Work Text:
“Hey Ena..”
“What is it?”
She was busy
This isn’t the right time
Screw it..
“Ena.. I-I don’t think I’m a girl..”
I heard her gasp and she got up and ran over to me
“How do you feel? Wait.. what do you feel like?”
“I.. don’t know I just.. don’t necessarily think I’m a girl, I’ve never felt like it.. I always daydreamed about being a boy.. am I.. doing the right thing?”
“Yes yes you are, don’t worry I’ll be with you the whole time alright?”
That’s how it all started
Ena helped me find who I was
——————-
“So it’s Akito right?”
“Yes!”
“Akito, my little brother”
“Enan.. I love you so much!”
I threw my arms around her and squeezed her tightly
“Love ya too Lil bro”
She put her arms around me as well
“Here I got you something”
“Hm?”
She handed me a box
I opened it and saw something resembling a crop top but..
“Ena you didn’t!”
I started tearing up
She got me a binder..
“Yes I did, I’ll help you cut your hair as well”
“Thank you so much!”
“You’re welcome Aki”
——————-
“Hey mom, I have something to tell you”
I was hiding behind Ena, I asked her to tell Mom and Dad for me
“What is it?”
“You have a son”
“I do?”
“Yeah, a son and a daughter”
“What about Akari?”
I winced at the name
“Yup! Except it’s not Akari.. it’s Akito, he’s your son!”
“Oh..”
She looked at me and forced a smile
I could tell
“Akito! Alright”
I gasped and ran up to hug her, but she stopped me
“I’ll notify your school”
She sounded
Disappointed..
———————————-
“Akito! How are you doing today?”
“Hey An! I’m actually pretty good today, just scared for our first class..”
“They’re still messing with you!?”
“Yeah..”
“Ugh! I swear if they say one transphobic thing to you today I’m giving them a piece of my mind!”
“An.. it’s fine”
“No it isn’t!”
We heard the first bell ring and kids started shuffling in
“Look it’s Shinonome!”
“Isn’t she super delusional? You better not get near her!”
“Hey! Leave Akito alone! He hasn’t done anything to you”
————————-
I was stuck in the bathroom stall
My legs wouldn’t move
“Please delete the video”
“No way! I’m posting it right now”
“No please!”
“Woops my hand slipped!
I could only hear them outside of the stall
Everyone was gonna know…
“If i were you, I’d just kill myself now to save the embarrassment”
Kill myself…
It didn’t seem like a bad idea right now
But An and Ena…
I started crying
“Aww is Akari crying like the little girl she is?”
I was finally able to stand up and open the stall door
Their stupid faces made me cry more
“Cry like the baby you are!”
The other one started recording
I wanted to run but my feet were nailed to the floor
“You’re such a baby Akari!”
I was gasping for air now
I couldn’t breath
I feel like I’m gonna pass out
I was finally able to move though
I started walking away and went to that teachers classroom
————-
“Akito? Hey hey did something happen?”
“Mhm…”
“Hey you wanna talk about it?”
He reached out and tried to put his arm on my shoulder but I flinched away
“Ah… you wanna stay here for the rest of the day? Or at least until you’re ready?”
I nodded
“Alright, I have beanbags in the corner of the room, you can stay there. Your sister is in my next class.”
Ena..
“You teach Enan?”
“Yeah, I mean I am the art teacher here, she’s really talented. The only reason I called out your last name in class was because I recognized it, I should have mentioned I knew your sister”
“She really is talented… I’m sad she doesn’t realize it..”
“Mhm.. oh the painting she’s working on now is of you”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she really seems to care about you”
“Yeah..”
———————-
I went to sit on the beanbag in the corner and checked my phone
‘Oh god.. why do I have so many messages’
All of the numbers are unknown
‘The video’
It was mostly people making fun of me
Things like
‘Wow you loser’
Or
‘Can’t believe you force yourself to throw up’
And
‘How pathetic!’
Ena came running onto the room
The first bell already rang, she probably thought she would be late
“Akito?”
“Hey..”
“Why are you here? Oh my god..”
My eyes were still red and puffy
My cheeks were somewhat puffy as well
“What happened?”
I opened my phone and showed her the video, which also got sent to me
“Aki… why?”
“I just… I didn’t feel right in my body, I still looked too feminine..”
“Akito..”
“I’m really sorry..”
She put her arms around me
“Hey it’s okay. Just promise me you’ll try to stop, alright?”
“I’ll try..”
—————-
I ended up staying for the rest of the day
I fell asleep a few times as well
I heard the last bell ring at I got up from the beanbag
“Thank you for letting me stay again.. I don’t think I would have survived the rest of the day if you didn’t let me stay”
“You’re welcome Akito, stay safe”
I walked out of the room and saw everyone in the hallway stare at me
Some people snickered and others looked away
I just kept my head down and walked out of the hallway
When I got outside I was met with An putting her hands on my shoulders
“Akito what the hell!?”
She knew…
“An.. I..”
“Shush, why wouldn’t you tell me?! And those guys UGH I’m gonna kill them! Akito..”
I started crying again
I couldn’t take it
———————-
It’s been 2 days since the video was sent to everyone
Most people forgot about it but others harassed me about it
I was glad it was the end of the day
I was walking by the music rooms when I heard a piano
It sounded really complicated, so I thought it was one of the teachers, but I still wanted to see who it was
I walked into the room, I guess the person didn’t hear me come in because they kept playing
I saw a boy with two toned hair, I had never seen him before, I thought he was older than me
He kept playing, it was beautiful
I think he messed up because he slammed his head against the keys, causing a bunch of mixed sour notes
“Hey, that sounded great”
He jumped from the piano bench and lifted his head up
“Is your head okay?”
“Oh uh… sorry… I messed up.. I’m sorry”
“I’m not worried about that,” I started walking over to him, “I’m just worried about your head! It looked like you slammed it pretty hard”
“Ah I’m fine,” he put his fingers back on the keys, his wrists looked bruised.. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, you can go back to what you were doing”
“I wasn’t doing much, I was just interested in your playing. It sounds really good”
“Oh umm.. thank you”
“Say I haven’t seen you around, what grade are you in?”
“7th”
“Oh really? We’re in the same grade! My names Akito Shinonome, anyone who says anything else is lying”
“My name is Toya Aoyagi.. it’s nice to need you Shinonome.”
“Call me Akito, Shinonome sounds too formal”
“Right… Akito..”
We both sat on the bench
I watched him play, we would slam the keys when he messed up, almost looking like he was going to cry, and I kept telling him that it was okay
We were there for about half an hour before Ena came running in
“Akito! I’ve been waiting for you for 30 minutes! Oh who’s this?”
“This is Toya! He’s my new friend”
“I’m proud of you for making new friends but you should have told me where you were!”
“I’m… sorry for keeping you here so long Akito.. you can go now..”
“Don’t feel sorry Toya!”
I got up and held Ena’s hand
“Hey aren’t you gonna go home?”
“I don’t like being at home longer than I have to..”
“Oh… you should come with us then! Enan can he come?”
“Yeah, Mom and Dad are both out anyway”
“Alright! Toya come on!”
———————-
We were sitting in Ena’s room
Toya looked a bit nervous but Ena kept reassuring him everything was fine
“Hey Akito did you take your binder off?”
“Oh no I’ll be right back Toya”
I got up and went to my room to change
Taking off my binder made me really uncomfortable, but you really aren’t supposed to have it on for more that 8 hours
Ena told me to just put on an oversized sweater and a sports bra and it would be somewhat okay
I came back to Ena’s room and I saw her and Toya talking about something
He looked really fascinated
“Hey what did I miss?”
“Oh,Toya was asking about my art supplies.”
“It’s interesting, you got to choose what you wanted to do?”
“Yeah doesn’t everyone?”
“Umm… never mind”
He glanced at the floor
“Alright..”
I sat back down next to him
“Hey Akito..”
“Yeah?”
“Before you left, Ena asked if you took something off, what was it?”
“Oh my binder?”
“Yeah.. like the thing we use for school?”
“No! Uh.. well I’m trans, and I use it to hide my chest”
“Oh.. uh.. I’m sorry I don’t know what that means”
Ena laughed in the corner
“Oi Enan don’t be rude! Right so I was born in a female body, but I’m not a girl!”
“Right, you’re Akito”
“Exactly!”
It was really sweet of him to understand right off the bat
I guess he’s really sheltered if he didn’t know any of this stuff
——————-
We walked Toya home after a while
His house was nice, it was big
We only got up to the gate before he said goodbye
I was excited to have a new and accepting friend!
—————————-
It’s been a week since I met Toya
People just kept getting meaner
They would tell Toya to leave while he could and just making fun of me to my face when we walked in the hallway or ate lunch together
I’m sick of it
It was the end of the day
I said goodbye to Toya and An and met up with Ena at our agreed spot
I was miserable
No one would leave me alone today
It was
‘Girl!’
This and
‘Delusional!’
That
I can’t take it
“Hey Akito, you okay”
“Yeah..” I could only grumble a response
“Alright let’s go”
We walked in silence most of the way home
I was really tired
I just wanted to lay down
But oh my god why did they both have to be walking home right now
“Hey look it’s Akari!”
“That’s not his name!”
Ena..
She gets aggressive when it comes to people messing with me
“Who are you?”
“His older sister! Now leave my brother alone”
“Hah dragging your sister into this? You’re so pathetic!”
I just grabbed Ena’s hand
“Jesus stop making my brother miserable! He’s just trying to live his life and you have to torment him for it!”
“… Enan please can we just go home?”
I heard her sigh
“I swear to god if I hear that you messed with my brother one more time I’m gonna-“
“Enan! Please”
She eventually started walking home
I heard the boys yelling at us in the distance
I don’t care I just want to get home
————-
I immediately threw myself onto my bed and curled up into my blankets
“Akito make sure to take off your binder if you’re gonna sleep!”
I didn’t want to
I couldn’t really get up
I just grabbed my pillow and started crying into it
————————-
I shot awake
I immediately moved my hands to touch my hair
Then my sweater
‘Not in 7th grade’
I looked at my left arm
I broke down earlier
Ena had to take every single sharp object in my room after it
She went through all of my drawers as well to make sure I wasn’t hiding anything
She had to wrap up my arm in a bandage
“Damn it…”
I layed my head back down and tried to go to sleep
‘Tomorrow’s a new day Akito, please sleep’
I heard Toya say that, he wasn’t here but his voice was on replay in my mind
It helped me fall asleep again