Work Text:
Grantaire created the group chat Plans for the birthday girl
Plans for the birthday girl 10:38 (Tuesday)
Grantaire added Joly to the group
Grantaire added Bossuet to the group
Grantaire: so are u guys throwing chetta a surprise party or what
Grantaire: do I need to keep the date free
Bossuet: as if you’d have anything better to do anyway, R
Grantaire: hahahah ur RUDE bestie
Bossuet: lol only as an act of love
Bossuet: but no!!! we haven’t yet planned much
Bossuet: I think she wanted to have a quiet one this year
Bossuet: we haven’t even bought chetta a gift yet?!
Joly: wait what
Bossuet: what
Grantaire: lmao what
Joly: I already sorted chetta’s birthday gift from me
Joly: I told u this
Joly: didn’t I????
Bossuet: omg seriously
Joly: seriously!!!
Bossuet: I thought we were doing a joint gift this year!!!
Grantaire: now theres an idea. A joint as a gift
Bossuet: is ur gift just from u??
Joly: we defo discussed this boss! I was doing smth a bit personal for her!
Bossuet: omg im so unlucky
Grantaire: ur not unlucky u and joly are just horrible communicators
Joly: so tru <3
Bossuet: I refute that
Bossuet: but also
Bossuet: omg!
Bossuet: I need to think of a gift!!!
Bossuet: aaaa
Grantaire: surely u would have had to think of a gift anyway even if it was a joint one
Joly: ngl I usually do that kinda thing
Bossuet: not always!!
Bossuet: but valid
Bossuet: but only cos u love picking stuff out!! I’m just as good a gift giver as u are
Joly: hahah omg absolutely no way!!!
Joly: I am the king of gift buying!!!
Joly: the gift buying god!!!!
Grantaire: he is p good at gifts bossuet
Bossuet: omg ok
Bossuet: right
Bossuet: this is a challenge!!
Bossuet: a duel, so to say!!
Bossuet: I challenge you to who can get musichetta the best birthday gift this year – R can be the moderator, and obvs chetta will judge
Joly: hahahah amazing
Joly: ur ON babe!!!
Grantaire: this feels mildly not in the spirit of your fave girlie’s birthday
Grantaire: but I am very amused so im in too
Commies and crepes 12:32
Courfeyrac: @All_Chat (@Enjolras @Combeferre @Feuilly @Bahorel @Grantaire @Joly @Bossuet @Musichetta @Marius @Eponine)
Courfeyrac: is anyone free today to do anything
Courfeyrac: im boooooooooooooored
Combeferre: shockingly, most of us are busy at work
Courfeyrac: are u implying im lazy??
Courfeyrac: in THIS economy, ferre????
Enjolras: there can be no moral goodness assigned to whether somebody has a job or not
Combeferre: of COURSE not
Combeferre: im not implying courf is annoying because he’s not at work
Combeferre: im implying courf is annoying because he’s inconsiderate
Combeferre: and that I am now going to turn my phone onto Do Not Disturb mode
Courfeyrac: booooo
Courfeyrac: it’s a good job I like u
Combeferre: good job I like you too
Grantaire: I mean tbf even those of us who do work aren’t always on 9-5 hours so like
Grantaire: im with courf
Grantaire: fire socialisation requests away whenever u like
Courfeyrac: yay!!! Ur free?
Grantaire: oh
Grantaire: actually no im collaborating on a project with my housemate jehan
Grantaire: but u kno… next time
Marius: I’m free
Enjolras: hahha imagine thinking courfeyrac’s offer was open to you
Courfeyrac: nice!! Wanna go grab an afternoon drink @Marius?
Courfeyrac: where do u live again?
Combeferre: really?
Grantaire: lmao
Courfeyrac to Marius 19:47
Courfeyrac: hey I enjoyed today!! Can I post that selfie on my Instagram?
Marius: That’s fine with me 😊
Courfeyrac: btw when are you usually free?
Courfeyrac: I keep odd hours with my auditions and rehearsals and stuff
Courfeyrac: so I’m often keen to do stuff when other people are working
Marius: well I’m freelancing atm as I mentioned
Courfeyrac: translating, u said?
Marius: mostly web translation yeah
Marius: Some corporate stuff too
Marius: I speak a few languages but there are a lot of languages I really still want to learn
Marius: So I’m going to start doing some more studies online now that I have managed to scrape together some of my own money
Courfeyrac: yeeaaah u said ur relationship with ur granddad is rocky, right?
Marius: Extremely so
Marius: I should like to financially support myself completely independently
Courfeyrac: that’s rly cool!!!
Courfeyrac: btw posted the photo but haven’t tagged u
Courfeyrac: whats ur insta?
Marius: Oh, I don’t use Instagram
Marius: Or much social media
Marius: I prefer to speak to people irl
Marius: Also if I’m perfectly honest I’m not at all very technically savvy
Courfeyrac: cute !
Courfeyrac: I have the most followers of any of the commies and crepes chat!
Marius: Cool?
Courfeyrac: so when will u be free then?
Marius: I’m not sure yet – I just paid for an online French course (one of the ones actually taught live with a tutorial group), and that starts on Monday
Marius: So I’m not sure how much of my time it will actually consume just yet!
Marius: but having both French and Arabic (as well as English ofc) will hopefully be really useful for me as it means I might be able to start opening up to more jobs in north Africa or like places like Lebanon etc!
Courfeyrac: french???????
Courfeyrac: I speak french!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marius: Really?
Courfeyrac: ye I studied it at uni!!!
Courfeyrac: cancel the course I’ll teach you!
Courfeyrac: I’d love to share that side of me I so rarely get to speak it these days!!
Marius: I’ve already paid, Courfeyrac
Marius: plus I need the official certification to get the jobs
Marius: But I really appreciate the offer!
Courfeyrac: ahh boo I would’ve liked that!
Courfeyrac: anyway hmu again when ur free
Courfeyrac: ur face is pretty enough that im already getting decent likes on that insta post lmao
Marius: Thanks?
Bossuet to Grantaire 12:24 (Thursday)
Bossuet: man I’m PANICKING
Bossuet: I thought jolllly was gonna sort this
Grantaire: it really shouldn’t be so hard?
Bossuet: what’ve you got her?
Grantaire: actually not that much I was too busy helping joly haha
Bossuet: wait what
Bossuet: tell me what he’s got
Bossuet: tellmetellmetellme
Bossuet: please
Bossuet: so that I won’t buy the same thing!!
Grantaire: oh I promise u u won’t
Bossuet: PLEASE R
Grantaire: ok FINE
Grantaire: just cos im a pushover
Grantaire: and im proud that I was able to help with the recommendations lmao
Grantaire: he’s not finished yet as far as I know but he’s been building her a folder on google maps pins of a bunch of places we think she’d enjoy visiting in london (so like a community garden in dalston, a weird edgy art gallery near bermondsey, a fringe show at soho theatre) or places that are meaningful to the two of them
Grantaire: and he made it so it makes up a route for a selection of dates (obvs with his body the way it is he’s nervy about doing too much in one go)
Grantaire: And he’s also bought a book from gays the word that apparently she’ll like and wrote the link to the google folder in the front
Bossuet: what in the FUCKS name
Bossuet: that’s far too thoughtful
Bossuet: what the fuck am I supposed to do
Bossuet: can hardly just buy her some cute socks
Grantaire: like just be thoughtful
Grantaire: if u could connect with her on a deeper way what would u do
Grantaire: what matters the most to u
Bossuet: idk R my fuckin family???
Bossuet: but I can’t even speak to chetta’s family that much she doesn’t really wanna introduce us and plus she’d like
Bossuet: have to spend the whole time translating
Grantaire: oh yeah true
Grantaire: fuck I forgot about that
Grantaire: us monolinguists suck
Grantaire: but a good start!!!
Grantaire: basically just try n think about how u deepen that connection I guess
Grantaire: idk that’s what jolllly was telling me anyway
Grantaire: don’t fuckin come to me for advice on the people u love
Bossuet: hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Bossuet: I try to be suave and sexy and this is how it comes out
Grantaire: good lord bossuet
Bossuet: BUT
Bossuet: you have inspired me
Bossuet: I am bubbling with inspiration
Grantaire: did I mention – good lord
Commies and crepes 8:01 (Monday)
Courfeyrac: soooooooooooooooooo
Courfeyrac: what’s everyone up to today?
Combeferre: as u well know, I am at work
Combeferre: and after work I shall be going to the haberdashery to acquire supplies for my cryptid making
Eponine: wait what?
Combeferre: what?
Grantaire: lmao don’t pretend that’s a normal thing to say
Combeferre: sorry I thought this was the private chat I maintain with @Enjolras and @Courfeyrac
Grantaire: rude lmao
Joly: ooooh I’m intrigued too!!!!
Combeferre: well, what are you up to today, joly?
Joly: going buying myself a set of DnD dice before my lectures this morning!!!
Joly: but they’re all so sparkly so I’m struggling!!!!!!!!!
Grantaire: I wanna hear about @Combeferre’s cryptid making
Combeferre: Fine
Combeferre: I want to make a fur-bearing trout
Grantaire: what
Feuilly: what?
Enjolras: ah
Enjolras: right before this goes off the rails, I’ll bite
Enjolras: I’m at work!
Enjolras: and then I’m prepping for the next ABC meeting
Grantaire: god more fucking ABC prep
Grantaire: do u ever live?
Grantaire: why don’t you join ur housemate in weird furry fish hobbies?
Enjolras: ferre isn’t my ONLY housemate
Enjolras: courfeyrac is weird too but between all three of us in the flat we do PLENTY of ABC prep
Grantaire: riiiiiight and that makes it less pathetic?
Musichetta: aaaaaaaaaalright @Grantaire thank u for ur contributions
Musichetta: I’m not on shift today but I’m going to be doing boring chores, so keen for any entertainment
Musichetta: @Bossuet is also home but apparently ignoring me
Bossuet: I told u this I am doing birthday prep u can’t come in!!!!!!!!!!
Courfeyrac: awwwww
Courfeyrac: cute!
Grantaire: im also at home. But not doing chores
Courfeyrac: this is a lot less fun of a question than I thought tbh
Courfeyrac: what about you, @Marius?
Combeferre: why are u asking marius
Combeferre: he shouldn’t even be in this chat
Eponine: hey that’s mean
Eponine: this isn’t an ABC chat it’s a CREPES chat
Combeferre: he's still a bootlick
Combeferre: but ur right I'll be quiet sorry @Eponine
Marius: You don’t want to ask me
Marius: Today isn’t going well
Marius: At all
FRENCH A1-A2 BLONDEAU ONLINE LANGUAGE SCHOOL 8:45
Blondeau: Welcome @All_Team (@Pontmercy @Lesgles @Robinson @Ahmed @Prabhakaran @Jones @Sho @Warwick +32 more)
Blondeau: I would like to welcome you all to our first French lesson of the semester. This course will be taught fully online but I expect you to treat it as the full university course that it is. Meaning the following things:
- You WILL read the course material
- You WILL submit all assignments on time
- I will host Drop-In hours on an MS Teams call. IF you require my assistance outside of these hours, you will contact me via EMAIL ONLY
- I WILL NOT accept vulgarity, inappropriate, or irrelevant conversation in this Teams Channel
- I WILL NOT accept absences
Commies and Crepes 8:57
Bossuet: If it helps I’ve signed up for this course and the tutor sounds like a fucking BARREL of laughs
Bossuet: I was slightly excited previously but now I am Not
Musichetta: course?
Bossuet: ohhh yeah uh @Grantaire told me all about this youtube series on art appreciation lol
Grantaire: yep that’s true!!!
Grantaire to Bossuet 9:00
Grantaire: wild guess. did I just cover for something for chetta’s birthday?
Bossuet: you did indeed!
Bossuet: and I shall win this competition with joly
Grantaire: love to hear the optimism lmao
Commies and Crepes 9:02
Marius: Oh, that sounds lovely
Marius: I was supposed to be doing something similar today
Marius: But I haven’t even been able to look at my computer yet it’s been so awful
Eponine: is there anything I can do to help?
Eponine: want me to message you privately?
Marius: I think it’s okay, thank you darling @Eponine
Marius: I think everyone on this group knows my living situation anyway
Marius: My grandfather Gillenormand has found out that I’ve been getting involved with you ABC guys
Marius: And obviously that is diametrically opposed to his beliefs
Marius: He’s currently threatening to throw me out of the house
Courfeyrac: hey hey if you ever need a place to stay you know we have a couch free for you anytime, right?
Combeferre: no we absolutely do NOT??????????
FRENCH A1-A2 BLONDEAU ONLINE LANGUAGE SCHOOL 9:05
Blondeau: Now that I have explained the rules, I hope that your feeble minds can all comprehend.
Blondeau: I believe I have given you all sufficient time to digest the rules
Blondeau: And thusly, I shall begin to call attendance – to confirm indeed that you were listening and understand – I do not trust the youths these days and the attention paid in these online classes.
Blondeau: And so I shall begin with the first test of attention before I assign our meeting schedules – I shall not start at the beginning of the alphabet. I shall instead begin with the most commonly used letters of the alphabet down to the least. Beginning with P.
Blondeau: @Paice?
Paice: Present?
Blondeau: Adequate. @Packman?
Packman: HERE
Bossuet to Grantaire 9:09
Bossuet: god this is miserable
Bossuet: I feel like I’m back in school
Grantaire: what is it ur even DOING?
FRENCH A1-A2 BLONDEAU ONLINE LANGUAGE SCHOOL 9:11
Lesgles: Is this necessary?
Blondeau: The capitals are unnecessary. The register is. @Pettit?
Pettit: Here
Blondeau: @Pontmercy?
Bossuet to Grantaire 9:13
Bossuet: I decided to try and learn some french!!!!!!!
Bossuet: so I can speak to chetta’s family!!!!
Bossuet: a bit
Bossuet: I think that would be a really cool birthday gift idk
Bossuet: to be able to introduce myself
Grantaire: oh my god that’s actually incredibly sweet
FRENCH A1-A2 BLONDEAU ONLINE LANGUAGE SCHOOL 9:15
Blondeau: Again, @Pontmercy.
Bossuet to Grantaire 9:16
Bossuet: yeah well it WOULD be if I was excited for it
Bossuet: turns out so far the teacher seems rly malicious
Grantaire: ??
Bossuet: he’s taking attendance and its almost like he WANTS someone to be absent just so he can publicly shame them
Bossuet: like there’s this guy at the moment who dared not reply in like ten whole seconds and it feels like the teacher is already frothing at the mouth lol
Bossuet: what a brave lad. So genuine in his lack of attention. Literally lesson one and he’s already vibing away on his own shit
Grantaire: what a guy
Bossuet: he cannot be held down!!! A Dreamer, an Inspiration! I wish I too were not fucking here rn lol
Grantaire: ok but by the sounds of what uv just told me he’s literally about to get kicked out
Bossuet: … true
FRENCH A1-A2 BLONDEAU ONLINE LANGUAGE SCHOOL 9:19
Blondeau: Final chance to respond, @Pontmercy!
Bossuet to Grantaire 9:20
Bossuet: I’m going to save him!
Grantaire: omg boss are you OKAY?
Grantaire: have you CONSIDERED THIS??
FRENCH A1-A2 BLONDEAU ONLINE LANGUAGE SCHOOL 9:20
Lesgles: Pontmercy present!
Lesgles: That’s me!
Blondeau: Your name is @Lesgles
Lesgles: Oh, I think you must be having some kind of technical issue – you can see I’m present in the Teams Channel as “Pontmercy”!
Blondeau: Right. If you say so
Blondeau: Let us proceed to the letter L then. @Laghmani?
Laghmani: Here
Bossuet to Grantaire 9:22
Bossuet: I’ve realised I might have made a mistake here
Grantaire: you don’t say!!!
Commies and crepes 9:23
Courfeyrac: ok I did smth to try and cheer u up @Marius
Courfeyrac: @Marius are you there??
Combeferre: oh no what if he’s gone forever
Enjolras: my heart would break!
Eponine: oh fuck off enjolras he literally just said he was having a hard day with family stuff
Enjolras: ur not even gonna come for ferre on that one?
FRENCH A1-A2 BLONDEAU ONLINE LANGUAGE SCHOOL 9:24
Blondeau: @Lesgles?
Lesgles: Present!
Blondeau: If you are M. Pontmercy, you are not B. Lesgles
Blondeau: Is there a Lesgles present?
Blondeau: clearly he is not
Blondeau removed Lesgles from the Team
Commies and crepes 9:25
Bossuet: any chance u could do smth to cheer me up too, @Courfeyrac?
Musichetta: why, what’s wrong??
Bossuet: oh uh
Bossuet: nothing babe
Bossuet: haahha
Grantaire to Bossuet 9:28
Grantaire: u fucked up ur French course thing didn’t u
Bossuet: I totally fucked up my French course thing yes
Grantaire: shit
Commies and crepes 18:16
Marius: Hey guys
Marius: You didn’t have to do anything for me @Courfeyrac!
Combeferre: he didn’t do much tbf
Courfeyrac: I made you an Instagram account!!!!
Courfeyrac: since you don’t have one!!!
Marius: oh
Marius: Thank you @Courfeyrac
Bahorel: u sound thrilled by this, @Marius
Marius: Is that sarcasm, @Bahorel?
Bahorel: it is 1000000% sarcasm
Marius: No, no, I appreciate @Courfeyrac’s attempts to cheer me up
Marius: I’m just not sure how much of a social media kind of guy I am
Feuilly: I'm the same, if that helps! @Bahorel does enough instagram for the both of us
Courfeyrac: u don’t wanna kno the account name? D=
Marius: You can share it if you like?
Marius: Apologies if I sound tired by the way, I’ve had a truly awful day with my family and missed all of the things I was ACTUALLY supposed to be doing today, and I’m upset about it
Courfeyrac: ok but
Courfeyrac: what if I told u I got a cosette fauchelevant to follow u??
Marius: Sorry what was that account name again???????????????? How do I log in??
Courfeyrac: @marius_pontmercy xoxooxox
Courfeyrac: I’ll DM u the password
Bossuet: wait
Bossuet: WAIT
Bossuet: Y O U
Marius: me?
Bossuet: YOU
Bossuet: you’re M. Pontmercy???
Marius: I am?
Bossuet: that is not a common name
Marius: it’s not tremendously no
Bossuet: you said you missed something important you were supposed to be doing today?
Marius: I did
Bossuet: IT’S YOU
Joly: is anybody going to explain wtf is going on???
Bossuet: no
Bossuet: I’m DMing marius!!
Bossuet to Marius 18:34
Bossuet: Hello person I don’t know very well at all!!!
Marius: Hello, is everything okay?
Bossuet: you were signed up for an French course today
Marius: That is possible
Bossuet: it is definite!!!
Bossuet: it was with blondeau, and you missed it!
Marius: Were you there?!
Bossuet: sometimes I do have these freak whims where I decide I want to better myself, yes
Marius: Small world
Bossuet: ikr??
Bossuet: but this blondeau fellow, well
Bossuet: he was so ridiculous
Bossuet: decided to try and trick us all during the register
Bossuet: seemed absolutely DESPERATE to strike us off if we weren’t present
Marius: Oh no, I see where this is going
Marius: Hoorah to my money down the drain
Bossuet: well
Bossuet: u see
Bossuet: he decided to start with the letter P
Bossuet: all was well
Bossuet: the universe was present
Bossuet: and then
Bossuet: an unfortunate soul is called
Bossuet: a Pontmercy
Bossuet: and I think! Fuck this blondeau! Let’s save him! So I did
Marius: You didn’t!
Bossuet: and so being the extremely intelligent person I am
Bossuet: obviously then there was no Pontmercy present to call for me
Bossuet: so um
Bossuet: I have been struck off
Bossuet: but the good news is that you haven’t!
Marius: Oh God
Marius: I’m mortified, Bossuet!
Bossuet: well, firstly, my ask is that if u ever speak of my long lost French course again, u do so only in the context of blondeau being thoroughly dead to you
Bossuet: as he is to me
Marius: um
Marius: Of course
Marius: But that really is not adequate repayment – I’m so sorry!!
Bossuet: just let it be a lesson learned lmao!!
Marius: Please do forgive me!
Bossuet: never ever leave me alone in a chatroom ever again!
Bossuet: nor anyone else who may be so inspired to save u!
Marius: God, I’m so extremely sorry
Bossuet: omg I can’t do this any longer
Bossuet: hahahhaahhahahaha
Marius: ???
Bossuet: ur very funny, Marius
Bossuet: I hope u don’t mind me saying it
Bossuet: but honestly I’m glad to be free of Blondeau
Bossuet: I don’t like following rules and he had so fucking many of them
Bossuet: so rly? I owe u one
Bossuet: im just sad that I now have no way of learning French
Bossuet: I wanted to learn some for musichetta’s birthday so I could introduce myself to her family ☹
Marius: Oh, that’s so sweet
Bossuet: aren’t I!
Marius: Wait!
Marius: I have an idea!
Marius to Courfeyrac 18:56
Marius: Hi Courfeyrac
Courfeyrac: hey there!! Everything ok??
Courfeyrac: insta password is C0urfIsS3xy btw
Marius: Right thank you
Marius: But what I actually wanted to ask was – were you still interested in doing a little bit of French teaching??
Courfeyrac: omg ABSOLUTELY!!!
Marius: Then perhaps you could help me out
Commies and crepes 10:41 (3 weeks later - Saturday)
Courfeyrac: I just heard it’s your birthday, @Musichetta! Have an amazing one!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eponine: aw hope u have a lovely day, chetta
Combeferre: Happy birthday 😊 Are you up to anything nice?
Bahorel: happs bapps gorg
Marius: Happy birthday from me too!
Feuilly: Hope you have a great day @Musichetta!
Enjolras: Happy birthday!
Musichetta: thank u all so much!! <333
Musichetta: @Combeferre I’m spending the day with @Bossuet and @Joly! And then later on we’re just meeting up w some friends for casual drinks
Plans for the birthday girl 20:04
Grantaire: texted chetta this morning and she says shes been having a beautiful day <3
Joly: aaaaaah she so is
Joly: we are having a fab time
Plans for the birthday girl 11:02 (Sunday)
Grantaire: alright
Grantaire: enough playing
Grantaire: so who won
Joly: obvs neither of us won
Grantaire added Musichetta to the chat and shared all chat history
Plans for the birthday girl 11:33
Musichetta: omg!!!
Musichetta: ur all the worst !!
Musichetta: but simultaneously still the best, most thoughtful ppl
Musichetta: not u grantaire, ur an enabler
Grantaire: guilty as charged
Musichetta: im gUESSING I got added to this to judge who won?
Joly: I think so!!!!!!!!!!
Musichetta: bossuet a gagné xxx
Joly: wait I don’t speak French!!!
Bossuet: but I do now!
Bossuet: a little
Bossuet: happy birthday chetta <3
Plans for the birthday girl 14:03
Joly: WAIT
Joly: this means u can help me w the gift buying in the future!!!!
Joly: there is NO EXCUSE now!!!!!!
Bossuet: oh damn ur so right
Bossuet: I played myself by being the cutest!!!
Joly: ur not the cutest xoxox
Grantaire: competition?
Musichetta: boYS PLS NO