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The van they were in was filled with smoke. Mike didn't bother to stick his head outside and then do whatever he wanted to do. He smoked inside, much to Will's disapproval. He did not expect that his friend had planned on stealing his brother's drugs when he said that this car was the best place for a sleepover. Mike was laying down on the floor, rolling on his stomach from side to side.
“Will! I have to talk to you brother, holy shit!” Mike finally collected himself and tried to sit next to his friend. He wrapped his arms around Will's waist trying to sit straight. Will looked him up and down, confused. “I’ve never felt this… Joyful! Do you think he would give us more?”
“No, I’m afraid this is impossible.” He was beyond determined to make this Mike's first and last time. He already knew 2 stoners and he was satisfied with that. Mike didn't have to become the 3rd one. Will definitely didn’t want him to become the 3rd one. That would be way too much to handle. These previous ones were adults but Mike was still a minor and weed would be bad for his health. It was bad for their health too but Mike’s well being was a bit more important for Will.
“Oh c’mon! Jonathan likes you! He will give you some more!” Mike whined, leaning onto the smaller boy. He acted way clingier than before and Will hated it. Not because of the touch itself but because it wasn’t Mike’s conscious decision. Sober Mike, who was Eleven’s boyfriend, would have never done such a thing, right?
"Please, just fall asleep already. I won't ask my brother to give me drugs!" Opposed Will. For once he could understand Steve's frustration caused by taking care of their group and pretend to be the more responsible one in the situation. His goal was to make sure Mike won't vomit all over himself. Bonus points for returning the van untouched. The dirty carpet would make Argyle sad and it wasn’t what Will hoped for. Even though they weren't friends, Will liked Argyle. He would even risk saying he trusted this man. The biggest factor that made Will fond of that weed loving pizza delivery guy, was the fact that Jonathan had found some comfort in him. Will’s brother had an amazing taste in people if you could call it like that. A compass which showed him who was worth the effort of befriending them. So Will has never questioned Jonathan’s judgment.
"Okay, okay! Let me give you ten reasons why life is beautiful and by that I mean why you should ask Jonathan for more and try as well!" Mike offered with a huge smile. Will adored every single detail on the other boy’s face. It made Mike’s facial expressions so… Intense. Mike’s anger, for an instance, sent shivers down Will’s spine. It felt like a tornado destroying a bunch of poorly made houses. Like a volcanic eruption with lava burning its way through a forest, causing a fire.
"I'm all ears, Mike. Let's hear this mind-blowing ranking." Will smiled. No matter how dumb his friend seemed, he was in fact really intelligent. Sometimes clueless when it came to social interactions but clever whatsoever. That was one of the many reasons why Will looked up to him so much.
“So for the 10th thing we haaave…” The boy got lost in thoughts for a few seconds, then spoke up again. “I didn’t think this through, I have to admit.” Okay, maybe Mike was higher than Will predicted. But it wasn't that bad. Will probably could say the stupidest thing ever and Mike would forget about this till morning. And on that note, he decided to let his guard down.
“Do you want me to give you ten reasons why you should drop this awful plan?” Will sighed, thinking that convincing Mike might be more than impossible. Mike was also really stubbo-
“Deal!” Oh. Oh? “So the 10th reason, falling asleep when it’s raining! Just imagine how cool it has to be when you feel like… Like this! And you hear the raindrops falling on a rooftop above your head. You- You fall asleep while listening to that and boom, whoosh, bang! The dreams you have… Oh these sweet dreams! You could dream about Dungeons and Dragons or playing the drums, or- or being a pilot of an airplane!”
“Why an airplane?” Will laughed, amused by the random fantasies his friend shared with him. He missed playing DnD with their party though. This game had been extremely important to him. Making campaigns became some sort of a coping mechanism. In between his regular scenarios, he kept these ones which contained NPCs based on various people who changed his life in one way or another. Cleric based on his mom even had her own character sheet in case the players would like to ask her to come with them. Jonathan also had his own character, a halfling who was a thief. Unlike Joyce, he told Will he’d actually play with them. Said session never came but the fact that his brother was down made Will… Proud? Yeah, he was proud of advertising this stupid activity to the point where he presuaded Jonathan.
Will hoped he would meet fellow nerds in California but playing with them wouldn’t be an option anyway. He and Mike promised each other they won’t play in new parties and as far as Will knew, his best friend broke the given word. Sure, it was disappointing but he got over it. In fact, he got over a lot of stuff regarding Mike. For example, this huge crush he developed on Mike in a span of all of these years they’ve been friends. It was simple, Mike was nice to him. He made Will feel different as in special, not weird. And that was enough for Will to be infatuated with him. Every single word Mike spat out, whatever he did, it made Will treat that boy like a hero, like his savior.
“...so yeah, rivers and kayaks are awesome. It’s too dry out here but I’d like to try.” Mike’s giggle woke him up. Will was zoned out for… A while? He didn’t know what to say after his friend finished that sentence.
“I’ll give you my 1st reason why you shouldn’t do drugs, okay?” Will didn’t wait for an answer. “You have a pretty smile! I like it, El sure does as well, your mum does! Marijuana might ruin your teeth. Sounds bad, don’t you think?” This simple lie sounded dumb for sober Will but for not so sober Michael, it could’ve worked.
“Maybe? But listen- listen! For the 7th reason, I prepared this script in my mind!” The boy threw his arms in the air, pretending his hands were puppets. “Woo, we have a garage band! I’m playing the guitar.” Mike imitated Argyle’s voice. “And um… We play- we play reggae! Paaass the dutchie!”
Argyle didn’t even play the guitar in real life but that was fine. Mike had fun and that’s all that mattered to Will. Also, Mike was a terrible singer that loved singing. Not the perfect combo but again, it didn’t mean anything as long as said boy enjoyed himself. When they were younger, Mike would perform songs from the tapes Jonathan gave Will and made his friend dance with him. Although the memory was positive, it made Will feel like he had this big hole in his heart. He missed the old times. He wished they could do such things once again. Without worrying about Hawkins. Not giving a single fuck about what people would think. Just the two of them in their own intimate world. A little egotistical dream but Will would like it to come true.
If he wanted to pursue this dream, he’d have to face his bullies, people who stared at him weirdly and his own thoughts. Their feedback wouldn’t be positive, for sure. And when you’re an insecure, traumatized, gay, teenage boy who lives in a small town and is in love with his straight best friend, that’s the last thing you want to deal with. Even with his mother, Jonathan and his friends, he would break under the pressure.
“Let me give you the next reason why! So…” Is it okay to tell Mike he’s good looking? Yeah, whatever. “You’re a really handsome guy. And these things will make you look less handsome. I don’t think you want to be not as handsome as you’re now?” He did not fuck this up. Did he? No he didn’t, right?
“I mean, this one girl who sold lemonade told me I was pretty. Do you remember this storm that came after we met her in the park? It wasn’t the 1st time we ignored the weather forecast. We were so dumb!” Mike catches Will’s attention one more time. “After a long day of running around we would return home for dinner. Yours always smelled like cinnamon! Was that because of your mum’s chestnut pie she gave us after the meal? Yeah, baking would explain why it’s always been so hot there! If we went to mine though, we would get yelled at. Oh, you ate some candy? No way! You’re grounded, Mike!” He said in the most theatrical voice he possibly could. “Honestly? It was embarrassing. I was ashamed of my father’s reactions. Sorry.”
Huh? The mood changed very quickly. Will didn’t like the direction their conversation took. “It’s all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits…” Will quoted what Argyles told him one evening.
Mike seemed extremely offended by that. He immediately looked around and started sniffing the air. His friend looked undeniably funny and Will barely could stop himself from laughing.
“These are false allegations!” Exclaimed Mike, pointing towards Will’s face. “HAHA! I know it’s just a saying, don’t worry!”
Oh, that’s a relief. That’s… Good? If Mike broke down right there and then, Will would cry with him. 100%! They reacted to stress in similar ways and crying worked for both of them for some unknown reason. So they sobbed together many times, as kids of course! Now it might have been weird. They were grown up and more mature. Bawling your eyes out in your friend’s arms didn’t give off a grown up and mature vibe.
Will wanted to take Mike back for these sad moments as well. Tears he had shared with his empty, cold room made him feel lonely, when the tears he wiped in Mike’s shirt were almost domestic. Life is sad sometimes. He would sell his own bones to share his sometimes sad, sometimes happy life with the boy who repeatedly forgot about his birthday. Yeah, that was another aspect of Mike he got over.
With the boy who had the wildest imagination Will ever heard about. That one time, when he questioned Mike’s creativity, he had to read a story about two of them buying an old motorcycle at a garage sale and taking a trip to some mountains and visiting the shore of the sea on their way back home. It was sweet. Will didn’t complain.
With his friend who gave him his smaller shirts so he didn’t have to wear wet clothes on the way back home after they played outside in the pouring rain. Technically, it was just a pay back favor. The wind always ruined Mike’s hair and Will was the one to take care of it. Maybe Mike felt bad and that was why he did that? Okay, he had to stop there or he’d cry.
“But really, I hate my father for that!” So they returned to the topic of that man. “I hate him for many reasons actually. This one time when you stayed at mine late, reading comic books, he found out we were sleeping together in my bed and well, let’s- let’s just say he wasn’t exactly happy about that because, and I- I quote, his son is not a… A fag?”
“He called you a faggot? Why- How did he even-” Will wanted to comfort his friend but he was at loss of words. For Will it was like that but he was sure for Mike it was a casual, friendly thing to do if you don’t have a spare mattress. Mike’s father made it weird. Does it mean Will has been making him feel uncomfortable since that day? Was he a living reminder of Mike’s father's insults? Oh god, please no.
“Yup, he did. And he also told my mother you’re a bad influence or something? Which- Which isn’t true! But this old idiot made up this concept in his mind and tried to push his beliefs onto the rest of my family…” Mike had to pause for 5 seconds. “They believed him. I mean, they thought what he said was true until… Until I figured finding a girlfriend would fix the whole issue. So I told them about El. That- That was very dumb because at the time, I wasn’t even with her. And- Holy shit, it’s so embarrassing! ”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to!” Will assured Mike, looking terrified into his eyes. Mike was about to say something secretive. The problem was, Mike wasn’t sober. It wouldn’t be okay for him to talk about such parts of his life while being high. Will did not want to be informed this way.
"Naah! Let me talk, I owe you an explanation! You just don't understand! It's been a very stressful day, fuck no… Week… Um- Period of time! And- And weed made me feel… Better. For a while." This whole speech was said on Mike's one breath. He clenched the back of Will's shirt in his fist and then continued the monologue. "And now, I’m just really, really sad. And I am glad you’re here, because you can make me happy, you know? And you’re… You’re the best for making me happy.”
Mike wasn't the type to open up about his feelings. Maybe that's why his friend didn't suspect something earlier? But he was good when it came to writing his thoughts down. He could’ve sent a letter! Did Eleven know about Mike’s struggles with these memories? There was no way. She asked Will about a lot of stuff but not that. They gossiped almost every single evening. Will would know.. There was no chance!
"I'm glad you know weed won't solve your problems." Woah. He managed to beat the 1st challenge. "I know we don't talk as much as we did but I'm here for you! I still believe you're… my best friend. No matter what!" He was grasping at straws, hoping he’ll make Mike understand he could trust Will. He was desperate.
"You're too nice to me. You’ve been lying for- for the whole evening just to convince me I’m an absolute idiot who doesn’t know how to take proper care of himself! And you know what? You’re 100% correct.” Mike let out a quiet sob. He couldn’t care less about Will seeing him crying the ugliest tears he’s ever squeezed out of his eyes. Mike hated lies but when Will lied to him especially with good intentions he wasn’t mad for some reason. Will on the other hand didn’t know what to do. It was getting out of hand. He should explain himself, that was the only way out of this mess.
“Mike, please, hear me out.” He took a shaky breath. “I don’t think I lied. It’s because I believe that you’re this smart. And I’m positive that you’re incredibly handsome. You’re all of that and more. I want the best for you and-”
“You are the best thing that happened to me, Will.” Mike interrupted him all of the sudden. “You deserve to know, at least I think so. I wish you would want- well you just told me, you want the best for me so I hope you’d want yourself for me- with me. I’m just afraid I would ruin you. Hurt you but also- also make you rotten. I feel rotten! And infecting you would be shitty.”
“What- what do you mean by ‘rotten’?” Will was stunned. Did Mike struggle with similar thoughts as his own? Why didn’t he tell Will? They were friends after all! Yes, he hasn’t told Mike either but Mike had a girlfriend and Will didn’t want to ruin their already fucked up relationship. That’s a solid reason not to tell him! They might have fought similar battles but at the end of the day, their cases weren’t the same.
“I feel like I am interested in- Not in El. That’s for sure.” Mike explained, fidgeting with the hem of his friend’s striped shirt. “Don’t get me wrong! I felt forced to find myself a girlfriend. To prove them wrong! To make them apologize to me. And Eleven seemed to be… Perfect? Kind of? She’s funny and- and nice! And even pretty or at least that’s what people say. But something was just… Off. I made out with her thousands of times before and it didn’t change anything. I waited, and waited and I still feel… Nothing. I hate this. I hate myself.”
That was a lot to process. Mike isn’t straight. Mike isn’t in love with El. Mike hates himself for that. Sober Mike wouldn't say all of these things. He buried that deep down in the darkest corners of his mind. Will wasted too much time waiting for him.
“It is not your choice, Mike… It’s not your fault that I don’t like girls. It isn’t your fault that you don’t like El. Fortunately or not, we cannot decide who we like.” Will rubbed Mike's back in circles. Just like the old times. Will felt bad for using that night as a way to feed his nostalgia.
“When I was… maybe 8 years old, Nancy gave me a notebook and encouraged me to use it as a diary.” Mike continued, avoiding eye contact. “And I did. On one of the pages I wrote down traits of a person that I could spend the rest of my life with. Sounds stupid but guess what… That was a description of nobody other than you, Will. I’ve known since I was a kid but it seemed- Holy fuck it still seems wrong. But hey- I’m… Yeah, I’m glad you understand.”
Will succeeded. Oh my god. They both were in love with each other. Will wanted to stand up, get out of the van and tell the whole world he wasn’t a loser! Mike liked him! Since the beginning! Holy shit!
“Mike, I love you so much, you’re-” Mike was asleep. He fell asleep in the meantime. Maybe that’s for the better? Yes. It’s better this way. Will would ruin Mike’s life. He would ruin El’s life too. And Ted would hate him even more. Not worth it. Will definitely didn’t want to make Mike more rotten.