Chapter Text
Punz was eight years old when his brothers were born.
While annoying at first (especially Tommy, who cried louder and more frequently than Purpled), the two quickly became the center of his whole world. He loved the two golden haired babies who stared at him like he was their whole world. And maybe it was just his eight year old brain overthinking things, but he felt like they were his as well.
At age nine, soon after the boys’ first birthday, Tommy said his first word.
It was Punz. His first word was his big brother’s name.
Punz watched all of his brothers’ firsts. First steps, first favorites, first haircuts.
And age 12, he witnessed their first loss.
He wasn’t home at the time, None of them were, thankfully. He was picking up Tommy and Purpled from daycare after school when the police met him there.
An accident on the highway. A hit and run.
Punz was 12 when he has to tell his four year old brothers that their parents weren’t coming home. Holding the two sobbing children in his arms, he followed the police back to his house. To pack up his things and to say goodbye.
One of the disadvantages to being the kids of parents with no siblings and no known cousins was that the only choice left was group homes. Which weren’t… so bad for what they were.
(That was a lie. The group home was garbage, and nearly everybody sucked. But Punz needed to keep a straight face for his brothers, He’d do anything for his brothers.)
Punz’s thirteenth birthday was when everything came crashing down.
The foster homes just weren’t interested in a teenager. Too much baggage in their eyes. Too much work to take in a young teenager who was scared and confused. But Tommy and Purpled? Two small kids who seemed to be on their best behavior?
He barely had the time to give a proper goodbye the day they were taken from him, crying and screaming, The twins were coddled. Punz was told to grow up and was sent back to his bedroom in the group home.
Everything felt empty without his brothers. Punz didn’t care about anything going on around him. The only reason he would get out of bed was to avoid being yelled at by the people in charge.
Sitting on his bed, clutching the necklace in his hands tightly as if praying with a rosary, Punz would stare out the window. He would never let any of the others know about the necklace. Too many thieves. Too many liars. And it was the last he had of his family, a gift from his parents he got when his brothers were born. He liked the rainy days. At least he had an excuse to not be bothered into going outside.
As one of the oldest, Punz only shared his room with two other people. A guy by the name of Boomer, and a girl by the name of Hannah. Apparently they were siblings or something. Punz often questioned the group home’s intelligence for putting a teenage girl in the same room as teenage boys, but he never cared enough to say it out loud.
Not that it truly mattered. Boomer was her brother. And Punz? He didn’t really feel things for people that way. Boomer had brought up the question one night while it was just the two of them in the room, Hannah being told to help clean up the downstairs rooms.
“Are you asexual or something?”
The question felt like it had come out of nowhere, Punz snapping out of his thoughts to look at the albino boy. He raised an eyebrow in confusion, nodding for Boomer to continue.
“Well, you said that you don’t feel for people in a physical way.” Boomer leaned back on his bed, propping his feet up. “So I was just curious.”
Hannah would kill him if she saw him with shoes on the bed again.
“I dunno.” Punz looked out the window.
“Hey, that’s cool.” Boomer chuckled. “You don’t gotta know anything until you’re ready.”
Boomer and Hannah didn’t stick around long after that. They had located a relative of theirs that was willing to take them in, and so off they went. Punz was happy for them, he really was.
That didn’t stop the ache in his chest as he stared up at the ceiling in his now empty room.
Clutching his necklace tightly, Punz thought back to his brothers.
Wherever Tommy and Purpled were, Punz hoped that they were happy. They never came back to the home, so that had to mean something good.
Right?
Punz stayed in the home for around a year, having just celebrated his fourteenth birthday when he was called for a meeting.
Somebody was actually interested in fostering him. Apparently the man’s name was Bad Halo, and he already had a son that he adopted.
Punz briefly wondered what kind of name was Bad. But who was he to judge? His name was Punz, after all.
The drive to Bad’s house was the most anxious he had been in a long time. His stuff was in a bag in the trunk, his necklace in his hoodie pocket. He ignored all of his social worker’s questions, keeping to himself as he stared out the window. He didn’t mean to be rude. He just handled his nerves like he always did.
By presenting as neutral to anything and everything.
He couldn’t help the bit of shock in his system as they pulled into the driveway.
This house was… much bigger than the one he grew up in. Climbing out of the car and getting his bag, Punz followed behind his social worker, being greeted at the door by a dark haired man with glasses. Punz was taller than him by a few inches, and his hair reached down top nearly the center of his back.
“Welcome!” The man said cheerily, motioning for both of them to come in. “Good to see you!” He looked at Punz. “I’m Darryl, but everybody calls me Bad. It’s so good to meet you, Punz.” He held out a hand for Punz to shake. It took him a second, but Punz shook it.
Bad’s hands were shockingly soft. What did this man do for work?
The sound of the steps creaking caught Punz’s attention, looking over as another dark haired male walked own them. He was scruffy, and Punz could see that his hair was in a neat ponytail that easily reached down to the center of his back.
“Oh, fuck. Was that today?”
“Language.” Bad shot him a look, face quickly softening as he looked at Punz again. “This is my son, Sapnap.” He looked back at Sapnap. “This is Punz. He’ll be staying with us. I expect you to be a good influence!”
”When am I not?” Sapnap crossed his arms, grinning.
“You just helped Dream throw Foolish’s shark statue in the pool!”
“He had it coming.” Sapnap flopped dramatically on the couch. “Besides, we got it out, didn’t we?” Punz snorted, Sapnap shooting him a grin. “Good to meet you.” He held out a fist, :Punz quick to walk over and bump his own fist against it.
“Well, I’ll leave it to you, Mr. Halo.” The social worker smiled, looking at Punz. “You have my number. Call me if you need anything.”
“Will do.” Punz gave a mock salute, watching as they left.”
“Well!” Bad clapped his hands together, smiling. “Let me show you to your room, Punz!”
Punz’s room was… Well, it was a room. Punz didn’t really know what to say about it. There was a bed and a desk. The window was a decent size.
“Mind if I move my bed next to the window?” Punz asked as he dropped his bag onto the desk.
“Do whatever makes you more comfortable.” Bad smiled brightly. “Here, I’ll even help you.” He walked over to the bed, helping Punz pull it so it was next to the window. With a quick thank you, Punz kicked his shoes off and flopped back. Bad was quick to leave Punz to his own devices after, the silence only lasting moments as Sapnap popped his head into the room. Punz lifted his head to look at Sapnap.
“What?”
“Nothin’.” Sapnap hummed, looking around. “It ain’t much, but I’m sure Bad will take you to get your own things.” He leaned against the wall. “And if you smell weed, don’t think anything of it. Or come chill with me. Whatever.” Sapnap shrugged.
“You smoke weed?” Punz sat up completely.
“Sometimes. Is that a problem?”
“Not at all.” Punz put his hands up in a pacifying manner. “It’s your house, dude.”
“Good. Helps me relax when I’m feeling extra… burn happy.”
“Burn happy?” Punz grinned in amusement.
“I tend to get antsy sometimes, and it leads to some destructive tendencies.” Sapnap tilted his head a bit, grinning. “At least, that’s how my therapist puts it.” He yawned and stretched, turning around. “I’m gonna catch a nap. Yell for Bad if you need something, because I sleep through everything.” He walked to the door, pausing at the frame. “Oh, and for the record…”
“Hmm?”
“It’s our house now. Not just mine.” He glanced at Punz slightly before slipping out.
Punz didn’t know what to say to that. Flopping back on the bed, Punz stared at the ceiling.
He felt… hopeful? He didn’t know if that was the right word for it, but that’s what he was going with.
Yeah… Hopeful…
And as he ate dinner with Bad and Sapnap, as he slept in his bed for the first time, as the weeks began to crawl by…
That hope only grew.
But in the back of his mind,he constantly thought about Tommy and Purpled. He brought them up to Sapnap one evening as he hung out in Sapnap’s room. The two of them started smoking together, and both of them quickly learned just how open and emotional Punz was when high.
Punz quickly found himself sobbing in Sapnap’s arms, Sapnap rubbing his back gently and telling him that everything was okay.
“I’m horrible.” Punz sobbed. “I never even tried looking for them!”
“You focused on you.” Sapnap gently rocked him back and forth. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“They were just kids, Sap.”
“And so were you.”
Punz found himself trusting Sapnap more and more after that night. Whenever he found himself feeling vulnerable, whenever Sapnap’s emotions flared more than he could handle alone, the two of them found themselves in one of their bedrooms. Punz never smoked after that night, but a part of him enjoyed Sapnap still smoking in the same room.
“Contact high.” Sapnap grinned. “Not as intense.” He sat back on his bed, enjoying the buzz he felt.
“You’re not as intense.” Punz mocked from the floor, lifting a hand to flip Sapnap off and dropping it back on his chest. Punz didn’t see it, but Sapnap’s face softened.
“No. No I’m not.”
Punz was fostered for only three months when Bad made the decision to officially adopt him. Sapnap cried harder than Punz did. They celebrated with a big dinner, finished off with a cake made by Bad himself.
Punz felt happy to have been adopted by someone who actually knew their way around a kitchen, something Sapnap seemed to lack of the burnt food he made some days had anything to show. He never did go back to school. Bad was kind enough to let him drop out and get his GED instead, understanding the anxiety in Punz’s heart better than even himself.
Bad put him through therapy as well, saying that he noticed Punz’s habit of shutting himself down whenever his emotions got too much, not letting himself actually feel them. According to his therapist, he never let himself grieve. So he let himself do just that.
He let himself grieve. He let himself cry. He let himself yell and swear (getting a ‘Language’ from Bad each time). He let himself have days where he did nothing.
It scared him sometimes. It scared him just how free he felt not thinking about his past anymore. The ache would always be there, but he knew that he was feeling it less.
As the weeks melted into months, and the months into years, Punz felt himself thinking about Tommy and Purpled less and less. It still often had him laying on Sapnap’s floor or next to him in his bed whenever he reminded himself of the fact. Sapnap would just tell him how proud he was that Punz was listening to his therapist and finally putting himself first after all this time.
But he found peace. With his father and brother, he learned to move on.
Which was helpful when their third came around in the form of a kid named Eryn.
Bad had agreed to foster him on short notice, and Sapnap and Punz found themselves having to quickly clear out the attic.
It was already fine for a bedroom, it’s just that none of them really cared enough to use it.
Eryn didn’t seem to care either, immediately claiming the space as his own by accidentally knocking over a can of paint onto the floor. Eryn laughed at it, but Punz could see the nervousness in his eyes. Bad had only told him to be careful and asked Sapnap to help clean it up.
“Just got here and already causing hell.” Sapnap grinned. “Took this one over a month before breaking anything.” He pointed at Punz, Punz throwing out his hands as if to say ‘what the fuck’. The little joke seemed to calm Eryn down, and the two quickly became a group of three.
Eryn quickly learned that he was banned from Sapnap’s room while Sapnap was smoking, Eryn sitting on the floor and dramatically complaining until Sapnap would open the door to stare blankly at him. Then Eryn would just grin and run away.
Punz didn’t like to admit it, but having Eryn around dulled some of the ache left over from missing his brothers.
He hoped one day that he would find Purpled and Tommy and again, and that his two blood brothers would get along just as well with his new ones.
He could only hope.