Work Text:
Ever since he was a child, Phillip had dreamed of entering the Kingdom of Heaven with his soul untouched by sin. It was a fantastical dream. Some even said “impossible”.
Phillip knew better.
While his contemporaries gave themselves over to revelry and their baser desires, Phillip studied the Word until his eyes had practically glazed over from exhaustion. He knew it so well, in fact, that he was able to correct Father’s sermons on occasion, which he held as a particular point of pride, regardless of said father’s less than grateful attitude.
It took twenty-eight years for the Lord to reveal His first challenge to the worthy disciple.
A challenge in the form of his brother.
Caleb, the dutiful son, the loving brother, the man who had taught Phillip to approach the world with love and temperance, was the first to fall into sin. He’d wanted Phillip to join -- to stay in the disordered abomination that was the Isles. He’d tried to convince him it was a paradise.
That it was their Kingdom.
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits.
When Phillip was thirty-three, he sent his brother to God’s Judgement.
It was the merciful thing.
Caleb was too mad, too wild.
Too persuasive.
It was better to commit a wicked act in the name of God, in any case; God saw Phillip’s heart. God would forgive.
And yet, Phillip found himself shouldering Cain’s burden, with the Kingdom maddeningly out of reach.
He had thought his children might provide some relief but they inevitably failed him.
And the girl... He pitied her, in some way. When they'd met, she was too far gone to save. Their recent confrontation had only proven that.
It was almost a relief when the Collector -- had sent him flying back. He was so sure he'd enter the Kingdom. He'd done everything right.
But as the world and his body broke into pieces, Phillip found he could still think.
He could still feel.
He could hate.
And, as he slammed the door to that infernal cabin behind him, slithering into the wider world with a purpose he hadn’t felt in centuries, Phillip finally recognized that entering the Kingdom was a fantastical dream.
If he hadn’t forefeit his place in it, he would never be able to truly serve.