Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He’d known that it was foolish to get his hopes up. But, after a month and half of nothing but group hang-outs, Jordan had been secretly excited for the excuse to spend time with Sarah alone.

Geography was one of the few classes they had together that semester, and he’d been more than happy to pair up with her for a team project. She’d been the one to suggest it and (while he tried not to read too much into it), he did want to take it as a good sign. At the very least, it was an indication that she didn’t mind spending time with him alone.

When she’d first proposed that they ‘start over’ after the big secret was revealed, he’d initially hoped that meant rekindling their relationship. It hadn’t, however. After many long talks she’d made it clear that she’d meant restarting their initial friendship. As she’d put it, she wanted to go back to the start and see where things went from there. It was certainly better than nothing but he couldn’t ignore the jab of disappointment that brought.

His feelings for her hadn’t changed. Things obviously hadn’t been perfect that year, but he’d wanted his newfound lack of secrecy to set them on a better path. It had, in some ways. He could be more open when hanging out with Sarah, Jon and Nat (which had become their new little group as the school year came towards a close). It was nice not to have to make up excuses and lie about things and he felt more like himself than ever.

But Sarah had still kept a friendly distance. He’d been raised to always respect that, and he always would. Yet he still hoped she might be ready to restart other things one day soon.

He couldn’t stop himself from constantly looking for signs, but he’d been far too scared to broach the subject— and they were almost never in a situation where it was just the two of them anyway. It would have been far too awkward to bring it up around his brother and half-sister, even though he knew they were both in his corner.

He didn’t really expect to have a big talk about their future while putting together a school project, but maybe it would still feel like a good step.

He’d wanted to seem as comfortable and at-ease as possible, to remind her that things could still go back to how they’d once been even though he wasn’t quite who she’d once thought.

The fact that he didn’t really understand why she’d been holding back was the most unsettling part of all. His brother and Nat tried to assure him that she was probably just processing things, and trying to figure out when she was ready to launch back in. But, sometimes, Jordan’s worries got the better of him.

Maybe she’d realized that she was simply happier when they weren’t dating.

Maybe her feelings for him had completely faded.

Or, worse, maybe she didn’t want to be with a guy who could shoot fire out of his eyes and defy gravity.

He knew Sarah was an open minded person, and she’d certainly given no indication of prejudice. But it wasn’t impossible. He was still weirded out by the fact that he wasn’t entirely human. And she’d seen the sort of chaos his family often faced. Could he really blame her if she wanted to be with someone a little more normal?

Unfortunately, it was those thoughts that prickled to the forefront as he’d made his way over to Sarah’s house that Saturday afternoon to work on the assignment.

Despite his efforts to pep-talk himself into a cool and confident state, he knew that he wasn’t. He’d been feeling jittery since he’d woken up that morning and even a few laps around the continent with his dad hadn’t done much to quell the nervous energy.

He’d resigned himself to running over with his worries surging at full force. After taking a deep breath he’d forced himself to knock on the door, unable to ignore how jittery he was at the prospect of an afternoon alone with his former girlfriend.

As he’d suspected, her sister and mom were out. It was really just going to be them. He certainly didn’t expect anything to happen (and clearly her mother didn’t either if she’d left the house empty) but it was still daunting after all this time.

Jordan knew that if things felt formal and awkward the entire time, he wasn’t going to be reassured about their overall prospects.

Unfortunately, things did start that way.

Sarah welcomed him in and led him quietly towards the kitchen table where she’d spread out a few books and papers that she’d already gathered for the project. Each group had been told to chose a country to research and present information on, and he’d easily gone with her suggestion that they pick Mexico. She had a decent supply of books and family artefacts that they could use, which is why they’d chosen her house over the farm.

Unlike Sarah, Jordan didn’t have connections to a place that would work for this particular assignment. He couldn’t exactly bring the spaceship in the cellar in for their presentation or openly admit that half of his ancestors had lived on another planet. For obvious reasons, she was going to be the one to take the lead.

After offering him a glass of water they settled into the table. It was impossible not to notice that the easy banter they still had when in a group situation wasn’t yet flowing. Sarah was looking resolutely towards the stack of books, and she quickly started talking about the different sections of the project.

Was she nervous too? Or simply hoping to get this over with as quickly as possible?

Jordan swallowed, increasingly convinced that that day would be all business and no progress on any other front. That was okay, he tried to convince himself. He’d give it time and keep hoping for the best.

But the growing sense of disappointment was undeniable.

He tried his hardest to show that he was focused on the project too. They divvied up the sub-topics and agreed to start marking off the relevant pages in the books. It was a little hard to focus on the passages about Mexico’s natural resources but he managed to take the necessary notes by pretending that she wasn’t, in fact, sitting two feel away with her pencil adorably sticking out from behind her ear.

He probably should have suggested that they work on their sections alone, he realized as he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans for the sixth time. But the thought of coming over had been too much to resist the other day.

Of course he’d been stupid to think that it might turn into a fun and casual hangout— one that would remind her of the good times they used to have together.

This was two classmates completing a school project and nothing more. He tried to bite back a sigh and he let that sink in.

The disappointment rippling through him, he closed the first book and looked towards the rest of the pile.

“Do you think any of the other ones would have a bit more information about natural resources?” he asked, finally breaking through the silence that had fallen since they’d started their first rounds of research.

Sarah looked up, the sunlight behind her casting a soft glow around her wavy hair. He couldn’t help but remember how good it had once felt to run his fingers through it, but it seemed pretty apparent that those days were over now.

He tried to push the thought away.

“Uh,” she paused, scanning the pile before giving a shake of her head, “probably just this one,” she said, pointing towards the thickest tome, “but it’s in Spanish. I can translate that bit for you after I finish this page.”

Jordan smiled and reached out for the book anyway. Secretly happy that he might have found his first real conversation starter of the afternoon. And hoping he might impress her a bit too.

“That’s fine actually,” he said, opening it up to scan the table of contents, “I’m pretty fluent now. I can read it.”

Unsurprisingly, Sarah’s eyes widened at the declaration. Jordan tried not to look too pleased about that fact.

Cool and casual.

That’s what the day was all about.

“Wait, really?” she asked, eyes moving over him as if she was looking for some sort of proof. “How? Since when?”

Jordan shrugged. “Well I got put in Spanish instead of French last year when I transferred, and it turns out I’m really good at languages. The class didn’t get us too far, but I finished working through the textbook on my own a little while ago and I watched some Spanish TV to solidify things. My dad says I’ve got a good handle on it now.”

He threw the last part in without thinking. It had been his father who’d tested and confirmed his skills a few weeks ago, and he’d been quite pleased with himself at the time. He’d started working through a Mandarin textbook the day after, excited about his newfound knack for this, and his dad had promised to teach him and his brother Kryptonian at the Fortress that summer.

Jordan really hadn’t thought much of it at the time, it was just another dad thing he was now used to, but the look Sarah was suddenly giving him caused an unexpected jitter of discomfort.

“Your dad speaks Spanish too?” she asked, raising a skeptical brow, “why?”

Suddenly, Jordan realized that a simple desire to share something he was proud of had already taken a weird turn.

So much for acting normal and showing her that he was still the same guy she’d always known.

“Oh, uh, well he makes rescues all over the world, so he kinda has to know every language,” he explained, realizing that things were getting stranger and stranger the more he spoke.

He couldn’t deny it— his family was definitely different. And he’d just highlighted one of the lesser known reasons why.

“Every language,” Sarah repeated, the awe apparent, “I didn’t think that was possible. How can he remember all of that?”

Despite his best efforts, Jordan felt a slight flush rising in his cheeks. Sarah always asked good questions that got right to the heart of the matter and he couldn’t really think of a way to brush this one off. He was going to have to tell the truth.

“It’s a Kryptonian thing,” he replied, attempting another shrug. “W—they’re good at remembering languages.”

He stumbled awkwardly through his explanation, feeling a bit weird about the fact that he’d tried to distance himself from all of that.

He was fine with who he was. Really. But something about his desire to impress Sarah and get things back to normal was making it hard to show that.

He wished he hadn’t brought this up at all.

Sarah, however, didn’t seem to see any distance.

“So that’s how you managed to learn Spanish with one semester of classes and a few TV shows,” she mused aloud. There was no judgement there, but the surprise was apparent. And there was no doubt that she easily lumped him in with his dad.

Frankly, Jordan was pretty sure his fast acquisition did come down to his genes. But he hadn’t really wanted to get into that.

If Sarah had been holding back because he was different, this wasn’t going to help.

“Is it a superpower thing?”

“Uh, no. More like a brain capacity thing,” he answered quickly before dropping his gaze towards the book, hoping that she didn’t press it further.

Thankfully, she didn’t. But he was pretty sure he could feel her eyes on him for another long moment before they both (semi-awkwardly) got back to work.

As he’d predicted, he had no trouble reading the Spanish text. He added a few more notes to his natural resources section, his mind still searching for a way to strike up a conversation in a way that didn’t lead back to his growing oddities.

For a while, he came up blank. Then, he decided just to be his awkward self and try babbling on about the first thing that came to mind.

“Oh cool,” he said, with a bit of forced enthusiasm, “I had no idea Mexico has the largest silver mines in the world.”

Sarah looked up again and he was relieved to see a spark of interest on her face. Maybe it wasn’t the most exciting conversation starter, but at least it was something.

“Yeah, totally,” she affirmed with a nod, “my great grandfather actually worked in the silver mine near Santa Elena. My Abuela has all sorts of stories he used to tell her about it,” Sarah paused thoughtfully, “I might be able to ask her about it tomorrow at dinner, actually.”

He detected another flash of excitement (apparently, this had been a better topic than he’d expected). A second later, her chair was scraping against the kitchen floor and she was standing up, head turning towards the hallway.

“That totally reminds me, he used to have a pretty cool rock and mineral collection. Some of it was stuff he brought with him when he moved to America,” she glanced down towards the book in front of Jordan, which happened to be open to a page with a diagram of several native minerals in the region. “Give me a minute, I think my dad actually kept it up in the attic after he died. If I find it, we can add it to our display.”

He’d never expected her to get so enthusiastic about this, but he couldn’t help but smile. He loved when she was excited about something and, apparently, sharing this old family collection was something she wanted to do.

It wasn’t really his thing, but he was more than happy to roll with it. The relief that they’d possibly broken through the initial awkwardness was enough to get him enthused too.

He offered to help her in the attic but she’d insisted that he stay put. He waited at the table as she pulled the ceiling latch in the hallway and went up.

He tapped his pencil against the table as he sat, letting his ears drift towards a gentle brook he sometimes latched onto for a sense of calm.

Things could have been worse, he silently reassured himself. He’d managed to push past one weird conversation and it seemed that they’d moved on now.

Even if they mostly just talked about the project, he could still prove that hanging out alone wasn’t too bad.

Plus she probably wouldn’t dwell too much on his weird brain and it’s ability to absorb a new language in record time. At least leaning a language was a normal thing. It was way less strange then most of the other things he could do.

Maybe there was still hope that she’d primarily see him as a regular guy. As glad as he was that she knew the truth, he still wanted her to focus on the person beneath the unusual abilities. Aside from those first conversations after the big reveal, she hadn’t asked him too many questions about what he could do and he’d been grateful for that. Part of him did want to talk about it more openly with one of the few people he could— and even show her a few demonstrations.

But the unknown status between them had caused him to him hold off.

They were starting again.

He wanted to start by showing her that he was really just Jordan. The rest could follow after he was sure that he had made that clear.

He was a regular guy working on a regular school project (…with a girl he was still very into). That’s all he needed to be today.

The sound of footsteps from behind him snapped him away from the soothing water, but he quickly turned and put on a smile as she approached.

It was hard not to smile when he saw her, despite everything else.

He was glad when she smiled back, and even happier when he thought he could detect a slight pinkness in her cheeks (did she still find him cute? He certainly hoped so).

“Did you find it?” he asked, eyeing the old box she was carrying in her arms.

He’d been expecting one of those plastic containers with little sections that rock collectors tended to use, but this was much heftier than that.

It was dark black, with a few carvings. It looked more like a treasure chest than anything else.

He watched as Sarah placed it on the table and blew off a thick layer of dust.

She coughed, and he pretended to a bit, even though the plume that hit had face didn’t cause any actual discomfort. His dad had been teaching him how to emulate others’ reactions to every day things and he’d become quite attuned to that.

He was pretty sure that he’d successfully pulled it off. Sarah didn’t shoot him a look or question the authenticity at all.

Her eyes were firmly fixed on what she’d found.

“I knew it was there,” she proclaimed proudly, satisfaction apparent, “it’s not all from Mexico— he kept collecting after he moved here. But some of it is definitely from down there. Hopefully a few of them are enough like the pictures in the book that we can figure out what’s what.”

“Yeah, totally. Let’s do it.”

Jordan urged her on, very aware of the fact that she was standing even closer to him now. That was nice, even if it meant nothing at all.

At least they were spending time together. Doing a totally normal thing.

Sarah fumbled with the clasp for a moment before pulling the lid back.

There was a sizeable pile of fist-sized stones inside, of various shapes and colours.

He was pretty sure that they’d be able to identify most of them but, unfortunately, he only had half a second for that thought to cross his mind before something far more distracting took hold.

For a moment, there was simply a pinching sensation between his brows.

He’d had headaches before, and it wasn’t a totally unfamiliar thing. But as he reached up to rub the spot with a grimace a sinking feeling also began to set in.

Yes, he’d felt aches and pains in the past. But he didn’t tend to anymore. He’d become pretty damn invincible lately and his grandmother had declared that he probably wasn’t prone to human ailments now that his solar absorption had passed a certain tipping point.

“Jordan, are you okay?”

He felt a flash of panic and the real elation began to take hold. Sarah had already noticed, which meant he’d quickly become visibly ill.

He did feel sick.

Very sick.

His stomach was churning uncomfortably and the pain in his forehead was rapidly beginning to spread. He felt weak, and sore. It was as if every fibre of his being was suddenly prickling with a welling fire.

Every instinct told him to back away.

There was only one thing that could cause this. And only a couple of people on this planet who would be effected in such a way.

Panic growing, Jordan abruptly stood up— but as he pushed back on his chair he accidentally pulled on the armrest, ripping it off effortlessly with a loud crack.

Despite the growing pain throughout his body, he stared at his hand in shock and horror, allowing the splinters of wood to clatter to the kitchen floor as he backed up towards the nearest wall.

“Holy crap, Jordan! Are you okay?” he could hear Sarah’s worried voice, even if it sounded as if it was somehow underwater.  Everything was muddled now.

All he could feel was the pain, and the shock from what he’d just done.

Suddenly, in one terrible moment, he’d ruined everything.

He’d just wanted things to be normal. To ease back towards something better by proving that they could have a relaxed afternoon in each other’s company.

Instead, he’d destroyed the kitchen furniture and proven that he couldn’t be in the same room as a stupid space rock.

He looked towards the chest, eyes landing on a half-buried hunk of glowing green.

It was the final confirmation that his suspicions had been right.

“Close it,” he managed to rasp out, nodding towards the box. His neck burned with the small effort that took. “Close the box.”

Sarah looked confused and dazed, but she managed to snap out of it quickly. She darted back towards the table, looking down at the pile for one last moment before quickly snapping the lid shut.

The relief was instant.

He was far from fully recovered, but the oppressive pulsing pain seemed to stop building. He was just left with the remnants of it, and a sickening weakness unlike anything he’d ever felt before.

The only thing that came close was the time he’d had a second-hand infection from his dad. But that had been from some weird synthetic Kryptonite and he hadn’t actually been around it.

This was his first time being near one of those rocks in person.

And it had been even worse than he’d anticipated.

“What the hell happened? Why was that green one glowing?” Sarah asked, still looking towards the old chest. She seemed to be talking more to herself then to him in a moment of disbelief. But, since he’d already proven what a freak he was, he answered anyway.

“It was glowing because I’m here,” he said grimly, steadying his body against the wall as he tried to ignore the pain and exhaustion that was still pulsing through. “It’s Kryptonite.”

“As in the stuff Superman is allergic to?”

He nodded slowly, knowing there was no use denying it.

Everyone knew what Kryptonite was. Lex Luthor had made sure of that years ago, just to make his dad’s life even more difficult.

And now it was making his life more difficult too.

“Yeah,” he began again, letting out a shaky breath. “But not just Superman. All—“ his voice hitched for a moment and he could feel a slight prickle behind his eyes as he tried to keep his head held high. “All Kryptonians are allergic to it.”

He stopped short of labelling himself but there was no doubt that she’d put all the pieces together. It was impossible not to.

He’d just had a terrible reaction to a remnant of another planet— a planet he had just as much connection to as this one— proving in a dramatic way exactly what he was.

“Oh God, Jordan. I’m so sorry! I had no idea he had that in there. He must have collected without even realizing what it was.” Sarah looked like she was about to move towards him for a second but then she visibly hesitated. His heart sank at the thought.

The pile of splintered wood from the chair he’d destroyed lay on the floor between them.

Maybe she was scared to come any closer. He hated this.

It made the lump grow in his throat.

But he couldn’t blame her for it. The truth was, he could destroy this entire house in a matter of seconds if he wanted to. Obviously he’d never do anything like that, but simply realizing what he was truly capable of was scary enough.

It still scared him sometimes.

“Can I—do you need something? Water? Tylenol? An cold compress?”

What he really needed in that moment was to turn back time and prevent her from ever seeing him like that.

But it was clearly far too late.

Her brown eyes were wide, and he had no idea what sort of frantic thoughts were probably running through her mind.

Maybe he should have agreed to take the human remedies he knew wouldn’t work. Just to salvage the last vestiges of his facade.

But the regret and sadness welled up within him and he decided not to try.

“No,” he said shakily, realizing that he had stumbled back towards the screen door that led out to the backyard. As he extended his arm into a beam of light he could feel the first tingles of relief.

Despite the ongoing stress of the situation, he let out a small breath of relief before stumbling awkwardly to the side and pulling open the sliding door.

He’d destroyed any hope of patching things up with Sarah but, physically, he knew he’d be okay.

“Just the sun. I need the sun.”

He backed up onto the deck, knowing that he probably looked and sounded like a ridiculous mess.

His only solace in that moment was the warming tingle as the light began to heal his body from the exposure.

Finally moving, Sarah took a few steps in that direction. Still not bridging the insurmountable gap between them but still watching him with that same wide-eyed and confused gaze.

“The sun? How is that going to help?”

He felt a stab of discomfort at her simple question—and a flash of anger too. Not at her, but at the entire stupid situation and his ridiculously weird biology.

A simple afternoon of working on a school project together had somehow descended into this.

Because of who he was.

What he was.

“It helps because I’m an alien, Sarah,” he snapped with more bluntness than he’d anticipated. He didn’t want her to think he was angry with her, but the overwhelming swell of emotion was making it hard to keep things in check.

She flinched a bit at the declaration.

“Yeah, but like, not really.”

She stumbled over her words, clearly still trying to process it all, and that only spurned him on further.

He’d already ruined everything, he reasoned. He might as well make things as clear as possible.

He obviously couldn’t pretend anymore.

He’d never been very good at pretending.

“Of course I am,” he began again, the discomfort surging within, despite the healing force of the yellow light. This was the opposite of what he’d hoped to talk about that day, but he plunged in anyway.

“I can’t even sit next to a stupid green rock without having a total breakdown. Because I’m Kryptonain— and I’m pretty sure my body is becoming less human by the day,” he said boldly, voicing a worry he hadn’t even raised with his own parents yet. He’d felt that way for a while, but he hadn’t had the nerve to bring it up. For some reason, in that moment, he just wanted to lay it out there with one of the few people he could.

“Jordan—“

He wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. But if she wanted to deny it again then he knew he couldn’t take it right now.

“I need to go.”

He cut her off abruptly, sending her one last look before making another snap decision. He wasn’t in perfect shape, and the Kryptonite-induced exhaustion still lingered, but he knew he’d recovered enough to make an unusual exit.

Frankly, he was willing to do anything to get away from her worried and confused gaze as quickly as he could right now.

A second later, Jordan launched himself upwards, Sarah’s surprised gasp echoing in his ears.

He tried to leave it behind.

He wanted to leave everything behind.

He hurled towards the open sky, the wind rushing past his face and the sun charging every cell.

Jordan didn’t know where he was going or when he would stop, but he kept moving forward.

It felt like there was no choice now that his final glimmers of hope had been lost.

Chapter Text

He tried to focus on the light as much as he possibly could.

He didn’t know exactly where he was— on the top of a desert mountain somewhere, by the looks of it. Possibly in Nevada or Arizona. After leaving Sarah’s place he’d flown straight upwards, then darted down at an angle and made a rough landing at the first sunny and secluded spot he’d seen.

As always, when he’d paused to look below while hovering high above the Earth, he’d been struck by how undeniably distanced he felt from everything on the planet. He could hear the cacophony of sound— hear people going about their daily lives. And yet there he was, defying gravity and absorbing solar energy like an alien as he recovered from a disastrous encounter with something most people wouldn’t bat an eye at.

Why had he ever thought there was the slightest chance he could fit in?

He knew that there were a lot of good things about his strange fate. And most of the time, he did embrace it. But today, after everything, the anxiety he felt about his differences surged to the forefront.

Jordan just wanted to forget it all, which was an impossible feat while his body literally tingled under the rejuvenating light. So he’d decided to give himself over to it instead. He leaned back on his arms, hoodie thrown carelessly towards the crater he’d created when he’d landed. Head angled upwards and eyes closed, he drank it in greedily. Thinking of nothing else except that unparalleled sensation.

That was how his father found him a couple of minutes later.

He’d been so focused on drowning everything else out that he hadn’t heard him land until the last second. When he did, his eyes snapped open abruptly and a slight flush rose on his cheeks.

His father looked relieved to see him. And he clearly knew exactly why he’d come to a spot like this. Even though it was something they had done together before, Jordan suddenly felt embarrassed. He hastily grabbed his hoodie and shoved it back over his white tee, stuffing his hands into the pocket as he hunched over moodily.

“Hey dad,” he mumbled, wondering if the man had already noticed the careless dent he’d left in the stone beside him too. He should have been more careful with his landing, and he should have known that he’d inevitably come.

“Jordan, I’m so glad you’re okay,” his father surveyed him quickly, the words slipping out with palpable relief. He’d clearly been worried about him and, while it was nice to know that he cared, Jordan wasn’t really in the mood to be coddled. Nor did he want to think about what had just happened.

As always, however, he had no choice but to face his weird reality.

“Sarah called and told us what happened,” he dad explained hesitantly as he sat down on the rock face next to him. He blinked up towards the relentless sun for a moment too, undoubtedly feeling it just as strongly.

Jordan couldn’t help but scowl at the news. Again, it was nice to know that the people in his life were looking out for him, but he hadn’t wanted this.

A normal afternoon at Sarah’s had turned into a terrible encounter with Kryptonite and a frantic call to his parents. How was he supposed to live this down and convince her that he could offer her a normal life?

Obviously, he couldn’t.

“I’m fine, dad,” he replied, looking down towards the dusty mountain top and running his hands anxiously across the stones.

These rocks didn’t hurt him, at least.

As if to prove it, he picked up an apple-sized one and squeezed it tightly in his hand. It easily buckled beneath his grip with minimal effort, turning into a pile of orange dust which he allowed to scatter into the breeze.

“See?” he started again, brushing the remnants off on the side of his pants, “a bit of sun and I’m back to being a perfectly healthy Kryptonian teenager,” he declared, the bitterness seeping in.

“Jordan.”

He snapped his head around, shooing his dad a challenging gaze as if daring him to deny it. If he’d been planning to, it worked. His father let out a soft breath before changing course.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, but I know what Kryptonite feels like. I remember the first time I felt it.  And it can still be terrifying, even now,” he paused, reaching out to give Jordan’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “if you want to talk about it, I’m—“

“What is there to talk about?” Jordan cut him off, knowing he sounded more petulant than he had in a long time. The tense moments with his dad had gradually faded over the past couple of years and, even though he wasn’t mad at him right now, the overwhelming emotions were setting him back.

He felt a flash of annoyance, even though he wasn’t entirely sure why.

He also wasn’t sure why everything suddenly came spilling out, despite his proclamation that he didn’t want to talk.

“Sarah was showing me a rock collection for a school project and my stupid alien body couldn’t even handle it. I just wanted a normal afternoon, and then that awful thing started glowing and I couldn’t even pretend anymore. I tore a chair apart, and she looked at me like…like she couldn’t possibly understand. Because she can’t.”

His breath hitched in his throat and he quickly wiped away a bit of welling moisture near his eyes with his oversized sleeve. He knew he was being ridiculous but, for some reason, he couldn’t help it.

He hated all of the terrible feelings that were swirling inside. And he knew he was sitting next to one of the few people on the planet who could actually get it. In a way that his former girlfriend obviously couldn’t.

“I don’t even know why I’m surprised,” he continued, looking down in hopes that his dad wouldn’t see his tear-filled gaze, “you’ve literally been giving me lessons on how to act human, because I’m bad at it. It takes actual effort just to blend in and when Kryptonite is involved, I literally can’t. It’s impossible not to feel like I shouldn’t even be here— like I’ll never belong.”

He heard his father take another long breath, and he was pretty sure this was an emotional topic for him too.

They’d touched on it before, of course. They’d talked about how it could be a challenge to feel different than those around you.

But the Kryptonite had driven that home now more than ever.

In the worst possible circumstances.

“When I felt the Kryptonite— when I knew it was effecting me because of what I am— I’ve never felt so terrifyingly different in my life.”

He thought back to the scene in the kitchen— thought about Sarah’s confusion, and how fundamentally different they’d always be.

His dominant genes placed him firmly under the heading of an entirely different species. It was an undeniably unsettling thought.

“Jordan, you can’t help it. It’s not your fault.”

He knew his father meant well, but his strained voice caused another flash of annoyance. Jordan knew where this was going if he didn’t stop it. He’d seen his dad descend into uncomfortable levels of guilt before and he wasn’t in the mood for that. It would probably just make everything seem worse.

“It’s also not your fault, dad,” he shot back testily, refusing to go down that path.

“It’s no one’s fault,” Jordan started again, shoving his hands back into the hoodie, “the planet we’re best suited for is gone, and the only thing left of it are deadly green space rocks that make us sick. It sucks. But it is what it is, I guess.”

He finally looked towards his dad who was starring back with a grim-faced expression. Jordan knew that he was being pretty blunt, and that his dad tended to like discussing things in a more optimistic way— but what had happened made everything feel pretty stark and undeniable. Bluntness seemed to be his mantra for the day.

Thankfully, his father seemed to sense that and (unlike sometimes) he didn’t try to soften things.

“Trust me, I know how hard that can feel and how isolating it can be,” he admitted, nodding as his own memories of similar circumstances undoubtedly welled up.

There was comfort in knowing that he wasn’t completely alone, but even that could only go so far.

It didn’t change the life he faced, or his inability to spend a simple afternoon with a girl he was into.

“You’re right,” his dad continued, extending a hand into the sunlight around them, “we can’t change who we are or how we react to certain things. But this is home, and even if it feels hard sometimes, there are ways to adapt— and people who will always love you exactly as you are.”

He knew that.

Of course he did.

He’d always be grateful for his family, and for the people like John Henry and Nat who had become their trusted inner circle. Jordan knew he’d always have a place.

But, for a little while at least, he’d hoped for even more. And hoped that things would be easier.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, finally allowing some of the tension in his shoulders to ease. He picked at the rocks beside him again, crushing a smaller one beneath his thumb before he continued, “I guess I just thought things would be better— you know, after Sarah finally knew the truth.”

He shrugged awkwardly, cheeks heating up a bit at his thoughts drifted back to her.

He couldn’t help but think about that day during the street festival— when they’d found a private spot and he’d finally told her everything that had happened over the past two years. That had felt so incredibly good, and he’d loved being able to open up after all the secrecy.

She’d listened with rapt attention, nodding and asking a few questions as he went. He’d been somewhat nervous, but she hadn’t made him feel judged. She told him she wanted to start again.

At the time, he’d assumed that meant more than friendship.

He’s been wrong, and he didn’t know where they stood nowadays.

“I thought telling her the truth would fix everything. But it didn’t.”

He said that last part softly, embarrassed to admit that he’d probably been wrong. He’d once begged his dad to let him tell her, and the man had pushed back against it. At the time, he’d been sure that his dad just didn’t get it.

But maybe he did.

Hard as it was to admit, maybe he’d been right.

“I know bud,” his father said, offering a sad smile. Thankfully, he didn’t say ‘I told you so’ or seem the least bit smug.

All Jordan could detect was sympathy and understanding.

He could settle for that.

“People aren’t always going to react how we want them to, and life doesn’t always go to plan,” his dad continued, “I’m sorry things haven’t been going exactly the way you want, but I know that Sarah was really worried about you today. She seems like a really good friend, and I have a feeling she’ll be there for you when you want to talk, and that’s definitely a good thing.”

Jordan let out a long sigh. That was probably all true, and he was definitely relieved that (apparently) she’d been worried about his well being rather than freaked out by his alienness. It wasn’t exactly what he’d envisioned, and he still wished that afternoon had played out differently, but perhaps it could have been worse.

Still, the persistent worries nagged at the back of his mind.

Maybe she’d been both worried and freaked out. That was possible too.

“I can’t really blame her if she doesn’t want to be with someone like me,” he said aloud, voicing one of the things he’d only ever said to his brother before this. He could see his dad fight off a flinch but he didn’t interrupt. “She’s already been through a lot of crazy stuff because of me,   and I’ll never be normal.”

Again, and somewhat surprisingly, his dad didn’t attempt to disagree.

“No, you won’t be,” he affirmed, giving his shoulder another gentle squeeze, “but the right person is going to accept that wholeheartedly. I promise.”

That, at least, brought a genuine smile to them both. As weird as things could be, his parents’ lives provided the best reassurance there was— and Jordan couldn’t stop himself from asking one last question.

Something that he hadn’t inquired about head-on before.

“When you first told mom, what did she do?”

His father smiled again, a nostalgic twinkle in his eye as he thought back to that moment. Jordan knew that he’d done it on the farm, by hovering over the fields. (Which was admittedly more romantic than a frantic flash or red in the school hallway). They’d been in their late 20s, at a time when they lives were already well-established.

Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what parallels, if any, he could draw.

“You know what your mother is like,” his dad began with a soft chuckle, the mere thought of his wife clearly filling him with delight, “she yelled at me— then she kissed me. Then she insisted that I take her flying.”

Jordan snorted, easily able to picture his parents in such a scene.

“Did she want to start all over again?” he pressed.

His dad furrowed his brow a bit, not quite understanding the significance of the question.

“No,” he replied, “she wanted to keep going. And we did.”

Jordan nodded, swallowing back the slight sinking feeling that answer brought.

Every situation was different, and he had no idea what the future held.

But, for the first time in a long time, he wondered if he’d been holding on too tightly to an impossible dream.

“I think I’m ready to head back, dad,” he said, looking up towards the sun for a moment longer before he finally stood up.

No matter what lay ahead, he knew he’d have to face it eventually.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jordan gave himself twenty-four hours to cool off before heading back to Sarah’s.

By Sunday afternoon, he was feeling better than he had been before and he knocked on the front door less nervously than he had the previous day.

For better or worse, knowing that he wasn’t going to attempt to hide anything or pretend to be normal this time was reassuring. He smiled as confidently as he could when she came to the front door and he suggested that they take a little walk before heading inside to get back to work on the project.

She agreed easily, seemingly glad to see that he was okay, and they set off down the road after a slightly awkward wave to her mom. His dad had come by the previous night to assure them that all was well, and that Jordan was safe to be around when unexpected Kryptonite wasn’t in the mix. He couldn’t help but wonder if she was wary after seeing the kitchen chair, but at least she didn’t stop them. That was enough for now.

They walked in silence for a few moments, putting some distance between them and the nearest house, before Sarah finally spoke.

“What’s in the bag?” she asked, nodding down to the paper bag he was carrying at his side. He was happy to break the ice that way and he shot her a proud smile.

Yes. Embracing the weirdness was definitely going to be way better.

“I took a quick trip down to Mexico before coming over,” he said honestly, turning it so that she could see the writing on the front, “I grabbed us some authentic tacos. Figured it would be a good snack to psych us up for the project.”

Her eyes had grown understandably round, but a reassuring laugh bubbled up too. He was glad the gesture was going down well.

“Wanna eat them on the bench?”

He nodded towards the nearby parkette and they set off in that direction.

“So how long does crossing half a continent take, then?” she asked curiously as they clomped across the overgrown grass together.

It wasn’t a popular spot, which was probably a good thing considering the topic at hand.

“I mean, you took off pretty fast yesterday. But it’s hard to know what speed that actually is.”

The truth was, he didn’t have a number to put on the speed of Kryptonian flight either. But he could give a rough time estimate, at least.

“It takes me about fifteen seconds to get to Mexico,” he said as casually as he could. Saying that still brought up a weird jitter, but he was as calm as he could be.

Maybe it was because she’d just seen the worst and most blatant evidence of what he was the previous day, but he suddenly felt far more at ease than ever before.

“My dad can do it in about five, but my grandmother says I’ll catch up eventually. The longer I absorb the sun the stronger and faster I get.”

He noticed her smile fade a bit at that, and she looked towards him with a furrowed brow. Perhaps remembering his frantic stumbling towards the light yesterday.

He’d told her a lot since the truth came out. Especially in those first few days. But he definitely hadn’t touched on everything,  and his relationship hopes had made the conversations feel more and more awkward as time went on.

“Right, the sun,” she repeated to herself, as if trying to commit that to memory, “so it’s the sun that gives you your abilities? And you’ll eventually catch up with your dad?”

He settled into the bench and waited for her to do the same before replying.

“Earth’s yellow sun is way more powerful then the red one Krypton had. It’s the reason for everything, really. Kryptonian cells get supercharged by it and that’s why I have powers. And yeah, as far as anyone can tell I’ll just keep charging up until I’m exactly like my dad,” he tried to shrug it off, hoping he didn’t sound arrogant about it or anything. He just wanted to lay out the facts.

Come what may.

“That’s why I needed to get outside yesterday,” he continued to explain. After the way he’d bolted, he just wanted to smooth things over and help her understand. “But I’m really sorry for panicking and I’m sorry if I scared you— it was the first time I’d been around actual Kryptonite and it was way worse than I thought.”

“No, Jordan, it’s totally okay,” she piped in, waving her hands in front of her for emphasis. “I’m just sorry I opened that box. I never wanted you to get hurt, and I can only imagine how it felt.”

He appreciated the sentiment. It was genuine, and he was increasingly sure that it was the situation, rather than who he was, that had freaked her out. He offered her a reassuring smile.

“You didn’t know,” he replied, “and you don’t have to try to imagine it— you’re lucky that you’ll never have to experience it. You’re completely human, and I’m definitely not. I’m just trying to accept that there are pros and cons to both.”

Her expression was serious, and he couldn’t quite tell what she was thinking. But he did his best not to overanalyze it.

That never seemed to get him anywhere, and he’d spent the previous evening telling himself that he’d try to stop.

They’d never get anywhere if he fixated on every little thing. Even if that was his natural tendency, he knew he could put in a conscious effort and work on it.

If he could walk through a world he wasn’t built for without destroying it, then surely he could manage that.

“Yeah, I suppose there are,” Sarah mused with a thoughtful nod.

Jordan smiled, eyes flickering towards one of the most obvious positives of his peculiar situation.

“One big plus is that I can get food from wherever I want any time,” he said lightheartedly, gesturing towards the bag of tacos. They smelled great and, even though he didn’t tend to get hungry in the traditional sense nowadays, he was eager to eat some. “And if we need anything else to enhance the project, I can zip back down to Mexico and grab it. Guaranteed A plus,” he added with a cheeky smile.

Sarah let out another laugh, smirking back in amusement before finally reaching down towards the bag and pulling out the first delicious treat.

“Yeah, I’d say there are some definite perks to having Superboy on your team,” she joked with a playful twinkle, leaning over to give him a nudge in the side.

Maybe it was flirty. Maybe it wasn’t.

After taking a breath, Jordan decided to try focusing on the moment.

For a change.

He plucked out a taco too, unwrapping it carefully before taking a satisfying bite.

Sarah did the same and they shared a smile together on the sunny bench, just a few yards from the spot where he’d once confessed to her that he was in love.

He was pretty sure that he still was, at least in some ways. But he found himself wondering about the many ways in which that love could evolve.

Maybe they’d move back towards what they’d once had, or maybe this friendship as it was would become a stabilizing force in his life.

All he knew for certain was that she was still here, happy to share a moment together. And that he could finally feel at ease as he revealed every part of who he was.

If that’s what starting over meant, then it was already good enough.