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A scream of despair echoed in the ravine, but it fell upon the deaf ears of someone more focused on a little blue fairy. A ghostly figure watched next to a grief-stricken avian, the two almost identical.
The only difference was that one had seen the end of this.
Vision blurring, Grian took a gentle breath as he watched his past self slice the base from the stalactite and it fell onto Scar’s head with a thud . He flinched slightly at the memory of the pain, or that’s what he told himself. His eyes grew distant as blood fell from Scar’s head, even as the latter’s eyes widened.
“Oh my god…” Scar had muttered.
Grian’s vision blurred as his past self pulled Scar away from the giant cats. The next memory was Grian making his plans to win over BigB. Past Grian hummed a tune as he kneaded the dough, wheat spread out beside him. Phantom Grian sighed, wishing he could reach out and tell himself that it was a bad idea. That it would just cause additional pain on more parts than just his.
“I just couldn’t appreciate what I had.” Phantom Grian hissed under his breath.
He didn’t want to pay any more attention to the rest of his memories. Not from this Life anyways. He took a breath again, thinking back to his past Lives. His Last Life was fun, but something had been missing for most of it. Sure, he had friends and he still had a great time, but there had been a hole in his heart the entire time. It was usually unnoticeable, but the feeling was more assertive when he looked at someone;
And that someone was Scar.
His first Life had been the most memorable out of the three. A simple prank had started it all; by all, he meant all . From Monopoly Mountain to the Red Velvet Keep, that had been the tipping point for him and Scar.
And looking back, it made Grian feel sick to his stomach. Sure, it was a light-hearted prank, but he had killed Scar. The person he wanted to protect. He had sworn his first life to Scar after that moment, swearing to himself that he would protect Scar no matter the cost.
And sure, Scar’s second death had been his fault, but Grian also felt at fault. Grian had failed to warn Scar of the small ravine, causing his partner to fall right in and perish. Grian had felt terrible, reaching out a second too late as Scar’s yell faded to a deafening silence.
And Scar’s last death.
That had hurt the most out of the first three.
Disbelief and hurt had coursed through Grian’s blood as he grabbed his stored gear and dashed to where Bdubs and Scar still stood.
“TRAITOR!!”
As Bdubs had been backstabbed, Grian’s boiling blood cooled and tears had started pooling in his dark eyes.
“You can kill me.”
“What? No!”
Scar had knelt before him, taking the blade of Grian’s sword and resting it on his shoulder. “For everything you’ve done to keep me alive, you may slay me and take the enchanter.” Scar’s words were heartfelt, but it had left a bad taste in Grian’s mouth to imagine doing such a thing.
Memories of a ring of cactus flashed through Grian’s mind as he stared straight ahead at his past self dropping a stalactite onto Ren. Cries of sorrow shared as white noise while he remembered red blood gleaming on his knuckles in the light of the setting sun. Tears fell from his eyes again at the memory, the trauma of killing his closest friend still hanging over his head.
“I don’t feel so good.” The words caught in Grian’s throat, coming out as a soft cry.
The final memory was different. Grian’s vision blurred again and he was faced with a kind-faced man sitting on a horse. Grian smiled at the sight of Scar, even if he did bring up a translucent hand to hide the latter’s bare chest. The moonlight graced his pale skin, and his eyes reflected the fullness of it.
Abruptly, Scar brought his hands up to cover his ears, giving a shout of pain and shock. The memory of the Warden screeching made Grian’s ears ring, but Scar’s voice reached him through it.
“Grian why did you just take so much damage?!”
Tears returned to Grian’s eyes as he watched Scar clutch the horse’s reins in fear. He, Grian, had caused this pain again. He had done it again, hurt his partner when he was meant to protect him.
Grian reached out to Scar, wanting to tell him that he was here , that you aren’t alone , and that he was so sorry for everything , but his hands phased through Scar’s.
Another loud shriek rang through his ears again and as the ringing faded, Scar’s labored breath once again almost wrenched Grian’s heart out of his chest. Grian took a deep, shaky breath as he knelt next to Scar, placing a ghostly hand on Scar’s cheek. He fought off tears as Scar took one last rattling breath and Grian’s vision faded for the last time.
When he came to, he was standing in a clearing in a bamboo forest. A familiar figure was a couple of strides away, leaning against a huge gray tabby cat with his eyes closed. Grian hesitated, taking a step back. Memories of blood on his knuckles flashed again and he took another deep breath.
Scar was alerted by Grian’s breathing. His eyes opened and a grin spread across his damaged face. “Grian!” He sang, throwing his hands towards the red-sweatered man. “Come sit with me and Jellie!”
Grian’s brow furrowed. “You’re not mad at me?” He asked tentatively.
Scar lowered his hands, shrugging with a smaller smile. “Eh. I killed you twice, it’s only fair you kill me once. Now, come on! Chill with me and Jellie!”
Grian shuffled closer to the big cat, eventually settling down next to his partner. Jellie’s tail draped over his lap and Scar snuggled deeper into her fur.
After a couple of moments, Scar spoke again.
“There is actually something I wanted to talk to you about.” The smile was gone from his voice and he flipped around to look at Grian.
Grian’s face fell slightly. He already knew what Scar was going to mention, but he asked anyways; “What is it?”
“You and BigB.”
Grian let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“I don’t mind you talking to other people, I just want you to be honest with me.” Scar mumbled, looking away from Grian. “I know you didn’t have a choice in being my soulmate, but I wish you could trust me enough to tell me how you’re feeling.”
Grian nodded. “I know. I shouldn’t have done that, but I’m just tired of it.”
Scar shifted so his arm was underneath his head, his other hand pressed against Jellie. “Tired of what?”
Grian slipped down further off Jellie’s side. “Tired of the pain. Tired of hurting you.” Scar’s eyes widened slightly. “I thought if I left you alone and instead focused on someone else, I wouldn’t hurt you. But then you died the first time and you told me that you knew about me and BigB, and I realized that my leaving just caused you more pain.”
Grian wouldn’t look at him. “I’m really sorry, Scar. You deserved better than that.”
Scar laughed, leaning onto Grian’s shoulder. “Aw, c’mon, G! No regrets now! We’re in the after Life anyways, so wishing things had been different is useless.”
Grian still turned his head away from his partner.
Scar’s smile fell slightly. “Hey,” He gently turned Grian’s face towards himself. “You know I love you. Nothing will change that.”
Grian finally looked him in the eyes. “I love you too.” Scar giggled, squishing Grian’s face in his hands slightly.
“I didn’t say it to hear it back. I said it to make sure you know.”
Grian smiled, leaning forward so their foreheads touched. He nodded, forcing tears back once more. Scar’s eyes softened at the sight.
“You know you don’t have to pretend around me. It’s okay to not be okay.” Scar whispered. Grian gave a gentle sob.
“Can… Can you just hold me? Please.” He muttered anxiously.
“Whatever you need.”
The two lay against the huge cat, an avian crying into a human’s arms. They had no thoughts of the world except for each other and protecting each other from anyone or anything else.