Archive of Our Own

Min Yoongi had never really seen the point in labels. 

He liked what he liked and he didn’t like what he didn’t like. It seemed simple enough. He’d always been a straight to the point person- but some things couldn’t always be separated into the two categories of like and dislike.  

Sometimes there was an overlap between the two in a way that Yoongi struggled to make sense of. When there was something that Yoongi didn’t entirely understand, he didn’t see much of a point trying to label it. So, he let it be as it was. 

Yoongi’s sexuality had always been like that. 

He had always been attracted to women. Tall girls with short hair and piercings, or short girls with long hair and curled eyelashes. From the models he’d see on TV who wore a sense grace and elegance, to the fans he’d see line the streets, wearing bright smiles and delight. 

He liked women but he also liked men. Strong men with sharp jawlines, fashionable style and loud laughs. As well as, peaceable men with soft features, kind eyes and warm smiles.  

At the end of the day, all Yoongi wanted someone who was nice enough and someone who would understand him. Whoever that person ended up being and whatever gender that person had didn’t really matter to him. There’s a multitude of reasons to fall in love with someone, however gender was never an excluding factor for him. 

Gay? Bi? Pan?  

To Yoongi it didn’t really matter. He was what he was; liked what he liked, and that was that.  

Though, it hadn’t always been that simple for him. It hadn’t always been so easy for him to be confident in himself or not give a shit what other people think. He spent years caring about what other people thought, debating if what he felt was even real or if he was just lying to himself. He liked girls after all, didn’t he? 

It took time, but Yoongi is happy to be able to say that he’s confident in who he is today. After all the long years of discovering who he was, learning to accept himself, and being confident in his sexuality, Yoongi supposed his only next step was to come out...an extensively delayed step at that. 

However, Yoongi had never really seen the point in coming out either. 

What, just because he liked men, he had to gather around his closest friends, and tell them something highly personal about himself, all the while being afraid that they might reject him?? It didn’t sound too appealing to him.  

Though, that didn’t mean Yoongi didn’t understand people who wanted to come out. It made sense to want to show the people you loved and trusted another part to yourself even if it was scary. Something like that took a lot of courage and Yoongi would never discourage anyone who wanted to come out. He’d always been a strong believer that people should do whatever the hell it is they want (as long as it wasn’t hurting anyone). 

But personally, Yoongi didn’t want the all the unwanted attention that came with coming out. In a way, it made him feel ostracized. It wasn’t some monumental moment just because he wasn’t only attracted to girls. Straight people weren't expected to explain their sexuality, so why was he? 

However, if there was anyone that he trusted enough to come out to, it was his members. They were the kindest people he knew, as well as the people he’s known for the longest. They stuck together through thick and thin; they’ve seen him at his lowest and at his highest, and they were practically family.  

So, why hadn’t he told them? 

They’ve always been there for Yoongi, so don’t they deserve to know? 

But that’s the thing; he didn’t owe anyone anything. No matter how close they were he wasn’t inclined to telling them anything. Maybe he had his reasons for keeping quiet. Whether it was because he doubted their reactions, wasn’t ready to talk about it, or was simply too scared- it didn’t really matter. 

Or maybe there was no reason at all. Maybe he just liked to keep some things to himself. Whatever the reason, he still hadn’t told his members or hardly anyone for that matter. And that was perfectly fine. 

However, recently, Yoongi began to wonder what would happen if he did tell them. He wondered what would happen if he tested the waters just to see what it’d feel like to be out.  

Yoongi found that a part of himself still wanted to tell them.  

After a lot of thinking, Yoongi came to a conclusion. He was comfortable with his sexuality but still didn’t want to officially come out. He didn’t mind keeping it to himself but maybe he still wanted someone to know. It was almost like the thought of someone else knowing about him and accepting him was validating in a sense. However, it wouldn’t be for the others- but rather for himself. 

He didn’t have to, but he wanted to. And Yoongi didn’t believe he had anything to be ashamed of. 

So, if a situation ever came up, Yoongi decided he wouldn’t hide anymore. He wouldn’t force it but he’d let it come naturally. He wouldn’t make it a grand reveal, but if there was ever a reason to mentioning his sexuality, he wouldn’t bother trying to hide it. His members loved him for him and it shouldn’t change anything.  

However, it did make for a few interesting moments. 

It was a bleak afternoon, and Yoongi found himself in the studio, working alongside Namjoon to complete a track. It wasn’t too unusual for Yoongi to be seen in the studio, producing a song, or playing with a track. It also wasn’t too unusual for Namjoon to be seen, working and wasting away in the studio- he was just as bad as Yoongi when it came to overworking himself.  

So, it wasn’t a surprise when somedays the two boys would cross paths, and decide to work on a track together. Today was one of those days. 

“What do you have so far?” Namjoon’s voice called out, slightly muffled by Yoongi’s headphones. Yoongi hit pause on the track he was working on, and slid his headphones down, shifting his attention to Namjoon. 

“I fixed some of the issues with the base but the tempo still seems off,” Yoongi sighed, passing the headphones over to Namjoon so he could listen for himself. 

Namjoon went silent as he listened to the music, tapping his fingers to the beat until the song finished. Now, sliding the headphones off, Namjoon held a similar conflicted expression. 

“Yeah, you’re right. The base is good but...somethings clashing.” 

Yoongi nodded, lost in thought, struggling to figure out how to fix this track. He went to reach back for the headphones before Namjoon stopped him. 

“Before you try, let me see if I can fix it?” Namjoon offered, scooting his chair closer to the monitor. 

Yoongi shrugged, with an indifferent expression before, and rolled his chair back to give Namjoon space to work. Honestly, he didn’t really think Namjoon could fix the track, he’d already tried everything and he was beginning to debate on scrapping the song all together. However, he was pleasantly surprised when he heard the track again after Namjoon’s intervention. 

Maybe this song could work. 

“Pretty good right?” Namjoon said with a, playful smirk. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes but couldn’t resist the urge to smile. 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s okay.” 

Before could Namjoon turn back to his corner of the studio, Yoongi stopped him. 

“What about your lyrics, how are they coming along?” 

Instead of answering, Namjoon held out a sheet of paper for Yoongi to take. Yoongi accepted the paper and scanned his eyes across the lyrics. 

“I was thinking we could use this, or part of this as a b-track for one of the groups new songs. But I’m not too sure what the company will think.” Namjoon explained once Yoongi had finished reading. 

The lyrics were amazing, of course. Yoongi wouldn’t expect anything less from Namjoon, the boy was an amazing artist and lyricist and Yoongi didn’t see a reason their company wouldn’t accept it.  

The song was a love song, the main premise of the song being about a man chasing after a woman but ending up getting heartbroken, which was nothing new for BTS. It was a good song and a good concept- however, the highly gendered lyrics sort of...irked Yoongi.  

Of course, there was nothing wrong with heteroromantic relationships, but that’s all that was ever represented in mainstream media. And maybe it really shouldn’t bother Yoongi as much as it did- but Yoongi knew what it felt like to not be included. He wanted the people who listened to their songs to be able to sing the same lyrics despite whatever orientation that may have. 

“So, what do you think, hyung?” Namjoon prompted after a moment of Yoongi’s silence. Yoongi blinked at the sudden attention when he realized he must have spaced out. 

“Ah, right. It’s a great song, it’s paced well and the lyrics show a lot of emotion. It matches our concept well, so I don’t know why the company would reject it. I honestly wouldn’t do much to change it but...” Yoongi paused, taking a moment to think on what to say next. 

How was he supposed to tell this to Namjoon?  

It really wasn’t that big of a deal, the song itself was fine. Should Yoongi really make him rewrite the song just because the lyrics sorta annoyed him? Plus, it wasn’t like changing these lyrics would do anything change the thousands of songs that were gendered.  

And in telling Namjoon this, he might accidentally out himself... 

Yoongi shook his head, shooing away his previous thoughts. Yoongi told himself he’d no longer try to hide who he was. He trusted Namjoon, and Namjoon was a pretty open-minded person. Saying this didn’t really cost him much, and if anything, it actually did something to help their fans. So, there was no need for him to worry. 

It still didn’t make him any less nervous. 

“...there’s just one thing I’d maybe think about with the lyrics.” He started slowly. 

Namjoon tilted his head, patiently waiting for Yoongi’s critique. 

“It’s nothing to worry about, really.” Yoongi reassured before Namjoon had the chance to worry. 

“I’ve just seen some comments from the fans that made me think about things a bit differently,” Yoongi says, unconsciously shifting the focus from him onto their fans. Though, technically it wasn’t untrue. 

“It’s just that these lyrics use a lot of feminine pronouns when talking about the love interest and...” 

Yoongi found his gaze shifting down to his feet as he continued. 

“Not every person can relate to that. So, maybe I’d consider making the song more gender neutral.” Yoongi finished, keeping an impartial composure. 

Namjoon thought to himself for a moment before humming in agreement. 

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true. We do have all kinds of fans,” Namjoon started, and Yoongi nearly let out a sigh of relief. 

“I mean, what if there was another girl singing this song?” Namjoon attempted at a joke but Yoongi fell silent. 

Any progress Yoongi thought they made had to be completely lost now. 

“...that’s not exactly what I meant,” Yoongi said, cutting through the awkward silence that settled over the two after the failed joke. 

Namjoon stayed silent, so Yoongi had no choice but to continue. 

“People of all genders have different preferences and ideas when it comes to love,” Yoongi took in a breath. He continued and let the words come out before he had a chance to think about it. 

“Personally, I-I don’t really see gender when it comes to love.” 

There, he said it. He finally let the cat out of the bag. This wasn’t exactly how he expected things to go down but then again, he didn’t want his coming out to feel so conventional, so here he was. 

How was he supposed to feel again? Scared, and frightened, or prideful and relived? Yoongi honestly didn’t feel much of anything. Not until he finally lifted his gaze to look Namjoon in the eyes. 

Namjoon didn’t look hateful, disgusted or upset, so Yoongi took that as a good sign. Instead, Namjoon had a thoughtful gaze along with a hint of surprise that he tried and failed to mask. 

“You’re right, there’s army all around the world, all with different backgrounds and sexualities. We want everyone to feel included. I guess I hadn’t really thought of it like that before, it’s a good thing you brought it up.” Namjoon admitted honestly. 

Yoongi nodded, not sure how to respond with so many thoughts going through his mind. He’s just glad Namjoon seemed to take this well. With the conversation dying out, Yoongi was about to turn back to his work but Namjoon’s voice interrupted him. 

“Sorry, I made that joke earlier.” 

A beat of silence. 

“Don’t worry about it, Joon-ah.” Yoongi brushed off, trying to ignore the way his heart melted just from Namjoon doing the bare minimum.  

A few moments went by with the two boys working separately, giving Yoongi time to think about the previous interaction. The two worked in silence until another voice called out, quieter this time. 

“Hey, Yoongi?” 

“Hm?” 

“Thanks for trusting me with what you said earlier. I hope you know; I’ll always support you.” 

A slight lift of his lips, increasingly grew into a large sincere smile that spread across Yoongi’s face. Yoongi didn’t reply but the smile on his face was enough.  

Yoongi hadn’t been so sure about sharing himself to the other members before, but with the light flutter in his chest, Yoongi couldn’t feel any better with his decision. Perhaps Yoongi underestimated the after-effect feeling of those who came out. The feeling of being accepted . He had to admit it was nice. 

Maybe telling his members wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen. 

A new restaurant had opened in town and Jungkook had made it his primary goal to drag Yoongi there to eat. And more importantly; to force Yoongi to pay for his lunch. 

“Are you really going to use your hyung for his money like that?” Yoongi complained as followed Jungkook to the entrance of the restaurant. 

“Hey, I won the bet fair and square, and you owe me one.” Jungkook shrugged with a devious smile forming on his face. Yoongi wanted to be upset with Jungkook but with the younger boy’s hopeful eyes and toothy grin it was hard to stay mad. 

Yoongi, more than anything, regretted betting that Jimin would take longer to get ready than Hoseok. Jimin usually took hour long showers, so he thought it was safe to place his bet on Jimin. How was he supposed to know that on this specific day. Hoseok would take a particularly long time to prepare for dance rehearsals? 

With nothing to argue back with Yoongi settled on an irritated huff.  

Once they entered the restaurant, Yoongi was finally able to take a good look around the place Jungkook so insistently fought to go to. It was a fairly sized building, with an open floor plan, comfortable chairs, and hanging lights adorning each table. The restaurant held a warm yet classy vibe that was sure to attract many youthful customers. Yoongi could see why Jungkook wanted to come here. 

As the two men walked up to the receptionist booth, they were greeted by a smiling young lady. The reception had dark long wavy hair, kind eyes, and an award-winning smile. Her entire look was completed with a black apron tied behind her back. It was an understatement to say she was just beautiful. 

“Welcome in! Would you prefer to dine in or order to go?” She asked, with an airy tune laced through her voice.  

If Yoongi thought that he had it bad for this receptionist, Jungkook had it worse. The other boy was immediately given away from the blush creeping onto his ears and the hand he ran through his hair.  

“We’d love to dine in,” Jungkook answered, not sparring Yoongi a glance as his eyes were fixed on the employee. Yoongi couldn’t blame him.  

“Of course! How many will be joining your group today?” She replied, seemingly taking an interest to the man in front of her. 

“Just two.”  

“Perfect, a table should be available for you two in just a moment. I’ll have your waiter attend to you shortly.” The woman said, handing the both of them a menu. 

The two thanked her before being led to their table by another employee. The moment they were properly seated and left to look at their menus, Jungkook turned to face Yoongi with a knowing look. 

Yoongi spoke up first. 

“She was...” He trailed off trying to find an accurate description. 

“Beautiful.” Jungkook finished. 

Yoongi could do nothing more than dumbly nod. 

“I’m sure I saw her checking me out before we left.” Jungkook continued, prompting Yoongi to roll his eyes. 

“Mhm, are you sure you’re not just trying to see things?” Yoongi teased. 

“Hyung!”  

Yoongi couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at Jungkook’s flustered state. Jungkook sighed, shifting his gaze to the side of the room as he spoke. 

“Man, I wish I could’ve asked for her number but...” 

Dating bans.  

Yet another thing Yoongi didn’t see the point in.  

Who was a company to keep someone from falling in love? What, just because he was an idol, he’d be forced to stay single? How could a company decide whether or not he was allowed to be happy in a relationship? Just because he sang and danced meant wasn’t allowed to love?? 

That was plain bullshit if Yoongi had any say. Taking away someone's right to love was like taking away their right to be a human .  

“Hello, my name is Daehyun and I’ll be your waiter for today,” A new voice announced itself, cutting Yoongi away from his thoughts. 

Yoongi looked up to see where this voice was coming from only to be met with a tall, lithe man wearing the same black uniform. He looked around Yoongi’s age, maybe even a little bit younger, with brown eyes, straight teeth, and a peak of a tattoo rolling up underneath his sleeve. His hair was dark and neatly slicked back aside from the two strands of hair adorning his front of his face. 

Gosh, was this place a restaurant or a modeling agency??  

“Are you two ready to order?” The waiter; Daehyun questioned. His voice was smooth but went a few octaves lower from what would be expected. Yoongi was sure his heart must’ve skipped a beat. 

“…what would you recommend?” Yoongi questioned once he was able to find his voice 

The man began listing off popular dishes and specials before turning to Yoongi with an inquisitive glint in his eye. 

“Though personally, I love the dak-ttongjip It takes an acquired taste but it seems like something you’d enjoy.” 

Yoongi gave a half smile and a nod as he looked towards the waiter. 

“I’m always willing to try something new.”  

The man nodded keeping his eye on Yoongi a moment longer, before turning to Jungkook. 

“And for you?” 

“I’ll take the same thing as him” Jungkook answered. 

“Of course. Your food should be served shortly.” He replied smoothly. He took both boys’ menus, before flashing Yoongi a smile. 

Suddenly, Yoongi didn’t mind losing this bet. 

The waiter was true to his word and the food came out faster than Yoongi had imagined.    

“This is pretty good,” Jungkook said, already digging into the food. 

Yoongi instinctively nodded, taking another bite. The food was good, but a bit different from what he normally ate. However, Yoongi never said no to something just because it was different. After all, you’ll never know if you like something until you get taste. 

“Anyways, what did you think?” Jungkook asked, shoveling another spoon full of chicken into his mouth. 

“Huh?” 

“Of the girl,” Jungkook clarified. 

Right .  

Yoongi had nearly forgotten about the receptionist after taking a look at their waiter.   

“Oh yeah, she was gorgeous but...” Yoongi stopped mid-sentence to take another bite. 

She was a very pretty woman- certainly the type of girl Yoongi could see himself falling for. However, Yoongi couldn’t get the thought of that waiter out of his head. 

“Damn, that waiter was really hot.” He absentmindedly replied, gazing to the side of the room where the waiter had left. Yoongi was in such a daze he hadn’t even realized what he said.  

“W-what?”  

Yoongi whipped his head around to face Jungkook, when he realized what he accidentally let slip. Normally, this is the part where Yoongi would skillfully skip around the truth and backtrack away from what he said. 

But Yoongi didn’t have to do that. Not anymore. 

“I said; our waiter was really hot.” He repeated calmly and clearly, leaving no room for misunderstanding. 

“You think he’s hot...?” Jungkook questioned, with an unreadable tone. Yoongi couldn’t quite decipher the other boy’s reaction which unsettled him to say the least. 

“Yeah, I mean, did you see his tattoos?” Yoongi continued talking normally, hoping Jungkook would react to the causality of his tone. 

Yoongi could always go back and say he didn’t really mean it- but what was the point in hiding it anymore? He didn’t want it to be some sacred secret just because he happened to like men. It shouldn’t have to be a big deal. He only hoped Jungkook could see it the same way. 

“It’s not a problem, is it?” Yoongi hesitantly asked breaking his nonchalant tone when Jungkook didn’t respond. 

Jungkook blinked before recollecting himself. 

“Ah- n-no, no, hyung. Of course, it’s not a problem, I was just surprised was all.” He stuttered out in a rush, quick to reassure Yoongi once he snapped out of his thoughts. 

Yoongi gave a hum in acknowledgment and nodded, letting out a small smile to which Jungkook returned. 

“And yeah, no, you’re right. I mean, now that I think about it every person working here looks like they could be an idol.” Jungkook continued with the conversation. 

“So, is that why you wanted to come here so bad?” Yoongi teased, easily falling back into their playful banter. 

The tips of Jungkook’s ears redden red as he scrambled to explain himself.  

“What-- No, I just saw the reviews and--” 

A laugh escaped Yoongi as he recognized Jungkook's embarrassment. Before he knew it, the two of them were laughing, goofing off, and talking about whatever topics came to mind . After what he'd said, Yoongi couldn't be happier to return to normalcy and of course, to be able to enjoy time with his favorite maknae.    

It was a lazy Saturday evening and the boys had nothing to do except enjoy their time off from their busy schedules. Which seemed like a great opportunity or Yoongi to finish reading that book or maybe even finish writing those lyrics? 

However, Yoongi couldn’t bring himself to get himself off of his bed. They’d been swamped with work and busy schedules all week. Yoongi knew he could be doing something productive with his time, however, taking a nap or simply doing nothing seemed like such a better option. 

Yoongi was in his room, contemplating his options, when Jimin knocked on his door.  

So much for productivity. 

Yoongi sighed and let out a short ‘come in’ before Jimin entered his room. 

“Hey, Yoongi-hyung,” Jimin started, intruding his way into Yoongi’s space.  

From the second Jimin walked in, Yoongi could already tell he wanted something from him. He raised his eyebrow the moment he saw Jimin eying the new clothes he’d recently bought and neatly tucked into his closet. 

“What do you want?” Yoongi said, cutting straight to the point and through Jimin’s obvious bull-shit. 

“Taehyung and I are going to watch a movie in my room, come watch with us!” He invited, with a convincing smile that wasn’t going to work on Yoongi. 

“Okay, and what do you really want?” 

Jimin deflated as soon as Yoongi saw through the cracks of his true intentions. He just was too easy to read. 

“Well...” 

“No.” Yoongi interrupted before Jimin could even start. 

“Come on hyung! You barely wear that jacket, I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt if I just borrow It once??” He pleaded with a glimmer of hope in his eyes Yoongi immediately wants to crush. 

Yoongi has lost too many clothes to Jimin claiming he just wants to ‘borrow them’. He won’t be fooled again. 

“Yeah right, get out of my room,” Yoongi rolled his eyes, leading Jimin away from his closet and out of his door. 

“Fine, I’m going, I’m going!” Jimin exclaimed as he’s escorted away. 

“But the offer still stands, we’re still deciding on what to watch but you’re always welcome to join us.”  He continued before he’d been successfully removed (kicked out) from the room.  

Yoongi sighed to himself once Jimin left and went back to his bed to rethink his options.  

Despite himself, Yoongi found himself in the other boy’s bedroom watching some film with Jimin and Taehyung. As time went on, Yoongi’s book didn’t look as appealing, and the lyrics weren't coming to him. 

Besides, it wasn’t like this was the worst way to spend a Saturday night, anyways. Yoongi actually found himself enjoying whatever drama they’d decided on.  

Jimin laid on left of his bed, while Taehyung laid on the right, resting his head on Jimin. Yoongi was in the middle, using the both of them as his pillows, all while snacking on the popcorn they brought into the room. It was a pretty good setup. 

The boys chatted and laughed as they watched, enjoying the movie and each other, and fighting over the popcorn. However, the movie soon ended and Yoongi began to take notice of just how late it was getting.  

They had an off day today, but the next day would still be swamped with schedules. It’d be smart for them to try and get the most sleep they could. 

Just as Yoongi was about to get up and retreat to his room, Taehyung spoke up. 

“Hey, we should play a game,” Taehyung started, moments after the movie ended. 

“A game? Like what?”  

“Hmm, what about truth or dare? I haven’t played that in a long time.” 

“Me neither, but I don’t know if there’s much that we could do on the dare part, the hyungs are still asleep.” Jimin laughed. 

“Yeah, that’s true.” 

There was a bit of a pause before Taehyung lit up with an idea and turned to face Jimin. 

“What about ‘Never have I ever?’” Taehyung said with a with childish grin creeping onto his face. The two boys shared a look as Jimin nodded with a similar grin forming on his face. 

“Yeah, why not?”  

“What do you think, Yoongi-hyung?” Taehyung asked, turning to Yoongi who hadn’t been able to keep up with their fast decision. 

“What, are we in elementary school or something?” Yoongi teased, earning a shove to the shoulder from Taehyung. 

“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun hyung.” 

“It’s getting later, you know we still have a schedule tomorrow, right?” Yoongi reminded, making Jimin roll his eyes. 

“Wow, you really sound like an old man right now. It’s okay if you’re too old to stay up with us hyung, it’s probably past your bedtime.” Jimin commented, getting a slap to his back in response. 

“Yah!”  

Taehyung and Jimin let out a chorus of snickers, yet Yoongi couldn’t quiete stop the smile that threatened to form on his lips. 

“Fine, I’ll play.” Yoongi finally gave in, as a result of two boy’s bullying, even if he was sure he’d regret this. 

If Yoongi was being honest, he really hadn’t played this game since elementary school...so he may have forgot the rules. But it’s too late to back out now, he’s already agreed. 

“You do know how to play, right hyung?” Taehyung asked with a teasing grin stuck to his face. 

Yoongi didn’t answer, causing the two to go on another tangent about how old Yoongi is becoming. It took Yoongi everything he had to keep himself from letting out another sigh. 

This was going to be a long night. 

Once their laughter died down, Jimin finally sat down and explained the rules to him. The rules were simple enough; say something you’ve never done and if you have put a finger down. The game ends once someone has all ten fingers down. 

“Okay, I’ll start with something easy,” Taehyung volunteered.  

He thought to himself for a minute before pointing his gaze directly at Jimin with a controlled glare. 

“Never have I ever taken my member’s lunch that he was saving for himself in the fridge on a Friday afternoon at 2:26 PM.”  

“Why is that so specific?” Jimin questioned. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know what you did, Jimin.”  

“It didn’t have your name on it! How was I supposed to know it was yours!?” 

“Why else would I have put it specifically-” 

Bickering between the two faded to the background, leaving Yoongi to snort in amusement.   

“I’ll go.” Yoongi decided once the others calmed down. The two nodded waiting for Yoongi to continue when Yoongi turned to Jimin with a small smirk overtaking his features. 

“Never have I ever stolen my member’s clothing and never given it back.”  

“ Why is everything targeted towards me!? ” Jimin cried, dramatically rolling himself to the other side of the bed. 

“ Because you keep stealing people’s stuff! ” Yoongi argued as Taehyung laughed loudly behind him.  

The three went on like that for another round, asking very similar highly pointed questions, until a full round had passed and it was Jimin’s turn to ask a question. 

“Never have I ever been stood up by a girl.” Jimin said, making Taehyung immediately groan. Taehyung reluctantly put down a finger, immediately peaking Yoongi’s interest. 

“Seriously? When did this happen?” Yoongi questioned. 

“I thought we agreed to never talk about this, Jimin,” Taehyung sighed, before begrudgingly turning back to answer Yoongi. 

“It was a long time ago...” He started, with a serious face, and blank stare. “First grade actually.” Taehyung said, the unexpectedness causing Yoongi snort. Taehyung ignored this and continued talking. 

“I gave her a candy and invited her to sit with me at lunch. She’d eat with me every lunch...until another classmate offered her a better candy and she ditched me. Haven’t believed in love since...” He trailed off, sullenly casting his gaze the ground. 

Yoongi nodded in understanding and gave Taehyung a consoling pat to the back. 

“What a sob story.” Jimin said sarcastically. Taehyung rolled his eyes before turning to face Yoongi. 

“Come on Yoongi, you’ve never been stood by a girl up before? I feel like everyone has been at least once.” Taehyung questioned, in an attempt to defend himself. 

Yoongi’s never been stood up by a girl...however, he has been stood up by a guy. Once.  

Before he became a trainee, he had some sort of a fling with this guy and asked him out on a date. Everything was going fine between the two up until the guy suddenly bailed on him and wouldn’t return his calls. It turned out that his friends had found out he was going out with another boy, so out of embarrassment he blocked all connections with Yoongi. 

Yoongi wasn’t too close with the boy so he got over it fairly quickly- but he still never liked thinking about it. Yoongi always thought it wasn’t fair how queer people’s relationships were always at stake, in a way people outside the community would never understand.  

Yoongi put on a smile, shaking himself out of his previous thoughts. 

“Nope, never. I mean, why wouldn’t a girl want to go out with me?” Yoongi joked, eternally groaning at himself for how much he sounded like a very particular hyung. 

“I’ll go next,” Yoongi started. 

“Never have I ever written someone a love song,” he said, immediately causing both Taehyung and Jimin put down a finger. 

Now, of course Yoongi’s written a love song before.  

He’s written many songs about the idea of love, the struggle of loving someone, the feeling of falling in love- but he’s never necessarily written the song thinking about a specific person. When Yoongi’s writing love songs, it’s less about himself and more about putting himself someone else’s shoes, defining the meaning of love, and subconsciously using it as a way to share his ideas and views. 

Not to say that he didn't use his own experiences to write his songs. He’s felt attraction for multiple people, he’s liked multiple people- but love? That was a strong word. Pure devotion and infatuation are something that Yoongi hadn’t yet felt for one person. Yoongi hadn’t found that person yet, and he began to wonder if he ever will. 

‘The one’, as they call it. Yoongi thought, that the idea that out of everyone on Earth there was one person perfectly made for you, sounded pretty idealistic. Yoongi wasn’t even sure if he believed in ‘the one’. But maybe he’d be proven wrong one day. 

“But you’ve written some of our songs, hyung?” Jimin asked, confused. 

“Yeah, but that’s for the group. It’s not written for a specific person.” Yoongi clarified, simplifying the introspective thoughts in his head into a simple sentence. Jimin gave a slow nod at Yoongi’s explanation before Taehyung spoke up. 

“So, who did you write a love song for, Jimin-ah?” 

The question seemed to have caught Jimin off guard because he blinked for a moment, before sneaking a quick glance at Taehyung and subsequently looking away. Jimin awkwardly glanced to the floor as the tips of his ears reddened.  

Jimin’s shift in mannerisms weren't so obvious but it caught Yoongi’s attention right away.  

“It doesn’t really matter anymore,” Jimin started, earning frown from Taehyung. 

“I’m still curious.” Taehyung protested, with a slight pout forming on his lips. 

Jimin sighed, before shifting his gaze back to Taehyung. 

“Well, who did you write a love song for?” He questioned, deflecting the question back to Taehyung. To that, Taehyung went silent, shutting his mouth with an audible clack. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” 

“...it’s my turn.” Taeyung eventually said, quickly moving on from the previous conversation. 

Taehyung’s expression soon shifted in into something more comical, as if he was preparing to tell the funniest joke he’d heard all week- which already had Yoongi concerned for the next thing he was going to say. 

“Never have I ever.... kissed a guy.”  

Ah, so that was the funny joke. 

However, Yoongi didn’t find it too funny. Gay people had always been the butt of the joke for as long as he’d known. It was as if, the idea of two men falling in love was so ridiculous it was hilarious. It was as if, the thought of someone being gay was outrageous and the only acceptable way for it to be mentioned was through a joke.  

People said these kinds of jokes all the time without thinking about it, and maybe Taeyhung really didn’t mean anything by it. But it never failed to serve as a reminder that Yoongi would never be anything more than a ‘joke’. 

Begrudgingly, Yoongi put down a finger down.  

Yoongi turned to face Jimin, wondering if he’d laugh along or react to Yoongi’s answer. Instead, Jimin cast his gaze back to the ground with an uneasy expression. Much to Yoongi’s surprise, Jimin didn’t look amused from the question or surprised from Yoongi’s answer. Instead, he looked...nervous?  

Yoongi could recognize that look anywhere.  

In that moment, everything slowly started to make a little more sense. Yoongi knew how Jimin felt, and he knew it better than anyone. He couldn’t tell you how, but it was a strong gut feeling that told him he was right. But even so, Yoongi knew he shouldn’t just assume- 

Jimin put a finger down. 

Taehyung’s eyes widened slightly as the unexpected shift in the air left him confused and surprised at their answers.  

“Wait, actually?” He wondered aloud, before turning to question Jimin first. 

“When...when did you kiss a guy?” Taehyung asked, with pure curiosity in his tone and maybe a hint of teasing that didn’t settle well with Jimin. Taehyung gazed at Jimin with something more than just curiosity. It wasn’t a negative response yet Yoongi couldn't quiete place his finger on what it was. 

“...It was a long time ago. It was nothing, it didn’t matter.” Jimin averted, biting his tongue and keeping his gaze uncomfortably pointed to the ground. 

“And how long is ‘a long time ago’?” Taehyung pressed, not noticing just how fidgety Jimin was getting. 

“I don’t- I don’t remember.” Jimin said, sneaking an awkward glance at Taehyung. 

“You don’t-?” 

“It was just for a joke, alright?” He finally snapped, and Yoongi could practically feel his defensives go up. 

Taehyung blinked, not having perceived Jimin would get so worked up. He nodded and muttered an apology before glancing at Yoongi. 

“...and you, hyung?” Taehyung asked, more cautious this time. 

“I’ve kissed and dated a lot of people in my life,” Yoongi started, not backing away from the question. Before continuing, Yoongi snuck a glance at Jimin, meeting his eyes for a quick moment.  

Jimin needed to hear this. No one had been there for Yoongi to tell him that it was okay, but maybe Jimin wouldn’t have to go through what he had. 

“I don’t care about the gender. But that shouldn’t really matter, no? It’s not so wrong for a guy to kiss another guy, is it?” Yoongi questioned, feeling bolder knowing he wasn’t just saying this to validate himself but also for someone else. 

Yoongi didn’t believe Taehyung would be a dick about it but he still gave him a challenging glare. Not so much because Yoongi was upset with Taehyung or even worried about his answer strangely enough, but instead, because he was oddly protective of Jimin. 

Taehyung squirmed under Yoongi’s gaze and scrambled to explain. 

“N-no, that’s not what I meant hyung! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off that way. That was probably a stupid question, anyways...” 

Yoongi’s glare immediately faded, as he settled in the relief. Taehyung was fine with it, and he hadn’t meant anything by what he said. Honestly, Yoongi doesn’t know what he’d done if Taehyung wasn’t okay with it but he had other things to think about. 

Looking away from Taehyung, Yoongi almost immediately felt Jimin’s gaze on him. The other boy’s expression was indistinct, however, Jimin was just too easy to read. Jimin had finally looked up from the floor and let his shoulders relax, so Yoongi could only assume he was relieved as well. 

“...you know that I’ll support you, right?” Taehyung asked, the worry clear in his tone. 

Yoongi nodded and gave Taehyung an assuring smile. 

“I know, Taehung-ah. It’s alright, really.”  

A wave of relief visibly passed through the other boy. 

“I can...ask another question if you want?” Taehyung said after a moment. 

Jimin shook his head, jumping into the conversation before Yoongi had a chance to answer. 

“No, that’s okay. Maybe Yoongi-hyung is right, it’s getting later and I’m starting to feel a bit tired.” He cut in, forcing a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 

Taehyung agreed and Yoongi nodded however Yoongi still had his suspicions. The three boys bid each other goodnight before filing out the door. Yoongi was about to follow after Taehyung but stopped in his tracks when he heard Jimin’s voice. 

“...hyung?” He voiced softly, almost as if he didn’t fully want Yoongi to hear him. Yoongi heard anyways. 

Yoongi turned around to face Jimin, who fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. He let out a hum of acknowledgement, encouraging Jimin to continue.  

A momentary silence surrounded the room. Jimin glanced to the side of the room before speaking up. 

“How did you just...say that?” Jimin asked vaguely, but Yoongi knew exactly what he meant. 

Yoongi thought to himself for a moment before he answered Jimin. How did he just say that? It certainly wasn’t easy but he just wanted to be recognized for who he was. He wanted to be able to live confidently in himself around the people he loved. 

“It becomes easier with practice. I actually didn’t want to say anything for a long time but...I just want to be who I am freely.” Yoongi said, taking a seat beside Jimin on his bed. 

Jimin silently nodded his head, however his face told Yoongi he had something he wanted to say but was debating whether or not to say it. Jimin didn’t look like he’d speak anytime soon, so Yoongi spoke for him. 

“You know it’s okay, right?” He said, quickly gaining Jimin’s attention. 

“W-what?” Jimin looked up, meeting Yoongi’s eyes. 

“You don’t have to change who you are for anyone. The way you feel is perfectly normal. You're not a joke.” Yoongi gently confirmed, with a knowing look Jimin couldn’t back away from. 

Jimin gulped, looking down as if he was deciding on what to say. Yoongi waited. 

“I just...I don’t know if I want to tell anyone.” He spoke so quietly; it was only an octave above a whisper. 

“That’s okay, you don’t need to.” Yoongi replied so easily it took Jimin off guard. 

“...but aren’t I supposed to?” He questioned, uncertainty seeping through his tone.  

Yoongi shook his head. 

“You never have to tell anyone. Not unless that’s something you want. It’s not wrong to keep it to yourself.” Yoongi reassured, placing a comforting hand on Jimin's shoulder. 

Jimin nodded, a small smile settling onto his features. 

“I-...thank you hyung.” He said after a moment. 

Yoongi offered a smile back. Before he knew it, he was being wrapped into a hug. Caught off guard Yoongi froze for a moment, before settling into the hug and giving Jimin a pat on the back.  

Yoongi felt a warm feeling slowly form in his chest. Seeing something familiar in Jimin, Yoongi was happy to know that he was able to help his journey, even in the slightest. 

The hug lasted for a minute before the two pulled away. Looking over Jimin’s back, as Yoongi pulled away from the hug, he happened to catch sight of something very familiar on his floor.  

Jimin’s blinked in confusion from Yoongi’s odd silence, before taking a glance at Yoongi’s expression and where his gaze was directed. Jimin froze and let out a nervous chuckle, before quickly standing up. 

“Hyung, I-” 

“ Is that my jacket !?” Yoongi exclaimed. Any seriousness from their previous conversation immediately dissipated, as he marched over to the side of Jimin’s room to inspect his stolen clothing.  

“Listen, I can explain!” Jimin exclaimed, attempting to defend himself as Yoongi exasperatedly scolded him. 

That day, Yoongi and Jimin may have grown closer and understood each other better- However, some things never changed when it came to Jimin. And for some reason, Yoongi couldn’t find it in himself to be mad. 

Yoongi sighed as he was handed an apron and gloves. He gave an unamused glare but Jin’s smile only seemed to brighten.  

“I was sleeping peacefully before this,” Yoongi grumbled, tying the apron around his back. 

“I can’t be the only one in charge of cooking dinner for six hungry men. It gets tiring being the only responsible one around here.” Jin exaggerated a sigh, while looking through the fridge for ingredients.  

“Plus, you know that I can’t let you sleep all day, Yoongi.” He continued gaining, a groan from the other boy.  

It was a privilege Jin got from being Yoongi’s only hyung. The others wouldn’t be caught dead trying to wake Yoongi from his sleep. Everyone knew he got grumpy was more likely to get and the quarrels that came from it. However, Yoongi felt too tired to try anything, so when Jin handed him a peeler and a potato, he begrudgingly gave in and idly peeled off the skin of the potato. 

“Couldn’t you have gotten anyone else to help?” Yoongi complained as Jin filled the cooking pot to the brim with water. 

“You know they can’t cook to save their lives. Last time Namjoon was in here he nearly burnt down the building.” He recalled, gaining a snort from Yoongi. “So, you’re the only one I trust in the kitchen,” Jin explained, transferring the now full pot from the sink to the stove. 

“What an honor.” Yoongi said dryly. 

“I’m glad you recognize it as the honor it is.” Jin replied easily, before motioning for Yoongi to come beside him. “Now try to act look like you’re enjoying yourself and help me chop these onions?” 

Yoongi sighed but nonetheless obediently walked over to the cutting board. 

“I pray for the day that you finally find someone and that they’ll help you cook so you can stop using me.” Yoongi stifled a laugh from looking at the insulted look on Jin’s face. 

Offended, Jin scoffed but his expression soon shifted into something more amused. 

“I could find any girl I wanted- it’s just a lot more fun using you.” He smirked with a smug look that made Yoongi want to roll his eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say hyung.” Yoongi brushed off.  From the corner of his eye, Yoongi could see Jin shaking his head. 

“Careful I’m holding a knife” Jin threatened, holding the knife up for emphasis, but still laughing along. 

Yoongi grabbed another knife and began chopping the onions into thin pieces before scooting them over to the side of the cutting board. The two worked quickly, as Yoongi minced the onions and Jin chopped the potatoes, quickly adding in more vegetables to chop once they had finished what they already started. 

The dish they were making, was actually one of Yoongi’s favorites and it normally bother him to cook it- that was, if he wasn’t being forced. 

After successfully chopping all the vegetables, Jin reached down to the cabinets to grab a pan, before placing it on top of the stove.  

“Yoongi, do you mind oiling the pain while I put the vegetables inside.” 

Yoongi nodded, walking over to the pantry to search for the oil. 

“Don’t forget to put a lid over the pan since the oil might try to pop back up. Make sure it doesn’t come back." Jin called out as Yoongi left. 

Yoongi doesn't know why but he suddenly felt the need to poke fun at Jin but ever since he’d been rudely taken out of his sleep the desire to aggravate Jin was higher than ever. 

“Don't worry, I’ll make sure it doesn’t come back. Just like your dates.” Yoongi smirked, returning from the pantry with the oil in hand. 

“Yah!” 

Yoongi chuckled, the look on Jin’s face feeling very rewarding. 

“I’ll have you know that none of my dates were the first to leave. In fact, I’m so desirable that even girls ask me out first.” Jin said, heading to the fridge to retrieve the thawed meat. 

Now that Yoongi thought about it, it was true that guys were the ones expected to ask girls out first. 

However, Yoongi never really thought that it mattered who asked who out. He never minded being the one to ask a girl out on a date but why should he be obligated to? And what if he wanted to go out with another guy? Which one in the relationship would be expected to ask the other out? What would that mean, then?? At the end of the day, it’s just two people going out; guy, girl or whoever. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes at Jin’s antics before speaking up. 

“Do you think it’d be weird for a girl to ask you out?” He questioned, causing Jin to pause. 

“I mean, it’s not so common...but I’d expect it with a face like mine.” He joked before taking a look at Yoongi and answering the question a little more seriously. 

“Though, I suppose it doesn’t really matter.” Jin shrugged. “Why, would you rather be asked out by a girl?” He asked moving over to the sink to rinse off the meat. 

“Not necessarily, but I just don’t see why it’s so crucial for a guy to do it.” Yoongi explained pouring the oil on to the pan and turning on the eye. 

“Hm, maybe you're right. Why be expected to put in so much effort when you can just let the ladies come to you. You might be on to something Yoongi.” Jin said, agreeing with Yoongi...but also possibly taking what Yoongi said in a different way. 

Yoongi shook his head with a sigh as the other boy came beside him to add the meat on to the pan.  

For the next few minutes, the two wordlessly worked beside each other, adding in ingredients and seasonings as they went. Both boys spent their time in silence but it wasn’t awkward.  

As much of a hassle he put up, Yoongi didn’t mind cooking. He just preferred doing it when he wasn’t freshly awoken from a nap. But despite everything, Yoongi might actually be able to say he... enjoyed cooking with Jin. Though, if anyone asked you didn’t hear it from him. 

Yoongi went to the fridge in search of carrots to add in to the pot along with the potatoes. Looking into the fridge he found what he needed, made his way back to the counter, and pulled out the cutting board.  

There wasn’t a peeler nearby, so Yoongi settled for the knife Jin used to chop the potatoes. He was minding his business, carefully peeling off the skin of the carrot all until Jin quickly rushed over, shooting him a quizzing expression. 

“Hey, just what do you think you’re doing?” Jin demanded. 

“Peeling a carrot?” Yoongi stated the obvious, not excited nor in the mood for whatever inevitable rant Jin was about to go on. 

“Who taught you to peel it like that? That’s not how you peel a carrot.” The older boy shook his head, disapprovingly. 

“Who said it was wrong?” Yoongi challenged, crossing his arms.  

It was a carrot for crying out loud. There was no ‘wrong’ way to peel a carrot! 

“Any cook who knows what they’re doing.” Jin argued back, mirroring Yoongi’s prickly attitude. 

To that Yoongi rolled his eyes. 

“Ever thought that maybe there was more than one way to peel a carrot, hyung?”  

“I-” 

“No, you’re right.” Yoongi interrupted, causing Jin to raise his eyebrow. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing, I should just go back to my nap.” He continued with a small smirk, just to mess with Jin. 

Jin let out an exasperated sigh before forcing a vegetable peeler into Yoongi’s hands. 

“You’re not going anywhere. Just take this," he said, giving Yoongi no choice but to use the peeler. 

Jin shook his head, walking over to the cupboards to find himself a spoon.  

“A man who cuts carrots like that is an immediate red flag. It’s a mystery to me how you’ll find a girlfriend who’ll deal with the way you cook.” Jin continued, walking back to the stove, opening the lid of the pot and giving the ingredients a stir. 

“Well then, maybe I’ll just find a boyfriend instead.”  

The words came out before Yoongi even had a chance to think. However, there was no backing out now. Yoongi sucked in a deep breath, hoping he hadn’t ruined the joking atmosphere. 

Jin paused, halting the spoon in his hand as he blinked.  

Luckily, the silence only lasted a few seconds before Jin recovered. His playful smile quickly returned and took over his momentary shock. 

“Even still, I don’t know if another man could look past your flaws.” He continued with their banter.  

Jin didn’t question Yoongi or making a big deal out of anything. He treated him the same, which Yoongi couldn’t be more thankful for (even if ‘the same’ was just annoying him to no end). 

“You do realize you just handed me a knife, don’t you?” Yoongi threatened, but the smile on his face gave him away. 

“Yes, but I know that you’d never hurt me,” Jin replied, sweetly. 

Yoongi raised his eyebrow. 

“Especially not when I’m making you your favorite dish.” He added, effectively trapping Yoongi, knowing that the other boy was at a loss for arguments.  

Yoongi sighed but stayed silent after that. 

With the two of them in the kitchen together, dinner was prepared faster than they could blink.  

“It looks like it's ready” Jin said, lifting up the pot to take a look. 

“It smells good,” Yoongi added as the flavorsome scent traveled its way up to his nose.  

Jin took the spoon from the counter, dipping into the pot before bringing it to his lips. “Tastes good too” He declared. 

“We should probably call the others down to eat.” Yoongi said after getting a taste for himself. 

Jin nodded in agreement. Just as Yoongi turned his heel to leave the kitchen, Jin’s voice called out for him.  

“But before that Yoongi,” Jin started, causing Yoongi to spin back around to face him.  

“Hm?”  

“Just so you know; I accept you no matter what.” He spoke softly and genuinely, without any trace of joking. 

“I know, hyung.” Yoongi said, with a small smile. 

Jin returned the smile before a mischievous glint appeared on his features 

“...even if you don’t know how to properly cut carrots.” Jin added, gaining a groan from Yoongi.  

“ Hyung! ” Yoongi complained but Jin only laughed. However, Yoongi knew that there was no malice behind it.  

Jin was a lighthearted person; he didn’t take things anymore serious than they needed to be. So, in telling Jin this, Yoongi was glad that nothing changed. And more than anything he was glad to be accepted by his hyung.  

Moments later, the other members soon filled into the dining room, after getting a whiff of what was in the kitchen. They all gathered around the table as the sound of laughter, silverware, and chatter filled the air. 

The scene was nothing out of the ordinary, however, Yoongi couldn’t help the smile that appeared from watching the homey display in front of him. Despite what they knew, his members carried on like normal and didn’t love him any less. A light feeling filled Yoongi’s chest.  

Maybe Yoongi wasn’t so salty about missing that nap anymore.  

It was a sleepless, and drowsy night. The sky was dark as midnight slowly shifted into the wee hours of the following day. Yoongi stared at minute hand of the clock, watching as the time passed by. He didn’t know how long he’d been staring at the clock; all he knew was that time was passing by all too slowly.  

Yoongi couldn’t sleep. 

And he couldn’t understand why. There really wasn’t a reason for him not to be asleep. He didn’t have too much to worry about, he (surprisingly) didn’t have any caffeine keeping him on edge, and he didn’t have any pressing thoughts keeping him awake. It seemed like his mind just enjoyed playing games with him. 

However, with nothing else for him to do, Yoongi found himself lost in his thoughts. Once Yoongi finally gave in and relented to his thoughts, he realized there was a lot more to think about than he previously thought. Like how he came out his members.  

With so much going on Yoongi never really had the chance to dwell on the fact that he’d actually managed to come out the others. It was by no means easy. 

But he did it.  

And to Yoongi, that was something to be proud of. 

He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but despite the few hiccups, it went better than he ever would’ve imagined…however, he couldn’t allow to himself relish in the victory yet. 

There was still one member he had had yet to tell. 

A quiet knock to his door quickly brought Yoongi out of his thoughts. Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.  

Who would be awake at this time of night?  

“...hyung?” a soft voice whispered, in-between the slight opening of Yoongi’s door. 

“Hoseok-ah?” Yoongi called out, recognizing the familiar figure in his doorway. 

Hoseok peeked his head through the door, upon hearing Yoongi’s voice. Yoongi sat up from his bed and motioned for the other boy to come sit down.  Following Yoongi’s request, Hoseok quickly made his way into Yoongi’s room, closing the door behind him.  

With the dark lighting throughout the room, Yoongi was only able to fully see Hoseok when he neared to Yoongi’s immediate field of vision. Hoseok took a step closer, revealing his plaid pajamas, oversized hoodie, and messy hair which made him look undeniable adorable. However, when Yoongi looked up to meet Hoseok’s gaze, he looked uncharacteristically disheveled in a way that had Yoongi concerned. 

“Bad dream?” Yoongi guessed, scooting over in hid bed to make room for Hoseok to sit down. 

Hoseok nodded, confirming Yoongi’s suspicions as he settled onto the other side of the bed. 

“Couldn’t sleep after it...but I figured you’d still be awake.”  

Yoongi hummed in agreement.   

Despite all the naps he took during the day, he was well known for staying up long past the reasonable, functioning, human hours. Whether it was from writing and getting inspiration or just not being able to sleep, the others would always nag him about it. 

“...do you wanna talk about it?” Yoongi questioned, unsure what to do with the sudden concern bubbling in his chest.  

Yoongi wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon and he didn’t have anything other to do. He might as well listen to what Hoseok had to say. Not like he wouldn’t have anyways. 

Hoseok was quiet for a moment as he thought to himself. Whatever he was thinking, he grimaced at the thought before slowly shaking his head.  

“Not really but...I guess I’ve just been worried about things,” he said, gazing to the side of the room, still lost in thought. It wasn’t so often that Yoongi saw Hoseok like this; so, despondent. 

Yoongi wasn’t so sure he liked it. 

Yoongi nodded, allowing the other boy some time to think. A brief silence settled over the two boys. 

“Have you ever felt like you don’t know who you are, or what you're even doing?” Hoseok blurted out. The suddenness of question caused Yoongi to blink out of surprise. 

Yoongi almost wanted to chuckle at the question, if only from the irony of it. Yoongi’s never really known who he was or what he was doing. And trying to figure that out was never easy. Discovering his identity was a journey and that journey still hadn’t ended. Though, eventually, he had to learn that, that was okay. 

“Oh, without a doubt.” Yoongi answered without missing a beat. 

There was a moment of silence until both boys found themselves chuckling at the bluntness of the question and Yoongi’s immediate response. 

“I guess, that’s sort of how I’ve been feeling lately,” Hoseok continued once their laughter, calmed down. “I’m not sure why, though.” 

“I mean, it makes sense. Especially, with being an idol, there's a lot to think about.” Yoongi assured. 

Hoseok nodded, before shifting on the bed to meet Yoongi’s eyes.  

“It's weird that we’re idols, don’t you think?” He wondered aloud. “The fact that we’re us but we’re never really just us...at least that’s not what everyone else thinks.” Hoseok continued.  

Yoongi started to wonder just what kind of dream Hoseok had to have to suddenly make him this philosophical. 

Before Yoongi had the chance to answer, Hoseok let out a short laugh but the smile didn’t reach his face. 

“Sorry...I don’t what's wrong with me tonight. You were probably about to sleep, weren't you? S-”   

Yoongi shook his head, cutting Hoseok off before he had the chance to apologize again. 

“No, it’s fine. Also, we both know I wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon.” He joked, gaining a sad half-smile from Hoseok.   

“And you’re right it is weird to think about...at the end of the day we’re just people. All of us are just trying our best to figure out what we’re supposed to do.” Yoongi agreed. Though, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to indulge into this conversation at whatever-the-hell-o'clock it was, he felt it really didn’t matter at this point. 

Hoseok nodded, before speaking up. 

“Everyone knows us but they don't really know us.” He said, causing Yoongi to pause. 

Yoongi wasn’t sure why Hoseok’s previous words stuck with him so much. But maybe it was because it felt so true to him in that moment.  

Yoongi spent long years, keeping parts of himself, away from the rest of the world. Everyone looked at him but did they really see him? Even his closest friends, did they even know him? 

“it’s kind of lonely,” Hoseok continued, before taking a look at Yoongi and deciding to steer away from the seriousness of the conversation. 

“I mean, I see you six everyday but there’s only so much of Namjoon’s singing in shower that I can take every day.” Hobi said. The two of them laughed for a moment, until the playful atmosphere began to fade out.  

“With being an idol there so much that you can’t do,” Yoongi said, not letting go of the conversation so easily. 

Or can't be.  

“No drinking, no driving, no swearing...no dating...that’s kinda messed up huh?” Hoseok agreed. 

It really was. The industry was so restricting. Confining its idols into a little box, not allowing anyone to cross over the strictly set line. Yoongi hated that. He hated feeling so restricted. 

Yoongi shook his head, with a new sense of aspiration coming over him. 

“I mean, it really shouldn't matter. We’re people, aren't we? Who gives a shit what the rules say.” He started. 

The corner of Hoseok’s lips lifted into a small smile, from seeing Yoongi get so passionate about something. 

“Be who u are, do what you want, like who you like. As long as it isn't hurting anyone.” He continued, only stopping when he noticed Hoseok’s gaze on him. 

“That’s what I think, anyway.” Yoongi brushed off, shyly shifting his gaze on to the floor. 

“Yeah, you’re right hyung.” Hoseok assured, his gaze without judgement. 

Yoongi shifted on the bed, moving the covers to give Hoseok slightly more room under the sheets. Hoseok adjusted his position, resting his head on Yoongi’s shoulder.  

Another silence settled over the room. 

“Sometimes...it’s just hard to figure what I really want. Like why am I doing what I’m doing...? Or maybe I’m just thinking too hard.”  Hoseok spoke up, cutting through the silence. 

“I get what you mean. Personally, I’ve spent years trying to figure out who I am and what I want...” Yoongi started, debating on what to say next.  

He lifted his gaze to look Hoseok in the eyes, suddenly feeling okay with what he’d say next. Yoongi took in a deep breath. 

“But after I while I figured, labels don’t matter to me. Sometimes you never really have an answer and sometimes things change. But...I am who I am--like who I like--and that’s all.”  Yoongi finished, oddly feeling better with himself, once he finally got the words out.  

Hoseok nodded with a small smile, letting Yoongi knew understood without making Yoongi go into so much detail. Yoongi smiled back, settling into the feeling of ease that washed over him. 

“That sounds like a nice way of thinking,” Hoseok finally said after a while. His reply wasn’t quite what Yoongi had expected. 

Yoongi tilted his head, prompting Hoseok to elaborate. 

“Not caring what anyone thinks, and just being who you are. That...takes a lot. I admire you hyung.” He said, earnestly, looking Yoongi in the eyes. The sincere words did a number on Yoongi’s heart.  

A small smile decorated Yoongi’s feature.  

“...that means a lot Hoseok.”  

Another silence surrounded the two boys but it wasn’t awkward- it was comforting. 

Suddenly, the sound a yawn coming from Hoseok, cut through the air, causing both boys to giggle.  

“I think that’s enough existential thinking for the night,” Yoongi said through a laugh. 

Hoseok snorted, but nodded anyways.  

The yawn must’ve been contagious, because not even a second later, Yoongi found himself yawning into his shoulder. The late hours seemed to catch up with both boys, as sleep clouded their senses.  

“Goodnight, Yoongi.” Hoseok whispered, already half-asleep. 

Yoongi felt his eyelids grow heavy, and his mind shift between consciousness.  

“Goodnight, Hobi.” He whispered back as the satisfaction in his chest eased him into a sweet sleep. 

No major changes took place after Yoongi decided came out to all the members.  

Coming out, didn’t change who Yoongi was and it certainly didn’t change his relationship with the others. He didn’t suddenly become a different person just because he was out. And the others never treated him like a different person because of it. He was just himself. And that was all he ever wanted.  

However, it was the little changes that made all the difference; 

Like when he was writing in the studio with Namjoon, the other boy always made an effort to educate himself. More often than not, running his lyrics by Yoongi, or seeking for his opinion. Namjoon didn’t go overboard, but he showed that he cared. And that was more than enough for Yoongi. 

When he went with Jungkook to another restaurant or café, passing by all kinds of people, and making a stupid game out of who they thought was cutest. (“She was really cute, wasn’t she she?” or “What do you think about him, hyung?”). The two of them giggled as if they were teens gossiping about their crush. And as childish as it was, it still mattered to Yoongi. 

When he talked with Taehyng and topics like dating happened to come up, Taehyung always made sure to never limit Yoongi to just having a girlfriend. It wasn’t glaringly obvious, but Yoongi appreciated his kind gestures and the consideration he put into his words. No matter how little it was, it always made Yoongi feel more justified in the person he was.  

When he exchanged knowing looks with Jimin and shared a secret only the two of them knew. He gave the other boy a place to share his thoughts and in turn, was able to talk with someone who understood . (And if Yoongi ever saw Jimin and Taehyung spending more time together, he said nothing of it. If anything, Yoongi was just happy to see Jimin grow a little more confident and shine a bit brighter, day by day.)  

When he found himself getting into random arguments or discussions with Jin, the older boy never made him feel any less because of who he loved. Even when Jin poked fun at him, he never made fun of who he was. Instead, he found a multitude of other things to tease him about (which Yoongi wasn’t entirely sure whether or not to be grateful for). 

When he just couldn't make sense of the thoughts in his head, he turned to Hoseok knowing he’d always be there to listen. Yoongi found it easy to talk with Hoseok (and maybe even easier when he wasn’t in a sleep deprived state). The younger boy had never judged him and welcomed even his most unconventional ideas.  

Yoongi didn’t see the point in a lot of things, however, sharing himself with his members gave him an experience he wouldn’t trade for the world. Nothing would be perfect, but he knew things would get easier from here on out.  

All that said; Yoongi couldn’t be happier with his decision.