Chapter Text
4:55 am
Dick created this chat ‘Batfam’
Dick added Damian, Stephanie, Tim, Jason, Cassandra, Barbara and Duke
Dick: for emergencies only
Stephanie: no
Stephanie changed their name to glitter girl
glitter girl changed the chats name to ‘power rangers’
Jason changed Dick’s name to dickhead
Jason changed Duke’s name to glowing lightbulb
Jason changed Tim’s name to delirious dipshit
Jason changed Jason’s name to coolest anti-hero
dickhead changed coolest anti-hero’s name to little hood
glowing lightbulb: yeah I’m not dealing with this
delirious dipshit: Stop
little hood: what the fuck?
dickhead: no swearing, little hood
little hood changed Damian’s name to bloodthirsty uptight demon
bloodthirsty uptight demon: Todd. What is the meaning of this? I am neither uptight nor a demon.
delirious dipshit: you just proved his point
glitter girl: timmy! wanna go out for Batburger later?
delirious dipshit: sure why not
is 6 in the morning a good time for you
glitter girl: thats so early
ok
delirious dipshit changed his name to tim
tim: we’re vigilantes steph. waking up at six is the equivalent of waking up at 2pm.
also its like 5am n im hungry
dickhead changed his name to dick
dick: guys i specifically said ‘emergencies’
dick changed Barbara’s name to our techrific hacker
our techrific hacker: That might be the worst pun you’ve ever made.
our techrific hacker changed dick’s name to dickhead
little hood: another formal texter
Cassandra: Hi
little hood: Hi Cassie
tim: hey
Cassandra: Can i join batburger
tim: of course
see you
glitter girl changed Cassandra’s name to badass body reader
little hood changed his name to Red Hood X DENIED
little hood: the fuck dick
little hood changed tim’s name to replacement no.2
replacement no.2: fuck you
little hood: when
replacement no.2: an incest joke?
really?
go fucking kill youself
wait no dont say
little hood: too late timbo
already did
dickhead: go sleep idiots its 5am
little hood: our sleep schedules can take a little more disruption