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He was going to die here.
His family was safe. All of his friends. The surviving humans of New York. The Yokai.
He was relieved they were going to be okay, but he was also so fucking scared.
He was only sixteen, he didn’t want to die yet.
He hadn't seen everything he wanted to see.
He hadn’t done everything he meant to do, there was still so much left for him.
He wanted to live.
I want to live! His mind screamed, as he floated through the void of the forgein and dull monochrome dimension. The tears were silent but many as he clutched the aged paper of the picture in his hands.
He had to be quiet so the monster wouldn’t find him, but what was the point? Wouldn’t it be better to die quickly, than spend his last days hiding in the hulls of Kraang suits and behind broken stone until he starved.
He didn’t want to die at all. But for once it seemed like Leo was out of smart fixes and plans. He knew this would be his fate the moment he told Raph to jump from the Technodrome to save their brothers, now that he’s here it was all finally hitting him.
He had tried his best to block out the suffering this outcome would end in as he and the Kraang had fought, and now he was finally alone with his racing mind and that demonic creature looking for him somewhere in the void. No escape.
Yeah, he was fucking scared.
He didn’t regret it for a second and he still wanted to go home. He wanted to hug his brothers, sister and dad. Just one last time, he didn’t get to do it before he went here, they had had no time. And now Leo was out of time.
More tears fell in warm rivers against his cold scales as he imagined them all, imagined them all back on earth safe. Safe but without him, he wanted to be there.
I want my family!
He wanted to scream and sob like a little kid, because he was a little kid and finally he wasn’t ashamed to show it. Fuck trying to keep up a cool facade, he was only sixteen goddamn years old and he was going to get get tortured to death, starve or just kill himself to escape the pain before it got too much.
What kind of sick fate is this for a kid?
One he chose himself, he supposed.
Finally he was a hero…
Fuck.
As Leo floated through nothingness a presence grew closer, the only other presence in this hellscape. His future executioner, unless the teen had something to say about it.
The manic cackles of the alien grew closer, voice echoing as it reflected off the degrading metal suits around them.
Nothing felt real, surely this wasn't his fate? He was dreaming, dreaming some sort of sick nightmare, right!? Anything, please anything at all for this to not be real.
Just let him wake up safe with his family PLEASE!
Save me!
SAVE ME!
SAVE ME! PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!
In the distance a red glowing light was approaching, like a sneaking death.
The Kraang was slower now due to the suit breaking some in the fight and explosion, Leo wasn't sure if it was better or worse for it to take longer to get here if he was honest. He clutched the paper tighter as he looked down on the faces of his smiling family, trying to memorize their faces even though he saw them all less than half an hour ago. Maybe looking at them was just for comfort, the teen didn’t even know anymore as his mind jumbled more and more with each passing second.
Please just bring me home he begged as a wheezing whine escaped him, it didn’t even sound like himself as the inhuman noise left his lips, wet from the tears coating his face.
The devil approached and Leo was NOT ready.
Sure, Leo would have chosen this fate a hundred times if it meant his loved ones were safe, but that didn’t mean he had to accept it all gracefully to the end.
He wasn't ready to die, not at all, but rather him than any of the others, even Casey. He had only met the teen today but also knew the kid had gone through enough of this hell, if Leo could do this for Casey and the others, he would without hesitation.
Another loud sob left him as the Kraang grew closer, its suit’s talons scraping and cutting through the debris to get to the turtle.
Until… a bright light. A soft yellow glow illuminating Leo’s lime colored scales from behind.
Does this dimension have a sun now? Leo’s frazzled mind questioned as he maneuvered his floating body to look to the light, maybe God or whoever else felt bad for the turtle and wanted to grant him one last lick of sunshine before his doom.
The light was hard to look at as he had to shield his still crying eyes, behind the shimmer of the glow was… no, it couldn’t be.
“M-Mikey? Raph? Donnie?” He questioned softly, his voice was strained and painful to use. Had he been screaming? Wasn't he supposed to be quiet? Leo didn’t even notice or remember doing it. Nevertheless, his brothers had come for him. Maybe this didn't have to be the end.
Raph used his mystic powers to reach a glowing clone arm to grab at Leo’s shaking hand he was extending in sheer desperation. Please save me, please save me still playing on repeat in the blue themed turtle’s mind. When he felt the red mystic arm finally grab hold on him it felt like his scales were on fire, how cold had the prison dimension been? He had barely felt the cold, his own racing heart and hot tears being all he could muster the energy and awareness to feel.
A loud shriek boomed from below him, Leo didn’t have to look down to know who it was, yet he dared. The glowing eye from the suit and enraged Kraang face met Leo’s eyes and once again the bone chilling panic shot through Leo like a poisoned arrow.
What if it grabs Raph as well?
Please save me.
Please let go.
Don’t leave me.
Don’t get trapped here too.
His mind and body was in turmoil, panic and fear gripping his very soul as the alien grew closer. Leo was so caught up in his own mind he didn’t register the growing purple mystic from his twin beyond the portal. A sharp and fast drill-point flew past Leo, nailing the Kraang right in the face before it got to grab his shaking legs.
The few seconds it took for the alien to throw the drill to the side and recover from the hit is just enough, with one last pull Raph yanks his little brother through the portal, followed by Mikey slamming it shut right in the Kraang’s face.
Leo is safe.
He’s out of the prison dimension and the Kraang is still trapped there, and he’s safe.
Everyone is silent for a few moments.
Raph is laying on his shell, staring at the sky in disbelief.
Mikey is on his knees, breathing heavy from the strenuous process of making the portal.
Donnie is standing, observing his family as his own knees shake a bit, though refusing to buckle.
And Leo, he’s on his knees too. Bent over as his palms rest against the rough concrete ground. His eyes are wide and glazed as he stares at the grey below him, much like the grey from before yet still different.
He’s not sure why, but it’s that thought that finally breaks the silence from him.
His eyes water as fresh tears begin again, drip drip dripping against the ground. Again that animalistic wheezy whine escapes his throat, it’s painful to make but it soothes him in a weird way, he has to get it out or it feels like he’ll begin screaming again. He might scream again no matter what.
His fingers dig themself into the concrete making the skin split a bit and the feeling of pain, the feeling of something makes him feel alive. I’m alive! I’m alive! I’m alive! Every nerve and muscle in his body screams as his palms and fingers begin to bleed, Leo digs harder and harder trying to chase the painful feeling.
It’s satisfying in a fucked up way he does not possess the energy to process at the moment, his wailing becomes louder and louder. Then suddenly the ground under him disappears, he yells and struggles against the thick arms encircling him.
Raph had picked up the sobbing turtle, his concern growing more and more as Leo had made a weird sound and then begun rubbing his palms and arms against the rough concrete, ripping open his arm bandages and making his skin bleed.
He’s almost thrown off balance as Leo struggles against him, then yelping when his bleeding brother has the audacity to bite him. “Leo, hey calm down. It’s just us, man.” He tried to softly plead, ignoring the little blood Leo drew with his blunt teeth.
Donnie and Mikey both came to his aid, Mikey began wrapping the bite mark with one of his own arm bandages as Donnie looked over the flailing Leo.
Donnie tried to grab Leo’s head to force him to look into his eyes, it took some struggling but he eventually succeeded since Leo’s own arms were clutched to his sides by Raph. Donnie finally caught his twin’s eyes, finding them glazed and red from tears and exhaust, shit. “Leo, Leo look at me. Come on, do your breathing exercises okay? In through the nose, out through the mouth.” He tried to instruct the other, doing the exercise as well to make the other catch on.
This is without a doubt the worst panic attack they had seen him experience, he had never self harmed during one before. Donnie shook his own panic off, he had to help his brother. “In and out Nardo, you know this, follow me.”
Leo had been so ready to fight, to hurt, to die he wasn't sure what to do now that he didn't have to. Every atom in his body was vibrating from the mental whiplash of being saved, what the hell could he do other than one big outwardly explosion? If this shit didn’t get out of him he felt like he might just die from a heart attack instead.
So he fought and screamed and bit and kicked and cried as hard and as loud as his aching body would allow.
Mikey grabbed onto one of Leo’s hands, tears falling as well as he began to plead, “Leo please! We’re right here, calm down! Just do what Donnie to telling you.” The hand of his older brother grabbed hard onto his own darker ones, the orange themed turtle yelped in pain from the new wounds making a portal for a second but held on. This pain was nothing, even if the feeling of his sibling’s blood seeping between his fingers made him nauseous.
Leo extended his leg extra hard on one of his wild kicks and hit Donnie’s square in his chest, but the soft shell didn’t let it phase him. Just grimacing in pain before going back to the exercise, though his fake brows were furrowed a little bit after the hit.
Raph tried to rock Leo side to side in a soft motion without disturbing Donnie’s process. The manic screams and wails his little brother was concerning and made his heart hurt but he knew he had to hold on. If he let go of Leo he had no idea what he would do, if he might hurt himself or them, again.
He wasn't holding Leo so tight it would hurt, despite the screams he was producing, and it finally did feel like they were lowering in volume. Due to coming down finally or just because it was painful to keep vocalizing, he didn’t know.
Leo felt like he was on fire, but as the flames finally began to simmer down a bit from his exhaust he heard a voice. Gentle in a familiar flat tone, he knew the voice, what did it say?
“-reathe. In and out, in thro…h the nose and out through the m…th. You can do it, in and out.” Breathe? Oh, his lungs did hurt, a LOT. Shit, what was going on?
Leo shakily took his first deep breath and the brothers around him all felt like they finally got some air back too. Donnie perked up a bit “G-Good! Okay again Leo, in and out, with me.” He instructed, noticing Leo’s eyes seemed to become a bit more clear.
The bloody and clenched hands finally eased up on their death drip, Mikey didn’t let go though, not for a second. He looked up to Raph, “Is it okay to set him down?” He questioned the biggest brother.
The red themed turtle looked conflicted for a second, looking at Don. The nerd had more experience with Leo’s less positive moods and panic attacks. Donnie caught his eye and nodded, immediately going back to focusing on the blue one.
Leo was now sitting on his butt, leaning heavily against Raph’s plastron, his left hand still in Mikey’s and his tired eyes on Donnie.
He finally felt like he was back in reality, and what a mess it was. Leo looked down and spotted Mikey’s blood soaked hands clenching his own aching one, as well as a bloody bandage on Raph’s arm. Oh shit, he had bit him. He angled his head backwards slowly, ignoring the pounding headache that flared up at the movement, looking into the eyes of his oldest brother. Raph’s eyes were wet and the new scar looked painful, but still he smiled at Leo in relief. Leo opened his mouth a few times, then finally digging out his voice.
“I-I’m sorry, biting you.” He didn’t have the energy for a lot of words at the moment but Raph just shook his head, “It’s fine, I’m just happy you're okay now.” Was Leo okay? Probably not, but anything was better than the mess from five minutes ago.
Leo sighed, his head falling down again. He lifted his left hand from Mikey’s, cringing as the drying blood made their scales stick together for a moment. “Sorry, just… sorry.” He said, voice quiet and scratchy. He now angled the words at the other two, Mikey who had held his disgustingly bloody hand and Donnie who had taken a rough kick straight to his plastron.
Mikey quickly grabbed his hand again, softly as not to cause the split skin more pain, “Don't apologize! We’re okay, are you okay?” He asked, tears still wetting his big eyes. Leo wanted to say yes, to smile and just shrug this mess off but he knew he couldn’t, neither physically nor mentally.
“I’m… not,” he murmured, closing his tired eyes.
“That’s okay,” Mikey said quietly, his eyes not leaving Leo’s face despite the other having closed his own eyes. “We’re here for you all the way, I promise.” Donnie and Raph hummed in agreement to Mikey’s words.
The exhaust was finally catching up on Leo, his muscles felt liquified and brain was turning to mush as he began to nod off a bit. But he managed to mumble a few last words before sleep took him.
“Love you guys…”