Chapter Text
It reeked of alcohol.
It was the first thing he noticed upon pushing open the kitchen door and stepping inside. He could smell it before he even stepped all the way into the tiny trailer house; strong and familiar, making his nose wrinkle and his stomach twist into a tight, almost painful knot.
“...Lexie?”
The word came out in a shaky whisper. He couldn’t help it. His breath was straining ever so slightly in his throat from the jog down the block— parking his car in the drive was practically an invitation to get fucking screamed at— and the sight before him really, really wasn’t helping to ease his nerves.
The kitchen had never been clean, so the mess— the plates left out, the scattered cups and glasses on the countertop, the pot sitting on the stove that had what looked like the remains of some shitty mac and cheese caked to the inside of it— wasn’t a red flag, no. The mess was normal. The mess was good. The mess wasn’t the part of the whole situation that made him stop momentarily to steady himself, no.
The half-gone bottle of rum on the counter next to the spice rack was what earned itself that honour.
The rum that Lex swore up and down that she hated..
The smell of it was strong, mingling with the scent of cigarette smoke— okay, that’s good, that means she probably didn’t get too far— still lingering in the air.
Nervously, he swallowed.
Took a step further inside.
“Lex? Babe?” He tried again, raising his voice just a touch and letting his eyes drift from the counter to the floor, to—
Oh.
Oh, fuck.
…to the sock-clad foot sticking out ever so slightly from behind the small kitchen island.
“Oh… fuck.”
The words slipped from him without his permission.
He couldn’t stop himself from moving forward.
Couldn’t stop himself from kneeling on the cracked tiles of the kitchen in one smooth motion and sitting next to a shaking figure with a cigarette between her lips and one hand over her face.
It was automatic for him. Automatic for him to reach out a hand and settle it on her knee, touching her skin through the hole in her jeans. Automatic for him to duck his head just enough to try making eye contact despite the fact that her gaze was fixated on the burning end of the cigarette. Automatic for him to use his other hand to slowly, carefully brush a strand of wet hair out of her eyes to reveal…
Fuck.
His gaze softened, and without a word about it— there was no way she’d missed the shiner she was sporting— he offered her a small smile.
“Hey,” he greeted, quietly.
“...you didn’t have to come.”
“...y’know, that’s the part where you say hello, too.”
As he spoke, slowly, he slumped into a proper sitting position, back to the kitchen island, exhaling, idly watching the smoke from her cigarette as it billowed into the air in heavy coils.
That was a more familiar smell, one that almost masked the sharp tang of rum in the air.
One that caused him to close his eyes and breathe in deeply.
It felt almost normal with his eyes closed.
Sure, Lex didn’t often drink, but it was easy enough to pretend.
Easy enough to pretend they were high, slumped on the floor after a long night of talking themselves in circles and laughing at nothing. Easy to pretend that she hadn’t called him at four in the morning in fucking tears, mumbling about Hannah in a slurred, shaky voice, begging him to hurry up and come over…
Shit.
Hannah…
She had called him about—
The feeling of something settling against his shoulder caused his eyes to flick open.
And there she was.
Lex.
His Lex.
Curled up against his side with her face buried in his neck, shakily breathing.
Without hesitation, he wrapped an arm around her trembling frame.
In response, a choked sob reached his ears.
He only held her tighter at the sound.
“Hey, hey…” Murmuring the words at a volume barely above a whisper, Ethan gingerly shifted his weight on the floor, other arm lifting, moving to hold her better, to wrap her in a tight embrace. “Babe, c’mere… fuck, you’re shakin’...”
Something warm dripped onto the collar of his shirt.
“Hey, I got’cha. Fuck, I knew you were drinkin’, but…” trailing off, he bit down on his lip. “Holy shit… you high, too, or just—”
“Jus’ booze.”
The words came out as one— her lips barely moving.
“Shit, okay, I—”
“B-But I didn’t… I didn’t c-call ‘cause I’m… fucked… s’Hannah.”
Ethan’s stomach sank.
“Yeah, you, ah, ya said somethin’ about her,” he murmured, running his hand over her back in an attempt to keep her from trembling despite the fact that the hair on the back of his neck was beginning to prickle.
Hannah was a smart kid.
She could look out for herself, sure, but with Lex like this… from the way she’d sounded over the phone…
His worry must’ve shown on his face.
Lex’s gaze flicked down to her lap.
Her shoulders shuddered.
“She… she’s in the… she ran off. In… into th’ woods… ‘c-cause ma were… she isn’t anymore, but… she was… she… sh-e…”
“Hey, slow down, I got’cha. M’kay? I got’cha…”
“It’s… it’s… it’s m-my f-f-fault… I… mom was here, a-and she was bad… she left, ‘n I just…” Weakly, she gestured to the cup on the countertop, sniffling. “You can prolly guess th’ rest, huh?”
“...it’s gonna be okay, babe, m’kay? You’re okay—”
“But Hannah—”
“I’ll go get her,” he interrupted, squeezing her shoulders and lowering his head to hold eye-contact. “Okay? I’ll go get her, an’ I’ll come right back. Promise.”
“C-Cross your—”
With a soft laugh, Ethan pressed a kiss to her hair.
“Yeah, yeah. Cross m’heart an’ hope ta die. She’ll be home soon, babe, jus’... stay here, m’kay? Try drinkin’ some water.”
Against his chest, wearily, Lex nodded.
“M’kay… f-fuckin’... yeah. Water… water’s…”
“Good,” Ethan finished for her, taking her hands gently in his own. “S’good shit, babe. ‘Specially with you all… y’know.”
A wet sounding laugh bubbled from her.
“Fucked?” She tried, weakly.
Ethan snorted in response.
“Sure. You’re fucked. Now, c’mon. Up ya get, I… s’late, an’ I dunno how far she might’a gotten.”
Slowly, making sure she wouldn’t fall, Ethan shifted into a crouching position before starting to stand, grip on her hands shifting to clutch at her wrists, keeping her as secure as he could manage.
Her legs wobbled.
“F-Fuck—”
His grip on her wrists tightened, and despite everything, he managed a small laugh.
“Hey, easy, I got’cha. Jus’ movin’ ya to the couch, okay?”
Lex’s eyes flicked past him, and for the briefest of moments, a look of sheer calculating concentration fell over her features. “...that’s… far,” she mumbled, at which Ethan bit down hard on the inside of his cheek to keep a snicker at bay.
“You’ll make it,” he said instead, pulling her closer as he did, causing her to take a few more wobbly steps toward him. Her nails dug into the sleeves of his jacket, and for a split second, she looked almost genuinely frightened .
“Promise?” She breathed.
His smirk faded.
A soft sigh pulled from him, and in one smooth motion, he pulled her closer still.
“Cross m’heart,” he agreed, taking another few steps, guiding her along and holding her mistrusting gaze. Even as her legs wobbled, his grip didn’t falter. They were close to the couch, and without giving her much warning, he slumped down, earning a sharp squeak of protest as she all but flopped beside him.
“An’,” he started, raising his chin at the sight of an absolutely scathing glare “hope ta die.”
Lex’s eyes narrowed. “You’re such an asshole, you know that?”
Ethan shrugged in response. The arm around her shoulders shifted, pulling her snugly against his side. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Fuck are you gonna do about it, huh?”
For a moment, there was silence.
Then a wet, watery laugh.
Even like this, he couldn’t help but think she was beautiful.
Even though her eyes were red, even though there were tear tracts staining her face, even though she looked so broken… she was smiling . She’d laughed , fuck’s sake, and that was something.
Watching, unable to keep himself from giving a small laugh alongside her, Ethan gently wiped a tear away from under her eye, earning another damp laugh and a small swat.
“I can take care of myself, Eth.”
“I know, babe, I jus’... fuck, I don’t wanna leave ya like this, I—”
“Hannah,” Lex interrupted. “E, you have to go get her, she can’t look out for herself out there. Not this late, a-and not… not while she’s so fucking upset…”
“...yeah. Fuck, yeah , you’re right, just…” Trailing off, again, he ran his thumb under her eye, collecting another stray tear. “...you sure you’ll be okay if I leave?”
Lex shrugged. “Gotta be. I mean, I don’t want you to, but…” Shakily, she gave a wide, sweeping gesture, swinging her hand toward the kitchen door before dropping it into her lap. “...just go fuckin’ get her,” she finished, weakly.
Ethan’s throat tightened.
“Hey,” he murmured, lowering his head to try meeting her gaze, ‘hey, you’ll be okay, I… gave th’ fuckin’ hat to Hannah awhile ago, b-but I can…”
Moving quickly, carefully, he reached down, and with a smooth, practiced motion, he carefully untied the flannel around his waist, tugging it off and gathering it hastily into his arms.
“Here.” With one hand, he pushed the bundle of fabric into her arms, and with the other, he gently smoothed down her hair, pushing a stray lock into place behind her ear, feeling his heart squeeze tightly at the sight of her bruising. Now that he could see it, it was easy to tell that it was new, new and a deep, angry sort of purple mixed with red. Her face was swollen around it, ane ven though her eye didn’t look to be damaged in any way, thank fucking god, it still made his chest feel tight as he settled a hand on her cheek momentarily. “Take it. S’prolly a little warm. I’d give ya my jacket, but it’s cold as fuck out there right now, an’ I kinda need it.”
Her eyebrows raised. “You’re giving me the ass flannel?”
“Damn right I’m givin’ ya th’ ass flannel!” He agreed, smirking as she shrugged it on, taking the opportunity to pull away from her and stretch himself out. “Not that you’re complainin’.”
Lex’s eyes narrowed.
“Shut up.”
“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t ya?”
“Oh, definitely,” she agreed, though, to his amusement, she tugged the flannel on anyway. She did it sharply, sure, and through a glare, but the way her lips twitched was telling. “Fuckin’ love it if you never said another word.”
“Really?” Standing, he tilted his head as he took a step toward the kitchen door. “Then in that case, I ain’t sayin’ shit until ya tell me to.”
From behind him, Lex gave a small huff.
“Fine.”
He took another step.
“Fine,” he echoed, smugly, taking another long stride. Just a few more, and he’d be out the back door, and then he could—
“I didn’t tell you to say that.”
—he froze.
“I—”
“Didn’t tell you to do that, either.”
Laughing, Ethan raised his hands in surrender. “Jesus, fine! Fine, okay. So maybe I talk a lot, so fuckin’ what?”
“ So ,” Lex countered, “you could talk less. Wouldn’t fuckin’ kill ya.”
“No.” Stepping forward, he lowered his hands and scooted around the kitchen counter, shaking his head and giving a soft huff of laughter. “That’d be the lions an’ tigers an’ fuckin’ mosquitoes in th’ woods.”
Lex scoffed. “Mosquitoes?”
“Oh, yeah.” Pausing to zip up his jacket, he shot her a crooked grin over his shoulder. “Real big ones. All hairy an’ nasty ‘n shit.”
“If a mosquito’s what fucking kills you, it was your time to go.”
Ethan shrugged. His fingers brushed up against the doorknob, giving it a halfway twist. “All th’ more reason ta watch out then, huh?”
In the doorframe, for a brief moment, he paused, and turned his head back toward her at the sound of a weak sniffle.
She looked so small on the couch.
With her knees drawn up to her chest and her face buried in a throw pillow, she looked nothing short of absolutely miniscule, and even though she was trying her damndest to be quiet, if he tilted his head and listened, he could hear her soft, shaky breaths.
His heart sank.
“I’ll get ‘er,” he repeated, softly, before trying for a joke, “Borrow Ollie’s leash ta bring her back around with. Won’t give her no chance to run for it.”
Lex’s head lifted just enough for him to see her scowl.
In response, he flashed her a wide grin— earning a roll of her eyes and a half-baked scoff.
“...you’re a dick, you know that?”
His grin widened.
“Ah, yeah,” he agreed, rolling down the sleeves of his jacket as he did— the woods were fucking cold, after all. “Y’know, I was gonna say I love ya, but, ah, I think ‘fuck you’ makes more sense right now.”
Weakly, Lex sniffled. Her hand lifted, wiping at her face somewhat pathetically, and for a moment, Ethan considered making fun of her for getting snot all over his flannel, but when she looked up…
His grin faded slightly, turning into something more genuine. Something more kind.
“...but,” he continued, voice just a touch softer than it had been, “I guess I love ya.”
Lex exhaled. Shifted her weight. Then, after a long pause, she gave a weak, broken smile. “I love you, too.”
The door swung open.
“Back in a jiff.”
“Better be.”
Unbeknownst to him then, in the seconds before the door closed, Ethan Green told a lie.
A harmless one.
A simple one.
One he’d thought was true.
One that he wouldn’t realize was anything but the truth until felt the sharp metal of a knife against his throat and the warm trickle of blood on his skin.
“Promise.”