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English
Series:
Part 2 of a bad idea to make an esmp highschool au (but i did anyway)
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Published:
2022-09-15
Updated:
2023-02-13
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28,082
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36/?
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a bad idea to put the empires in highschool

Summary:

[fWhip created group "Best class [E2]"]
[fWhip added Jimmy Solidarity, Joel, Pixlriffs, and 8 other people]

fWhip: HEYO
–––––
Or; the obligatory (mostly) chatfic featuring the ESMP! and *joel voice* LORE i guess
[ Now with the Hermits! They appear in chapters 25 to 34! ]

Notes:

a mix of chat and actual story sometimes
also please let me know if anyone's ooc, i have the tendency to do that sometimes

may be a bit scott / sausage centric now and then

Chapter 1: a bad idea to make class chats

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

fWhip created group "Best class [E2]"

fWhip added Jimmy Solidarity, Joel, Pixlriffs, and 8 other people

 

fWhip: HEYO

Pixlriffs: I assume this is for schoolwork and other tasks we would need help with.

Pixlriffs: I also assume that this will never be used for that purpose.

fWhip: yeah

 

fWhip changed their name to "little goblin man"

little goblin man changed Jimmy Solidarity's name to "LEADER"

 

Joel: leader as in woody

LEADER: STOP IT RIGHT NOW

Joel: nah

 

Joel changed their name to "Tall handsome sexy man"

Tall handsome sexy man changed LEADER's name to "Woody"

 

Woody: THIS IS DISRESPECT TO THE HIGHEST LEVEL

Scott: you seem maidenless, jimmy

Scott: let me help you with that

Woody: NO

Woody: SCOTT, YOU BETTER NOT

 

Scott changed their name to "Jessie"

 

Jessie: there we go

Shelby: why is my phone blowing up

Shelby: what's happening??

Tall handsome sexy man: were telling jimmy that hes a toy

Woody: I'M NOT

Tall handsome sexy man: wanna join us

Shelby: as soon as i read woody i knew it was jimmy

Woody: WHY DO YOU THINK I'M EVEN A TOY???

Pixlriffs: Don't you have a horse named Bullseye?

Jessie: it looks like bullseye from toy story as well

Shelby: this doesn't look so good for you jimmy

little goblin man: hes not a toy!! he is the sherriff!!

Katherine Elizabeth: Just because he's a sheriff doesn't mean he can't be a toy :)

Woody: NOT YOU TOO KATHERINE

 

Shelby changed their name to "The Great Witch"

The Great Witch changed Katherine Elizabeth's name to "Warrior Princess"

 

falsesymmetry: What's happening?

Pixlriffs: They're all calling Jimmy ( Woody ) a toy as he apparently resembles the protagonist from Toy Story. This is a running joke in the class, you'll get used to it.

falsesymmetry: Oh

 

JOEY GRACEFFA changed their name to "God of the Sea"

 

God of the Sea: ✨ I have arrived ✨

Jessie: welcome to the chat, where we relentlessly tease THE SHERIFF about being a toy

God of the Sea: Looks like this was made for me then

Woody: I can't believe you've done this

MythicalSausage: I'M HERE!!!!

Jessie: wood daddy!!!

MythicalSausage: COLOR PAPI!!

 

Jessie changed their name to "Color Papi"

Colour Papi changed MythicalSausage's name to "Wood Daddy <3"

 

Woody: I hate it here

GeminiTay: Why is this the first thing I'm greeted with?

Wood Daddy <3: GEM!!!!

Wood Daddy <3 changed GeminiTay's name to "Bee Queen"

 

Bee Queen: Actually princess but hello Sausage! :)

Wood Daddy <3: Now where's that gato?

Wood Daddy <3: LIZZIE??

Wood Daddy <3: @Lizzie

Lizzie: what is it

Lizzie: …"Wood Daddy <3"?

Lizzie: what is that name.

Wood Daddy <3: Scott calls me that!! :D

Lizzie: scott??

Color Papi: he gives me his loads of wood and is a dad

Color Papi: i'm not calling him 'tree father' that's just weird

Warrior Princess: As if calling him "Wood Daddy" isn't

Color Papi: wdym it's totally normal

Color Papi: isn't that right wood daddy <3

Wood Daddy <3: yeah!!! :]

Lizzie: you humans are weird

 

Lizzie changed their name to normal human

 

normal human: this is what i am

little goblin man: sure you are

little goblin man: no normal human would have to say theyre a normal human

Tall handsome sexy man: yeah like jimmy

Tall handsome sexy man: you keep saying your a normal human boy but you arent

Tall handsome sexy man: youre a TOy jimmy

Woody: STOP IT RIGHT NOEW

Woody: NOW*

Color Papi: noew <3

Woody: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE THIS

falsesymmetry: So this is how this class works?

falsesymmetry: It's just… chaotic?

Pixlriffs: Yep, this is how it is and how it's going to be for the rest of the year.

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 2: a bad idea to fight a drakon

Summary:

Ember Drakon, the threat of the school.
What's that? They're about to fight [redacted] from class E2?

…oh no

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

little goblin man: i heard something about how drakon is getting in a fight again

little goblin man: who did it

Color Papi: why are you asking us?

Color Papi: it's like, the second week why would we be fighting them

Color Papi: jesus

Tall handsome sexy man: yes?

Color Papi: not you, you're irrelevant

Tall handsome sexy man: >:O

Wood Daddy <3: Not me

Woody: Why would I fight the dragon?

little goblin man: idk, i heard them say something about fighting someone in class E2

The Great Witch: good luck to them ig

Warrior Princess: shelby…

The Great Witch: ?

The Great Witch: wait

The Great Witch: WE'RE CLASS E2

God of the Sea: There's the realisation

God of the Sea: Also no, I don't have the time for that

falsesymmetry: Drakon?

Pixlriffs: Ember Drakon, dragon hybrid. And no, I have not associated with them since the start of the year.

Bee Queen: Same here.

normal human: drakon's scary. i'm not fighting them

little goblin man: thats weird

little goblin man: i heard them mention a place btw

little goblin man: the gym and fight is tomorrow after school

little goblin man: i say we can all take them on together

Color Papi: oh

Color Papi: i need to help my parents with the llamas tomorrow so i'm not gonna be there

God of the Sea: Coward

Color Papi: no i'm serious owen is sick and we need to make sure the rest don't get sick either

Wood Daddy <3: NOT OWEN!! D:

Wood Daddy <3: I'LL FIGHT EMBER DRAKON FOR OWEN

Color Papi: i would if i could

Warrior Princess: No, you wouldn't

Woody: As the Sheriff, I probably should help out

little goblin man: if the sheriff is going, the rest of you have to as well

 

–––––

 

Color Papi: owen update - he's doing ok

Color Papi sent an attachment - myboy.png (an image of a very happy looking llama :D)

Color Papi: the rest are ok as well but they're not as important as my boy owen

Color Papi: …did you guys die

Color Papi: oh no

little goblin man: they werent there

little goblin man: apparently they were expelled because of some other rando??

Color Papi: thank god my wood daddy and toy boy are still alive

Color Papi: thanks pix for the toy boy nickname

Woody: PIX

Pixlriffs: In my defense, I did not think he would use that.

Woody: WHAT DID HE EVEN SAY

Color Papi: "scott just wants a toy boy again"

Woody: PIXLRIFFS

 

Pixlriffs left the chat

Woody added Pixlriffs to "Best class [E2]"

 

falsesymmetry: Wow

Wood Daddy <3: OWEN!!!

Color Papi: wanna come over sausage

Color Papi: you get to pet owen and the other llamas and sheep

Wood Daddy <3: YES!!

Color Papi: anyone else wanna say hi to the balls of fluff that is my barn animals

The Great Witch: can i say hi to owen as well

Color Papi: yes :]

Color Papi: just head to my place if you wanna meet the llamas and sheep

Color Papi: my parents won't mind (i think)

Woody: I might just stop by, he does look very adorable

Color Papi: aww, thanks for calling me cute jimmy <33

Woody: BY HE I MEAN OWEN

Color Papi: sure you do <3

Woody: I hate you

Color Papi: love you too <333

Wood Daddy <3: I'M HERE WHERE'S OWEN

Color Papi: wow, you came quick ;)

Woody: …

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 3: a bad idea to apply juice to forehead

Summary:

They just want some apple juice guys

oh and also a slight bit of vfh (venus flytrap husbands)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

little goblin man: hey guys look at this

 

little goblin man sent an attachment - batman.jpeg ("even batman listens to his mom")

 

Tall handsome sexy man: if i had a dollar for every pixel in this image i'd have 15 cents

little goblin man: if i had a dollar for every ounce of rage i felt in my body after reading that text id have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Bee Queen: Actually I did the math, Joel would have $356, not $0.15

Wood Daddy <3: Since you have $356 can you buy me an apply juice

Tall handsome sexy man: sorry i need that money to fight the toy to the death

Wood Daddy <3: :(

Woody: Apply juice?

Color Papi: apply juice to what

God of the Sea: directly to forehead

Pixlriffs: What a great conversation to listen to at 9 in the morning.

falsesymmetry: Why are you all talking about applying juice to your forehead?

The Great Witch: sausage said he wanted an apple-y juice without the e in the apple

falsesymmetry: Ah

Warrior Princess: Shelby, can you get me an apple juice 🥺

The Great Witch: of course

The Great Witch: i'll meet you at your place with your delicious cold apple juice

Warrior Princess: Thank you :)

Wood Daddy <3: Scott

Color Papi: already got your apple juice

Color Papi: come over here and say hi to owen asw

Wood Daddy <3: ty color papi!!! 🥰🥰 On my way!!

Tall handsome sexy man: thanks for making me feel single two times guys really appreciate it

normal human: don't you have several women in love with you

Tall handsome sexy man: yes but they dont reach my standards

Warrior Princess: Ungrateful much

 

Color Papi sent an attachment - sausageowen.png (Scott smiling in the foreground. In the background is Owen laying on Sausage's lap, who is drinking apple juice)

 

Color Papi: you're missing out jimmy

Color Papi: join us

Woody: Can't, busy

Woody: Also this name is getting tiring hold on

 

Woody changed their name to The Sheriff

 

The Sheriff: There we go

Tall handsome sexy man: eugh

Color Papi: aww :(

Color Papi: thought that you'd be able to come and bring the handcuffs :(

The Sheriff: …

 

The Sheriff left the chat

little goblin man added Jimmy Solidarity to "Best class [E2]"

 

little goblin man: sorry but i dont want you to leave :(

 

little goblin man changed Jimmy Solidarity's name to "The Sheriff"

 

The Sheriff: Ok

Color Papi: why can't you join us :((

The Sheriff: Student rep duties

The Sheriff: The meeting's almost over though

Wood Daddy <3: and then will you join us??

The Sheriff: …

Color Papi: please

Wood Daddy <3: owen says misses you!! also were gonna watch a bunch of movies with owen so i dont think you should miss out on this!!

The Sheriff: Fine, only for Owen

Color Papi: WOO

Color Papi: stay the night? sausage is sleeping over

The Sheriff: fine

Wood Daddy <3: ¡es un buen día para mí y mi papi!

Tall handsome sexy man: thanks for making the whole chat feel single again you three

Tall handsome sexy man: also cant believe you of all people stooped so low to try and sleep with a toy scott

Color Papi: at least he's prettier than you

Tall handsome sexy man: GASP

little goblin man: ok ok calm down now look at this little guy

 

little goblin man sent an attachment - snort.png

 

little goblin man: his name is snort and hes a lore pig

Pixlriffs: You mean a warthog?

little goblin man: no

normal person: i love your little lore pig

Bee Queen: He seems friendly!

little goblin man: he is

God of the Sea: joel it's pretty believable

God of the Sea: he's flirted with every man to exist

little goblin man: not me

Color Papi: no i haven't?

God of the Sea: most men*

Color Papi: there we go

The Sheriff: Scott where are you

Color Papi: where are you??

Color Papi: nvm i see you

Tall handsome sexy man: stop making us feel single

Color Papi: no <3

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 4: a bad idea to fall in love

Summary:

Oh no! Scott finds two guys very cute! Whatever shall he do?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Scott looked down at the two sleeping figures. One of them was huddled up against the orange carpeted llama, a crushed up apple juice box by his side. The other seemed to be holding the blanket close to him as if his life depended on it. The cyanette realised he'd fallen asleep in the barn. And with him was Jimmy and Sausage, both slightly covered in mud.

He pulled out his phone and quickly snapped a picture of the scene in front of him, a smile on his face.

"Cuties."

 

–––––

Private chat between Smallest God (Joel) and colour guy

 

Smallest God (Joel): went to sausages to drop off hermes and he hasnt come back yet

Smallest God (Joel): scott what did you do

colour guy: he got attached to owen

colour guy: like actually he's currently asleep and hugging owen like he'll disappear if sausage was to let go

Smallest God (Joel): oh

Smallest God (Joel): ig thats alright then

colour guy: i'll tell him that hermes is at your place once he wakes up

Smallest God (Joel): thank you

–––––

 

Scott glanced back at the two, noticing that Jimmy had started to stir. He shifted a little before slowly opening his eyes as he sat up.

"Scott?" He asked drowsily, after figuring out where in the world he was.

The cyanette found a smile returning to his face. "Good morning, Sheriff."

 

"Are we still in the barn?"

 

He nodded, watching as the blonde stretched a bit before standing up. Scott looked over at Sausage to see Owen nudging him ever so slightly, which seemed to be an attempt to wake him up. Jimmy ended up watching Owen attempt to wake up the avian alongside Scott.

 

Until the llama straight up spat on him.

 

Sausage sputtered, immediately shooting up as his eyes went wide.

"What just happened?!" He exclaimed in a slight panic before hearing the snickers and laughter coming from the other two people in the area.

He didn't get an answer other than laughter and Scott pointing at the llama that sat next to the brunette, which said llama was pretending as if he didn't do anything.

Sausage huffed, "Owen! Did you just spit on me?"

He was greeted with silence and an innocent look from the llama in question, ignoring the laughter from the two in the background.

"Alright, alright," Scott chuckled, grabbing the two's attention, "I'm sure my father's prepared breakfast for us, and he's probably concerned as well. Let's go."

 

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

Wood Daddy <3: not a very great start to the morning

Wood Daddy <3: but anyways good morning you beautiful people!!!

Tall handsome sexy man: morning ugly fucks

Pixlriffs: Two kinds of people.

The Greatest Witch: what happened sausage?

Wood Daddy <3: owen spat on my face >:(

Wood Daddy <3: scott and jimmy just laughed at me >:((

Color Papi: well it was kinda funny

Color Papi: funny but also pretty cute

Color Papi deleted a message

 

Wood Daddy <3: i cannot beleive you

 

Wood Daddy <3 changed Color Papi's name to "Sausage Hater"

 

Sausage Hater: GASP

Sausage Hater: wood daddy </3

Wood Daddy <3: dont call me that anymore!!!

Tall handsome sexy man: finally

Tall handsome sexy man: one less couple in the class

Bee Queen: Sausage, I before E except after C.

Wood Daddy <3: belceive

Bee Queen: Sausage

The Sheriff: hi guys

Tall handsome sexy man: no capitals for jimmy/!??!

The Sheriff: it's scott here

The Sheriff: jimmy's currently wrestling with one of the stubborn sheep

The Sheriff: what should i change his name to

The Sheriff: wait

 

The Sheriff changed their name to "I LOVE SCOTT"

 

I LOVE SCOTT: ITS SAUSAGE

I LOVE SCOTT: SCOTTS TRYING TO KILL ME

I LOVE SCOTT: SEND EHFL

 

I LOVE SCOTT changed their name to "toy boy"

 

toy boy: there we go

Warrior Princess: Is Sausage okay??

The Great Witch: :anxious_face_with_sweat:

toy boy: he's ok, he just tripped and fell onto the couch

God of the Sea: What's happening??

Pixlriffs: I think Scott might be trying to tell us something.

Sausage Hater: wdym

Pixlriffs: Something between you, Jimmy, potentially Sausage as well.

Sausage Hater: not really

 

Sausage Hater changed his name to Llama Boy

 

Llama Boy: i wish tho

falsesymmetry: Are they actually in a relationship or…

Warrior Princess: No, Scott's just like that

Bee Queen: All the time.

Pixlriffs: Yep.

falsesymmetry: Ah

Tall handsome sexy man: do you just sand back and watch the class burn???

normal human: sand back

Tall handsome sexy man: shut

normal human: sand back

normal human: but do you

falsesymmetry: Is it bad if I do

little goblin man: not necessarily

little goblin man: i mean

little goblin man: theres always that one person in the chat who just watches the chaos from the distance with their popcorn whether they like it or not

falsesymmetry: And that person is me

little goblin man: yes

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 5: a bad idea to eat the earth

Chapter Text

little goblin man: hey guys guess what

 

little goblin man sent an attachment - earthsandwich.png ( a picture of fwhip with a piece of bread on the floor behind him. another image next to him is at night and has a random person with a piece of bread on the floor behind him as well )

 

little goblin man: eart sandwich

little goblin man: earth

Bee Queen: How did you get this?

little goblin man: met a guy on omegle

Bee Queen: Ah.

Wood Daddy <3: ooo!!

Wood Daddy <3: how does it taste??

little goblin man: what

Sausage Hater: wood daddy?? are you ok??

Wood Daddy <3: yeah!! why do you think i'm not?

Sausage Hater: bae @The Sheriff i think our boyfriend lost it

Sausage Hater: he wants to know what an earth sandwich tastes like

God of the Sea: BOYFRIEND???

God of the Sea: So you and sausage ARE dating

The Great Witch: but scott was also said 'bae' to jimmy

The Great Witch: meaning that scott and jimmy are dating

Warrior Princess: Yes, but no

Warrior Princess: The three are dating because Scott said 'our boyfriend' to Jimmy about Sausage

Tall handsome sexy man: is magic daddy ok??

Wood Daddy <3: dw thunder daddy! im doing alright

Wood Daddy <3: i dont know why so many people are worried

Bee Queen: …

falsesymmetry: Can someone update me about the relationships in this class

Bee Queen: I'd like to but as you can see, we're all completely confused.

little goblin man: lizzie and joel seem suspiciously close, joel and sausage have a kid, sausage and scott probably have a 'thing' going on with eachother, scott flirts with jimmy often, and jimmy is my leader

Sausage Hater: also katherine and shelby are suspiciously close as well

Sausage Hater: if yk what i mean 😏

 

Sausage Hater changed their name to "Sausage Lover"

 

Wood Daddy <3: <33

falsesymmetry: What happened to your break up from last time?

Sausage Lover: what break up

The Sheriff: Back to the Earth Sandwhich

The Sheriff: What *does* it taste like?

little goblin man: OH NO NOT MY LEADER

Tall handsome sexy man: jimmy its SANDWICH not SANDWHICH you dumb toy

Bee Queen: The Earth Sandwich does look interesting.

Pixlriffs: I wholeheartedly agree.

Warrior Princess: Well, if Gem and Pix say it's okay…

Warrior Princess: Can I take a bite out of the sandwich of earth?

God of the Sea: Seems delish

falsesymmetry: de lice

falsesymmetry: It's probably crunchy though

The Great Witch: scott

Sausage Lover: shelby

Sausage Lover: we're the last ones standing

The Great Witch: i'm sorry scott

The Great Witch: but the earth sandwich just seems too interesting not to try and taste

Sausage Lover: sHELBY

The Great Witch: I'M SORRY SCOTT

Wood Daddy <3: ONE OF US!!!

little goblin man: i have to agree with shelby

 

Sausage Lover left the chat

little goblin man added Scott to "Best class [E2]"

 

Scott: FUCK 

little goblin man: cry

Chapter 6: a bad idea to interact with the dead

Summary:

"OOO!"
"BOO!"

AAAA

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Private chat between Scott (Wingman) and Katherine

 

Scott: katherine are you doing ok

Katherine: Yeah, why?

Scott: you're staring

Katherine: Staring?

Scott: at shelby, you're staring at shelby a lot

Katherine: No, I'm not

Scott: mhm, sure, totally believe you

––––––

Best class [E2]

 

The Great Witch: HELP

The Great Witch: HELP PLEASE

Wood Daddy <3: WHAT'S WRONG SHELBY??!?

The Great Witch: I THINK THERE'S A GHOST IN MY HOME

Wood Daddy <3: OH NO!!

falsesymmetry: A bad one?

The Great Witch: I DON'T KNOW BUT I DON'T WANT TO FIND OUT

normal human: WHY IS EVERYONE SCREAMING

falsesymmetry: 🧍

God of the Sea: Read the conversation, lazy cat

normal human: im a huMAN

God of the Sea: lazy cat lady*

normal human: good

normal human: I THOUGHT YOU'D KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF GHOSTS AS A WITCH

The Great Witch: I NEVER LEARNED HOW

Pixlriffs: Try looking out for signs that could show what the spirit could be connected to. Once you're sure, burn the item and bring it out.

Pixlriffs: Make sure that first, it isn't any normal thing happening like a malfunction or an animal or anything like that.

Pixlriffs: If there are still continuing activities after both things are done, call someone to help.

The Great Witch: how do you know this

Pixlriffs: I have my ways.

falsesymmetry: That's a bit ominous

God of the Sea: Anyways, I am here to announce that I have a girlfriend now!!

Sausage Lover: i can help with the weird spirits shelby

God of the Sea: Not right now, Scott, what I have to say is more important

The Great Witch: THANK YOU SCOTT

Sausage Lover: L joey

Tall handsome sexy man: cant believe you managed to get a girlfriend you dumb pirate

Tall handsome sexy man: whos the poor soul

God of the Sea: My beloved pirate princess, Katherine!!

Warrior Princess: what

The Great Witch: WHAT

Sausage Lover: 🍿🤏

falsesymmetry: Wait what's wrong?

Wood Daddy <3: scott give me some of that popcorn!!!

–––––

Private chat between Goblin (fWhip) and False

 

Goblin (fWhip): Shelby likes Katherine but it seems that Joey's dating her now?

False: Oh

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

little goblin man: butter give me some too

Sausage Lover: just for that pun, no

Wood Daddy <3: what about me??

Sausage Lover: you can eat whatever's mine, wood daddy <3

The Sheriff: Ignoring that, Joey's dating Katherine?

Bee Queen: Apparently.

The Sheriff: I thought that Katherine was dating someone else

Tall handsome sexy man: poor katherine

Tall handsome sexy man: i prefer shelby and katherine sorry joey

Warrior Princess: Guys, stop freaking out about it

Warrior Princess: He's joking

Sausage Lover: he probably isn't, knowing him

normal human: this is quite interesting and chaotic

normal human: katherine why are you dating the pirate

Warrior Princess: I'M NOT

God of the Sea: They already know my love, I'm sorry

–––––

Wood Daddy <3: help

Wood Daddy <3: i found a grave with my name on it and i'm really concerned

normal human: it says wood daddy?

Wood Daddy <3: it says "RIP Sausage"

Pixlriffs: It could just be the fake grave I made you for that one thing

Wood Daddy <3: it's in the yard of that one abandoned house and im pretty sure its real

Wood Daddy <3: also that wasnt there before

Sausage Lover: oh no, my poor boyfriend

Sausage Lover: he died such a tragic death

Sausage Lover: i'll miss him so much

Wood Daddy <3: IM NOT DEAD!!!

Sausage Lover: sometimes i can still hear his voice

 

Wood Daddy <3 changed Sausage Lover's name to "Divorcee"

Wood Daddy <3 changed their name to "Wood man"

 

Wood man: HMPH

Divorcee: SAUSAGE NO I'M SORRY

Tall handsome sexy man: this is the second time this week and its only tuesday

Divorcee: going dark :pensive:

The Great Witch: same here :pensive:

The Great Witch: for my own reasons :pensive: :pensive:

Warrior Princess: Wait what

–––––

 

The letter sat on her desk, feeling like it's staring right at her. Shelby sighed and set her phone down next to the letter. She read through it once more before crumpling it up in frustration, throwing the letter into the trash.

 

"They can't know."

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 7: a bad idea to lock someone up

Summary:

man in "jail" what will he do

Notes:

i can no longer think

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Gem smiled at the male in front of her, guiding him out of her home.

 

This weird theatre or music kid ( she wasn't sure ), Oli as he says, somehow got into her house and started singing randomly after finding a microphone sitting around her TV. He apparently lived in the "haunted" house near Sausage's street.

 

"So that's where I need to go, right?" Oli asked, pointing in one direction. Gem nodded.

 

"Yep! Then just turn left and you'll probably be there. Or right. I'm not too sure."

 

The boy thanked her before stopping by a suspiciously placed flower near the gate. He immediately gets yanked behind said gate, fWhip soon popping out from behind.

 

"You saw nothing."

 

"O-Okay?"

 

–––––

Private chat between LEADER and Deputy #2

 

Deputy #2: hey jimmy

LEADER: Yeah?

Deputy #2: i got the guy who kept stealing things

LEADER: Really?

Deputy #2: ye

LEADER: Where is he then?

Deputy #2: dw hes gonna be stuck in detention for a very long time

LEADER: Didn't really answer my question but alright then

–––––

Best class [E2]

little goblin man: if you hear someone screaming shouting in the empty room just ignore it

little goblin man: youre probably hallucinating

The Sheriff: fWhip, what did you do?

little goblin man: nothing

little goblin man: just letting people know

Bee Queen: I met a very interesting person today.

Bee Queen: A theatre kid.

Bee Queen: Or some sort of music kid. I don't know.

little goblin man: ok

Bee Queen: He broke into my house by accident and started singing.

normal person: how do you break into a house by accident

Bee Queen: I don't know, you'll have to ask him.

Bee Queen: If you can find him.

normal person: thats very ominous

Bee Queen: I don't mean to make it like that. I just meant it like he just disappeared when he left.

The Great Witch: maybe it was a ghost

Bee Queen: …Scott

Divorcee: you called?

Bee Queen: ^

Divorcee: ah

Divorcee: you see

Divorcee: after the previous problem me and my ghost hunter friends require payment depending on how bad it could be

Divorcee: for therapy.

Divorcee: also that just seems like a weird little man that could potentially be a phantom or enderian or something that can go invisible or teleport

Bee Queen: Fair.

–––––

 

Lizzie had been walking through the school corridor when she heard something hitting the door of the supposedly empty room.

 

"LET ME OUT!!"

 

The "human", despite the goblin's earlier words, decided to open the door to see a pretty dishevelled student on the other side.

 

"Oh, thank yo-"

 

Then the door slammed shut. Sure, she felt a bit bad for slamming the door in his face, but that's none of her problem. He was probably in there for a reason.

She also did not want to mess with the student representatives today - or whoever put the guy in there.

 

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

The Great Witch: why is fwhip bringing food to the empty room?

Wood man: is our little goblin friend eating alone?? D:

little goblin man: i just needed to take care of something in there dw guys

little goblin man: im fine

little goblin man: just remember that if you hear screaming or pleading near that room dont worry youre just hallucinating :)

little goblin man: dont tell anyone or im beating the hell out of you

Divorcee: oh no, my ankles, my only weakness

Divorcee: whatever shall i do

little goblin man: shut up scott

The Sheriff: I'm a bit worried about what's going on in that room

The Sheriff: Is there a person you're keeping in there…?

little goblin man: dont worry about it

Tall handsome sexy man: i think there is

little goblin man: DONT WORRY ABOUT IT :)

Bee Queen: fWhip…

The Great Witch: oh no

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

(please give me suggestions for the next chapter)

Chapter 8: a bad idea to let a child on the chat

Summary:

woah!! hermes is here!!!
(slight) scosage ensues!

 

jimmy doesn't like that.

Notes:

thank you to anon for the addition of hermes to this story

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Private chat between Unknown and fWhip

 

Unknown: HIDFUBSDHJ

fWhip: who are you

Unknown: WHO ARE YOU?!?

fWhip: vice rep of e2

Unknown: YOU

Unknown: LET ME OUT OF THE ROOM PLEASE

fWhip: oh wait its you

fWhip: not yet

fWhip: i still have to show my leader

fWhip: and then hell make my judgement

Unknown: PLEASE

 

Mute this chat?

Yes             No

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

Wood man: ¡hola!!!

Wood man: ¿cómo te llamas?

Tall handsome sexy man: sausage we dont speak sausage language

falsesymmetry: What's Sausage language?

little goblin man: whatever the wood man is saying

falsesymmetry: So Spanish

Wood man: sí

Wood man: ¿quién es?

falsesymmetry: If Google translate is right he's asking what our names are, who we are

Tall handsome sexy man: i cant believe you dont know who i, joel the handsomest and strongest man, am

Wood man: thunder papi!!

Tall handsome sexy man: oh wait hermes??

Wood man: ya!! :D

Tall handsome sexy man: hello son!! what are you doing here

Wood man: magic ddady let me meet his friends!!

The Great Witch: backtrack a sec

The Great Witch: YOU HAVE A SON??

Tall handsome sexy man: yeah we found him all lost and alone a few years ago so we took him in

Tall handsome sexy man: one of us plan to legally adopt him when were old enough

Warrior Princess: I bet that Hermes (right?) is a lovely kid :)

Tall handsome sexy man: he is

Wood man: im very cool!! just like my dads!!

Wood man: thunder daddy why is magic papi smiling so much at his bracelet

Tall handsome sexy man: what bracelet

Wood man: the coloruful one

The Sheriff: Didn't Scott give that to him?

Wood man: whos scott?

Wood man: who are you?

Tall handsome sexy man: this is the toy sheriff ive been telling you about

The Sheriff: I'm Jimmy, the class president / sheriff

The Sheriff: NO I'M NOT JOEL

Wood man: YOURE REAL?? :OO

The Sheriff: .

The Sheriff: Yes.

Wood man: ur bvery cool!!! im very happy to meet yuo!!

The Sheriff: It's nice to meet you too

The Sheriff: Hermes, right?

Wood man: ya :D

Wood man: also whos scot

Tall handsome sexy man: jimmys boyfriend

The Sheriff: No, he's not

Divorcee: not yet ;)

Warrior Princess: Not in front of the child, Scott

God of the Sea: I mean, it's very entertaining, but I must agree with Katherine

God of the Sea: When were you here anyways

Divorcee: i'm always here

God of the Sea: That's very ominous and I don't like that

Tall handsome sexy man: also hermes your other father is probably smiling at the bracelet because scott gave it to him

Wood man: ohh

Wood man: what?

Pixlriffs: Are you implying that Sausage likes the bracelet because he likes Scott?

Tall handsome sexy man: yes

Divorcee: ofc he does

Wood man: so you guys are best fruiends??

Divorcee: more than that

Wood man: BESTEST FRIENDS/??

Divorcee: yeah sure

Wood man: hello!!

Wood man: its sausage!!

Wood man: how was hermes?

Tall handsome sexy man: he managed to get jimmy to say he was a toy LMAI

Warrior Princess: Laugh my ass in

Wood man: oh wait

Wood man: i was smiling at the bracelet because hes pretty

Wood man: ITS PRETTY**

Divorcee: awww you think i'm pretty ;)

Wood man: NO

Wood man: Maybe

Wood man: …yes

Divorcee: <3

–––––

 

Jimmy set down his phone, screen side down.

He felt a pang of some familiar feeling in his chest when he read those messages. It wasn't a very nice one. He knew what Scott was like, he knew this is how he probably acted around everyone else.

 

And yet he still hated whenever the cyanette and the avian interacted.

 

At first he thought it was because of discomfort, of how awkward it was to listen to the two flirt with each other. But it turned out to be jealousy.

The blonde ignored his phone, buzzing from the notifications that were most likely from Scott and Sausage messing around with each other, and went on to pet Norman who'd sat on his lap sometime during that whole conversation.

"Hey buddy," He spoke to no one, yet acting as if he was starting a conversation with the sleeping cat on his lap, "Is it bad that I don't want him around?"

"I mean, Sausage is great, he's nice, pretty funny sometimes, respects me to an extent," He let out a breath, taking a glance at the colourful bracelet that sat on his shelf, "But I just…  I guess I'm just a bit jealous that he has the courage to interact with Scott like that."

He closed his eyes and sighed, ignoring the way Norman put a paw on his face in an almost comforting way.

 

"He probably likes Sausage better than me anyways."

Notes:

how are you guys feeling :)

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 9: a bad idea to let the music kid on

Summary:

you've got a friend in me

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Private chat between LEADER and Deputy #2

 

Deputy #2: come to the empty room

Deputy #2: quick

LEADER: Okay

–––––

Jimmy stared down at the goblin, waiting for Fwhip to tell him why he's here.

"So, remember that guy who's been stealing stuff?"

He nodded, unsure of where this is going. Soon enough, Fwhip opened the door of the room to reveal that there was a student inside. He was playing an upbeat tune on a keyboard with a very sad expression until he noticed that the two were standing there at the front.

"Are you gonna finally let me out?!" He exclaimed, mood seeming to instantly flip.

Fwhip shook his head, "Tell me why you think you're here."

"I don't know! I'm just a mere music kid who roams the halls of this school!"

"Sing us a song then." Jimmy cut in, crossing his arms.

The student nodded, beginning to play a tune on the keyboard as the two waited.

 

"You've got a friend in m-"

 

Jimmy immediately shut the door in his face, ignoring the pleads and wails from inside the room.

 

"We should probably discuss this," Fwhip said, wincing after the student screamed. "He did disrespect you, but I don't think having a screaming kid in the room is a very good idea."

The blonde nodded. "I guess we'll let him go for now?"

"Yeah."

 

The shorter opened the door and let the music kid know he was good to go. He let out a cheer and ran off in some random direction.

 

"Well, that's that," Fwhip said, looking back up at Jimmy.

"Fwhip, I think he's from our class."

 

"What."

–––––

Best class [E2]

little goblin man added Weird Music Kid

 

little goblin man: welcome this weird kid to the chat

little goblin man: apparently hes part of our class so

little goblin man: introduce yourself

Weird Music Kid: huh

Weird Music Kid: oh

Weird Music Kid: im oli,the great warrior who beat drakon in his first fight with them >:)

Wood man: ooo :O

Weird Music Kid: i have no idea who any of you are

Weird Music Kid: i mean i do but i dont know whos who

little goblin man: i am fwhip

Wood man: tis the great mythical j sausage here!! :)

Bee Queen: Oh, hello Oli!

Bee Queen: It's Gem by the way.

Weird Music Kid: ITS YOU

Weird Music Kid: GEM

The Sheriff: So your name is Oli

Weird Music Kid: youre kimmy

Weird Music Kid: jimmy*

Tall handsome sexy man: kimmy? kim kardashian?

The Sheriff: Joel, no, and yes, I am Jimmy

Pixlriffs: I'm Pix, as the name says, "Warrior Princess" is Katherine, "The Great Witch" is Shelby, "Divorcee" is Scott, "God of the Sea" is Joey, and falsesymmetry is False.

Weird Music Kid: thank yoiu sir pixlriffs

–––––

Weird Music Kid: AA

Weird Music Kid: EHELP

Weird Music Kid: IM BEIGNL ATACKTED

Weird Music Kid: HTERSM A PIRATE

Weird Music Kid: AHJSDBDFSNM

Wood man: oh no!!

Wood man: where are you??

Weird Music Kid: IN FRONT OFT IS WEIRD GRASS HOSUIE

Wood man: oh thats my house!!!

Wood man: im coming!!!

Divorcee: you're coming right now? ;)

The Sheriff: SCOTT

Divorcee: no but is he ok

Wood man: he looks like he went through a tornado!!

Divorcee: oh no

Wood man: @Warrior Princess i need your fashion help as well!!

The Great Witch: is his clothes all torn up?!?

Wood man: no, i just think he could go with nicer clothes

Wood man: its the fall season!! hes wearing a hawaiian looking shirt!!! thats summer clothes!!!!!

Warrior Princess: That's fair

Warrior Princess: I'm on my way

–––––

God of the Sea: Who is that "Weird Music Kid"

Weird Music Kid: im oli

God of the Sea: I'm Joey, the God of the Sea and greatest pirate of all time

Weird Music Kid: .did you fight anyone wearing a hawaian-ish shirt

God of the Sea: Yes, I did, why?

Weird Music Kid: oh god

Weird Music Kid: MY PRINCE

Weird Music Kid: SAUSAGE HELP

Wood man: i left you alone for 5 minutes what happened!!

Weird Music Kid: THIS MAN WAS THE ONE WHO ATTACKED ME

God of the Sea: Wait

God of the Sea: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS WITH SKELETRON

Weird Music Kid: HWOS SKELETRON>?>!?!

God of the Sea: You don't know who he is? My rival?

Wood man: i dont think he knows who that is

God of the Sea: I was mistaken then.

God of the Sea: Oops

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 10: a bad idea to bond over crushes

Summary:

imagine having love problems

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Private chat between Witch Shelby and Sausage

 

Sausage: shelbyy!!

Witch Shelby: yeah?

Sausage: im in lovee!!!

Witch Shelby: did you see a small and cute animal in your house again?

Sausage: no, not this time!!

Witch Shelby: is it an animal?

Sausage: no!!!

Witch Shelby: is it scott

Sausage: hes just too pretty!!! it should be illegal!!!!!

Sausage: wait was it that obvious

Witch Shelby: hermes told us you were smiling at the bracelet scott got you

Witch Shelby: and then you called him pretty

Witch Shelby: at least i'm not as obvious as you are with your crush

Sausage: shelby i think the whole class knows you like katherine except for katherine herself

Witch Shelby: wait what

Sausage: you look at her a lot during class

Witch Shelby: oh

Witch Shelby: well it won't matter since she and joey are dating anyway

Sausage: i dont think so actually!!

Sausage: every time joey mentions it with katherine around she always looks like "eww eughhh!!"

Sausage: i dont think she likes him

Sausage: you have a chance!!

Witch Shelby: i'll just have to fight joey for her heart

Sausage: be careful!! im pretty sure he knows how to shoot a gun

Witch Shelby: HE HAS A GUN?!

Sausage: yea

Sausage: he has a license or something i dont know

Witch Shelby: well, i have magic

Sausage: yeah!! you can just light him on fire or something

Witch Shelby: that's not really magic

Witch Shelby: that's just arson

Witch Shelby: moving on from that

Witch Shelby: what about you and scott, huh?

Sausage: huh

Witch Shelby: you said you were in love with him

Sausage: oh yeah i did

Sausage: i mean

Sausage: who wouldnt be

Sausage: hes very pretty!! and cute!!! and hes also really nice!!

Sausage: he probably likes jimmy tho

Sausage: or pix

Sausage: those two seem to have a thing going on right now

Witch Shelby: but scott hates pix??

Witch Shelby: and vice versa

Sausage: maybe they dont!!

Witch Shelby: sausage i think you're overthinking this

Sausage: no im not!! in thinking about this a normal amount!!!

Sausage: and scott flirts with every guy!! its hard to tell when its genuine!

Witch Shelby: that's fair

Witch Shelby: wanna meet up at the cafe and rant about scott and katherine

Sausage: i would like that yes

Sausage: and then can i say hi to tortoise?

Witch Shelby: sure :)

Sausage: woo!!

–––––

Lizzie created group "Romancers"

Lizzie added Scott and Katherine Elizabeth

 

Lizzie: help me

Scott: with what

Katherine Elizabeth: I think she needs help with romance, Scott

Katherine Elizabeth: I don't think this chat was called "Romancers" for no reason

Scott: oh wait this isn't the best class chat

Katherine Elizabeth: Yeah

 

Katherine Elizabeth changed their name to "Katherine"

 

Katherine: So, first off, who is it

Lizzie: uhm

Lizzie: i didnt think this question would be asked

Scott: imagine it's joel lmao

Lizzie: its joel

Scott: no offense but you have terrible taste

Lizzie: no offense taken

Katherine: I think your best bet is just to support him and be nice to him and stuff

Katherine: We're not the best at this stuff, right Scott

Scott: wdym i'm great at romance

Katherine: You have several failed relationships

Katherine: I don't think that means that you're good at relationships

Lizzie: but you both have two partners each?

Scott: it was a joke

Scott: i'm sad and single and pining

Katherine: I don't like Joey

Katherine: Also who's the other partner?

Lizzie: …dont worry about it

Katherine: Okay?

 

Scott renamed group to "Miserable Romancers"

 

Scott: more accurate

Lizzie: ikr

Katherine: I'm miserable but not in love

Scott: what happened to shelby

 

Scott sent an attachment - witch.png (a picture of a happy shelby with a flower crown)

 

Katherine: Nevermind

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 11: a bad idea to steal for your lover

Summary:

"im lesbian"
"i thought you were a pirate[american]"

starts off with slight nature wives but somehow managed to dissolve into assassin / sheep husbands

Notes:

brain is fried, struggling to write

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Divorcee: i'm missing a bunch of my lilacs

Divorcee: do you guys know what happened

Bee Queen: I don't know, but I don't have as much honeycomb and honey anymore.

little goblin man: MY GOLD

little goblin man: and my redstone

little goblin man: BUT MY GOLD

little goblin man: ITS GONE

Tall handsome sexy man: someone stole half the fucking stratos sphere asw

Tall handsome sexy man: i dont know how it happened but it did

Tall handsome sexy man: @The Sheriff do your job and help us

The Sheriff: It wasn't Oli?

Weird Music Kid: WHY WOULD I STEAL FROM YOU

Weird Music Kid: you all are terrifying

The Sheriff: Joey?

Warrior Princess: JOEY

Warrior Princess: WHAT IS THIS

 

Warrior Princess sent an attachment - why.png (an image of a lot of stuff bundled up on her front doorstep)

 

God of the Sea: It was all for you, my love ❤️

Divorcee: @Wood man this could be us if you hadn't gotten DIVORCED with me 💔

Warrior Princess: JOEY RETURN THIS RIGHT NOW

Warrior Princess: Wait

Warrior Princess: NO DON'T BRING MORE YOU PIRATE

Warrior Princess: JIMMY

The Sheriff: I'm on my way, don't worry Katherine

Warrior Princess: Please bring handcuffs or a leash or something, we need to restrain him

God of the Sea: Wow

God of the Sea: I didn't know you were into this kinda stuff

God of the Sea: And I don't mind if it was polyamorous as well ;)

The Sheriff: I feel that you're worse than Scott

Divorcee: can't believe you're bringing the handcuffs AND a leash for him and not me

Warrior Princess: JOEY NO

The Sheriff: I'm bringing neither of those to him, Scott

God of the Sea: Aww, why not?

The Sheriff: I hate it here

Warrior Princess: Why are you so insistent on trying to date me??

God of the Sea: Because you're the prettiest pirate princess who deserves it <3

Warrior Princess: I'M NOT A PIRATE

God of the Sea: <3333

Warrior Princess: I'M A LESBIAN

God of the Sea: oh

God of the Sea: I'm sorry then

God of the Sea: I'll leave you alone Katherine

Warrior Princess: Thank you

–––––

Private chat between Witch Shelby and Sausage

 

Witch Shelby: I HAVE A CHANCE!!

Sausage: woohoo!! go you!!

Sausage: now go tell katherine you likeher!!

Witch Shelby: no

Sausage: why not?!?

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

Divorcee: let's go lesbian

Warrior Princess: Thanks, Scott.

Divorcee: oh no, a full stop

Divorcee: i'm in trouble

The Great Witch: why don't YOU tell scott you love him?

The Great Witch: oh wait

The Great Witch: OH NO WAIT

Divorcee: What

Warrior Princess: Can't believe Scott's getting bitches

Warrior Princess: Can't believe I just said that

Wood man: SHELBY!!!

Divorcee: Wait what

–––––

Private chat between Witch Shelby and Sausage

 

Witch Shelby: YOU SHOULD HAVE JSUT STAYED SILENT

Witch Shelby: NOW HE KNOWS

Witch Shelby: probably

Witch Shelby: actually no he's not that smart i think

Sausage: thats mean!! >:(

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

God of the Sea: This is getting interesting

God of the Sea: What will Scott say?

falsesymmetry: Maybe the "sheriff" is jealous

God of the Sea: Maybe he is, he hasn't said anything

God of the Sea: You know, I forgot you were here

falsesymmetry: Yeah, I haven't been on much

falsesymmetry: Just watching the chaos from a distance as I munch on my popcorn

Warrior Princess: Scott?

Warrior Princess: I think you killed him, Sausage

Warrior Princess: He's staring into space and he dropped his phone

Divorcee: can confirm, its lizzie and he left his phone unlocked so now i can reveal all his secrets

Warrior Princess: I think all his secrets are on our one group chat

Divorcee: oh wait i found something

Divorcee: actually i dont think i should say anything

Tall handsome sexy man: shame

Tall handsome sexy man: thought i could get some good blackmail on that colourful little man

little goblin man: its interesting and i do want to see it as well but as the vice rep i have to say

little goblin man: please dont blackmail him

Wood man: i was just scolding shelby because that was most likely a secret she was meant to keep!!!

Pixlriffs: It took you quite a while to respond.

Wood man: yea, just got distracted with hermes!!

–––––

Private chat between Witch Shelby and Sausage

 

Witch Shelby: nice save

Witch Shelby: let's hope that hermes isn't actually with joel right now

Sausage: thankfully for me he is!!!

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

Divorcee: ok then

Divorcee: it's scott btw

Divorcee: wait a minute LIZZIE

a normal human: if i dont respond for the rest of the day just know

a normal human: it was all scott's faulthdjsfn

Tall handsome sexy man: @Warrior Princess

Warrior Princess: She's okay, Scott just attacked her with a pillow

The Sheriff: Hey guys!

The Sheriff: What happened, I have like, at least 50 unread messages

Tall handsome sexy man: where tf did you go little man

The Sheriff: One of the newer class representatives was a little confused with the instructions we were given so I had to explain it to them

Tall handsome sexy man: ah

little goblin man: welcome back elader!!!

little goblin man: leader*

Weird Music Kid: elader

little goblin man: when were you even here??

Weird Music Kid: p ht hufdolyl lclyfdolyl hss aol aptl

 

little goblin man changed Weird Music Kid's name to "Demon"

 

Demon: HEY

little goblin man: it fits though

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 12: a bad idea to ask someone out out

Summary:

woah, nature wives!!

Notes:

i noticed some people came for nature wives (which there wasn't much of so far) so i tried to make something a bit more nature wives centric and this is what came out
( i apologise if this is not exactly what those people wanted :( )

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Private chat between Cool Princess and Little Witch

 

Cool Princess: Hi Shelby

Little Witch: hello katherine!

Little Witch: did you need something?

Cool Princess: Yes, I did actually

Cool Princess: Will you date me?

Little Witch: what

 

Little Witch is typing…

–––––

Miserable Romancers

 

Katherine: HELP I MESSED UP

Lizzie: what did you do

Katherine: I was trying to ask Shelby out on a date and instead said "will you date me"

Scott: and you didn't bother correcting it?

Katherine: She said "what" and was still typing, I was too scared to end up seeing her other message so I turned on Do Not Disturb and ran

Scott: ofc you did

Lizzie: well, did she reply?

Katherine: I think so, a little notification symbol popped up on the top of my screen and it's from messages

Scott: check what she said then!! maybe she said yes to dating you

Lizzie: even if she didn't mean to ask her that fast

Scott: yes

Scott: what lizzie said

Katherine: Okay..

–––––

Private chat between Cool Princess and Little Witch

 

Little Witch: well

Little Witch: i wouldn't be opposed to dating you

Little Witch: i do kinda like you that way

Little Witch: katherine?

Cool Princess: I meant to ask you if you'd like to go out on a date with me, but I guess that works too!

Little Witch: oh, i would actually like to go out with you!

Little Witch: maybe if you're free this saturday?

Little Witch: also what does this make us?

Cool Princess: I am in fact free this Saturday :)

Cool Princess: And if you don't mind, maybe we could be girlfriends?

Little Witch: i'll be there at your place at 3pm then!!

Little Witch: and yes :)

Little Witch: now i can flex on sausage because i confessed first

Little Witch: well not really but he doesn't need to know

Cool Princess: Tell me how he responds >:)

Little Witch: will do!! >:]

 

Little Witch changed Cool Princess's name to "Katherine <3"

Katherine <3 changed Little Witch's name to "My Witch <3"

–––––

Miserable Romancers

 

Katherine: SHE SAID YES

Scott: to the date or to dating you?

Katherine: TO BOTH

Lizzie: nice

Scott: wooo!! you go girl

Lizzie: whens your guys date

Katherine: Saturday 3 pm

Scott: this saturday?

Katherine: Yeah :)

Lizzie: thats great

Lizzie: we wont have to listen to you ranting about how you want the date to be sooner or something

Lizzie: also too bad well have to remove you since youre no longer a miserable romancer

Scott: :pensive:

Lizzie: scott this isnt discord

Scott: katherine your girlfriend's corrupted me

Katherine: Keep me here, I want to be able to see Scott's relationship status get either better or worse and it's much easier to see it happen here

Lizzie: alright then

Katherine: Same goes for yours

Lizzie: ok

Lizzie: wait what

–––––

Private chat between Witch Shelby and Sausage

 

Witch Shelby: SAUSAGE!!

Sausage: what happened!!

Witch Shelby: katherine and i are going on a date on saturday

Witch Shelby: also we're dating now

Sausage: congrats!!! never thought this day would come!!!

Witch Shelby: i take slight offense to that, but then that implies that you and scott dating is basically impossible

Sausage: because it is :(

Witch Shelby: wait no that was a joke i'm sorry

Witch Shelby: listen

Witch Shelby: if my akward ass can get a date with the cool warrior princess-type girl in the school, i'm sure your confident self can get a date with scott easily

Sausage: im not sure about that

Witch Shelby: well we'll just have to see about that won't we

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

Warrior Princess: Wait, Shelby where are you taking me to on our date anyways?

God of the Sea: What

Warrior Princess: Joey why are you here

Wood man: so shelby wasnt lying!!

The Great Witch: >:O

Warrior Princess: Wait this isn't our DMs

The Great Witch: it is not

Tall handsome sexy man: so nature wives is canon

a normal human: nature what

Tall handsome sexy man: dw abt it

a normal human: alright then?

The Great Witch: if nature wives is me and katherine then yes

The Great Witch: she is my princess, if anyone disagrees i won't hesitate to light you ablaze

Divorcee: that's arson shelby

Divorcee: also please don't start flirting in the chat

little goblin man: thats homophobic

Divorcee: i'm gay?

Tall handsome sexy man: thats transphobic scott

Divorcee: I'M TRANS??

Pixlriffs: That's rich coming from you, Scott.

falsesymmetry: Mhm

Divorcee: yes but i don't need people reminding me that i'm single as fuck thanks

falsesymmetry: Wait but I thought that you and Sausage…?

Divorcee: nah, it's just a whole bit we put together at some point in our lives that we can't remember but decided to continue anywas

Divorcee: anyways* if any of you make fun of me for that i will murder you

Bee Queen: Going back to the "Nature Wives", as Joel calls it, I'm very happy for you both!

Bee Queen: I do hope your relationship goes as smoothly as one possibly can!

falsesymmetry: ^

Pixlriffs: I'd say the same if Gem hadn't said it first.

The Sheriff: What Gem said C:

The Great Witch: ty

The Great Witch: wait i forgor that katherine asked me a question

Warrior Princess: :(

The Great Witch: i'm sorry!! but where we're going is gonna be a surprise :)

–––––

Private conversation between Rainbow and the witch

 

the witch: SCOTT

Rainbow: yeah yeah

Rainbow: as soon as you said that i knew

Rainbow: there's a very pretty date spot in the local park

Rainbow: there's a bunch of butterflies and very pretty flowers

Rainbow: it also has a little pond with pretty fish and an area to just sit down and relax on the grass

Rainbow: if you don't want to sit on the grass there are benches in the area

Rainbow: there are also pretty lights at night and a good restaurant near the park if you wanna wait till night time

the witch: thanks wingman :thumbsup:

Rainbow: np

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

God of the Sea: So you know where you're taking her?

God of the Sea: If you'd like, I have many ideas that you can take

The Great Witch: i do know but thanks for the offer

God of the Sea: My offer still stands

God of the Sea: This is also available for the rest of you

God of the Sea: Looking at you, Sausage :)

Wood man: wha

God of the Sea: You know what I mean

Wood man: i dont?

God of the Sea: Mhm, keep talking

Demon: i thought shelby and katherine were alreadyu dating

Demon: but congrats either way

Demon: and also why did pix almost look like he was gonna tear someones throat out during our history kahoot

Demon: didnt he win??

little goblin man: i think so

Divorcee: he got second place

Pixlriffs: …Don't worry about it.

little goblin man: .

little goblin man: oh shit

a normal human: he has a bit of a rivalry with a certain man here because they keep rubbing their achievements in his face with a shit eating grin

Tall handsome sexy man: he just dislikes someone in the class during history

Tall handsome sexy man: hey >:(

a normal human: what

Tall handsome sexy man: .nothing

Notes:

i might write about their date on a different chap, so just keep an eye out
( key word: might )

and the whole "pix has a rival" thing is basically the whole historian vs collector/thief thing that was on tumblr (and possibly other places) for those who are curious

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 13: a bad idea to have a dog god

Summary:

bubbles is god real

[+ oli and eddie in the background im sorry]

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Wood man: cajn one of oyu plaes come quick

Wood man: sausafe lockede hmimself in the lbacthroom

God of the Sea: Wait then who's typing

Wood man: itskl bubbyles

Warrior Princess: Who?

Divorcee: wait isn't bubbles his dog

Wood man: yhae

Wood man: its jhared to tympe wihtl pawrs

The Great Witch: how

Tall handsome sexy man: wait bubbles knows english

Wood man: iod get hioem oujtn of tehter ief i coujlf egft a groip woiht thiekse fsuzzy pawesa

The Sheriff: ???

Demon: when did sausage's dog learn to type

Wood man: i awlyaus colud

Demon: are you god

Wood man: i am dlgio

Wood man: i am dogf

Demon: not god

Wood man: dog

Demon: ok

falsesymmetry: I'm confused

Pixlriffs: Sausage seems to have several connections to magic; his child, Joel, Bubbles, and more. Interesting.

Divorcee: why does it sound like you're documenting us

Pixlriffs: I could be, you never know.

Divorcee: make sure you write down that i'm the prettiest and/or most handsome in the class

Tall handsome sexy man: make sure you say that im the handsomest ervery time you mention me

Tall handsome sexy man: ignore scott as much as possible

Divorcee: .

Wood man: IM FREE

Divorcee: i forgot about that

Wood man: lizzie helped me!! :D

a normal human: im the greatest of them all

Wood man: indeed!!

Bee Queen: Looks like I walked to Sausage's for nothing.

Wood man: oh!! come hang out with me and lizzie and bubbles!!

a normal human: also back to you having a dog that can talk and type in english

Wood man: oh

Wood man: she just walked up to me one day and we became good frineds!!

Wood man: frineds*

Wood man: frineds*

Wood man: friends*

Wood man: :D

Tall handsome sexy man: so fruity you cant spell striaght

Tall handsome sexy man: straight* fuck

Divorcee: lmaooo

falsesymmetry: What else can your dog do?

little goblin man: what if she could travel through different dimensions and timelines and talk telepathically with other versions of herself

little goblin man: that would be funny

Wood man: ...

The Sheriff: Don't tell me..

Divorcee: stop using two full stops jimmy it's weird

Wood man: ok i wont tell you,,,

little goblin man: holy shit

The Great Witch: wait WHAT

The Great Witch: SAUSAGE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THIS!!

Wood man: oopsies!!

Warrior Princess: I need to meet Bubbles oh my

Warrior Princess: Also I agree with Scott

Divorcee: as you should

Bee Queen: I'm concerned about your dog, Sausage.

Wood man: dont be!! shes doing just fine :D

Pixlriffs: It's not about her health or anything, it's more about her powers. Why do you have such a powerful dog, Sausage?

Wood man: i dunno

God of the Sea: What does she know

Wood man: im not sure

God of the Sea: Is Bubbles like, a god or something?

Wood man: maybe!!

Demon: woah

Wood man: ill have to ask her later!! shes having a nap right now :)

 

Wood man sent an attachment - bubbles.png ( a picture of a sleeping bubbles on sausage's lap )

 

little goblin man: awww!!

The Great Witch: i love her

–––––

Wood man: OLI

Wood man: WHAT IS THIS >:O

Divorcee: oh no

The Great Witch: oh no is right

Tall handsome sexy man: what did that weird enderian kid do to anger our beloved parrot boy

Demon: what is it sausage

Wood man: i know youre in my house!!!

Demon: youre kickign me out??

Wood man: i didnt mean it like that uh

Wood man: why are you sharing a bed with eddie!!!

Divorcee: WOAH

The Great Witch: WHAT

Tall handsome sexy man: whos eddie again

Bee Queen: excuse me

Demon: it was an accident i sawear

Demon: but hes very comfy

Wood man: OLI >:[

Wood man: THATS MY DAD!!

Demon: lots of fluff

Wood man: of course hes a bunny guy!!

Wood man: wait

Wood man: dont try and change the topic with me!!!

Demon: ok ok im leaving

Demon: im in the living room now

Wood man: good

Wood man: good

Demon: how did you know i was even there???

Demon: youre not even here????/?

Wood man: my senses were tingling

Wood man: and also bubbles

Demon: oh

Tall handsome sexy man: i hope i never have to experience something like that ever again

Bee Queen: Same.

–––––

The Sheriff: Howdy

The Sheriff: I have something to admit

The Sheriff: I am a toy

Tall handsome sexy man: WOAH

Tall handsome sexy man: THE WORLD IS ENDING

The Sheriff: WAIWIAWIAIWAI T NO NO NO ON

The Sheriff: THAT WAS JOEL I SWEAR IT WASN'T ME

little goblin man: i believe you, jim!!

Demon: i dont

little goblin man: wanna go back in the room

Demon: no

little goblin man: then do you believe jimmy or no

Demon: i believe him

little goblin man: good

Divorcee: are you sure you don't have a string i can pull?

The Sheriff: No, no, stop it

Divorcee: but i want to play with you ;)

The Sheriff: ...

The Sheriff: aaAAAAAAAAAAA

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 14: a bad idea to interrogate your classmate

Summary:

where did false come from where did she go where did she come from cotton eye joe

Notes:

tried something false-centric for Wolves_ARESNEAKY13, hope this turned out well and NOT ooc

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

falsesymmetry: This is the most dead the chat has ever been

Demon: wait who are you

falsesymmetry: I'm False Symmetry

Demon: a

Demon: i thought that was just a username

falsesymmetry: You're Oli, I think

Demon: yes

Demon: ive never seen you areound before this class was fromed

falsesymmetry: Oh

falsesymmetry: Well

Tall handsome sexy man: he raises a good point

Warrior Princess: I don't think you'd ever agree to anyone like Oli

Tall handsome sexy man: i know im weirded out by it as well

Tall handsome sexy man: you werent there when i checked our class list

little goblin man: i dont think any of the teachers were familiar with you as well

falsesymmetry: I'm new to this school

God of the Sea: But you would have been on our class list either way

falsesymmetry: I honestly just don't know how I got here

falsesymmetry: Just woke up one day and was told to start going here

The Great Witch: by who??

falsesymmetry: By

falsesymmetry: Uh

falsesymmetry: I can't remember actually

Pixlriffs: I don't think you were even aware of where you were when you first started coming here.

falsesymmetry: ?

Pixlriffs: You walked up to me and said, "Sorry to bother you but where am I?"

Pixlriffs: I told you that you were at Emprista High.

Pixlriffs: And you said, "What's that?"

falsesymmetry: Ah

Divorcee: are you even from here??

falsesymmetry: From…?

The Great Witch: from esempii

falsesymmetry: Oh yeah, I'm from here

falsesymmetry: Just not from this town

falsesymmetry: Or city

Bee Queen: Empirista city! 😊

falsesymmetry: I can't remember exactly where I'm from

falsesymmetry: I just know it's Esempii but not in Empirista

falsesymmetry: It is nice here though, I can't lie

The Sheriff: Are you all just interrogating False?

Tall handsome sexy man: yes

little goblin man: isnt she the most normal out of all of us

The Great Witch: yes but she's also a mystery

Wood man: where did she come from

a normal human: where did she go

Divorcee: where did she come from cotton eyed joe

a normal human: wait

a normal human: im the most normal human here

little goblin man: sure sure yeah ok got it

a normal human: maybe she isnt even a human

falsesymmetry: I'm human, I checked

a normal human: guys whos a normal human with no curses or weird things wrong with them whatsoever

a normal human: i am

falsesymmetry: I don't think I have any curses

Pixlriffs: I'm an ordinary human.

Pixlriffs: But back to the topic at hand, I think the fact that False can't remember where she came from or why she's here is rather concerning.

Pixlriffs: Maybe we should talk to someone about this?

Divorcee: they won't believe us

Divorcee: the adults will probably just laugh it off and say that we should stop playing like we're kids

Divorcee: that's how most people reacted to my curse

The Sheriff: Hm

little goblin man: so were gonna have to figure it out ourselves?

Wood man: ill do my ebst to help you false!!

Wood man: best*

falsesymmetry: Thanks, I guess

falsesymmetry: I'm happy I swear, text just doesn't emit emotion

The Great Witch: :)

Warrior Princess: I think Sausage speaks for all of us

falsesymmetry: Thanks

falsesymmetry: I think you guys may be able to help

falsesymmetry: As weird as you all seem

Tall handsome sexy man: i dont think oli will be able to do anything

Demon: hey D:<

Tall handsome sexy man: cry

falsesymmetry: And of course, it goes back to this

falsesymmetry: /lh

Divorcee: ofc, it's our class

falsesymmetry: The best class

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 15: a bad idea to start asking questions

Summary:

[in joel voice] lore

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Demon: hey why is it e2 and not e1

Tall handsome sexy man: god i cant believe you dont know

Demon: do you know

Tall handsome sexy man: of course i do

Divorcee: answer the question then

Tall handsome sexy man: because lore.

Divorcee: wow, so smart

Tall handsome sexy man: i know right

Bee Queen: I would try and make a joke answer to that question but Pix has already begun typing.

little goblin man: hes been typing for a while

a normal human: hes gonna tell us the fnaf lore omg

Divorcee: oh shit

Wood man: thats a lot of wrods

Wood man: i dont think ill be able to read what hes gonna send us

The Great Witch: pix???

Pixlriffs: What's wrong?

Warrior Princess: Oh

Warrior Princess: We thought you were writing some sort of essay on class E1 and why it's not there

Pixlriffs: Ah.

Pixlriffs: Well, since you were looking for it:

Pixlriffs: The previous class, class E1, had always had disasters come upon the students of the class, the last disasters being the worst of them all. This time around, almost none of them were able to make it out alive or unscathed unlike other times, where it was normally just the elven twins and one or two others who had died and / or gotten harmed. The school believed that it may be a bit cursed so they got rid of having class E1 as a whole. The rest of the E classes have been kept to see if anything would happen.

Divorcee: what the fuck

Warrior Princess: PIX

God of the Sea: I'm not reading that

The Sheriff: How

The Sheriff: How in the world do you know this??

Pixlriffs: I have my ways.

little goblin man: pix is much scarier than we thought

Demon: he literally crushed a can and made it flat like paper???

little goblin: yeah hes strong but to know he knows this much

God of the Sea: It's terrifying

Divorcee: it's hot

God of the Sea: What

Divorcee: i like my men strong and intimidating when needed

God of the Sea: But aren't I strong and intimidating when needed?

Divorcee: i don't think you're as strong as the hot men but ok

Divorcee: not very intimidating either

God of the Sea: Are you saying I'm not hot??

Divorcee: yes

Demon: what are elven twins

Tall handsome sexy man: OLI WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Demon: oopsies

Divorcee: OH SHIT

little goblin man: hes typing again oh no

The Great Witch: why does he type so much???

Pixlriffs: The elven twins are a set of twins that are often elves, as the name would suggest, but have also been blessed ( or cursed ) by becoming the champions of the stag gods Aeor, the one typically seen to be the good god, and Exor, the one who is often seen as the bad. The two are often opposing, such as fire and ice, good and bad, and cannot live without one another. In other words, if one dies, so will the other. They are also often trapped in a cycle, their reincarnations made to kill each other at one point or another, however, many believe that the two most recent twins had managed to break the cycle, however, this is not for certain just yet.

Warrior Princess: This sounds familiar

Bee Queen: Empires Catalogue.

Warrior Princess: Yeah, that!

Warrior Princess: Wait

Pixlriffs: The Empires Catalogue was in fact based on the last class of E1, the students were just put into more of a kingdom type of situation instead.

The Great Witch: the good one had a pair of golden antlers, right

Pixlriffs: He did. They were originally an accessory but soon enough, new antlers that were similar to the golden ones grew on his head.

Wood man: ouch!!

Wood man: it mustven hurt!!

God of the Sea: The Lost Emperor was the best one

Wood man: he was pretty cool!! but i really liked the mythland guy!!

The Sheriff: Is it because you share the same name

Wood man: he also had a dog named bubbles!!!

falsesymmetry: Sorry to interrupt but 1) Why does Pix know all of this? And 2) What's the Empires Catalogue?

Pixlriffs: I have my ways.

Pixlriffs: And for the second question, the Empires Catalogue is a series of books based on the students of E1, but placed in an alternative reality instead. Each book focuses on the same storyline, just a different perspective.

falsesymmetry: Ooh

Divorcee: i have the pretty one's book if you'd like to borrow it

falsesymmetry: The pretty one?

Divorcee: the elven king is the pretty and the best one

Pixlriffs: Each book also has a few illustrations featuring the 'emperor' whose perspective you're reading.

Bee Queen: The books are well written! Also very interesting!

God of the Sea: To be honest with all of you, the Lost Emperor's boyfriend is kinda,,,

Divorcee: joey no

falsesymmetry: What's wrong with him?

Divorcee: a lot of things are wrong with joey

falsesymmetry: I know that

falsesymmetry: I'm talking about the boyfriend

Divorcee: i'd tell you if it wasn't a spoiler

Pixlriffs: I have the whole series. You can borrow it if you'd like.

falsesymmetry: Thanks

Tall handsome sexy man: the lost emperor had a boyfriend?

little goblin man: are you denying their existance

Tall handsome sexy man: yes because he never appeared in the mezalean book and therefore does not exist

little goblin man: smh my head

Notes:

i made a little oneshot on the phasmo crew [same au]!! check it out!! :D

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 16: a bad idea to fight god

Summary:

fighting god in denny's parking lot /j

and going off topic with the empires catalogue

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Demon: have you guys ever triedto fight god

Wood man: why would i?? santa perla is a lovely woman!!!

Demon: not ylu saisauge you dont count

Divorcee: if joel counts then jimmy's attempted to imprison god

Divorcee: he failed miserably

Demon: i tried to fight god to get my friend back

Demon: as you can see i didnt

Demon: insrte3ad i get a bunch lof people hwo i recongise but theydont recognise me!!

falsesymmetry: 🧍♂️

Demon: well except for you false

Tall handsome sexy man: L

Tall handsome sexy man: also yes i am god

Pixlriffs: How do you even manage to initiate combat with a god?

Demon: i have my ways and so do you, riffs of pixl

falsesymmetry: Isn't Santa Perla Spanish for Saint Pearl?

falsesymmetry: Also Pearl is the 'Gilded Goddess' from the books, right?

Wood man: oo!! you started reading??

falsesymmetry: No, I don't know where to start

Divorcee: elven king pov is the best one

Pixlriffs: The Elven King provides a point of view that most people consider the "main character's" view, and the character himself states that as well, calling himself a "main character anime protagonist". Most things have ended up being centered around him, however, there are a few main events that he does not experience. The Ocean Empress also provides those other events.

Pixlriffs: There are also a few spin-off stories that can reveal more backstory

falsesymmetry: I'll read The Elven King first so that Scott doesn't kill me

Divorcee: you won't regret it

God of the Sea: Yes you will

Divorcee: stfu joey

The Sheriff: I have to admit, the Elven King is hot

The Sheriff: NO

The Sheriff: THAT WAS SAUSAGE

The Sheriff: I DON'T THINK THE ELVEN KING IS IN ANY WAY ATTRACTIVE

Tall handsome sexy man: getting very defensive are you jimmy

Tall handsome sexy man: its okay

The Great Witch: oh no

The Great Witch: i didn't think he was an e.k. simp

The Great Witch: but now that i think about it, it makes sense

The Sheriff: NONONONONON

Warrior Princess: The fact that the Elven King looks like Scott 💀

Divorcee: LMAOO

The Sheriff: NONNONNNONONNNON I SWEAR

Divorcee: it's either jimmy thinks e.k. is hot or sausage is just verbalizing his thoughts using jimmy's account

Wood man: whjds no!!

The Great Witch: this makes sense for both of them

Wood man: i dont think anyone is hot!!

The Great Witch: are you sure about that

Wood man: yes!!

a normal human: why is sausage even there

The Sheriff: We were paired up for a Spanish project

Wood man: we have to write dialogue!!

The Sheriff: Yeah

Bee Queen: I haven't read the messages other than Jimmy saying that the Elven King is hot.

Bee Queen: Is this true.

falsesymmetry: Seems so

Tall handsome sexy man: yes

The Sheriff: NO

Pixlriffs: You're getting suspiciously defensive, Jimmy.

The Sheriff: NOT YOU TOO PIX

Pixlriffs: Same goes for you, Sausage. Don't think that I've forgotten about you.

a normal human: out of context that sounds ominous

little goblin man: and terrifying

Wood man: what do you mean

Wood man: ahhahahaha

Warrior Princess: How are you this bad at lying in real life AND on text??

Wood man: shush!!!!

Wood man: shelbys nickname is the same as the wizards!! just witch instead of wizard

The Great Witch: not my fault the wizard's cool

The Great Witch: role model

The Great Witch: i like the flower fairy but only because she looks like Katherine <3

Warrior Princess: <3

God of the Sea: Yall are cute

Demon: when did the piarte start talking in howdy languager

little goblin man: howdy language

little goblin man: wait god is a she

Wood man: yes!! saint pearl is a woman! a super cool one!!

Pixlriffs: There are many gods, especially in Esempii, but Saint Pearl (she/her)  is one of them that roam around here in Emprista. A few others are Exor and Aeor (both he/him) and the Goddess of Death (she/her).

Divorcee: slay

Tall handsome sexy man: isnt it peril

Pixlriffs: What?

Tall handsome sexy man: the god is peril

Warrior Princess: That sounds like Scott saying 'pearl'

Divorcee: that sounds like me saying 'pearl'

Pixlriffs: Definitely Peril. (/s)

a normal human: not the /s tone indicator!! /j

a normal human: cannot believe that pix is using tone indicators now /j/lh

little goblin man: next he drops the punctuation

Pixlriffs: maybe i should

Divorcee: thanks i hate it

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 17: a bad idea to fight the wards

Summary:

scott's cracked everybody
the others, not so much

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Divorcee: i'm cracked

Divorcee: i'm so cracked

falsesymmetry: ?

Divorcee: fwhip got a few of the ward kids to mess with me and a few others

Divorcee: i beat one of the ward kids in a fight easily

Divorcee: did not get hurt

The Sheriff: Lucky

The Sheriff: I needed both Sausage and Katherine's help

The Sheriff: And then Joel went on to help Steve Ward fight me

Bee Queen: I should have called Scott to help me with the Ward kid.

Bee Queen: Also needed Sausage's help. Pix and Joel were there to help as well.

The Sheriff: I can and cannot believe that Joel helped you.

Tall handsome sexy man: it felt like a horror movie and i hated it so much

a normal human: it hurt a lot, do not reccomend, 0/10

Wood man: dolores is such a sweetheart!!!

little goblin man: good to know you enjoyed my present :)

The Sheriff: Fwhip.

little goblin man: yes leader??

The Sheriff: I spoke with Mx. Theatis.

little goblin man: about what

The Sheriff: You're no longer the vice principal of the class.

little goblin man: oh.

Wood man: oh no!! D:

The Great Witch: uh oh

a normal human: fwhip are you okay?? D:

little goblin man: i guess

little goblin man: is this about the kiss

The Sheriff: What

Divorcee: you guys kissed??

The Sheriff: No, it's not about the kiss, it's about the Ward Kids.

little goblin man: makes more sense

Divorcee: was he a good kisser

The Sheriff: I don't know how to judge that

falsesymmetry: How did you even get them to mess with the others

little goblin man: i paid dan to let me borrow the guys for a bit

Pixlriffs: Everyone's going to get you back for this. You know that, don't you?

little goblin man: yea

Pixlriffs: Why did you do it then?

little goblin man: it was funny at first

Tall handsome sexy man: hope you like chicken, fwhip

little goblin man: ??

little goblin man: i dont mind chicken

little goblin man: i prefer pork tho

Wood man: what does it taste like

little goblin man: wait what

falsesymmetry: He's veg

little goblin man: hes vegetable

falsesymmetry: vegetarian

 

little goblin man changed Wood man's name to vegetable

 

vegetable: hey!! D:<

little goblin man: i just realised that lizzies name changed from normal human to a normal human

a normal human: it was always like this wdym

Bee Queen: Not Lizzie trying to gaslight us into thinking she never changed it.

a normal human: uh uh uh UH

a normal human: hey joel are you a dinosaur

Tall handsome sexy man: what

a normal human: because jur ass ics beautiful

Divorcee: not the dino pick up lines

Bee Queen: Don't change the subject

a normal human: ID PUNCH A PTERODACTYL OUT OF THE SKY FOR YOU

Divorcee: THAT'S A PICK UP LINE???

a normal human: SHUT UP SCOTT IM PANICKING

Tall handsome sexy man: im glad you know the truth about my beauty but are you ok

a normal human: i found a suggestive one with archaologists and i think that fits scott and pix

Divorcee: send

Pixlriffs: Lizzie, what have you done?

a normal human: im not sending it to you scott

a normal human: youre already enough of a menace on your own

Divorcee: ugh fiine

little goblin man: that made me feel better

a normal human: good

a normal human: there are more but theyre all suggestive and i dont think its a good idea lending them to scott

little goblin man: good choice

Divorcee: oh fuck you

Divorcee: not literally

Tall handsome sexy man: medamnit scott now were gonna have to make sure we say not literally

falsesymmetry: Medamnit?

Pixlriffs: Goddamnit but coming from a man with a god complex.

falsesymmetry: Ah

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 18: a bad idea to confess your crush to your enemy

Summary:

back to vfh im sorry (not really but also i am)

Notes:

brain hurts and this is what came out

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Tall handsome sexy man: HELP HERLP HELP

Divorcee: no

a normal human: smh my head scott

little goblin man: cant believe you

God of the Sea: Cancelled on Twitter

Tall handsome sexy man: SAUSAUEG IS CHASING ME WITH A SHOE

little goblin man: fight him back with a shoe

Tall handsome sexy man: I CANT HES RIGHT BEHIND ME

Tall handsome sexy man: HELDIOFSFNDK,M

The Great Witch: L

 

Tall handsome sexy man changed their name to "Thunder cheeks"

Thunder cheeks changed Divorcee's name to "Pretty boy"

 

The Sheriff: ?

Thunder cheeks: hi its sausage!!!

Pretty boy: wood daddy <33333

Tall handsome sexy man: hi color papi!!

falsesymmetry: And we're back to this

Warrior Princess: Just kiss already JFC

Pretty boy: what

Thunder cheeks: ?!

The Great Witch: bestie you literally called scott 'pretty boy'

Thunder cheeks: well im sorry for telling the truth!!!

Pretty boy: i'm glad you aren't a truth denier

–––––

Miserable Romancers

 

Scott: he thinks i'm pretty??!?!

Lizzie: yea

 

Lizzie changed Scott's name to "Gay panic"

 

Gay panic: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT??!???!

Katherine: Say Sausage is pretty!!

Lizzie: are you a rare dinosaur fossil? because im an impatient paleontologist, and i wanna date you badly.

Gay panic: I'M NOT SAYING THAT TO HIM

Katherine: Hm

Katherine: Say this

Katherine: Heaven must be missing an angel because you're down here with me

Gay panic: that's much better but like

Gay panic: no

Lizzie: just see how it goes

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

Wood man: im abck to this one :)

Wood man: thunder cheeks got his phone back

Thunder cheeks: why are all of you scary

Thunder cheeks: why did you call scott pretty on my account

Pretty boy: he was just telling the truth smh

Pretty boy: unlike you

Thunder cheeks: you really like scott dont you

Wood man: i just think hes neat!!

Pretty boy: same for you hotstuff

–––––

Private chat between Toy and Smallest God

 

Smallest God: i can see you reading these messages

Smallest God: are you jealous

Toy: Why would I be?

Smallest God: i thought you liked scott

Smallest God: you think youre sneaky with your glances but you really arent

Toy: Why would I tell you though?

Smallest God: because i promise to not tell anyone and if i do you have the right to make me say whatever for however you think i deserve

Smallest God: its honestly tiring to see oyu guys pining for eachother

Toy: Can you even help me with Scott? I doubt you know anything about him

Smallest God: thats true

Smallest God: but

Smallest God: i have lizzie on my side and shes in that one chat with scott

Toy: ..

Toy: Alright, fine, what if I'm jealous

Smallest God: you have competition

Toy: YES, I KNOW

Smallest God: not just sausage but like

Smallest God: there are a bunch of other guys who want him so

–––––

Joel created group "Toy Help"

Joel added Jimmy Solidarity and Lizzie

Joel changed Jimmy Solidarity's name to "Jim"

 

Joel: lizzie

Joel: tell us about scott

Lizzie: he likes cyan and a lot of other colours

Joel: we know that

Joel: tell jimmy things that will help his love life

Lizzie: ah

Jim: I don't need this, guys

Lizzie: one, dont give scott poppies

Lizzie: other flowers are fine, he just doesnt like poppies because of the star-crossed lovers thing

Jim: I did not know that

Lizzie: if you gave him poppies he may not end up liking you

Lizzie: two, give him physical affection and gifts

Lizzie: just make him feel loved

Joel: he doesnt have the confidence to do that

Lizzie: i know but he should at least know

Lizzie: oo! secret admirer stuff

Jim: Fine, I'll do that if it gets you both off of my back

Lizzie: :)

–––––

Best class [E2]

Pretty boy: heaven must be missing two angels because you guys are down here

Warrior Princess: Thank you for using my suggestion

The Great Witch: what a great pick up line

The Great Witch: wait

The Great Witch: katherine that's the one you used on me!! D:

The Great Witch: that was our thing!!

Warrior Princess: It was too good not to reuse :(

Warrior Princess: Forgive me dear :((

The Great Witch: i can't stay mad at you forever <3

Pretty boy: cute

Pretty boy deleted a message

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 19: a bad idea to bring back dodos

Summary:

look at his dodo

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Pixlriffs sent an attachment - dodo.png (A picture of a dodo pecking at a ribbon on the ground)

 

Pixlriffs: Look at my dodo.

Pixlriffs: His name is Winchester.

Wood man: awww!! cutie!!!!

Pretty boy: wtf

Pretty boy: i thought they were extinct

Pixlriffs: And I thought that this class wouldn't be weird and/or unhinged but here we are.

Pretty boy: cute dodo and a cute owner too

Pixlriffs: You're not too bad yourself, Scott.

Pretty boy: ;)

Thunder cheeks: what an ugly bird

Thunder cheeks: im sorry please dont kill me

Bee Queen: I love him!!

a normal human: he seems tired

a normal human: i should take him to check if hes doing ok

Pixlriffs: I know what you're trying to do, and it won't work. I'm not giving you my dodo.

a normal human: aw man

The Sheriff: I was not aware that they could be brought back to life but he seems pretty cool

The Great Witch: ^

Warrior Princess: ^

falsesymmetry: ^^

God of the Sea: Ooo, a dodo

Demon: guys lkook at my new dirp

 

Demon sent an attachment - drip.png (A blurry selfie of Oli in his new drip)

 

Demon: i look silly

Warrior Princess: You look great, what do you mean?

Demon: THATS BECAUSE YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE THIS

Wood man: you look grea!!

Wood man: grawet

Wood man: great

Wood man: :)

Demon: YOUTE ON,Y SAYING THATt

Pretty boy: you look like a werid bard

Demon: I LOOK LIKE A BARD

Demon: SCOTTS HTHE O'NLY ONE WHO GETS IT

Demon: thannk you dcogt

Pretty boy: how did you fuck up my name that badly

Pretty boy: smh my head

Warrior Princess: Shake my head my head?

The Sheriff: That's what it means?

Pixlriffs: Jimmy…

Wood man: guhys i think i have a secret3 admirer!!!

falsesymmetry: Well it could be anyone, a lot of people like you, Sausage

–––––

Toy Help

 

Jim: I ACCIDENTALLY GAVE THE FLOWER TO SAUSAGE

Joel: JIMMY

Lizzie: honestly i expected that

Jim: I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE SCOTT'S LOCKER WAS

Jim: ALL I KNEW WAS THAT IT HAD FLOWER STICKERS ON IT

Joel: he doesnt have flower stickers

Joel: he has a bunch of rainbows and colourful stickers

Jim: Oh

Jim: So it was the one next to Sausage's

Lizzie: JIMMY

Jim: SOERRRY

–––––

Best class

Wood man: well i dont think they like me that much!!

Wood man: anyway pix!!

Pixlriffs: Yes, Sausage?

Wood man: can i come over to meet your lovely dodo/??

Pixlriffs: Of course you can.

Pixlriffs: You can also meet the baby dodos, if you'd like.

Wood man: THERE ARE BABEIS???

 

Pixlriffs sent an attachment - baby.png

 

Wood man: AASAAASSDAJDFNSK

Pretty boy: can't believe he typed 'ass' in his keysmash

The Great Witch: he actually did smh

Thunder cheeks: dodo

a normal human: good to know that you can read

Demon: how do the dodos tsaste

Pixlriffs: …

 

Pixlriffs changed Demon's name to 'Evil Incarnate'

 

Evil Incarnate: HEY

God of the Sea: So true Pixlriffs

Wood man: why would you try eat the dodo??

Thunder cheeks: dan ward jsut saw you talk about eating dodos and went what the fuck

Pretty boy: you're worse than the wards 💀

Evil Incarnate: D:<

Pixlriffs: How do enderians taste?

Evil Incarnate: NO NO NO NO DONT YOU DATE RIFFS OF PIXL

Pretty boy: give me three good reasons as to why i shouldnt date pix

Evil Incarnate DARE****

Pixlriffs: A taste of your own medicine, Oli Orionsound.

Pixlriffs: Wait, Scott, what?

Pretty boy: what

Pixlriffs: Nevermind.

Thunder cheeks: olis an enderian??

Evil Incarnate: ???

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 20: a bad idea to be a disney princess

Summary:

*gasps* (S)HE IS A PRINCESS!

Notes:

for teslapenguini!! i hope this turned out ok!!

and for the request from Wolves_ARESNEAKY13, i'm working on it! just need to figure out a few things since i don't know much about false's character [i dont know if there are any connections to hc, which is something i know nothing about]

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Thunder cheeks: is sausage a disney princess

Thunder cheeks: i mean

Thunder cheeks: he can talk to animals

Pretty boy: that is true, but he doesn't have the disney princess energy

Pretty boy: i know who does though

Pretty boy: OH @Bee Queen ~

Bee Queen: What is it, Scott?

Thunder cheeks: elaborate scoot

Pretty boy: one, don't call me scoot ever again unless you want a ward kid coming for your ass again

Pretty boy: two, gem has the dress

Pretty boy: the pretty pink princess dress

The Great Witch: like aurora!!

Evil Incarnate: which one is aouror a aginw

Warrior Princess: Sleeping Beauty

Wood man: she also has this really cool bear!! his name is apollo and i love him

Bee Queen: It sounds as if Apollo is yours and not mine

Wood man: i wish!!!

Pretty boy: the mighty bear steed

Pretty boy: makes me think of merida

Pretty boy: also i think she talks to bees and butterflies

 

Bee Queen sent an attachment - apollo.png (a picture of apollo. there is a butterfly on his nose.)

 

The Great Witch: aww

Wood man: ASDDSFHDSJBFNM

The Great Witch: calm down sausage

The Great Witch: i thought you saw someone being cute again

Wood man: SHELBY!!!

The Great Witch: oops

Warrior Princess: Shelby

Warrior Princess: My mischievous little witch <3

The Great Witch: lyt <3

The Sheriff: You guys are so cute together

The Great Witch: we know

God of the Sea: Makes me envious for a relationship of my own

Wood man: I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY!!! IM GONNA GO TO YOURS TO MEET APOLLO!!

Bee Queen: Alright, alright

Bee Queen: You can feed him if you'd like

Bee Queen: It's almost time to anyway.

Wood man: WOOOOO

Pretty boy: okay wait

Pretty boy: gem these upcoming questions are for you

Pretty boy: "do you have magic hair?"

Bee Queen: I don't think so?

Pretty boy: magic hands?

Bee Queen: No.

Pretty boy: do animals talk to you?

Bee Queen: Some do?

Bee Queen: At least, the ones I've tried to talk to have spoken back.

Pretty boy: ok, ok, good

Pretty boy: were you poisoned?

Bee Queen: Probably not.

Pretty boy: kidnapped or enslaved?

Evil Incarnate: i have

Bee Queen: No.

little goblin man: shhh nobody asked you oli

Evil Incarnate: HOW RUDE

Pretty boy: do people assume all your problems got solved because a big strong man showed up?

Bee Queen: If Sausage is considered a 'big, strong man', then yes,

Bee Queen: A lot of the students think that just because Sausage helped me with Ren Ward, he constantly takes care of me like I'm his damsel in distress or something! /neg

Bee Queen: I've started to get fed up with it at this point

Bee Queen: Please, Sausage, get a boyfriend so that they no longer assume you're my 'knight in shining armour'.

Thunder cheeks: why not a girlfriend

The Great Witch: just take a look at him

Warrior Princess: Tell me, does he look like he's going to go out with a girl anytime soon? /lh

God of the Sea: Honestly I thought he just had bad taste in men when he started flirting with Scott /hj

Wood man: whjdasb???

Pretty boy: joel, as long as they fit the last question they're a disney princess

Thunder cheeks: oh

Pretty boy: in sausage's case, he is the big strong man

Pretty boy: so it doesn't count

Thunder cheeks: ah

Pretty boy: however, i'm wondering if oli's a princess

Pixlriffs: He's been enslaved / kidnapped in a sense, he has magic hands because he's an Enderian, and his problems were almost solved because of Eddie and Sausage, who both are 'big and strong' men.

Pixlriffs: And because of this, Oli's more of a Disney Princess than Gem, actual princess material, is.

Bee Queen: Well, he did get taken by Fwhip right in front of me.

little goblin man: shhhhhh

The Sheriff: He's also stuck somewhere where he's not supposed to be, which is right here

Evil Incarnate: WHYARE YOU CALLING ME A DISNEYPRINCESS

Evil Incarnate: THIS IS INSULTING

Evil Incarnate: FIRST YOU PUT ME NIN THIS SILLY BARD-LIKE OUTFIT AND NOW YOURE ACLLING ME A PRINCSSE

Pretty boy: well, you fit the criteria

Evil Incarnate: HOW DARE YOJ

Thunder cheeks: L

God of the Sea: Skill issue

falsesymmetry: I just woke up, what's happening

Wood man: but its 5pm??

falsesymmetry: I know, I took a nap at 4:30pm when you were arguing about whether color or colour was correct

Thunder cheeks: why did you feel the need to clarify that

falsesymmetry: Just in case I ended up sleeping through an entire 24 hours

Pixlriffs: …Did this happen?

falsesymmetry: No, but you can never be too safe

falsesymmetry: Congrats to Oli on being the first ever Enderian Disney Princess

Evil Incarnate: THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY INSULTING

Thunder cheeks: cry abt it

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 21: a bad idea to forget

Summary:

you don't remember what she looks like?
[ first part inspired by jack stauber's "library" ]

also nice sleepover times

Notes:

this one's for Wolves_ARESNEAKY13 ^^
hope this is alright!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Behind door number one is… correct!"

 

A door swung open to reveal someone sitting on a chair.

 

"Wait."

 

It swung around, revealing their-

What was supposed to be their face.

 

"You don't remember what they look like?"

 

Laughter erupted from the void that surrounded them.

 

"Just make something up!"

 

It got louder. Their 'face' became more and more unrecognisable.

 

Then she woke up.

 

–––––

Best class [E2]

The Sheriff: That's a really bizarre story you just made up there, Sausage

Wood man: its an actual story!!

falsesymmetry: What's an actual story?

Wood man: afterlife!! its a book series :)

falsesymmetry: I haven't even finished the Empires Catalogue yet

falsesymmetry: @Pixlriffs , is the series real? Apparently some people are denying its existence

Evil Incarnate: AFTERLIFE???

Wood man: see?!!/

Pixlriffs: Afterlife is in fact a series, a fantasy series. It's where people have ten lives. Their species changes every time they die. Similarly to the E.C., there are different books on the same storyline but from different perspectives. Many people believe that Afterlife is connected to the Empires Catalogue, as if Afterlife is, as the name suggests, the emperors' afterlife.

The Sheriff: IT'S REAL??

falsesymmetry: Wait, weren't you guys talking about cheeses earlier?

Pixlriffs: That was a few hours ago. I assume you had a nap again.

falsesymmetry: Oh

falsesymmetry: Just checked the time, you're right

Wood man: had a good nap?:)

falsesymmetry: Not really

Wood man: oh no!! D:

Wood man: wanna talk about it>?

Pixlriffs: I believe both Sausage and I will be here if you need to talk.

falsesymmetry: Thanks

falsesymmetry: Hold on

–––––

falsesymmetry created group "Comfort"

falsesymmetry added Pixlriffs and Sausage

 

Pixlriffs: Nightmare?

falsesymmetry: Mhm

Sausage: oh no!! D:

falsesymmetry: There was someone there, someone that I know, I couldn't remember them

falsesymmetry: I couldnt' remember who they were

falsesymmetry: I tried but i couldnt' they just kept laughing atn me

Sausage: aw D:

Pixlriffs: Would you like for us to come over?

Sausage: i can bring snacks!! confort food!!! bubbles!!

falsesymmetry: I'd like that, only if you're okay if it though

Sausage: of course were okay with it!!!

Pixlriffs: Just one question: Where do you live again?

falsesymmetry: Ah, right

falsesymmetry: Heres my adress

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

The Great Witch: are you alright false??

Warrior Princess: I hope you feel better soon

Pretty boy: you're speaking as it she's sick or something

Pretty boy: but seriously i hope it wasn't anything too bad

Pretty boy: if it was then just remember: we're here for you :]

little goblin man: what scott said

Thunder cheeks: ^ ig

Bee Queen: Don't be afraid to let us know if anything happens ^^

Bee Queen: This also applies to the rest of you

The Sheriff: I hope you're doing okay, False

God of the Sea: What they said

Evil Incarnate: yes what they said

a normal human: ^ /gen

falsesymmetry: Thanks, guys

Wood man: me and pix are at falses!! do any of you wanna hang with us and watch movies with us??

little goblin man: .

little goblin man: sleepover at falses?

The Great Witch: if she's ok with it!

falsesymmetry: I don't mind, nobody's here to stop me from inviting you guys anyway

little goblin man: i call dibs on the bed

falsesymmetry: Are all of you coming over?

The Sheriff: I am

Bee Queen: ^

Warrior Princess: I think all of us might be

falsesymmetry: Thank god Sausage got all those snacks

Pretty boy: how much did he bring

falsesymmetry: A car's worth of snacks

Evil Incarnate: thatsa  lot of snacks

Thunder cheeks: no shit sherlock

Notes:

should i make a chapter for the sleepover?
---
let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 22: a bad idea to have a class sleepover

Summary:

sleepover at falses woo

Notes:

i'm sorry this took quite a while to get out!! i was kinda busy and writing an actual, not-just-700-words chapter is a bit hard

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Thunder cheeks: i just realised how far away her place is from mine

Thunder cheeks: flying takes too much energy

Thunder cheeks: i also have hermes because i cant leave him alone

Thunder cheeks: @Wood man

Wood man: im already here though?

Thunder cheeks: fuck i forgot

Pretty boy: you forgor 💀

a normal human: we can pick you up

a normal human: we're driving by scott's so we can pick you up on the way

Pretty boy: are you going to make me sit next to him

Warrior Princess: No, you can sit in the passenger's seat

Warrior Princess: I doubt Lizzie would mind sitting next to Joel

Thunder cheeks: thank you lizzie and katherine

Pretty boy: thank you for letting me sit away from the man with a horrendous god complex

Warrior Princess: Np

Evil Incarnate: LET ME IN

Evil Incarnate: IM GOING THORUGH TH WINDOW

Pretty boy: please don't tell me that he actually did

falsesymmetry: Oli just broke my window

Pretty boy: i'll get some wooden planks for the window

falsesymmetry: Thanks, Scott

–––––

 

"Thanks again," She sighed, putting away the hammer. "Honestly, Oli, you could have just rung the doorbell instead of yelling and making us think a psychopath was outside my door."

"I didn't know you had a doorbell," Oli huffed.

"I'm pretty sure everyone has a doorbell," Gem cut in. "And if they don't, people just knock."

"We just got here and it's already chaotic as hell," The cyanette chuckled, setting his bag down on the floor. He looked around a bit before sitting down right in between Sausage and Jimmy. "How's the cutest guy in the world doing?"

The two sitting next to him turned red and immediately glanced at each other, trying to figure out who it was directed to.

Pix smiled. "I don't know, how are you doing, Scott?"

"Wow," The other grinned. "Didn't take you as a flatterer, Pix."

"Ooh, this is gonna be fun," Lizzie whispered to Katherine, a mischievous look on both their faces. Both of them noticed how jealous Sausage and Jimmy looked.

"Anyways," False interrupted, clapping her hands together. "What should we do first?"

The group went silent for a bit before Shelby perked up.

"Spin the bottle, b-" She got cut off by the rest, who gave their own forms of protest. "-But, truth or dare edition. Whoever spins the bottle will be the asker or dare giver and whoever it lands on will be the target!"

The 13 teens shuffled around awkwardly for a short while until they were all sat in a circle on the ground, Hermes sitting on the couch behind Joel and Sausage.

"We don't have a bottle- Joey no, don't-"

"We have a bottle," Joey grinned, wiping his mouth with his hand and an empty coke bottle in his other hand.

Pix took the bottle from his hands and placed it in the center of the circle. "Let's not talk about Joey chugging an entire bottle of coke and instead get the game started. Who's starting this?"

"I would like to start!" Lizzie exclaimed, and before anyone could respond, she spun the bottle. "Ah, Joel, truth or dare?"

"Dare," He replied proudly. "I'm not a coward like that toy!"

Lizzie hummed, ignoring Jimmy's offended yell in the background. "Do what Joey did just now. Down a whole coke bottle in one go."

"Challenge accepted."

Joel took a coke bottle lended to him by Pix and started drinking, only to begin choking. Sausage patted his back, stifling a laugh. "Shut up, Sausage."

The elytrian spun the bottle, which stopped and pointed towards Katherine.

"Truth," Katherine stated, cutting Joel off. "I'm not accepting any dares from Joel Smallish Beans."

"Fine," He huffed, leaning over and listening to what Sausage whispered in his ear. "Alright! When are you and Shelby getting married?"

"Sausage!" The witch exclaimed, face going red as the mentioned began to giggle. "I-"

"I don't know," Katherine shrugged, a smile on her face. "Hopefully sometime after uni though!"

"Cuties!" The avian grinned.

This went on for a while; someone spins the bottle, everyone rejects dares from Joel. That is, until Joel spun the bottle and it landed on Jimmy.

"You're gonna respond with truth, hm?" He teased. "Coward!"

"No, I'm not!" Jimmy yelled. "Give me a dare! I'll show you 'coward'."

The elytrian grinned. "Hm, I don't know, maybe kiss Scott?"

Jimmy and Scott both turned red, Scott shooting Lizzie and Katherine a panicked look. The cow hybrid was about to decline and ask for something else, until-

 

The cyanette leaned in, muttering something that Jimmy couldn't pick up before kissing Jimmy.

On the lips.

He soon pulled away from the short-circuiting blonde, brushing his hand through his hair.

 

"There," Scott huffed, going back to his place, not noticing the look Sausage gave the two. "Happy, Joel?"

"Honestly," The brunette grinned. "I didn't specify where. He could've kissed you on the cheek or hand instead."

"You-"

"Okay, okay," False interrupted, setting down a bowl of popcorn. "As interesting as this is, I don't really want my house torn to shreds right now. Is- Is Jimmy okay?"

Joel shrugged, snickering as the blonde stared into space.

"I'll just spin for him until he recovers," Scott sighed, spinning the bottle. "Ah, False?"

"Yeah?" She looked down to see the bottle pointing at her. "Oh. Uh- Truth?"

Scott thought for a bit. "Do you like anyone at the moment?"

False shook her head before spinning the bottle.

 

The game continued as normal.

Or as normal as it could with the class.

 

–––––

 

"Why a horror movie?" Shelby complained, cuddling up next to Katherine on the couch. "I'd prefer Barbie over this!"

"Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad!" Sausage chuckled nervously, sitting down next to the witch. "It'll be fine."

He glanced over at Joel, Katherine, Shelby, and Lizzie, who were all whispering and laughing to each other, and he wondered what the three were talking about. Pix and False sat on the floor as Hermes scuttled over, seemingly asking Pix a few questions. Gem, Oli, and Fwhip were all minding their own business while Joey was stealing their snacks. Then he looked at Jimmy, who had sat down on the arm of the sofa.

 

"Hey, Jimmy?"

The cow hybrid hummed, looking over at Sausage. "What's up?"

"Do you like Scott?" He whispered, sneaking a quick glance at Scott who had sat down next to Pix, False, and Hermes.

"Do you?" Jimmy responded. Sausage nodded. "Well, I think you're in luck."

"How so?" He questioned. "You're the one he seems to like more."

"Maybe you should worry a bit more about Pix than each other."

The voice startled the two, causing Shelby to giggle.

"What?"

"I mean, have you seen the two? They suddenly began flirting despite Pix wanting to murder Scott just a week or two ago!"

"Why don't you team up to woo Scott?" Katherine suggested, wrapping her arms around Shelby.

"That won't work," The boys said simultaneously, faces turning red.

"You'll never know if you don't try~" Lizzie teased, leaning over their shoulder.

"Lizzie!" Scott called out. "Come over here!"

The cat hybrid hopped down from the sofa and scurried over to where Scott was, and in the meantime the two girls continued to tease Jimmy and Sausage about the cyanette.

 

–––––

 

"Hello, Lizzie," Scott grinned, patting the spot next to him as he braided Hermes' hair. Lizzie sat down next to the cyanette, a bit confused. "So as I was saying, Lizzie really likes-"

She immediately put her hands over his mouth, False seeming a bit confused and Pix with a knowing grin on his face. Lizzie hissed at him to keep quiet, causing Scott to begin laughing.

"Does aunty Lizzie like thunder daddy?" Hermes asked, looking up at the cat and cyanette, which only caused Scott to laugh harder and Lizzie to get more flustered.

"Yes, she does!" He giggled, pushing Lizzie's hands away.

"If your father feels the same about your aunt Lizzie, she might become your mom," Pix added, patting Hermes on the head.

Lizzie growled, "Can't we just start the movie already?"

"Ah, right," False fumbled with the remote and turned the TV on, headed to Netflix, and picked the first scary movie she saw: It.

"Ooh, this movie," Scott whispered, shuffling a bit closer to the cow and the bird with Hermes still in his lap. "Hermes, I don't think you wanna be here for this."

"I'm brave!" The little shulk huffed, crossing his arms. "Just like my papas!"

"Really?" Lizzie cut in, seeming unsure. "'Cause currently it looks like Sausage might wet his pants and your hot dad looks eager to leave right now."

"Hot dad?" The four questioned, Scott and Pix grinning along with False and Hermes who seemed confused. Soon Lizzie's face turned red after realisation and instantly started denying anything that Scott tried to say.

Sausage and Jimmy looked at each other in confusion.

Sausage shot a message to Jimmy, giving him a glance that basically said, 'What do you think they're talking about?'

'I think they're talking about Joel and Lizzie.'

'Ooo! I always knew they had something between them!'

"Are you guys talking telepathically or something?" Shelby questioned, looking confused. "I swear, sometimes I wonder if I'm the only witch in this class…"

"Oh hus-" Sausage cut himself off by screaming in fear, seeing a jumpscare, only to calm down when he felt someone patting his head. "Jimmy?"

"Ack! I'm sorry! Instinct to do that when someone gets scared," Jimmy whispered sheepishly, immediately retracting his hand as a blush spread across his face. Sausage chuckled in a similar, awkward tone, reassuring him that it was fine.

"Jeez, I went to this sleepover to have fun and mess with Jimmy but instead I get a constant reminder of how single I am," Joey huffed, startling all of them as he pulled out a blanket out of nowhere and tucked himself in on the couch. "Goodnight."

False began, "It's only fi-"

"GOODNIGHT."

The rest of the group shrugged it off and continued watching the movie, ending up with half of the group holding onto each other as if their lives depended on it.

 

–––––

 

"Shelby?"

She groaned, shoving off whoever was there.

"Shelby, I need your help!"

Shelby reluctantly opened her eyes and looked over her shoulder, seeing Sausage in a sweat. "What's wrong?"

"I've been having visions!" He whispered, grabbing onto her shoulders. "More of them! And they've gotten worse… more realistic, y'know?"

"Oh jeez, uh," She stammered, glancing around the room. The moon was still high in the sky and everyone else was still asleep.

"I was hoping you could maybe try and make something to help?"

"I- I'll try…" Shrugging, she let out a sigh and sat up, opening up her bag and taking out various materials.

"Why…" Sausage began, watching as Shelby whipped up a potion. "Why do you have all of that stuff in your bag?"

Shelby hummed, handing him the potion. "You can never be too safe. Now, drink up!"

Sausage, without hesitation, drank the potion. "I don't feel anything…"

"Well maybe it'll just take a while to take effect?" She suggested, hoping she didn't mess up again.

"Alright then," The avian shrugged, flopping back down on the mattress. "Goodnight, Shelby."

"Night, Sausage."

 

–––––

 

"AH- FALSE!- IT'S ME!"

 

The blonde only stopped when the undead creature had fallen back down on the mattress (and right on top of Scott and Jimmy. Ouch).

"Oh," She mumbled, turning red from embarrassment. "I was uh- hoping that would turn you back."

Gem and Lizzie walked in from the kitchen, Gem taking a sip of her tea before sighing, "He came at you as well?"

"Why is it that as soon as you find out you're a zombie, you try and scare us?" The cat asked. Sausage chuckled, only responding with a 'because it's fun'.

"You're a zombie?" Shelby shot up, startling the others. "Oh, oh no no no… this was not how it was supposed to go…"

"It's fine, Shelby!" Sausage smiled, rolling off of the two boys. "I should probably… hold on."

The avian stood up and ran to the bathroom, leaving the four girls confused. He kneeled down, clasping his hands together.

"Oh, Saint Pearl, please help me find out how to get back to normal."

He stayed like that for a short while, until a note had fallen from the ceiling. It told him to find a totem which could turn him back, located around the 'forbidden' area in his street. He smiled.

"Ah, thank you so much, Pearl! You're the best!" He stood up, pocketing the note, and rushing back to the rest of the group who had yet to wake up.

 

Sausage grabbed his things, gave Scott a pat on the head, and left, saying goodbye to False and the rest of the group.

"Where is he going?" False mumbled.

 

–––––

 

"Katherine!" Shelby whined, face flushed red as the other girl held her close, nuzzling into the witch's hair.

"Aww," Gem cooed, causing Shelby to turn redder from embarrassment as Katherine laughed.

She pecked the brunette on the lips, pulling her closer. "Love you!"

"I-"

Shelby's face felt like it was on fire at this point, Joey rolling his eyes at them.

"Guys, quit making us feel single," He joked, taking a sip of his water. "Y'know, I might just leave."

"Because you've got issues about being single?" Joel questioned, playing with Hermes.

Joey huffed. "No, because I need to go confront Skeletron and make him pay for the sins he has committed."

"Skeletron?" False raised a brow as she folded up the blankets.

"Sulley Skeletron," Pix informs. "They're like a pirate, similar to Joey, and they're also Joey's worst enemy. He's a skeleton, as the name would suggest."

"Ah. Well, feel free to leave," She shrugged, putting away the last blanket. "I mean, Sausage's already left. You guys probably have things to do, anyway."

"Oli definitely has things to do," Fwhip stated, watching as Oli, who was attempting to get to the door, whipped around to face the goblin. "He still owes me. I paid for his lunch for a week, after all."

"Alright, alright! I'm working on it!" The enderian huffed, reaching for the door. "Goodbye, my friends!"

 

The door shut closed. The group continued to talk, until eventually, it was only Pix and False left.

"Thanks for coming over to help out yesterday," She looked up at him, a bit nervous. "I think I really needed this."

He smiled at her whilst gathering his things. "Of course, it's the right thing to help out a friend. Don't be afraid to reach out to any of us, alright?"

False nodded, a small smile forming as Pix stood up straight, backpack on. "I'll see you at school?"

"We'll see you tomorrow, False," He said. "Don't forget to let us know if something happens, alright?"

 

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 23: a bad idea to lend the enemy your phone

Summary:

its joey!
wait thats not joey

[+ a reference to something… lets see if you get it (you probably will) ]

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

God of the Sea: so this is who graceffa is always talking to.

God of the Sea: his terrible, gross class.

Warrior Princess: What

God of the Sea: i don't know why anyone likes you lot, you all are loud, annoying, the list goes on. just like class d1.

Thunder cheeks: how DARE you

Pretty boy: how dare you compare us to d1

Pretty boy: that only applies to joel and oli

Pretty boy: the rest of us are much better

Thunder cheeks: HOW DARE YOU

Evil Incarnate: i dont know who d1 is but

Evil Incarnate: i feel offended

Pixlriffs: Class D1 is a class similar to the 'popular' or most chaotic group of teens back in Drespi, which is somehow several times worse than Emprista.

Evil Incarnate: THIS IS INSULTING

Evil Incarnate: IM NOT THAT NBAD

Bee Queen: Well…

Evil Incarnate: GEM D<

falsesymmetry: So this is Skeletron?

God of the Sea: yes. and you are?

falsesymmetry: False Symmetry

God of the Sea: never heard of him.

falsesymmetry: Her*

God of the Sea: sorry. never heard of her.

little goblin man: wait huh

God of the Sea: i may be evil but i still respect pronouns and all.

God of the Sea: i'm a villain, not a monster, fwhip.

little goblin man: how do you know its me

God of the Sea: i don't know of any other person in your class that is a goblin.

little goblin man: fair enough

The Great Witch: why do you have joey's phone anyway?

God of the Sea: he tried stealing something of mine. so i stole his phone in return.

The Sheriff: Why do you know his password?

God of the Sea: it's very easy to guess.

Thunder cheeks: thats true

Thunder cheeks: i got into his phone several times

The Sheriff: Why??

Thunder cheeks: hes annoying and i need to get him abck somehow

Pretty boy: abck <3

Wood man: scott!!

Pretty boy: yes, sausage

Wood man: <3

Pretty boy: aww <3

God of the Sea: eugh, you both are insufferable.

Thunder cheeks: I KNOW

Thunder cheeks: scott keeps flirting with every man in here except for me and joey and honestly its tiring at this point

God of the Sea: i like you, "thunder cheeks".

Thunder cheeks: its joel, and any enemy of joeys is a friend of mine

God of the Sea: good.

God of the Sea: joey's waking up now, i should go before he finds out i was the one who did this to his phone and catches me.

God of the Sea: goodbye.

God of the Sea: EUGHG That wretched skeleton!!

Thunder cheeks: goodbye friend, hello gross pirate joey

God of the Sea: Don't tell me Joel befriended SKELETRON of all people...

Wood man: ok i wont,,,

God of the Sea: …

God of the Sea: Why in the world would you try and befriend it? He's the worst man.

Thunder cheeks: he hates you, i hate you

Thunder cheeks: same dislikes

falsesymmetry: It said we were as bad as D1 though?

Thunder cheeks: yes but they said they liked me so obviously im better than the rest of you

a normal human: i dreamt of being a rat with a knife

a normal human: jimmy was there

a normal human: scott was there

a normal human: apparently oli was also there

a normal human: it was wild

a normal human: jimmy and i got knives and i tried to shank the cat

Pretty boy: lizzie there wasn't a cat in the rat house

a normal human: WAS IT REAL??

Pretty boy: no i think there was just something in the coke sausage brought

Evil Incarnate: RATRSS

The Sheriff: Hey, I had a similar dream!

Pretty boy: did i get you a blue orchid as a rat

The Sheriff: Yeah! It was really pretty!

Wood man: guys im back to normal!

Wood man: oo wrats!!

Wood man: rats*

The Great Witch: you're human again?

The Great Witch: well, human-parrot

Wood man: yes!! all thanks to santa perla!! :D

The Great Witch: woo!

God of the Sea: A cat became the rat?

a normal human: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM A CAT

a normal human: IM NOT

little goblin man: whyare you screaming

a normal human: im not screaming

a normal human: anyway

God of the Sea: Joel, you will regret being friends with SKELETRON. It'll probably betray you and feed you to his skull dogs.

Pixlriffs: Skull dogs? Skeleton dogs. And eating Joel? Unlikely.

God of the Sea: Doesn't matter, shut.

Pixlriffs: Joey, skeleton dogs can't eat?

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 24: a bad idea to reverse the emperor's new groove

Summary:

the orange llama is here!! (again)

Notes:

sorry if it's been getting a tad bit scott-centric, uh
i don't think i have an excuse for this

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The Great Witch sent an attachment - mwah.png

 

Thunder cheeks: why is scott kissing a llama

The Great Witch: we're trying to turn him into a human!

The Great Witch: i told him to kiss owen because i thought it would be funny

Pretty boy: because you WHAT

The Great Witch: uhhh

The Great Witch: because it worked in the stories

The Great Witch: not because it was funny

The Great Witch: ignore that

Pretty boy: SHELBY

Wood man: why are you trying to turn my boy into a human??

Pretty boy: my boy, actually, not yours, sorry sausage

Pretty boy: also my parents need a bartender so i'm trying to get owen to become one

Wood man: our boy

Wood man: and good luck with that!!

Evil Incarnate: WHERES POKI

Evil Incarnate: EDDIE**

Warrior Princess: How did you get Poki from Eddie?

Wood man: hes at work!!

Evil Incarnate: scott get your lalam friend to make nme a drink and mke its stirbg

Pretty boy: i don't know what stirbg is but i'll do my best

Evil Incarnate: STRONG I MEAN

Pretty boy: anyways i'm gonna go take a nap, i'm done with trying

Wood man: have a nice nap color papi!!

Pretty boy: <333

–––––

Pretty boy: HDJJO

The Sheriff: Are you okay, Scott?

Pretty boy: HDADSDJK

a normal human: is he gay panicking

a normal human: ill get katherine

Warrior Princess: I don't think he's okay

Pretty boy: sorry, that was owen

Wood man: OWEN!!??!

Pretty boy: i'm trying to teach him how to read and write but he won't listen unless i have wheat

Pretty boy: and i can't hold wheat in one hand and teach him to read and write

Pretty boy: i need three hands

The Great Witch: it worked?!

Pretty boy: yes, it did

Pretty boy: i woke up and he was looming over me and watching me sleep

Pretty boy: anyways jimmy i'm heading to yours

Pretty boy: for the thing your mom wanted or something

The Sheriff: Great, see you in a bit

God of the Sea: I wonder what they could be doing

–––––

The Sheriff: I HATE OWEN.

Wood man: WOAH!!

The Great Witch: i cannot believe you

Thunder cheeks: what has owen done to you timmy

Pretty boy: JIMMY-

The Sheriff: HE CALLED ME A TOY AND THEN INSULTED ME.

Pretty boy: JIMMY HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING

The Sheriff: HE WAS SO INCREDIBLY RUDE

Pretty boy: HE'S NEW TO THE HUMAN THING LET HIM GO PLEASE

Warrior Princess: Is Owen okay??

Pretty boy: he said he was bleeding

Wood man: ...

Pixlriffs: What did Jimmy do?

Pretty boy: he hit owen because he said that the plush joel made looks like a mini him

falsesymmetry: I cannot recall who Owen is but Jimmy, I can't believe you would do this

Pretty boy: he's my llama bestie which shelby and i turned human to do a job for my parents

Pretty boy: but now i kinda want to turn him back

The Great Witch: why??

Pixlriffs: It is quite a feat in magic to be able to turn an animal into a human.

Pretty boy: it is unbelievably difficult to teach him how to do human things

Pretty boy: and i would like to keep my relationships with others thanks

The Great Witch: alright, fine, omw scott

Pretty boy: ty shelby

–––––

Pretty boy sent an attachment - llama.png

 

Pretty boy: finally

Pretty boy: he's back to normal

The Sheriff: Thank god

Pretty boy: he still might spit on you jimmy

Pretty boy: but he did watch me go to sleep again

Pixlriffs: You kissed Owen, correct?

Pretty boy: a e well yes

 

Thunder cheeks changed Pretty boy's name to "llama lover"

 

llama lover: could be worse

The Great Witch: good to know the potion worked!!

a normal human: aww i wanted to meet this owen

a normal human: i could have taught him the ways of the humans

llama lover: i don't trust that

Warrior Princess: You're a bit more likely to teach him the ways of crime than the ways of the humans

a normal human: shhhhh

llama lover: he already tried leading my other llamas on a revolt, i think that's enough for him to do

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 25: a bad idea to... what?

Summary:

shit goes crazy and portal stuff happens i guess

oh yeah also the festi- i mean party happened a few days ago but im not writing about that

Notes:

i did not watch all of the videos featuring the hc x esmp crossover nor do i know much about the hermitcraft members
i apologise in advance for any ooc behaviour or lack of fic time for some members

also very sorry about the lack of updates, i was struggling to write the festival chapter and then the rift shit happened so heres this mess

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Evil Incarnate: WOOO WHAT A PARTY

llama lover: i'm still upset that i was charged extra for a LLAMA

The Sheriff: I'm still upset that I was killed over a dumb little kid

llama lover: i love you but you are not allowed to say that

Wood man: WHERE ARE YOU

Wood man: IM KICKING YOU AGAIN

Thunder cheeks: get his ass king

The Sheriff: Oh no

Bee Queen: Are we going to gloss over the "I love you" from Scott to Jimmy?

Warrior Princess: It's normal at this point

Warrior Princess: I'm still upset about the fight that Joey and Shelby had

God of the Sea: I need to make sure she's good enough for you

Warrior Princess: Shut up

God of the Sea: :(

God of the Sea: I also got SCAMMED

God of the Sea: And found out that Scott has a llama kink

llama lover: i don't.

a normal human: i cant believe there was a scam artist there

Pixlriffs: Is everyone going to ignore the fact that the ominous portal spat out a note saying 'New portal who dis'?

The Great Witch: we don't talk about that

Bee Queen: It was odd. I say we ignore it though.

Pixlriffs: ...

little goblin man: you still dont have enough money to pay me back oli

Evil Incarnate: PEARL DAMNIT

 

??? added 13 others to Best class [E2]

 

Wood man: what did you do!!

llama lover: ???? what the fuck

Warrior Princess: HELLO???

The Sheriff: What is happening

llama lover: i thought you died

little goblin man: same

Pearlescentmoon: hello??

TangoTek: We wake up in a new place AND a new chat what

The Sheriff: Wait

The Sheriff: TANGO??

TangoTek: Who are you

The Sheriff: MY RANCHER

TangoTek: No way..

The Sheriff: MY RANCHER BOY...

TangoTek: JIMMY

The Sheriff: AAAAAAAAA

TangoTek: AAAAAAAAAAAAA /pos

llama lover: well.

Thunder cheeks: scotts heart been broke so many times

llama lover: you're right joel

llama lover: </3

iJevin: Hello?

Keralis: jevin and i are stuck somewhere very grassy and hot

iJevin: There's a small dog?

Wood man: thats my house i think!!

Wood man: im on my way!!!

llama lover: i see a woman inside my house this is scary

The Great Witch: isn't that just your mother?

The Great Witch: wait nvm i get what you mean

The Great Witch: there's a blue guy in my backyard

TangoTek: I think thats me

GoodTimeWithScar: THE SHERIFF

GoodTimeWithScar: HELLO THERE

Grian: Hello Tim :)

The Sheriff: No...

The Sheriff: Not him....

Grian: Think you could escape ME

Grian: YOU AREN'T EVEN SAFE IN YOUR OWN CITY, TIMMY

The Sheriff: TANGO HELP

TangoTek: I would if I knew where you were

Wood man: keraliss eyes are very captivating!!

iJevin: He kissed him and tried to kiss me because it was apparently how they greet each other

Wood man: his eyes are pretty :D

Keralis: thank you señor sausage <3

llama lover: ...

Thunder cheeks: LMAOOO SCOTT

 

llama lover left the chat

little goblin man added Scott to Best class [E2]

little goblin man changed Scott's name to "lonely little man"

 

lonely little man: i'm going on my villain arc and you can't stop me

Pearlescentmoon: aww scott

Pearlescentmoon: wait guys

 

Pearlescentmoon sent an attachment - selfie.png (Pearl and a not as happy Scott facing the camera. Pearl is wearing his fedora whilst in her 'S1' outfit.)

 

Pearlescentmoon: look at how great i look

Wood man: SANTA PEARLA???

Pearlescentmoon: whay

 

Pearlescentmoon changed their name to 'Pearl'

 

Pearl: whos santa pearla

Pearl: nvm scott told me

cubfan135: Why did Scott leave

ZombieCleo: Oh hey scott

lonely little man: cleoooo

ZombieCleo: Based on the previous messages

ZombieCleo: I think its because the guys he might be flirting with have other people to kiss or whatever

ImpulseSV: I woke up in a weird place of anthropomorphic animals and the supposed leader handed me milk and it all makes sense now...

JoeHills: were you drugged

ImpulseSV: I'm perfectly normal...

Pearl: soup

 

Bee Queen changed their name to 'Gem'

 

ImpulseSV: Soup

Gem: Soup?

Docm77: Gem why was your name Bee Queen

Gem: Shhh

Pixlriffs: I think I'll have to mute the chat now that you all are here.

Grian: ...

Grian: Impulse

ImpulseSV: Grian

Grian: This week, on Emprista

ImpulseSV: *insert music*

Pixlriffs: No, no.

Grian: Pixl Riffs is happy to see his hosts for the day

 

Pixlriffs left the chat

 

Grian: FJNDKSF

 

little goblin man added Pixlriffs to Best class [E2]

 

Pixlriffs: I've had nightmares about this.

God of the Sea: I have two great pirate servants here to help me out

Xisumavoid: Hey Captain Joe, we got a parrot.

 

Xisumavoid sent an attachment - parrot.png (chicken)

 

God of the Sea: What is this

ZombieCleo: Its a fat parrot

God of the Sea: ...That's a chicken

ZombieCleo: Dont shame him

Xisumavoid: That's rude, Captain Joe.

God of the Sea: Fine, that's good enough

ZombieCleo: Fat parrot :)

little goblin man: wait what happened to sniff??!

a normal human: and gary :(

Grian: Who

little goblin man: he looks like this

 

little goblin man sent two attachments - lore_pig.png (a picture of snort), fox.png (a picture of one of the fox villagers)

 

Grian: Oh

Grian: I was wondering why a pig and a fox suddenly appeared in my basement one day

Falsesymmetry: Well, this is weird

Wood man: i know!!

Wood man: wait false i thought you were on vacay

Falsesymmetry: What?

Falsesymmetry: I don't think I know you

Wood man: ??

Wood man: ohhh nevermind!!

little goblin man: wdym sausage its false

Wood man: no!! our false is falsesymmetry

Wood man: this is Falsesymmetry

little goblin man: ah

little goblin man: oopsie

ImpulseSV: Is there another False?

Wood man: dont worry abt it!!!

Docm77: I love Animalia Street

a normal human: :)

little goblin man: hey did any of you see a warthog near the greatbridge tied up to a post

Docm77: Goodnight

little goblin man: what

 

–––––

[2:50 AM]

 

BdoubleO100 added BdoubleO100 to Best class [E2]

BdoubleO100 changed their name to Bdubs

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 26: a bad idea to let the hermits in

Summary:

hermits go to school involuntarily and more chaos ensues

Notes:

i have no actual explanation for bdubs arriving at 230 in the morning other than i wanted him to ominously appear in the middle of the night because. he just canonically decided to walk into empires to chill despite the broken rift and. yeh.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Gem: Hello?

Bdubs: oh

Bdubs: hey gem!!

Gem: Hey Bdubs!

Bdubs: hi :)

Gem: What's up?

Gem: Why did you join at 2:30 AM?

Bdubs: the sky is whats up

Bdubs: making sure everyone is not awake with the sun away

Bdubs: anyways

Thunder cheeks: GEM I HEARD YOU HAD A SUN GOD?

Thunder cheeks: HOW COULD YOU

Thunder cheeks: YOU KNOW IM THE ONLY GOD HERE

Gem: Uh.

Gem: Where did this come from?

Bdubs: I AM the sun god

Gem: what

Evil Incarnate: i just woke up whats happening

Wood man: three gods???

Evil Incarnate: woah

Thunder cheeks: NO NO

Thunder cheeks: IM THE ONLY ONE

Wood man: all hail sun god bdubs!!

Pearl: isnt it two because joel and bdubs?

Wood man: santa pearla

Pearl: im not

Wood man: i know that!! im talking about actual santa pearla!!

ImpulseSV: You just got here

Bdubs: im god and you cant stop me

Pixlriffs: Shut up or you're all going to be late to school.

Bdubs: god does not go to school

Pixlriffs: I've received a notice from Mx. Theatis talking about how you lot are now in the class until we find a way to send you back to Hermit City. They spoke of 14 individuals, and it lines up with all 14 of you. So get up and out of wherever you're staying and go to Emprista High for now, since I don't think anyone other than Sausage will trust you to stay alone in their houses.

Pixlriffs: And for the record, several people such as Joel S. Beans, as well as two champions of gods, have been forced to go to school.

God of the Sea: I heard that if you don't go then a teacher goes to your house and drags you to school

Pixlriffs: What

God of the Sea: Mx Wards or something I don't know, he looks like the kind of teacher to physically force someone to go to school

Grian: There are Ward kids here???

Pixlriffs: I'm pretty sure the Ward kids and Mx. Wards are two different and unrelated groups, but yes.

Grian: They're everywhere oh my god

GoodTimeWithScar: GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

Grian: Scar

Grian: Scar we still have to go to school

GoodTimeWithScar: WHY

Grian: I don't know but I don't like it

lonely little man: does scar constantly have caps lock on

ImpulseSV: I'm pretty sure his keyboard is broken so it's stuck on caps lock.

–––––

JoeHills: How do you withstand this school every day what

ZombieCleo: History is boring

ZombieCleo: Anyone wanna ditch with me

lonely little man: ooo yes

Pearl: 🙋♀️

JoeHills: What about that Mx Wards guy or smth

JoeHills: Or Mr Sloy

ZombieCleo: We'll be fiine

ZombieCleo: Im pretty sure scotts an escape artist or something he'll find a way

Pearl: if we get caught its his fault

lonely little man: i get my heart broken and suddenly i'm about to be blamed if we get caught??? wow

lonely little man: i can't believe you two

lonely little man: i thought we were the gaslight gatekeep girlboss trio but i guess not

Pearl: scott no wait lets blame it on cleo

ZombieCleo: Why me

Pearl: its either scott for the escape or you for the idea in the first place

ZombieCleo: fine

–––––

Pixlriffs: What happened to my deepslate.

cubfan135: Context please

The Sheriff: Someone seemed to have popped into his house and had taken his bit of emerald deepslate ore he found when he and his family were on a small expodition

Pixlriffs: Expedition*

The Sheriff: He was always looking for that and finaly found enough to make a small fountain like the emerald ore one from last year's tech fair thing but this time for deepslate ore

The Sheriff: Scott?

lonely little man: i didn't know he had emerald deepslate

lonely little man: also pearl, cleo, and I at the mall right now and that is very far away from his house

The Sheriff: Where's False?

falsesymmetry: Hey, sorry for not being here today, was a bit sick

Wood man: which false is this??>?

falsesymmetry: What?

Wood man: there was another false yesterday!!

falsesymmetry: But I don't have any messages from this chat from yesterday…?

Wood man: wait what

falsesymmetry: There's no messages regarding another False from yesterday is what I meant

falsesymmetry: I still got the other messages like Scott getting heartbroken twice and that Bdubs guy joining at midnight

Wood man: oh wait scott got heartbroken twice??!

lonely little man: thrice now </3

Wood man: whos doing this to you?? im gonna fight them!!!

The Great Witch: jimmy was first with tango, then you and keralis, then you again because you didn't notice that he was heartbroken and probably you once again because you didn't notice what was right in front of you

Wood man: oh no!! color papí!!

Wood man: im sorry!!

lonely little man: it's too late now, it's only pix left for me

Keralis: you still have me papito :)

Wood man: yeah, but scott :(((

Keralis: :(

Pixlriffs: Why was I dragged into your weird (/lh) polycule?

lonely little man: i just like super pretty and strong men and you fit the bill pix

Pixlriffs: Explain.

a normal human: what about the sexy man

lonely little man: who?

a normal human: the one who flies around a lot with pretty wings

lonely little man: gem?

Gem: SCOTT

Thunder cheeks: SCOTT

lonely little man: sorry gem i just cant accept the lie of how joel is a sexy man

Gem: It's alright, I meant it in a "Hahaha Scott that's super funny /gen" kinda way anyways.

Evil Incarnate: ive been looking at it for a while and i tnoticed that scars name is actually good time with scar and not good times with scar

Evil Incarnate: are we only allowed to have one good time with scar

Evil Incarnate: are the rest of the times with scar bad ones

Grian: I've asked that question as well, Oli

GoodTimeWithScar: GOODTIMESWITHSCAR IS TOO LONG TO BE ACCEPTED

 

The Sheriff changed GoodTimeWithScar's name to 'hotguy'

hotguy changed their name to 'hOtGuY'

 

hOtGuY: THATS BETTER

Grian: SCAR FIX YOUR KEYBOARD

Grian: TANGO

TangoTek: Alright alright hold on

hOtGuY: tgank you tango

 

The Sheriff changed their name to 'Rancher Jimmy'

Rancher Jimmy changed TangoTek's name to 'Rancher Tango'

 

Rancher Tango: MATCHING!!!

Rancher Jimmy: YEAH!!!

lonely little man: i need emotional support guys please

lonely little man: fuck wrong chat

little goblin man: lmao

Rancher Jimmy: ?

Rancher Tango: Wasn't he your husband in the first Life games

Rancher Jimmy: Yes but that was just a joke

Rancher Jimmy: I think

Rancher Tango: Jimmy...

Grian: Timmy's not the brightest, Tango, don;t forget that

Rancher Jimmy: Shut it Grain

Grian: Grain? Who's this Grain character?

 

hOtGuY changed Grian's name to 'Grain'

 

Grain: Thanks Scar.

hOtGuY: :]

Notes:

hey! i have a question:
should i do romantic ranchers (and therefore making the polycule more complicated with more angst) or just platonic wingman tango

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 27: a bad idea to get the ranchers together

Summary:

a tad bit of rancher duo!!
but theres flower husbands too?? woah

wait thats not flower husbands...

Notes:

SJFHBDSHJF my multishipper ass is just throwing scott around towards different characters and i sincerely apologise but i dont but i do

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Rancher Tango: Hey Jimmy

Rancher Jimmy: ?

Thunder cheeks: wow, no hey joel or hey class or anything so kind of you tango

Rancher Tango: Ikr

Rancher Tango: Jimmy :)

Rancher Jimmy: Ly Tango <3

hOtGuY: /p?

Rancher Tango: Lyt Jimmy (not /p)

lonely little man: i just woke up what's happening

lonely little man: oh

–––––

Miserable Romancers

 

Gay panic: AAAAAAAAAAAA

Katherine: That was very sudden

Katherine: Are you okay Scott?

Gay panic: NO I'M HEARTBROKEN /GEN

Lizzie: OH YOU WERENT KIDDING???

Gay panic: NO I WASN'T

Katherine: Oh no

Lizzie: its ok i think

Lizzie: you still have sausage

Gay panic: keralis

Lizzie: i forgot about that

Lizzie: your love life is more in shambles than mine is

Lizzie: and thats saying something since im in love with joel of all people

Gay panic: i thought i'd at least have a chance with either sausage or jimmy but sausage is off kissing keralis and jimmy's dating tango i'm pretty sure :(

Katherine: I would give you a hug if I could

Gay panic: <3 /p

Katherine: Maybe they could be polyamorous?

Gay panic: highly unlikely

Gay panic: i feel awkward flirting with jimmy now

Gay panic: i don't want to upset him and make him dislike me

Lizzie: :(

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

Thunder cheeks: scott juust got his man stolen

Rancher Tango: ???

Wood man: awww :( im here for you color papi!!

lonely little man: what about keralis

Wood man: well

lonely little man: all i have left is pix

Wood man: color papi!1 D:

Pixlriffs: Scott, do you want to come over? I feel that something's wrong.

lonely little man: that was a joke but ok

Pixlriffs: Well, my offer was not. You can still come over if you'd like.

lonely little man: ty pix omw now

Pixlriffs: I also need to talk to you about the ore.

lonely little man: oop

lonely little man: if i don't start talking about owen at 5pm then be worried for me

Warrior Princess: o7

a normal human: o7

Xisumavoid: Who's Owen?

iJevin: ^^

JoeHills: Im pretty sure thats his llama friend

JoeHills: Scott let me and pearl stay at his house and i met the llamas

The Great Witch: correct :)

Rancher Jimmy: So does anyone mind explaining what Joel meant?

Rancher Tango: ^

Falsesymmetry: I don't understand half of what's happening and even I get what he meant

Wood man: hermit false?

Falsesymmetry: Yes?

Wood man: kjust making sure!!

Thunder cheeks: you both are equally stupid or oblivious

Thunder cheeks: i bet even @Evil Incarnate understood

Evil Incarnate: i did indede

ImpulseSV: Is he okay?

Evil Incarnate: i can tspell

ImpulseSV: Makes sense

hOtGuY: is soctt in love with them or something?

Grain: Even Scar gets it

Rancher Tango: WHAT

Rancher Jimmy: Oh

Rancher Jimmy: Don't worry it's just another one of his bits where he's all flirty with me

Rancher Tango: This happens regularly??

Gem: Yeah

Thunder cheeks: yep

a normal human: he flirts at least once every day

The Great Witch: through both text and real life each

–––––

Miserable Romancers

 

Gay panic: i told pix about my issues with the ranchers

Gay panic: he's a suprisingly great therapist and gives good advice

Gay panic: ..fuck

Katherine: ???

Lizzie: dont tell me

Gay panic: ok i won't

Lizzie: katherine

Lizzie: katherine check the class chat

Katherine: Ok?

Katherine: Oh my god SCOTT

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

lonely little man: how could i not be in love with a strong and pretty man like jimmy

Rancher Jimmy: Ok this isn't as bad as it normally is

lonely little man: but he's also a bit of a pathetic wet cat

Rancher Jimmy: RUDE

lonely little man: that's why i'm with pix now

lonely little man: <33

Warrior Princess: YOU NEVER TOLD US THAT

Warrior Princess: SCOTT

God of the Sea: WHAT??

lonely little man: oops

cubfan135: A few hermits and I would like to know the context

cubfan135: Why are you all panicking about this

Pearl: i think i can pick up a few pieces and put them together

Grain: This is a confusing love triangle
Grain: Square

Grain: Corner

Grain: Whatever the hell this is

ZombieCleo: Good to know you arent hung up on him anymore scott

ZombieCleo: Slay

Rancher Jimmy: Hung up on who?

ZombieCleo: ...

ZombieCleo: Is pix a smart guy

Keralis: ive met him once and he said hes trying to bring back history

Docm77: He brought back dodos

Warrior Princess: According to Scott, he's also a good therapist

ZombieCleo: Im incredibly glad scott went for pix instead

Rancher Jimmy: I would be offended if Pix wasn't intimidating and probably stronger than I am
Rancher Jimmy: Carrying around all of those rocks

Grain: Obsidian distraction then knock him out

Thunder cheeks: i can easily beat him with an obsidian knife and a wooden bat

Grain: Eyyyyy

Thunder cheeks: eyyyyyyyy

Grain: Eyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Thunder cheeks: eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

lonely little man: Is this about that running gag of how historians / archaeologists / geologists can only see artefacts, rocks, and minerals?

Evil Incarnate: WAHT THE FHKELLC

little goblin man: WHEN DID YOU START USING PROPER GRAMMAR

The Great Witch: WHAT ABOUT THE AESTHETIC???

lonely little man: The last time I didn't use proper grammar you guys screamed in fear.

hOtGuY: i dont see the problem here

Gem: ??

lonely little man: Oh, I see the problem now.

lonely little man: This isn't my phone.

little goblin man: .

little goblin man: pix??

lonely little man: Hello, Fwhip.

lonely little man: What's making you all talk about me?

Gem: Scott said something

lonely little man: Hold on.

Gem: Ok

Rancher Tango: Jim and I are still confused

Rancher Jimmy: Yeah

Thunder cheeks: oh my ME

Bdubs: excuse you IM god

Bdubs: you should be saying oh my bdubs

Wood man: what about oh my pearl!!

Bdubs: not right now disciple

Thunder cheeks: not right now sausage

Thunder cheeks: SAUSAGE??

Thunder cheeks: YOURE FOLLOWING THAT DUMB SUN GOD RITUAL STUFF???

Wood man: uhh

Wood man: uhhhhh

 

Wood man left the chat

little goblin man added Sausage to 'Best class [E2]'

little goblin man changed Sausage's name to 'Wood'

 

Grain: This is getting interesting

hOtGuY: I dont really understand but 🍿

ZombieCleo: Give me some

lonely little man: God damnit Scott.

lonely little man: To clarify, he and I are not dating. We were just watching a movie since he wasn't feeling the best emotionally. Currently, he's asleep and for some reason left his phone unlocked.

Warrior Princess: I can see he's doing better :]

lonely little man: He definitely is. /gen

The Great Witch: oh no D:

Rancher Jimmy: :(

Rancher Jimmy: Good to hear he's much better than how he was before

Rancher Jimmy: Even if I don't know what happened

lonely little man: I'm sure he appreciates it.

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 28: a bad idea to drink caffeine at midnight

Summary:

pix comes to a revalation or however the fuck you spell it
and someone here needs a hug

Notes:

my brain melting, struggling to catch up with what's going on im sorry

also updates will probably be slower!! i have like. a whole week of just exams n its very exhausting :(

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Pixlriffs: Gem.

Pixlriffs: Gem.

Pixlriffs: Gem.

Wood man: GEMMMM

Gem: ?????

Gem: Guys it's 1:30 AM, I'm trying to sleep.

Pixlriffs: We've made a connection.

Wood man: yeahheha!!

Pixlriffs: Sausage always has dreams and visions that occur when he sleeps, or 'logs out', leading him to another place before waking up. You always seem to be sleeping constantly, not in a kind of napping way like the rest normally do either. We've gotten suspicious.

Gem: Oh

Gem: Well

Gem: Hold on guys

–––––

GeminiTay added Pixlriffs and Sausage to 'Unnamed Chat'

 

GeminiTay: I am a 'roleplayer' of sorts!

GeminiTay: I'm a kind of 'princess' here in Emprista, but there, I'm an elf :)

Pixlriffs: Oh.

Sausage: ooon ?0

GeminiTay: Did you guys have too much coffee yesterday?

Pixlriffs: I was staying up trying to figure out who took my emerald ore. I made a revelation.

Sausage: thnen hwy didi yuo take bdsubs things immedigately??

GeminiTay: We always do that with Bdubs

GeminiTay: Anyways, that's it :)

 

GeminiTay deleted the chat

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

lonely little man: is the hot guy okay

Pixlriffs: Why are you awake at this time?

lonely little man: i could ask the same thing pixl riffs

Pixlriffs: The emerald ore.

Pixlriffs: I'm still watching you, Scott.

lonely little man: you can watch me anytime ;)

Wood man: D:

Gem: Scott stop seducing every man in his vicinity challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

lonely little man: but like /gen i don't have it

Pixlriffs: Mhm yeah sure.

Pixlriffs: Wait, you don't??

Pixlriffs: Just checked my lore compass. It's no longer pointing to your house.

Pixlriffs: What did you do to it, Scott?

lonely little man: i'm being set up i swear i don't have it pixy

Pixlriffs: .

–––––

[4:25 PM]

 

Thunder cheeks: why does jimmy look absolutely miserable

Rancher Tango: He's become unresponsive

Rancher Tango: Uhm.

Wood man: oh no!! D:

lonely little man: is jimmy ok? if not i hope he feels better soon /gen

hOtGuY: does the sherifrf need anything??@!

hOtGuY: brand new deputy at his service!!

little goblin man: >:(

Rancher Tango: Jimmy here, I'm fine, it's just a bit personal and kinda silly

Rancher Tango: Don't worry about me

lonely little man: oh, alright, well i'm glad to hear you're doing good <3

Rancher Tango: Hello Tango again

Rancher Tango: He is NOT doing fine he literally used my phone because his eyes were too blurry to see what was going on on his phone

lonely little man: oh

lonely little man: oh no

hOtGuY: is eh going blind>?

Evil Incarnate: NOT THE SHERIRFF

Wood man: oh no!!! DD:

Gem: I think he means that Jimmy was crying a lot to the point where the tears blurred his vision a lot.

Wood man: D:

hOtGuY: THATS WORSE

hOtGuY: im heading over to help him out becuase that doest sound good at all

lonely little man: tango where the FUCK are you two rn

Rancher Tango: Our house

lonely little man: aight omw now

lonely little man: don't tell jimmy because he WILL stop me

ZombieCleo: Poor timmy

ZombieCleo: Also FUCK YOU JOEY GRACEFFA

Wood man: ?!??!

God of the Sea: Wow, I help you guys out and THIS is how you repay me?!

God of the Sea: I give you things for self defense, food, and a place to stay!

Xisumavoid: You killed Reginald in cold blood.

ImpulseSV: Reginald?

Pixlriffs: The fat parrot.

Docm77: Not reginald D:

Wood man: NOT REGINALD DD:

ZombieCleo: Were teaming up with the witch and were kicking your ass

Xisumavoid: So we're kicking nothing? Since he doesn't have one.

Grain: LMSOOO

Bdubs: Ooooo

The Great Witch: dang

Pearl: plot twist the only reason they parted with joey is because he got no ass /j

The Great Witch: then you guys are gonna leave me and my nonexistent ass too /j

Thunder cheeks: yknow i half expected katherine to hop online and deny that

Rancher Jimmy: Hey guys, do you know of the Elven King? He's kinda...

Warrior Princess: Joel.

hOtGuY: Hes inda joel??

Grain: WHAT

JoeHills: I'm sorry who

ImpulseSV: ^

Docm77: ^^

iJevin: ^^^

a normal human: @Pixlriffs do your thing magic man

Pixlriffs: The Elven King is a character completely based off of one of the past students of Emprista High. As the name would suggest, he is an elf. He has ice powers, lives up in the frosty mountains, and is suspiciously like Scott, sharing the same blue hair and smug attitude, along with other characteristics.

Pixlriffs: Sausage had sent that message on Jimmy's account before.

Gem: Why is Jimmy bringing this up again?

Warrior Princess: I think he just really likes Scott

Rancher Jimmy: AAAA NOT AGAIN THAT WAS SCOTT

Rancher Jimmy: I SWEAR I DON'T FIND THAT SMUG PRICK OF A KING ATTRACTIVE

Rancher Jimmy: LET ALONE LIKE HIM

lonely little man: jim i'm in the kitchen rn?? i don't have your phone tango can vouch for me

Rancher Tango: It's true Scott never took his phone since he arrived

Rancher Jimmy: SCAR

hOtGuY: I cannot vouch nor not vouch because i personall ddi not notice.

Rancher Jimmy: GOSHDARNIT

a normal human: i have a big announcement guys

little goblin man: *crowd gasps* :OO

falsesymmetry: ?????

a normal human: drumroll please

little goblin man: 🥁

little goblin man: 🥁🥁

Bdubs: what

little goblin man: >:(

a normal human: >:((

Wood man: don't interrupt them!!

little goblin man: :) ty sausge

little goblin man: 🥁

little goblin man: 🥁🥁

little goblin man: 🥁🥁🥁

a normal human: rats

Notes:

let me know if:
1, anyone is out of character
2, there is anything that could be added / changed

yell at me on tumblr if you wanna say anything:
https://at.tumblr.com/crazy-pe3p/3lk6vrz16n75

Chapter 29: a bad idea to enter the fog

Summary:

sculk oooo

and other stuff as per usual

Notes:

sorry for not updating this in a while :(
im struggling to keep up with whatevers happening rn

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

hOtGuY: why is there thewerid skulk thuings in our house

Grain: What

lonely little man: why in the world are all of my lights the soul lights what the heck

lonely little man: i mean

God of the Sea: Someone gave me these really pretty blue lights <33

lonely little man: stfu stfu stfu

lonely little man: something corrupting emprista?

lonely little man: that's so 2 years ago smh

Warrior Princess: Is this in reference to Xornoth's corruption?

lonely little man: no this is referencing sausage

lonely little man: YES THIS IS REFERENCING XORNOTH

The Sheriff: Woah, calm down Scott

lonely little man: no <3

cubfan135: It's a bit too bright around Emprista.

Gem: It's… not?

Wood man: dolores agrees with you cub

Gem: That's because she's a warden, they have sensitive eyes.

Gem: As far as I'm aware, Cub isn't a warden.

cubfan135: Spread the word, spread the sculk. :)

The Great Witch: uh oh

Wood man: what did you do!??

Evil Incarnate: oooweee

The Great Witch: so i may have gotten cub to enter the fog around my house for research

The Great Witch: he offered, before you get mad

The Great Witch: and now he's all sculky and wardeny and i don't like it

The Great Witch: but hey i got a huge toad in return so that's something

cubfan135: Thank you for introducing me to that fog, Shelby.

The Great Witch: i

The Great Witch: yw?? ig???

Pixlriffs: …I don't think people should be entering the fog, as intriguing as it is.

Pixlriffs: Until we find out what that fog is and why it's there, let's maybe *not* interact with it as much as possible.

 

Rendog added Rendog to 'Best class [E2]'

Rendog changed their name to 'Ren'

 

Ren: Hello

Ren: Sir Pix found me in one of the graves

ImpulseSV: Oh, it's you.

Ren: I promise I'm starting over

Ren: I'm not even taking any stuff from people

Pixlriffs: That is true, he's been refusing a lot of the items that I offered him when I first dug him out.

Thunder cheeks: why do people keep suddenly joining wtf

Thunder cheeks: also why the FUCK is there sculk all over my house

Thunder cheeks: CUB??!

JoeHills: Shelby why did you not hire me instead

Thunder cheeks: i dont think you want to become a ward joe

JoeHills: But maybe I might enjoy it

JoeHills: @falsesymmetry There's like, a false False in your house btw

Falsesymmetry: Excuse you

JoeHills: A

ZombieCleo: HAVE YOU SEEN HIM

 

ZombieCleo sent an attachment - tim.png (A picture of Tiny Tim in a jester hat.)

 

lonely little man: he's so tiny and cute <33

Pearl: He tagged me >:(

lonely little man: ah, that

lonely little man: yeah scar tried to get me but i instead got his little sheriff hat

a normal human: grain sent me into this weird void thing with chickens and frogs and he tagged me there

a normal human: thankfully he got me out and gave me a sorry you got tagged box which definitely had all the stuff i used to have before i dropped them into the void yep yep

Grain: Who is this GrAiN character you speak of

Xisumavoid: I don't think it works now, since your nickname is literally 'Grain'.

Grain: …

Pearl: I managed to tag Fwhip though

Pearl: It was with a Ward kid though

little goblin man: i trusted you :((

Pearl: I trusted Jimmy but look where we are now

little goblin man: fair point

little goblin man: i trusted him too but he tried to get scar after me so i took his student rep away from him

Evil Incarnate: MY GOD you already had a literal court case half way through maths???

Evil Incarnate: i wasntt htere but  you guys were loud enough for me to hear on the other side of thehall

ImpulseSV: Your friends are weird, Gem.

Gem: Yeah, I know.

The Great Witch: alright so i'm just gonna find out what's going on with the fog soooo..

hOtGuY: yes

The Great Witch: yes

Notes:

let me know if:
1. anyone is ooc
2. if theres anything youd like to see in the future

ask me about anything the au on my tumblr

(sometimes i talk abt it on there too)

also check out 'the golden tavern' if you want (that's what ive been writing since i stopped here)

Chapter 30: a bad idea to keep flirting

Summary:

sculk scott and life games i think

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

cubfan135 changed their name to "Sculk"

 

Sculk: Spread the souls. Spread the sculk.

Thunder cheeks: I CANNTO WITH YOU AND YOUR SCULK

lonely little man: cannto <3

lonely little man: someone give me a new name please i hate this

 

Pixlriffs changed lonely little man's name to "Flirt"

 

Flirt: oh hi pix <3

Pixlriffs: Stop putting hearts whenever you talk to me.

Flirt: but why notttt

Pixlriffs: It makes you sound like we're dating.

Flirt: but ily pix <3

Pixlriffs: …

Pixlriffs: Love you too.

Flirt: /p ofc

Pixlriffs: <3 /p

Evil Incarnate: pix not writing anything but herts and toen indicatorsx looks so weird

Wood man: oh fiddlesticks!! this really ruffles my featheres!!

Evil Incarnate: I KNOW I DONT SWEAR BUT PELASE

Evil Incarnate: @a normal human

a normal human: just say fuck

Rancher Jimmy: Oh

Rancher Jimmy: Hey Tango

Rancher Tango: Uh oh

Rancher Tango: Hold on

Flirt: is he ok??

Rancher Jimmy: Yeah yeah don't worry about it Scott

Flirt: ok?

Wood man: DDD:

Flirt: hi sausage

Wood man: what about me D:

Flirt: you broke my heart when i found out you kissed keralis </3

Keralis: uh oh

Wood man: its how we greet oepople!!! I pormise1!

Keralis: im sorry smajor

Flirt: then why didn't you try deny it before

Wood man: i thought you were ok with it DD:

Flirt: .fine

Wood man: now can you let me in im at your house and i have gifts

Flirt: k

Sculk: Sculk is a good gift

Flirt: i don't want sculk

Pixlriffs: Oh Cub, I need to talk to you.

Pixlriffs: Meet me at mine.

Sculk: 👍

–––––

Sculk: Eugh

Sculk: What happened

Sculk: Wait why is my name 'Sculk'

Pixlriffs: Good news for all, we finally got the old cubfan135 back.

Thunder cheeks: how did you do that

The Great Witch: every single potion i could conjure up

falsesymmetry: We trapped him in a hole

Xisumavoid: Oh, thank god.

Thunder cheeks: yes thank me

Bdubs: IM GOD

Pearl: I'm not god but I feel like I defend Saint Pearl

Thunder cheeks: SAUSAGE

Bdubs: WHOS MORE IMPORTANT

Wood man: hi this is scott

 

Wood man sent an attachment - sleepy.png (Scott's taking a selfie with a sleeping Sausage on his lap.)

 

Wood man: also please do not pressure him into picking one tyvm❤️

Pearl: Sorry Sausage :(

ZombieCleo: Ayo

ZombieCleo: Ok wait who the fuck are you dating because this is getting confusing

Wood man: …i'm not dating anyone

Wood man: cleo you know this

ZombieCleo: Oh

Wood man: cleo

JoeHills: Where did the gods go?

Thunder cheeks: sorry sausge..

Bdubs: soz

Wood man: good

Wood man: never do this again

Wood man: otherwise i'm kicking your pathetic fake asses.

Wood man: you "gods" don't scare me.

Wood man: you all are just compensating for things that you don't have like height.

Thunder cheeks: i promise i wont do anything every again scott

a normal human: someone sounds scared

Grain: Yeah Joel

Thunder cheeks: listen

Thunder cheeks: he took out a ward without issue and also used full stops

Bdubs: i dont want to meet scoot

Wood man: it's scott.

Bdubs: scott*

Pearl: You should be scared of my bestie

Pearl: Scott what's your user thing again

Wood man: flirt

Pearl: Right

 

Pearl changed Flirt's name to "Gatekeep"

Pearl changed ZombieCleo's name to "Gaslight"

Pearl changed their name to "Girlboss"

 

Girlboss: THE 3 GS ARE BACK

Gaslight: Woah wait yo

Wood man: WAIT WAIT WIAT

Gatekeep: SLAYYY

Rancher Jimmy: What

Rancher Jimmy: Oh wait the Scottage thing

Pixlriffs: Scottage?

Grain: Ah yes

Grain: The games

little goblin man: what games??

Grain: So basically

Grain: Do you guys know From Green to Red

Pixlriffs: Yes, I do. It's an interesting series, to say the least.

Grain: I made those books basically

Grain: From games I hosted with a buncha people

Grain: The old people from Emprista were part of Red Hearts

Pixlriffs: Ah.

Girlboss: Still slightly upset that you abandonded me in DL SCOTT

Gatekeep: 1. you and martyn were off doing whatever without a care for your soulmates

Gatekeep: 2. i literally let you win you don't get to say anything

Gaslight: Oh god not martyn

Rancher Jimmy: I had fun in DL :)

Rancher Tango: <3 

Rancher Jimmy: <33

Wood man: ohh!! so thats where the rancher thing came from!!!!

Rancher Tango: Yea

Thunder cheeks: i was the best

Gatekeep: you were the most unhinged. ll especially.

Thunder cheeks: as i said, the best

Girlboss: You literally attempted to murder me and Scott a few times actually

Girlboss: And thats not considering the rest

Thunder cheeks: yeah, that makes me the best

Gatekeep: but i won though

Gatekeep: doesn't that make me the best?

Thunder cheeks: ...

Grain: You never won a game Joel

ImpulseSV: Grian won, Scott won, Pearl won, but Scott almost won in the most recent game before letting Pearl win

Gatekeep: exactly joel

Gatekeep: so who's the better one?

 

Thunder cheeks left the chat

 

little goblin man: SCOTT IMPULSE 😭

Gaslight: HELP

Bdubs: ONE LESS GOD IN THE WORLD LFG

Girlboss: HEHJJFHEHAHEF

Gatekeep: making a "god" miserable and embarrassed isn't that hard jimmy, how come you can't do this?

Rancher Jimmy: I don't have the sass that you have okay

Gatekeep: k i'm teaching you and probably tango if he wants on sass and pissing joel off

Gem: He's never gonna get it Scott

Gatekeep: i can try though

 

little goblin man added Joel to "Best class [E2]"

little goblin man changed Joel's name to "Sad God"

 

little goblin man: joel specifically asked if i could add him back so he could say something

Sad God: screw you scott (not literally ew)

 

Sad God left the chat

Notes:

hi please give requests
i think i'm running out of things to write and i'm getting lazier with keeping up with canon
but i do still want to write so in the meantime if you have ideas give me things to write about with this thanks :)

let me know if:
1. anyone is ooc
2. if theres anything youd like to see in the future

ask me about anything the au on my tumblr

Chapter 31: a bad idea to talk lives

Summary:

woah life series real :O

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

falsesymmetry: Is anyone going to add Joel back…?

Gatekeep: but it's so peaceful without him

 

little goblin man added Joel to "Best class [E2]"

 

Gatekeep: damnit fwhip

Joel: euhg

Joel: i need sonething to hug @a normal human

a normal human: why the hell did you tag me

a normal human: pathetic little man

Joel: rude

Joel: i just wanted a hug from you :/

a normal human: what

Gatekeep: 👀👀

Warrior Princess: 👀👀👀👀👀

–––––

Miserable Romancers

 

Lizzie: AAWHEHAKWDJAKASNDKAJ

Gay panic: lmao

Lizzie: WHY FROM ME TNHO

Katherine: Maybe he likes you?

Lizzie: BUT HE COULD ASK SAUSAGE AND EH;D SAY EYS

Katherine: Hunny he's busy with kissing Scott on the couch

Gay panic: ok no

Gay panic: we were not kissing he just fell asleep and i let him

Lizzie: uhuh sure

Gay panic: wait hey hey hey

Gay panic: this is about LIZZIE and her crush on JEOL not me and sausage

Lizzie: no no its judst joel being joel and feeling sad and pathetic after you cleaned the floor with him yesterday

Lizzie: you on the other hand

Gay panic: it's just me being me

Lizzie: yes but you also act very flustered around not 1

Katherine: Not two

Lizzie: but THREE people at once

Gay panic: ok but

Katherine: What do you have to say for yourself, Scott?

Gay panic: ... they're hott,, okay??

Gay panic: jimmy and sausage are both complete himbos and pix is equally strong and very smart

Lizzie: i think we both really like stupid but strong men

Lizzie: exception is pix

Katherine: My GF is very smart :))

Gay panic: not really but whatever makes you happy

Katherine: >:O

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

Joel: please

Joel: its either you or i force scott to comfort me

Gatekeep: ew

Gatekeep: lizzie hug him and i pay you 20 bucks

a normal human: fine

a normal human: omw

Gatekeep: ty bestie <3 /p

a normal human: dont forget your 20 dollars scott

Gatekeep: mhm

Gaslight: Scott always keeps his promises lizzie

Girlboss: Vouch

Girlboss: The man never tried to murder us in LL

Girlboss: Even as the boogey

Gatekeep: i'm very trustworthy with promises lizzie :)

a normal human: i feel worried that the 3 gs are now here uhhh

Rendog: He's good at advice as well, he helped me and bigb realise we werent happy together

Rancher Jimmy: Relationship ranch (derogatory)

Grain: Woah!! That's a big word for Timmy

Rancher Jimmy: RUDE

Rendog: The ranch was very pretty though

Rendog: Cannot deny

Gatekeep: ty ren

Grain: Hey did you guys know that the Scott and Jimmy from the first games were 'husbands'

Rancher Jimmy: Haha very funny, Grian

Rancher Tango: I did not know that,,,

Rancher Jimmy: You beleived him??

Gaslight: Believed*

Gaslight: Also Grian's not wrong tbh

Gaslight: Me and that Scott made an alliance that if his 'husband' and my 'husband' went out of the game we'd become the widow's alliance

Gatekeep: 👀

Grain: Also apparently the old Jimmy couldn't spell either

Grain: Just like this one

Pixlriffs: Ah. The "Pufferish" of Peace. One of the biggest things between the 'flower husbands', as people call them. If I recall correctly, the cod (Jimmy - CF) had given the elf (Scott - EK) a 'pufferish' of peace after the first few days of school.

Gem: I've also heard people say that we're the reincarnations of the previous class of E1

falsesymmetry: Is that why Scott and Jimmy seem in love?

Rancher Tango: Wha

Rancher Jimmy: ...oh

-[Rancher Jimmy: No wonder he feels important]-

Gatekeep: what.

 

Rancher Jimmy deleted a message

 

Rancher Jimmy: What?

Gatekeep: .okay then

Rancher Tango: Jimmyyyy I saw that

Ren: I remember dogwarts

Ren: And martyn :)

Bdubs: boogeymen /neg

Grain: I still cannot believe that I was stuck with Scar for two of three life games.

hOtGuY: Yyou cant get rid of me :> 

Grain: I KNOW AND THAT'S THE WORST PART

hOtGuY: :<

Rancher Jimmy: NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU, GRAIN

Grain: Grain

Rancher Jimmy: SHUSH

Notes:

let me know if:
1. anyone is ooc
2. if theres anything youd like to see in the future

ask me about anything the au on my tumblr

Chapter 32: a bad idea to enter a new place

Summary:

beep boop rift stuff

Notes:

i tried to put together a chapter with the little bits of information that i remember from other vids and scott's video
pls correct me if something's incorrect

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Class H9

Grian added Grian, GoodTimeWithScar, and 12 others to Class H9

 

Grian: WE'RE BACK

Grian: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING HERE BUT WE ESCAPED EMPRISTA

GoodTimeWithScar: jimmy tried arresting me to keep me there

ZombieCleo: We're free from the clutches of the empires

Pearlescentmoon: Yeah but Scott :/

ZombieCleo: Not gatekeep :(

 

fWhip added fWhip, Pixlriffs, and 10 others to Class H9

 

fWhip: HELLO HELLO

fWhip: you cant escape us >:)

Grian: Hold on did that say "Pixlriffs joined the chat?"

Grian: IMPULSE

ImpulseSV: On it!

 

ImpulseSV sent an attachment - twohc.mp3 (the "THIS WEEK ON EMPIRES")

 

Grian: PPIX PIX

Pixlriffs: This week, on Hermit City. Me. I made it guys.

Scott: ????

Pearlescentmoon: SCOTT

Scott: pearl!! cleo!!!!

ZombieCleo: Hello gatekeep :)

Jimmy Solidarity: I'm normal sized again!

Pixlriffs: A real boy!

Jimmy Solidarity: I was already a real boy! But okay!

Rendog: Free food for everyone :)

Rendog: Where are you

Weird Music Kid: Place with robot guy

Weird Music Kid: grumbot

Weird Music Kid: HEY DOIDNDT WE LBLOBW BHIME UP

cubfan135: Translation?

Pixlriffs: "Hey, didn't we blow him up?!"

cubfan135: ah

Grian: WHY ARE YOU ALL IN MY BASEMENT

GoodTimeWithScar: isnt that where the rifty is

JoeHills: I don't get why you're asking why they're there from your rift in your basement

Grian: ...guys do we accept them into Hermit City and class H9?

fWhip: hey we did for you guys

Jimmy Solidarity: It would be fair if you did the same for us

Grian: That's fair

Xisuma: Welcome to Hermit City. And our class, I think.

Xisuma: I'll need to check in with the teacher and you'll also need a place to live.

Rendog: @MythicalSausage I've got a nice place for you

Rendog: Get over here

Pixlriffs: Are you talking about this?

 

Pixlriffs sent an attachment - throne.png (an image of Pix sitting atop a diamond block, holding a totem and what looks like an Impulse head)

 

Rendog: He's taken the throne before we even got in Sausage

MythicalSausage: oh

Scott: lookin good king ;)

Pixlriffs: Thank you, Scott.

Scott: i'll be your loyal servant if you want ;))

Pixlriffs: …I appreciate the offer, but no thanks.

Scott: well, my offer still stands pixy <3

MythicalSausage: :((((

Jimmy Solidarity: …

Pixlriffs: Both of you calm down, I can feel your jealousy from all the way over here.

MythicalSausage: whats do you mean im nit jealous hhhahaahahahahahahhahhhahahhha

Jimmy Solidarity: I'm not jealous. What makes you think I'm jealous?

Pixlriffs: Mhm. Sure. I definitely believe you.

MythicalSausage: YOUR JEALOUS

Pixlriffs: You're*

Pixlriffs: …I don't get why I'd be the one jealous in this scenario, since I'm the one with Scott. Not you two.

Pearlescentmoon: Scott calm your boys down

Pearlescentmoon: Hey Sausage remember the goose

MythicalSausage: GASP

MythicalSausage: THE GOLDEN GOOSE??

MythicalSausage: form my travelling??!

 

Pearlescentmoon sent an attachment - goose.png (a plushie of the golden goose)

 

Pearlescentmoon: I found this somewhere in my chests

MythicalSausage: AAAAAAAAAAAAAZswaefwrgfertgh

Scott: good job pearl, you killed him

ZombieCleo: Hey scott i see you

ZombieCleo: Wanna live at mine

Scott: ofc gaslight

ZombieCleo: :)

Scott: ooo wait

Scott: hey scarrrrr

GoodTimeWithScar: yes scott? :)

Scott: do you have a spare room in your hotel thing

fWhip: ^

Joel: ^^

GoodTimeWithScar: ye :))

ZombieCleo: >:(

Scott: sorry cleo

Scott: i just need the chance to live at an amusement park

ZombieCleo: Its not even open yet

Scott: yeah but

GoodTimeWithScar: i jsut need rto get the rooms all ready

Scott: i really want to live in an amusement park

Scott: cleo it's ✨colourful✨

ZombieCleo: :(

Pixlriffs: Does anyone want to be here for my live Hermit City Recap?

ZombieCleo: I would like to witness it

MythicalSausage: ooO!! me!!!!p

XBCrafted: I'd like to see :)

Jimmy Solidarity: Where did you come from??

XBCrafted: shhhhhhhh

JoeHills: Me too!

Pixlriffs: Meet at the café.

Joel: im lost help me

Pixlriffs: …I'll go help Joel and then meet you all at the café.

Notes:

HI
i realised that it was not in fact pearl but it was xbcrafted who was there during the live hc recap. so yea.

let me know if:
1. anyone is ooc
2. if theres anything youd like to see in the future

ask me about anything the au on my tumblr

Chapter 33: a bad idea to talk about children

Summary:

joel has 3 children. when the fuck did that ever happen hello

Notes:

i. i don't know what's happening in empires at this point (other than scott's pov) im sorry so im going off canon until i write when they go back ig?

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Scott: i'm coming home

Jimmy Solidarity: FOR QUISMOIS

Scott: omg

Scott: i love you so much jimmy <333333

MythicalSausage: ;-;

Grian: Well clearly not

Grian: You're still here

Joel: yes but we can go back unlike you bozos

Joel: also where the hell did hermes go

MythicalSausage: hermes is with eddie and tía maria!!

Jimmy Solidarity: Eugh

Jimmy Solidarity: Tom is obviously better

Grian: Tommy?

Grian: The chicken child?

Jimmy Solidarity: No, Tom Beans-Solidarity

MythicalSausage: Beans??

Scott: beans. beans-solidarity.

Scott: jimmy i confess my love for you and this is what happens </3

Jimmy Solidarity: Scott are you /j or /srs

Scott: :(

TangoTek: Hold up

TangoTek: What did Scott say???

TangoTek: Jimmy we need to talk /srs

Scott: uh oh

Weird Music Kid: HE HAD A CHILD WITH ME TOO HER NAME IS MANDY

MythicalSausage: MORE KIDS :O

MythicalSausage: are they cuties tho??

 

Joel sent 2 attachments - ttom.png, mandymane.png

 

MythicalSausage: AWWW CUTIES!! <3

iJevin: Hey, I found that kid in front of my house in a present box.

Jimmy Solidarity: I'M TAKING HIM BACK LATER

Jimmy Solidarity: K, bye again

iJevin: I wasn't really ready for kids anyways so thanks I guess?

GoodTimeWithScar: hey i wonder what the timmytango duo are talking aboit

Bdouble100: Sounds like a spicy drink

fWhip: i have a feeling theyre talking about scott because

Pixlriffs: The two are most likely talking about Scott. Tango only mentioned the need to talk with Jimmy after he read what Scott had sent.

Pixlriffs: Although I doubt it's really anything bad.

Pixlriffs: They most definitely do not find you uncomfortable, it's actually quite the opposite. Do not lock yourself up in your hotel room unless you want me to forcefully drag you to the local café and make you talk to them.

Scott: they're probably talking abt how uncomfortable i make him feel and i honestly feel bad about that so i might stay huddled up in my little comfort corner in scar's hotel

Scott: what the fuck. how the fuck.

–––––

Private chat between My canary and My Blaze

 

My canary: What is it love?

My Blaze: About Scott

My canary: Oh, he's uh. He's always like that

My Blaze: That's fair, I guess

My Blaze: We should probably talk about what's going on with the three of us

My canary: Nno we don't, it's fine, why would we need to talk about him haha

My Blaze: Because it's pretty clear that YOU like him

My canary: Uhhhhhh no......

My Blaze: Hey, I don't mind sharing, esp not with a guy as great as him

My canary: It's either he's always flirty or he just has a liking towards us

My canary: Either way, the others like him too, I'm pretty sure...

My Blaze: Then we just have to sweep him off his feet first.

–––––

Class H9

 

Joel: sausage im surprised you dont mind the fact i have 3 kids with 3 different people

MythicalSausage: not at all!! theyre cuties!!!

Grian: I feel like our Hermit chat turned into an Emprista chat

ImpulseSV: I feel like it might've.

Shelby: uh…

Shelby: hey guys… doesn't the portal seem smaller to you?

Notes:

ao3 copy pastes
let me know if:
1. anyone is ooc
2. if theres anything youd like to see in the future

ask me about anything the au on my tumblr

Chapter 34: a bad idea to leave

Summary:

they finally leave

Notes:

i'm sorry for taking so long and also for the shorter chapter :(
i'm not very caught up with empires and i haven't really. like, paid attention to the crossover. i might drift into less canon stuff and more headcanons (also finally get into the comments with ideas and suggestions)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Grian: Alright who put the mistletoe up in the classroom doorway.

Jimmy Solidarity: Honestly though why do you still have school

Jimmy Solidarity: It's QUISMOIS

Grian: Well they make it fun so...

ZombieCleo: I put it there cus i thought it would be funny

Grian: Okay then put it away before Scar calls me over because he's currently under thr mistletoe.

Grian: Dang it never mind.

Scott: ugh finally

Scott: @Jimmy Solidarity @Joel @TangoTek we've all been waiting for this to happen haven't we?

Jimmy Solidarity: Yes

Joel: wait why

TangoTek: They haven't confessed yet, Joel

Joel: wait theyre not dating????

Scott: don't worry, joel, i thought the same at first

TangoTek: Same until my songbird told me otherwise

Grian: YOU ALL THOUGHT WE WERE DATING????

Rendog: Honestly I get why

Grian: REN.

Bdouble100: its easy to make that mistake

ImpulseSV: They're like an old couple.

Pearlescentmoon: Always arguing like one

Joel: MY GIFT FUCK

Joel: GRIAN OPENED MY GIFT AND NOW I DONT HAVE IT

Grian: L

Joel: SHUT UP AND GO BACK TO KISSING SCAR

Grian: :/

Scott: cry abt it

Weird Music Kid: oowee

Weird Music Kid: i have a gift for the sheriff

 

Pixlriffs sent an attachment - scarian.png (a picture of scar and grian kissing under the mistletoe - scar is absolutely bewildered while grian grabs him by the shirt.) 

 

Scott: OHMYGOD FINALLY

ZombieCleo: WOOOOOO

Jimmy Solidarity: What is it Oli?

Weird Music Kid: i dmed oyu the file

Jimmy Solidarity: Ooh

–––––

Shelby: 1. merry christmas

Shelby: 2. happy new year!

Shelby: 3. THE PORTALS STILL SHRINKING

Scott: yyep i've noticed

Joel: uh oh

ZombieCleo: So you guys need to leave then huh

Jimmy Solidarity: Unfortunately

TangoTek: I'll miss you songbird <3

TangoTek: I know you're not gone forever but still

Jimmy Solidarity: <3

TangoTek: Keep me updated with you know who

Scott: uh oh x2

Shelby: so uh i'm heading in bye forever

Jimmy Solidarity: Bye Tango!! <3

 

Shelby left the chat

Jimmy Solidarity left the chat

 

Scott: and there she goes

fWhip: farewell to you all

fWhip: scar your place was nice

 

fWhip left the chat

 

Scott: oh god it's actually so tiny

Scott: that's what he said

Scott: anyways bye

Scott: i'll miss you girlboss, gaslight

Pearlescentmoon: D:

ZombieCleo: See you in the next games scott

 

Scott left the chat

Joel left the chat

Lizzie left the chat

Katherine Elizabeth left the chat

JOEY GRACEFFA left the chat

 

Grian: Op

Grian: There they all go

iJevin: Why is there a child at my doorstep?

MythicalSausage: i think that was your secret santa!!

Weird Music Kid: im out

 

Weird Music Kid left the chat

 

MythicalSausage: bye guys!! miss you!! <3

Pearlescentmoon: DD:

 

MythicalSausage left the chat

 

Pixlriffs: Well, this is where I say goodbye.

Pixlriffs: See you on Empires, Gem.

 

Pixlriffs left the chat

 

Grian: They're finally gone oh my god

Notes:

let me know if:
1. anyone is ooc
2. if theres anything youd like to see in the future

ask me about anything the au on my tumblr

Chapter 35: a bad idea to like orange

Summary:

owen of the juice variety returns briefly

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Best class [E2]

 

lonely little man: WHAT THE FUCK

Pixlriffs: Are you alright, Scott?

lonely little man: my house is covered in orange paint.

The Great Witch: maybe your parents repainted?

lonely little man: the thing is my parents went out on a business trip before we left to the hermits

lonely little man: and the paint job is too sloppy to be either of them too

Warrior Princess: That doesn't sound very good

lonely little man: oh no.

lonely little man: oh no no no no no

The Sheriff: Are you alright, Scott?

lonely little man: oheh!! iutis the toy amna!!

Wood: huh

lonely little man: AUGH

lonely little man: OWEN IS BACK

The Great Witch: YOU MEAN AS A HUMAN??

lonely little man: YEAH

–––––

lonely little man: k he's finally gone

lonely little man: probably stuck in an abandoned house or something

lonely little man: sausage can you help me get the llamas back in the pen 👉👈

Wood: of course!!!

Gem: Simp.

Wood: shhhhhh

lonely little man: jimmy, pix, help with the house please?

The Sheriff: Well, I'm not very happy about something you've done.

lonely little man: oh okay :(

The Sheriff: But I'll still help.

lonely little man: :D

lonely little man: pix?

Pixlriffs: I'm already on my way.

a normal human: wait i thought you guys were enemies

Evil Incarnate: enemies to lovers what ican i sawy

Pixlriffs: Enemies to friends.

Evil Incarnate: s yeah sure surej,

Warrior Princess: Not Scott convincing the guys to do work for him with his pretty face

lonely little man: that's just what i do

 

lonely little man changed their nickname to "main character"

 

little goblin man: ofc you have blue hair and pronouns

God of the Sea: You're the kind of main character that has a harem

main character: exactly my point /j

Warrior Princess: No but Scott does actually have a harem

a normal human: he has more men than jimmy does /j

The Sheriff: The only man in my life is Tango <3

a normal human: stop flirting with him hes not hereanymore

Thunder cheeks: what about scott huh

The Sheriff: He just flirts with me, he doesn't count

Thunder cheeks: anyways i think its impossible that scott could get more bithces that i do

The Sheriff: Language Joel

Warrior Princess: ^

Thunder cheeks: english

main character: why do you think that joel

Thunder cheeks: many reasons

main character: is one of them because i'm gay joel? /j

main character: because i'm trans? /j

main character: i cannot believe you joel s. beans of the smallishbeans variety

Thunder cheeks: wait no

Thunder cheeks: you cant cancel me

Thunder cheeks: you cant cancel GOD

Gem: He can still do it then, since you're not God.

Thunder cheeks: >:O

Wood: he is a god!! and a very powerful one!!

Pixlriffs: Mhm. Definitely. (/s)

The Great Witch: NOT THE TONE INDICATORS AGAIN

–––––

Private chat between My canary and My Blaze

 

My Blaze: Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy

My canary: What's up?

My Blaze: About Scott

My canary: Honey we just got back from Hermit's Crescent not much happened

My Blaze: But something did happen

My canary: .Yeah

My canary: So he asked me and a few others to help him

My canary: Nothing happened between the two of us other than the usual

My canary: But I think he and Pix kissed. I don't know

–––––

Best class [E2]

 

main character: kath, lizzie, jimmy's looking upset at his phone did i do something wrong again

main character: shit wait wrong chat

The Sheriff: You didn't do anything wrong and never did okay Scott? It's something else between me and Tango

main character: hope everything's ok

Gem: Looking at them, they're definitely doing alright.

Warrior Princess: Scott you're slowly exposing yourself

a normal human: at this rate even jimmys gonna find out

The Sheriff: Find out what?

a normal human: dont worry little man

The Sheriff: …k

Notes:

let me know if:
1. anyone is ooc
2. if theres anything youd like to see in the future

ask me about anything the au on my tumblr
(also drew a few things for the au on there! check it out if you want ig)

Chapter 36: update! not a chapter!

Chapter Text

hello guys

(this is the third time i'm trying to post this. fucking wifi /neg)

this is gonna be a side project thing now. i'm not gonna upload often, i might not upload for like, 3 months, since i'd began a bunch of other works that i'm putting more effort into (check them out btw, if you want :])
it's mostly because i don't know where i'm going with this, i don't really have any ideas for what to do, i haven't been very updated with empires lately (other than scott's stuff)
if you really want to, you can put ideas or requests in the comments with that information in mind (and for other stuff i have that isn't this fic)

and thanks for reading this silly little fic i began halfway through class :)