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"I see the ship!" Louis cried excitedly, pointing to the Revenge . "They're already here!"
"I know," Doug grinned. "Your father is always punctual."
"Make sure to get the presents we brought for everyone," Mum told Doug. "The rest of the bags will brought to-"
“Our bags go to Dad’s ship!” Alma exclaimed. “You said Louis and I could stay on the ship!”
Louis nodded several times. “Yeah!”
Mum took a deep breath. “I remember, loves. You two will get to spend the night on the ship and Doug and I will be at the inn.”
Satisfied her mother didn’t forget her promise, Alma grabbed her wooden sword, getting in a few last practice swings before their own boat got to the docks. Mum gave her the same look she always did when Alma had sword fights with Dad in the house. "Alma, dear, do you really need to bring that?"
" Yes! " Alma insisted. "I gotta practice with Ed!" She left out the part where the last time they'd visited, Ed had told her if she got good enough, he'd show her how to use a real sword. She wanted to prove to him she was ready.
"I know, but you don't have to do it as soon as we get there," Mum said.
"A pirate must always be at the ready!"
"Yeah!" Louis crowed again, plunking a black hat on his head; it was the one with the skull and crossbones Frenchie had made him.
Alma and Louis bounced on their toes as they got closer to the docks. Because Dad was dead back home and a pirate, they had to go to other places to visit him so Mum's friend with the eye patch let them use her small ship.
Dad and Ed weren't there when they got off the ship, so Mum said they should start walking back to the Revenge . Mum walked ahead followed by Doug and Louis; Alma trailed a little behind keeping her eyes peeled with all of the people around them.
They walked for a bit before Alma heard, "Hello, all!" She looked to see Dad and Ed not far from them, and Dad was waving.
Smiling happily, Mum held her arms to hug Dad, and he did the same thing. Ed, though, crouched down and pulled out the matching wooden sword. Alma narrowed her eyes in determination and bolted past Doug and Louis. As soon as she was within a couple of steps of Ed, he parried her swing and they started their fight.
She was doing pretty good, keeping Ed from making any kind of offensive moves, right up until the moment she heard Dad say, “Hello, sweetheart.” Alma looked briefly at him, and that’s when Ed managed to swing his blade hard enough at her sword that she dropped it. Ed held the point of the sword to her nose.
“Awwww, Dad,” Alma groaned. “I almost had ‘im!”
Ed laughed. She really liked his laugh because it was happy and warm. “Don’t worry, Stedeling. You’re still doing much better than your father when I first taught him. You haven’t even cut yourself yet.”
“Hey!” Dad and Alma protested at the same time.
Dad had his hands on his hips. “I have not cut myself in a long time!”
“And I am not a Stedeling!” Alma huffed, stomping her foot.
That caused all of the grown-ups to laugh.
“Oh you so are Stedeling,” Ed smirked standing up. “You have inherited a great deal of your father’s dramatics.” Which made Dad roll his eyes and Mum cough into her hand, but it definitely sounded like she laughed.
And just because of that, Alma hugged her father first. Dad wrapped her up tight, plunking a kiss on the top of her head that made her feel all warm inside. “It’s so good to see you,” he said happily.
When she turned to Ed, Alma noticed his sword was on the ground so she saw her opportunity to stab him on the right side. However he side-stepped her lunge at the last minute and took the ‘stab’ on the left side of his stomach.
“Augh!” Alma exclaimed in frustration. She was going to have to ask Jim for help later. Then she’d finally get Ed.
“I’m always on my toes…Stedeling,” Ed winked and Alma rolled her eyes. He peered around Alma to speak to Louis. “And how are you, lad?”
Louis was still hanging on to Doug’s pant leg, but came trotting over and crashed into Ed’s waist so hard, it knocked Ed back a little. “Missed you both,” Louis said, looking up at Ed.
Ed was quiet and when Louis pulled back, Ed’s throat was moving funny like he was trying to figure out what to say . “W-we miss-missed you two as well,” he eventually mumbled. Louis gave him a big toothy grin before he went over to Dad.
Alma didn’t know why, but Ed looked a little…lost, even when Mum and Doug hugged him too. But then he quickly put a smile that didn’t go to his eyes. Maybe Ed wasn’t feeling well. She hoped he would feel better because she really wanted to spend time on the ship with him and Dad.
“You two must be curious about the port!” Dad said to Mum and Doug. “How about Ed show you around and I’ll take the children for a bit. Catch up with them.”
Mum gave Dad a funny look. “Stede, we’ve been to Tortuga before. We don’t need a tour.”
Ed just chuckled. “Mate, if you wanted to have a super secret meeting with the Spawns, all you had to do was say so.”
Dad sputtered. “I-that is-I just-can’t belie-I’m just-I was just making a suggestion! Mary and Doug could see the sites and who a better tour guide than yourself!”
“Is there something special about the port?” Doug asked. He wasn’t used to Dad being weird so he was being extra polite.
“No, Stede just thinks he’s being cagey,” Ed grinned. “Have your super secret meeting with the kids, see if we care.”
They walked with Dad along the docks as he asked them about school and how things at home were going. Eventually Dad bought them some food from one of the vendors. Dad sat between them on a bench while she and Louis ate.
“So…” Dad began, rubbing his hands nervously on his thighs.. “You two like Ed, correct?”
“Yeah,” Alma replied and Louis nodded at the same time. “He’s really fun.”
“I like his leather coat,” Louis added.
Dad smirked. “He does have impeccable taste in clothes. And he likes you two as well.”
Why Dad wanted to state the obvious, Alma didn’t know, but whatever. Her father was always strange.
“That being said,” he went on. “What would you guys think if I asked him to marry me?”
Louis scrunched his face up in confusion. “I thought you were married. You guys make the same big goo-goo eyes at each other all the time.”
“Goo-goo eyes? Where did you hear that term?”
“Lucius,” Alma and Louis replied at the same time.
Huffing, Dad rolled his eyes. “Of course,” he muttered. The louder, he said, “Be that as it may, Ed and I are not married.”
“But pirates can get married?” Alma asked.
Dad nodded with a big smile. “We sure can. It’s called matelotage. We promise to fight alongside each other, protect each other, and act in the other’s interest.”
“But don’t you guys do that now?” Alma wondered.
Dad smiled even more. “We do. But this would make it more official.” After a moment, he asked, almost nervously, “So would that be all right?”
Alma liked Ed a lot and he didn’t think Dad was weird (even though Dad totally was a weirdo). And Dad was extra happy with Ed like Mum was with Doug. She had classmates whose mum or dad died for real, and their step-parents were not nice at all. But Ed had never yelled at or ever hurt her and Louis.
“Yup!” Louis chirped before concentrating on his food again.
“Yeah,” Alma agreed.
Dad put an arm around her and the other around Louis and them both to his sides. “Thank you. Your blessings mean a lot.”
Then Alma’s eyes got big. “We get to come to the wedding right?” She didn’t know anything about pirate weddings, but those had to be better than the boring, long weddings back home.
“I haven’t asked Ed yet, but as long as he says yes, of course!”
Alma snorted. Like Ed was going to say no to marrying Dad.
The three of them walked back to the ship with Dad being extra bubbly and happy. Mum and Doug and Ed were already standing by the ramp that led to the Revenge .
“Did you guys have fun in your super secret meeting?” Ed asked with a big smirk.
Louis shrugged. “Dad just asked if-” But Dad covered Louis’s mouth.
Dad’s eyes were really big. “I just asked how school is going. Reading, writing, arithmetic. You know that sort of thing.”
Before anyone could ask about that boring stuff, Alma cut in with, “Is the crew back? Can we give them their presents?”
“Yes! Yes they are! Everyone is up there.” Dad replied and Alma and Louis went racing up the gangplank. When they got to the deck, Alma and Louis were immediately greeted happily by everyone.
“Ahoy, little sailor!” Wee John picked up Louis, and her brother giggled helplessly.
Frenchie went for a more formal greeting. “Hello, little girl,” he said, all posh and fancy. He bowed and Alma curtsied before rushing to him for a hug.
Lucius had his hands on his cheeks, pretending to be scared. “Oh no! We’ve been invaded by gremlins!”
“Hey! We are not gremlins!” Alma protested, even though she was smiling. Lucius was always so silly.
“That’s right!” Ed called. “They’re Stedelings!”
“No we’re not!”
Lucius chuckled and he gave her a big hug.
When Mum and Doug came aboard, the crew greeted them just as enthusiastically with lots of hugs and smiles. Doug nearly fell down when Wee John playfully smacked him on the shoulder.
“How goes the painting?” Oluwande asked Mum.
Before she could answer, Doug cut in. “Her paintings have been selling out at every show.”
Mum’s face turned pink and she got flustered. “Yes…it’s been going very well. And with the extra money, we brought everyone a gift. The kids helped pick them out.”
“Mary, Doug” Dad said. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes they did!” Black Pete yelled.
“Can we give ‘em to everyone now?” Louis asked. Nodding, Doug opened up the sack he’d been carrying and Alma went to start pulling things out. Louis wriggled and Wee John put him on the ground. “I wanna help! I picked some of ‘em too!”
Fang got a new smoking pipe and Ivan a new leather pouch for smaller treasures. Black Pete was really excited about the new whittling tools.
“Look at this blanket!” Wee John exclaimed, holding out the pretty quilt Mum had one of her friends make for him. “It’s big enough for a king!”
“A mighty fine set o’ charms,” Mister Buttons said about the bracelet with the little anchor, steering wheel, and other assorted charms they’d chosen for him. “This will ensure us fine salin’” Livy squawked her thanks over the bag of seagull food she received.
The Swede’s face turned bright red as Louis gave him a detailed map of Sweden. Louis was extra proud when he found that in a bookstore.
Roach’s eyes lit up over the new cooking knives in a fancy leather roll. She and Louis also handed him a couple of glass bottles of spices. “So you can make cake!” Louis excitedly whispered.
“It’ll just be for the three of us,” Roach winked and two of them giggled.
Jim barely had their present hand when Alma burst out with, “It’s a sheath for a dagger, but it ties around your ankle!”
“Yes, Alma was especially excited when she found out the leather maker could make that,” Doug chuckled.
Oluwande snorted. “That’s a little scary that she specifically wanted that made for Jim.”
“It is not,” Jim said after immediately tying it around their ankle. “It means she’s paying attention.” They winked. “ Gracias. ”
Alma was very proud when remembered, “ De nada. ”
Oluwande started prancing around the deck in his new shoes. “These fit perfectly!”
“Same as my jacket!” Frenchie exclaimed. Doug had run across a really soft maroon fabric and everyone agreed it would make the perfect coat for Frenchie.
Lucius was especially pleased with his new sketchbook and set of black pencils. Alma was asking him about drawing stuff for her while they were out to sea when someone on deck came near them.
“Fucking hell.”
Gasping dramatically, Lucius covered Alma’s eyes. “Such language! Young ears don’t need to hear that.” She giggled at Lucius’s silliness.
It was Mister Izzy. He was always grouchy for some reason.
“Kids don’t belong on a pirate ship,” Mister Izzy growled.
Alma felt a little hot at his words, but Dad and Ed were the captains and they said she and Louis could be on the ship. Lucius just gave Mister Izzy a smile that Mum would describe as ‘bitchy.’ “Neither do grumpy-ass bastards, but here we are.”
Mister Izzy’s lip curled, but before he could say anything, Mum walked over. “Mister Hands! How are you?”
He gritted his teeth really hard. “Fine.”
Mum smiled her extra polite smile. “I hope you didn’t think we forgot you.” She held out a pretty silver chain. “It’s for the ring you wear on your neck. We found this at a shop in town.”
“The shop keeper said it wouldn’t break,” Alma explained, with Lucius’s hands sitting on her shoulders. “So you can put your ring on it and no one would be able to yank it off of you.”
Mum placed the chain in Mister Izzy’s hand and he ran his thumb over it. With a big breath, Mister Izzy swallowed heavily and was very quiet.
“This is the part where you say thank you,” Lucius prompted.
Standing up straighter, Mister Izzy’s lips twitched a bunch of times as gripped the chain tightly. “Thank you,” he muttered before striding away.
Mum and Lucius giggled at each other. “I don’t think he knows what to do when people are kind to him,” Lucius told Mum.
She just shrugged. “Kill ‘em with kindness, I say.”
Alma thought she heard him mutter, “If only we could kill him.”
“What?” she asked.
“What?!” Lucius parroted back, patting her shoulders before leading her away. “Let me sketch some stuff so I can show your mother I’m better than her.”
Mum raised her eyebrow, but she was still smiling. “I heard that!”
“I meant you to!”
Dinner on the Revenge was always fun. Everyone sat together on the deck. Oluwande and Wee John had set up a couple of long wooden boards over some barrels for a table. Another thing was there weren't a bunch of dumb silverware to remember; just a plate, fork, knife, and a metal cup.
Dad and Ed sat at the head of the table while Alma and Louis sat on either side of them. Roach had made a yummy smelling stew and everyone was passing around food, talking and laughing. Ed tried to reach for the plate of rolls, but ended up knocking his cup of wine over into his lap.
“Aw…fu-f-f-fiddlesticks,” Ed growled. Dad had asked Ed and the crew to try to not curse in front of Alma and Louis as much (Mister Izzy apparently chose not to listen to that). But it was still really funny to hear Ed say ‘fiddlesticks.’
“I’m a clumsy oaf,” he muttered, cleaning off his lap with a cloth napkin. “Can’t take me anywhere.”
“It’s okay,” Louis chirped. “Dad still wants to marry you anyway.”
It was strange how fast everyone got really, really quiet…and also how quick Dad’s face turned bright red.
“ Lou-is ,” Alma hissed to him. “You weren’t supposed to say anything!” Seriously why were little brothers so dumb?
Dad laughed nervously, and then said through his teeth, “I hadn’t asked him yet.”
Louis’s eyes got really big. “Oops.”
Ed’s voice was really quiet. “Stede…is that true?"
Dad opened and closed his mouth a bunch of times like a fish, while he wrung his hands. “Yes,” he squeaked. “I may have…mentioned it… to the kids…because I wanted to make sure they were okay with it.”
Alma rolled her eyes. “Duh. Of course we’re okay with it.”
“Well, I-I uh…” Dad’s throat moved a bunch of times. “I…also hadn’t had a chance to…discuss things with Mary and Doug…"
Mum smirked, but not in a mean way. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Stede, but there’s no need for that. You know we adore Ed and would absolutely support this.”
Doug nodded in agreement. “It’s true.”
Dad’s eyes got all crinkly and happy, but Ed had looked away for a moment. Just as Ed started to open his mouth, Black Pete cried, “And you weren’t going to ask us what we thought?!”
Mister Buttons scoffed. “He be the cap’n. He needn’t your permission.”
“I know that ,” Black Pete shot back. “But we could have helped with the proposal.”
Frenchie scoffed. “Like you know anything about romance.”
“Yeah,” Oluwande agreed. “You would suggest some public spectacle with fireworks and cannons. Proposals should be private and intimate.”
The Swede raised his hand. “I would like a public proposal.”
“Not me,” Wee John shook his head. “What if the person you’re proposing to says no in front of everyone?”
The conversation turned into everyone’s opinions on how to propose. Alma looked around the table. Jim plunked their head on top of their folded hands on the table. Izzy’s face was turning a pretty shade of purple. Doug looked super confused like Alma did when the teacher was trying to explain multiplication tables. Mum and Lucius were looking away from each other, their shoulders shaking very hard. It was like when Alma and her friend were in school and tried not to laugh in class.
Slamming his hand on the table, Ed yelled, “Will you fuckers shut the hell up?!” Everyone immediately got quiet. Then he looked at Dad and Mum, and said, “Sorry.” She held up a hand in forgiveness.
Ed visibly swallowed and then looked at Dad. “Ask me.”
Dad blinked. “Huh?”
“Ask me,” Ed repeated.
“Oh um, see I had a whole plan with dinner and wine and the ring-”
“Ask him!” Everyone said at almost the same time, including Alma. Why were dads so dumb as well? Was it a boy thing?
Dad coughed. “I-I was going-I wanted to-” He cleared his throat and stood up straighter. “Yes, um, okay!” He took a big shaky breath, like before jumping in the water. “Edward, would you do the great hon-”
But whatever else Dad was going to say got cut off when Ed jumped to his feet and kissed him. Everyone started clapping and whistling. When they finally broke apart, Dad looked like he was dizzy. “Does that mean ‘yes’?”
Ed laughed loudly. “Stede! Of course I’ll fucking marry you!”
Louis stuck his tongue out at Alma. “See?! I didn’t ruin anything!” When Dad and Ed broke apart, Louis got up and hugged Ed around the waist. “Now you’re our dad too!”
Dad had tears in his eyes at what Louis said. Then it got even worse when Mum threw her arms around Dad before she hugged Ed. Honestly it was nice to see Dad with a huge smile. When he was at home, he never smiled like this.
But now Dad had a whole crew of really awesome people who liked him and Ed looked at him with the big goo-goo eyes (like he was now, but now the goo-goo eyes were even bigger).
Frenchie slung his arm around Alma. “Well, kiddo, you are officially family.
She smacked a kiss on his cheek. “You too.”
After dinner, Mum and Doug said they were tired so Jim offered to walk them back to the inn. While the three of them were gone, everyone started to pull out their rolls and pillows so they could sleep on the deck after Dad read them a bedtime story. Doug was at home sometimes to read her and Louis stories, but he didn’t do the voices. Dad was still the best bedtime story reader.
After Alma changed into her nightgown, she went back up to the deck where everyone was already ready for bed. Ed was already stretched out next to the barrel where Dad usually sat. He was wearing one of Dad’s pretty colored robes. Looking up at her, he smiled. “You want to sit next to me, Stedeling?”
Alma just plopped into his lap. He gave a huge “oof!” and she giggled. Leaning her head back against his chest, she looked at Ed upside down. “Ed?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad you’re going to marry Dad.”
Even though his breath went all funny, Ed’s eyes were still warm. But he looked away when they heard Dad’s voice call out from behind them. “Okay everyone! I have tonight’s story!” He smiled down at her and Ed and then looked around the deck. “Where’s Louis?”
Alma remembered Louis came up to the deck before her, but before anyone could answer, Louis’s voice rang out, “C’mon! We can’t miss story time!”
He was dragging Mister Izzy by the hand….and Mister Izzy was following him? Everyone’s mouths were hanging open when Louis pointed to an empty spot next to Lucius, Fang, and Black Pete. Louis plopped down and tugged on Mister Izzy’s arm. “You can sit next to me!”
Usually the crew was lively and always talking. Now there wasn’t so much as a peep out of anyone. Even Dad’s face was frozen in shock.
“Not a fucking word out of any of you,” Mister Izzy snarled under his breath.
“C’mon, little one. It’s time for bed.”
Alma whined, rubbing her fuzzy eyes. “‘M not tired.”
Ed picked her up and her head immediately fell heavily on his shoulder. “I think you are a little bit. Besides, your dad finished reading and it’s time for bed.”
She wanted to stay up longer, but her eyes felt so heavy and Ed’s voice was warm and deep and sounded really nice.
Alma felt Ed start to move towards the captains’ cabin, but stopped when Mister Izzy’s raspy voice said his name.
“Ship is secure, boss. Ivan and I are taking the night watch.”
“We’re in port.”
“I know.”
“Is it really necessary?”
“I’m not taking any chances.”
“Why?”
There was a long moment of silence and Ed’s other hand came over Alma’s back. “The Stedelings? Oh Izzy, if I didn’t know any better-”
“But you do, so you won’t say it.” Mister Izzy’s voice sounded like when Mum warned Alma and Louis to stay out of the pantry.
“Okay,” Ed sounded like he was trying not to laugh. “Good night, Iz.”
“Good night,” Mister Izzy replied. “Oh and Edward?”
Ed waited, and there was a long moment of silence before Mister Izzy muttered, “Congratulations.”
As Ed turned around, Alma peeled her eyes open and waved to Mister Izzy. The corner of his mouth lifted and he winked at her.
Ed carried her back to the captain’s quarters where it was already dark except a couple of candles. It was harder and harder to keep her eyes open. She did see Dad tucking Louis into the big bed by the window.
As Ed set her in bed, next to Louis, Dad kissed Alma’s forehead. “Good night, sweet girl.”
“Night, Dad.”
Then he quietly said to Ed, “I’m going to set up the sofa for us.”
Snuggling down in the comfy blankets, Alma felt Ed brush her hair back from her face. “Good night, Stedeling.”
“Night, Ed,” she breathed. “Love you.”
Well… shit .
Ever since they’d met, Ed’s brain had talked him into Louis and Alma and Mary and Doug just being polite to him. That passive aggression thing from those fancy French bastards. But, fuck they seemed to genuinely like him. Mary and Doug gave their blessing to Ed and Stede without thinking twice. Louis genuinely missed him and said he was happy Ed was going to their dad too .
Alma said she loved Ed.
And to top it off, he was engaged to the blonde man fussing over the fluffing pillows on the couch.
If someone had told Ed this would be life before meeting the Gentleman Pirate, he would have laughed in their face before skinning them with one of those itty bitty forks.
Ed wandered over to the sofa where Stede finally stood up from draping a blanket over the cushions. “My dearest, I am sorry about that we cannot celebrate our-”
Whatever else Stede was going to say was swallowed up when Ed grabbed his face and kissed him oh so deeply and thoroughly. When Ed let him go, Stede’s breathing was uneven and his cheeks were flushed.
“What were we talking about?” Stede squeaked.
“It’s fine,” Ed chuckled, cocking his head toward the window nook. “Though when your spawns leave, the crew is getting kicked off the ship for a solid twenty-four hours.”
Stede kissed his nose. “Forty-eight hours.”
The sofa wasn’t really made for two sleeping occupants, but Stede was smart enough not to suggest they sleep on separate couches as he gestured for Ed to lay down first. As soon as Stede joined him, Ed wrapped his limbs around him like a possessive octopus. Settling his head on Stede’s chest, Ed sighed happily.
“In the meantime,” Stede whispered excitedly. “We can start planning the ceremony!”
Ed sighed for a whole ‘nother reason. “We’ve got plenty of time.” Then he nuzzled into Stede’s throat. “We should at least decide on a date so we can tell Mary and Doug and the spawns before they leave.”
“Good idea.”
“Yeah, all of our family should be there.”