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“mike” el interrupted. “we..” she looked at him, a conflicted expression painting her face, “we need to talk.”
shit. this was the exact opposite of how mike wanted this conversation to go.
✩
just five minutes ago, mike arrived at hopper’s cabin. he hadn’t spoken to eleven in a while, not properly. she had been unusually distant since they arrived back in hawkins. she had been through a lot in the past couple weeks, mike knew that. on top of all that, she found out her dad wasn’t actually dead. he was alive and safe again. she probably just needed to spend some time alone with him for a while.
mike hated feeling like he wasn’t needed. he despised it, it made him feel worthless. and el was the first girl who made him feel needed. the first girl to show romantic interest in him. the first girl who didn’t see him as a freak. in his twelve year old brain, he had decided that was what being in love was supposed to feel like. but he could feel her pulling away from him. the thought of no longer being needed by someone skyrocketed his anxiety, fuelling his insecurities.
before venturing to hopper’s cabin that day, mike thought about will’s words back in the humid, weed scented atmosphere of argyle’s van. back when he gave him the painting, the one that el had commissioned. the thought that someone could care about him enough to even come up with something like that warmed his heart.
that day in the van, mike was sure that el didn’t need him anymore. he remembered seeing it in her eyes, back when they argued at the byers’ home in california. but as will explained the intent behind the painting, mike felt his insecurities lifting with each word. el did need him. el thought he was the heart. and that immediately made him feel so much better. the fact that someone felt that way about him eased all of his self doubt. mike could tell how emotional will was as he explained el’s feelings to him, and he was eternally grateful that el had a brother who understood her so well and cared so deeply for her.
consequently, will’s words gave him the courage to visit eleven. to try and spend some time with her for the first time in 2 weeks. she needed him. she loved him, and now she knew that he loved her too. everything would be okay. he was tired of waiting around for her to come to him.
so here he was, tapping apprehensively on the door of hopper’s cabin.
after an excruciating few seconds of waiting for a response, the door was pulled open, revealing a disoriented looking el.
“uh, hey… hi el!” mike stammered, waving awkwardly.
“hi” el replied softly. she glanced down at the floor hesitantly, before looking back up.
“so… we haven’t really talked in a while. and i uh- i’ve missed you. a lot. i just, um… wanted to make sure everything was okay?” mike asked, looking around anxiously as he spoke.
“yeah, i’m okay mike” she spoke, still refusing to make eye contact with him for less than a second. “you um… do you want to come in? hop isn’t here right now.”
“yeah, yeah sure” he replied breathlessly, stepping into the cabin.
it looked a lot different there than it had a few weeks ago. their team effort had really payed off on cleaning and renovating the place. if anything, the place looked way more cosy and homely than it had before.
mike followed el to her room as she closed the door behind them with a soft click.
“so uh, are you sure everything’s okay? i mean, you’ve been really distant lately. i… i really care for you, eleven. i’m always here for you. you can talk to me” mike offered, trying to ease the tension as he sat next to el on the bed.
el looked down at the floor sadly, as if mike had said something wrong.
“i thought we could uh- maybe spend the day together here. like we used to? we could uh,” mike rambled, desperately trying to restore normality.
“mike” el interrupted. “we..” she looked at him, a conflicted expression painting her face, “we need to talk.”
mike’s heart dropped. there’s no way this was going to end well.
“i know i’ve been distant, and i am sorry. i didn’t mean to worry you. but i have been thinking a lot. about everything that’s going on. about us.” el began explaining, struggling to keep eye contact.
mike just sat there, letting her talk. mostly because he had no clue what he was supposed to say right now. he knew where this conversation was going. he just didn’t understand. he thought el still needed him, will seemed so sure of it.
“um. remember that day, at surfer boy pizza? when you… when you told me you loved me?”
mike nodded anxiously.
“well, i’ve thought about that a lot. and… i understand mike. i understand why you said it. you wanted to help, and said what i needed to hear” el continued, no longer attempting to keep eye contact, but looking down as tears began escaping her eyes.
“i- i meant what i said el” mike choked out desperately, his own tears threatening to spill.
“you could never say you loved me until it came to life or death, mike. that… it doesn’t make me feel loved. it didn’t feel real.” el replied, looking him in the eyes this time.
“el what… what are you saying?” mike questioned in a trembling whisper.
“i loved you mike. and i still do. but i think… i think the love we have for eachother was never meant to be this way. i think we would work better as friends.” she admitted shakily, offering a teary smile.
they sat there for a few seconds, mike taking in el’s words as he fixed his gaze onto the floor. he hated himself for the relief that began to wash over him.
“it just… it doesn’t make sense, el” mike spoke up, tears still rolling down his cheek.
el looked across to him, expectantly.
he glanced at her before he spoke again, “the painting. the meaning behind it. everything will told me about how you feel. if you… if you really felt that way, then… then why don’t you need me anymore? i just don’t,”
“what do you mean mike?” el looked at him, her face covered in complete confusion. how could she not remember?
“the painting, el. you know, with the dragon? with our d&d characters? with the heart on my shield?“ mike began rambling, frustrated that she didn’t understand what he was saying.
“mike” el raised her voice, gently placing a hand over his fidgeting ones. “i don’t understand. i never gave you a painting. please just… just calm down and tell me what you mean?”
mike stared back at her in disbelief. how could she seriously forget about the painting she commissioned? was she gaslighting him or something? it didn’t make any sense.
“in the van, when we were looking for you” mike started explaining slowly, “will, he gave me this uh… this painting he made. he said that you commissioned it, for me”
“what?” el was definitely lost now. she utterly had no clue what mike was talking about.
“mike, i have never asked will to paint something for you.” el paused, thinking about what could have caused this confusion. “he… he was working on a painting for a while before you came to visit, but he never let anyone else see it.”
what. the. fuck.
✩
mike and el’s conversation ended shortly after that, the younger girl suggesting that he should speak to will. both of them were in a complete state of confusion. why would will lie about the painting? nothing was making sense, and it was hurting mike’s brain.
mike climbed off his bike and rolled it into the garage, heading towards the front door of his house. the same house where the byers were staying for the time being, until they could get their belongings from california and find a new place in hawkins. the wheelers were perfectly happy for them to stay as long as they needed. well, ted lesser than the rest of them. but still. jonathan was staying in nancy’s room, will in mike’s room, and joyce in the guest bedroom. the living situation was working out surprisingly well. and the awkwardness between mike and will had quickly faded, they were beginning to feel like best friends again. until now.
mike pushed the front door open, closing it with probably too much frustration. as he glanced into the living room, he was met with the concerned eyes of his mom, joyce, nancy, jonathan, and will.
“michael? is everything okay?” karen questioned, keeping her worried eyes on her son.
“yeah. sorry. yeah, everything’s cool” mike replied, not sounding at all convincing as he fixed his eyes on an anxious looking will.
will met his eyes, and mike instantly glanced away, ignoring how he felt his face began to heat up.
mike walked towards his room, avoiding any further embarrassment. he really needed to talk to will. he just felt so betrayed by him. he needed to understand why he lied. but the last thing he wanted was to cause a scene in front of their families. he collapsed onto his bed, letting out a long sigh that he must’ve been holding in for a while. his eyes navigated themselves to will’s painting stuck to the wall opposite. he stared at the painting, anxiety clouding his mind as he over thought everything that had happened in the past two weeks.
he almost didn’t hear the faint opening and close of his bedroom door.
mike sat up, leaning against the headboard as he watched will sit next to him on the edge of the bed.
“hey” will spoke softly, lifting one leg onto the bed so he could face mike.
“is uh, is everything okay?” will asked, looking at mike nervously.
mike looked into his big, hazel eyes, feeling drawn in. like he couldn’t look away. it was hard to remember why he was mad at him in the first place when he looked at him like that.
but he forced himself to tear his eyes away as he looked back at the painting, reminding himself of what will did. how he tricked him.
will noticed the movement of mike’s eyes, turning around to see what he was looking at.
the painting.
will looked away nervously, dreading the thought of what was going through mike’s mind right now. he turned back around to face mike, trying to trace the emotion in his eyes, trying to read the situation.
mike glanced back at will, who took a sudden inhale. they locked eyes for a few awkward seconds, a confused expression adorning will’s features.
mike took a deep breath before he spoke, thinking about how we was supposed to go about this conversation.
“i uh… i went to see el today” mike finally spoke up, glancing at will. “i thought she was being distant because she just needed time with hop, or something. you know, after not seeing him for so long” mike continued, his eyes now fixed on the floor.
“and i thought about what you said. in the van. about her needing me. so i thought, i should probably go and talk to her. because she needs me, right?”
will’s breath hitched again, a lot more noticeably this time. mike looked back at him, seeing how his wide eyes were filled with anxiety. he looked like a deer in the headlights, mike thought.
“turns out she doesn’t. she doesn’t need me, will. she broke up with me.” mike snapped, probably more bitterly than he intended.
“shit. i’m sorry mike. i,” will attempted to comfort him, his voice beginning to tremble.
“that’s bullshit. you’re not sorry, will. you’re not. you’re the one that tricked me into thinking that she needs me.” mike interrupted harshly, hours of built up frustration and anger laced through every word.
“you saw how worried i was that day, about her not needing me. and for some reason, that i literally can’t figure out why, you lied to me about it. you made me think that she needed me, when she doesn’t. and to be honest, i don’t think she ever has.”
mike was standing up now, looking down at will as he continued ranting. will was looking anywhere other than the boy in front of him, tears forming in his eyes as he searched for the right words to say.
“i just don’t fucking understand. why would you go through hours of painting something just to use it to trick me? you literally get nothing out of doing that. it makes literally no sense, will.” mike continued, losing control over what he was saying as the words carried on spilling out.
“i… mike i didn’t mean to trick you. please.. please stop. i- that’s not what i was trying to do. i’m sorry. i’m sorry mike, i shouldn’t have lied about it.” will choked out, rambling desperately. he’s always hated being the person mike is upset with.
“well then, what were you trying to do? because giving me a painting and using it to lie to me about something like that is fucked up. el had absolutely no idea what i was talking about when i mentioned it. she never commissioned anything.” mike spat out, voice filled with infuriation. he looked at will expectantly, frustrated that he seemed to have nothing to say.
will sat there for a few moments, tears spilling down his face as he attempted to regulate his breathing. he tried to gather his thoughts, thinking of how he’s supposed to reply. what can he say that can make everything okay again, that can make mike happy, without revealing the true intention of his words that day in the van.
“it’s just… you were really worried about her not needing you anymore. and i… i wanted you to feel better. i wanted to fix it. i knew that she did need you, mike, everything i said was true at some point. i know i shouldn’t have lied about it. i thought it would help. i wanted you to both be happy” will stammered, hoping his reply would be convincing enough.
mike looked up for a few seconds, avoiding eye contact as an unreadable expression appeared on his face. he let out a frustrated sigh, bringing his hands up to his face.
“will, you can’t just act like that. like you’re trying to make me feel bad for you. you lied to me. i just don’t get it. we’ve never done that. we’ve never lied to each other. you didn’t need to lie to me, just to distract me from my relationship that was clearly falling apart. you made me think someone could ever be capable of needing me” if mike wasn’t crying before, he definitely was now. most of his anger turning into sadness as he began drowning in his self pity. insecurity washing over him. he no longer acquired the security blanket of being needed by someone. it was all a lie.
“mike,”
“it was a fucking messed up thing to do, will. best friends don’t do that. i mean, did you forget? friends don’t lie? or do you just not understand what that means anymore?”
“mike.” will snapped, his voice raised much more than mike was used to. mike looked into his wide, teary, eyes. just seeing him like that made him want to forget everything that happened. to forgive him instantly.
“mike you need to listen to me, please.” he pleaded, looking up at the taller boy. mike softly lowered himself next to him, tracing his eyes over will’s side profile in concern as he began to speak.
“i…” will began, his voice coming out in a tremble. “i didn’t lie to you. everything i said was true.”
“what? but,” mike responded, instantly becoming defensive
“mike.” will looked over at the boy, and mike could see the desperation and anxiety in his eyes. that was enough to get him to listen.
“it… it wasn’t a lie because,” will took a staggered deep breath before continuing, “because everything i said, that day, they were my feelings. every word. it’s how i felt. how i still feel.” he stammered, his eyes rooted to the ground, hands shaking.
mike’s eyes widened as he studied the other boy’s face, taking in the information that he never thought he would hear.
“what” mike whispered, voice almost inaudible.
“i’m sorry. i- im really sorry mike. i didn’t want to tell you. i knew it would ruin everything if you knew that’s how i felt. i get it if you can’t be my friend anymore. if you… if you feel disgusted by me. i,”
“will, no. no, i- what- i could never be disgusted by you. i could never, okay? i would never feel like that” mike reassured him, taking will’s trembling hand into his own.
will almost flinched, breath hitching slightly.
“nothing is ruined, will. nothing. i promise.” mike continued, his thumb gently tracing will’s palm. “everything you said, i… i feel the same.” he whispered, glancing nervously at the boy refusing to make eye contact.
“wait, what? mike, wh- what do you mean? do you… do you understand what i said?” will replied in disbelief
“will.” mike emphasised softly, “i… i love you.” his voice came out nearly in a whisper, an extremely shaky one.
“oh. uh. i love you too, man.” will replied, glancing around the room, anywhere other than mike’s eyes.
“no” mike offered urgently, “no, will, that’s not… that’s not what i mean.” he squeezed will’s hand softly, looking at his side profile, attempting to make eye contact.
will finally looked at him. his expression unreadable. a mix of what looked like hope and confusion.
“i’m in love with you, will” mike rephrased, eyes searching will’s for a response.
“wh… what?”
“if i’ve uh… fuck. if i’ve read the situation wrong, i’m sorry.” mike responded anxiously, fighting the tears. shit, this is why i don’t talk about my feelings.
“mike, are you being serious?” will questions, his tone filled with desperation.
“yeah… uh yeah. look, i’m sorry. i- i shouldn’t have said anything. you didn’t mean it like that. i’m sorry.” mike literally wants the earth to swallow him in this moment. he moves his hand away from will’s in shame, shifting his gaze to the floor.
“mike. mike stop” will reaches for his hand, holding it with both of his own.
“i did mean it like that. mike, i love you too. like, i’m in love with you.” will laughs softly. their eyes finally meet again, but it feels so much different this time. like there’s some sort of magnetic aura surrounding them, pushing them together.
“oh” mike whispers softly, eyes fixated on will’s.
“oh” will repeats, smiling gently.
relief washed over mike as he feels like a weight that’s been building up for years has been lifted off of his shoulders. well, technically that is what happened. he had probably been in love with will since they were just kids, but he only had the realisation last year, when the byers left for california. but he pushed the feelings down, pushing will away with them. because apparently, his feelings were scarier to face than any supernatural entity they had encountered over the past few years.
but he could finally be honest. not just to himself, but to will. will needs mike. and mike needs will. he had never felt so sure of anything.
mike’s gaze drops to will’s lips, before softly flicking back up to his eyes. will catches the movement, the pace of his breathing increasing. they look into each other's eyes as if trying to converse without words, and suddenly, the magnetic aura surrounding them seems to be pulling them even closer together. mike can’t help but place an unsteady hand against will’s jaw, drinking in his features as he draws a sharp inhale.
their noses are practically touching, and mike can feel will’s breath against his face. his heart is beating out of his chest at this point, so much that he’s worried that will can hear it.
will fixes his eyes onto mike’s lips, his breath shaking softly, before looking back up.
“mike” he whispers, pleading, desperate for something to happen
mike inches his head forward, their lips grazing slightly. he angles will’s jaw, just at the perfect position for their lips to softly collide. will instantly starts kissing back, mike’s lips moving delicately against him. it starts off careful and slow, both of the boys navigating their way through the experience. but everything felt right. like it had finally clicked into place. this is exactly how they were supposed to be.
they hesitantly break away, as mike’s eyes roam will’s face. he looks completely perfect like this. his cheeks flushed, swollen lips, hair slightly messy. mike cursed himself for not realising sooner just how much he loved this boy.
“i love you will, i love you so much.” mike breathes out softly, hands tracing will’s jaw.
“i love you too” will replies, looking away with his cheeks flushed.
mike moves will’s face closer to his again, looking into will’s eyes for confirmation that he’s okay with it. both of the boys move in closer as their lips press together, soft kisses turning into much more desperate ones this time. years of built up want and need finally being released. mike brings a hand to the back of will’s head, threading his fingers through his hair to deepen the kiss. he can feel will gasp softly into the kiss, his own hands finding their way around mike’s neck.
their bodies are basically one at this point, and mike doesn’t think he’s ever felt this close to another person in his life. they were nearly lying down now, mikes body pressed into will’s as they deepen the kiss, his hands roaming though his hair.
if mike could pick a way to die, this would probably be it. suffocation from kissing will byers. it sounds worryingly appealing to him.
they finally break apart, mike looking down at will, eyes filled with pure love and admiration. he plants soft kisses all over will’s face, over all of his favourite features.
“you’re so beautiful, will” he whispers into his skin.
will laughs softly, and mike can tell that he’s blushing again.
“i can’t believe this is real”
mike furrows his brows, “huh? does this not feel real enough to you?” he says playfully, placing another kiss on will’s jaw.
will stares at him with wide eyes as he laughs nervously, flustered by experiencing this unfamiliar affection.
“well… i’ve spent years being in love with you. so, you know, i kinda convinced myself that nothing like this could ever happen, only in my dreams i guess” will admits, light heartedly.
“oh, so you’ve been dreaming about this, huh?” mike laughs with a teasing grin as he locks eyes with a, yet again, flustered will.
“i mean, can you blame me?” he jokes, ruffling a hand through mikes already messy hair.
“fuck you will byers, my hair is great. at least i don’t still have a bowl cut”
“oh my god mike, it’s not even a bowl cut anymore” will laughs.
“yeah, yeah sure. i believe you, bowl cut byers” mike returns the gesture, messing up will’s hair. will playfully hit mike’s hand away, faking an expression of annoyance.
“if you can’t tell already, i’m gonna be a great boyfriend” mike says sarcastically.
“wait- wh- boyfriend?” will’s eyes widen.
shit
“well- uh yeah if you… uh… shit, i,” mike starts to sit up, cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he tries to save the situation,
“jesus mike, relax. i want to be your boyfriend” will reassures, offering a cheerful smile as he changes his position to face mike.
“oh! thank god, well uh… yeah, that’s a uh- that’s a great plan” he sighs out in relief.
“yeah, it’s the best plan” will smiles, placing a soft kiss against mike’s lips.
and mike thinks he could honestly spend the rest of his life like this, living in this moment.