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Rex. It’s just Rex. Deep breaths.
Echo hadn’t felt this nervous around Rex since she’d been a shiny. Since she’d been comfortable in her body (her whole, unbroken body), and a he instead of a she. Rex was some of her closest family. Her ori’vod . She could tell him anything.
Except this. She couldn’t tell him this. And she didn’t even know why.
Rex had always been supportive of transgender vode, even going out of his way to make them feel welcomed and correct anyone who’d addressed them wrong. There was, obviously, nothing to worry about. If Rex supported Kitty, Luna, Hope, Static…surely Echo would be supported as well.
But coming out was far scarier than it had any right to be.
As the Marauder hurdled through hyperspace towards Bracca, Echo found herself unable to control her leg, bouncing rapidly, little metallic clangs shivering through the ship’s floor. She sat in the copilot’s seat, an idle passenger as Tech monitored the ship’s systems. Not much to do but wait, now that the chip scanner was finished.
Across the cockpit, Hunter kept flashing indecipherable little glances towards her.
She glanced back. He was frowning, a few fingers pressed firmly against his temple. The leg bouncing, then.
Echo forced her leg to still, but less than a minute later, the bouncing began again of its own accord.
Hunter stood, crossed the cockpit, and forcibly turned the copilot’s chair to face him, hands planted on both armrests. “We need to talk.”
“Is it bothering you that bad? I can go somewhere else if you need,” Echo reasoned.
Hunter sighed. “No it’s…it’s okay. We need to talk about something else.”
Echo bit her lip. Was it that obvious?
Tech swiveled around to face them. “You don’t have to tell him, you know.”
“I should,” Echo mumbled.
“You’re hardly ever this jittery about anything, Miss ARC Trooper,” Hunter said firmly. “C’mon. Something’s up.”
“According to his records, Captain Rex was a fierce advocate for transgender troops,” Tech said. “Were those records falsified?”
“What? No!” Echo exclaimed.
“Did he say something offensive once? Are you worried he…”
Echo cut Hunter off. “No! It’s nothing like that! Rex was always supportive. I know he wouldn’t reject me for this.”
“So…?” Hunter questioned. “What’s the problem?”
Echo gnawed on her lip again, gaze flickering uncomfortably between Hunter and Tech. “Look, I just, it’s hard to explain, I don’t know.”
“Guys! Leave her alone!” Omega’s voice suddenly carried in from the doorway. She stomped over to them, and Wrecker lingered in the door behind her, looking unsure, and still a little pained, likely from the headaches he’d been experiencing. The tension in the air probably wasn’t helping. “She can tell Rex when she’s ready. It’s not the end of the world if he doesn’t know.”
“Yeah, I was wonderin’,” Wrecker said, sheepish. “Because I don’t like callin’ you the wrong thing, but if Rex doesn’t know…”
“I don’t like it either,” Hunter said. “You’re our sister, and I don’t want to hide it.”
“Hunter! ” Omega scolded. “It’s not up to you!”
Hunter startled at the brash tone. “Omega, please—”
“She is rather knowledgeable on the subject,” Tech interjected.
“Shouldn’t we just listen to what Echo thinks?” Wrecker chimed in, hoping to shut the impending argument down before it began.
“I was trying to—” Hunter said.
“No you weren’t! ” Omega cried.
“None of you are being helpful,” Tech observed.
“I think we need to stop arguing about this,” Wrecker said gently, rubbing the side of his head.
“We’re not arguing!” Hunter argued.
“STOP!” Echo yelled. All eyes snapped to her. She’d placed her head in her hand, and was shaking the slightest bit. “Just. Stop. Please.”
No one dared speak another word. They shuffled around, giving Echo space, waiting for her to calm down enough to continue speaking.
“I…I get that it’s weird,” Echo began, “to talk to him and have to act like nothing’s changed. But that’s how it has to be, for now. Because I’m terrified of telling him. And I don’t know why, so if you’d all stop hounding me about it, that’d be great.”
“I’m sorry,” Hunter murmured.
“It’s okay,” Echo said. “I’m not exactly making this easy.”
“What can we do to help you?” Tech asked, fidgeting slightly.
“What I want,” Echo said, standing up, “is to go sit alone for a while, and think about it.”
And so she did.
Before they met Rex on the ground, Echo pulled Hunter aside. “If I tell him, can I ask you to be with me?”
“Of course,” Hunter said. “And Echo, I’m sorry. Omega was right. It’s not up to me who you come out to. I just…”
“I know,” Echo said, smiling slightly, a subtle twitch to the corners of her lips. “I know. You mean well. It’s okay.”
Hunter returned the smile, and they continued on to meet Rex.
As they walked through the vast graveyard of ships, Echo and Hunter managed to corner Rex at the front of the group, leaving Wrecker, Tech, and Omega to marvel at the scenery behind them. Seemingly sensing something was up, Rex turned to them. “How’s it going, boys?”
Echo had to suppress a flinch at the term.
Hunter spoke before Echo had the chance. “Yeah, uh, about that…” Echo shushed him with a finger placed to her lips. “Sorry.”
Rex furrowed his brow. “What’s going on?”
“It’s not a big deal,” Echo said quickly, before her brain could catch up with her. She felt… weird. A tightness in her chest, a lump in her throat, an odd heat creeping up the back of her head. It was a horrible anxiety, the likes of which she had never really felt before. Something similar overcame her the first time she’d come out, to Hunter and the rest of the Batch, but not nearly so intense. It was almost frightening, but Echo knew it was just an automatic response from her body, and tried to ignore it.
“It is a big deal, actually,” Hunter said.
“Not helping!” Echo said through gritted teeth.
“One of you. Explain. Now,” Rex said, and oh, that was his Captain voice. Oops.
“Alright, maybe it is a big deal,” Echo said quickly. “But it’s not…it’s, uh…you don’t have to worry, okay? It’s not bad. I just have to tell you something.”
Rex wasn’t placated. He stopped walking, looking between the two of them expectantly. Echo looked to Hunter, who offered an encouraging smile, and then back to the others. Omega seemed to realize what was happening fairly quickly, and ushered Tech and Wrecker to stay back where they were.
Clever girl.
Echo paused, biting at her thumb where there was a seam on her glove. Her brain took another moment to catch up. “Sorry. This is hard for me. And it shouldn’t be,” Echo began. Rex raised his eyebrows. “I know you’ll accept me no matter what. You’re my closest family, Rex.”
“Echo, what…”
Echo held up her hand in a halting gesture. “Let me finish,” she said. “I just thought I should tell you, that I’m…well, first, I’m still Echo, and I’m not really… doing anything about this. But—“
“Echo,” Hunter drawled, a little amused sounding. “C’mon. Spit it out. You’ve got this.”
Deep breath. Echo felt her artificial lungs fill, filtering through Bracca’s polluted air, and let it all out through her mouth with a soft woosh.
Rex was…perplexed.
“I’m…a girl, now. I think maybe I’ve always been a girl and I didn’t realize? The rest of the Batch knows. I already said but I’m still Echo, just with she/her pronouns instead, and I don’t want you to make a big deal out of it, ‘cuz I’m really nervous about it, okay? So…”
“Echo.” Rex interrupted. Echo realized abruptly that she’d been looking at her boots instead of her brother. Her gaze snapped up to meet him, and all she saw in his eyes was love. “Echo, I’m proud of you.”
Echo smiled shakily.
“So am I,” Hunter added. “You have no idea how nervous she’s been about telling you this.”
“Oh, vod’ika, ” Rex said.
“It’s not you,” Echo reassured. Her lungs burned with every breath she took, like she wasn’t getting enough air. What good are artificial lungs if I can still hyperventilate by accident? “It’s just that you’re the only thing I have left, of before, and I don’t want things to be different. Even though I’m happier this way, and I knew you’d accept me. It’s still different, and it’s scary, alright?”
“It’s alright. Breathe,” Rex said. Echo tried as hard as she could to obey. Rex moved to put his hand on Echo’s shoulder, but hesitated; probably remembering that Echo wasn’t always fine with unwarned touch. When she made no move to get away from him, Rex clasped her shoulder firmly. “I’m glad you told me. And I’m sorry you had to figure it out after the galaxy’s gone to shit. I’m sure it’s not easy. If you ever need anything…well, it’s not like I have access to Kix’s stash anymore, but I’m sure I could find a source somewhere.”
“Rex, are you offering to get me black market hormones?” Echo laughed, only slightly embarrassed.
“We might need to start looking for Omega’s sake, if not yours,” Hunter commented.
“Well, anyway,” Rex coughed. “The most important thing right now is removing your inhibitor chips, so we should really get going. But I’m happy for you, yeah? Can I…”
Rex hesitated, but Echo figured out pretty quickly what he wanted.
Echo fell into his arms like she belonged there, burying her face in the warm crook of Rex’s neck. She felt shiny and new again—stark-white armor, fresh-faced, still growing accustomed to the horrors of war. But Rex would always be there for her.
Her breath came evenly, her heartbeat slowing to something manageable. She was calm, and safe, and loved.
“Thank you,” Echo whispered.
“Kih’parjai, Eyayah, ” Rex mumbled back. He pulled away, briefly knocking his forehead against Echo’s before stepping back. “C’mon. Let’s get going,” and then, as an afterthought, “little sister.”
Echo smiled wide, motioning back for Omega and the rest of the Batch to join them. And they continued on into the unknown.