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“You know,” Stede said over their evening brandy. “You have very kind eyes.”
Ed blinked. He’d been telling a story about disembowelment. Not one he’d carried out personally—though he did love a good maiming—but still. It was a story with guts and gore galore.
He was positive no one had ever called his eyes ‘kind’ before. Usually they were described as ‘glowing with the fires of hell’ or something like that.
“Kind?”
“Yes,” Stede said, a little dreamily, and Ed wondered just how many brandys they’d actually had. Two? Five? “I think only you and Arthur have ever looked at me so kindly.”
Ed frowned. “Arthur? Who’s Arthur?”
A little moue of sadness came onto Stede’s face. “I had to leave him back home. When I became a pirate.”
“Yes, but who—” Ed began, but Stede cut him off, his eyes widening.
“I’m so sorry, Edward! I interrupted your story. Do carry on. You were saying that entrails are awfully hard to scrub off a deck.”
“Well, depends how long you let them sit,” Ed said gruffly. “All that viscera can really stain.”
“Oh, yes, I’m sure!” Stede said brightly, topping up their glasses.
Arthur and his kind eyes were forgotten—by Stede, at least.
But after Ed said goodnight and stumbled into the jam room, where he’d been kipping these last few weeks, he lay awake long into the night, wondering about this other man in Stede’s past, who looked at him with kind eyes.
“So, what do you know about this Arthur, then?”
Ed leaned as casually as he could against the ship’s rail.
Lucius yelped.
Apparently it wasn’t casual enough.
“Where did you come from?” Lucius demanded, fluttering a hand in front of his heart. “I swear, we need to get you a little bell or something.”
“You’re deflecting,” Ed accused, eyes narrowed.
“Deflecting? From what?”
Did he seem more nervous than usual? Ed thought he might seem more nervous than usual. Like he was hiding something.
“From Arthur.”
“Who on earth is Arthur?”
Ed grit his teeth. “Arthur. Stede’s friend or whatever. From back home.”
“Friend or…whatever?” Lucius asked, his voice sliding into a sly drawl.
Ed did not like how perceptive the scribe was.
“Well I don’t know, do I?” He ground out. “That’s why I’m asking.”
A smug smile lingered on Lucius’s face long enough for Ed to think about stabbing him, before he relented. “I’ve never heard him mention an Arthur.”
“You sure?” Ed leaned in close, eyebrow furrowed, eyes fierce, lips pulled back in a snarl. “Very, very sure?”
Lucius had the decency to look a bit afraid, but not as afraid as he should have been. Other people would be pissing themselves at that point. Lucius only took one very small step backwards.
“Yes, very very sure. Stede has never mentioned any men back home.”
Ed let out a little huff of relief. “Well, okay then—”
“Though, to be honest, Stede has never really mentions back home at all, except when he’s talking about his wardrobe. Like, I have very little idea what he was getting up to before he woke up one day and thought, ‘I’ll be a pirate.’”
“Oh, right.”
That was less comforting. If no one knew anything about Stede before, that meant he had a mysterious past. And everyone knew that mysterious pasts were usually chock-full of men. Handsome men. With kind eyes.
“Who else might know something—something useful?” Ed demanded.
“Well, there’s no need to be rude,” Lucius huffed. “And I don’t know. I would have thought that you’d know all about Stede. He talks to you more than anyone else on this boat, thank god.” The last words were added sotto voce. Ed ignored them.
Lucius was right. He should know. They were co-captains, after all! Compadres! Best friends!
So if Ed didn’t know…it must mean Stede was deliberately keeping it from him.
That talk of Arthur had only slipped out because Stede was drunk. He was hiding secret men in his past.
“Whoa, what is happening right now?” Lucius’s voice cut through the haze of Ed’s rage. “You just got like one thousand times scarier, somehow. Like, in the eyes? Or the mouth? Maybe the beard?”
“Nothing,” Ed grunted, spinning on his heels. “Nothing is happening.”
Except for Stede hiding secret boyfriends from Ed.
Ed watched Stede, trying to see some hint of the mysterious, dark, sexy past the man was hiding.
Unfortunately, it turned out Stede was remarkably good at hiding mysterious, dark, sexy pasts. He gave no indication that he had any secrets beyond the closets and passages built into the ship.
Ed had no idea how to proceed. Usually when he wanted to find something out – the location of loot, for instance – he used threats and knives and threatening knives.
But stabbing a knife next to Stede’s face didn’t seem like it would do any good.
“Sooooo….” He began one evening, fidgeting on the settee.
“Hmm?” Stede looked at him from where he was pouring their nightcap, one eyebrow raised.
The crafty bastard. He was the picture of innocence.
Really, Ed could stand to learn some of this stuff from him. It might come in handier than forks and melon spoons.
“What was your home like?” Ed hoped he sounded nonchalant. He wasn’t sure. “Was it…as lavish as this?”
“Oh.” Stede let out a little laugh, handing Ed a brandy. “The ship, though I love it dearly, would count as ‘roughing it’ for most of my set back home.”
“Your set,” Ed said eagerly. “Your friends and what not? What were they like?”
Stede’s brow creased. “Well. I wouldn’t call them friends, really.” He drooped, before perking up again. “Not like the ones I’ve found here!”
Ed stifled a groan. Normally he loved to hear that Stede preferred his life at sea, but those sentiments didn’t get him any closer to an understanding of Stede’s mysterious past.
“But, um, you must have had some people. Back home. Who you spent time with?”
The sadness in Stede’s eyes only increased. “Really only Mary and the children.”
There was that name again. The one that Stede has whispered in his sleep. Ed never had found out who the mysterious woman was.
“Mary?” he repeated. “And the children?”
Surprise bloomed on Stede’s face. “Um. My wife? And daughter and son?”
Ed didn’t realize the glass slipped from his hand until it hit the floor, shattering into a veritable chandelier of glittering glass.
“Oh!” Stede exclaimed.
Ed didn’t even look down at the mess at his feet. “You’re married??”
“Did you…” Stede set his own glass down delicately. “Did you not know that?”
“So, yes,” Stede addressed the crew. Ed had called an emergency ‘all hands on deck’ meeting. “I am married.”
Ed scanned the group for reactions, gratified to see that every jaw was on the floor. Even Jim looked dumbstruck.
“To a…woman?” Lucius asked.
Stede’s brow furrowed. “Is there any other kind of marriage?”
Several of the longer-term pirates opened their mouths, but Ed silenced them with a look. Now was not the moment to explain ‘matelotage’ to Stede.
Lucius held up his hands. “Just checking.”
“Like, on purpose?” Oluwande asked. “You married her on purpose?”
“Well…” Stede flushed. “You see…our families were very insistent.”
“Ahhh!” A chorus of understanding rose up from the crew.
“Yeah, that checks out.” Lucius nodded. “Well, good for you.”
“Good…for me?”
“For getting out of it!” Lucius clapped his hand on Stede’s back as the rest of the crew joined in congratulating him on his escape.
“Well,” Stede said, turning back towards the captains’ quarters. “That was odd.”
Ed pursed his lips. All he had learned was that everyone else was equally surprised about the wife and kids, and that the wife and kids did not seem to preclude any number of mysterious, handsome men in Stede’s past. He was still at square one.
Except not really, because it turned out that Stede’s secret marriage had piqued Lucius’s curiosity.
“I know who Arthur is,” Lucius whispered one night as he sailed past Ed on the deck.
Ed whipped around so fast he might have sprained something. “Ow. I mean. What??”
Lucius looked so smug Ed briefly thought about pushing him overboard. “I said, I know who Arthur is.”
“How?”
“Um. I asked Stede?”
Of course the scribe was a lot less circumspect than Ed was when it came to asking Stede about potentially delicate topics.
Ed loomed closer. “So what did he say?”
“Nuh-uh,” Lucius shook his wooden finger in Ed’s face. Probably a good choice. If it had been one of the flesh ones, he might have lost it. “I really think you should ask him about it yourself.”
“I can’t just ask—” Ed began, but Lucius cut him off.
“I can tell you one thing. Arthur worked in the stables.” Lucius leaned in, eyes sparkling. “And I hear he was an excellent ride. “
Ed’s brain imploded. His vision swam. His heart might have stopped.
By the time his vision cleared, Lucius was long gone.
Ed staggered over to the rail and clung on for dear life.
Stede had been shagging a stable hand.
It was ridiculous. It was preposterous. It was an image that would be seared into Ed’s brain for the rest of his life.
He considered throwing himself overboard.
Ed had assumed that he and Stede were naturally moving towards…something. Men didn’t gaze at each other in the moonlight, cry in each other’s arms, and become co-captains without it meaning something.
He figured that Stede just needed time, because he was a gentleman.
But now…
Now he knew Stede had been shagging the help. And more than that! This Arthur who was an excellent ride – Ed gazed longingly into the cold dark oblivion of the waves below him and wondered how long it would take a man in head-to-toe leather to drown – also had kind eyes.
It wasn’t just shagging. It wasn’t just a mysterious past.
No. Stede was in love.
With Arthur.
“Boss?” Fang’s tentative voice cut through the night. “Are you okay?”
Ed straightened up. “Yes. I’m fine. Why?”
“Well, it’s just that you’re crying? Like, a lot? I could hear you from all the way across the ship?”
“I’m not crying,” Ed said firmly, rubbing his hands over the moisture on his face. “I got splashed.”
“Splashed?”
“Yeah, a whale swam by and splashed me. Fucker. You know what whales are like.”
“Right…” Fang said hesitantly. “So, you’re fine?”
Ed drew himself up. “I’m Blackbeard. Of course I’m fine.”
Ed was not fine.
He was drunk, for one thing. And he might, possibly, maybe be crying again.
He just felt so betrayed. Not that there was anything to betray. Because he and Stede were just friends. Acquaintances. Co-workers.
Not like Stede and Arthur. With his wonderful eyes.
Ed was surprised to find himself in front of the captain’s quarters, already banging his fist on the door. He swayed on his feet, clutching to the bottle of rum like a lifeline.
The door swung open.
“Ed?” Stede’s eyes—and Stede was the one with the wonderful eyes. Fuck Arthur. He couldn’t hold a candle to how expressive Stede’s eyes were—Stede’s eyes moved quickly from surprise, to pleasure, to shock as he took in Ed’s appearance. “Are you oka—"
“Why are you even here?” Ed demanded, stumbling into the cabin.
Stede looked around himself in exaggerated wonder. “In my cabin?”
“Here!” Ed insisted, gesturing wildly and sloshing rum over himself, Stede, and everything else in a three-foot radius. “Why don’t you just go home if you miss it so much??”
Stede’s wonderful expressive face moved registered shock, devastation, and then confusion once again. “Wait, who says I miss it?”
“You did! You miss your lover.” The word was like poison on Ed’s lips. He felt like they’d shrivel up and turn black just from speaking it.
“Mary?”
“No, not Mary!” Ed reeled, catching himself on Stede’s desk. “Of course not Mary! Your lover! Your boy toy! Your secret shagging servant!”
“My…? Have you been reading some of my books, Edward?” Stede’s eyes slid guiltily towards his library. “Because, while entertaining, those are not representative of the reality of being landed gentry.”
Ed wouldn’t be distracted. He had a one-track mind. “Did you read them with him?”
Now Stede was starting to look as exasperated as Ed felt. “Him who?”
“Him! Arthur!”
Ed had heard people described as ‘dumbstruck’ before. He had thought he’d even seen it…on the faces of the Dutch merchants as they witnessed Stede’s fuckery, for instance.
But nothing and nobody had ever looked as thoroughly dumbstruck as Stede in that moment.
“Arthur?” he repeated. “My horse?”
“Your what now?”
“My favourite horse on the estate? Why is everyone talking about Arthur all of a sudden? Lucius asked about him today, too!”
Ed sat down on the desk with a thump. His head was swimming with the rum and his face was still wet with tears.
“Arthur…is…a horse?”
“Of course he’s a horse!”
“But—” Ed shook his head wildly. “Lucius said he worked in the stable! He said he was an excellent ride!”
“Actually, he was a carriage horse, so there was very little reason to ride him,” Stede corrected. “You know, he mostly took Mary into town for shopping and things like that. But I guess you could say he ‘worked’ in the stable.”
Ed let out an incredulous laugh. “Mate, are you trying to tell me I’ve been fucking dying of jealousy over a horse?”
“Jealousy?” Something sparked in Stede’s eyes. “Why were you jealous?”
Ed clutched tighter to the rum. “Who said I was jealous?”
“What? You did, literally just now…”
“I’m Blackbeard. I don’t get jealous. I certainly don’t cry over handsome gentlemen.”
“Edward…” Stede’s hand was on his face, his thumb gently swiping through the moisture on Ed’s cheeks.
“Edward,” he said again, so tender Ed had to slam his eyes shut against the onslaught. “Really? Over me?”
“What do you mean, ‘really’?” Ed grumbled. Stede’s hand was still on his face, cupping his cheek. Ed was too drunk to resist leaning into it, that soft, warm hand. “You’re you. You’re Stede.”
A self-deprecating chuckle. “Exactly. I’m Stede.”
Ed forced his eyes open so that he could locate Stede’s other hand and grasp it desperately between his own. “Mate, I was convinced you had a whole auxiliary closet full of sexy lovers in your past. I was sure you had shagged most of Bridgetown, because of course they’d all want you. It was just a matter of whether you wanted them back.”
Stede looked down at the hand that Ed cradled and then back up at Ed. “And does that go for pirates, too?”
“What?”
“That’s it’s just a matter of whether I want them back?”
Ed had never felt so vulnerable in his life. But he figured if you recently accused a man of shagging a horse, then you owed him some honesty. “Yeah, man. It does.”
And then Stede was kissing him, more gently than he had ever been kissed before.
“Um,” Stede murmured against his lips. “You should probably know I’ve never done this before. With a man or a horse.”
Ed laughed, dropping the rum to get both hands on Stede’s waist. “Don’t worry. We’ll have you in the saddle in no time.”
He swallowed Stede’s horrified groan up in another kiss.
Catcalls burst out from all quarters as Ed sauntered onto the deck the next morning.
“Sounded like you gave Arthur some real competition for ‘best ride’ last night, huh Captain!” Lucius grinned.
Ed paused. “Hey mate, can you swim?”
Lucius frowned. “Of course. Why?”
Ed shoved him overboard.