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It's one of those lazy afternoons in the station, almost zero calls so far with the exceptions of a few minor calls, and Buck is really tempted to say the Q word because he is bored to death. In fact, he is pretty sure he just lost a few decades of his life while sitting on that chair doing nothing.
Then, he hears a silky voice nearing him with a cup of coffee in his hand.
"Why are you sulking?" Eddie arches his brow as he sits next to him and slides him the cup.
Buck lets out an exasperated groan. "I'm bored, man." He takes a sip of his coffee and draws his face closer to Eddie, lowering his voice. "I'm thinking about using the Q word."
"Do you have a death wish?" Eddie teases him with an amusing grin on his face. "Don't even think about it."
Buck squints his eyes and shakes his head like he's taken aback. "Since when do you believe in the Q word?" He points his finger at Eddie. "You were supposed to encourage me."
"Okay, fine." Eddie leans his back against the chair and crosses his arms, a daring look in his eyes. "Do it."
"I'm—"
Buck's sentence gets interrupted by the loud ringing of the bell.
They share a look as they get up from their chairs— Buck looking surprised and Eddie looking weirdly sly; not long after, Buck understands the reason.
"Buck used the Q word!" Eddie says loudly to Hen and Chim before a laugh up his sleeve and glances at Buck.
"You better hide, Buckley!" Chim shouts over him as he hops into the truck.
Buck's mouth falls open as his brows knit, staring at Eddie. "You're a dead man."
After Eddie's mischievous chuckle, they get in the truck and drive to their next call.
The call is, again, another minor call— probably just an in and out situation; the fancy thing is though, they are dispatched to a mansion.
The biggest kinds.
No, no. Not a mansion. That place is like a castle.
So that overcompensates it, probably. At least it’s a change of view.
“Woah.” Buck can’t help the quiet gasp that leaves his lips when he looks outside the window before their truck stops because the house is gorgeous and huge.
Hen puts her hand under Buck’s open jaw and lifts it up. “Stop drooling.”
"Look at that place." Buck's eyes wander over the house.
Eddie shrugs. "I think it's a waste of money."
Which is… a classic Eddie answer and of course Buck isn't surprised the slightest.
"Oh, come on." Buck protests in a whine. "You're telling me you wouldn't say yes if you had the chance to own a house like this?"
Chimney's brows raise and he looks at Eddie with a teasing smile.
"I'm not saying I wouldn't accept it." Eddie answers, side eyeing Buck. "I'm saying I wouldn't buy it, but I don't mind someone giving it to me for free." A canny expression on his face.
Hen tilts her head and snorts. "And you're the only person in the world with a brain."
"All the weight on my shoulders." Eddie pouts his lips and nods.
They get off the truck and one of the maids greet them at the entrance, guiding them in.
Bobby looks at them. “Hen, Chim, you two take the second floor; Eddie, you’re with me on the first floor.”
“Copy that, Cap.” They all nod their heads.
Bobby turns to Buck. “Basement is yours.”
After a nod of compliance, Buck spots the stairs and makes his way down.
The basement isn’t any smaller than the other floors, maybe even wider; it’s surrounded with expensive pieces of sculptures and paintings hanging on the wall.
Buck looks around as he slowly walks in the room while pricking up his ears and paying attention to every possible sound, trying to find the leak, but the open walk-in vault on the far end of the room catches his eyes when he turns around. He takes steady steps towards the vault and peeks his head through the parted door to see what’s inside.
The vault is lit up with bright lights hanging from the ceiling, there are glass displays covering the marble consoles, and there is a big square in the middle with many, many pieces of diamonds built in the surface.
The room looks so inviting and intriguing, it sparks every little curiosity birdies inside Buck and he can not help himself not to step inside. So he does.
Buck pushes the door open just a little and lets himself slide inside the room. He slowly ambles around and stares, observes , the luxury items locked in the consoles, but he is too focused on his surroundings so he doesn’t notice the door quietly closing shut on him, the soft click sound disappearing in the air before Buck can even hear it.
He passes through each glass display one by one, looking carefully at every piece. A particular shiny item gets his attention when he nears the end and he blows out a sharp whistle when he sees it so he gets closer to the marble and slightly leans forward to take a better look at it. Before he can even think about it, Buck traces the tip of his finger over the glass and his finger must have touched a barely visible fingerprint scanner because the next thing he knows, he is bombarded with possible the loudest and ugliest alarm he has ever heard and it’s strong enough to drill his eardrums.
The alarm is so loud and like a thin screech, it catches Buck off guard and almost creates a shock effect on his body, making his heart skip a beat at the sudden change from extreme silence to a deafening chaos. He closes his eyes shut and chokes out a whimper while his hands lift up to cover his ears, his palms pressing on them so tight and the tip of his fingers digging into his scalp. Buck clenches his jaw hard and drops his head on his chest as he waits for the alarm to stop, his hands still covering his ears but even tighter, his eardrums throbbing with the abrasive sound, but it doesn't stop; it keeps ringing and ringing and it’s so violent that Buck can feel it inside him, his bones and muscles vibrating harshly with each splitting boom and it makes his knees hit the ground because it’s much more than he can handle.
Buck’s one hand goes to his radio, a scream ripping his throat when the sound gets louder to his ears. “Bobby! Turn off the alarm!” He shouts, trying to make his voice heard as he can.
He feels the radio vibrating under his hand but he can’t hear what Bobby is saying, and each passing minute feels more and more unbearable like his brain is going to burst out of his scalp, so he shouts again.
“The vault! Turn off the alarm!”
He hopes Bobby understands what he’s saying because he can’t stand it anymore so he brings his hand back to his ear and his body tries to curl into itself. His fingers tug at the short strands on his head and the alarm keeps ringing and the sound stumps in his brain and it’s so loud and it starts to hurt his ears. Buck feels his palms getting wet and his stomach twists when he realizes it’s blood. His ears are bleeding.
He stays on his knees with his hands covering his ears, blood dripping down to his jaw and waits for his team to get to him, prays that they understood what he was trying to say. He utters out pained groans that get worse and worse, everything is getting worse, he's feeling worse, the sound is too much, it's painful and it hurts so much.
And then, it stops.
All of a sudden, the harsh siren stops, but the violent throbbing and ringing in his ears don't stop. It's like a constant thin screech coming from the distance and it's all he can hear.
He feels a hand on his shoulder and someone making out some words but he can't hear them; he lifts his head to see the hand belonging to Bobby and Bobby's mouth is moving, he has a worried look on his face but Buck can't make out what Bobby is saying. He just stares at his captain with fearful and agonized eyes, his face twisted.
Bobby wraps his arm around Buck's waist and maneuvers him to get up, but the moment he gets on his feet, everything spins, there are dots on his vision, and his stomach turns. He feels the acidic bile rising up his throat as he holds onto Bobby's arms with his blood stained hands and doubles over, the veins in his neck popping as he retches violently, the bile coming out of his mouth burning him.
Buck feels Bobby's hand around him tightening and holding him firm, there is another hand on his other side— Eddie's hand, they help him straighten up as he can and guide him through the door slowly and gently.
They make him sit in the ambulance and Eddie sits next to him while the rest of the crew follows the ambulance behind, but then the worst happens and the ambulance turns on its sirens and Buck's hands tug at his curls with a harsh scream tearing his throat as he squeezes his eyes shut and folds over.
"Turn it off." Eddie springs to his feet and tells the paramedic.
The road to the hospital feels like a lifetime but they make it and immediately go into the emergency room with a nurse and a doctor following them.
Time passes in the hospital as the doctor checks him up and a nurse cleans the blood coming from his ears while he sits on the bed, his ears throbbing and making him feel like he's drunk, Eddie and the 118 stay with him until the doctor comes back to tell them what's wrong.
The ringing in his ears slowly subsides and fades away, but it leaves its place to a complete silence.
He can't hear anything. Not a damn thing.
He looks around and sees Eddie talking with Maddie— she arrived only a little after they did, he can see their mouths moving but he can't hear them, and the beat of his heart gets faster and faster, he feels something twisting his stomach, something terrifying, his breathing gets quicker and shallow and his chest rises and falls quickly, the tears dwell in the corners of his eyes and Maddie snaps his head to look at him— she must've noticed the quiet whimper leaving Buck's lips even though Buck didn't even realise the sound escaping his mouth, and her expression shifts to a worried look as she gets closer and puts her hand on his thigh.
Her lips move but there is no sound coming out. Nothing.
Buck whimpers with a shuddering breath and stares at Maddie, his teary eyes wide open. He is scared. He is so scared. "I can't hear anything."
"His eardrums are ruptured, he needs a couple of weeks to recover." The doctors tell Eddie. And Maddie, because she is standing next to him.
They are right outside the emergency room, catching the doctor as he was leaving Buck's side to tell him— well, write on a paper, about his condition while Eddie and Maddie were also with him.
Eddie crosses his arms and knits his brows. "He said he couldn't hear anything."
"It's to be expected. He got exposed to a high pitched sound for a long time."
"Will he have a full recovery?" Maddie asks. "Will he be able to hear?"
It's like even though the two of them have medical knowledge, their brains give a blue screen when it's about someone they care about.
The doctor nods his head. "It's highly likely. I wrote antibiotics and painkillers for the pain. His body is going to recover in time, he just needs to rest."
"Thank you." Eddie smiles before the doctor leaves. He turns to Maddie before they both go back in. "He can stay with me."
"Are you sure?" Maddie asks him. "I can take him, too."
Eddie nods his head. "I'm sure."
They go back in to find Buck still on the bed but looking kinda tired and a sad look on his face, looking at the entrance, probably waiting for them to come back.
Buck straightens his back when Eddie and Maddie come near him.
Eddie takes out his phone and taps on the screen, then holds it in front of Buck.
You're coming with me.
They get home close to evening hours after briefly stopping at a pharmacy to get Buck's meds, and by the time Eddie parks his car, Buck is dozing off on the passenger seat next to him with his head resting against the window, breathing steadily. They both still have their uniforms on and Eddie can't wait to get inside and change into something more comfortable— he's pretty sure Buck also feels the same way, so he shuts off the engine and turns his face to Buck's sleeping form.
"Buck, we're here." He gently tries to wake Buck up but Buck doesn't even stir.
Before Eddie can try again, the reminder hits him like a truck because of course Buck will not wake up, how could he when he can't hear anything— good fucking job, Diaz; swallowing down the bitter taste in his mouth, Eddie holds Buck's finger that's resting on his thigh and squeezez lightly to not startle him.
Unless it doesn't work, Buck wakes up with a flinch, sucking in a sharp breath as he takes a look at his surroundings, and Eddie tries to ignore the guilt in him while patiently waiting until Buck's eyes land on him and then on the house outside, visibly relaxing when he realizes where he is.
They go in, change into comfortable clothes— Eddie hands Buck one of his sweatpants and loose t-shirts, have their dinner with minimum talk between Chris and Eddie's texts and Buck's tired answers.
They do the dishes in silence while Chris goes to his room to do his homework, and after everything is finished, Eddie places two bottles of pill on the table with a glass of water next to it, arching his brows at Buck.
"Do you keep the blankets in the same drawer?" Buck asks him after he takes the pills, the exhaustion in his voice clear as day.
Eddie shakes his head and takes out his phone, typing an answer.
You aren't sleeping on the couch.
He sees Buck getting ready to protest so he acts faster and glances at him with a firm look. " Buck. " He says out loud this time, because he knows there is no way Buck won't understand that, even though he can't hear it.
After a defeated sigh, Buck gets on his feet and leaves the kitchen. "Good night."
By the time Eddie calls it a day and enters the bedroom, Buck is sleeping soundly under the covers, laying on his side and slightly curled into himself, his curls sticking out freely; Eddie pushes the covers aside and climbs into the bed as carefully as he can and closes his eyes.
The pills must have knocked him out pretty good because the next time Buck opens his eyes, early day light is shining its light over his face and Buck lays still for a second, soaking the warmth deep into his bones. The house is oddly silent, no birds chirping, no cars honking, not even the sound of the wind hitting against window; he props himself up on his elbows and rests his back against the wall to look around in confusion and— oh, it's because of him, he can't hear anything. Buck runs a hand down his face and lets out a groan, then a piece of piper on Eddie's pillow gets his attention when he turns his head. He gets the paper in his hands and can't help the fond chuckle escapes his lips.
Breakfast is ready, don't forget to take your meds, you know where the clean towels are if you want to take a shower (cover your ears), I'm gonna drop Chris off at his friend's house after the shift. Text me if you need anything.
He makes the bed nicely and goes to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, a wave of annoyance rolls through his insides when he turns on the tap and can’t hear the sound of the water running. He quickly finishes everything and makes his way to the kitchen to see a plate prepared for him on the table; Buck pours himself a cup of coffee and eats his food in silence. Not that he has any other option. He takes his meds and tidies up the kitchen before pouring himself another cup of coffee and slumping on the chair, staring through the window while he takes small sips.
It gets worse.
He feels worse.
The reality hits him when Buck was sitting on the couch for too long, lost in his thoughts.
He can’t hear anything. Not single thing.
Everything is in complete silence and stillness when in fact everything is not in complete silence; the world is still revolving, people are still talking and birds are still chirping, the wind is still blowing and everything has a sound to it, but Buck can’t hear any of it.
He is trapped in his own mind, in his own body, left out from the rest of the world and it scares him, it scares him so much.
Buck feels his his heart racing, strongly beating against his chest; he feels the blood rushing through his veins from head to toe; he doesn’t hear any of it but he feels all of it and somehow it’s even worse, way worse because he doesn’t know how to distract himself, all he can focus on is his the fast and strong thump of his heart and the sweat prickling his skin and the racing thoughts surrounding his mind.
He has no way out, he is trapped.
Buck chokes out a whimper and doubles over, resting his elbows on his knees and bringing his hands to tug at his curls. He clenches his eyes shut and a tear falls down his face; his chest starts to rise and fall quickly, each breath he takes feels shallow, like he can’t get enough air; he feels himself shaking and it only makes him pull his hair tighter; there are thoughts running around his brain, never-ending thoughts and Buck wants it to stop, he just wants to hear one thing, anything other than himself. Just one thing, but he can’t.
When Eddie lets himself in and gets welcomed by the sound of Buck's hitching breaths and his troubled whimpers, when he sees Buck sitting on the couch, his hands pulling his hair, not only he feels his heart shattering, he also feels the worry in him skyrocketing through the roof.
He rushes towards Buck, the recent events forgotten and shadowed by the concern building in his chest and crouches down in front of him.
There are tears falling down Buck's face, his eyes shut and face twisted.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Eddie asks Buck, his brows wrinkled, his eyes wide.
When Buck doesn't answer, Eddie wraps his fingers around Buck's wrist and Buck startles, his head shoots up and looks at Eddie with a broken and shocked expression on his face and it hurts .
Buck chokes out a cry and even though Eddie still doesn't understand what the hell is going on, he is not gonna stand here and watch Buck break so he sits on the couch next to him and wraps his arms around Buck, pulling him close; and Buck grasps his shirt tightly, his shaky breath hot against Eddie's neck.
"It's so silent." Buck whispers between his cries, and that's all Eddie needs to hear.
Eddie's hand rubs soothing circles over Buck's back, holding him tight, and he rests his temple against Buck's head, hoping that his presence can calm him down because that's all he can offer right now.
It happens a few weeks later in the evening when they are all sitting in the living room doing their own thing. Buck is slumped on the armchair with a book in his hand and Chris is sitting on the couch playing with his phone.
He's been hearing muffled sounds during those past weeks, his hearing slightly getting better, but they haven't been clear enough to understand and distinguish.
Until now.
It's the first time he hears clearly and the first thing he hears happens to be Eddie's voice.
Eddie comes back from the kitchen with a cup of tea in his hand, sitting on the armrest. "Okay, Chris. Time for bed."
"Dad, ten more minutes." Chris says without lifting his head from the game he's playing.
Eddie shakes his head. "Nope." He gives Chris his 'dad' look. "You are on that thing for hours."
"Dad." Chris pouts.
Buck lifts his head and stares at Eddie. "Just let him play a little."
Eddie's brows furrow. "He has school tom— wait, what?"
"What?" Buck frowns.
Eddie shares a surprised look with Chris before both of them land their eyes on Buck.
"You heard that?" Chris asks.
Buck rolls his eyes. "Yes, I heard that. Why would— wait." His eyes widen. "I heard that."
A chuckle escapes his lips, a good one, and he looks at Eddie, his heart warming when he sees Eddie looking at him with the softest eyes.
"I'll drink to that." Eddie smiles but turns his head to Chris before he goes to the kitchen, pointing his finger at his son. "You're going to bed."
Chris lets out a loud sigh. "Fine." He gets up and gives Buck and Eddie a hug. "Good night."
"Night, buddy." Buck smiles at him, maybe a little wider than normal.
He can hear. He can finally hear.
Buck hears Eddie's footsteps and the soft clink of the glasses as he comes closer and Buck gets up to sit on the couch across Eddie.
And if they spend their whole night talking and listening to each other, Buck letting Eddie's silky voice and his soft chuckles surround his ears, it's no one's business but theirs.