Archive of Our Own

"I heard you scream. Nightmares again?" 

Tommy stood barefoot in the entrance of the dark ravine, his bulky sleeping clothes hanging off his lanky frame. His blonde hair was illuminated by the soft white light of the moon, painting a picture of gentleness the boy didn't usually have. 

During that moment, Tommy seemed older than he ever had before. Not like the teenager Wilbur knew him to be. All he could see at that moment was his right-hand-man. His vice president in all but official title. 

It was tempting to tell the boy everything then. To give into the illusion that the boy could be relied on. Trusted even. 

"Go back to sleep Tommy." Wilbur said instead. 

It wasn't as if Wilbur didn't want him to stay. But it was...easier this way. 

There were some things that even Tommy shouldn't have to bear. Not when his load of responsibilities were already weighing down the boy’s shoulders. Tommy had already dealt with rebellions, politics and wars recently. 

Wilbur couldn't add something as pointless as nightmares to that list.

Especially when Tommy was struggling with bad dreams himself. 

Sometimes the teenager acted as if he didn't have them. But Wilbur heard his mumbles at night. Saw the way he tossed and turned and called out for help. How he reached his hands up for somebody to save him. How his soulmate’s haunted screams sometimes mirrored his own down the hall of the ravine. 

That’s the bad thing about soulmates. While you shared good dreams with each other, you also had to share nightmares. 

Wilbur always pretended he didn’t notice when he saw Tubbo sneak into Tommy’s room after a specially bad bout. It’s good Tommy had a soulmate that cared about him enough to visit after their dreams. 

Wilbur just tried to ignore the bitterness that his soulmate wasn’t there to do the same.  

Everyone was struggling at Pogtopia nowadays. Especially when the shadow of Schlatt stretched to every nook and corner. 

Wilbur wasn't going to make those struggles worse. 

He wasn't that selfish. 

"We can go down to the kitchen. Have a cuppa?" Tommy asked softly. He was speaking in a tone he usually reserved only for animals. A soft lilt that promised safety. Wilbur had heard it many times throughout their lives. Tommy had a soft spot for all creatures, even when he was a child. 

Usually, Wilbur didn't mind it. But now his heart burned hot at the thought. 

Pity was the last thing he wanted right now. 

"Tommy, please, go back to sleep. I'm fine." Wilbur insisted. 

"Are you positive? I can stay out here if you'd like-" 

"Tommy." 

Confliction rose in the boy's eyes. He bit his lip as if he wanted to say something but couldn't. He rose his hand, but then after a few seconds, it dropped limply at his side. The boy took a step back and nodded. 

"Okay, but you know where to find me if you need me, yeah?" 

"Yeah." Wilbur affirmed. The teenager paused.  He ran his hand through his hair, looking at the entrance of the ravine and then back to Wilbur. Then like that, Tommy was gone, and it was just Wilbur, the crickets and the moon. 

All the company he needed. 

Well, maybe not needed. But it was what he was going to get. 

For a second, pink hair flashed in his mind. Along with a sword, red eyes, and a tilted grin. 

For a second, Wilbur thought about his soulmate. 

But that second passed. 

He was already bothering his soulmate enough with his nightmares. Wilbur would know. He saw him every night in his dreams.

Techno stood there in the control room and watched as Eret betrayed them. Even when Dream and his friends popped out of the walls, the pink-haired man didn’t move a single muscle. 

He never even spoke a word.  

He must have been tired of seeing the same scenes every night. Of watching Wilbur and everyone in L’manburg die over and over and over again. Prime, Wilbur knew he was tired. He was so, so tired. He couldn’t even recall the last time he got a proper night’s rest. 

Good dreams were a rarity. 

All that existed now were nightmares. 

Sitting down on a smooth patch of stone, Wilbur looked up at the moon. He rested his elbows on his knees as he folded his hands together.  Despite everything, it was a nice night. The insects were humming, the moon was bright, and there was a cool, pleasant wind that offset the heat. 

No explosions. No laughing Schlatt. No it-was-never-meant-to-be-

Wilbur closed his eyes. 

Ugh, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

All the images flashed in his head. It was hard to pull himself away from those thoughts. To not stew in the horrific scenes now engraved in his memory. 

Why couldn’t he just enjoy the cool night air? Was that too much to ask for? 

His hands shook. 

Fuck, he needed a cigarette. 

His trembling fingers searched the pockets of his trench coats, patting down every pocket until he found what he was looking for. Pulling out one of the last cartons of cigarettes he had, he flicked it open. 

Two sticks remained. 

Shit. 

The only place to get them had been in L’manburg. Once this box was done, he didn’t know what he would do. He had been trying to quit for months. It’s a bad habit. He knew that. And after he came back from a smoke break one day to Tommy in the kitchen, blue eyes shining, asking him to stop before it killed him, well, he took quitting a little more seriously. 

But it was a long, drawn out battle. 

It was the only thing that calmed his mind down when it was running rampant. 

When he had nightmares. 

Taking one stick out of the box, and holding it between two fingers, he brought a lighter up to other end. He flicked the fire up twice before it lit. Deeply breathing in a drag of smoke, he held in his lungs, enjoying how it filled up all the crevices and suffocated all the air. 

He blew out the smoke with a lazy smile. That hit the spot. 

There was nothing like a good smoke after a rough night. 

Wilbur took another drag just as the sound of leaves rustling came from the side. He sighed as he blew out the smoke. 

“Leave me alone Tommy, I don’t want to talk right now.” Wilbur called out with a wave of his hand. 

There’s a pause of silence. The rustling stopped. 

“Good thing I’m not Tommy then.” 

Wait. Wilbur knew that voice-

The cigarette in his fingers fell to the dirt as his head swiveled around. 

No, that couldn’t be. His mind was playing tricks on him again. His twin was in Hypixel currently doing battles, there was no way he was-

A little ways away, Techno stood. 

“Hello Wilbur. It’s been a while.” 

. . .

Techno looked the same as the time Wilbur last saw him. 

As elegant as ever in his white poets shirt, black pants, and dark hunting boots, the man stood as a picture of grace and power. The complete opposite of Wilbur. 

His long pink hair was braided down his back, and his red eyes seemed to shine in the night. 

Wilbur blinked once. Stopped. Rubbed his eyes. Then blinked again. 

No, the apparition was still there. 

And he didn’t look amused. 

Techno’s eyebrow was quirked, with his lips drawn into a grim line. 

“Fuck, I need to quit smoking.” Wilbur said as he stomped out his still smoking cigarette with the edge of his boot.  

 The maybe-real-Techno rolled his eyes. “Now that’s something we could agree on.” 

“I can’t believe you’re here-” The rebel stood up, reached out a hand, and then paused. “What are you doing here?” 

“You really need to ask that?” Techno asked as he took a  step towards Wilbur. Instinctually, the brunette drew his arms around himself. Red eyes grew wide. “You didn’t think I would come-” 

“A lot’s happened since the last time I saw you.” Wilbur confessed.

Techno paused. “Obviously.” 

His twin, his soulmate, approached him and bumped his shoulder with his own. For a second, Wilbur wanted to chase after his touch. But he stopped himself when he realized he was starting to lean towards him. 

Techno narrowed his eyes. Then he huffed and opened up his arms in an silent invitation.

And the action was just so- Techno. 

How he skipped over all the words and directly went to offering comfort through the only way he knew how. It was so intimately familiar of the days of their youth. It was exactly what he needed then. 

And it’s exactly what he needed now. 

Immediately Wilbur barreled into his arms, throwing his hands around his twin’s stomach, and leaning down until his chin hooked over the other’s shoulders. Distantly, he realized he was shaking. 

Techno’s hand awkwardly hovered over his back, before the man gently laid his hand against his coat. 

A quiet sob caught in the back of Wilbur’s throat. 

Neither spoke a word as Wilbur silently fell apart in his brother’s arms. 

When they had been children, before they realized they had been soulmates, not just twins, Techno would always offer a silent sort of support to Wilbur. He’d come into his room during his bad days and sit by his bed and read to him. Distract his mind from his ever increasingly worried thoughts. 

Then they started appearing in each other’s dreams. And the two realized they were fortunate enough that their best friend was their soulmate. 

The rest was history. 

They both grew up. Went their separate ways. And while the two might not have seemed close to others around them, the twins loved each other as much as they ever did. It was just hard sometimes to show it. 

Especially when one was a famous arena fighter and the other was a failed politician thrown in a trench. 

Techno’s hand rubbed up and down his back. “There you go Orpheus. You’re safe here.” 

For some reason, that made him shake even more. 

How long had it been since they last saw each other? Too long. 

Yet, as always, Techno’s arms were solid and safe. Wilbur inhaled deeply. Slowly he counted his breaths, keeping them even and trying to get a solid hold on his emotions. The continuous hand on his back didn’t help in keeping himself together, but if it stopped Wilbur thought he might have started crying even harder. 

The two drew apart. 

“Fuck,” Wilbur said, turning his head to the side as he blinked away a few stray tears. 

“Are you…okay, Wil?” Techno looked very uncomfortable. Emotions weren’t the younger brother’s forte. But it made Wilbur’s day that he was trying. 

“Yeah, just give me a second.” Wilbur said. Deeply he breathed one more time. 

Techno rubbed his neck. “Take all the time you need.” ‘

And shit, those words almost brought another wave of tears. What the hell was wrong with him? He’s Wilbur, the fucking ex-president of L’manburg, he did not fall apart. Not this easily. 

Slowly, Wilbur sat down on the rock he previously sat on. Seconds after, a presence sat by him as well. 

Together, the two twins sat in the quiet night. 

Finally, Wilbur pulled himself together good enough to start talking. 

“So you’re here because-” 

“Bruh” Techno deadpanned, craning his head to side-glare at him. “You didn’t think I would see all those dreams and not come did you?” 

“You certainty didn’t say anything during any of them-” 

Wilbur blinked. 

He hadn’t meant to sound so bitter-

Ah, so that was the heart of the matter. Wilbur turned away slightly. Shame rose through his chest. His cheeks flushed. Shit. 

“I-” Techno’s mouth clicked shut. He turned away as well. “I didn’t know what to say.” 

Wilbur’s heart dropped. 

“You didn’t have to say anything. I just needed-” He stopped. With a sigh, he placed his head in his hands. 

“What did you need? I can’t fix anythin’ if I don’t know what I need to fix.” 

“Acknowledgement, a nod, something, anything.” Wilbur tilted his head up and interlocked his fingers together. Placing his chin on his hands, he stared out into the darkness. “It’s like you didn’t even care.” 

Instantly, Wilbur wanted to capture the words and stick them back into his mouth. That was a miscalculation- 

From beside him, he could feel Techno’s body stiffen. 

Techno’s voice dipped, dropping into a low, almost dangerous level. “You thought..I didn’t care.” 

Looking back, those hadn’t been the best words to use. But Wilbur got himself onto this clusterfucked train of conversation, and he was going to ride it to the end. 

“You watched me-” Wilbur sucked in air through his teeth. “ Die. Over and over again. Not one night did you move- or talk- or-” 

Breathing became difficult. His lungs constricted into themselves. Suddenly he could’t breathe- Oh fuck, he-couldn’t-breathe-

A hand landed softly on his back and rubbed small circles. Vaguely he was aware of his brother talking. 

“-reathe with me now. Keep in time with mine.” Techno gently grabbed Wilbur’s hand and guided it to lay against his chest. His twin made exaggerated breaths. 

Hiccupping, Wilbur tried to match them. But his lungs seemed to stutter with each try. He sobbed.  

“That’s okay. You’re doin’ great. Just keep doin’ that.” Techno said with a calm voice. 

Finally after a few minutes, Wilbur’s breathing returned to normal. He wiped away the excess tears from his eye with a grimace. “I’m not usually this much of a crybaby.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with cryin’. It’s not weakness.” Techno said. 

Wilbur hummed non committedly.

“It’s not.” 

Disbelief flashed across Wilbur’s face and Techno sighed. 

Leaning back, Techno placed both his hands in his lap and crossed his legs. His twin mirrored him and looked up at the sky. Thousands of stars shined overhead. Not a word was spoken between them as they watched the starry night. 

“I’m sorry,” Techno was the first to break the silence. “I didn’t mean to make you think I didn’t care. It’s just-” 

He paused. His eyes trailed down to his folded hands. 

“Seeing you get hurt. Like that. It was hard. I thought they were just worries…That they would go away. But then they didn’t . And I just sort of,” Techno made a circular hand gesture. “Shut down.” 

Wilbur inhaled. 

There’s a small part of him that thought that was what happened. But it had been drowned out by the ocean of insecurities he felt. 

It had been too long since he last saw Techno. How was he supposed to know how his twin felt? 

“But now I realize, they weren’t just worries. Nobody sees stuff that vividly for that long unless it’s a memory. ” 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Wilbur did not like where this conversation was headed- He didn’t want to tell Techno how bad he failed. How terrible he was actually doing-

“We don’t have to talk about it.” Techno reassured. A large weight was lifted off Wilbur’s shoulders. “For now. We will eventually. But I don’t think you’re in the right head space for that conversation.” 

Fuck. Wilbur needed another cigarette. He patted his pockets until he found his carton. He flicked it open. Only one remained. He picked it up with his fingers-

Until it was smacked out of his hand by a slightly bigger one. 

Wilbur felt hollow. He stared down at the cigarette on the ground. He couldn’t take his eyes off it. “That was my last cigarette.” 

Techno huffed beside him, obviously pleased with himself. 

“That was my last cigarette-” Wilbur repeated like a broken record. He continued to stare holes into the ground. Techno rolled his eyes as he stood up.  

“Smokin’ kills-” 

“I needed that.” Wilbur frowned. 

“What you need is sleep.” Techno amended. ”When was the last time you got some actual, good rest?” 

Was it bad that Wilbur had to think about it? Apparently so. Techno grumbled as he stood up. Reaching out a hand he gestured towards the entrance of the ravine. 

“Come on, show me this new base of yours.” Techno said. 

And for a brief second, the two were kids again. Ready to show each other their newest project, or their newest build. 

Taking his hand, Wilbur gained a tilt of a smile. 

Then with a dramatic gesture, he showed him down the stairs into the ravine. He showed him each room. Giving him the grand tour of Pogtopia, as you would. 

They eventually talked about the rebellion. They were in a rebel base. It had only been a matter of time. But he skipped over all the parts that could wait for another day. They had the time. Techno assured him that he wasn’t going anywhere until whatever caused his nightmares was done. 

Then, with a stop in the kitchen, with two cups of steaming hot tea, the two went into Wilbur’s bedroom. 

Pushing two beds together they slept side-by-side and hand-in-hand. Knowing that whatever was in their dreams’ they would face it together. And knowing that each other would be there when they woke up. 

For the first time in a long time, Wilbur slept soundly.