Chapter Text
The minute the door closed behind his dad, Steve broke down. He had a fake smile plastered on as he waved goodbye to him, standing in the middle of the living room as he carried the last of his boxes out of the house and shut it behind him.
His parents had been home for the weekend to pack up the rest of their stuff to move to their new homes… far from Hawkins… and far from Steve. He didn’t care, ever since the divorce (and honestly even before) they’d only made his life hell… Well, maybe he did care. He couldn't tell.
He felt frozen to the spot. His hands curled into fists at his sides and his breathing picked up. He knew his face was twisting but he could do nothing to stop it. He grimaced as he felt the first tear escape and he angrily wiped it away and began pacing. His jaw clenched but a heart wrenching sob was ripped from his mouth and he fell heavily against the nearest wall.
He took his arms off the wall to wrap around himself which sent him tumbling to his knees, forehead resting on the wall as he curled into himself and his body was racked with sobs. He cried so hard he screamed and everytime he thought it would end he would remember what his dad said and he had to hold himself tighter just in case he broke apart.
He heard his dad's voice in his head, saw flashes of his mom's face until he was hyperventilating. He gasped to try to get in more air but was cut off by another sob. His hands found their way into his hair and he tugged, hard enough to hurt… hard enough that he screamed again. He kept screaming broken sounds long after his hands returned to being wrapped around himself, long enough to choke.
He tried to breathe but his throat was so sore and dry from the screaming that he couldn’t. His breath got caught in his throat and suddenly his stomach turned, the strength of his sobs making him nauseous. He doubted he could walk, doubted he’d make it through the night, he wanted to disappear, melt into the floor and never be found.
He settled for grabbing the closest thing to him which ended up being a blanket and curled into the fetal position on his side, at least this way he wouldn't actually die from choking on his own vomit or tears as he let himself waste away.
xxxx
“Your carriage awaits m’lady,” Eddie gracefully shouted to Robin as he pulled into the Family Video parking lot.
“Why thank you kind sir,” Robin bowed before sticking her tongue out and skipping around to the passengers side of the car, “I’m not going to lie I thought your car would be a lot… messier.”
“Au contraire my fair maiden, I took Steve to the drive-in the other day and he made me promise to clean it up before he got in… usually there are a lot more empty cans and guitar picks thrown around.”
“That makes a lot more sense. Speaking of the devil, have you talked to Steve at all today?” Robin worried her lip between her teeth and fidgeted with her rings.
“He called me this morning but had to hang up when his mom got there. He didn’t sound happy to see her,” He grimaced, remembering the panicked edge Steve’s voice adopted when the doorbell rang to announce his mothers arrival.
“I don’t blame him honestly, they’re both assholes. Well, his dad is pretty chill, it's his mom that's really the issue,” Robin had graduated to playing with her hair and bouncing her foot.
“He hasn’t really told me much about their relationship other than the fact that they’re never around and they piss him off.”
“It’s… complicated,” she sighed, “he doesn't like to talk about it much.”
“How do you know so much about it then?”
“The last time they visited, it must have been a year or two ago, fucked him up hard. It was the trip they told them that they had separated, they still both stayed in the house since there was enough space for them all to have separate rooms but… the tensions were high to say the least. When they left he called and asked me to come over. So I did. I rode my bike and found him in the backyard on his back on the grass.” She looked out the window so she didn’t have to look at Eddie when she said it.
“He was high, the highest I’ve seen him. Was drunk too. I still have no idea how he was able to get so fucked up in the 10 minutes it took me to bike there but he couldn’t stand for hours. He didn’t cry, just looked so broken. I uhh- I sat down next to him on the grass and he just started to talk. Told me about being raised and what they were like. How their relationship got fucked up and all the shitty stuff they’d done to each other over the years. You know, just shit like that. Did you know they started to leave him alone in that house when he was 6? Said he was old enough to reach the stove and work the oven so he should be fine.” The car was silent for a while, the only thing to be heard was the tires on the pavement.
“Half of him wants to hate her, half of him wants to love her, and both sides of himself are mad at the other… at least that's how he explained it to me. Don’t uhhh- please don’t tell him I told you,” she finally turned around to look at Eddie and even though he was looking at the road to drive, she could tell that he understood the weight of her words.
“I won't… I promise,” was the whispered response she got back. His voice broke at the end of the sentence but it was so quiet he doubted she noticed (...she did).
The rest of the drive to Robins was silent as Eddie processed what he had just been told and Robin continued to fidget in the passenger's seat, “Good luck tonight,” Eddie offered as she climbed out of the car.
“Thank’s… I might swing by Nancy's later so she can help me pick out an outfit. Do you think a wedding dress is too big a statement for the first date?” she joked to lighten the mood.
“Don’t worry she’ll love you.”
Robin smiled gratefully, “hey uhh thanks for picking me up, you’re a pretty good Steve stand-in… take care of him tonight please?”
“Of course… through sickness and in health right?” he winked, wiggling the friendship ring on his finger that all three of them had.
“Oh hey before I go, the bucket is under the kitchen sink, Advil in his medicine cabinet, cups in the cabinet next to the sink, extra towels and bed things are in the hall closet across from his room, trust me I found out the hard way.” And with that she was spinning away towards the door.
Eddie sat in her driveway for a minute to collect himself for what he was about to stumble into before driving to Steve’s parents house… well it’s really Steve’s house now that they're gone.
xxxx
The first sign that something was off was the unlocked front door. Well, maybe the first sign was multiple calls that Steve did not pick up. Eddie figured… hoped he was just sleeping but he knew after everything they’d been through, Steve would never sleep with the door unlocked.
“Steve?” Eddie called into the house. It was pitch black, cold, and empty. All of the decorations that had made it so homey were gone, the furniture remained but without the rest of the ensemble, it made the room feel bare.
Steve heard Eddie call his name but didn’t have the energy to say anything, let alone get up. He watched as Eddie slid inside and locked the door behind him, cursing as he tripped trying to find the light switch. When he did find it, the scene it illuminated was not better than the pitch black hole that was there moments before.
Steve was curled into a ball in the corner of the room, tears still slowly leaking out of his eyes, face puffy and wreaked. Eddie could still see the tremors running through his body but whether they were from emotion or the cold he didn’t know.
“Oh Steve,” Eddie breathed as he made his way over, crouching down in front of the man. He laid a hand on his back and he didn’t respond, just laid there staring at Eddie’s eyes.
‘Eddie has pretty eyes,’ Steve thought to himself, somehow that thought made him cry harder. His emotions on a hairpin trigger, he felt as though anything can and would send him into another fit.
The lights that were turned on were blaring at him and causing shooting pains to stab through his head. He was so done, he couldn’t care less that Eddie was witnessing him in this state, it didn’t even register how much pain his head was in. He felt numb.
“Let's get you somewhere more comfortable, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured as he reached down and picked Steve up, noting how light he had become since his parents called to tell him they were coming into town a week prior. Steve grunted as he was moved but did nothing to stop Eddie, his hands becoming entwined in his t-shirt as he leant his head into his neck. Eddie felt Steve’s continual tears run down his neck onto his collarbone until they soaked into his t-shirt.
Slowly, they made it upstairs into Steve’s room and Eddie cradled him in his arms as he plopped down onto Steve’s bed, still holding him like a baby. They shifted so they were both comfortable, Eddie kicked his shoes off and while Stve had sat up momentarily to pull the covers up, he took his belt off so the buckle wouldn't hurt Steve to lay on. Steve wordlessly covered them both up and buried his face in Eddie’s chest.
Eddie could hear Steve’s breath panting out of his open mouth, nose too clogged from the crying. When Steve’s breath hitched again, Eddie instinctively reached up and began to run his hand through Steve’s hair in an attempt to soothe him, “shhh Steve, let it out, it’s okay.”
Steve let out a huge sigh and while he didn’t make any noise, Eddie could feel the tears pick up in volume and hear Steve’s breathing rate increase.
Steve had thought Eddie might good naturedly knock him in the arm and nonchalantly offer him a beer or something stronger when he found him crumpled on the ground, something to distract him hopefully. He didn’t expect Eddie to take care of him.
Never would he have thought he would be cradled in the metalhead’s arms in his bed, clutching him like he was the only thing holding him together all whilst involuntarily crying. He couldn’t have done anything to stop him if he wanted, but… it really felt good to be taken care of. He didn’t have to turn to alcohol or weed to get through the night. He had Eddie.
With the blanket pulled over them and his face snuggled into Eddie’s chest, he began to drift off to the feeling of Eddie’s hand in his hair. Eventually his tears came to an end with a shuddering sigh and a full body shiver, one that had him clenching at Eddie’s sides to hold him together. But Eddie took it all in stride and merely tightened his hold on him and continued to whisper to Steve in hushed tones.
The last thing Steve heard before he finally fell asleep was Eddie’s sleepy voice, “Sleep darling, I’ll be here when you wake up… I promise,” he pressed a light kiss to the side of Steve’s head, “I won’t leave you.”
xxxx
Steve awoke to a pounding in his head, unable to sleep because of the pain. He felt groggy and drained, his limbs felt partially numb like they didn’t belong to him anymore. It took him a minute to remember what happened.
Flashes came back to him, his parents showing up, them leaving, him crumbling, Eddie… Steve shifted back slightly and picked his head up, only to be confronted by the one and only Eddie Munson, asleep below him. His arm was still slung around Steve’s shoulders from where he laid on his back, Steve curled into his right side like a kitten.
Steve let out a breath and slowly retreated his body from Eddie’s, he quietly got up from the bed so as to not wake him. He stumbled around the dark room until he found the light switch for the ensuite bathroom and quickly closed the door behind him. He assumed it was probably like 3 in the morning given how dark it still was outside.
Thankfully he had left his bottle of pain relievers on the counter from when he scrambled to take them when he heard his mom ring the doorbell earlier that weekend, already anticipating the headache. He threw back two pills with some water from the faucet and grabbed 2 more for the nightstand just in case.
When he flipped the light switch off, the room was immediately blanketed in darkness, darker than before. He froze in the doorway. He couldn't see anything, the darkness was suffocating. It pressed into his chest until he felt it concaving in, not able to get a breath in. He heard the pills in his hand hit the ground as his hands scrambled at the wall for the light switch. He was shaking, groping blindly at the wall, feet away from the switch, in panic.
“Shit shit shit,” he cursed as he gave up hope on finding the light switch and slowly sunk down the wall. He fell into the fetal position, knees to chest as he tried to catch his breath.
“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” he tried to calm down but he couldn’t, he felt the darkness encroach further into his space, pushing him against the wall until he felt pinned, “...can’t. Please. Please. Please make it stop,” he pleaded.
He pounded his fists on the ground, trying to make it stop, trying to stop the fear that had embedded itself deep into his bones since the first time he stepped foot in the upside down.
“No no no no,” his hands came up and grabbed at his hair, alternating between pulling and pounding his fists against his scalp. He was crying and hyperventilating now, unable to catch his breath.
“Steve?” Eddie shot up out of the bed and tried to identify where the sounds were coming from.
“No no STOP!” Steve screamed as he heard footsteps approach him, he flattened his back against the wall and used his legs to try and fight off his attacker.
Eddie caught Steve’s flailing legs and pinned them to the ground with his own, “Steve, it’s me, Eddie. You’re okay. You’re safe.”
Eddie grabbed Steve hands that had made themselves at home back in his hair, pulling so hard that when Eddie finally coaxed them free, Steve had loose hairs tangled between his fingers.
Steve felt something kneel on him and thought he was a goner, he screamed something from the bottom of his soul right before his hands were being ripped away from his head and he caught the smell of something familiar, “Eddie?” he finally was able to choke out.
“Yes, it’s me. I promise you’re safe.” Eddie insisted, still with Steve’s hands pinned to the wall even though his body had stilled.
“Light, turn the light on please ,” was all he could manage, his voice already breaking on the last word.
Eddie immediately reached up and located the switch, bathing the room in a yellow glow. When Eddie looked down Steve had taken his hands back and was just staring at them. He looked up at Eddie with a broken expression on his face, almost pleading. Eddie sunk back down onto his knees, no longer kneeling on Steve's legs and took his hands in his own.
Eddie carefully cleared Steve’s hands of hair and let the strands fall unceremoniously next to them on the floor. When he was done he brought a hand up to Steve’s face and wiped away the old tear tracks, watching as new tears continued to fall.
“Too dark”
Eddie cocked his head to the side, “okay, we can keep the lights on. Do you want me to turn on the other lights in the house?” he motioned towards the door.
Steve was silent for a while before whispering, “I’m sorry,” in a voice so small Eddie wouldn’t have believed it was Steve’s if he did not just watch Steve say it.
“Why are you sorry? There is nothing to be sorry about,” he cupped his hands on either side of Steve’s face as he said it and Steve closed his eyes and leaned into his hands.
“I-” his face scrunched up like he was trying to stop himself from crying harder, “I’m sorry,” was the only thing he could get out. He let his face relax as he looked into Eddie’s eyes, unabashedly crying between his hands.
Eddie let him cry until his sobs had subsided and he was just sitting there taking shaky breaths. Eddie removed one hand from Steve’s face and used it to guide one of Steve’s to his chest so Steve could feel his breathing. He removed his other hand and used it to grab Steve’s other hand and move it to Steve’s own chest, “breathe with me,” he instructed.
Eddie took a big deep breath and watched as Steve tried to copy him. Eddie exhaled and Steve did too, ending in a big yawn. Eddie kept breathing exaggeratedly until Steve could breathe on his own without it hitching or shaking. Once he was satisfied with the state of Steve, he moved to get up, “come on, let’s get you into bed okay?”
Eddie extended a hand to Steve instead of carrying him this time and Steve gratefully grasped a hold of it to haul himself up. It was more awkward getting into bed this time, Steve wasn’t already nestled into Eddie’s arms so he really had no idea how to go about his. Eddie watched Steve’s hesitancy and ran his hand down his back in a soothing manner, “Why don’t you get settled and I’ll go deal with the lights okay? I can grab us a snack while I’m down there if you want.”
Steve mutely nodded and tried to flash Eddie a smile that just ended up in a grimace. While Eddie went off in search of food and light switches, Steve took his time to actually get comfortable. He took off his jeans and replaced his boxers with looser fitting ones that felt better to sleep in, he took his socks off and replaced his sweat soaked shirt with a clean one. He even got Eddie out a pair of clothes to sleep in if he wanted before getting into the bed and curling up on his side so he was facing the door.
When Eddie returned he found Steve lying curled up under the blankets so that only his face was poking out. He tossed 3 packs of fruit snacks onto the bed by where he assumed his stomach was and made his way around to the other side of the bed. He tossed his fruit snacks on the bed and put both of the gatorade bottles, that he found shoved in the fridge downstairs, on the dresser before he eyed the clothes neatly folded on his side.
He spotted Steve’s jeans haphazardly strewn against the floor and assumed he got them out for him after he changed, “thank you,” he whispered so he didn’t disturb Steve too much.
Steve flipped over when he heard Eddie and shot him a small smile before grabbing a pack of fruit snacks and pointedly raising his eyebrow before turning his back to Eddie as if to say, “well hurry up then.”
Eddie quickly changed into the t-shirt and basketball shorts that fit him surprisingly well, if not hung a little loose. He flopped back onto the bed and Steve settled on the pillows next to him. Steve grabbed the TV remote that was conveniently placed on the nightstand next to the bed and put the volume on low so the room wasn’t as quiet but he could still sleep if he was able.
Eddie silently handed Steve a gatorade after his second fruit snack and watched as he downed half of it before coming back up for air.
Eventually after the snacks were eaten and drinks were drunk, right as the first signs of light were coming over the horizon, Steve finally felt the pricklings of sleep grab at his brain. His head began to bob as he nodded off and Eddie guided his body to lay down half on top of his. Steve went willingly, too exhausted to examine what was happening. The only thing he knew was that Eddie smelt nice and he was comfortable so Steve finally let himself drift off.