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If there was a list of things I'd love about the end of the world, the night sky is one of them. Near the very top of the list even. My whole life I'd never lived anywhere near where I could actually see the stars at night. Living so close to Boston as I did guaranteed that the most I saw were the faintest points of light against the blacks of night.
But here in Apocalypse they're almost as clear as day, vast, bright, even twinkling. In fact, the first night out of the vault I saw shooting stars for the very first time. When I was little, I could remember trying to memorize all of their shapes and constellations, but I can never get the hang of it. Still, the mess of stars above was beautiful and shining.
I can't help but think about how Carmen and Shaun would love this. The both of them had never seen anything like it either.
Did they ever get to see it, I wonder, see it before they were taken to wherever they are now?
I drop my eyes back down to the warm glow of sanctuary below me, past the hill I sit atop. People milled about the settlement, calling others for dinner, keeping watch past our defenses. One man, a passing traveler, playing guitar on the sidewalk to a growing audience. Then there was the teleporter. Located further from most of the settlements' housing. Several people hovering around it, inspecting cables and testing connections. I'm surprised that I don't see Sturges down there with them. Maybe he's taking a break, God knows he needs one.
Even from up here, I can hear the buzz of the generators that power that massive thing, winding down into silence as they work to install a new cable. From the silence, I can finally make out occasional laughter from the people below, and for the first time in a long while I hear crickets. I never realized how much I missed their chirps.
Before I can notice, I'm smiling. Bringing Shaun back home has taken much, much, longer than I intended. However, if it means I get to bring him back home to this. This community, warmth, safety, then I say it's all worth it.
I focus my eyes back on that massive machine.
It won't be long now Shaun, I promise." I let the creeping smile grow into a grin and close my eyes, saying before I settle myself deeper into the lawn chair I dragged up here.
It lasts only a few seconds as I hear something approaching. I open my eyes immediately. I don't dare move any other muscle. Steps get closer and slower, almost more cautious.
In a motion so fast that it knocks my chair over and onto the ground, I unholster the pistol at my hip rise and spin to face my guest. I relax my aim when I glimpse the red coat in front of it.
"Piper?" her hands are in the air as she awkwardly smiles my way. I put my pistol back at my hip and start moving closer to her.
"Hey Blue," I smile back at her. "Didn't mean to sneak up on you." When I'm close enough I pull her into a tight hug. It startled her for a second but then she returned to the gesture by wrapping her arms around me. "Woah, we alright Blue?"
"Yeah," I say with a little nod into her shoulder. "I just didn't think that you'd make it."
"As if I could miss out on the biggest stories since, well, you?" I chuckle at that. we pull away to face each other, but still holding on. "You know what I mean."
"I do, but you've said the same thing about the Brotherhood flying in and the revival of the Minutemen…"
"Okay, I get it-"
"And even the same thing about those robot attacks too." She laughs this time.
"Not my fault you're some divine harbinger of change out here Blue." She glances back down at Sanctuary, proving the point.
"At least you get an inside scoop by being my best friend." Piper's face begins to fall, morphing into a furrowed brow and pursed lips.
She gives my shoulder a squeeze, breaking away completely. Piper moves towards the edge of the hill, facing sanctuary again. She crosses her arms and laughs again but this time it's not soft and warm.
"I've never gotten so close to a source you know." I moved to join her looking towards the teleporter again "when are you leaving?"
"Should be just a few more hours now, Sturges won't let me leave Unless he's at least 99% sure that thing won't fry my brain." I see the man returning to work on the machine almost as if on queue. I let out a long exhale, more tired than anything else, while Piper lets out a shaky breath. Just then, something hits me. "Is it weird I'm not nervous about it?"
"What do you mean?"
"This is the calm before the storm. This should be the moment for me to start freaking out, having second thoughts, obsessing about every little detail-" I look down to the traveler with the guitar, just ending his song now, smiling at the clapping small crowd before him- "but I'm not. Besides the fact that maybe I should've slept more today, I'm cool and ready… is that weird?" She shakes her head.
"I don't know, Blue."
"Are you nervous?" She huffs at that.
"'Nervous' doesn't even come close to how I feel right now…" Piper opens up her coat to pull out a pack of cigarettes. She's had this pack for a while now, trying not to smoke as much these days. When she flicks the paper top open, she sighs. "it's even worse knowing I won't even try stopping you."
I stare at the reporter as she pulls out a cigarette, And pats down on her pockets for a lighter. Cursing a little when she realizes she doesn't even have one.
"Who are you and what have you done with Piper?" she gives a small shove at my shoulder, placing the cigarette in her mouth. Then motioning to me, asking if I've got one.
"I'm serious Blue," I do have one, I pull it out of my front pocket and flick it open. Holding the flame before her he leans in to light the cig, we share eye contact for a moment as it catches. Slowly, Piper pulls away, blowing smoke out when she stands fully erect. "You're going into certain doom if you were doing this just for the Railroad, or as leader of the Minutemen, then I would be on your ass and dragging my feet…"
"But?" She lets out another puff and I scrunch my nose at the smell.
"But this is about more than that. It's about Shaun and I know I do the same thing for Nat-" Her voice turns deep and husky- "and God help whoever would get in my way." Fuck, my cheeks are hot now. I pat them a bit hoping that does something.
Besides the sound of me clearing my throat, the crickets fill the air Once again. The traveler down below begins another song after the crowds pleading. Piper puffs out More smoke, her face unreadable as she also stares into Sanctuary.
"Blue, I didn't just come here for the story, or just to tell you good luck before you leave." Piper looks at me with hazel eyes scanning every part of my face. This is a look I know; she's giving me time to interrupt. I nod, urging her to keep going. Taking a moment to collect herself she begins. "Okay, wooo…" I can't help but smile at the shaky noises she makes when she's nervous. She nearly takes another puff again but hesitates before tossing the thing down and rubbing it into the ground with her foot. Her cheeks start turning red as she closes her eyes. "I trust that you're gonna do everything in your power to come back to us, but I'm not naive, I know this could be the last time I see you… " I take a hold of one of her hands.
"Piper-" Her eyes open, staring into me fiercely, I can do nothing but stare back into those beautiful eyes.
"Blue, you don't have to reassure me right now, it's okay. I-... I just can't let you leave without getting this off of my chest." Piper, squeezes my hand, "call me a broken record, but you're my best friend, Blue. I'm just hoping this next part doesn't screw it all up." That last part is spoken as if it were a comment on the margin of a paper she's editing. Piper opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out, she starts to look a little frustrated as her cheeks now match the color of her jacket. She snatches the hat off of her head and squeezes it tight in her hand.
Looking up at her face, it's like I can't breathe anymore. I feel the veins in my body pumping blood and the world begins to spin. A chill rises up my spine and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck point outwards. This isn't what I think it is, silence engulfs us as she takes longer and longer to continue, it couldn't be, right? It feels like forever has passed when she does find her voice.
"And I- I… It's easy to shut out everything and everyone from grief and you're from a world really-" Her breathing picks up and her eyes towards anything but me. I can't help but think, oh no- "um, wholly different from my own, and coming here into this one is strange. Even stranger, that you become my best-"
"Pipes," I had to stop it. "You're gonna talk yourself into circles. You won't screw anything up. You know how patient I am." I smile at her when her eyes are finally back on me. "Deep breath," she does so, it eases her up a bit. Piper nervously smiles.
"How embarrassing, huh? You're the one coaching me on keeping it cool to confess my feelings for you-!" her eyes widen, and she looks like an owl as the world freezes around us. I can't stop my jaw from dropping. " Shit… " I don't know if she's ever sounded so small. "It wasn't meant to come out like that…"
I give a quick pinch to my leg, glad that it hurts. We're really both here and she just really said that . I've always suspected, hoped even, that this moment would finally come. I'm almost disappointed that I wasn't the one to do it first. But I couldn't care less about that now.
"Blue?" I snap out of it and look back to Piper, who is now on the verge of tears. "Please say something…"
"Do you really mean it, Pipes?" She nods in confirmation. "Then mind explaining what exactly those feelings are?" I use this cheesy sultry voice I usually use when I'm fucking around with her.
"Do I really have to spell it out for you?"
"You don't have to but I would really like that. Letter by letter- ow!" She hits me lightly with her crumpled hat and huffs. "Okay, I get it. But, honestly, please do go on." My own voice goes soft now "I'd like to hear it."
Nodding, Piper lets go of my hand. Taking her hat in both of her own.
"I've been feeling this way for, well a good while now Blue… I wanted to tell you, that night we drank on top of my roof, I told myself I'd do it. But instead, I just pretended to go to sleep because I was so worried about ruining a perfect night."
"You were awake the whole time? And you made me carry you into bed?"
"I didn't wanna walk back down to my room… But that's beside the point now," I can't help but smile. "Look, I think about you, a lot, in a way that I want us to be, well, more than friends. But, I get into this rut again, and again. I'm too loud, I'm pushy, annoying- How could you ever want someone like me? And before you say anything." Tears have started running down her cheeks, she doesn't dare let them stop her. "You've stuck through with me as my best friend despite all that. It's dumb to think it would stop you from wanting to be with me like that- Not that I would assume you want to be, like that, with me!"
"And what if I do?" I drop my voice low.
"What?
"What if I want to be with you, 'like that'?" She laughs, this time like honey in my ears.
"Then I'm the luckiest lady in the whole damn world. Is that what you want?" She sniffs and uses her hat to wipe her tears. I start crying too.
"Is that even a question?"
"Well duh, Blue, I just asked you..."
"Then consider yourself the second luckiest lady in the whole damn world." Through our tears, we both start laughing.
It started slow and soft, but now in almost thunderous hysterics. I hold on to her to keep myself from rolling on the ground with laughter. For a moment I think how horrifying it must sound to someone down in the settlement. No doubt somebody heard this. But frankly, I don't care. We start winding down and I begin wiping the tears from her face as she holds me. Piper closes her eyes and tilts her head into my hand, resting on it, smiling contently. Her face is moist and reflects a bit of the moon. So peaceful, I think, unable to look away, so beautiful.
She opens her brilliant eyes and wipes my face now. I look to her lips, then back into her eyes. Newfound energy surges through my body as if all my nerves light up at once. It almost feels like I've taken a hit of turbo. I hear the blood coursing within my ears.
"What are you looking at?" She says barely able to keep herself from laughing a little more.
Fuck it.
"Piper, I want to kiss you." I mentally kick myself over how matter-of-fact it sounds. It takes a moment for Piper to register it, for a moment I think I might have overstepped it.
"What a coincidence." Faster than I can pull out a pistol she leans down slightly, taking my face fully into her hands. I close my eyes.
Her lips are softer than what I could ever imagine. If I weren't still holding on to Piper, I'm sure I'd melt into a puddle before her. But I don't. Her lips are on mine, and for a few moments, it's just those lips and the crickets that are all that exist in the world. It's perfect, she's perfect.
When we finally pull away her eyes sparkle, and I've got a feeling mine are doing the same.
“So, you really want this Blue?” I gave her a look.
“For a reporter you sometimes ask some really dumb questions, of course I do Piper.” My smile turns smug and I go on, “I could really get used to kisses like that.” She hums in response.
“Me too,” she looks past me and then back out to Sanctuary. “A good incentive for you to come back to me.”
“I always will.” She doesn't look back at me, her eyes fixated on something behind me. I turn to see her laser focus landing right on that looming teleporter. For a second I think it's gotten bigger.
“You better.” Her eyes are on me again, intense and darting back and forth from my eyes to my lips.
“We’ve still got time, we could get a head start on this kissing stuff.” Piper shivers in my arms slightly.
“Ooooh,” another one of those shaky noises she makes. “Sorry, goosebumps.”
“Piper Wright, you are the corniest motherfucker I’ve ever met.”
“It landed me a doll like you though.”
“Touche.”
“Now, you better grab Shaun and come right back to me, asap, you hear that?” Piper holds onto my hands tightly, the intense blue light of the teleporter illuminating her entire figure in this almost cold light.
“Loud and clear Piper.” Concern spreads across her face, and she takes a hand to my face.
“Blue, you’re crying…”
“Miss Nora, we're just about ready for you to step inside!” Sturges shouts from behind the control panel.
I turn my face towards the bright blue emanating from the top of the teleporter and even though I want to, I can’t look away. It resembles thicker lightning bolts wild yet contained to the platform beneath it. Chills spread across my whole body until I'm freezing, unable to move, or even breathe. Dread fills my entire being when Piper turns my head to face her again. Wherever this thing takes me, she won’t be there. What if I never see her again? My breaths start rapidly, and I nearly start heaving.
“Deep breaths Blue-”
“I don’t want…” I pull her into my arms. “I don’t want to leave you. What if I don't find him? What if he’s dead-”
“It’s ready! Get in there we only got one shot at this!” The machine whirrs louder than ever before.
Piper pulls me off of her and grabs hold of my shoulders, looking me dead in the eye. I didn’t even notice she had started crying.
“Listen! You can’t think like that Blue, not now. Not ever. You’re getting your nephew back and you’re bringing him home.” I try breathing normally, and I nod to her. I chuckle a little.
“Yeah, yeah…You’re gonna love him, you know that?”
“If he’s anything like you I bet I will.” She goes to wipe her own tears. I move in closer and take her lips in my own. She melts into me.
“Sorry to interrupt but- NOW OR NEVER NORA!” Sturges, now urgent and almost angry.
I pull away and her hands linger for as long as they can on my waist. Slowly falling to her side when I'm out of reach. Piper stands alone, her face wet with tears and hunched slightly in on herself. Though the sight is enough to break my heart, I go forward and stand in the blue light, I can barely see her anymore. Suddenly something snaps.
“Oh, shit…” Not a good phrase ever to come out of Sturges's mouth. “Godamnit!”
Piper shouts and moves toward me.
“Blu-”
In a blink, I’m not in Sanctuary anymore. The walls are white, adorned with tech I’ve never seen before, in this small rotund chamber. The only thing I hear now is just my own breathing. There's an entryway, leading somewhere. I made it. I let out a curse. It really worked
In that list of all the things I’d loved about the end of the world, this might very well be dead last. But if it means I get Shaun back, to be able to show him the stars? Then it’s gotta be worth it. Besides, I gotta get back to what was at the top of that very list. I wipe my face and start walking, making sure I’ve still got my rifle with me.
“I’m coming, Shaun.”