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“Wilbur, for the hundredth fuckin’ time, you can’t turn into a bat, and I’m not letting you try to climb out the window! Philza Minecraft will have my head if I get his son killed, Wil, you have to understand.”
Tommy grits his teeth. This is the third time he's tried to pull the kid off the god-damn windowsill, to no avail. Arms crossed and cheeks puffed, Wilbur stares back at him defiantly with a smug look on his face. “Tommy stupid. Course I can go bat.”
“That’s a cartoon thing! You made fun of me when we met, and I asked you if you could actually turn into a one. You laughed at me!”
"Oh, yeah! Was funny.” Giggling, the vampire finally climbs down from the windowsill. He falls into Tommy's arms without warning, and the sudden weight makes Tommy stumble backwards. Grunting, he takes a moment to restabilize himself, but he doesn't hesitate to return the hug, holding Wilbur against his chest. At least he's not trying to break a limb anymore.
“You little rascal,” Tommy grumbles, placing a hand atop of Wilbur’s head, ruffling the nest of unbrushed curls. Big Wilbur keeps everyone away from his hair with the threat of murder at any attempts to mess with it, so he's going to take the opportunity to mess with it while he can.
“So liddle,” Wilbur agrees, voice muffled against the older boy's shoulder. Tommy feels him shift, and he moves his hand down to the small of Wilbur’s back to keep him in place.
Then, he feels two sharp pinpricks on the side of his neck. His head jerks back, alarmed, only to see a guilty expression on Wilbur's face. “Hey!” he shouts, flicking the boy gently on the nose. “What have we said about feeding on humans when you’re small, huh? Did you forget?”
To Wilbur's credit, he pulls back immediately. The boy gives a quiet whine, staring guiltily at the floor and shuffling his feet on the fuzzy carpet. “Uhm. Don’ do it?”
Tommy nods. “Uh-huh. You’re too tiny to watch yourself, and you might mess up and hurt me, remember? We don’t want that.”
Crimson eyes widen at that, Wilbur mirroring his nod, little head shaking up and down. “Nuh-uh! Hurt Tommy bad. Don’ wanna, never ever ever.”
God, Tommy can't stay mad at that face. He's a weak man! He leans forward to pull the kid back into his arms, rubbing his back in soothing circles. He feels Wilbur relax against him, making a series of pleased clicks and purrs; the sound that Tommy has learned to associate with a happy vampire. “Awwww,” he coos, squeezing the little in his arms. “You’re sweet. What about we go get you an actual snack, yeah? One that, uhhh, you know, isn’t me!”
“Yes! ‘M hungwy, give!” Wilbur demands, pulling away. He bounces on the heels of his feet excitedly, flapping his hands by his sides.
Tommy can't help the grin that spread on his face - sue him, Wilbur is cute like this. “Alright, little man, come on!”
He takes the vampire’s hand in his own, gently leading the little to the kitchen. His hand is cold and smooth, squeezing back softly. Wilbur sticks to his side as Tommy navigates through the kitchen, opening cupboards one-handed to look for Wil’s baby stuff.
After a few failed tries, he finally finds them, stored in the back behind the ice cream bowls. And Wilbur is spoiled. There's a bunch of baby bottles with cute designs on the front, from bears and honeycombs to bees and little flowers, and sippy cups in every colour of the rainbow. “Is it a sippy cup or baby bottle kind of evening, bud?” he asks.
Wilbur hums, scrunching up his nose in deep thought. “Um… I fink sippy now,” he says, standing on his tippy-toes to take a good look inside the cupboard. “Babba get me a good one!”
“How dare you, Wilbur, of course I’ll get you a good one! What kind of big brother would I be if I didn’t? A proper scummy one!” He boops Wil on the nose. The little lets go of his hand to giggle and he bats away at his hands, sticking his tongue out at him.
“Kay, do it den! Tommy so slow.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re a vampire, man, you’re all fast and shit! It’s not a fair comparison, Wilbur, it’s just not,” he complains, grabbing a lavender sippy cup from the cupboard. It has a cute image of a bat on the front, with large sparkly eyes.
Next, he opens the fridge, not even flinching at the rows upon rows of blood bags lining the pristine white shelves. Maybe he would have some months ago, but he's had dinner with the Watsons enough times that the sight doesn't faze him. Smoothly, he reaches for a half-empty bag and removes the lid from the sippy cup.
God, he can only imagine how much soap Techno uses to get the bloodstains off these things. God bless that man and his home-making skills, because Phil and Wilbur definitely don't have any.
Tommy pours the blood bag inside the cup, careful not to go too fast - he doesn't want to spill any on the counter, especially not on his only clean shirt.
“Ooh, smells yum,” Wilbur suddenly appears next to him, leaning against the counter half crouched, trying to sniff the blood bag like an overgrown puppy. Tommy laughs, pushing him away gently with the palm of his hand.
“Uh-uh-uh, be patient, Wilby! I’m almost done, promise.”
The boy huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, and Tommy laughs again. He's noticed that Wilbur isn't any less dramatic as a kid than as an adult, which makes him all the more fun to be around.
Finally, the blood bag is empty. Tommy tosses it in the bin and screws the top back on the sippy cup, then washes his hands with plenty of soap and water. Gotta keep sanitary, and all that. He knows all too well how the smell of blood lingers.
“Aaalright, one sippy cup full of, uh, delicious blood coming right up! Take a seat, little man!”
Wilbur nods, climbing atop the kitchen stool and making grabby hands at the sippy cup, small fists clenching and unclenching. “Gimme! Give!”
Rolling his eyes affectionately, Tommy hands over the cup to the little, who quickly brings it to his mouth, biting into the silicone rubber with his fangs and beginning to suck happily. It's almost cute, in a weird, messed-up way, not that he'd ever admit that.
“Can you do me a favour, kiddo? I need you to use your… coven bond telepathy thing and signal Phil and Techno to come home. Can you do that for me, king?” He crosses his fingers, waiting for Wilbur to respond. He's very reliant on the kid agreeing, because God knows those old vampire bastards don't carry cellphones. The little squints his eyes, setting down the sippy cup. Blood dribbles down from his lips to his chin, Tommy should probably do something about that-
“Kay!” Wilbur chirps, making a focused face. He's silent for a few seconds, before nodding to himself cheerfully. “Did it bubba! I send dem, uh, ‘small, miss, want papa, come nest’.”
Awww, shit, that’s cute. Tommy finds himself smiling ear to ear, and he reaches to squeeze Wilbur’s shoulder gently. “That’s good, buddy! Have they responded?”
The little nods, absentmindedly nibbling on the handles of his sippy cup. “Uh-huh! I felt Papa, he was all, ‘baby, coming, love you,' and Techy was like! ‘Cute, protec’, almost home’ and now dey send me fuzzy feelings n stuffs!”
Tommy feels a sudden pang of jealousy in his chest. For just a moment, it leaves something cold and unpleasant in his chest, and then it's gone. He shakes his head, glancing back to Wilbur, who's drinking as normal. He likes being human, he isn't about to give up cheeserburgers and chocolate biscuits for blood, no thank you, but the bond between coven members is… cool. The ability to send feelings and basic wants to one another, no matter the distance.
But he's not jealous! Ridding his head of irrelevant thoughts, Tommy focuses back on the task at hand. Only that happens to be a lanky toddler, messily chewing the sleeve of Tommy's favourite sweatshirt. “Woah, hey! If you needed a teether you could’ve just said so, Wilby. C'mon, off you go - I'm making your dad pay for a new sweatshirt if this one's ruined! Anyway. Do you want Babba to get you a teether?”
Wilbur’s eyes light up, wide and so red. To someone else that may look sinister, but Tommy can't help but think of christmas lights, bright red bulbs around an evergreen tree. “Yes! Yes, wan’ teefer an’ toys an’ book, Babba! Pwease?” he shouts, slapping his hands on the table with excitement.
Tommy winces when the wood creaks in protest - vampire littles can't control their inhuman strength very well. Or, at all. He's just grateful that it's not a glass table.
“Alright! One moment, Wil, I’ll be right back. Stay here and drink your blood, kay?” He waves a stern finger in the little’s direction, laughing to himself.
“Maybe! If I wannan!” Wilbur says, sticking his tongue out from between his fangs. Tommy snorts - he looks like a pissed-off little snake.
Moving from the kitchen to the living room, Tommy rushes to the boxes of little gear that he knows Phil keeps in the large sideboard by the sofa, crouching to open the cabinet doors. The furniture smells old and dusty, undoubtedly something Phil picked up centuries ago.
Still, the plastic boxes that contain Wilbur’s little gear are carefully sealed off and clean, kept in pristine condition. He pulls the biggest one out, removing the lid and looking through the contents. There's so much of it! Wilbur could live for centuries before running out of new things to play with.
Through the mess of toys and stuffies, Tommy manages to locate a couple of teethers, and he settles on a plain blue one that's shaped like an elephant. It's cute, and it looks less used than the others. Many of the decorated teethers are full of tiny little holes, all spaced identically. Tommy snorts. Fangs and plastic aren't a great match, apparently.
He gathers some other items from the box, before returning it to the sideboard and pushing himself up on his feet. He's very careful as he makes his way back to the kitchen, arms full of little stuff - the teether, a few plushies he knows Wil really likes, a children’s book, and a box of toy blocks. Because he's the best big brother around, that’s why!
“Wiiilbuuur,” he sings, dropping the pile of toys and supplies on the table. “Check it out, little guy! I got you a bunch of stuff.”
Wilbur looks up with a gasp, dropping his sippy cup to clap his hands. “Stuffies!” he screeches, making Tommy wince as the little leans forward, grabbing a big teddy bear and pulling it in his arms. He holds it tightly, nuzzling its soft fur, his overjoyed purring muffled by the stuffed animal.
“What’s this one’s name again?” Tommy asks, seating himself next to the boy. He places the teether by Wilbur’s side to get his attention, and the boy snatches it with inhuman speed, before Tommy can even blink.
“Name’s Bea!” Wil exclaims, biting the teether and chewing lazily a few times. “Bea the bear! She’s bestest.”
“She’s really cute, mate! Like you, yeah?”
Immediately, Wilbur wrinkles his nose in distaste, shakes his head, and buries his face in Bea's fur. “Nuh-uh! Don’ be ‘barrasing, Babba.”
Tommy snorts, resting his chin on the palm of his hand and raising an amused eyebrow at the boy. He's sure that, if the other had been human, light pink would be colouring his cheeks. “Hmm, I don’t know, Wilbur, my superior judgment as big brother is telling me that you’re cute as a button, bud.”
Grown-up Wilbur would probably punch Tommy in the arm for teasing him or threaten to eat him (which didn’t even make sense, vampires can’t process meat) or flick his forehead and call him a child. This Wilbur, though, just looks away and mumbles something under his breath, holding the stuffie closer to his chest. It's not shyness. Tommy knows Wilbur isn't a shy kind of person, and he can tell when a little is just happy to be babied.
That gives him an idea. Tommy holds up the children’s book from the table, reading the cover: The Tale of Peter Rabbit, Beatrix Potter. “Do you want me to read you a story until Phil and Techno get home? This one’s got a bunny on the front and everything! You like bunnies, little man?”
Wilbur nods, peering over from behind the teddy bear to examine the book. “I ‘member dat one. Papa read it to me n’ Techy when we small. Is nice.”
“Yeah?” Tommy smiles, moving his chair closer to the kid. He opens the book to the first page, in the middle between him and Wilbur so they can both see the pictures. “Well, I bet I’m gonna do better voices than Phil, just wait and see!”
And oh, Tommy is a good storyteller. He likes doing silly voices to make Wil laugh, to hear his “No, Peter iz bunny! He no have deep voice, stop!” after he reads out the rabbit’s line with a deep voice and funny accent. Tommy isn't much of a reader, but he loves hearing the delighted giggles from the boy, and the clicking sounds barely stifled by his sippy cup.
After about fifteen pages, they're interrupted by the sound of footsteps - a pair of heavy-set ones and a lighter one, followed by keys jingling and the click of the front door unlocking. Finally!
Tommy turns around, just in time to see the door open to reveal the two older vampires. “Oh my god, there you are! You left me on babysitting duty for literal ages, how dare you!”
They both look messy, hair ruffled as if they ran all the way here. Techno’s elegant braid is almost undone, and Phil’s bucket hat and robes are skewed and out of place. Both pairs of sanguine eyes fall on the boy, still blissfully invested in a picture of Peter Rabbit.
“Oh my god- he’s okay,” Phil says. He's next to them in the blink of an eye, cradling Wilbur’s face in his hands, gentleness in every movement. “Hey, kiddo! I’m sorry we took so long to get here.”
“Papa!” Wilbur squeals. He drops the sippy cup to wrap his arms around Phil's waist, holding him tightly and jumping up and down with a big smile. “Missed you so much!”
Absent-mindedly, Tommy registers the door closing and locking, and then Techno is in front of him, large and imposing as always. “Fledgling,” he purrs, reaching down to ruffle Wilbur’s hair. The little detaches himself from Phil’s arms and leans into the touch, purring back at his caregiver.
“Hi Techie! Y’ get message?” he asks. Techno scratches gently behind his ears, and Wilbur's eyes close as his purring becomes louder. Tommy's reminded of an elderly cat, whose purrbox is a little scratchier than it should be.
“Mhmm. We both did, baby bat.”
“Wait, what was the message?” Tommy butts in. He's not feeling left out, nothing like that! Nope, not at all, but he is curious. “Tell me, bitch.”
“Hey! Don’t- don’t use that language in front of Wilbur, Tommy, c’mon,” Techno complains, taking his glasses off to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. “He means the coven bond.”
Phil nods. “He kept sending shit like- Happy, brother, want coven. It was insanely cute.”
“Philza! Stop swearin’, bro- Am I the only sensible one here? Huh?”
Tommy rolls his eyes, used to their bickering. He's more focused on what Techno said, about Wilbur calling him his brother in his thoughts. It's not the first time, it's a joke that big Wilbur loves to make and a word that he's heard little Wilbur mumble before once or twice, but it feels different to hear it from Techno. More real. There's a fuzzy, tingly feeling in his chest, like sunshine and butterflies.
“Wilby," he says, "do you want to finish our book, or would you rather spend time with these old farts, hm?”
Instead of answering, Wilbur flails his arms up and down, flapping his hands giddily in the air. “Am bat! Big scary vampie bat!”
Very helpful, Wil, thank you very much.
“Hold up, mate,” Phil intervenes, raising a blonde brow. “It’s our turn to spend time with the baby, learn to share.”
“Trueee,” Techno says, then reaches over to examine Wilbur’s sippy cup. It's practically empty, with only a little bit of blood left at the bottom. “I think he’s done eatin’. Are you, bud?”
“Mhmm! All full now, Tommy give blood! Yucky one from fwidge bu’ still good!”
“Aaalright. What about we get you somewhere comfy then? The kitchen table can’t be that nice.” Techno doesn't wait for an answer. He turns around so his back is facing Wilbur, and crouches down on one knee, nodding to himself. “Kay. Up you go, fledgling.”
The little vampire gasps in excitement, eyes practically sparkling as he wraps his arms around Techno’s neck and allows himself to be pulled up against his back, legs tight around Techno's waist. Technoblade grunts as he gets up, slowly and carefully, making sure that Wilbur won't fall.
The little chirps, slapping his hands on Techno’s shoulders. “Up, up, up! Yay!”
Phil awwws, clasping his hands together and making puppy eyes at the two, much to Techno’s embarrassment. The vampire looks away, readjusting his hold on Wilbur. “All good?”
“Uh-huh! Super duper good, Te'no!”
“Nice. Mind your head, kid. We’ve got tall ceilings, but we’re both pretty tall too, so. Your dad will kill me if I let you crack your skull open.”
“Pfff, well, you’re not wrong,” Phil laughs, shaking his head with fondness. “Just be careful.”
“Gotcha, fam,” Techno nods. “Technoplane, here we go!”
Zoom. In a flash, both Techno and Wilbur disappear, having run off god-knows-where at inhuman speed. Tommy can hear Wilbur’s shrieking laughter around the manor, mixed with Techno’s loud shouting of, “Go, go, go!”.
Dorks, the two of them. At least Wilbur's having fun.
Phil hums under his breath, moving over to the kitchen table and moving the used sippy cup to the dishwasher. “He didn’t cause you any trouble, did he, mate?”
“Nah. I just got him his blood and we read for a bit, he didn’t have time to destroy anything. Though he did try to jump out a window.”
“He tried to- what?!”
“It’s not a big deal, I stopped him!” Tommy laughs, Phil’s expression one of sheer terror as he stares him down. “C’mon, don’t look at me like that Philza, I wouldn’t actually let him get hurt! I’m a good babysitter!”
Phil looks ready to explode for a second, but he pauses, closes his eyes, and takes a big, deep breath. That he doesn't even need, because vampire. “Jesus, okay. Why don’t you go find Wil and Tech, and I’ll join you in a moment? I need to tidy up and probably make him some milk or something - he gets whiny when he doesn’t get something sweet after a meal, you know how he is.”
Tommy knows. Out of all the regressors he's met Wilbur throws the loudest, most melodramatic tantrums. Hell, his ears still ring from the last time the kid got upset, apparently very angry that they moved his favourite cartoon from two in the afternoon to three. The little guy can definitely scream.
"Sure thing, Philza Minecraft!" Tommy salutes him and off off off he goes, rushing up the stairs to the top floor. He follows the sound of shouts and giggles down the hallway and into Techno's bedroom, where he and the regressor are sitting on the floor together, on a pink fuzzy carpet.
"Up, c'mon Techno pleaaase," Wilbur is whining, with soft but insistent tugs at Techno's hair. "Wan' fly!"
"This just won't end well," Techno says. At another tug at his hair, he sighs, "Alright, alright, hey- stop pulling at my hair baby bat, c'mon."
The man lays down on the floor, folding his knees towards his chest. With no idea of what's going on, Tommy decides to reveal himself from the shadows. (Not that Technoblade didn't know he was there. Of course he did, with those creepy vampirey senses of his, but it's the principle of the matter!)
"What are you doing?" he asks, walking over to the pair. He nudges Techno's side with his foot. "Why is the great majestic vampire lord Technoblade laying on the floor? Oh, this is a societal scandal, I bet back in the Victorian days you would've gotten beheaded for this shit, get me a guillotine Wil c'mon-"
"We're playing bat," Techno interrupts him in a dead-pan, then calls out, "Wilbur, here bud."
The boy runs up to his caregiver, eyes wide and bright with excitement. His hands flap up and down, the little vampire bouncing back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Up?"
"Mhmm, up. Give me your hands first."
Tommy watches Techno take Wilbur's smaller hands in his own, wringing their fingers together with a smile. Then Wilbur leans forward, his chest pressed against Technoblade's socked feet, and Techno pushes forward with his arms and legs.
Wilbur breaks into a fit of giggles and childlike squeals, flailing his arms in the air as he's hoisted off the ground, balanced on top of Techno. "Up, up, flyin!!!" he shouts happily. "Woosh!"
"Heh- Calm down fledgling, don't want you to fall," Techno says, trying his best to balance the kid in the air. Tommy stifles a laugh. He's used to Mr. Serious Know-It-All Techno, and seeing him struggle to wrangle a six-foot-five toddler is very, very funny, especially with how his eyebrows are furrowed and mouth set in firm concentration.
"Need some help there, Techno?"
"Nah, nah, I've got it. He's having fun. Yeah, baby?"
"Mhmm!" Wilbur says, kicking his legs in the air. "Fly like bat!"
"Oh, you're looking like the coolest little bat around, buddy!" Tommy takes a seat next to the pair on the floor, making sure to keep a safe distance from the makeshift game of aeroplane. Albeit, he doesn't think Techno's going to drop Wilbur, what with his super-strength and everything, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
It's really sweet getting to see the delight on the little boy's face, the happy coos and bubbly laughter spilling from his lips. Wilbur bats his arms and does little hisses that maybe would be scary to another human, but Tommy just melts. He meets Techno's eyes and he can tell they're both thinking the same thing, which obviously goes something like: "holy shit, baby, cute baby, baby so damn cute."
After a few minutes, during which Wilbur hasn't gotten any less excited by the game and Techno's relaxed a little, less worried that he's going to drop the kid, Phil walks into the room, a gust of cold air announcing his presence.
"Hey, Phil," Techno says, at the same time as Wilbur screams, "Papa!"
"Baby!" Phil beams, taking in the sight in front of him. A wide smile settles on his face, fangs and everything. "What are you two up to, huh?"
"Play bat," Wilbur says, cheerfully flapping his arms for demonstration. "Techy help me fly!"
"Awww," Phil coos at him, then sends a teasing grin down to Techno. "That's very sweet, Techno!"
The other vampire grumbles something under his breath, looking embarrassed. Tommy laughs, "You should've seen him earlier! He looked like he was going to piss his pants, because Wilbur kept wiggling around!"
"Not true. Didn't happen."
"Uh-huh," Phil says fondly, shaking his head. "Alright, settle down you two. Wilbur, do you want your milk baby? Papa made you your favourite, with honey and vanilla."
Wilbur gasps, and in a flash, he's gone. Tommy flinches at the sudden movement, but the little reappears suddenly in Phil's arms, mashing his face happily against the fabric of Phil's sweater. "Bottle! Give, Papa!"
"Oh, just a second baby, let's move somewhere comfortable, yeah? Techno, can you make the bed?"
"On it."
Tommy and Techno both get up from the floor, and Technoblade sets to creating a nest of pillows and blankets for them and the regressor to sit in. It's a little awkward, Tommy will admit. He loves taking care of Wilbur, loves being with all three of them! All three are like family to him, only he doesn't know what to do in actual familial situations like this. He hums a tune under his breath, trying not to seem bothered as Techno finishes up the bed.
"Thanks, mate," Phil says. He gives a gentle push to Wilbur's chest, motioning towards the bed with a smile. "Over there Wil, let's go sit!" He leads the boy to the mattress, Wilbur curious and happy as he looks at the comfortable mess of pillows. He settles against the bedframe, babbling quietly to himself.
"Tommy," Techno says, nudging his shoulder. "What are you standin' here for? C'mon, awkward family cuddle time."
Tommy startles. What? He laughs nervously, messing with his hair. "Seriously? I mean, I guess I could, but it's fine if you guys just want to chill. I've got my phone with me, I could watch some YouTube - do you still not know what YouTube is, Techno? I think you'd like it by the way, yeah, you'd be one of those weirdos watching crafts videos and taking them too seriously I bet, I mean,"
"Tommy," Phil says. Tommy looks up and notices that he's in the bed too now, one arm wrapped around Wilbur's shoulders and pulling him close to his chest. "The baby's asking for you, come on. Both of you!"
"Well, who could say no to that?" Techno adds sarcastically, but Tommy can tell he means it, with that little smile and warm rumble to his voice. The taller man gets on the bed and crawls over to sit by Phil, and then he pats the space next to him. One eyebrow raised, he says, "Are you coming?"
Something warm and sunny flutters in Tommy's heart. He grins and climbs on top of the bed, "Well, if you insist!" and joins the vampires in the cuddle pile. He opts to sit by Wilbur, on the other side of Phil. The little makes a happy babbling noise and takes Tommy's hand in his own, squeezing gently.
"Here, Wil," Phil maneuvers the kid carefully so he's laying over his chest, and he guides the baby bottle to his mouth. Wilbur latches on, fangs poking into the silicone. Techno mumbles something about adding a new bottle to their shopping list, and Wilbur's eyes close with a satisfied hum.
Happily, Tommy relaxes against his side, brushing his fingers through his brother's curly hair soothingly. "Awkward family cuddle time," he thinks Techno called it, is actually pretty nice.
"You're both so cold," he complains, without shying away from the touch. "Bloodless fridges, the lot of you."
"Oh, hush," Phil scolds playfully, and Tommy does.
Wilbur squeezes his hand again, Phil's arm over Wilbur's shoulders reaches for Tommy and rests on his shoulder, and Techno looks on with great fondness. Tommy leans against Phil's touch, letting the chill settle. Vampires or not, he could get used to this.