Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

  Pamela lays her head on the cold metal floor. "Damn, no carpets.. we must really be that bad" Ivy thinks to herself. Let's clear some things up, she does have a not so comfortable bed, she chooses to lay on the floor for whatever reasons. While she lays and thinks about all the dumb shit she plans on doing when she leaves this hell hole, a bang on her cell door causes Pamela to jolt up.

"No you can't come in i'm busy!" She yelled to whoever was banging on the door, she didn't give enough shits to check

"I'm not asking Isley, this is important!" A familiar voice, not one of the guards

"Let me guess, is it you finally coming to the realization i'm in here for no fucking reason Batman?"  Bruce rolled his eyes and continued to bang on her door

He didn't have to wait that long for her to open the door. Two guards came to assist him and three more just incase Ivy wanted to pull something funny

"Oh, you finally found a way in did you?" Pamela faked a laugh, Batman just glared at her

"So why are you here, lunch isn't until another four hours?" She asked, but Batman just glared

Whatever he was staring didn't bother Ivy as much as the prisoner behind him

"Now, from the look of your eyes, you by now can tell you now have a brand new cellmate" Batman finally spoke

"What happened to the last one?" Robin asked standing somewhere next to the bat creature

Pamela didn't notice him at first, shit. He had so many Robins she couldn't tell if this was a new one

"She had some difficulties with him..." Batman muttered

Oh yeah, the last one she remembers, they once tried to pull this cellmate bullshit on her

And let's just say he went missing..

"Hiya!" the overly pitched voice called

Oh god, a childish bitch was bunking with her.. let's see how long it takes before she goes missing. Pamela thinks to herself but not for long until Batman shoves the girl in the cell.

"This is Harley, and Harley this is Ivy.. play nice" Batman snarled as he left the room along with the guards

"Oh brother.." Pamela muttered

"Hiya! I'm Harley!!!" The pigtailed girl squealed

"Can you talk normally please?" Ivy asked with a hint of desperation, she truly wasn't in the mood for a cellmate

"Gee.. no need to be a meanie red!" The pigtailed freak proceeded to stick her tongue at Ivy

"The hell you just call me blondie!?" Pamela was standing up now

"Ooooh, I like that one!" Harley jumped

"What is your problem HarleyI!?"  Ivy was getting closer with each world

"Nuttin buttercup! just a' little bored in this stinky place!" Harley pouted as she plopped on the floor

"By any chance, are you connected to Joker in some .. way?" Pamela asked adding some unnecessary hand movements

"Uh ya, we use ta be peanut butta n jelly!" Harleys big painted eyes lit up

"Oooouu I remember da two of us! runnin from batsy, n causing crime, we were a handful if ya ask me" 

"I can tell..." Ivy sighs as she makes her way back to her bed

"So durin lunch time can ya show me round this garbage factory red?"

"Sure why not... i'll even show you to a few of my friends.." Ivy grins

"Friends! I love friends!!!!!!" She smiled

"Yeah.." Ivy hums, "I love friends to..."

And for more information, Ivy in fact did not do friends nor did she like them

Chapter Text

  "Soooooo who ya friends!" The smaller blonde squealed as she followed Ivy. "You'll see them real soon.." she muttered. She didn't know what was wrong today, well everyday is shit for her. But today... maybe she didn't get enough sleep since she had blondie moved in. "Ivy over here!" A voice called from the back of the cafeteria. Harley watched as Ivy rolled her eyes.

"Hey, don't throw that away... thats food Ivy!" Jason lectured. Harley stayed quiet, normally she would be happy to meet everyone but.. she already met them before when she hung around Joker, she was just never close like that. "Yeah I know it's food Todd, but I don't want it so it's garbage!" she argued. While they was doing all that fussing over food, a special someone came to the table. 

"Oh, I see the whole gang is here!" Joker applauded. Harley turned her head so fast she almost thought she snapped it. "M..m...mista J?" She said in awe, "is it really you!" She ran and attempted to jump in his arms only to be pushed away. "Unt unt unt princess, not so fast!" Harley felt her heart drop as she heard all the laughs coming from the table.

"Okay guys knock it off, it wasn't even that funny!" Ivy demanded and everyone stopped laughing. "I know you are NOT laughing Oswald, you and your fat fucking stomach, it's literally going to burst!!" Ivy teased. Oswalds face turned red, but nobody could tell if he was embarrassed or angry. "Well Ivy if I was you i'd watch that pretty fucking mouth of yours" "Oh you want a piece of me fat fuck!?" 

"HEY BREAK IT UP OVER THERE!!" One guard called

"SOMEONE GET OVER TO THAT TABLE AND STOP THOSE TWO!!" Another called

The rest of them watched as Ivy and Oswald was pulled out the cafeteria

"Wait where is she uh going guys!" Harley asked worried

"I dunno, somewhere away from Oswald, that's all I can tell you" Jason muttered

"oh Jasonnnnn, aint ya bats kid?" The blond asked

Jason got annoyed

"Yes.... I am connected to Batman in some kind of way.." Jason mumbled as he stabbed at his chicken

"Jason be careful before you hurt yourself!" Slade warned from a corner

Harley didn't see him there

"Hiya Sladie!" She yelped

"Oh brother leave me alone.." He rolled his eyes as he evacuated from the corner 

"Aw shucks, anyways hows everybody been lately!" 

"Fine.." Riddler groaned 

"Awww ya don't gotta riddle for me!?" Harley puted

"Well, normally I would so I understand the doubt.. but I am not in a riddler mood right now sigh" 

"Oh..." Harley was surprised she wasn't dumped with riddle after riddle

"So no plan ta breaking out of arkham guys?" Harley was dumbfounded

"Well smart face, if you see us still what does that mean to you?" Jason snorted

"No reason ta be mean ta me robin boy!" 

It took a while, but Harley felt apart of Ivys little gang

Chapter Text

   Pamela was woken up by the sound of whimpering, Not the sex kind, a more... depressing kind, if that made any sense.  She was going to shut the noise out and just drift back to sleep, but something caught her attention. 

"Why doesn't he love me.." a strained voice cried. It was hushed if she could describe it any better. Shit, who could blame her? she was running on four hours of sleep.

"Cellmate?" Ivy called out. Of fucking course she forget the girls name already. "I.. I mean H..har..Harley?" 

"He doesn't love me Ivy..." she cried, much quieter this time

"Who doesn't love you?" Ivy decided she'd get closer and see the blond face to face. That should work better than calling to her across the cell.

"Mista J... he neva loved me Ivy!" The blond pouted with despair 

"Oh cmon, who cares he's a whole dude.." Ivy snorts

"So?" Harley asked looking up at Ivy

"Yeah he's a fucking guy, this is why i'm a lesbian, women just do it better you know?"  The redhead added

"Lesbian..? Ya like eatin pussy?" Harley cackled. Ivy rolled her eyes in response.

"I mean it's more than eating pussy, it's just the beauty and love between two girls.." Ivy continued, "something you cant find in men.."

Harley didn't say anything

"Listen, there is a major difference, take it from someone who been with men and women!" Ivy sparked

"Oh... so ya suck dick n eat pussy?" The blonde asked completely lost

"No you dumbass, I don't like men at all!?" Ivy snarled 

"So what is it about women?" 

"Women understand each other better.. you know its hard to explain it to someone like you" Ivy said with a hint of sarcasm in her tone

"Whats tat suppose ta mean?" the blonde was getting defensive now. All Ivy could do was laugh

"It means you've never been in a real relationship!" 

"Uh I totally have been-"  Ivy cut the blonde off

"Don't you dare fix your mouth to say Joker!" she warned

"Fine then, guess I neva been in sum real.." Harley pouted

Ivy liked to say, it took her awhile to get attached or use to someone. Especially someone invading her personal space. But something was truly different about Harley. 

"Listen darling, don't ruin a pretty face over the joker.." Ivy cooed as she cupped Harleys pale cheeks

"And uh why is that?" The blond blushed in her hands. Ivy noted that in the back of her head

"Because," Ivy got close to Harleys ear, "women can do it so much better.." Ivy pulled away smirking 

Ivy got up walked back to her side, she didn't look back to see the blush left on Harleys face.

"Red.. can I ask you uh question?" The blonde whispered

"Make it quick, i'm fucking tired.." Ivy groaned as she rubbed her eyes

"Can ya be my fake girlfriend.. I know ya might say n-" 

"Sure whatever just shut your pretty little mouth and go to sleep.." Ivy mumbled into her pillow

"Okay whateva ya say babe!" Harley giggled

Needs to say, Ivy wasn't fully there when she agreed to be Harleys fake girlfriend, But with choices came consequences. But were all consequences bad?

Chapter Text

  Ivy huffed, she was thinking to herself. Why was the blonde lunatic all over her. Well let's take a few steps back. Right now they're in the yard doing yard stuff. Ivy is watching Jason play basketball while she occasionally argues with Oswald. Between the time of her arguing with Oswald and watching Jason, she didn't realize the blonde girl clinging onto her arm like a lost child.  

"Whats her problem?" Oswald snorted, jeez what was his issue. 

"Hey, I aint do nuttin to ya fatty patty!" Harleys voice was muffled in Ivy's sleeve

"Whats your fucking problem!?" Ivy cursed

"Calm down, I was just wondering why you have her all on you, you guys datin or something?" Oswald began to snicker

"Whats so funny, you know honestly you are way to worried about other peoples lives.. considering yours might be cut short!" Jason was getting mad now

"Calm down Jay, I can handle this" Pamela reassured as she turned her attention back to Oswald

"Listen even if me n uh red was datin which we are, what dat gotta do witchu!?" Harley whipped her head up now. FYI alot of people here hated Oswald.

"Oh so you turned Jokers bitch into a lesbo?" Ivy was so close to beating the shit out of Oswald and Harley, which was surprising. She considered herself a calm person. (She was not)

Jason on the other hand, he was probably plotting on throwing a basketball at Oswald when the guards weren't looking.

"Jason if your planning on throwing a fucking ball at this fat piece of shit, do it now before I do.." Ivy warned

"Im just curious how you manage to do that..Impressive if you uh ask me.." He was being sarcastic, and she knew it

"She's not my girlfriend!!" Ivy protested

"But red you tol-"

"I didn't mean anything I said, I was running off of eight fucking hours of sleep!!" Ivy shouted causing an audience

Jason began to shoo them away

"We got staring problems or what!?" Jason called out in a threatening tone

Most of them cleared up and went back to whatever they were doing, but a few stayed to watch

"I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU HARLEY!!" Ivy yelled in fury

Everything went quiet and everyone was staring now

Ivy wasn't the type to regret things, if she said something she meant it

However, seeing the way Harleys eyes teared up

Ivy felt...

Bad?

Regret?

Whatever it was it wasn't norma;

She never felt any real feelings for humans..

Why was Harley different?

Chapter Text

  Ivy sighed as she took another sip of the vodka Selina snuck. "Selina, I really don't what to do..." Ivy complained. Selina was the closest thing Ivy had to a friend. Considering she hated everyone and everything that lived at Arkham. "Well what did you do?" Selina scoffed. Ivy paused, what didn't she do at this point?  Ivy started to jot some things down.

• She accepted to be Harleys fake girlfriend
• Embarrassed her in front of almost everyone at the yard
• Yelled at harley
• Fat shamed Oswald

Selina gave her a confused look. "Why did you cross that one out?" Selina pointed. "Oh, because that really isn't bothering me..." Ivy chewed on the eraser to her pencil. "Its more of this..." Ivy drew a circle around the first two bullet points. "Harley?" Ivy gave Selina a look, "keep it down.." Ivy whispered. They weren't technically alone in this part of Arkham. Prisoners, and sometimes guards, occasionally cruised passed this area. But the guards who came by never cared what the prisoners were doing. So thats where everyone went if they wanted a drink or a smoke.

"So you do have feelings for Harley?" Selina questioned again. Ivy rolled her eyes trying to avoid the question being asked. She didn't want to believe she was falling in love, that would ruin her!? "I... just need help, how do I get over this!" Ivy groaned as her head dropped into her hands. Selina was smirking on the other hand, "so you got a little crush on the blondie?" Ivy whipped her head, "Don't put it like that Selina!"

The two girls continued bickering over Ivy's "crush" situation. That was until they heard maniacal giggling getting louder with each step. "Who the hell is that.." Selina twirled her head. "Holy shit.. it's-"

"Hiya girlies what we doooiiin!" Everyone in the room (or space) looked at the three girls. "You do know this is a smoke and drink spot, if you wanna hang out i suggest you exit the same way you entered." Of course Slade was here, and had something slick to say. Ivy was ready to beat the shit out of anyone right now. "Slade I suggest you keep your fucking mouth shut if you value your worthless life." Ivy growled. 

"Ivy calm down, and Harley sit down.." Selina whispered, finally she was whispering. But all that silent went to waste when Harley pulled some grey box out of her ass. "What is that!?" Selina was whispering but in a demanding tone, if that made sense. "A music box guys?" Harley answered as if it was obvious. "They allow that stuff in here?" Slade called from the other side of the room. Just when Ivy thought he caught the hint

Thats when the music started playing. 

Oh dear diary, I met a boy

He made my doll heart light up with joy

Oh dear diary, we fell apart

Welcome to the life of HARLEY QUINN!

Ivy could tell she switched the lyrics around at the end, didn't sound right at all. But cute, she had a .. cute voice?

"Cmon Red, sing wimme!" Harley pouted

How could Ivy say no

"I.."

She didn't want to, but seeing Harley all pouty, she owed her. (And Selina was giving her a death stare)

"Sure.." Ivy smiled as she took Harleys hand

"What ya wanna sing red?" Harley fiddled with the box

"Oh.." Ivy wasn't the music type..

"If you want we can pick a song out together!" Harley moved in a bit closer to Red

"Can we do..." Ivy scrolled through Harleys playlist..

"How to be a heartbreaker?" 

Ivy watched as Harley clicked on the song, she smirked

"Cmon Red, show me watchu got!" 

Ivy felt her stomach sink

She wasn't a singer...

Chapter Text

"Oh em geee red, did ya see the letter I got!?" Harley squealed as she jumped up and down. Ivy sighed, needs to say; Harley's verbal speaking skills were improving. So she became more tolerable. 

"What are you gawking about? give it here!" Ivy scoffed, gently grabbing the piece of paper from the blonde. 

You are invited to a date dinner hosted by Selina Kyle xoxo

"Did Selina give this to you, Harls?" Ivy asked, not noticing the nickname she gave the blonde. "Hmmm, I don't think so." Harley hummed. "Well then, I guess we have plans tonight don't we?" Ivy smiled looking into Harley's widen eyes. "Are ya asking me on a date red!?" Harley beamed with joy. "Would you forgive me for the shit I said in the yard?" 

"Awh red I didn't take you for the romantic kind! of course I'd forgive ya!!" Harley giggled. 

"Well then, shall we?" Ivy grinned stretching her hand out for the other girl to take. 

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"So, how did you meet the Joker exactly?" Ivy asked, as she sipped her wine. Good shit, it be left a mystery how Selina managed to sneak it in though. 

"Well.. I use ta work as a doctor for crazy people and.." Harley paused, "He took advantage of me red, and the worst of it all is that I still love him til death does us part." Ivy could sense the dread in Harleys voice. 

"Hmph, I understand how hard it is to leave someone you love." Ivy sighed. 

"Red, will you teach me how to love?" Harley asked, big puppy eyes and all staring into Ivy's.

Ivy broke eye contact with blonde

"Awh, are ya blushin? you should do that more often." Harley giggled, she also had food in her mouth so the giggle was more on the muffled side. 

"Please be quiet, i have a very thin line of patience." Ivy groaned. It was in her best interest she ignores the feelings the blonde gave her whenever she was around.

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"Hey cuties, how's the date going?" Selina grinned as she made her way to the table the two were occupying.

"Needs to say, I am impressed. Is this a casual thing you host for jail lovebirds?" Ivy wasn't too big on whatever Selina did in her free-time. She knew she was close with most of the guards, and being able to sneak anything in past them. Christ, Ivy wouldn't be surprised if Batman knew all the shit Selina pulled here.

"Hmph, only the ones I like." Was all Selina said, winking at Harley. 

"Oh boy, you betta watch ya self. My girl don't play about this one!" Harley pouted, pointing to herself.

"I bet she doesn't, you know.. I know Ivy for a reaaaal long time Harley." Selina took a seat next to Harley, intruding on their date night.

"Woah, what do you think you're doing?" Ivy asked, irritated.

"I promise I wont say anything embarrassing about you." Selina giggled. Jesus, Ivy didn't mentally prepare herself for all the social interaction she had to do today.

"Awh Selina, I appreciate the y'know tryna get us closer thingy. But seriously," Harley whispered, "Let her tell me when she is ready to."

"Well suit yourself, you'll never know." Selina felt a bit heartbroken, but she could manage,

Ivy was impressed, she definitely had to put some respect on Harleys name. She expected the blonde to be all crazy and intrude on Ivy's personal life. But she didn't, on top of that she wanted Ivy to be comfortable enough to tell her when the time comes. What a sweetheart.

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