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You're Stuck In My Head (I Don't Want To Get You Out)

Summary:

"I think I might be bisexual,"

"What?"

Silence.

"What did you say?"

More silence.

"Ajax! You can't just say that and dip!"

Or: The story of how Childe discovers he is not, in fact, as straight as previously assumed, told over the course of months of all of his friends' suffering.

Chapter 1

Summary:

Legendary first meetings begin with hugs.

This is rule number one.

Rule number two is not everything is as straight as it appears, Childe included.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

You know that feeling you get when you see someone, and you just know you would be great friends if you ever spoke? Yeah, that’s exactly the vibe Childe got from Aether.

 

It had nothing to do, of course, with how pretty the blonde was. Sure, he was cute enough to be campus crush, and he seemed nice enough, but that had absolutely no impact on Childe’s desire to meet him.

 

He’d seen said blonde (whose name he didn’t yet know) around campus many times, but never quite managed to work up the courage to talk to him. By some stroke of coincidence, or perhaps fate, a mutual friend by the name of Zhongli (a third year) introduced them. Out of the blue, with no prompting on Childe’s part whatsoever.

 

It was nothing short of a miracle really. Though that was probably the dramatic in him speaking.

 

Their first meeting went swimmingly. Aether turned out to be exactly as sunny as his demeanour and face suggested he might be, wrapping the seated Childe in a hug and planting kisses on his forehead. While the action made him feel rather like, well, a child, he was too touch-starved to find it in himself to complain.

 

“What’s the occasion?” He’d asked, returning the hug.

 

Aether had patted him briefly on the head, before parting from him and joining him on the bench, “Must there be one?” He returned, smiling gently.

 

Oh dear God. He was adorable.

 

“No, of course not,” Childe said, laughing slightly, “I love hugs,”

 

Behind Aether, Zhongli had raised an eyebrow at him, as if to say, ‘Do you? Do you really?’

 

Okay, so it wasn’t fully a lie. He did enjoy hugs. He was just extremely selective about who received this love. Zhongli was yet to see it, mostly because Zhongli himself was not the biggest fan of them. Aether had apparently found it within seconds.

 

Not that he was complaining, of course.

 

They spoke, then, for a while. Aether was a sweetheart, and so cheerful. Enough for the both of them, really. He was funny too, exactly Childe’s brand of humour, which was a bonus.

 

Childe will proceed to recount it mentally for the thousandth time:

 

“So, your name is Childe?” Aether asked, raising a brow at him.

 

Childe chuckled sheepishly, “Ah, not quite. It’s my nickname actually.”

 

“Oh? That’s good. I was beginning to wonder who would actually name their child, well, Childe.” Aether said.

 

“No, I’m the one with no creativity actually. I’m not sure how but this name just… stuck.”

 

“So where are you from, then?” Aether asked.

 

“I’m from Snezhnaya,” Childe answered, “And you?”

 

“Oh, I’m from-”

 

Not far from them, beyond a wall, the train whistles loudly, wheels clanging against metal tracks as it passes by. 

 

It turned out they lived in the same dorm, six floors apart. 

 

They barely talked for five, maybe ten minutes, but the immediate comfort Childe felt with Aether spoke volumes more about Aether as a person than any conversation ever could. Childe found himself cracking jokes he wouldn’t dare to until at least a few months with anyone else, his natural personality bobbing to the surface and breaking through in a way it hadn’t in a while.

 

Aether had made in a lasting impression on him in an incredibly short amount of time. There was this instant magnetic pull, that he found himself wondering if Aether felt too.

 

They parted ways that day with another hug, and a promise to meet again.

 

(He saw him in the cafeteria three days later, and sat strategically close to him- on the table to his right- for breakfast in hopes of being noticed. Spoiler alert: he was not noticed, despite playing his videos extra loudly).

 

The next time they met was quite some time later. And here the story truly picks up.

 


 

“I can’t believe it’s already been a month of college,” Childe says, strangely nostalgic considering the small amount of time they’d known each other, “I feel like we just met, but here we’re going for our first vacation?” For Thanksgiving, in case anyone was wondering.

 

He makes this statement mostly for the benefit of Scaramouche, who is currently begrudgingly allowing the pests- Zhongli, Childe, and Aether, his f-words (“Friends, Scaramouche, you can say it,” Aether tells him, deadpan) to escort him to the main gate, seeing him off. Aether is mostly here for Zhongli, his friend among the group. Childe is merely the acquaintance, and Scaramouche is… there.

 

Childe sticks to Scaramouche on the way there, carting along one of his bags, while Aether and Zhongli had some kind of hushed and secretive conversation in the background.

 

Childe goes for a hug as they bid goodbye at the gate, which Scaramouche immediately rejects obviously, so he settles for patting him on his oversized hat.

 

“I feel like a parent seeing off his child,” Childe says, to Aether and Zhongli.

 

“Mm, same,” Aether agrees, “Stay safe dear!” He calls, for the emphasis.

 

Scaramouche continues to pretend not to know them. A wise decision, really.

 

“So what, are we the parents?” Childe says, to gauge his reaction. 

 

In the microseconds before Aether responds, Childe manages to overthink. Shit, was that too soon? Did he make a stupid joke? Should he not have said that at all? What was the appropriate amount of time one should know a person before making such a joke with them?

 

Say something, please. Anything. Don’t let him have made this awkward.

 

Aether laughs, immediately dissipating every worry Childe absolutely did not have. “Yeah, I’ll be the mommy and you can be the daddy,” he slants his eyes towards Childe here and smirks.

 

Childe chokes slightly on air.

 

That little shit. He knows exactly what he’s doing. While he does indeed have a running daddy joke with a friend of his, it somehow feels different coming from Aether.

 

“What am I in this equation?” Zhongli asks, thankfully saving him from having to respond.

 

“Hmm, you can be the broke uncle,” Aether says, way too quickly for him to have even pretended to think about this.

 

Zhongli casts betrayed eyes at him for this, before immediately swivelling them to Childe in a very ‘say it ain’t so’ manner.

 

“Fits,” Childe agrees, after making a show of considering the matter.

 

Zhongli scoffs, “Is this how you treat your seniors? I am not broke, thank you very much.”

 

Childe grins, “Oh yeah? Then what do you call the state of having no money? Tastefully cashless?”

 

Zhongli smiles at that. Aether laughs, a beautiful sound, really.

 

Childe feels something within him twinge. Something he can’t quite put a name to, and he frowns. 

 

Surely not?

 

He puts the thought aside immediately, squashing it very firmly under a mental boot. No. It can’t possibly be. He’s overthinking things again, jumping too many steps forward.

 

They walk back to the dorms together. On their way, Zhongli makes a throwaway comment about Childe playing a certain video game, his current favourite (by the name of Genshin Impact).

 

“Oh, Genshin Impact!” Aether brightens immediately.

 

“You play too?” Childe gasps, reaching past Zhongli to give him a high-five. Something in him did the cha cha at that, and he sincerely hoped that wasn’t his heart. He’d had this strange feeling that Aether also played the game, and he turned out to be right.

 

“Of course I do!”

 

“What level are you at?” Childe asks.

 

“I don’t quite remember,” Aether laughs sheepishly, “It’s been a while. What about you?”

 

“47,” Childe answers, “We should play together sometime.” He offers, hopeful.

 

“Oh, yeah, for sure! We have to.” Aether agrees.

 

“Who’s your favourite character?” Childe asks.

 

“Probably Tartaglia. Or the Darknight Hero, I have him on my party.” Aether says.

 

“No way! I want him too.” Childe pouts, well, childishly. “I don’t have any five stars yet!”

 

Aether laughs softly, “You’ll definitely get one soon. Who’s your favourite?”

 

“The traveller,definitely. He’s super versatile and so fun to play. That, and he’s my only five star.” Childe says.

 

Aether nods, “I don’t have him on my team anymore. I replaced him with Barbatos.” 

 

“Ah, I have-”

 

Zhongli grasps the two of them by their shoulders (making Childe feel awfully like a baby kitten), steering them abruptly to the right, “The cafeteria is this way. Where were you two planning on going?”

 

“Oh,” they say, in sync. Then they exchange grins, Childe’s amused, Aether’s embarrassed.

 

He’s not sure where they were going either, too involved in the discussion.

 

The discussion resumed after they’d filled their plates with the slop that they liked to call spaghetti, and Zhongli left them not long after. Then they spoke about the other video games they’d played for a while, realising they had many similar interests. When the topic shifted to anime and manga even, they found themselves agreeing.

 

Well, almost.

 

“But it’s sad . Why would you do that to yourself when you know full well they're gonna die in the end?” Childe asks, genuinely and utterly confused.

 

“That’s exactly why! I love sad stuff.” Aether says.

 

“I… I don’t see why, but sure.” Childe sighs, “Well, I still prefer comedy and action.”

 

Aether pulls his phone out of his pocket then, and they exchange socials. He accepts the incoming follow request , feeling his heart do a few backflips.

 

“Nice profile,” Aether says idly, as he scrolls through Childe’s (very limited in number) posts and liking them all.

 

“Thanks, you too,” Aether has no posts for him to like, so he settles for staring awkwardly at the table and trying not to think too hard about the gym his heart is currently running in there. Maybe he just really, really wants to be friends? And he’s mistaking that for…

 

He doesn’t even want to think about that possibility. He’s straight. Very straight. Straight as an arrow fired by the best archer. He just really wants to be friends with Aether, that’s all.

 

They leave each other with a hug on Aether’s floor, before Childe proceeds to the lift with tingles running through him, electric tingles that appeared when Aether smiled so sweetly at him and wished him a good night with such sincerity…

 

He’s beginning to doubt this whole straight agenda he’s got going on.

 

No. He should… he should sleep. He leaves campus early the next morning to catch his flight home to Snezhnaya, and he has better things to be doing than thinking about his sexuality. Such as the aforementioned sleeping he ought to be doing.

 


 

The airport process is smooth, smoother than anticipated, and he ends up sitting before his gate with a little over an hour to departure time. He finds himself unable to quell an urge within him to send Aether a message. Should he? Or should he not? He didn’t want to let the conversation die out with just these pleasantries, however.

 

‘Just go for it,’ he chastises himself, ‘Would you hesitate this much if it was anyone else? What if it was Zhongli? What’s stopping you now?’

 

Aether

 

Hey, have you heard of this one genshin

Youtuber? His name is GryphonFire. He’s

 

Childe pauses, wondering how to appropriately hype up his favourite youtuber, without making him out to be too much of a big deal. What if Aether dind’t end up liking him, and here he was waxing poetic?

 

He’s really funny.

 

Is what he settles for in the end. His foot taps anxiously as he hits send. Done. Now to never think about this again. Or at least not for a very long time.

 

Unfortunately for him, not for a long time ends up being barely five minutes, because Aether responds very quickly.

 

Omg no i haven’t! I’ll check it outtt

Wya btw, have you reached the airport?

 

That was quick, Childe thinks, as he types out a response.

 

Yep, waiting for the plane rn

 

Yayy have an amazing thanksgiving love :3

 

Love? Love?

 

‘Just his personality,’ he shakes his head to refocus, sending a response wishing Aether the same.

 

Childe finds himself smiling down at his phone (and the little word)- a small, goofy thing he couldn’t hide for the life of him.

 

oh.

 

oh no.



Notes:

Hiya hiya! I'm backkk

This is gonna be another longish one, but guess what? I have the whole thing planned out this time. No repeats of the unspeakable one *coughIndigocough*

I disappeared for two weeks cos exams and all that shit. Seriously, who even invented exams. Ugh.

That aside, I lost the 50-50 to Jean, literally the only standard 5 star I have no use for (cos I have Venti) aside from Mona. But on the plus side I saved up enough wishes to get back to 60 pity, meaning I'm definitely gonna pull Childe soon! Hmm, shall we consider this Childe coming out fic to be in honour of Childe coming home?

Anywhoo, I have nothing much to say. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you had/have a great day!

PS: If anyone's wondering about Butlers, I probably will get back to writing it. I just don't have any inspiration for that ship right now, and I don't want to half-ass it. I'm sowwyy, I'll try my best to continue it asap!