Work Text:
“Stede, please! This is driving me crazy!”
“No, Ed. Don’t even think about it.”
“But I need to!”
“Mind over matter, dear.”
“Fuck that. I’m doing it.”
“Ed, no! Don’t make me hold your arms down.”
“You know, normally that would be doing something for me.”
“I’m fairly certain that’s how we got into this situation in the first place, dear.”
“How was I supposed to know that was poison ivy?!”
“Because of the saying. You know, ‘leaves of three, let it be’.”
“Stede, love, of the two of us, you’re the plant expert.”
“Well, I was preoccupied!”
“So was I!”
“I suppose we were both focused on other things. Pass the calamine lotion, please.”
“We’re out. Lucius said he’d bring us another bottle today. Something about us not scratching certain body parts in public. D’you want the hydrocortisone cream instead?”
“That’ll work… You know what though? If we had it to do all over again, I definitely would.”
“Yup. Totally worth it. Let’s just agree that next time we decide to fuck al fresco, we do a quick check of the area first.”