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The cabin rocked harshly as the sea churned around them. Stede found himself thrown roughly off of the couch as the Revenge swayed violently in the storm.
“Ed?” He called.
Edward was already up and making his way across the cabin towards the door. He paused, and Stede could he was fighting internally with himself. He sighed and reached his hand down to Stede to pull him up.
“Come on, they’re gonna need us on deck.” He didn’t make eye contact with Stede, and the moment he was on his feet Ed let go of his hand.
Stede knew his most pressing concern should be the storm, knew the ship and his crew was in danger, but he couldn’t help think about the fact that Ed had finally touched him.
Ed’s sea legs were far superior so by the time Stede caught his balance Ed was already out of the room and headed to the deck. Stede’s balance had improved greatly but he still used the furniture and walls to keep upright as he made his way after Ed.
The entire crew was on deck. Izzy was shouting directions, everyone was frantically tying things down, securing the sails, or grasping the ropes to keep themselves steady. Ed joined Izzy and Buttons on the quarter deck, throwing his entire weight onto the wheel to keep the ship steady.
Stede considered following Ed but realized there were enough people shouting directions and he’d be more use on deck. He joined Jim in securing one of the sails, the other gave him an approving nod. Stede held the rope taught so they could tie it off securely.
Stede didn’t see the wave.
Stede didn’t feel his feet swept out from under him. He didn’t see Jim’s hand reach out and try to grab him.
Stede barely understood that he’d been carried overboard by the last wave. He tried in vain to get his bearings and swim against the strong current. The Revenge seemed like it was miles away, each wave tossing him further away or submerging him beneath the raging sea.
Stede tried to call out but water filled his mouth and choked his voice. The sea was too angry. The crew was trying to prevent the ship from sinking. In the back of his mind Stede realized that no one would be able to save him. Each moment he drifted further from the Revenge. The best he could do was keep his head above water long enough to take a breath before the next wave hit him. But he wasn’t ready to give up yet.
Strong arms grabbed him, wrapping a rope around his waist.
“Don’t you dare fucking die,” a thick voice said.
Stede grasped the rope and started pulling himself back toward the ship. They were both hauled onboard, and he felt himself dragged across the deck. His vision started to blur, as the adrenaline wore off his energy quickly faded.
“Captain! Oh my god did you fall overboard? Thank god you’re okay. I don’t think we could handle you dying right.” Lucius’s voice was urgent above him. “Okay we should, uh, probably get you below deck, no offense but you’re not like, really in shape to do anything up here. Also, I don’t really want to be up here, it’s fucking terrifying and I don’t wanna fall overboard again.”
Lucius slung his arm around Stede’s waist and escorted him below. He deposited Stede on the couch in the captains quarters, and wrapped a blanket around him.
“What, what happened?” Stede still felt very groggy and confused. The storm raged on outside and the cabin swayed as the ship tossed about on the waves.
“You, uh, you fell overboard.”
“Right. Got that part.”
“Oh! Right, well, Izzy pulled you out.”
“Izzy? Izzy… Hands?”
Lucius nodded. “Yeah, he grabbed a rope and just kinda dove in after you. At least that’s what it looked like from where I was hiding. It was actually kinda badass. Wild, right? Like I kinda expected him to let you die or something. No offense captain, he just kinda hates you.”
Izzy? Izzy had saved him. Stede thought back to the voice he’d heard, the feel of the person grabbing him in the sea. It had been Izzy. But Lucius’ last point was right — why hadn’t he just let Stede drown?
****
The storm couldn’t go on forever and as the dawn light began to break, the sea finally calmed. Various members of the crew had been sent below to get some sleep, with just Ed, Buttons, Jim, Fang and Ivan on deck.
Stede wandered into the galley and found Izzy leaning against the wall, clutching a mug and keeping his usual brooding glare fixed on a point across the room.
“Lucius told me you -“
“Don’t mention it,” Izzy interrupted sharply. He took a long swig from his mug.
“Of course, I just wanted to say -“
“I didn’t do it for you, you twat.” He glared at Stede. “You weren’t here, you didn’t see how bad he got. And that’s when he thought you just left. Can you even imagine what he’d do if you actually died?” Izzy finally looked at him. “As long as I’m in this fucking ship, don’t you fucking dare die. Because if you do, I will mercy kill Edward.”
He pushed past Stede, leaving the him standing there in shock but also one hundred percent sure that Izzy meant every word.
“Well that was pretty harsh, wasn’t it?”
Ed was leaning in the doorway, one eyebrow raised. Stede smiled at him.
“I didn’t see you fall.” His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. Stede took a tentative step towards him, but Ed held up a hand.
“I was so busy trying not to look at you —. I didn’t see —.”
“It’s alright,” Stede said, matching Ed’s gentle tone. He took another step, not quite closing the gap between them but making it possible for Ed to do with just one more step.
Ed looked down at the floor for a long moment and then finally met Stede’s eyes.
“Can we go back?” he whispered. “Can we just go back to before all this happened, back to the beach?”
Slowly, hardly believing it was real, Stede nodded. He reached out a hand and Ed took it, letting himself be pulled to Stede’s chest. Stede wrapped both his arms around Ed, holding him tightly, praying this was not a dream.
“I didn’t know,” Stede said softly. “I didn’t know I was in love with you.” He felt Ed start to tense. “But if you give me a chance I’ll show you every day and you’ll never doubt it again.” He ran a hand gently through Ed’s long hair. “Please just give me a chance.”
The silence hung between them. Stede barely dared to breathe as he held Ed. What if he said no? What if he —
“Ok.” Ed’s voice was so quiet Stede wondered if he’d imagined it. But Ed’s hands wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer, his neck relaxed as he leaned his head into Stede’s hand.
Slowly, gently, like he was handling a delicate crystal sculpture, he guided Ed out of the galley and back towards their cabin. Ed loosened his grip and let himself be directed, but kept a firm hand on Stede the whole way there.
“What can I do?” Stede asked gently.
Ed titled his head up towards Stede —
A knock on the door broke the spell. Ed jumped back and Stede tried not to show his disappointment on his face.
“Captain?” Oluwande’s voice called. “We’ve got a bit of a situation up here.”
“Can you -“ Ed asked.
“I got it.” Stede reluctantly let go of Ed. He kissed him gently on the forehead and then turned to leave. “I’ll be back in a moment,” he promised.
Ed stayed still for a long moment. He wanted to believe Stede, but his heart hurt so much. He wanted to believe that this time it would be different, but experience had told him that the world was harsh and cruel and people like him didn’t deserve a happy life. His mother’s words echoed in his mind, telling him he didn’t deserve fine things or good people.
But Stede had come back. It was different. He’d come back and no matter how much Ed tried to push him away, he’d stayed. He’d stayed when Ed yelled at him, when he’d ignored him, when he’d insulted him. Despite all that, Stede was still standing there, asking Ed to give him another chance, to prove himself.
Before he could overthink it Ed walked over to the bathroom. He pulled off his gloves and dipped his hands in the bucket of water and splashed it on his face. He took the bar of lavender soap and lathered up his hands. He rubbed the suds onto his cheeks and around his eyes, using his fingers to scrub his skin until it was almost raw. He took a rag and wiped it all clean — peeling back the layers of kohl, dirt and soap.
Finally he dared look in the mirror on the wall. His beard has started to grow back to a handsome stubble. He pulled the front parts of his hair back, braiding it loosely. Ed dared to look mirror one last time. He wasn’t Blackbeard, he wasn’t the clean shaven romantic who stole a dingy and sat on the dock until sunrise, he was … well, he wasn’t sure yet, but he’d figure it out. And there was someone he wanted to figure it out with.
Building his confidence he headed back through the cabin. He tossed his gloves into the table and looked around one last time. A pang of guilt rushed through him as he remembered trashing this place; he missed all the nick nacks and books and colorful tapestries that Stede had once had here. He could fix this — raid a few merchant ships and they’d have all the decor they wanted to bring color and life back into the room. Stede had asked him for another chance but perhaps Edward needed one too.
He strode onto the main deck and looked around. Wee Jon and Frenchie had a pile of fabric and were mending the sails that had been damaged in the storm. Lucius was attempting to look busy but seemed to just be carrying the same (empty?) small barrel to different parts of the deck. Jim and the Swede seemed to be arguing about something, hopefully the Swede wouldn’t test his luck.
On the quarterdeck was Stede, chatting with Buttons and Izzy, looking through his spyglass towards the east. He looked like a captain: his posture was tall and confident, his legs swayed gently to compensate for the ships rocking, his hair was wind blown and his shirt hung open slightly.
Fuck. Edward loved this idiot so much.
Ed took the stairs two at a time and pulled the telescope away from Stede’s eyes.
“What -? Ed, you -“ Stede sputtered, startled.
Edward didn’t let him finish. He pulled Stede close to him with one hand and tenderly laid the other on his cheek. He felt Stede’s breath quicken as he kissed him.
Neither of them heard the confused comments and tentative cheers from the crew below. Stede wrapped both his arms around Edward and if was possible pulled him even closer as he deepened the kiss. (Stede could have sworn he heard Izzy say “I shoulda let you drown.”) Absently Ed wished he’d waited to do this until they were alone in their cabin so he could pull off all of Stede’s clothes and let his hands wander across every glorious inch of his body.
Suddenly aware that everyone was staring at them, they both pulled back, but Stede slipped his hand into Ed’s.
Edward smiled sheepishly at him. “Can we go back to our room?” he whispered.
“As much as I’d like to,” Stede said. “We’ve got a bit of a problem.” He held up the spyglass and pointed to the east. “Not sure exactly who, although Buttons thinks it’s a French navy vessel.”
Edward looked through the spyglass. The ship was still quite distant but Buttons had not been wrong yet.
“We need a plan, boss,” Izzy said. “And we need it now.”
“You said you wanted it to be like old times,” Stede said. “Got any ideas?”
Edward looked at the ships on the horizon, down to the deck of the ship where the Revenge crew was working hard, and finally back up at Stede. He smiled. “Oh yeah, we’re gonna be just fine.”