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He’s been sitting here with Childe outside the tavern for about five minutes; and neither of them has said a word. Which isn’t weird in of itself mind you.
Truth be told, normally Diluc would actually prefer the silence over empty small talk.
And his partners understood that.
Normally, they would sometimes try to start a more interesting conversation that he could genuinely engage in. Normally, they would settle to sit in silence with their drinks when they caught onto his mood. Normally…even Childe respected that boundary and never pushed the redhead to do or not do something he didn’t feel like doing.
And normally, the ginger would get straight to the point as to not waste time or drain his social battery.
But Childe isn’t acting normal right now.
This whole situation, as mundane as it may seem, is probably one of the most awkward situations Diluc has found himself in since meeting the Harbinger (and they’ve literally tried killing each other so…).
It isn’t normal because Childe hasn’t said a word to him since he requested (nervously at that) to speak with the tavern owner in private a few minutes prior.
At first, Diluc assumed that the younger would just start speaking once they’d sat down, getting straight to the point like he always does. And it did seem like Childe was going to do so; before promptly snapping his mouth shut and lowering his head, avoiding Diluc's crimson gaze.
Upon seeing this, the young tycoon had waited a few moments to let the other think before asking him if there was a reason Childe had wanted to speak with him.
To which the younger had only recoiled even more after failing to find the words a second time.
After this, Diluc decides it best to just wait. But that brings us to the current predicament.
It's been a good seven or so minutes by now. He really needs to head back inside soon to help Charles but he doesn't want to be rude.
It doesn't seem to be a pressing matter but...
"Umm...we can always talk later if you're not ready to-"
"Where do we stand?" Childe finally blurts out, his eyes squeezed shut.
Diluc blinks.
"What-”
Unsure cobalt eyes look up to meet his own. Diluc realizes then that this is the first time they've actually made eye contact this entire evening. But the moment passes as Childe averts his gaze to the side again.
“I mean I know you care about Zhongli and Thoma just as much as I do. And I know we don't...hate each other anymore, or at least, as much as we used to...well actually I never truly hated you to be honest its just-“
“Childe.”
He flinches at the stern interruption.
Diluc, taking note of this, continues but with a much softer tone, “What are you really trying to say?”
While the tension in his shoulders is still present, the younger forces himself to look him in the eye.
"Do...do you love me?”
Diluc freezes for a moment, taken aback and completely unprepared for such a question.
On the other side of things, Childe interprets his still face and lack of response as disgust (and maybe anger?).
“I-I'm sorry! You don't have to answer that. I shouldn't have asked in the first place..." He trails off with a very weary (and very fake) attempt at a reassuring smile.
With a sudden feeling of embarrassment (and pressure building behind his eyes) Childe decides it's time to leave, "I apologize for wasting your time."
"Childe..."
Is he seriously just going to leave it at that?
"Rest assured, I'll be taking my leave now."
None of this is reassuring in the slightest.
"Again, I'm sorry."
Stop apologizing...Are those tears?
“Hey wait!” Diluc grabs his wrist from across the table, causing Childe’s eyes to widen in surprise. But he sits back down nonetheless.
“What?”
“You- you can't just say something like that and walk away!”
All he gets in response is an averted look of shame.
Diluc doesn't realize he hasn't let go.
“Look, you've been acting strange all evening, and now…this. What's going on with you, and don't lie.” He says, eyebrows furrowed in genuine…worry?
Ha, as if.
Diluc speaks again as if reading his mind, “Please talk to me.” He accompanies his pleasing statement with a light squeeze to Childe’s freckled arm, before retracting his hand.
Diluc holds his gaze before the ginger sighs out tiredly, “It’s not that big of a deal, really…I’m just being ridiculous.”
“It’s not ridiculous at all- whatever you’re feeling I mean. If you’re hesitant to tell me because it’s something I’ve done then-”
“No it's not!” Diluc gives him a look, “Well…sort of but it’s not- it’s not like you did anything bad I swear.”
Diluc hums, indicating him to continue on his own terms.
“It’s just. I know you're not a very vocal person when it comes to…expressing yourself. You’ve told us how you're not good with words and that you mostly prefer physical affection or just hanging out together. I get it, really. But…”
Childe has to press his lips together to keep from breaking down at this point. However his eyes betray his intention as they start to fill with unshed tears.
Diluc considers taking his hand but he has a feeling that would just send him over the edge.
So the younger continues disregarding how shaky his breathing has become, “But when I see how gentle you are with Thoma or h-how you smile at Zhongli and- and I think about how you looked at me the first time we met and our fights and how you wanted me dead and I just-”
The ginger doesn't realize that he’s borderline hyperventilating now and that the tears he’d been trying to fight back, have long since fallen.
He also fails to notice Diluc standing up and rounding the table before promptly wrapping his arms around Childe’s shaking frame.
He freezes momentarily before burying his face into the man’s chest while clinging to him.
“Shh, it’s okay I’ve got you.” Diluc soothes while running his hands through ginger curls.
The younger man cries silently for a moment longer before the older man speaks again, voice soft and overflowing with sincerity, “Well first, I’m sorry for making you feel like you’re less important to me or that I don’t care about you as much as I do the others.” Childe forces down a sob.
“But Jax, that couldn’t be further from the truth.” His eyes widen at the new nickname, “Yes we’ve had our differences and…we’re still learning to trust each other fully of course. But I need you to understand that I care. I care about you deeply Ajax. I don’t know when it happened but,” Diluc chuckles fondly, “You’ve managed to become an important person in my life, regardless of how much I tried to push you away. Now that I think about it, you and Kaeya are similar in that way. Honestly, I’m quite lucky and grateful for you both.”
At this point, Childe eyes have begun to spill again. He doesn’t know what he was expecting but it certainly wasn’t this. Regardless, he gathers up the courage to look up at his partner. He is met with beautiful ruby eyes and a gentle smile.
A calloused hand comes around to cup his cheek, carefully wiping away his tears, “That means I want to take care of you just like I do the others. When I look at you, I see someone I want to protect, someone worth loving .”
Childe chuckles bitterly, “Oh please, you can't truly believe that.”
Diluc gives him a stern look, one underlined with sadness, “Of course I do. I don't care about the Fatui or my supposed hatred towards you anymore. I only care about you and making sure you're safe and happy.”
The younger man sniffles, “You really mean that?” He pleads.
“Every word…And to answer your question…”
Childe’s eyebrows knit in confusion (having forgotten what he even asked earlier).
“...I do love you. I’m not exactly sure…how I do…but I’m sure of it.” He sighs frustratedly, “Agh, this isn't making any sense is it?”
The Harbinger lets out a genuine laugh for the first time that evening, “Don't worry I got the gist.” He smiles softly, “Thank you, I needed that. And…I love you too.” He declares before deposing a light kiss on the redhead’s cheek.
Diluc’s eyebrows raise a smidge as a blush spreads across his face and ears. And the ginger can’t help but laugh again at such an adorable reaction.
But regardless of his embarrassed grumbling, the amputee takes Childe’s face between his hands, leaving a kiss in the middle of his forehead.
And in that moment, Ajax knows they'll be ok.
They both do.