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“He should have gone on ‘My Super Sweet 16!”
“Mmmm, so he could cry when his parents got him the wrong colour Lamborghini!”
“Exactly!”
Ok, we’re here. We’re alone… Now what? How do I do this?
We’re alone. This is what he wanted wasn’t it? Somewhere quieter.
I hope I’m not just imagining this. Does he want me to sit down next to him? I’m going to sit down next to him.
He’s sitting next to me. It’s a good start. What do I say?
What do I even want right now? I thought I had this figured out. I have no idea what to do.
“So. Was Harry being serious? Do you like Tara?”
Please say no!
Fucking Harry! I don’t like Tara.
”What? No. No. Definitely not.”
I wish people would get off the idea of me and Tara!
“Ah…”
He doesn’t like Tara. That’s awesome. Maybe there is something then. Maybe he has been flirting.
Oh my God. There’s a chance. I wonder if he has a crush at all.
“So you… don’t… have a crush on anyone at the moment?”
Oh my God. What if he says yes? At least I knew about Tara.
A crush on anyone? Of course I do! It’s you Charlie! I’m crushing on you so bad.
How do I say that to him? I can’t just come out and say it like that. He’s asking
if I don’t have a crush because I don’t like Tara. I didn’t say that though. I do have a crush!
“Well… I didn’t say that.”
What the fuck? Why am I playing games? I should have just told him.
“Oh…”
So, he does like someone.
Crap, now he’s upset. Why couldn’t I just say it? Why did I have to be such a smart ass?
Be a good friend… come on. Just coz he has a crush, doesn’t mean you can’t still be his friend.
Now what? Where do we go from here? What do I say? The conversation is lost.
You shouldn’t have got your hopes up. It was a long shot anyway. He’s your best friend. Be supportive.
“So… What’s she like then?”
I’ll be your gay best friend and help you get the girl. At least I’ll still get to spend time with you.
She? He really hasn’t picked up on it yet? How many signs have I given him?
Maybe the signs aren’t as clear as I thought.
“You’re… just going to assume they’re a ‘she’?”
There it is. Hope. In his eyes. Is he finally getting it? Charlie! It’s you!
Wait… What!?
“Are they…”
What? What? What?
“…are they not a girl?”
Is it possible that Nick could like boys?
Shit! Why is this harder to say than I thought?
“Um….”
Is it possible he could like me?
I thought it’d be easier when it was just us two, alone.
Did he just say that his crush is on a boy!?
What do I say? I have no idea what to say.
Be careful Charlie. Be so careful what you say next.
How do I tell him? All I want to do is tell him I like him. My crush is on you Charlie! I like you!
I want to hold your hand. I want to figure out what all this means.
“Would you go out with someone who wasn’t a girl?”
Go out with? You mean like date? I hadn’t really thought about that. I just wanted to hang out and see what happened.
“I don’t know.”
The idea doesn’t sound so bad though… if it was with you.
“Maybe.”
Yeah, going out with Charlie. I could do that.
Maybe! He said maybe. He’s seriously considering boys. He’s definitely not straight.
Tao has been so wrong. Tori called it. He can’t be straight if he’d say maybe to going out with a boy.
It’s silent again. Shit. What do I say? Charlie, say something. I don’t know what to say.
I have to be closer to him. Just my foot perhaps. I wonder if he’s thought about kissing a boy.
That’s quite different to going out. If he’s a maybe on going out, maybe he’s a yes on kissing. Just to try it.
Be strategic Charlie. His hand is on the floor next to you. You can use that.
“Would you kiss someone… who wasn’t a girl?”
If he says yes, then I’ll kiss him. I’ll ask him if he wants to. Oh my God. I might actually get to kiss Nick!
Kiss not a girl? Kiss a boy? Me? Kiss a boy? Shit. I hadn’t really thought about that.
I just wanted to hold your hand and see what happened. This is getting a bit scary.
“I don’t know…”
He’s not sure. He looks scared. Shit. Was that too far?
I’m in too deep. I don’t know what to do now. How do I get out?
This was a mistake. I don’t know if I can do this. I thought I could, but…
… oh God. His finger. Touching mine. That’s what I wanted to test the other night.
This feels different to the drums. This… this is… what was that about kissing before? Can I change my answer?
“Would you kiss me?”
Ummm yes! Yes, Charlie! I’ll kiss you. Don’t just brush my finger. Here… have mine in yours.
“Yeah…”
What? He said yes!? He would kiss me. Oh my God. Do it now, before he chickens out.
Oh wow. This is really happening. He’s leaning in to kiss me. Oh my God. I’m about to kiss Charlie.
Holy shit! I just kissed Charlie. I just kissed a boy. That actually just happened.
Oh my God. I just kissed Nick. He kissed me. That actually just happened.
That really wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. It felt… right.
It didn’t feel wrong at all. I kissed Charlie and I want to do it again!
I hope he’s ok. I hope he doesn’t hate me now. I hope he doesn’t think I made him do this.
Can we do that again? Charlie. Can we do that again? I need more of what that just was.
There is no doubt in my mind how much I do want to kiss you.
He looks ok. He looks like he wants to kiss again. I want to kiss again.
He wants to kiss again. Yes. Charlie, I will kiss you again. Hold my hand properly and kiss me.
Oh my God. His hand is on my neck. And I’m kissing him. I need to hold him. This feels so good.
What was I worried about? Kissing Charlie is the best thing to happen to me.
I really didn’t want that to end. Oh my God. That was intense. Charlie.
Wow. That was better than I imagined it would be. He looks a little freaked out. I hope he’s ok. I hope this hasn’t upset him.
“You ok?”
Am I ok? Am I ok? That was amazing. I kissed you… Charlie… a boy. And it was good. Holy shit.
I just kissed a boy and liked it. I still don’t know if I’m gay. I like the way he’s holding me.
Does that make me gay? What do I say to him? I’m not quite sure how I feel right now to be honest.
I hadn’t really planned on making out with a boy tonight, but it kinda just happened. But it’s Charlie…
“I…”
“Nick, you up here?”
Shit! Harry! He can’t find me here!
What the fuck does he want?
“I just want to talk mate!”
Fuck. Why now? I need to talk to Charlie! Not you! Shit. What do I do?
He can’t find us here alone. He’ll make fun of us, especially Charlie. Shit, I need to go to him.
Oh no. What’s he thinking? He’s regretting it already. There’s no way he’ll stay… will he?
What will happen if Harry finds us? Oh God… He didn’t want this.
“Why are you hiding?”
Charlie, I’ll be back. Stay here. Please. Let me get rid of him. I’ll come back.
We need to talk. I need to sort out my head. I’m so confused right now.
Charlie, stay here. Let’s talk about this.
I guess I probably should have said some of those things out loud to Charlie before I left.
Shit! I hope he’s still there when I get back.
He didn’t want this. Shit. I pressured him into it. I lead him with questions.
He’s freaked out, and nearly got caught alone with me.
It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have asked him anything. I should have just left it alone.
Why do I do this? He’s never going to want to talk to me again. Shit!
I could have gone without kissing him, but now I’m not going to have him as a friend.
Fuck… what is wrong with me? Curfew… it’s curfew. Thank fuck it’s curfew. I need to get out of here.