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The diner had sat down on their planet again, for the first time in months. It had been over a year since it had last come by, and Shel was busy excitedly running around preparing things for their arrival. Ex went and dug up the old wine they’d been making, and preparing the gifts Shel had made for them.
She was glad to see everyone back, it was so lovely to have Shel in such good spirits, and she was interested to see Caspar and Leif again. She never became friends with this timeline’s version of Leif, but she still had a soft spot for him by association.
By the time they arrived it was a full party, the Mucklewains were playing their favorite music, Gloria was preparing some sort of celebratory food, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Leif was busy sampling the wine Shel had been working on, while he and Ava traded her some whiskey they’d picked up recently. The diner staff and Shel were hitting it off great, while Ex mostly stayed to the side. Gloria had made some weak attempts to talk to her a few times, but fundamentally she didn’t really know anyone here, except Caspar.
Caspar was his usual glum self. His mood had improved a lot since she last traveled with him, but he still seemed so awkward. He made no effort to talk to Shel (He still hadn’t seemed to learn their name, referring to them as “the plant”) and didn’t seem too eager to talk to her. Finally she watched as he went outside to cool off, and decided to follow him. She wasn’t getting anything out of this party either.
“Hey Caspar!” She tried to greet him warmly.
He looked up at her. “Oh, hey Ex.” he seemed a bit distracted.
“Everything alright? I haven’t seen you enjoy the party much.” She figured she’d try just asking.
Caspar let out a long sigh. “Yeah I’m fine. It’s just… I don’t know the plant really, and I’ve been so caught up with whatever Chuck wants us to do…”
“Chuck?” She figured it would be nice to catch up.
The two of them talked for a long time, roughly at least an hour by her estimation. The conversation covered their plan, their past, their experiences with the Teds. Ex tried to tell a few funny anecdotes about working with Shel but they didn’t seem to go over too well.
“You know” she began. “It’s funny. I spent so many thousands and thousands of years trying to track down every version of you, and then the very last one, the most elusive, ends up being my friend. Isn’t that interesting.”
She leaned back against the wall a bit and squinted up at the Sun.
“Huh.” he laughed slightly as he said that. “Yeah that really is interesting. Was I really the last one?”
She turned back to him. “I mean of course you were the last one, you’re the one in the diner. Why’d you think I came by so many times? I’d already finished meeting every other Caspar months before.”
He stared off in the distance slightly. “You really were so close to finishing your goal, huh.” his voice sounded a bit quiet.
“Hey” he started again. “Tell you what. Do it right now.”
She raised an eyebrow at him. “Seriously? Are you seriously asking me to be your ex wife and yell at you?”
He laughed a bit uncomfortably, but smiled at her. “Yeah sure! I mean it. I mean you spent so long trying to complete your task, it feels a bit silly to not ever finish it. Plus I can’t deny I’ve always been morbidly curious as to what this evil mad scientist version of my wife had to say. So yeah! Go for it.”
He straightened his back like he was getting ready to exercise.
She laughed at him. “Are you sure about this? I can’t deny it might be interesting to finish it up, but I’m not bound by my programming anymore. I don’t really have any need to complete it.”
“Nah I’m serious, go on” he said again. “It might be fun.”
She shook her head and laughed. “Somehow I still feel like I’ll never understand you. But sure, you’re right, it could be fun.”
Ex closed her eyes and thought for a moment, activating her powers. "Okay, here goes!"
She got kind of excited about the prospect. although she was no longer “needed” it, there was still a part of her that felt satisfaction at completing her core programming. She opened her eyes and saw Caspar staring at her blankly.
"Come on, I'm serious! I’ll be fine." he laughed.
She stared at him confused. "What do you mean?"
"Well you haven't used your powers yet."
She furrowed her brow. "I-" she froze.
Ex stared at him in shock. What felt like an eternity passed before she finally spoke again.
"Caspar... It's me?" a swirl of emotions filled her.
Caspar's expression fell. "What?"
She walked up to Caspar, and stared at him intently. "It's fucking me? I didn't turn into your ex wife it's me what the fuck." she wasn't angry she just couldn't even understand what was happening.
"...Oh my god." he looked like he was about to faint. "I need to sit down."
Caspar walked over to an outdoor seating table and cradled his head in his hands. Ex looked on in confusion before finally walking up and sitting across from him.
Nobody spoke for a long time. She sat in the shade and looked on at him, unblinking.
Neither of them were sure how long it was before Caspar finally spoke.
"I... I never loved her." he said at last. he didn't look up from the table. "I never really loved her."
Ex wasn't sure how to respond. Was he... into her? romantically? She had no idea how to take this.
"I..." he continued. "I was never close with anyone at the diner either, before I met you on that Ted ship. I never let anyone in before you."
He finally looked up at her, and then averted his eyes.
"That day, when you left with the plant, I didn't really know what to think. I told myself I was upset because we were losing our security, or some other stupid reason."
He let out a long sigh, and looked up at the trees nearby.
"I'd never really had... a friend. Someone like you. And when you left it just felt like I was losing all that I had. I'd gotten comfortable with you, you knew me intimately, better than anyone else. I didn't realize it but I needed you." He stared at the table again.
“Caspar…” She didn’t know what to say, or where to even go from here. She reached out and held his hand across the table.
His fingers slowly curled around her hand. He wouldn’t look up at her.
“I had no idea I was so important to you.” She said at last. She knew the two of them were friends but she never would have considered that they were so close. She’d never had a friendship before him, she didn’t realize that what they had was notable. She felt a twinge of guilt for leaving.
“I’m sorry.” he said at last. She knew he hated showing emotion like this.
She held his hand a bit more firmly. “No, I’m sorry, Caspar. I wish I’d known.”
He shook his head, and laughed slightly. “It’s okay, I didn’t know either.”
He finally looked up at her, and smiled weakly, clearly a bit depressed.
“Hey, let’s go inside.” she tried to speak kindly to him. “I can’t eat, but I know you can. We’ll go in, get some food. You can introduce me to those guys in the radio.”
His voice strained as he tried to be optimistic. “You’re right. That sounds nice.”
She stood up and offered him her hand, helping him up, and the two walked inside.