Chapter Text
It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't so blatantly obvious, if it weren't so damn purposeful. It would have been completely innocent (if you squinted and turned you're head in a completely different direction) of it weren't for the tips of Dash's fingers disappearing between Danny's thighs. Mid-thigh, thank god, but no less possessive.
He rubs at the skin through the holes in Danny's jeans with his thumb and just /keeps driving/. Fenton just keeps tapping at his phone like its no big deal, like two 18 year old boys are not freaking the fuck out in the back.
Do they ask about it? Do they bring it up at all? Are they together? Kwan gasps a bit as he thinks... Are they /fucking/? Kwan and Mike make eye contact and Kwan can tell Mike was thinking the same thing.
Mike widens his eyes. 'What do we do?' He says with the gesture, both of them to afraid to talk. Kwan shrugs, his eyes widening as well. 'I don't know!' He looked away and shrugged again. 'Ignore it.' Mike nodded, they each looked out of their respective windows.
Most of the drive passed with minimal conversation, the only noise coming from the radio which was playing top 100 hits.. To say the least, Taylor Swift and Kendrick Lamar were not helping the situation.
Despite not wanting to ruin this tense atmosphere, made up of obliviousness and then quaking, over powering awkwardness, Kwan had to pee. It took him 3 tries to get himself to speak up and eventually he managed to articulate that Dash should stop at a gas station, because he had to fucking whiz.
Dash did so without much complaint, accept for saying he had the blatter of a girl which wouldn't bother Kwan to much if weren't holding hands with fucking Fenton.
Before he left, Dash threw a 20 at him, "Get me a coke," he looked back, "you want something?" He asked to Danny. As far as Kwan could tell Danny only nodded but when Dash looked back at him he said "Get'em a green tea, like the Arizona ones." Kwan nodded, wondering why a bro would know a bro's favorite drink without spending some quality bro time together.. as bros, and then looked at Mike and widened his eyes but this time it said 'Come the fuck inside with me.' Mike nodded. "I'm gonna go- with- to help carry.. Ok." And he stumbled out of the car and Kwan and Mike power walked inside stiffly.
Kwan and Mike collapsed in one of the gastation/subway combo tables and stared at each other for a very, very long time. "Dude." Kwan says, gripping the 20 with white knuckles. "Dude." Mike agreed, obviously shaken up. Both of them went to talk again but got no further then opening and closing their mouth like fish.
"Ok!" Mike said, stopping the nonsense, when he realized people where staring because of his outburst he leaned in further so the onlookers couldn't hear. "Before we throw down about this we have to get this leveled, so where on the same page... It's ain't because it's a gay thing, right?" Kwan shook his head fervently, "Dude, fuck, no! I ain't homophobic, you know me, man!" Mike put his hands up. "My dude, I am aware. Nether am I, it's just because..." He leaned in a little closer.. "It's because it's Fenton, right?" Kwan, once again, instantly. "Yeah, like, where did that even come from!! A year ago Dash was shovin' him in lockers and now their like-" Kwan stopped, looking for the word. "Married!" Mike added helpfully. "Yes! They act like a married couple."
"My dude, Dash, new Fenton's drink." Mike said, his hands in the air, flabbergasted. "That's fucking married status, I don't even know Starla's favorite drink!" Kwan sighed, exhausted by all the new information flooding his brain. They say in silence a second or two, digesting.
"Dude," Mike started, his eyes widening, "what if they are making out right now?"
"Bro.." Kwan said, shocked. "They totally are, if I was in that situation id be making out to."
"You'd make out with, Dash?"
"What, no, i mean-"
"With Danny?"
"No! Obviously he's with Dash. What the fuck."
Mike squints at him suspiciously. ".. So if he /wasn't/ with Dash?"
Kwan stared at Mike for a long while, trying to decipher where he could be going with this. After a moment he shrugged. "He's cute." He said, picking at the twenty, smoothing it out to try to look nonchalant. "Like if he was like 'Kwan, I'm not fucking your best friend and I'm dtf with no strings attached' I'd be like 'I don't know, Danny, Dash seems to really like you with all that thigh holding and drink memorizing' and Danny would be like 'but I /insist/-'"
"Dude." Mike said, shaking his head disappointedly. "You're such a slut." Kwan looked only a little ashamed, "I know." He said forlornly.
"Anyway!" Mike said, taking the twenty and standing. "Let's go get the drinks. Didn't you have to pee?"
"Fuck, yeah!" Kwan stands hurriedly, glancing around for a bathroom in a panic.
Mike gathers a Coke and an Arizona, buying himself a Sprite with Dash's money and not really caring if he would mind. "What do you do when your friend is gay and dating a guy that he used to hate." He asked the cashier. Aesthetically, the guy didn't look like he gave good advice. In fact he was actually a little scary.
When he spoke his voice was thick with a Russian accent. "Buy box of condoms for homosexual friend for birthday. Tape note saying you do not mind. That you are still friend. Remind him that life will be hard and cold to him but you will be there for him all times." He rung up the drinks and put the in a plastic bag. Mike was transfixed and took the bag numbly. "Thank you." He said feeling truly honored to have been on this mans presence.
Kwan caught up with him while he was walking out the door. "Dude, was that guy Russian?" Mike replied without thinking, "No he took his time."
"Dude." Kwan said, disgusted.