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Sometimes when Hinata looks at the solemn autumn night sky he’s transported back to Brazil, not the intimate streets he left behind just half a year ago but to the shivering warmth of the unfamiliar air of those first few months, lost in a foreign town, when the now phantom ache was still a creeping hollow in his chest.
How the sand had felt like a stranger, soft and uneven, making Shoyou stumble in every jump, how the smell of the ocean would stick in his throat, make his eyes water, the sweltering heat of his crumbling confidence dripping off of his skin. How he had looked at a known face, a television screen and felt desperation and hunger scratch at his ribs. A reflection of the resolve that had carried him halfway across the world captured in a moving picture; so, he had built his play, himself anew.
Sometimes Shoyou closes his eyes to see, like back then, like always, a volleyball court. Sees himself stand in front of the end line bracing for a run but frozen in fear, toes tingling in anticipation and heart thudding until there’d be a shining figure setting the ball, urging, commanding him to spike. He would trust the setter, his setter, with no reservations and leap. His eyes closed to the one truth, like hiding a secret from your own heart.
To look at the mountain and feel the urge to climb it. For he knows who is waiting at the summit and just like that his path would clear, limbs loose, he’d begin his hike into the night.
Now it’s so easy to look at the everlasting night sky stretched just beyond the tips of his outstretched fingers, like a certain someone, just past the waves of euphoric pride and feel the ache, the longing settle deep in his gut. Shoyou inhales, shuddering but sure. He doesn’t scare easy, the summit has always had Kageyama in it, the only thing that has changed is that when he reaches and just before they race to the next one. He wants to stand side by side and hold his partner’s hand. Maybe kiss him a little. Deep breath. Yeah! No big deal. He swallows a little scream.
The world won’t end. Probably.
-
In Shoyou’s defence, he wasn’t aware that you could apparently only mention your best friend, your lifetime rival, your partner, a certain number of times in conversation, even if that was ‘every day and all the time’ thank you Sakusa-san, before people start suspecting you’re in a relationship with him. Not even the assumption that Shoyou might be the one with feelings, which at least that would be entirely true, but that they’re dating, him and Mr. Have shown no romantic interest in anyone ever. At which point, Shoyou has to wonder if his chances of wooing kageyama would increase in any percentage if he just signs a deal with a devil and becomes a whole volleyball. At least Kageyama would touch him that way, everywhere, all the time, Ah-ha. Bad thoughts, bad Shoyou. But still, shouldn’t a soon-to-be Olympic starter be a nice little human alternative to that? Shoyou sighs.
In any case, the important thing to note here is that Shoyou’s life is a complete mess, an entire disaster, if you will. He desperately misses the peace of barely ten minutes ago, when he hadn’t agreed to bring kageyama, his best friend in the entire world, to the ‘wedding of the decade’ (according to Atsumu-san) as his date because apparently everyone thinks they’re going steady.
He doesn’t know why. No, he really doesn’t. Sure, Hinata wants that to happen like right now but literally what part of his sad pining pointed them towards that answer? Sure, they spend most of their days off together, playing and watching volleyball. Sure, Hinata cooks him breakfast whenever Kageyama stays over, has gotten some curry commercial related complaints from teammates before (in the aspect of him obsessively re-watching it but it’s not his fault that its hilarious!) and well, they all did see them hugging after the opening match. Why does his cheeks feel warm all of a sudden? And what was Shoyou supposed to do? Not jump on the person he had so fiercely missed for two years? Fine, fine, he gets where they’re coming from.
So yes, when Sakusa-san comes over and tells him that they haven’t given him a plus-one as they sent a separate invite to Kageyama-kun already, he stills. Atsumu-san starts talking before Shoyou can get in motion, “Oh! Would Tobio-kun like a best man corsage to match with yours? We’re sending one to Akaashi-san too!”
Akaashi-san. Like Bokuto-san’s fiancé. Shoyou almost chokes on air.
“I’m sure Kageyama will be happy about it.” He whispers, and he would be, he’d probably puff-up like an adorable little bird. If the bird was a tall tree. Shoyou checks, just once to confirm, “So I’m bringing Kageyama as my date? You do know we’re not dating though.” The couple exchange glances, he doesn’t like the glint he sees there like they don’t quite believe him and he’s the one being difficult on purpose.
“Maybe you can start now!” Bokuto-san chirrups from behind him. Which isn’t the worst idea. Bokuto-san is the best. Who gives a very unsubtle thumbs up to the others out of the corner of his eyes. Well, he appreciates him pretending to believe him.
“Bokuto-san, you’re the best!” Shoyou grins anyway.
So yeah, Shoyou’s life is a complete disaster. Not disagreeing to them may have been part not wanting to annoy the grooms as one of the best men and part his own wishful thinking. Though he didn’t consider actually having to ask kageyama a part of it. But It's not a big deal. He can do it. He can be light and breezy and ask Kageyama to be his date to their friends’ wedding. Not a big deal at all.
-
Natsu: nii-chan u will be in Tokyo next month for the wedding, right?
Shoyo: yes, the second weeknd
Natsu: will you come home?
Shoyo: yes, I need to confirm the time w kageyama
Natsu: yay pls bring him too!! I miss him!!
Shoyo: no way :p
Shoyo: also…I’m going to ask Kageyama to b my date
Natsu: OMG OMG about time nii-chan!!!
Shoyo: hahaha very funny
Natsu: All the best!! Do you prefer red or gold?
Shoyo: Red. Why?
Natsu: for the wedding ofc
Shoyo: I’m wearing blue though??
Natsu: XD
-
Shoyo: BAKAGEYAMA-KUN
Shoyo: YAMAYAMA-KUN
Shoyo: TOBIO-CHAN
Shoyo: KING-SAMA
Tobio : what
Tobio : dumbass
Shoyo: DID YOU READ THE LASTEST CHAPTER OF METEO ATTACK?
Tobio : not yet
Tobio : also, the point doesn’t count because I was training
Shoyo: how did u
Shoyo: fine…BUT LEMME KNO WHEN U DO I WANNA KNOW WHAT U THINK OF THE NEW TECHNIQUE THEY USE
Tobio : don’t spoil it
Tobio: did u manage to make that ‘super-duper health’ dish?
Shoyo: I’m going to make it for dinner!!
Tobio : *thumbs up*
Shoyo: ew who uses that
Shoyo: ur like an old man at heart yamayama
Tobio : and ur a monkey at heart
Shoyo: where did that come from??
Tobio : whatever dumbass
Shoyo: HAHAHA u just said whatever came into ur head didn’t u HAHAHA
Tobio : *thumbs down*
-
The thing is, there wasn’t ever a definite irreversible moment when Shoyou knew he was truly and utterly fucked. There were several, moments where a soft something would linger in the air between them. In retrospect, past-Shoyou may not have understood exactly what he was feeling but such moments have been recurrent, moments of finality where being with Kageyama feels so, so final and right. A this is it, a ‘Ah so this is how I want to spend my life’.
He’s not scared, he knows being rejected won’t be the end of the world that it won’t untangle the interwoven lives Kageyama and him have built around each other. He just wants more, wants to spend every aspect of it together, experience new things side by side and unearth every expression he hasn’t seen yet. He wants to stand on the court together, at the summit of their race in a far future and feel fulfilled, content, loved. He just hopes.
-
Hinata ends up letting himself inside Kageyama’s apartment with his key when no one opens the door on the first ring. He goes and deposits his bags in the guest room before roaming around in the cozy space to check where his gracious host has disappeared. He hears the shower running from the hallway so he goes to the kitchen and starts getting the ingredients out for pasta.
He looks up from the capsicum he’s cutting when he hears gentle thuds on the wooden floor to see a naked kageyama emerges with a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is wet and longer than he keeps it covering his eyes halfway, a confused frown etched across his face. Hinata feels his face get warm as he takes in the strong slope of his shoulders, the muscles in his arms, the water dripping off of the smooth skin on his pectorals and abs. Hinata feels thirsty all of a sudden, biting his lips he looks up.
“You’re here.” already goes unspoken. Kageyama gives him that small, warm smile he still hasn’t gotten used to which makes him want to hug him close and stay like that forever. He recognises how doing that right now won’t be the best idea with the whole naked situation going on.
“I’m here,” His heart races on. “Go get dressed unless you want to get a cold while eating.”
“I’m not you” Kageyama says and makes a smug face before turning to go inside. Hinata squawks with a shout “UNFAIR YAMAYAMA-KUN! SEE IF I LET YOU EAT MY COOKING.” He tuts, unbothered. Who taught that guy cheek. He should really spend less time with Tsukishima.
-
They eat together at the two-person round table Kageyama had purchased after Shoyou complained about having to sit at the couch the first time he came over. Kageyama doesn’t comment on the scented candle he lit in a bit of an embarrassing urge.
Kageyama enjoys his food with a steadfast focus, all pleased as he bites into the cheesy garlic bread. Hinata sips his wine and stares. Kageyama is gorgeous, it’s a fact he’s known ever since high school. He’s hot too proven not only by his own all-consuming desire but also from the hordes of fans calling him so. He is ethereal even, an angel as soon as his expression smoothens out. He smiles more nowadays too, absentminded and radiant. Just a slight tug of lips and warm crinkling, beautiful in its sincerity. Hinata’s heart thuds in his chest. He keeps staring until Kageyama leans back to drink water and his gaze flicks up to meet his.
Kageyama’s eyes widen as he coughs a bit, “Why are you looking at me like that, dumbass?”
Hinata, still dizzy from longing and a bit from the wine, takes a chance. He smirks and says, “It’s not my fault you’re nice to look at.” He watches in real time as red blooms in Kageyama’s cheeks in contrast to his face which crunches up. It’s so adorable he wants to kiss it.
“Why kageyama-kun~?” He coos goading, “Not used to it?” Kageyama rolls his eyes at that but spreads his hands on the table, bracing himself.
Hinata should stop speaking. He continues, “I’m just trying to figure out what all your fans find so hot about you.” He shrugs to show how casual he is right now. There’s no sweat on his back at all.
So, he’s not at all prepared for Kageyama to lean over to gently tug a stray curl and fix it behind his ear all of a sudden. Then, “And do you?”
Hinata stutters, “Do I what?” he asks even though he can guess.
“Find me hot?” Hinata almost chokes. He almost dies. He startles and looks up to see Kageyama smirking, ears pink but eyes glinting in the candlelight.
Hinata takes a deep breath, whatever alternate dimension he has clearly teleported can be handled with later. He’s not going to let his permanent rival, parallel universe notwithstanding, win in the meantime.
He looks straight into Kageyama’s brilliant ocean eyes, “Yes, I do.” It’s almost a balm to find Kageyama equally flustered with his mouth hanging open, sulkily looking everywhere but at him.
Hinata feels giddy, chest ripe with excitement and cheeks furiously hot. He gets up and goes to the other side of the table, waiting until Tobio huffs and faces him in his seat. He refuses to say it but being taller in the situation gives him a little confidence.
Hinata swallows. He never cowers, he tells his fears a clear ‘Fuck you’ before facing it and moving forwards. That’s what he has always done. He steels himself, opens his mouth and what comes out is, “Fuck you.”
“Excuse me?” Kageyama barks out, shoulders swaying backwards as if on physical impact. He raises his eyebrows as hurt clouds his face.
Hinata panics. “Fuck. No! I meant I’d like to fuck you” He stammers out, horrifyingly. He’s mortified. He wants to go find the tallest building in Tokyo and jump off of it.
“What.” Kageyama’s nose is scrunched up in confusion, eyes blown wide and his entire faces blazes red. It’s so charming. Hinata wants to run. He does not.
“Fucking hell. forget that. I meant-” he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
“What I mean is. Be my date. To the wedding.” It comes out more a command than a request but he doesn’t take it back. He looks resolutely at the painting on the wall.
Shoyou feels a sudden tug on his hand which makes him fall forward, straddling into Kageyama’s lap. He turns his head down to glare at the culprit just as broad, wonderful, godly hands come up to hold his waist. He gapes, unable to process. What is his life right now? So many people will be heartbroken if they see him sitting in Kageyama-Senshu’s lap.
“Close your mouth, dumbass.” Shoyou comes back to earth and settles more comfortably into the best seat in the world before being appropriately incensed.
“YOU- what do you think you are doing huh?” he asks with his fingers pinching Tobio’s cheeks. You should do it more, he doesn’t say.
“You’re the one who wouldn’t look at me!” Tobio huffs endearingly, a bit garbled with his cheeks stretched.
“I’m looking now.” Hinata’s heart is pounding again, he shifts back to put his hands down. He doesn’t get off.
“Okay.” Kageyama says shyly, blushing proper but earnestly looking at Shoyou.
“Okay?” Shoyou lights up, feeling his chest expand like it would burst. That can’t do, he needs it for future cuddle sessions with kageyama.
“That’s what I said!” Tobio softy repeats, affronted but pouting as he hooks his fingers into Shoyou’s belt loops.
Hinata laughs happily, loud and euphoric as the sound bouncing off the walls. He leans forward to hug his best friend, his partner, his lifetime rival, his date.
Kageyama hugs him back tightly.
-
They met. They played. The first time he truly understood connection, like the sun rising from behind the mountain, like two crows flying into the open sky, like handshakes and promises.
At the start of all this, the realisation that he’s in love was a bit of a surprise, but the certainty that he was in love with kageyama was not.
The more Shoyou thinks about it the more It feels inevitable, an all-encompassing truth, a prophecy that set-in motion the moment he first saw the tall boy with black hair and deep blue eyes. But it was always a choice too. One that he made again and again. To hold the same hand and to aim for the same goal. To reach the same person.
It’s almost embarrassing how long it took for him to realize this blinding truth staring him right in the eye, etched in every action, every touch, every look, every word.
The feeling is sacred and precious in its strength and it doesn’t define their relationship in its entirety. It may be the essence but there are multitudes to his emotions for Tobio that he’s unable to define. Their bond too deep to dig out and count the roots.
“As long as I’m here, you’re invincible.” Echoes in his brain, he wants to groan but he’s grinning instead.
He looks at Kageyama soundly dozing off on his shoulder. As long as they are together, they are invincible.
-
They kiss. The world doesn’t end.