Chapter Text
Before prisons, before ripped off arms and commissions and empires, it was just him and Birdy.
They were an odd pair, yes. A creeper hybrid large and four limbed was an oddity standing besides the rare Avian, small, graceful, but dangerous. Before him, he had never seen one, only heard of stories passed around of the few rumored to be still alive, kept in cages and treated as extravagant pets, animals.
When he first saw the winged man weaving his way through the village he used to reside in, he couldn’t help but feel uneasy at the sight. The man looked almost tiny in the crowd, his great black wings that were barely hidden under a green woolen cloak did nothing to help make him look bigger. He had kept an eye on him, thinking himself to be a hero, there to help the poor bird from the harm that was sure to come. A funny thought now. When an encroaching band of hunters attempted to even grab the man, he was faster to react than Sam could have ever been. That viscous sharp toothed smile on the man's face before he took to slaughtering the hunters who tried to lay their hands on him was stained forever in his mind.
Sam felt like a fool standing there, some stranger thinking he would swoop in and save the day. The man looked at him, recognizing his intent and laughing, offering his name. Philza.
The bloody sight dispelled all the notions he had of some poor bird that escaped captivity. No, Philza was a survivor, a fighter. Only a fool would invite someone such as him to join him for a drink after such a display of bloodshed. Sam was a fool back then. To his surprise, Philza was a fool as well, accepting the invitation with a smile and ease.
It was too easy to talk to the man under the candlelight inside his shop, beer poured constantly by his hand into their two draining cups. Too easy to make the man laugh as they were both warmed by good company and a little too much to drink. Despite the way the other easily drank down the cups and became pink from intoxication, he still kept the cloak on tight over his wings and inched away everytime Sam got remotely close.
“Your travels sound fun. I don’t do anything like that. Just stay here and tinker with my redstone.”, Sam said after Phil explained a time where he flew in the “void” as he called it. Mystical tales that made the edges of Sam’s mouth no longer hidden from his discarded work mask smile.
"Well you know more than me about all this mate. Can’t be bothered with all this redstone stuff.", Phil had admitted as he glanced around the contraptions in the shop.
"Really? It's not that hard once you get the hang of it really. I can show you.", Sam offered, not thinking twice about it. There was a wariness in those blue eyes as they scanned over him, but it melted into the background as the drunken Avian smiled and shrugged.
"Sure mate. Hell, if you can make me understand any of this though it will be a miracle.", Phil says with a giggle. "I don't have much to pay you with though."
"Don’t worry about any of that. Just stay. Your company will be enough.”
Maybe it was a pitiful grab at companionship in his lonely shop, but Phil took it with stride, smiling as Sam let his loose tongue ramble on about redstone and how the signals worked until he was positive his guest must have been bored. Phil was leaning over himself, hand gripped so tight onto the handle of his mug that his knuckles still bruised from fighting were straining. He called it a night then, snuffing out some of the candles and offering a hand to help the other up. Phil didn’t take it, trying to bring himself up on his own. The way his wings flared out when Sam took it up to keep helping should have been a warning, but he was never good with those anyway.
“Guest room is this way.”, He says as he directs Phil to lean his weight against him. The other is tense, but nods tiredly, eyes obviously trying to stay wide open in the presence of a stranger. When they’re both in the room, he helps the Avian over to the bed, amused at the way the man easily rolls onto it and grasps at the blankets there, burrowing himself into the bedding. His eyes still observe Sam, and Sam laughs quietly.
“Night Birdy.”, He had said, the name easily slipping out. The man offered a tired hum, not falling asleep until Sam left the room and shut the door.
The next week was pleasant, filled with the company of his new guest. Phil, bless his heart, was the most inept person with redstone he had ever come across, only able to complete some simple signaling when he saw Sam do it step by step. It should have irritated him, but he found that he didn't mind. How could he when Phil helped him make meals and gladly assisted him as he worked on redstone commissions, aweing so easily over his creations. It was so easy to impress Phil, to make him laugh and smile, and for once Sam felt whole, like he finally found someone to share his life with, a friend to be with forever.
It was a night after the two had spent the day working in his shop when he had caught the man sketching in the guest room, charcoal smudged drawings standing stark against aging pages. He tried to be quiet, mugs of hot cocoa cooling in his hand as he strained to catch a peak without startling the other, but the creak of the wooden floorboards gave him away, the other's head lifting and the pencil set down.
"Sorry.", He apologized, eyes still straining to look at the page. He stepped inside, holding up the mugs. “Brought some hot chocolate. Didn't know you drew."
"Oh. It's nothing really. Just where I keep ideas for future projects. Nothing special.", Phil said with a shrug, laughing slightly as he closed the book. Sam shook his head, mugs placed on the end table as he sat on the bed next to Phil, the mattress dipping slightly and making Phil close the book more.
"Let me take a look. I didn't get to really see.", Sam said, excitement over seeing the other’s hidden talent making Phil’s hesitation falter, sharp nails picking slightly at the edge of the leather bound cover before he nodded and handed over the sketchbook slowly.
He held it with care, opening to page one, looking over the drawing there. He gasped, he must have, because there in front of him was a gorgeous drawing of islands in the sky, great grassy lands held up in the air by seemingly nothing at all, their shapes cohesively circling around a temple-like structure in the middle. There’s bits of color mixed in with the sketches, and to the side there are swatches of color taped into the other page, ideas in a scribbled language he doesn’t recognize.
"Phil- This is amazing.", He finally says, looking over at the other who lets go of a breath. Phil's eyes widen in surprise, and he keeps going. He has to let him know that this was a gift, something to be treasured. "It's beautiful. All the details- You really have a gift."
"Beautiful?", Phil fumbles before he tugs down at his hat, laughing slightly as his face goes pink. "Aww thanks mate. You're flattering me though. Anyone with a pencil can make that. And besides..What I really want is to create that in real life."
"Really?", Sam marvels as he goes through the rest of the pages, eyes transfixed on the carefully sketched drawings.
"Really.", Phil confirms, smiling as he peers to the pages Sam looks through. "Actually- I made some of these already."
"What-?"
"Yeah.", A chuckle. "Maybe I'll have to show you one day. I haven't really shown anyone it besides.."
He shakes his head, smiling as Sam keeps going through the pages. "Wanted some of these to have redstone. Hopefully with your teachings I'll make a dent of progress in what I want to do."
"Phil- If you'll have me I'd be glad to do it myself.", The earnesty in his voice shines through, and Phil gave him a bewildered look.
"Really?", Phil asks hesitantly.
"Really! I'm good at redstone, but this is a gift. If I can help you with this I'd gladly do it."
"You'd have to leave home for a bit. Maybe a long bit actually. I can’t just take you way from all of this.”, Phil fumbles, but Sam shakes his head.
"Phil. I'd leave with you anywhere.", He says. The Avian freezes at the statement, and he's afraid he's gone too far too fast, but no. His friend smiles at him, laughing.
"Well I hope you're prepared to travel then mate.", Phil says with a brilliant smile.
They spent the rest of the night talking over the pages of the book, Phil explaining fondly the projects he had already created, pointing to sketches of caverns filled with creatures and mushrooms in the Nether. The gears in Sam's head turned at the beautiful pictures. Into the night, he tells Phil ideas for redstone contraptions he can implement into the grand ideas of the future, their future.
It's almost too easy to hold Phil as he nods off to sleep his eyes growing heavy as well. It's almost too easy to leave behind his life, closing up his shop as he followed the other into lands unbeknownst to him.
He was no longer alone. At the time he didn't think he ever would be again.
“Birdy.”, He greeted fondly, watching the man pick his head up, golden lashes blinking at him.
“Sam.”, The man greets back. Maybe if he was a better man he would have noticed the way that smile he loved strained at the nickname, but things such as that did not cross his mind. He watched as Phil, his one and only, picked himself up from the ground from his kneel of prayer and offered one last look to the altar before he turned and looked up at Sam.
It was endearing the way the other believed in such things. According to one of their late night talks under the stars, Phil believed in many gods, but the one in particular he prayed to everyday was his patron one, something important to his way of life. Sam didn't believe any of it. He had found it perplexing someone as down to earth as Phil believed in such things, but he didn't tell him any of that. If praying to things that didn't exist brought him comfort, he would not take that away. Phil needed comfort of all things in his life, even if Sam found it all silly.
“Haven’t seen you all day mate.”, Phil interrupts his thoughts as he moves closer, tilting his head to the side. “Just what are you working on?”
“Clever Birdy, wouldn’t you like to know?”, he says with a chuckle. Oh how he wished he could show him, but no. His creation, his gift for the both of them, wasn’t done just yet. The pout on Phil’s face makes his smile widen. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you soon, it’s just not done yet.”
“Alright alright.”, Phil says. He stretches slightly, wings extending behind him and Sam’s eyes watch the way the beautiful feathered appendages move. Even after years spending time with Phil, he thinks he won’t ever be able to get over the way his wings moved. He’s touched them before, his hands wandering during their travels just to see if the feathers were as smooth as they looked, but those first touches caused Phil of all people to hiss and back away on some sort of instinct.
“Don’t..don’t touch them.”, Phil had wavered when he finally got ahold of himself. It took a long time for Sam to convince Phil he wouldn’t hurt him, not ever, even touching the wings again with warning to show him so. It had taken a few wavering years, but now Phil has even taught him how to take care of the wings, mumbling instructions one day as he clenched his shaking fists in his lap and allowed Sam to take care of the feathers he couldn’t reach. And speaking of which..
“Need me to take care of these?”, Sam says, reaching out and smoothing a loose feather that had gone array. He has to keep back laughter from the way Phil jumps slightly at the touch, still ever so sensitive about his wings. They press back tight against his back.
“Oh- I guess they do need some touching up huh?.”, Phil says with a slight laugh, blue eyes looking down. “I can handle it myself, I think.”
“Nonsense! Here, let’s get inside. It’s getting dark out anyways.”, Sam says as he places a hand on Phil’s shoulder, the other easily walking with him towards the home they shared together. They had settled on the edge of the village a few years ago. Phil had taken the time to build something beautiful for them to live in, leaving enough room for Sam to insert all the redstone he wanted.
The two shuffle inside, Sam immediately setting the heating system he built a few degrees up to rid the chill that overtook their home. Phil sits over on the floor, sitting on the carpet. The position reminds him much of that prayer he was in just minutes before, and he has to bite his cheek from smiling too much at a silly thought. He walks over, sitting behind Phil.
“I can do them myself mate, really.” Ever the stubborn one, but Sam shakes his head, sitting behind him and placing his hand on one of the wings which causes it to twitch slightly.
“Don’t worry. It’s not a problem, really. You should know that by now.”, Sam says warmly as he starts to arrange the feathers, pulling at them gently starting from the bottom. And really it wasn’t. It was worth the work to see the way Phil slumps slightly at the touches, little chirps escaping him as Sam gets to work. He smiles at his friend’s comfort, pride growing inside of him. “It’s never a problem taking care of you Phil. You know I’d do anything for you right?”
“I know.”, Phil hums.
“Good.”, Sam says. He wanted to tell Phil his plan then, tell him the news he so desperately wanted to share about their shared future, but no. It would be better as a surprise, would be better to see the joy on the Avian’s face when he promised him eternity.
Phil has been hurt before. By time, by life, by others who were cruel. It showed in the way he tried to hide old scars on his neck with turtlenecks, and was ready to fight at even the slightest of unexpected touches. Sam promised himself never again. Never again would Phil have to face any of that, at least not alone. He would be his sword and shield, his companion. He knew the first day he helped the wayward traveler learn the ways of redstone that he wanted to be there for the Avian.
He swallows.
“You know I’d never hurt you right Birdy?”, He asks. He has to hear it. Has to know that his dearest companion knows. Phil hums.
“Promise?”
It’s meant to come off as some sort of joke, but the weariness slips in his voice when he is focused on the gentle touches Sam gives over his wings. Sam blinks, almost pausing in his work, but Phil is waiting for an answer.
“Of course. I promise.”
When he’s done preening the feathers, making sure each one is in place with care, he smiles at the way Phil has practically fallen asleep in his comfort, eyes struggling to stay open as small coos leave him. He gathers the man in his arms, carrying him to his nest before he sets him inside. Phil doesn’t invite him into his nest, but that’s ok. He settles in it anyways besides him, holding him close as the other struggles to stay awake.
“Goodnight Birdy.”, He says.
“Night Sam..”, Phil wavers before he falls asleep.
The winds that day were howling something fierce, dark clouds above threatening to pour as thunder shook his world. He almost waited for the next to day to show Phil because of the impending weather, but the machine required the energy offered from the lightning, and now he thinks dryly that this is fitting enough.
Phil is looking at him in a way he never has before, shrinking in on himself and looking anywhere but his face, not accepting the grand gift Sam had wanted to give him. Sam gave him eternity, gave him the path to a neverending companionship, a life where he didn’t need to be alone anymore. And he turned it down.
“Promise me you will destroy it.”, Phil was saying, practically pleading with a hoarse voice. Sam can barely hear it over the thunder and the sizzling in his ears, his heart pounding as he clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides.
“This was supposed to be for us Phil!”, He tries to make him see. He did this for him, spent endless days perfecting this. So why was he looking at him like that? Why was he looking at him like he had hurt him? To get rid of this machine..it would be to get rid of his dream, his future. Their future. He steps forward. He had to make him see. “No. No- I’m not destroying this. I can’t.”
Phil almost flinches at the words before he looks down. He almost reaches out, almost takes Phil’s hand so he could show him just what he wanted, so he could just explain to him more so he wouldn’t look so afraid and hurt. But no. Those blue eyes look back up at him, determined.
“Then I can’t be your friend anymore.”
He puts his hand down. Oh.
Were they not on the same page all along? Those gentle smiles, those days of laughter, they were everything to him. He promised Phil eternity, promised him a life with no more grief. The world had shattered at his feet. What did he even mean to Phil? The world was shaking, not even the rain that started to pour over them helped make his head any clearer
“Fine.”, He says. Shaking his head. He takes another step forward, the Avian stepping back, eyes looking up at him in a way they never looked at Sam before. He hates it. A part of him wants to apologize, to step back and say he would do anything for Phil. But no. He won’t back down from this. “Then leave! And when you need a new body because that one's breaking down, don't come and ask me for help!"
The words feel like acid in his throat. His heart is beating fast, too fast, and bile threatens to come up when Phil’s face absolutely breaks, eyes crinkling and blinking rapidly as they struggle to keep back tears. His Birdy. His everything. Phil looks away, wings pressed tight against him, arms crossed over his chest.
“Then I guess this is goodbye Sam.”, Phil says weakly.
Sam doesn’t say anything, nothing, as he watches Phil take a few steps back, walking away from the machine that could have been their saving grace, walking away from him.
He wanted to grab his arm, to stop him, to make him wait so he would just listen. He holds back such thoughts, pushes them away. There was no need for that. This couldn’t be the end, tears and awful goodbyes. No, Phil wouldn’t let it end like this. Maybe after some time to fly it off, he would come back and tell Sam he was right.
Phil leaves that day, barely packing anything to take with him before he flies off. Sam watches as he leaves, heart painful and heavy in his chest as he watches his best friend soar away until he is a dot in the dark skies. Worry consumes him, an anger grows and festers as the hours pass by without any sign of the man coming back. But oh. Phil would be back. He would come back and ask for Sam’s forgiveness, maybe even for his help, and Sam, although hurt, would give it to him.
Yes, he would be back.
He sleeps in Phil’s nest left behind for the first few weeks. After months with no sign of him, he destroys it.
Many years have passed since he left behind that home he and Birdy made together. He found himself shuffling between many groups of people.
He’s heard rumors about Phil. He sought news about him, of course he did. The man had apparently found himself off some server far far away, a grand kingdom his own to take as a second in command. He wonders somedays if the emperor treats him terribly, if he is just treated as some pet. Avians were unheard of nowadays, he’s sure those beautiful wings are a target on itself wherever the man went. Part of him darkly hopes that is true, that Phil missed the security of the Creeper hybrid watching his back, keeping him safe.
It brings him solace knowing that Phil would never have that again, not without him.
In his own castle, alone, he keeps his machine of immortality safe and hidden, his consciousness kept immortal and able to follow this new body wherever he chose to go.
He wanders to a newly formed server, lands unexplored and up for the taking. The admin seems like a normal enough man besides the strange mask, and he and the other inhabitants became almost close, creating their own civilization easily besides a few petty fights that smoothed over at some senseless fighting. Their trust was so easy to gain from just helping them with redstone. He made multiple bases for himself, and lended an offering hand to those he wanted to stick close to as allies.
The server’s people eventually chose sides, petty arguments caused from some quick witted musician from nowhere. He didn’t care much about the arguments, the politics, but oh. He liked the conflict. It was amusing, and it kept the supply for redstone he had on hand a much needed commodity. It was so easy to earn both side’s trust, to get them both just a little bit mad at each other.
He expected an explosion, a catalyst to all the conflict festering. He went to watch it all, to see everything the Badlands had worked towards boil over. He did not expect him.
“Phil?!”, A shout was heard amidst the chaos of loose withers and ongoing explosions. Technoblade, the monster of a man, The Blade, the one who had let so many withers loose in the wake of his side’s betrayal against him. Now, he looks up to the cliffside where the explosions had started, a raw panic apparent as he shouted that name, withers forgotten as he’s running towards the scene.
And there he was. Covered in blood like the day he had first crossed paths with him, smoke coming up from him and legs barely holding him up. From afar, the body collapses over, becoming indiscernible through the smoke and chaos around them. Those wings, that name, they were not something that could be mistaken. His heart so hardened by absence aches horribly, making itself known after years of tuning out that empty feeling.
That was Phil.
He had finally come back to him.