Chapter Text
It's something they're all used to, something that's just as normal to them as the rest of their lives.
When Raph gets angry, really angry, angry enough that he starts to dissociate and almost does things unthinkable, his eyes have a faint blueish-green hue to them. A glow, one could even call it, a very faint one. Like an old TV that was just turned off.
As far as they know, it's just part of his mutation. None of the others have ever really had the same thing, but then again, they all have aspects that are different between them.
Donnie is much taller. Leo has a bluer undertone to his skin. Mikey has freckles. And Raph? Has eyes that change color when he's lost in rage.
Luckily he's pretty good at calming down, with a little help from the others usually, sometimes on his own. He never takes that last step into it, to something irreversible and terrible. And it always fades when he gets back under control.
Donnie always thought, after seeing mutagen itself for the first time, that it was neat that the substance had the same color to it. Same faint glow.
He never really looked into it, though. Because it's just a cosmetic effect of the mutation, not anything major. He just thanks whatever powers may exist in the universe that he and his brothers and Splinter, all things considered, had pretty mild mutations compared to most of their enemies, even some of their allies. Their bodies are closer to humans than any other mutant they've met, and their minds are sound... at least, mostly. Sometimes he has doubts about Mikey and Raph. Sometimes.
Which is maybe why no-one noticed at first.
When his eyes started doing it too.
"I'm fine," Donnie groans again, batting away Mikey's hand. "Look, see? Shell is healing fine. I'm fine."
"But-"
"Leave him be, Mikey." Leo pats Mikey's shoulder as he joins them on the couch. "We've already checked for infection today. It's one clean crack, what we see is what it is."
"That's not what my medical show said!"
"Your medical show is a cartoon, Mikey."
"Oh, so Captain Ryan doesn't count as wisdom then?"
"What?! Of course he does!"
"So then why doesn't my show count?!"
Donnie sighs fondly as his brothers fight, putting an arm over his shell and wincing. It's been a few days since his... capture, by Vizioso. The rocket that initially took him out had cracked his shell nearly in half, the crack stretching across his plastron from right by his shoulder all the way down and across to the opposite hip. Luckily the crack didn't reach the ends of his shell, so it stayed intact, but...
Then Vizioso had his goons cut along the inside of the crack.
Donnie can only imagine that they intended to, well. Use it as the starting point.
Knowing Vizioso, he probably wanted to crack Donnie open like a lobster tail.
He hugs himself remembering the ordeal, equal parts fear and rage swelling inside of him. If his brothers hadn't gotten there in time...
"Hey. Donnie, come back to us." Donnie blinks out of the memory, looking up at Raph. The guilt on Raph's face is just...
He blames himself for the whole thing. Donnie did too, for a couple hours after he woke up. But it faded. Only one person was actually responsible for the whole thing, Donnie realized rather quickly. If the mob boss could even be called a person.
"I uh, made you some eggs." Raph hands the plate over, clearly being very conscious of not dropping it on Donnie's cracked plastron. "I read they're full of keratin and I guess our shells are made of it too. I woulda added onions but Mikey used 'em all."
"We were out of noodles! Cook onions long enough and it's basically the same thing, dog!"
"Actually, onions are a good replacement for noodles, at least for us. Raph's right, our shells are made of keratin, primarily, and eggs and onions are good sources of it."
"So it'll help your shell heal better!" Leo looks at Raph, impressed. "When did you become the science guy?"
"I just looked up a stupid article," Raph mumbles, sitting in the beanbag chair a few feet away.
"I-I appreciate it Raph, really." Donnie carefully readjusts his sitting position and starts eating. Soon the plate is completely empty, as quickly as if it had been fresh pizza.
"Dude, eat too fast and you'll throw up, and I'm not feeling enough guilt to clean up if you do." They all know that's a lie.
"I think I just really needed the boost." Donnie carefully positions himself to be laying down a little more, and then his face falls. He groans. "Oh, no, does this mean I need a whole keratin-heavy diet for the whole recovery?"
"Not a bad idea, my son."
"WHA!" Donnie jolts at the sudden presence of their Sensei, and immediately curls up in pain from the sudden movement. Raph sits up like he's going to move in to help, but Donnie waves him off. "Fine, fine, just startled."
"Let me check if the cut reopened." Donnie forces himself to uncurl just long enough for Leo to check. Once he's given the All Clear, he curls up again.
"I'm sorry, Donatello, I did not mean to scare you." Splinter lays a comforting hand on Donnie's shoulder. "I believe you and Raphael are on the right track. Since your shell itself seems to be healing just as your skin does, we must give it all the help we can."
"So... egg pizza?" Mikey suggests. "With lots of onions?"
"Maybe we should all read that article before we set him on a whole diet around it," Leo suggests. "There has to be more than onions and eggs to help him."
"Yeah, I'm not living in the same sewer as him if that's all he eats, it smells bad enough down here."
"Ha-ha, Raph." Donnie rolls his eyes. "That would make me sick, not help me heal. There is such a thing as over-abundance."
Mikey digs a piece of pizza out of a nearby box. "Sounds made-up."
Donnie sighs, and winces again. A sharp pain shoots through his gut.
"Painkiller?" Raph's voice is a little muffled through the ringing in Donnie's ears, but he can still make it out, and nods. Moments later his head is tilted back and painkillers are popped in, along with some water.
They aren't very strong, just what April could buy from her local pharmacy without a prescription. If he had gone to a hospital, he'd probably be on some of the strongest they have.
But he can't go to the hospital.
Freak
Mutant
Mistake
So he has to deal with it.
... But it could be worse. It could always be worse. He shouldn't have to settle for It Could Be Worse.
"Hey, bro, you're spacin' out again!" Mikey waves his hand in front of Donnie's face. "Dude, you spaced out so hard your eyes blanked out!"
"Huh?" Donnie blinks a few times. "Oh, right, s-sorry. Just um. Thinking."
"When aren't you?" Raph mumbles.
"If that's meant to be an insult, it was terrible. If it's a compliment, then thank you."
"Whichever you want it to be, man."
Donnie leans his head back and closes his eyes, relaxing into the sounds of the lair.
At least if he has to be a mutant freak, he can be one with his family. Again, it's not as bad as it could be.
It could be...
He stifles a groan as another sharp pain shoots through his torso, and he hugs himself tighter like he's trying to push his shell back together by force.
...
... A lot worse.