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Six months, six whole months, half a year, roughly one hundred and eighty two days. That is how long he spent as Eggman’s prisoner. It’s how long he was stuck, useless and unable to help the resistance, ultimately letting Eggman take over the whole world. How long Tails had to fend for himself, and almost as long as the amount of time he spent thinking about Shadow. Whether or not the hedgehog had truly switched sides again after all the time they spent together. If all the care he showed was just a ruse, or if Eggman had done something to him for him to lose his memory again. He thought of something, anything, to try and explain what Shadow had done and to try and wrap his head around the betrayal. Thinking about it however, nearly hurt just as much as what Eggman was constantly putting him through.
However it was one of the only things he could find his mind drifting to whenever conscious within the cell. You spend months letting yourself be vulnerable with this person you used to hate, getting close enough to start to love them, and you think the feeling is mutual. Until you end up with a rocket boot to the back, and get put in a prison, captive only for your worst enemy to do his bidding with you. It was just confusing for Sonic, he thought that there was something mutual between the two, after two and a half months filled with flirting races and coffee dates they ended up actually dating. Why would he agree to the title of boyfriend, his boyfriend, only to take a complete 180 a month and a half later. They ate dinner together just a few nights before everything happened as well and Shadow seemed fine, he was his normal amount of homicidal and it wasn’t even directed towards Sonic. It hadn’t been at that point for months.
So it was just confusing, and it was another piece of shit Sonic had to deal with and it was getting increasingly annoying within his time on the Death Egg to have so many things to think of but having absolutely none of the answers making sense. If he didn’t die by Eggman’s hand he would probably die by the stress within this hellhole. Shadow wasn’t even one of the worst things he had focused on within his time stuck in prison. Keeping track of time was hard, especially hard when he was placed in complete solitary confinement. Which meant keeping track of whenever he would go werehog was near impossible. No amount of tally marks on walls or pestering of guards could keep him up to date.
Though that was all in the past, it was two weeks after the resistance finally beat Eggman and it was time to rest. Or at least it was time to try and rest. It was kinda hard sleeping when all your mind could gravitate to was your past six months in captivity or how fast everything moved after escaping said captivity. Even the fastest living being on Mobius needs time to process, well everything, but there wasn’t time. Citizens were getting roboticized, Infinite was distorting reality, Eggman was plotting his death, recapture, and finalization of taking over the world. So yeah, he didn’t exactly have much time to cool off after first escaping the prison.
He barely had enough time to talk with Shadow to figure out what the hell happened. Which didn’t exactly go as planned. You plan a whole angry speech until your (surprisingly) still boyfriend runs up to you and hugs you with tears in his eyes. If the hug in public was surprising, the tears were even more so. Surprising as it was, it was more than enough to convince Sonic that the Shadow who attacked him that day months ago was not the same Shadow he was holding, and he was right. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Infinite did, however Tails’ help within the situation was appreciated nonetheless
But yeah, he was still sort of struggling to get some solid sleep even after the biggest issues had been resolved. Tails said his circadian rhythm would be off, like it always was when he was up fixing an Eggman situation for multiple days, but after melatonin gummies and honest to go trying to sleep nothing worked. So he was stuck laying in bed, and there were still things he could try and fix in some way. People needed help rebuilding their houses, or he could help transport survivors. He may let Tails fly the Tornado but it is his plane and he knows how to use it, or any other plane for that matter. Thinking about it just made him antsy, especially when Amy had banned him from helping until he actually sat down and took some time to recover. Sure he went through multiple extended traumatic events, but sitting at home doing nothing wasn’t helpful to him or anyone else for that matter.
Tails wasn’t helping much either, what with his daily check ups that weren’t changing. He fought the Death Egg Robot and won with over half the current injuries he has, he could easily fly a plane full of survivors, or hit a nail into wood, hell even desk work would be better than being stuck on the couch wrapped in bandages and braces. Playing video games and watching shows is only so entertaining when you know that there’s something else that’s way more important that you could be doing. But it was two in the morning, and as ansty as he was he knew he’d probably only do more harm than good by waking up everyone trying to help them all, he also really didn’t want to face a tired Amy’s wrath.
So he was stuck lying in bed and staring at the ceiling while thinking of everything and nothing at the same time. It was impossibly frustrating, especially considering the fact that he took three melatonin gummies hours ago and they haven’t seemed to work at all. He knows he has a fast metabolism and all but the melatonin was made by Tails specifically so it was enough to work on him. Normally he’d just stay in bed and accept his fate on a night like this, but it was getting a lot harder to lie down and accept his fate when this was the tenth night in a row ending up like this.
So, he was thinking of who he could turn to, searching for anyone he knew in his head and debating whether or not it would be worth waking them up for some semblance of comfort, even if he still didn’t end up sleeping. Most of the people he thought about he also ended up vetoing mentally just moments after thinking of them. The only person that seemed like a slightly ok resource at the moment was Shadow. Which, it’s not like he was fully against going to Shadow, but after their reunion it was kinda hard seeing each other and talking through everything because Shadow ended up getting busy with resistance work and paperwork from G.U.N. so it may just be a little awkward to end up on his doorstep or at his window with no warning.
Like “Hey Shadow I know a bunch of stuff recently happened and you haven’t had any time for us to properly talk about it but I got clingy and needed someone because I’m too weak to deal with my own problems.” Yeah, despite him being the best option out of everyone he had, Shadow still wasn’t a great choice. Though, it’s not like Shadow couldn’t turn him down and tell him to go back home. Sure, it would only slightly very much hurt emotionally, but it was something he may be willing to face for a shot at actually resting tonight. The more he rests the faster Tails will clear him for helping again, which also means the faster he can sleep on his own again after a nice exhausting day of running around doing everything and nothing at once.
So really bugging Shadow and taking a chance at being allowed in his bed is helpful for everyone, not just himself. Which was more than enough personal convincing for him to take off his knee brace, place it on his bed, attempt to silently open, then jump through the window, and finally start running on the journey to the apartment. Normally he could do it in the blink of an eye, but he was trying his best not to open any scabs or break any stitches, because Tails would give him that exasperated look that he just hates because it makes him feel like the kid and he’s been taking of the kit for years now thank you very much. So he took his time getting to Shadow’s place.
And by take his time he made the 1 hour walk into a 10 minute light jog (run). He didn’t mind being slower than usual, it was nice to be able to take some time to actually take in his surroundings instead of constantly worrying about running into things at full speed. Besides he was in the apartment lobby in no time, and he was let in pretty quickly by the desk attendant who was shocked awake by his ringing to get in the building. Now all he had to do was take the elevator and he was mere moments from actually talking to Shadow again, truly and fully, for the first time in a long time. Thinking about it was almost enough to turn him around and start the run back home. However he was a bit sore and he had already gotten this far, turning back now would be useless.
So he sat, staring at Shadows door and trying to will himself to lift his hand that felt like it was filled with lead. He sat there standing in front of the door for what felt like hours before he lifted his hand to knock on the door, if Shadow didn’t answer he’d go back home no question, he knocks four times and stands there waiting, after two minutes the attempt seems unsuccessful, and he gets ready to turn around and go back home, until suddenly the door swings open and there’s a hand holding his own. Swiftly, yet carefully pulling him into a warm room that smells faintly of lavender and eucalyptus. The familiar hand pulls away only for a moment as the door clicks shut and even faster than he was pulled into the room he’s pulled into a hug. A very comforting and warm hug that on its own is almost enough to bring him to tears. Before he can say anything or do anything more a hand is brought to his face and he’s staring right into the eyes of Shadow, their foreheads touching.
“What are you doing here so late, Faker? Not that I’m ever angry to see you, even if it’s at two thirty am.” Shadow whispers softly and there’s concern laced through his voice that definitely doesn’t need to be there.
Sonic places his own hand on top of Shadows and smiles. “Couldn’t sleep, and I got bored of laying in bed sooooo I decided to come over here” He pulls his head away from Shadow’s only to come back and give him a peck on the cheek before moving away again.
The action gets a small smile from Shadow “Okay, now did you tell Tails you were leaving before you came over here?” He shifts the two of them while standing so that he takes the brunt of both of their weight on his feet, surprising Sonic making his face flush and both his ears flatten on his head.
“I hadn’t told him yet, I kinda just opened the window and ran over here. This was a little bit of an impulsive move, and I didn’t really wanna wake him up, you know? But don’t worry I’ll text him. I know you two are both worrywarts.”
Shadow raises an eye ridge at that, before looking at seemingly nothing, concerned. He then moves one of his hands off of Sonic’s arm and shifts the other arm to support their weird cuddle while standing pose. As he lifts his hand he turns to look at it and scowls, turning that attention to Sonic. ”You ran here? No wonder why you’re bleeding! You weren’t supposed to do anything strenuous for at least another week, Sonic.” Despite the angry look and tone within his voice Sonic can tell there’s some deep rooted concern and shock held within the expression.
Said concern ends up being translated into being picked up bridal style and gently being plopped onto a couch in the living room. He’s not complaining the couch is comfy and being sat down immediately helped his sore bones ache a little bit less. However he is confused when Shadow starts to walk away without saying anything else. “Shads don’t just leave me here all night! How else was I supposed to get here but by running! Come onnnn, oh you came back.”
And so Sonic is left there lying on the couch only to stare at Shadow above him, the look on his face indescribable, though enough to tell him that maybe he did fuck up deciding to come over tonight. Shadow sits on the ground, legs crossed and sets the first aid kit he grabbed while walking away on the coffee table near him. Silent while opening and grabbing the necessary materials. “Come on Shad, don’t be like this, if you’re angry just tell me. I know running here on my own was stupid and all but how else could I get here?’
Shadow sighs and stops wrapping Sonic's arm with new bandages. “I’m not angry!” His tone starts off harsh and Sonic flinches backward which causes Shadow to close his eyes, breathe in and stare out the window of his apartment “I’m sorry, I’m not angry I promise. Try to forgive me for being concerned about you after you were kidnapped for six months, only for you to get rescued by some random recruit, and for you to hide your injuries for days before you finally got forced to stop overworking yourself by literally all of us. Forgive me for being concerned about you going against the doctors orders just to see me when I would’ve ran hours just to come see you and make sure you were safe. And I yet again apologize about being worried for you, caring for you, because I have no clue what happened to you while you were gone but I know you came out of there different than the person you were before all of this happened, and I just wish I could know what happened to you so I could help you better.”
Slow tears flow down Shadow’s face and Sonic reaches over to gently wipe them away, looking directly into his eyes with a sad smile placed upon his face. “Nah, I’m the one who should be sorry. I haven’t exactly been communicating or telling anyone anything have I? I’m starting to look as emotionally constipated as you were!” Shadow scoffs and closes his eyes, placing his hand on top of the hand Sonic had placed on his face.
“I’d argue you’ve been worse than me, however arguing won’t get us anywhere.” He sighs “If I were to ask you a question would you try your best to be honest with me?”
Sonic bites his cheek and takes a moment to think before he nods “Go ahead”
“How do you feel? Please, I’d like to know.”
Shadow does his best to stare into Sonic’s eyes, red contrasting green, but Sonic looks away and swallows blinking rapidly. “I… well I uhm, man I guess to put it simply I feel like shit. Not just physically either, if that were the case I probably wouldn’t even be here right now. I can’t help but think about that room on the Death Egg, everything that happened in there as well, and when I’m not stuck… reliving would be the best word for what I do I guess, anyways when I’m not stuck reliving that room. I’m stuck on the couch, and I can’t help but feel guilty about everything that I could have prevented if I was only a little bit faster. It’s hard and it’s annoying and I needed to get out of that house before I exploded. I needed a reminder that I wasn’t stuck anymore I guess.” By the time he’s done talking he looks at the wall staring at any chips in the paint, refusing to look at Shadow.
Shadow who finished bandaging Sonic’s arm while he was speaking and cleaned up the coffee table and reorganized the med kit. Shadow who was stuck finding the right words to comfort Sonic. “I guess what we’ve been doing to you these past two weeks isn’t much better than what Eggman did to you. I mean we locked you into a confined space and left you alone because we were all too busy to spend any time with you. The most you got was treatment for your physical wounds but we’ve all let your mental ones rot and fester haven’t we?”
Sonic rubs the back of his head feeling awkward “I wouldn’t say it was that bad, but yeah it certainly wasn’t fun either. Though I know none of you guys left me intentionally, there’s a lot to do right now with the fact that the world almost ended for the thousandth time because of Egghead.” He goes to grab Shadow’s hand but before he can Shadow stands up and walks into the kitchen connected to the living room.
He flicks a switch on the water kettle and digs through a few cabinets above the stovetop. After finding the right mugs he sets them on the kitchen island behind him. He then turns to look at Sonic. “Is there any tea you’d specifically like?”
“What, Shad we haven’t finished talking-”
Shadow cuts him off “You’re right, we haven’t finished talking, however I would like to know everything that happened to you while you were gone. I wish to be here so you may get it off your chest, and seeing as how you were gone for so long this may take some time. So, I am going to make tea, and we are going to get comfortable so we can do this properly. Now, what tea would you like, and is there anything else that may make this easier?”
Sonic shifts up on the couch to lean on the arm and be more upright, tilting his head to stare at Shadow “Uhhh I don’t know if you still have that peach tea but some of that would be nice, if not you could surprise me, and I guess one of those smaller microwaveable heating packs would be nice. My knee feels a bit agitated.” He clasps his hands together and fiddles with his thumbs.
That is before Shadow comes up behind him, gives him a kiss on his head, a scratch under his chin, and places a mug in his hands. He then walks to the other side of the couch, lifts up Sonic’s legs only to sit down and place his legs on his lap. After that Shadow places the heating pack on Sonic’s knee. “Now we can begin.”
“Shadow, are you sure you wanna hear all of this? It’s not exactly pretty.” Sonic feels a squeeze on his shin and looks up to see Shadow giving an earnest smile to him.
“I’m one hundred percent sure, I want to be here for you while I can, and I don’t want you to keep remembering the Death Egg alone. You don’t have to burden these memories alone.”
Sonic smiles back and looks down into his tea mug. “Alright, I guess the best place to start would be the beginning right?” Shadow nods. “Well I guess the first thing would probably be how I got captured in the first place. It shouldn’t have been as easy as it was but then Infinite, he made this clone of you, and none of us knew what he could do at the time so it threw me off my game. If I didn’t let myself get so distracted I would’ve been able to beat him, I should have been able to beat him.” The grip on Sonic’s leg tightens and he stops talking.
“Don’t think like that, you were incredibly outnumbered and facing a foe you knew nothing about. You did your best, do not discourage yourself like that.”
Sonic chuckles “It certainly doesn’t feel like I did my best Shad, but thanks for being my number 2 supporter no matter what.” The look on Shadow’s face after that comment is best described as priceless.
“Number 2! We’re dating. How am I only number two?”
Sonic places a finger under his nose and smirks. “Because obviously no one could beat Tails in that department! We could get married and he’d still be my number one, and I’m not sorry about that.”
Shadow shakes his head and sips his tea “Continue.”
“Damn that almost worked… I guess when I first got captured things weren’t all that bad, for the first couple of things the worst thing there was the food! Though it got worse after the first transformation there. I tried my best to keep track of the days hoping I could get out before Eggman could find out I was still turning into the werehog, but I guess I just wasn’t lucky enough ya know?” He takes a few gulps of tea and takes a deep long breath before continuing. “Things were bad that first one. Something about my werehog brain got really depressed about the fact that I was alone, that I hadn’t seen you guys in what felt like forever. However, he also got really angry that I wasn’t home as well. I was able to stretch my arms out and injure a couple of guards which Eggman really didn’t like. The werehog form gave him an excuse to stop treating me like a person, especially around the full moon.”
Sonic sighs and stares at the ceiling “If how he treated me before the first transformation was considered neglect, then afterwards would be considered straight abuse, if you really wanted to stretch you could say torture? Before he’d ‘forget’” he emphasizes the word with finger quotes “to have guards send me blankets or some days even food, but things would get really genuinely physical once he considered me as something less than what I was. I mean he put a muzzle on me even when I was nowhere near close to transforming. The fact that I transformed as well gave him something to look into… to experiment on I guess. I wasn’t always awake for whatever happened but that doesn’t mean I never felt the aftermath of his poking and prodding.”
“I dunno, I’m not gonna detail everything the asshole did to me but it wasn’t pretty, and the gist of it is that things would get worse around the full moon or to me but in werehog mode. Though, from everything Eggman said it didn’t seem like he fully recognized the fact that we were the same thing. Whenever I saw him as a werehog he gave me this look, and it felt like he blamed that form for any previous failures he had because of it. And he wasn’t exactly wrong, I am the reason why he’s failed just about every plot he’s made, it’s just that he never fully directed that anger towards me as me. All of the terrible things he would do would be focused on the werehog despite the fact that the injuries would carry over anyways.”
“Though I’ll be honest with you, Eggman could poke and prod and hurt me in whatever way he wanted, but it never hurt as much as being alone did. That was something that also got worse within the small amount of time I spent as a werehog. I don’t know how else to describe it other than a hole in my chest that kept getting bigger and bigger and it wouldn’t stop growing no matter what I tried to do. It sucked, it sucked major balls.” he sniffs and before he knows it there’s tears dripping down his face and into his mug and it’s uncontrollable and annoying. Before he knows it Shadow has grabbed the mug out of his hands gently and he’s stretched over to hug Sonic.
He stays there for several moments despite how uncomfortable the pose must be and when he pulls away his eyes are misty and fogged. He settles on holding both of Sonic’s hands as they stare at each other. “I am, so, so, sorry that you ever had to go through that, and you do not know just how much I wish I could go back in time to be there to prevent that first battle from ever happening. I could care less about it preventing the stupid doctors plans on world domination, damnit I wish I could do it just to save you. I knew when I first saw you something about you had changed but now that I know what caused it I just.” He sighs “I really, truly wish I could have prevented it.”
“You said I changed? Did I really change that much? Shadow please I’m still the same person from before all of this, it wasn’t that bad really.”
The grip on Sonic’s hand gets tighter. “Not, in a bad way, never in a bad way. Faker. Having trauma is going to change you no matter what, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it's bad. You’re still you despite what you went through.”
Sonic frowns and stares at Shadow worried green meeting vexxed red “I’m still yours though right?” and suddenly they connect.
“Yes, you’ll always be mine, no matter what Eggman does to you.”
Sonic sighs, then giggles “Even if he turned me into a wooooorm?”
Shadow moves back, shocked for a moment before he coughs and settles down. “If I can love you as a big furry monster then I can most assuredly love you as a worm.”
The smile on Sonic’s face is big and goofy, even when it’s cut off by a yawn suddenly tired now that all the crying has caught up, as well as the room getting less tense. Which causes Shadow to get up, grab Sonic, and start the walk to his bedroom. “You know, I’d love you if you also turned into a worm.”
“Glad to know, however I never doubted you wouldn’t, despite how whimsical the idea itself is.”
“It’s not whimsical, it is a very realistic thing to worry about, kay?”
Shadow sets Sonic on the bed and starts to lay down next to him. “We can continue this tomorrow, ok? All of it, and we can talk whenever you want to, you aren’t alone anymore, and never again if I have anything to say about it.”
Sonic smiles and wraps an arm around Shadow, digging his face into his side. “I’ll try to remember that.”
Shadow kisses the top of his head again, intertwining his fingers with the hand draped across his chest. “Then I’ll try my hardest to make you unable to forget.”