smile.

–

Kyle crossed his arms as he watched over Cartman. He really didn’t have the patience to deal with his bullshit right now, however, it’s not like he could force him into a kiss. That would make him look desperate. And gay.

“Well, are you going to explain?!”

“Okay, so here’s my idea.” Cartman began, moving his hands as he talked. “Kissing to switch our bodies back would definitely work if we liked each other. Which we don’t.” He emphasized the last sentence.

“Yeah.” Kyle agreed, and Cartman glared at him for some reason.

“So, at the very least, we should try to be genuine about…” Cartman averted his gaze. “Each other…or something…”

This explanation made even less sense. “What the fuck are you saying, Cartman?!” Kyle demanded with frustration.

“I’m saying we should be nice to each other before we do it!” Cartman exclaimed. “Or the closest we can get to it.”

Kyle snorted. “You? Being nice? To me?”

“Alright, douchebag, it was just a suggestion!” Cartman turned away and just from his pose, Kyle could tell he was mildly upset.

He sighed. “I mean, I’m not against it. If it makes things easier for you…”

“Oh, like you’re dying to kiss me yourself.” Cartman mumbled sarcastically.

“I’m saying that if it helps us, it’s good!” Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose, tired. Why was everything so hard with Cartman?

“I was jealous of you.” Cartman suddenly said in a low voice. Before Kyle could recover from the confession, he continued. “I had forgotten about it…until yesterday.”

Saying nothing, Kyle watched his back rise and fall from Cartman’s breathing. It was a different type of breathing, slow and deliberate. Almost calm, even.

“I was jealous that you had a best friend, I was jealous that you had a dad, a little brother that admire you…Even though my mom is infinitely way cooler than yours, I was jealous of your family…of the things you had…of the things you could do…” He paused. “I was…jealous of your life.”

Cartman…jealous of him? Of all people? He was jealous of the jewish kid he loved to make fun of on the daily?

“And I realized…” Cartman cleared his throat. “That I’m never gonna get those things.” He was trying to conceal the sadness in his voice, however, it was apparent enough. “But that’s okay. I mean, not really, but I’ll manage.” He inhaled deeply. “Because I can have them in the future.”

Shocked, Kyle raised his eyes.

“When I grow up, I want to have a family…An even cooler family…” He hesitated. “And I guess I have to change for that…for someone to love me and…to have kids together…” An embarrassed chuckle. “It’s stupid, but I think I really want it.”

Never in his wildest dreams would Kyle have imagined Cartman saying something like that. Something so mundane, so simple. For Cartman to want an ordinary home life. He was amazed.

“And…I guess, I should thank you because I wouldn’t have realized that without…all this.” Cartman gestured at them both. “Without this happening…I wouldn’t have…finally understood. Yeah.”

From a technical standpoint, nothing of what Cartman had just said constituted ‘as being nice’ to Kyle. Nevertheless, to say Kyle was happy would be an understatement. He was ecstatic, euphoric. Not only Cartman had admitted he needed to change, he desired to. He wanted to become better. And it was all thanks to Kyle. It was all thanks to him.

Kyle knew it. He knew he couldn’t give up on Cartman. He knew Cartman had potential to be better deep inside him. He had known it all along and now, here it was, the tangible proof, so many years later. It was finally here. Kyle could almost cry from the self achievement.

“I think that’s s amazing, Cartman.” He declared, attempting to control the emotion in his voice. “I’m proud of you.”

“Don’t give me that condescending bullshit, Kyle.” Cartman retorted, already miffed.

“No!” Kyle denied adamantly. “I’m not, I mean it. It’s great, I…” He put a hand on Cartman’s shoulder. “I want to help you.”

“What?” His friend grimaced at the touch, turning his body towards Kyle.

Kyle felt bashful that his enthusiasm got the better of him, so he pulled back. “All this time…” He started explaining. “All this time I’ve been wanting to hear you say these exact words. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, Cartman!

“Really?” Cartman appeared to be unconvinced.

“Really!” Kyle nodded. “I’ll do anything in my power to help you! That’s what friends are for, right?” In the extasis of the moment, he held Cartman’s hands between his, smiling at him.

–

Three times.

That was three times Kyle held his hand out of his own volition in one day.

And his eyes were sparkling so hard. Cartman was pretty sure he had never seen Kyle’s eyes so full of life as they were at that moment. Well, technically it was his own eyes but, at that moment, Cartman could see him.

He could see Kyle under his face.

And he didn’t dislike it.

Wait a minute, weren’t their faces super close right now? Was this the moment?

Well, it was going to be like kissing his reflection, so whatever.

His rival totally thought the same because his eyelids slowly began closing. Unbeknownst to Cartman, the heart that didn’t belong to him was hammering.

Ah, what the hell.

Shutting his eyes, he stopped questioning what was going on and decided to get it over it. He leaned in and…

The sound of faint bells. Several of them. He assumed to be imagining things, until the noise grew stronger and louder, like they were about to swallow him.

His eyes flew open and there were nothing but golden sparkles around him, surrounding him, blinding him. He was frozen in place, contemplating them as they slowly faded away. And when they were gone, all that was left was Kyle’s stupefied staring back at him. God, he looked so dumb.

Wait…

“It…worked?” Kyle, finally with his face, with his voice, asked.

Cartman stared at his hands. They were really his. Pink and soft like ever. “No way…”

“But why?” Kyle, of course, began questioning it. “We didn’t even…”

Their eyes met, as it dawned on them how close they were too kissing. With an embarrassed chuckle, Cartman moved away. “Well, thank God, right?”

Kyle made the fakest coughing noise ever. “Ha, yeah…” After a pause, he peeked at Cartman. “Unless you…”

His head whipping towards Kyle, Cartman’s “What?!” came out as a shriek.

“What?” Kyle blurted as he looked away.

Cartman would’ve made fun of him, called him a big homo or something, but the way he was feeling his face heat up was nothing to be proud of. Still less gay than Kyle trying to still make that kiss happen, though.

“We should make sure.” Cartman mumbled. He felt Kyle’s eyes on him, but heard nothing in response. Clearing his throat, he elaborated. “Like, what if we switch back randomly b-because we didn’t do it right?”

“Oh…” was the only thing Kyle managed to vocalize, and Cartman felt stupid.

“I mean, I don’t know…” He tried to save himself. “Maybe it doesn’t matter?”

“No, I agree.” Kyle sat straight. “We have to make sure it’s not magically reverted out of nowhere. Yeah.” He nodded to himself. “It’s only logical.”

“Yeah?” Cartman turned to him, still unsure. “You think so?”

“Definitely.” Kyle tried to seem confident, and for once, Cartman didn’t want to poke fun at him.

“So, it’s not gay?” He asked.

“It isn’t…” Kyle gave him an apologetic stare. “It’s not like we have a choice, right?”

“Totally…” Cartman forced a laugh. Out of curiosity, he gazed at Kyle’s lips. “We…just…” He suddenly forgot what he wanted to say, “Uh, yeah…”

“Uh-uh…” Kyle agreed, checking Cartman’s lips as well.

As if tacitly agreed, they started bringing their faces closer to each other. Ok, this was different, this time he was looking at Kyle’s face. And feeling his breath on him, and…

“Should we…?” Cartman awkwardly tried to find a good angle.

“Let’s just…” Kyle held Cartman by the shoulders to keep him still, his eyelids already closing halfway there. Cartman didn’t even manage to fully close his when he felt it.

Kyle’s actual lips against his.

It was a light press, yet something felt so intense about it. Like, not physically, no, it was the way Kyle was kissing with him. Cartman thought it would be a short peck at most, but Kyle wasn’t pulling away. And, most importantly, he wasn’t letting go of Cartman either. He wasn’t really sure what was going on with him because he found himself parting his lips slightly in anticipation.

–

Kyle assumed that if they were going to kiss, then they might as well make it worth it. They had to thoroughly ensure their bodies didn’t switch ever again, so it didn’t make sense to rush the kiss. It’s not like they were going to do this again. Probably. Wait, what?

His thoughts were interrupted by Cartman opening his mouth wider against his, and something inside Kyle began swirling. An unknown buzz he had never experienced in his life. As if fearing to fall over, he held tighter onto Cartman’s shoulders, his lips parting as well. Even if his brain was all over the place, he comforted himself with the fact that getting into it should help them achieve their goal.

–

When Kyle reciprocated with such fervor, Cartman began feeling light-headed, so he had to break it off. Not because he wanted to, well it’s not like he didn’t want to, either. He didn’t care. Obviously. He just wanted to breathe, and it was hard to do it with Kyle eating his face.

As Cartman took in air, he noticed the way the pressure on his shoulders slowly disappeared and, strangely, it made him feel empty.

“That should take care of it…” He said to break the uncomfortable silence.

When he gathered the courage to finally look at Kyle, he saw him with the goofiest expression on his face. Totally spaced out.

“Kyle?”

“Uh,” The guy snapped out of it with a head shake. “Yeah! You’re right. We should be safe now.”

Cartman checked the time on his phone. Almost 8 pm. If he was still in Kyle’s body, he would be getting ready for Lucas’ party. He sighed sadly. “Guess I’m back to being the guy everybody hates.” Ready to go home, he stood up.

“Cartman, wait!”

He stopped in his tracks. “What?”

–

“There’s something I didn’t say earlier…” Kyle averted his gaze. “You’re not the only one that learned something with this.”

“Huh?”

“I…I had a lot of fun being you.” He admitted with a shy smile. “Despite how much we argue every day, I was so easily swept in when I was in your shoes.” In deep thought, Kyle frowned. “Acting like a jerk, having things go your way, being spoiled…they’re all things I wish I could do more.”

Kyle peeked at Cartman’s face and wondered if the same expression he was seeing was the one he made earlier. He chuckled softly at the thought.

“I guess, in a way, I was jealous of you too. Of how easy your life seemed to be, because you always did what you wanted…” Kyle shook his head sadly. “But I was wrong.”

Cartman’s eyes went wide from surprise.

“It’s already so hard, always trying to be good every day.” Kyle continued. “But it’s even harder when everybody’s already expecting the worst of you. It makes you not wanna try at all.” He exhaled. “And it makes you feel alone.”

His friend seemed to want to say something. “I don’t…”

“But I’m not letting that happen to you.” He closed his fist and stood up. “I don’t care if it’s your fault or not, I don’t want you to feel alone, it sucks.”

A flash of emotion showed in Cartman’s expression, though it was quickly replaced by his usual apathy. “Okay…” He said, as if he found the whole thing embarrassing and not touching whatsoever. “I’m going home now.” Without expecting a response, he headed towards the door.

–

“Stay.” Cartman heard Kyle behind him. “We can have dinner with my family and then maybe play a gam-”

“I don’t want your pity, Kyle.” Cartman replied bitterly. “I’m just going home.”

There was a rustling noise. “Then I’m coming with you.”

“What?” He glared at Kyle.

“Yeah.” Kyle stood next to him. “I’m staying over.” He affirmed.

“Wha-Nuh-No, you’re not?!” Cartman stammered with indignation.

“Yes, I am, let’s go.” Kyle tried to grab his hand again, but Cartman swatted it away angrily.

“Quit it, Kyle! I’m not a walking charity cause!”

Kyle wasn’t even fazed. “It’s not that.” He took a step closer, and Cartman had to fight the instinctual impulse to back away. “That’s what friends do.” He grabbed Cartman’s hand successfully this time.

“Alright, God!” Cartman didn’t feel like fighting him, even less when they were this close. It was reminding him of what had just happened. “But let me go.”

“No.”

“Why the fuck not?!” Cartman shouted, shaking his arm.

“Because then you’ll run away.” Kyle stated coolly.

Fuck. Touché. Cartman rolled his eyes in self admittance.

“Shall we go, then?” Kyle insisted. How did he become even more annoying?

“God damn it!” Cartman began walking, with Kyle refusing to let go of his hand. Thankfully, his house was empty at the moment, so they didn’t have to deal with weird questions. It was actually pretty quiet until they got outside.

“Oh, and Cartman?” Kyle spoke again.

“Hmm.” Cartman kept his eyes on the street. Silence. After a few irritating seconds, he turned to Kyle. “What?!”

Kyle was giggling to himself. “Nothing.”

Huffing, Cartman turned his head back to the pavement. The annoyance inside him slowly transformed into gratitude. Gratitude for Kyle. Not that he’d ever let him know.

At least not for now, he thought, as he glanced at Kyle with a smile.