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Kaveh stumbles through the front door, nearly tripping over the threshold.
The house is dark, which means Alhaitham isn’t home yet. He’s probably not coming back tonight, and Kaveh is too emotional and exhausted (and tipsy) to pretend that it doesn't bother him.
Alhaitham has been gone a lot recently. It’s probably Akedemiya business, but the bitter, jealous part of Kaveh keeps imagining Alhaitham off with other men. Sleeping in their beds, touching them, holding them, teasing them like he does so effortlessly…
Kaveh has absolutely no right to be jealous. There’s never been anything romantic between him and Alhaitham, and there never will be. Alhaitham can hardly stand him, so it’s delusional to think he has a chance at a relationship.
Besides, Kaveh has done much too fine a job of putting up his walls. He’s convinced everyone at the Akedemiya that he detests Althaitham right back, though Kaveh never thought he’d be such a good actor.
As Kaveh shuffles through the dark hallways of Alhaitham’s house, his eyes catch on Alhaitham’s open bedroom door.
His door is almost never open. He usually closes it when he’s home and locks it up when he’s gone. Not that Kaveh would ever take any of his stuff.
Kaveh leans against the doorframe and looks into the dark room. The room is deserted and the bed is empty, as he expected.
Heaviness settles in Kaveh’s chest. He frowns, his bottom lip forming into a pout.
Without really thinking, he steps into the room. Everything is neat and orderly, except for the slightly rumpled bed. Alhaitham has always been uptight about leaving no messes in the house, and his room is no exception.
One wall is entirely dedicated to shelves and shelves of books. Knowing Alhaitham, he’s probably read them all twice. It smells like a library here, like crisp paper and ink. It smells like Alhaitham.
Kaveh shuffles over to the bed and falls into it. He doesn’t even bother to kick off his shoes, he just faceplants into a pillow and curls up, holding the pillow close.
His bed smells even more strongly of him. It’s a warm, clean scent. Everything about Alhaitham is so enticing, so perfect…
Kaveh whines, shoving his face further into the pillow. He’s so pathetic. He’s hopelessly infatuated with someone who thinks he’s the biggest nuisance on the planet.
The problem is, Kaveh doesn’t know how to stop being a nuisance. He doesn’t know how to open up or be nice or do anything to let Alhaitham know how much he likes him, because he’s far too terrified of being vulnerable. It’s much easier to just push him away, so he can avoid the heartbreak of outright rejection.
Kaveh rolls over, facing away from the door. He sighs and pulls the pillow closer to his chest as his mind slowly winds itself down.
Before he knows it, he’s asleep.
Kaveh still isn’t used to dreaming.
He had dreams when he was a child, but he can’t remember any of them in much detail. Now that the Akasha has been turned off and dreams have returned to the citizens of Sumeru, he’s only had a few here and there, and they’ve all been quite disorienting.
Even now as Kaveh dreams, his mind spinning with half-formed images and drifting emotions, he can’t quite tell what’s real. He feels half-present, as if he’s both lying in Alhaitham’s bed and hanging suspended in the unconscious realm.
“Kaveh.”
Longing throbs in Kaveh’s chest. He knows that voice. Apparently, even in his sleep he can’t escape Alhaitham’s hold on him.
“Haitham…” he replies. He tries to reach out into the dream and find the source of Alhaitham’s voice, but the room around him is too dark. Only a strip of light peeks through the curtains, not enough to make out the shifting form in front of him.
Someone grabs his outstretched hand, their fingers intertwining.
“Don’t tell me you’ve missed me,” Alhaitham whispers.
Kaveh doesn’t respond. Instead he tugs on the hand in his grip, urging Alhaitham to come closer.
Alhaitham chuckles. “What, need me to tuck you in?”
“Come here…”
The bed dips as Alhaitham joins him. He scoots in close to Kaveh, lying on his back with his head turned to look at him.
Kaveh snuggles up next to him and rests his head on Alhaitham’s chest, then wraps an arm around his waist. Alhaitham feels so solid and warm beneath him, and Kaveh lets out a content sigh.
Alhaitham brushes Kaveh’s bangs from his face. “You’re so needy.”
Kaveh doesn’t protest, just presses himself closer to Alhaitham’s body. Absently, Kaveh realizes that Alhaitham is still playing with his hair. He carefully takes out the clips holding it back, then runs his fingers through it.
Just as Kaveh is settling in, the dream begins to dissolve. He desperately tries to hold on, to live in this imagined moment for as long as he possibly can, but he can feel himself fading back into the darkness.
“Don’t go…” he whispers, clutching the front of Alhaitham’s shirt.
“Stop talking and go to sleep,” Alhaitham murmurs. He tucks a bit of hair behind Kaveh’s ear, then cups his face and caresses his cheek with his thumb.
Such a nice dream… Kaveh hopes he remembers this when he wakes up.
It’s too bright in his room when he wakes up in the morning.
Face scrunching, Kaveh cracks his eyes open to find that not only is the curtain pulled open, but the light is on.
He groggily pushes himself up to a seat and remembers that he didn’t fall asleep in his room last night. He also realizes that he’s not alone.
Alhaitham is awake and fully dressed, sitting in the chair in the corner of his room with an open book in his hand. He glances over the top of it at Kaveh.
“Sleep well?” he asks, his tone an unreadable deadpan.
Face burning with embarrassment, Kaveh practically falls out of the bed in his rush to stand up, taking the bedsheets with him. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Must’ve drank too much last night.”
Alhaitham turns back to his book. “You can make my bed before you leave.”
Kaveh grabs the sheets and hurriedly throws them back on the bed. He’s about to make a swift exit when Alhaitham speaks again.
“You shouldn’t drink alone, you know.”
Kaveh turns back over his shoulder. Alhaitham is still looking at his book.
“I wasn’t alone. I was out with friends and came home late.”
“Hm.” Alhaitham flips a page.
“Where were you, anyway?” Kaveh asks, unable to stop himself.
“Working.”
Kaveh glances at the clock, then scoffs. “You were working until nine in the morning?”
Alhaitham looks up at him, puzzled. “No? I came home last night. You really do drink too much.”
Kaveh opens his mouth to protest, but the memory of Alhaitham climbing into bed with him and pulling him close flashes into his mind.
But that was just a dream… wasn’t it?
Panic rising in his throat, Kaveh stutters, “I-I need coffee.”
“Make some for me.”
Kaveh merely grunts in response and quickly turns away. As soon as he’s out of the room and out of sight, he slaps both hands to his face.
Oh, gods.
It most definitely was not a dream.
Kaveh doesn’t know what’s worse—the fact that he asked Alhaitham to get into bed with him, or the fact that Alhaitham did so without hesitation. How is he supposed to interpret that? Is he so pathetic that Alhaitham decided to take pity on him and coddle him like a child?
Or did Alhaitham get in bed with him because he wanted to?
Kaveh thinks he might be sick. He grips the edge of the kitchen sink with both hands and leans over it.
“I am not holding your hair back if you throw up.”
Kaveh jerks back, startled, as Alhaitham joins him in the kitchen. He takes out two mugs from a cupboard then sits at the bar table and opens his book again.
“I’m not that hungover,” Kaveh mutters.
“Good, because I’m not making the coffee, either.”
Kaveh frowns, but he grabs the French press and starts making the coffee. He’s confused by Alhaitham’s casual demeanor. He’s acting as unaffected and aloof as he always does, as if whatever happened last night wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.
Once the coffee is done, Kaveh pours out both mugs. He adds a spoonful of sugar to Alhaitham’s mug and sets it in front of him before pouring cream into his own.
Alhaitham snaps his book shut and tucks it under his arm. He takes his coffee and stands, then ruffles Kaveh’s hair with his free hand. “Thanks.”
Kaveh flinches so hard he nearly spills his drink. He stares at Alhaitham, completely thrown off, but he just walks back to his room without another word.
Cuddling? Casual headpats? Alhaitham's making fun of him, isn't he?
Kaveh slumps into the barstool and takes a long, slow sip of his drink. So much for his "secret" crush. Alhaitham's probably laughing about it to himself at this very moment. Why wouldn't he, after Kaveh practically begged him to crawl into bed with him?
Kaveh leans his cheek into his palm and sighs.
So much for his nice dream.