Chapter Text
He should have never should have done the mission. Maybe if he didn’t, he wouldn’t even be dying here, in the middle of the forest, bleeding from a stomach wound, alone.
The Hardeen mission ruined his life, he lost touch with everyone he loved and everyone who loved him. Anakin had clearly stated, or yelled, that he didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, Ahsoka didn’t even speak to him, Cody and the 212th were acting like he was any other General, Bail wasn’t answering his comms, and Satine was furious, stating that she wanted nothing to do with him.
So that only left him, alone and depressed. It’s not like he had a choice in the matter, the Chancellor selected him, and he couldn’t say no to him. He wanted to explain to them, but he couldn’t get past saying “I’m sorry”, they never listened past that anyway.
When the Council assigned him a solo mission, he was happy, it would be a break from all the scolding, the insults, the glares, the muttering, and the shouting. He didn’t know that this was going to be his last mission, but any mission could have been really. He just never knew a simple ship crash would be the one to kill him. He always thought that he would go down fighting a Sith, or protecting his men, he never thought it would be a fatal crash. He just wishes he could make it up to his loved ones, but he can’t.
It’s too late now, he’s bleeding so much, he knows he’s not going to make it. He’s never going to get to tell Anakin that he’s proud of him and that he loved him, that he was his brother, he just never admitted it because it was un-Jedi like, but he was wrong.
He’s never going to get to tell Ahsoka that he’s proud of her as his Grandpadawan and that she has grown so much to be a wonderful and amazing young woman and that he loves her dearly as if she was his own. He’ll never get to see her knighting either.
He’s never going to get to joke with his men or share funny stories at night to distract them from the oncoming battle tomorrow. He’ll never get to see the day that the Republic when and they are set free, that they are able to be more than just clones, they’re able to be men like he always viewed them as such.
He’s never going to get to tell Bail he was an amazing friend and he misjudged Senators greatly. He’s never going to thank him for helping him after Zigoola or for the weird yet funny dinners he invites him too.
He’ll never get to thank Master Che for everything she has done for him. For being his mother and staying with him when he had his visions as a youngling, when his Padawan years went downhill, when his Master died, when he came back from Jabiim, and when he was thrown into this Force forsaken war. She was always there, comforting him and loving him, as a mother would do to her child.
And what pains him the most is that he’s never going to see Satine again. He’s never going to be able to ask her to leave with him or tell her that he loves her. He’ll never get to grow old with her and just hold her while they watch the sunset. They’ll never get to settle like they always planned they would after the war.
It’s all gone now; he won’t even get to say goodbye. He sent out a comm to the jedi, but they’ll be too late to save him, he can feel himself drifting off now, the Force is calling. And he’s scared. He knew he would probably die in the war, but he always imagined one of his men would be with him or his Padawans. But here he is, sprawled out in the grass, leaning on a tree, alone. No one to tell him “It’s going to be okay”, “I’ll be here till the end”, or “it’s alright, you can rest now”. No one to comfort him as he takes his last breaths.
He’s scared and that’s the only thing he can think of as he slowly loses consciousness, he doesn’t want to be alone right now as he leaves this Galaxy, but the Force ignores his wishes and instead weeps. He can feel it’s warm embrace, and its sorrow as he starts to drift off into the unknown.
He takes one last shuddering breath and stills. The Force welcomes him into it’s warm embrace, bringing its son home.