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6 months and 14 days, that's how long it had been since the Snow Ball. 6 months and 14 days and somehow everything had changed. Yet, somehow that wasn't true either because nothing had changed- not for Will. No matter how badly Will wanted things to change, how badly he wanted to change, nothing inside of him seemed to. He should have seen this coming. From the moment that Eleven walked through the door and Mike had introduced them, Will could see something in Mike's eyes. Maybe it's because El had saved the world rather than just getting possessed and putting them all in danger. Maybe that's why Mike barely looked Will in the eye anymore- maybe Mike blamed Will for everything. After all, Will getting sucked into the Upside Down had started this whole thing.
Eleven was strong, she wasn't hurt by the demogorgons. She took them on by herself, she protected herself and her friends- but Will? Will had gotten on his bike to go home a year and 6 months ago and had been pulled into the Upside Down. He wasn't as strong as El, he wasn't even sure if he was strong at all. Eleven had saved the world and Will couldn't even fight the mindflayer in his head. Eleven had sacrificed herself and Will couldn't even stop the mindflayer from taking over him.
No wonder Mike loved El. She was everything he could never be. And as much as Will wanted to resent El for it, he never could. Never, she was a kid too, she had saved his life, his mother told him. She was scared too but she did what it took to save Will and that meant that Will owed more to El than to hate her for making Mike fall in love with her. Will wished he could love someone else. Literally anyone else- the girl he had danced with at the Snowball (he didn't even remember her name) had asked him to call her but he didn't. He didn't love her and he had enough friends. There was something about the idea of making friends with someone who could have liked him in a way that he could never like them back made him feel uneasy, like he could have been leading them on even though that was ridiculous.
Now, it was summer, the end on June actually, and Will was looking forward to sitting around in Mike's basement with his friends playing DnD all day. Instead, they had played DnD exactly once, during the first week of summer vacation, and even then, they had been interrupted by a phone call that had pulled Mike away and then he had just never come back. A phone call from Eleven probably asking him to go over so she could kiss him again. At least they didn't kiss that much in front of Will. It was hard enough being in love with your best friend, never being able to tell him, and have him love another girl without having to watch them make-out constantly.
Every time Will had called, wither Mr. or Mrs. Wheeler had picked up informing Will that Mike wasn't 'home at the moment and they had no idea when he would be back.'
Dustin was away at whatever camp he was at. Ok, that wasn't fair, Will knew exactly what camp Dustin had gone to. Dustin had explained it to them with such a huge grin on his face that even though Will was sad because he was going to loose his friend for four weeks, he knew that Dustin would be having a great time. Will obviously couldn't bring Dustin down with his own feelings of resentment towards not being able to spend that summer with one of his closest friends. Plus, they would have all of July, most of August, and then all the months to come (if the mindflayer didn't come back first).
It also wasn't Dustin's fault that Mike didn't want to talk to Will anymore. It wasn't anyone's fault really. Maybe it was El's, or maybe it was his own fault. That thought crossed his mind an alarming amount of times and each time it did, it cartwheeled across his thoughts, or just sat there gripping as tightly as it could, making him panicked about what he could have possibly done to get Mike Wheeler to act like they weren't even friends anymore.
6 months and 16 days ago, Will had told Mike that he thought he was going crazy. Mike had replied "we'll go crazy together."
How could they possibly go from that to whatever this was? How could Mike go from "Where's Will? Will needs me!" to not even remembering his existence anymore? How could Will go from being MIke's best friend to someone who was just there, someone who just existed because Mike couldn't bring it up to make him go away. That's what Will felt like these days, just a fly on the wall watching his best friend, (or sorry, El's boyfriend which is how Mike seemed to define himself nowadays) moving on, growing up and away from Will. He felt like he didn't matter, like Mike might even be happier without him around.
If he were any stronger, he would let Mike find out if that was true on not. If Will was any stronger, he would stay away from Mike. He would allow Mike to realize that he either needed Will to 'go crazy together,' or, he didn't need Will- not anymore, not now that he had El to love him. And if Mike realized he didn't need Will anymore, then maybe Will could save himself a lot of heartbreak by leaving right now. It would be less cruel to himself than watching them slowly fall apart in slow motion. Anything would be better than watching them fall apart, like he was watching them from the outside,- like he wasn't one of the people who was a part of what once used to be "Will and Mike."
But he wasn't strong. He wasn't strong enough to fight the mindflayer when it used him as a spy. He had to rely on his mother and brother to get the piece of the mindflayer out of him. He had to rely on his mom, Hopper, and Mike, to get him out of the Upside Down. Now, he was relying on Mike again to tell him whether he wanted out of their friendship or not. Somehow, he still wasn't strong enough to distance himself from Mike. It was absolutely awful, but the cold, hard truth was that Will wasn't strong enough to find out that Mike didn't need him anymore. He wasn't strong enough to distance himself from Mike because what if Mike really didn't need him anymore? Then what was he supposed to do? There would be no 'in' again, and he would have lost Mike forever and he wasn't strong enough to come face-to-face with that truth.
So instead of even allowing a scenario where that could happen, he clung onto Mike even tighter than before. It might have been out of fear or desperation, but unless Mike told Will to 'get lost,' Will wasn't ready to do just that.
Deep down, he knew that Mike didn't care about him, at least not in the way that Will needed him to, not in the way that Mike cared about El. El had done nothing wrong, if anything, she had done everything right, she was the only person who even came close to understanding what Will had been through, and realistically, they should have been great friends. Instead, Will harbored deep feelings of resentment. It wasn't fair, but then again none of it was fair. Life wasn't fair. Will had been proved that time and time again and yet, hits just kept coming. Will hated himself for it, but sometimes, he wished that Eleven had never shown up again. It wasn't fair, he would have been dead if it weren't for her. They all would have been dead if it weren't for Eleven. Just because she got Mike, just because he chose her, didn't mean Will could think these things. Not ever, especially not about El.
All Will wanted was for Mike to look at him the same way Will thought he looked at El. All Will wanted was for things to go back to the way it was- to sleepovers, and laughing by the pool, and reassurances that they would always be there for the other. But most of all Will wanted Mike back, he wanted Mike to pay attention to him, acknowledge him, tell him that everything he was feeling was ridiculous and that Mike did love Will- of course he did, how could Will even think any different?
He disguised it in wanting to play DnD in Mike's basement just like before. He pretended that that's all he missed, playing some stupid game where Mike at least looked at him for more than five minutes in a row. He pretended to care about the campaign, and everything that his character went through in the game. But really, he just wanted Mike back. He just wanted his best friend back, but with every day that went on, that was seeming less and less likely.
If Will were any stronger, he would have stopped their friendship right there. If Will were any stronger, he would get out before giving Mike any more chances to hurt his feelings. If Will were any stronger, he wouldn't care whether or not Mike needed him. But he wasn't strong before, and he wasn't strong now. He would do anything to keep Mike looking at him, but it seemed that it may not be possible anymore.
As time went on, as summer went on, Will was starting to realize that love was not inevitable, and Mike didn't love him. Maybe not even as a friend anymore. As July closed in, Will was starting to think that it would never go back to the way it was. Mike had El now, he didn't need Will anymore. Mike could go crazy with El, or even better, they could stay completely sane together. Why would Mike need Will out of all people when he had a superhero? Why would he ever choose Mike when he had someone who could save the world over and over again? How could Will Byers ever compare to anyone, much less the girl who had sacrificed herself for them? He was after all, Will. Just Will, he wasn't even strong enough to stand up, how could he walk away?