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Buck lets himself slump on the couch next to Eddie's spot— unnecessarily close as if it's the only available spot when in fact the couch is big and he can easily sit on the other end, and rests his back against the cushions, his shoulder plastered with Eddie's.
They came back from another call and had their lunch, and now Chim is with Hen restocking the truck while Bobby is having a call in his room. That leaves Buck and Eddie alone on the upper level. Not that Buck is complaining.
Eddie is also sunken deep into the couch with a book in his hand, quietly reading.
Buck tilts his head and slightly sticks it forward to see the letters in a clear way, and his eyes follow the page Eddie is reading, his lips parted in the tiniest way and his brows wrinkled, letting the book pull him in slowly. After a few minutes he turns towards Eddie without keeping his eyes off the book to sit more comfortably, his shoulder getting squeezed between Eddie’s arm and the couch, the tip of Eddie’s shoulder digging into the side of his chest and rubbing his uniform every time Buck’s chest rises and falls steadily.
When he finishes reading the last sentence of the page, Eddie's voice breaks the silence and Buck lifts his eyes to see Eddie looking at him with a fond look on his face.
"Finished?" Eddie asks him with a smile.
After staring at Eddie for a second with a surprised look— so much for being sneaky, Buck ducks his head, a light breathy chuckle escaping his lips, and nods. "Yeah, you can turn the page."
Eddie turns the page and they read a couple of pages— Eddie waiting for Buck to give him a nod at the end of each page before moving on; he closes the book and puts it on the armrest when they finish the chapter.
"That was good." Buck comments, twisting his lips in an impressed way.
Eddie nods. "I can give it to you after I finish it."
"Sure." Buck shrugs, but his face softens.
"Are you coming tomorrow?" Eddie asks. "Chris is still dying to show you that new game."
Buck laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "Of course I am."
"You better practice at home by then. It must be boring to lose every time." Eddie teases.
Buck squints his eyes. "Famous last words, Diaz."
"Yeah, yeah, sure." Eddie smirks. "We'll see."
They get off the couch and Buck makes his way to the kitchen to make some coffee, Eddie following him behind while they keep talking; Eddie sits on the kitchen stool and Buck pours two cups of coffee before putting one of them in front of Eddie and sitting across from him.
For a moment, Buck starts to think if their shift will finish without any calls considering there are no ringing bells interrupting their talk.
Not so long after, the bell rings.
“Alright, here’s what’s gonna happen.”
Buck’s all focus is fixed on his Captain when Bobby starts his orders as they gather their gears and wear their turnouts.The call is one of the hard ones— there are even other stations dispatched with them, a full scale fire in a big hospital with lots of victims to save and lots of blazes to put out. They need to be quick and careful, but then again, it’s not something they haven’t dealt with before.
Bobby turns to Hen. “Hen, you’re on the second floor with Chim. Put out the fire, evacuate the inpatients, and get out .”
“Copy that, Cap.” Hen answers with a firm tone as Chimney nods his head.
“Buck.” Bobby looks at him, then Eddie who is standing next to Buck. “You two are on the base floor.”
After Buck shares a glance with Eddie, Bobby continues. “Most of the victims got out on their own but there are operating rooms on that floor. I want you to check all of them and see if anyone’s still inside.”
“Got it.” Eddie puts on his mask and helmet.
Bobby raises his voice slightly so the team can hear him clearly, there is a sharp undertone to it. “Keep your eyes open and your ears on your radios. If the building gets unstable, we are leaving.”
The words themselves sound commonplace or like a phrase every other house captain uses, but Buck knows they gain value and depth when it's Bobby who words them, he knows they are sincere and real, they even touch his heart most of the time because it wasn't usual for him to see people caring about his well being until only five or six years back. So they mean a lot. And for that he tries to be careful.
As careful as his nature allows, at least.
So that's what he is going to do now.
He's gonna be careful and doesn't risk his life.
They finish getting ready and with that, Buck and Eddie start walking into the fire.
They stick close to one another as they carefully make their way towards the hall and put out the blazes; thankfully the base floor looks mostly empty and they already evacuated the ones that were still inside, so all there is left to do is to extinguish the fire and check the remaining rooms.
"LAFD! Is anyone here?" Buck shouts as they go in the room.
There aren't a lot of flames so it gets relatively easy to see around the room.
"Do you see anyone?!" Eddie asks him behind his mask as they take one last look before proceeding to the next one.
Buck shakes his head. "No! Do you?!"
"No! We have to move to the next one!"
There is only one last room left and so far everything seems under control. Which while it's something Buck is grateful for; deep down he always knows when he and Eddie partner up, they work so seamlessly and things always go well.
Almost always.
They enter the last room and put out the fire and right before they leave, Buck feels the ground under him vibrating, making him slightly lose his balance.
"What was that?" He holds onto the nearest wall and snaps his head towards Eddie.
Eddie looks at him with his knitted brows, shaking his head. "I don't know. We have to leave."
Then, Buck hears Bobby's voice over his radio.
"Buck! Eddie! You have to evacuate, the building is not stable!"
Buck's face changes into a more serious reflection, still staring at Eddie and his heart skipping a beat.
Eddie speaks to his radio. "Was that an earthquake?"
"No, one of the upper floors' walls are collapsing, you have to get out!"
But before they can even move, the ground they stand on shakes harder this time and cracks begin to appear all around the walls, up to the ceiling.
"Eddie." Buck tugs at Eddie's arm to leave.
But they aren't fast enough.
The lights flicker as the ceiling breaks apart and falls on top of them with a loud boom sound, and the last thing Buck feels is the sense of doom before everything goes black.
Buck’s head hurts.
No, not just his head.
His everywhere hurts.
Buck slowly cracks his eyes open and chokes out a cough with a twisted face, dust particles swirling around the air. He is laying on his back under a small debris, and his face falls into a frown when he looks above to see the ceiling gave its half way.
He is under the debris. He doesn’t have neither his mask nor his helmet on, and the ceiling gave way. It doesn’t make any sense because the last thing he remembers is that he was on the base floor with Eddie, managing to put out the fire completely. And he felt the floor moving. And Bobby told them to evacuate.
Oh.
The ceiling collapsed right before him and Eddie were trying to le—
Wait.
He was with Eddie.
And the ceiling collapsed.
And now he is under the debris but Eddie isn’t with him.
Where is Eddie?
“Eddie.” Buck breathes out in a cough as he rolls over and puts his palms on the floor to push himself up, the dusty wreckage falling from him and onto the floor.
He has to find Eddie.
He slowly stands on his feet— swaying a little before he can fully gather himself up, and looks around. “Eddie?!” He has to find Eddie.
His head twists back when he hears a low grunt sound coming from behind, a painfully familiar one and he feels his insides twisting when he sees Eddie sprawled on the floor with his back resting against the wall and a fucking iron bar piercing right through his ribcage, his eyes barely open and weak huffs of air leaving his lips. Even from where Buck is standing, he can see the blood slowly spreading over the dirty yellow turnout coat and he wants to throw up.
Eddie is injured. Eddie is bleeding.
“Eddie!” Buck rushes towards Eddie’s side and crouches down next to him, his eyes briefly spotting the broken helmet and the mask rolled on the ground far away from them.
Eddie still has his eyes half closed and his head is slightly lolled to the side, so Buck taps his cheek until he sees Eddie’s glassy hazel eyes slitting open. “Eddie, wake up. Wake up.”
“Wh’...” Eddie’s voice comes out as a mumble as he blinks a few times and breathes out another pained whimper, his brows wrinkling. When his eyes more open, he swallows a cough and tries again. “W- What happened?”
“The ceiling collapsed.” Buck blurts out while moving to Eddie’s other side— his injured side and presses his both hands on the wound.
A harsh scream tears Eddie’s throat and he writhes under Buck’s touch, his eyes clenching shut and his teeth gritted. It also makes him more alert because with the pressure, Buck sees Eddie gaining more consciousness and his eyes opening all the way even though he grunts.
“We were leaving.”
Buck can only nod as Eddie remembers what happened.
Eddie’s focus fixes on him as he stares at Buck, letting out a shuddering breath. “Are you hurt?”
That’s when he notices it. When Eddie asks him. He didn’t notice it before from the adrenaline but now that Eddie asks him, Buck feels the warmth on his side, dampening his shirt under his turnout coat as the blood oozes from him, the feeling of sharp stabbing pain hitting him all of a sudden. But it’s not important. Eddie needs him. He’ll be fine.
So, Buck shakes his head. “I’m okay, I’m not injured.”
To his answer, Eddie nods his head with visible relief. “Good.”
When Eddie’s eyes start to droop, Buck presses his hands harder, Eddie’s blood painting his hands. “No sleeping.”
Eddie forces his eyes open and utters out a groan. “Keep me awake, then.”
“Look at your lazy ass expecting everything from me.” Buck chuckles quietly.
A tiny smile finds Eddie’s lips at the comeback, but then it dies down. “When do you think they will get to us?”
That, Buck has no idea.
Buck takes in a deep breath, barely ignoring the urge to whimper when his abdomen stretches, and shakes his head, lifting his head to wander his eyes around the room. “I don’t know. But they will.”
They have to.
They are still not here, and the pain on Buck’s side slowly becomes too much to ignore. It hurts, it burns, it stretches. It bleeds. He feels his skin dampening with sweat and the beating of his heart getting quicker as the minutes pass by. He must have made a sound, because Eddie looks at him suspiciously.
“You okay?” Eddie asks, worry overflowing from his weak voice.
Buck gives him a tiny nod, swallowing down a pained whimper behind his clenched teeth and pressing on Eddie’s side, trying to hide the way his hand shakes. He breathes out through his nose to compose himself before he speaks. “How are you?”
Eddie licks his lips and slowly tilts his head back to rest it against the wall. “Tired.”
He looks bad.
The bleeding hasn’t completely stopped, and Eddie is getting weak. His pale skin glistens with sweat and the way his chest rises and falls has become quicker than before.
They are wasting time.
“Talk to me.” Buck says and looks at Eddie with a smile. “How’s Chris?”
Eddie lets out a chuckle but it turns into a coughing fit; his face twists in agony and he tries to double over but Buck puts his one hand on Eddie’s shoulder and holds him down to not move, leaving his blood stained hand print on Eddie’s coat. Eddie closes his eyes for a moment and until he manages to keep his breathing and coughing under control. “You saw him two days ago.” Eddie croaks out.
“Well.” Buck shrugs. “I still want to know how he is.”
Eddie smiles, his eyes shining at the mention of his son. “He’s good. He got an A on his essay.”
Buck’s eyes widen in amazement, his lips twisting up. “That’s my best friend.”
“Yeah.” Eddie whispers.
It’s the way Chris manages to pull them out of their misery even with the mention of his name. It’s the way Buck wants it forever. The way Buck wants Eddie to have it forever.
That’s why they have to hang on just a little longer.
The room falls into silence until Eddie’s too soft voice breaks the silence, Buck wishes it didn’t.
Eddie tilts his head and stares at Buck with fondness. The same look Buck saw on Eddie’s face in the afternoon. Only hours ago. “I’m glad he has you.”
“Yeah. He has you, too. So…” Buck’s brows knit and he presses harder.
They are not doing this.
But Eddie doesn’t stop.
“Buck, you know what I mean.”
Buck shakes his head maybe a little too fast. “Shut up. You’re not dying.” His voice doesn’t tremble. It doesn't. His face doesn’t feel too hot and tears don’t prickle behind his eyes. Why would they, Eddie won’t die.
Eddie lifts his hand and places it on top of Buck’s. Now his hand is painted with blood, too. With his own blood. He vaguely squeezes Buck’s hand. Buck hears a quiet sniffle before Eddie talks. “Thank you for coming into my life.”
“Shut up. Please.” Buck drops his head and his face crumbles, he sucks in a shuddering breath. Tears falling down to his jaw. He can only manage a wet whisper. “Please.”
“It’s okay.”
No. It’s not okay.
Buck needs to get a grip.
He removes his hand that’s at the bottom and puts it on Eddie’s, pushing hard and causing Eddie to groan and squirm. “You’re not dying.” Buck looks at Eddie. A determination flashing his eyes. “I won’t let you.”
They are trapped in here for hours and Eddie is slowly dying each passing second. There's no talking anymore because no matter how Buck tries to get him to talk, he only makes out a couple of words, not even a full sentence. There is a slight shiver running through his weak body, his skin pale and damp with sweat, his breathing shallow. His eyes are still open, thank god, but they are barely focused on anything.
And Buck is scared. He is so scared he wants to cry. He is crying, he is crying quietly without making it obvious to Eddie, silent tears streaming down his face and making his vision blurry as he keeps pressing his hands on Eddie's wound. They are trapped in a hospital and Eddie is slipping away right before him. He doesn't know— no, he knows his heart isn't strong enough to handle if anything happens to him. He knows if something happens to Eddie, it will kill him, too. But he can't think about that right now.
His hands are shaking, but not because he is scared, but also he himself is losing a lot of blood, too. Not that it matters right now, but he didn't even give himself a thorough check up, he doesn't know how severe his injury is, the only thing he knows is that it hurts so bad and Buck barely keeps himself from doubling over and writhe in pain. He has more important thing to do that is keeping Eddie alive but apparently he is fucking failing at it.
He needs to do something, something, anything that keeps Eddie alive. He doesn't care what as long as it keeps Eddie stable until the hospital.
Wait.
They are in the hospital. There has to be something that he can use.
Buck holds Eddie's other hand that's resting on his thigh and places it on his wound— his hand is cold, Eddie's eyes slowly gaining focus on the sudden movement and looking at Buck with questioning eyes, a frown barely visible on his face.
Buck has to take a few breaths before he speaks. He notices he may be breathing a little too quickly. "I need you to keep your hands here, okay?"
"Wh-What are you doing?" Eddie's voice is hardly audible between his labored breaths.
Buck puts his hand on the wall for support to get on his feet but the second he gets up, everything spins and there are white dots around the edges and he feels his stomach twisting and turning, fuck he feels like he's gonna pass out but no, no, now is not the time, it's not the time, Eddie needs him and he has to do something.
"Buck?"
Buck doesn't bother answering as he takes a look around the half collapsed room. One side of the room is blocked with a mountain of debris but on the other side, there are some drawers and a cart on the other side of the room and maybe he can find something.
Buck takes a step towards the drawers and this time he can't hold down his agonized whimper because it's the first time he is on his feet since he first noticed his injury and his muscles stretch around and burn and his hand lifts up to press his side, another shaky mewl ripping his throat, behind his pursed lips. He shakes his head and blinks frantically to clear his vision, chewing the insides of his cheeks to not make any more sound and after what it feels like he just ran a marathon, he opens the first drawer with his shaking hands, the biggest hope growing in his chest.
And his hope shatters.
He sees nothing. There is nothing in the first drawer.
He feels a heat on his face, behind his eyes, a wetness on his cheeks.
He tries again and goes for the second drawer, and right there, he sees an IV tube and a couple of cannulas.
They aren't even useful.
But maybe they are.
Oh, they are just what Eddie needs.
He gathers two cannulas and an IV tube in his hand and makes his way next to Eddie, his knees hitting the ground.
Eddie's hands are dropped on his sides, his chest rising and falling fast.
Buck needs to hurry.
He takes out his turnout coat, his eyes clenching shut and a hiss leaving his lips at the tugging pain. Now that he is only in his LAFD shirt, he has no way to hide anything anymore.
He wrinkles the coat to put it on Eddie's wound and presses his kneecaps on to keep it there.
Eddie chokes out a scream and his eyes flinch open, but his brows furrow and his eyes brim with terror when he looks at Buck.
"Y-you—"
Buck shakes his head. " 'm fine."
"You're— you're—" Eddie's face is in complete shock. "— bleeding."
Buck's side is drenched in blood, the fabric of his uniform sticking to his skin. It's the first time Buck gets a chance to see it with his own eyes but he can't dare to look down. He can't risk falling into a panic state or even worse, passing out.
"I'm fine." Buck's voice trembles.
He's fine, he has to be fine.
Buck holds Eddie's one hand and places it next to his side on the ground, palm flat on the surface.
"Wh-what are you doing?"
He takes the one end of the IV tube and sticks the cannula into it, when he tries to insert the needle into the visible vein on the back of Eddie's hand, Eddie flinches his hand away.
Of course Eddie understands. He is not an idiot.
When Buck holds Eddie's hand and tries to put it on the surface again, Eddie makes a fist, trying to pull his hand away under Buck's hold with all the strength he has left.
Eddie's voice is weak and only in a whisper, but there is a firmness to it. "Don't— don't even th-think about it."
Buck can feel Eddie's eyes on him, looking at him with an expression that will for sure break Buck in half, so he doesn't lift his face to look back.
"Give me your hand." Buck tries to get Eddie's hand to open, even in his weak state Eddie tries to pull back a couple of times but Buck has the upper hand, Eddie is the one who lost a lot of blood so it doesn't take much long for Eddie to give in and Buck places his palm on the surface again.
"Stop, please don't do it." A trembling whisper.
Eddie lets out a wince when Buck inserts the needle, his breath hitching in his throat.
Buck's fingers follow the line until they reach the other end and he stretches his arm to see his veins. The crook of his elbow is the safest bet, so he sticks the cannula in his vein, holding his breath to stop the shaking of his hand, his teeth digging his lower lip at the sudden pinch.
His one knee is still on Eddie's side, squeezing the coat so he is standing a little higher. It should all work out.
When Buck sees his blood coming out from him and following the line all the way into Eddie's vein, that's when he lifts his face to look at Eddie. Although he was not wrong, and the tears shining Eddie's glassy hazel eyes do break him. "I told you I won't let you die."
He feels cold. And weak. Buck feels himself shivering, and he can only breath to an extent, it's so erratic and shallow, not enough. He doesn't have the strength to stay like the way he is standing anymore, he feels his weak body slipping and slumping next to Eddie, their shoulders plastered like they were this afternoon, but totally under different circumstances. Buck feels his eyes slowly drooping but he forces them to open each time they close. He tilts his head and stares at the line for a while, watches the way his blood makes its way into Eddie's body. He feels himself hurting everywhere, he feels himself getting weaker and weaker as he keeps losing blood, all his strength slowly leaving him, but he couldn't care less.
Somehow, his hand finds Eddie's and stays there. Their hands are slippery and sticky, blood stained. Buck doesn't know if it's his blood or Eddie's, probably both. This time it's his hand that's cold; Eddie's hand feels warmer. Warm is good. It means what he's doing is working. It means Eddie will live. He got to save him this time, the rest isn't important.
"Cap, we cleared the way!"
Bobby's head shoots up to Hen's voice.
They wasted so much time. So much time and Bobby doesn't know what they will find inside. He doesn't want to think about it because he may not recover from the worst case scenario if it happens.
"Go!" Bobby shouts at his crew as they rush inside, him leading the way.
His heart drops when he takes a look around the half collapsed room. There are wires and bars hanging from the half broken ceiling, debris and dust surrounding the floor; the place looks like a warzone.
But then, Bobby's eyes catch a handprint on the wall, painted with blood. He feels his heart pumping too fast in his chest, threatening to break his rib cage and burst out, and when he lowers his eyes to see two men, two familiar men slumped on the ground side by side, their uniforms and hands covered in blood, Bobby is sure his heart just stopped.
"Hen! Chimney!" Bobby runs towards his men and crouches down in front of them.
Both Buck and Eddie look like they are tethering over the edge of death, their skin ghost pale and breaths erratic, eyes unfocused and glassy and fuck there is an IV line between them with blood in the middle of the tube, not moving, not transfering and everything is too much for Bobby to understand, his mind doesn't comprehend anything so he takes the needles off of Buck and Eddie. Bobby checks their pulse— it's rapid, while Hen and Chim drop next to him and Bobby lets them take care of Eddie as he checks up on Buck.
"Buck, hey." Bobby's voice comes out unsteady but he barely hears himself from the blood rushing through his ears, it makes everything hard to hear, his hands are shaking and Buck is not answering him, he is just staring at nothing with his almost closed misty blues and his chest is rising and falling erratically. "He needs oxygen!"
Hen and Chim transfer Eddie onto a headboard, being extra careful to not touch or move the bar piercing him, and slide an oxygen mask over his face.
Fellow firefighters get Bobby a headboard and a mask, Buck pliant under Bobby's touch as he himself holds Buck and lays him on the board and Buck looks weak he looks so weak and they need to go to a hospital now or both his men, his family will die and Bobby isn't strong enough for this.
The first thing Eddie is aware of is the steady beep sound near him. The second thing is the sterile scent. He cracks his eyes open and stares at the white ceiling, he is laying in a single bed and he is… pain free?
Oh, he is in the hospital.
He was injured, he was bleeding, they were trapped. Buck was with him. Buck was also bleeding.
Buck gave him his blood.
And he is in the hospital, alone.
Where's Buck?
"Hey, easy. Calm down." He feels a hand on his chest holding him down, the beeping sound getting unsteady, Eddie twists his head to see Bobby sitting next to him— he looks tired, his hand holding him down to lay on the bed.
No, no he doesn't need rest, he needs to see Buck.
Eddie brushes Bobby's hand away and tries to prop himself up on his elbow. His mouth feels like sand when he speaks, scratching his throat. "He— where's—" Eddie breathes out and looks at Bobby.
He is ready for only one answer. He doesn't want to hear anything else.
Bobby puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder. "Calm down, you're gonna hurt yourself."
The beeping sound gets louder. It's all he can hear. Where is Buck?
Eddie wraps his fingers around Bobby's wrist. He needs an answer. "Bobby—"
"He's fine. "
Oh, thank god.
Thank god.
An involuntary whimper escapes Eddie's lips. From relief? From fear? He doesn't know.
"He is in his room. Sleeping."
Eddie places his feet on the floor, his one hand bracing his side as he groans. "I need to see him."
Bobby shakes his head. "You need to rest."
"Bobby." Eddie holds Bobby's forearm. Holds him tight. He looks at Bobby with his shiny, vulnerable eyes. Ready to break. "Please." His voice shakes. "Please, I need to see him."
Bobby stares at him, his face understanding, fatherly. His eyes soft. He lets out a sigh. "Only for ten minutes."
"Thank you." He gets up with Bobby's help and leans on him as Bobby takes him to Buck's room.
He wasn't thinking about what to expect, he was expecting everything and nothing, and yet still his heart shatters when he steps into Buck's hospital room and sees him.
There are IV bags hanging from a pole next to his bed, one with blood in it, one with a clear solution, a nasal cannula in his nose, and a steady beeping sound on the other side of the bed. Buck is laying in the bed completely still, his cheek slightly pressed on his pillow, face slack and relaxed, his chest rising and falling steadily.
He is alive.
With the help of his own IV pole, Eddie slowly walks towards Buck's bed— Bobby is waiting for him outside with his timer set to 10 minutes, he sits on the chair next to Buck.
There are a lot of things going through his mind, his thoughts are racing, his emotions are drowning him, he feels too much, but there is only one thing he cares about right now, only one thing he wants to do.
Eddie wraps his fingers around Buck's limp hand, careful not to rub the tape, squeezing his hand. He feels the soft skin underneath and it feels warm, it feels alive.
He brings his other hand to brush Buck's free curls, the tip of his fingers massaging his scalp lightly.
Eddie stays like this and watches Buck sleep until Bobby's calm voice gets his attention, letting him know he needs a rest and Buck will still be here when he wakes up, promising Eddie that he will take him to Buck after Eddie wakes up.
The next time Eddie sits next to Buck's bed, Buck wakes up.
Eddie is resting his hand on Buck's forearm, holding him, his thumb brushing back and forth, he watches as Buck's breath hitches ever so slightly and his eyes slowly, slowly slit open, close again, another breath, and they open halfway, bluest eyes staring at Eddie gaining focus.
Eddie keeps staring at Buck, and Buck keeps staring at him, the only sound in the room coming from the monitor of Buck's heartbeat.
Then the frustration hits. The anger.
That fucker gave him his blood, and for what? So they both could die? So Eddie could live and Buck could die?
He feels angry, he feels so fucking angry so he doesn't open his mouth because he doesn't want to say anything he'll regret later.
So he keeps looking at Buck until he feels calmer.
After a while, Eddie finds it in him to speak. He sounds calm, which is a plus, but there is also something else in his voice. "Why did you do it?"
Buck doesn't answer him, he keeps staring at Eddie with his half open eyes, breathing steadily.
"Why did you do it, Buck?"
Buck swallows, his voice raspy from underuse. "I couldn't let you die." He says like it's a good answer.
Eddie chokes out a scoff— it's not even funny, he is only getting more upset. "So you gave me your blood while you were bleeding?" His jaws clenched.
Buck closes his eyes slowly, he probably needs a rest, he still looks weak as hell, but opens them again. "I don't regret what I did."
Oh, fuck this.
"That's the problem!" Eddie's voice briefly gets louder but it falls short with a wince and he places his hand over his stitches. Taking a deep breath. It doesn't help. He feels too much. "You act like your life doesn't worth shit and it doesn't matter if you live or die?! Like you are replaceable?!"
Like Buck is just a piece of flesh, nothing more.
Like he isn't the most important in his life after Chris.
It's far from the truth, and Buck doesn't see it. He doesn't believe it. He thinks he doesn't deserve it.
Only, Buck's expression changes. He looks baffled and surprised, like Eddie's reaction wasn't the one he was expecting. His blue eyes brim with tears, unshed. He looks so small. He looks fragile.
"Why are you upset?" Buck's voice trembles.
And Eddie can't help the bitter chuckle escaping his lips as he ducks his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. His anger and cry comes out as a chuckle because how fucked up could people be, how evil could they be to break this man to the point of twisting his brain, turning him into this broken human being who doesn't understand why Eddie is upset.
It breaks his heart. And he wants to pull Buck into his arms, keep him safe from the rest of the world.
He raises his head and looks at Buck, looks at him deeply. "You have no idea what you mean to this world, do you? What you mean to me. " His voice is soft like silk. Soft and fond.
A tear falls down Buck's face and he bites down his lip, muffling his whimper and trying his best to stop his face from crumbling.
Eddie's hand slides down and wraps his fingers around Buck's hand. He feels his own tears forming. "You're trying to keep everyone safe by risking your own life, but you don't know how my heart aches when something touches a hair on your head."
Buck stays silent, listening to every word Eddie says, and his tears keep falling, looking at Eddie like Eddie is giving him life, which Eddie finds funny because it's actually the other way around.
He has a lot to say, but he doesn't want to go hard on Buck, not when he is like this, and they will have plenty of time to talk about every little thing anyway, so he decides to drop it for now.
Eddie lets out a sigh and wipes his tears. "We're not done with this, but I'm starving."
It brings a smile on Buck's lips, a soft one, and he nods. "Me, too." He agrees but his eyes slowly droop, letting Eddie know that he will be asleep soon.
"How about we order pizza? I'm sure Bobby will let us sneak it inside." Eddie smiles as he watches Buck's eyes closing all the way down, his voice lulling him to sleep.
By the time Eddie is done with his phone call, Buck is already fast asleep, quietly breathing through his parted lips, his face relaxed, even more so than before.
Eddie sits in his place next to Buck, the tip of his fingers intertwined with Buck's.
The food can wait, he'll be here when Buck wakes up.