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Terminal. That’s the word both Tighnari and Cyno were pussyfooting around, because Collei, we don’t like to use absolutes. They must not realize she can hear their whispered conversation in the other room, because she’s sick, not deaf. She knew either way. The stares she had gotten around Gandharva Ville were always laced with pity, but now her fellow rangers could barely meet her eye. News travelled quickly around here.
Collei, on the other hand, felt fine. Collei had gotten very good at two things over the years: making pita pockets, and smiling when she didn’t feel like it.
Amber called it inner strength. Her therapist called it “suppressing true her feelings.” It didn’t matter either way: the end result is that Collei’s crunch time to complete her bucket list has been cut short. And she was not dying until she’s crossed them all out, thank you very much.
She couldn’t tell you what had changed, only that it had happened overnight. Something snapped, for better for worse, and like the wither clearing from a forest, the path ahead for her was made obvious.
“Collei,” Tighnari said, hesitantly, as he watched her complete her tenth set of pull-ups. “Don’t you think it’s time for a break?”
When she had come to him a week prior, asking to help build a jungle gym out of wood, he had looked at like she had grown two heads in addition to her sudden fervor for working out. It was a patented Tighnari look, the one asked What is wrong with that child?! with a perfectly polite smile. Her sudden change in regime had him even more nosy than usual.
Collei dropped from the bar, wiping the sweat from her forehead, and took the bottle of water he offered her. “Sorry! I gotta go for my run after this. I appreciate your concern, Master.”
Tighnari’s ears twitched. “The 10km one.”
“Yep!”
“Collei, really, you shouldn’t be pushing yourself-” Collei slammed the empty bottle down on the boardwalk, and began to hop to warm up her legs.
“Sorry Master!” She said, as she ran past him on her way out.
“COLLEI!”
--
Tighnari sighed, deeply, and pinched the bridge of his nose. Not only had her energy increased, but her appetite, too- his protégé was putting on muscle alarmingly fast. He was starting to think he should take her to see a doctor in Sumeru City, but Collei would refuse. She didn’t like Doctors at all.
He tried relaying his concerns to Cyno, to varying success.
“She’s a growing girl,” Cyno said, watching him pace back and forth from his perch on Tighnari’s comfy chair. Somewhere through the years, it had become Cyno’s chair. He wasn’t complaining.
“She’s put on 10 pounds of muscle!” Tighnari gestured to his arms, wildly. “IN A WEEK. A. WEEK.”
“It’s good that she’s eating.”
“I know it’s good.”
“Sure.”
Tighnari barely acknowledged that, instead chewing his nails. “And she’s benching 380.”
“380? Atta girl!” Cyno looked proud, until he caught Tighnari’s glare and quickly smothered it.
“We’ll take her to see someone,” he said, doing his best to say it soothingly so Tignari’s tail would stop emulating a cactus.
“She’s going to crash sooner or later,” Tighnari said. “She can’t keep this up.”
“Then we’ll be there to catch her,” Cyno replied bluntly. He tapped his knee. The dark bruising underneath his eyes twitched every so often.
“It’s her life, Tighnari,” he said. “We have to respect that.”
Tighnari set his teeth together, and did not reply. Cyno put a hand on his shoulder, and they lapsed into comfortable silence.
--
Collei continued to train. Her regime would be grueling, even without a weakened system, but she still found herself with more energy than ever. She wondered if she trained hard enough, if she would start losing hair: or if the progression of Elezar would cause that first. There were some cases like that.
Amber told her that if that happens, she’d shave her head too. It was a nice thought, but Amber had nice hair. Collei didn’t want anyone else wearing it.
She had gained quite a bit of muscle now, to the point where some of the other forest rangers, especially the bulkier ones, look a bit intimidated. She didn’t care. Tighnari hadn’t said anything directly to her about it either, but she did find extra protein in her meals these days.
Finally, several months after she had first started, Collei felt ready to progress to the next stage. With more time, she would have trained longer, but she needed to start now.
Day 1. Number of Clones remaining: 101
Collei snapped her journal shut and tucked into her packed bag. It was filled with everything she could spare to pack. She didn’t know if she’s coming home. When, not if, she reminds herself. She’s an optimist.
She was on the hunt. She’d always done well at tracking animals. People are animals too, Collei thought, but her quarries are not people. That makes it even easier.
Shwrp.
Collei lowered her bow.
Her first kill was messier than expected. It had been beginner’s luck, she thought, that she had caught the first clone off guard. As she wiped her retrieved arrowhead on her sleeve, Collei wondered how she was going to clean up the mess. There had to be a more efficient way of doing things.
Collei sighed and reached down to begin dragging the body away. Her therapist would not be hearing about this.
Day 10. Number of Clones remaining: 97
The Fatui platoon stopped to set up camp just before nightfall. The agent stepped out of the shadows and uncloaked himself, kneeling in front of a blue haired man in a long winter coat.
“Lord Harbinger,” he cried out, “This site is clear!”
Il Dottore barely looked up from his ledger, waving a dismissive hand. The agent retreated silently. Dottore turned instead to an Electro Cicin mage standing guard behind him.
“Get me the crate marked number 4. And make it quick,” he snapped. The Cincin mage bowed her head, and scampered to the back. She picked up the crate and set it down gently on the desk beside him.
“Not there, you oaf!” Dottore cried, “On the floor! Ugh, now I have to decontaminate my workspace.” He clicked his tongue. “Why do I always end up with the idiots.”
“Forgive me, Lord Harbinger!” the Cicin mage cried, stepping away. She stumbled over the desk leg as she backed up. Dottore shook his head.
“Stupid and clumsy,” he muttered, going to lift the crate. It shifted, but did not lift. Dottore frowned. He tried to lift it again, muscles straining.
“Do you require assistance, Lord Harbinger?” the Cicin asked, hesitant. The Fatui agent’s head snapped his colleague, and he made a X with his arms.
“No,” Dottore grunted.
“…I could lend a hand.”
The Fatui agent facepalmed. Dottore whirled around, snapping, “Are you deaf? You incompetent b-”
The shovel stuck square into his forehead, and the clone’s eyes widened. He fell forwards and hit the ground. Collei slipped off the Cicin hood.
“Oops,” Collei said. “My hand slipped.”
The Fatui agent stared at her. Collei picked up the shovel. It came free with a squelch.
“Efficiency!” She exclaimed to him, holding it up.
The Fatui agent stared down at the body. He looked at her. “Ah….”
With a grunt, Collei shoved the head of the shovel into the packed dirt, and began to dig. Her back muscles rippled. She stopped, struck by a thought.
“An accident,” Collei said to the Fatui agent, staring into his soul. He looked down at the body once more.
“Hmnknf…” he mumbled. The shock seemed to have made him regress. Collei sighed and gripped the shovel.
“Another accident?” She asked slowly, pointing at the Fatui agent.
The Fatui agent quickly shook his head.
Collei nodded, and returned to her digging.
Day 19. Number of Clones remaining: 86
She needed a better weapon. A training bow was not going to cut it.
While pondering this over on the road to Sumeru City, she saw that there was a young girl with white hair and pointed ears, sitting on a mushroom ahead of her. She had never seen this girl in her life. Collei considered going around, but it was too late. The girl had spotted her. She waved Collei over.
“Hello, Collei,” she greeted, kicking her dangling feet.
Collei stopped in front of her. “Ah…hello? Do I know you?”
The child giggled. “No. But I do. I’ve been trying to find you for a while now. Your guardians are very worried about you.”
Collei held the straps of her pack, stared at her feet.
“How are you feeling?” the girl asked in a gentle voice. “Really feeling?”
“I…” Collei trailed off. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Could you compare it to something else? Like a color. Or a person! Or a specific memory?”
“Like an analogy?”
“Yes! Analogies are wonderful,” the child beamed, lacing her fingers together.
“I’m not good at coming up with stuff like that,” she muttered.
“It’s okay. Take your time.”
She could say something about there being not much to take, but she didn’t- aw, screw it. She wasn’t quite on Amber’s level of optimism yet. She’d work on it.
“Well, um…,” Collei put a finger to her chin. “My life span is like a candle…”
The girl nodded her head encouragingly.
“Only someone took that candle and put it in a woodchipper.”
“Oh…” the girl’s ears drooped. “Well, that’s…hmm. We’ll have to work on that.”
For a moment, Collei wondered who she was talking to. The girl was looking at her the same way Tighnari and Cyno do, sometimes. A look that comes from someone older to someone younger, that says, I want to shelter your innocence from this world- which was plain wrong, because it should be the other way around.
“I’ll sleep on it!” Collei smiled, folding her hands behind her back and feeling very uncomfortable. The girl still looked incredibly downtrodden, so Collei took a candied apple from her bag and handed it to her. The girl accepted it, bewildered.
Collei smiled. “Maybe I’ll see you around! I have to go now, sorry.”
“Hold on-” But Collei was already heading off down the road. The girl kicked off the mushroom, and began to run after her. Unfortunately, Collei’s legs were much longer than hers.
“Wait!”
Collei began to speed up. The girl did her best to toddle after her.
“Please, stop running!”
Day 29.. Number of Clones remaining: 72
Collei did make sure to check in with Tighnari and Cyno more frequently. When they asked her how her gardening trip was going, she smiled and said, “Great! I’ve taken so many pictures of flowers I want to plant!” She then showed said pictures of flowers, and they assumed the strange smell coming from her backpack was indeed fertilizer.
She also made sure to attend the group therapy sessions they wanted her to attend. They were held each week in one of the Academia halls in Sumeru City. It was attended by a group of around twenty people, regulars, that came to sit in a circle of plastic chairs and ignore their problems.
It was incredibly boring. Collei missed the time when they weren’t mandatory, before things got terminal. She doesn’t think she needs it, but Tighnari and Cyno thinks she does, so she goes. It makes them happy.
It helped that there was someone interesting to talk, at least.
Scaramouche was in a strange place, in her order of the world. He used to be an asshole, and now he was less of one. Supposedly he had come here of his own volition. Collei didn’t particularly like him, but she didn’t particularly hate him either. She liked talking to him though. Maybe it’s because they could both be poster children for the wonders of therapy! so she didn’t need to explain things as much.
She had already dropped hints on what she was really doing, and he had already pieced it together. He had thought it was a joke. He had only stopped laughing when he realized she wasn’t.
“I’ve realized something,” Collei said, taking a seat beside Scaramouche as they waited for the coordinator to arrive.
“And come to your senses?”
“Life is like a pita pocket,” she said. “You either fill up or get stuffed.”
“What?” Scaramouche said.
“It makes sense.”
Scaramouche, unlike the white-haired child, threw up his hands. “How do even plan to face him?”
“I’ll become a god.”
“That’s a stupid idea,” Scaramouche told her.
“I don’t have a better one,” she said.
“That’s why it’s stupid.” He shook his head. “Have you never heard of a backup plan? Because Prime certainly has.”
“All he did is press control-c on himself.”
“Yeah, and it worked.”
Collei folded her arms and stared. He looked back at her, and she didn’t look away. He looked away first.
“Throw away your life then,” he said, tired. “What does it matter?”
The therapist came in a few minutes later, sitting back in her chair. She looked each of them in the eyes and smiled. Her teeth were unnaturally white. She had a plump, kind face with watery eyes and golden-brown skin without makeup. She slid her clipboard over her lap, and when no-one returned her smile, it lessened.
“Who wants to go first?” she asked, looking downwards to appear busy with her clipboard. She looked relieved when Collei raised a hand.
“I hung out with some new friends,” she shared, twisting her hands in her lap. Some of others, like Scaramouche, stared at her. Most weren’t paying attention.
Deep in the jungle, Collei looks up, and hopes the knot holds. It had been a lot of work to get Dottore up there. She wondered if the man was too heavy for the branch. It was a sturdy branch, but Dottore was heavy. Maybe she needed to get rid of some excess weight.
“That’s great!” The therapist smiled. “What did you guys do?”
“Well see- I needed an extra pair of hands,” Collei said. “I’d never pickled things before.”
Scaramouche slowly lowered his head into his hands, and stared at the floor. The woman next to him looked at him with confusion.
“Great! Trying new hobbies is an excellent way to find a new passion on your road to recovery,” the therapist said cheerfully. “What about the rest of you? Did anyone else try any new hobbies?”
Someone coughed. No-one meet her eye.
“If anyone wants to, I can ask Tighnari to give you all some gardening tips!” Collei smiled, taking pity on her.
“That’s a wonderful idea, Collei!” The therapist gushed. “Thank you, Collei. Everyone, say ‘Thank you Collei!’”
A half hearted murmuring rose and fell around the circle.
Day 27. Clones remaining: 64
It was off to Port Ormos next. The harbourside was just as she remembered, all string lights and haggling vendors. They called out at the passerby, trying to peddle their bottomless vases and magic, extra yield producing pea seeds. The smell of mushrooms wafted from the grills. A gaggle of dogs nosed themselves into the open legs of anyone dumb enough to sit on the white-splat covered benches.
Collei needed to pick up a package she’d orded a week prior. She found the unassuming store front on the third level. Dori beamed up at her from her carpet as she approaches.
“How can I help you today, my dear customer?” Dori exclaimed, brandishing her hands over her wares. Collei giggled.
“Just looking to pick up an order,” she said, squeezing hands in front of her and swaying. On display are her usual knowledge capsules. Nothing out of the ordinary.
“Certainly. Who placed the order? Oh- and might I suggest throwing in a special feature. 50% off all capsules just this week, you’d hate to miss it.”
“Maybe another time,” Collei laughed
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
Dori looked crestfallen. “Fine. Who was that order for, again?”
Collei smiled, and said very quietly, “A desert cobra.”
Dori froze. She asked, carefully, “Are you sure?”
“You asked who ordered.”
Dori stared at her with a strange expression, before saying, “Come with me to the back room.”
Collei followed her through the a curtain, to where she assumed Dori kept her wares, and into a darkened room near the back.
“I’ll be honest. I’m surprised,” Dori said, hopping up onto a stool.
“That it’s me?”
“That no-one has tried to stop you yet.”
Collei watched Dori strain an arm upwards to reach for a cloth bundle on a shelf. The stool wobbled.
“Of course, they tried. I didn’t let them succeed.”
“That seems unwise.”
Collei took a deep breath. “I came because I was told you would help me. If I ask you something you cannot do, then I will leave and find someone who will help me. I know I am small and weak. I know I have been a sickly child all my life. I’m not complaining about either of those things. I only want to finish what that man started.”
“I need to finish him,” she clarified. The stool toppled over, followed by a crash.
She wondered if Dori would try and patronize her. Laugh and tell her to run along back home. The girl picked herself back up, rubbing her backside. Dori’s eyes bored into her as she took the cloth bundle in her hands and began to unwrap it.
“This,” Dori said, presenting the ebony bow, “Is 21 inches of carbon fiber. Flexible, but devastating in the right hands. It has been tested with a variety of different ammo types.”
Collei looked at the bow. “It’s not an RPG.”
Her eyes twitched. “Correct. It’s not.”
“Where’s the RPG I asked for?”
“I’m not giving you an RPG.”
Collei frowns.
“Can it kill a man?”
Dori considers the question. “…if you aim correctly.”
Collei took the bow, cradling it in both of her palms. “Good.”
Dori didn’t ask any further questions. Collei handed over the payment, and slung the modified bow over her back.
Dori, with the bag of payment in her hands, still stared at her, frowning. Collei didn’t know what to do, so she defaults to ‘keep smiling’. Smiling always worked.
She’s had enough of this awkward silence. As she left, Collei looked over her shoulder, and said, “Pleasure doing business with you!”
It took a second for Dori to shut her mouth.
Day 36. Clones remaining: 50
Collei ran into a problem. Some clones, no matter how much she wants to, were inaccessible. There was no way she was hopping on a boat for the next 2 months to track down a single clone on an island in the middle of the ocean. She needed to delegate the task of retrieving it to someone else. She knew just who to ask.
She had specifically asked to meet in the tavern for lunch. The ambient chatter would help cover their conversation. After smiling at the server as he left the table, Collei turned her attention to the two blond siblings sitting across from her.
“You want us to collect a Dottore clone and bring it back to you,” Lumine clarified. Collei nodded.
The twins looked at each other, then back to her.
Aether said, “Are you… sure? Look, maybe you should talk this over with someone else before you-”
“I’ll pay you.”
Lumine smiled. “It’s not the money, Collei. We’d help you regardless. We’re just concerned over your wellbeing-”
Collei dropped a pocket-sized cloth bag on the wooden table before her, causing a plate to jump. “40 primos to get him. 40 more when you deliver him here.”
“Done,” they said in unison.
“I want him alive,” Collei clarified. Aether peeked inside the contents of the sack. Satisfied, he nodded at his sister, who turned to Collei and clapped her hands together.
“Say no more,” she said.
She received a package the next day. Inside was a very confused Dottore clone, bound and gagged, and stuffed inside a package much too small for him. It was a very efficient transfer. Collei had considered using this method more often, but she didn’t have the funds to keep it up. Besides, it felt better when she tracked one down herself.
The Dottore looked up at her, anger clear in his eyes. Collei stared him down.
“I think I’ll try something new today,” she told him. “Consider it an experiment.”
His eyes widened.
Day 39. Clones remaining: 48
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” Cyno told her, when they visited the markets to do the weekly produce shopping. Most of the year, Sumeru had to import its apples from Mondstatdt. Their color aways made her think of Amber. They both liked apples, but Tighnari wasn’t quite as fond of them, so she made sure to pick them up on occasion.
“What do you put in it?” Collei asked.
“Put in what?”
“The apple. Rat poison? Cyanide?”
“No, no,” Cyno said, “It’s just an expression. See, apples contain a number of highly important nutrients for the human body, so when you eat lots of apples, you are keeping your immune system in order to stay healthy. Since healthy people don’t need to visit a doctor, we say that an apple can ke-”
Collei was still thinking about her next kill. If she hollowed it out, she was sure it could fit a cyanide pill. She would need to acquire such a pill. She would also need to made sure the Dottore clone ate it. Maybe it didn’t need to be an apple at all. Maybe she just needed to put it in his food somehow.
“-Skinned apples are better, since they contain 332% more vitamin K, 142% more vitamin A, 115% more vitamin C, 20% more calcium, and up to 19% more potassium than-”
She also needed to dispose of #49. If only there was a way to deal with them both in one swoop. She sighed, holding her head.
“Is it another headache?” Cyno cut off suddenly, serious.
“Huh?” Collei looked up, bewildered, and dropped her hand. “Oh, no, I’m just thinking.”
“Hnn. Let’s get you out of the sun, regardless.”
Maybe she’ll make pie. Everyone liked pie.
“Hey Cyno, can we get pie ingredients?”
“Of course,” he assured her. They get pie ingredients.
--
When Tighnari headed to the kitchen area at three in the morning, to find Collei baking apple pie, of all things, he was’t sure if he should say anything. Maybe it would be better if he simply walked back out, and never mentioned it again. It could have been nothing more than a sign that Collei was missing the food of Mondstadt. Collei looked happy, and that’s all that mattered.
It was also three in the morning. She should be sleeping, not baking something, that- based on his past experiences- would be fortunate to be edible.
“Good morning, Collei.”
“Oh, Master! Hi!” she greeted, looking up from her pastry dough, “I’m sorry, but I can’t have you try the pie. It wouldn’t be good for you.”
“I can handle a few apples,” he joked.
“It’s not just apples.”
Tighnari looked at her, then at the flour covering the workspace. At the apple peelings littering the flour. Collei takes the dough and pounds it against the counter. A dent forms on the counter surface.
“Really.” he said, eying it. “Whatever else did you put in there?”
“Stuff.”
“…Stuff,” he repeated. Collei nodded.
He rubbed his eyes. “Okay. Just- please get some sleep, alright? Staying up this late is detrimental to your health.”
“I will!”
“Oh, and make sure you clean up afterwards.”
Collei saluted. “Noted!”
“Good day then.”
“Good day, Master!”
Stuff. Tighnari left to head back to bed, muttering under his breath. His fur would turn grey by the time they found a cure for Collei’s condition, if Collei’s own antics didn’t send him to his grave through an early heart condition.
Collei watched his retreating back, unblinking, before shoving out the basket she had hidden with her toes.
Day 55. Number of Clones remaining: 36
There are 206 bones in the human body. Dottore had known this, and now Collei did too. Dottore had probably learned that in a book when he was a student at the Akademiya. Collei had always preferred a more hands on approach to learning.
Collei was almost happy there were so many clones. If one broke too easily, she could move onto the next. She had knocked this one out, and taken it to an underground lab in the desert. The clone was tied to a stone table, restraining bands taunt over his neck, torso, and legs. He bled onto the sand.
“I’m going to let you live,” she told this one, “But you’ve lost a lot of blood. I need to do a transfusion.”
He didn’t reply.
“What’s your blood type?”
Dottore inhaled wetly. His breath rattled. She moved, quick as a viper, to smack him across the cheek.
“HELLO? ARE YOU DEAF?” she said directly into his ear, and he winced. She sat back up.
Collei raised the bag of blood, and said calmly, “I can’t help you if I don’t know your blood type.”
“Be positive,” he gasped finally. Collei tilted her head, cupping a cheek.
“But I am. I’m always positive,” Collei said, smiling. “Just like Amber!”
“Be positive!”
“I’m super positive!” Collei exclaimed back, and the Dottore clone coughed once, before finally bleeding out. Collei took each arm and folded them neatly over his chest in the shape of an X.
Then she took out a saw.
Day 63. Number of Clones remaining: 29
Collei had been told before that recovery was not a straight line. Not something you could walk over just like that, from the “not okay side” to the “okay side.” Sometimes you could stand on the line itself. She could look forward, at the smiling faces waving at her in the sun. She could look behind, and see the black, slithering thing that won’t let her go.
Analogies were hard. Using her words, in general, was hard for her, but she was trying. If Collei had to compare recovery, it would be like climbing a mountain. Daunting, and easy to slip and fall from. When her feet slipped on the gravel, she wondered if she would hit the ground. When, not if. When she would hit the ground.
She was getting close. She could feel it. Soon, Collei will have to go for the top dog. The big man. Dottore Prime.
There were probably 28 clones in total. They were “Clones”, but these ones didn’t look as fully realized, like Dottore had realized he had run out of whatever magic bullshit material he had used to make the others, and had to make do with scrap metal. They leapt down from the trees, one by one, until they had formed a ring with her at the center of it.
They had thought it was an ambush. It was, just not for her.
“Well, well, well,” one said. “What do we have here?” he laughed. “Don’t think we haven’t been paying attention to your litt-”
Collei’s gaze shifted from each as she slowly moved a hand to draw her bow. With out a word, she loaded an explosive arrow and let it fly.
The first set of Dottore parts went flying. The others scrambled to draw their weapons, but Collei had already drawn another arrow. She let that one fly too.
Draw, Aim, Shoot.
Draw, Aim, Shoot.
Draw, Aim, Shoot.
This will kill them, Collei thought. They couldn’t survive without a head. It's neck was floppy, and the head rolls around on the floor. Someone had done a poor job of keeping it sewn on, like poor Cuilein-Anbar doll #1. She took it by the hair and walked towards the tree.
The tree was…bright. A strange gold, a dream-like quality that was both familiar and alien. Its roots buried into a place unseen, deeper, pushing their way into the packed earth like the vessels of a divine tumor.
Il Dottore was standing beneath its boughs, back facing her. He shifted his neck to the right to let the clone head sail past his cheek. It hit the trunk and rolled down to his feet.
“You’ve come at last,” he said, ignoring it. “Alone, too. Why is that?”
He looked up, to those dazzlingly bright branches, as if seeking to find the answer there. “Enlighten me.”
“You’re the only one left,” Collei said.
“Say it again,” he laughed. “Don’t mumble, Collei.”
Collei stepped forwards.
“I said: You’re the only one left alive, you miserable piece of shit.”
“Ahh.” He says it slowly, drawing the syllable out. “You wanted revenge, even if it changes nothing.”
“It changes everything!”
Dottore merely smiled, taking off his mask. He turned around, finally.
“You’ve grown,” he said, sweeping a gaze over her. “You been lifting?”
“Screw you.”
The smile did not drop. “It’s funny. Without me, you were going to die: a sickly, forgettable little girl who did not matter.” Lights danced in his red eyes. “But I changed that. I made you. I’m so proud.”
Collei lunged forwards with a cry, but he merely stepped out of the way. The blood from a cut on her forehead was trickling down into her eyes, hot and sticky. She swung, and it was a miss. She felt like a child throwing a tantrum. She hated that feeling.
Suddenly, Collei coughed, a wetness dribbling down her chin. Blood splattered to the floor in front of her.
“No, no, why now!?” Her vision started to blur. The Doctor began to laugh, sharper than any syringe, more terrifying than the scales creeping their way up her arms.
“It seems like you’ve finally reached your limit, my dear,” he said, approaching. She fell to her knees.
A hand was reaching towards her.
Hand.
Collei flailed out, fingers scraping a root and-
Memories. Whose memories, she doesn’t know. They ebb and flow, running into one another like wet paint swirled on a canvas, each holding a distinct color.
“Little forest girl,” a voice says. A hiss. “Little forest girl with my blood in your veins. Your hatred endures.”
Something dark and foul rushes over her. The sickness wracking her body is not chased away by this new presence. Rather, it is accepted, like the two have moulded into one. The pain recedes.
“Make him wither.”
Collei staggered to her feet. This knowledge was heavy, too heavy for her to understand. She caught Dottore’s outreached wrist, twisting it until she heard a snap. She looked up into the eyes of the man who had turned into this, and said:
“Don’t. Fucking. Touch me.”
The hand she held began to rot. He screamed, but she did not let go. The red flickered over his body, penetrating each pore, pouring out his eyes.
She watched him burn. He begged, then sobbed, then gurgled, then fell silent. She dropped the hand.
Day ???. Clones remaining: 0
After the charred body hits the floor, Collei turned away from the aftermath, and went home. The mess would clean itself up. The forest would reclaim the ash for its own, and maybe something in that body would finally do good for another living thing.
She didn’t know how long it took to return to Ghandarva ville, or how far she had traveled, only that she was tired.
Tighnari was waiting for her. He looked older, somehow, with his arms folded in silence. Collei couldn’t look him in the eye.
“I’m sorry, Master,” she said finally. There was a lump in her throat. “If I’d been stronger…”
“Oh Collei…” he sighed. “You’ve been very strong.” He smiled, slight. “You know I’m proud of you.”
Her eyes burned. “I should have killed him sooner.”
Tighnari shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to kill anyone, Collei.”
Collei didn’t reply. She looked down at her hands. Tighnari waited.
“I couldn’t kill them all. I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Collei shook her head again, because Tighnari didn’t get it. He looked confused, so, utterly confused. She felt sorry for him. She tapped the side of her head.
“There’s one still alive here,” she said. “Still talking.”
Her expression crumpled, and she held out her arms. Only then was Tighnari there to catch her, ready to ruin his shawl with snot. He stroked her hair as she cried.
Tighnari gave great hugs. Not many people knew this, Collei thought, just like they didn’t know how soft his tail was, or how kind he was behind his prickly words. He had been on her side ever since Cyno had brought her home. He cared, Cyno cared, Amber cared, everyone she had met seemed to have some level of concern- so she must be loved. She should remind herself more often. Dottore couldn’t take that away, no matter if he were immortal.
Collei turned her head to press her ear against his chest and listened to the repetition of heartbeats. The thumping was perfectly on beat, like a metronome. It was steady. It fit the person it belonged to. Don’t stop, she wanted to tell it. If it stopped, she didn’t know what she would do. Stop thinking about the past. You’re okay now. Not a killer.
I want pita pockets, she thought. Not hers. The ones Tighnari makes taste better.
--
A few months later, Collei sat back on a stump and admired her garden. Her flowers basked in the early morning sun: the baby blues of the kalpalata, the orange-speckled blush of the tiger lilies, and the periwinkle of the Sumeru rose. Delicate lotuses pushed their way out, proudly, between the noble padisarahs and the common sweetflowers. Violets swayed in the breeze by the handful. She didn’t know how many people Dottore had experimented on in total, or how many deaths he was responsible for, but she hoped there was enough flowers for all of them.
Beyond the moss covered fence, she saw the children of Gandharva Ville, carefree, ignorant, and never having to go through what she had. Their laughter mixed with the sound of bird call.
She wiped the sweat from her brow with a soiled glove, and smiled upon a Dottore-free world. Her work here was done.