Chapter Text
Gon isn't the best in class.
He ranked third to the last in his 2nd grade class list. Took him three semesters to master the art of writing, and another two for the art of reading. He always failed math exams, and often had to take remedial classes every summer to relearn addition and subtraction because for some right-brain reason, he isn't just a logical-type of a person.
But he has a sharp memory.
He remembers which part of the body functions for what or which kind of a plant is the best cure for what symptoms, people, especially his teachers, often conclude it as something he inherited from his father. Someone expected to possibly follow his doctor-of-a parent foot step, only if Gon never lost a second to disappoint them by becoming the most frequent visitor of the Principal office.
Well, they cannot really blame a child with a lack of attention to seek one particularly if only one of the parents are present, but almost absent, to provide sufficiently.
Gon understands this, of course. It wasn't much obvious from the way he made troubles, but he knew that his father was doing the best he could to both be a good father and provider for their family….well, for the two of them.
It has always been the two of them. His other parent, mother if biologically referred to, had always been out of the picture.
Despite having a sharp memory, Gon only has a hazy memory of his mother.
In his memory, she is almost a foot smaller than his father, blonde hair, messy, and a pale skin that her gray orbes contrast it brightly that Gon always found himself mesmerized by how it slowly somehow shifted to a slight pink as she hummed a lullaby in a tone too foreign Gon cannot remember what language it was. Then she would refer to him as something, too dearly and gently, he recognized it as an endearment from the way it was followed by a peck of kiss on his cheeks.
He must be in an age of less than one in the memory as he can feel himself being floated from the ground, rocked by a pair of soft arms in a messy room different from their current resident. It was too small, the kitchen was a walking distance from the single bed where his crib was a step foot away. There was a collection of unwashed plates and cooking utensils on the sink, scattered toys on the floor, an unmade bed, and their metal trash overflowed with used diapers and some plastic packaging of instant foods.
But Gon didn't mind it.
He didn't mind any of his surroundings, only the tone humming from his mother's throat that was too comforting he could feel himself shifting to his sleep. Only that another sound stopped it, the door was carelessly opened and it pulled him out of his lethargic state.
Comfort interrupted, he cried. His mother growled under her breath, a combination of exhaustion and tension, followed by a hiss that made little Gon feel sick.
He cried harder.
"Damn it, if you cannot find yourself useful, be at least quiet!"
"I'm sorry! I- shit- did you see my syllabus? I was looking for it everywhere, I need it to prepare my report?!" It was the voice of his father, something he was certain of, slightly apologetic.
His mother tried to calm him down by rocking him a little faster than before, tho, still gentle Gon found himself enjoying the change of pace. He felt his mother take a deep breath, looked around, took a few steps, and unflipped a few pillows on the bed and opened some drawer cabinets before she suggested his father look at the top shelves.
"It's not here."
"Have you checked your case yet?"
"I already did. It wasn't there. I remember I left it on the table before you asked me to buy groceries."
Gon was now asleep, but the voices of the adults around him were still audible in his ears. He can hear her mother taking careful steps toward their round table, the sounds of plastic being folded he remembered his mother used to do when disposing of the garbage. As well as the sounds of porcelain plates and glasses being placed on the sink from the wooden dining desk.
"I don't know where it was, Leorio. I'm sorry! There's a lot going on here, I might have thrown it away already." She said, then the sound of water falling down from the faucet.
"What! That's my only copy." His father almost shouted, then the volume turned down when Gon released a soft whimper.
There's a short silence after that, Gon adjusted to his side before he overheard his father. "Fine, I'll just get another one." Calmer.
"I'm sorry!" The water kept falling, along the utensils being drummed by its droplets it filled the void of silent atmosphere.
Then a few steps and a few little movements before the water stopped running down from the faucet. Then a gentle light whispered, "It's fine, let me do that so you can take a rest. Okay?"
It was sweet. They were sweet. Gon only realized that when he turned three and a half and started to notice that something was missing ever since they changed residency. It didn't only feel that their new house became bigger, at least now that there's a separator between the kitchen, the bedrooms, and their small common room; it also became more quiet.
He can now walk and be independent for a toddler so he can now sleep on his own bed, in his own room. At their old apartment, he used to sleep from the bedtime stories narrated by his mother. He slightly remembers how warm those nights used to be. A soft pillow under his head and delicate fingers tucking some hair behind his ears, then the lovely hands would slide down to tuck his cotton blanket on his chest before his mother would give a few taps on his arms. It was mostly always orange, the light of the bedside lamp illuminating their whole room and radiating against his mother's shoulder length hair.
His father usually came home late. Gon was only able to see him during mornings when he had to make potty and Leorio had to leave for his med school classes.
Then they moved and Leorio's return became earlier, it frequently became his father who narrated his bedtime stories than his mother. Then he was also the one who prepared his breakfast the next morning. Despite the blunt breakfast, Gon didn't even complain as he was only too excited to finish his breakfast because his father told him they were going out for the day.
His father brought him to a daycare. He became easily attracted to the colorful toys; he only remembered the time when some female staff announced to him that his father had returned to bring him home.
Gon didn't even realize he left.
Then they ate dinner outside and came home with Leorio being the one, again, who narrated his bedtime story that night.
Then the events happened again the next morning and became a routine until Gon started schooling.
It was fun and interactive, Gon made a few friends and had a few laughs until it's time for him to go home. It was August and autumn was about to come, the clouds were humid, the sky was gray, and it started raining. Some of his classmates ran back inside their room to avoid getting wet from the rain. He stayed outside, allowing his palm to catch a few raindrops until his sight caught a pair of parents fetching out one of his classmates.
It wasn't a new sight so he didn't pay much attention to it until all of his classmates had already been fetched by their parents and only Gon was left in their room with his kindergarten teacher.
Again, it was fine. He was used to the setting. It was always him who left last. He's sure that his father will arrive in a few more minutes to fetch him and they will eat dinner in his favorite fast food restaurant.
But that didn't happen.
The rain had already stopped falling, the sky repainted to darker shades. Gon felt like he was staring in an endless void, and the teacher started to worry. He asked Gon if he had his Father's number, Gon gave it.
"Honey, it's unattended. Do you have your mother's number, instead?" His teacher asked and that's when Gon only found the answer on why everything feels too different.
His mother started missing.
His mother left him.
And for the first time since he overheard the information that his innocent mind was too young to comprehend from the conversation between his father and his uncle Zephile years ago, tears streamed down Gon's eyes his teacher was too stunned to speak nor comfort him.
It was only at that moment that his father arrived, lifted him with one arm, and bid an apology and a thank you tohis teacher. Gon busted his tear against his father's shoulder until his father calmed him on their car passenger seat with a bribe of ice cream as an apology because he made Gon wait.
But Gon wasn't crying because he waited. He was crying because he felt abandoned, unloved, someone who wasn't worthy of staying because his mother left him and didn't even tell him her reasons.
So he asked his father.
After a few hesitations, attempts, and a few questions he accumulated from the hazy pieces of memories coming back to him from his infancy, he finally asked the whereabouts of his mother when he turned 2nd grade.
"It was…complicated." Then a few breaths brought from the lack of sleep and unpreparedness of the questions Leorio didn't expect his son would ask this soon.
"I'll tell you when you get older."
But Gon believes he was old enough to know. He meant, the few years he hasn't heard about her mother — he doesn't even if she is still alive or dead, nor why there's no images of her in their new household that, thanks to that, Gon almost forgot he had her— was enough for Gon to hear the side of her stories.
"Let's make a deal."
Leorio said as soon as he buckled up his seatbelt. Gon, now ten, was sitting in the passenger seat while eating the vanilla ice cream he got as an amenity for being punched in the face. Well, he wasn't the one who started the fight this time. He just came to the rescue for his girl classmate who needed help from the bullies of their class. His act was actually heroic, only that that school favored the student with more parental donation than the one with a single parent.
Nevermind, he got his ice cream and a little smile appearing from the side of his lips as, at some point, he had a clue that his tactics were finally working.
"You'll stop calling me into the principal office, and in return…" Leorio massaged his forehead as if he didn't want the options he thought of himself, but also aware that it is the only choice he has in order ro stop this event happening again in the future. It's not that Gon was not his priority — God , he'll even give up everything for Gon — but he is in fifth year in residency and cannot afford any unnecessary distraction which includes a weekly visit to the Principal's office. It's unfortunately Leorio's sixth visit and Gon only has one favor left before he is kicked out of his first primary school, Leorio would rather not arrange transfer papers in the middle of the year because he absolutely has no time for that.
So he gave up.
"In return…I'll tell you about your other father."
Leorio knew these were all Gon's strategies, as simple-minded as he was, and if revisiting the past wounds was the mere way to shut him up, so be it.
"Other father?" Gon's forehead creased. He started to wonder if all his memories were all wrong. He clearly remembered that he had a mother, biologically. Or was he adopted all along in the first place?
Gon's mind started to puzzle. He didn't realize that their engine started to roll and that his ice cream began to melt on his skin.
"I'll explain everything to you when we get home." Leorio promised, noticing the confusion of his son, before he turned their car to the direction of Gon's favorite drive thru.
They got home. Leorio prepared the table. The room soon filled with the smell of his favorite fried chinese noodles. Usually, Gon would change out of his school uniform first before sitting on his dinner seat. His doctor-of-a-father, despite the lack of organizational skills, often reminds him of the importance of proper hygiene as it is the root of germs and other infected diseases. But today, Gon did not perform any of the required hygiene routine but directly settled his ass on his dinner seat.
The hanging lamp was shedding dim light over their dinner table. It was kinda mellow. It has always been like that but it is only now that Gon is aware and determined to know the reason why.
Because they were sweet. If his memories ( he absolutely now doubted it) served him right, his parents were happy. They have ups and downs, some misunderstanding if his infant's conclusions can be trusted, but they were in love.
She…he, his mother or…other father (Gon absolutely has no idea what to refer them), was kind to him. He loved Gon, Gon felt it.
So what changed?
-
"Did she died?!" Gon asked, ignoring the order of his father to change out of his school uniform first.
"No. And she is a he ." Gon breathed a sigh of relief before he clarified the confusions he's been having since the mention of other father , "He?"
Gon titled his head, innocent eyes shining determination to get the answers he's been dying to hear. Leorio nodded.
"Am I adopted?" Not even a hint of grudge from the possibility, Gon asked.
Leorio chuckled, he knew how Gon was almost his carbon copy so the question was really stupid.
"Where did you get that idea?!" Leorio asked, shaking his head as he transferred the contents of fried noodles from its disposable ready-to-go paper containers to their porcelain plates. He is an advocate of healthy living but he sure is a hypocrite for the dinner they're having.
Gon shrugged.
"Because you said other father? Or he wasn't my biological parent, that's why it's so easy for him to leave?" Now using the right pronouns, Gon started forking out the noodles from his plate. Slurping them in as he pretended he wasn't hurt by the possible truth presented from his own questions.
He heard Leorio release a sigh.
"He was…your biological father, the one who gave birth to you." Leorio explained.
"Isn't he a man?" Gon asked innocently.
"He is…well, he identified himself as one but he was actually assigned female at birth. Biologically, it means…he is capable of giving birth. That's how we have you." Leorio explained in words Gon could easily understand.
Gon stared at his father as if processing the flow of information, but to no avail. "I don't get it." Slurped another noodle.
Leorio chuckled again, rubbed the top of his head. "It's alright kiddo, that's why I told you it's too early for you to know."
"Then it must be hard for him to decide to have me." Gon concluded, too smart for his own understanding Leorio was actually surprised he arrived at the conclusion.
"Is that why he left?" Gon added, Leorio removed his hands from Gon's head. Take another few breaths before settling himself in the seat in front of Gon's.
"It wasn't your fault." Leorio started, reaching for his fork to join Gon.
Gon had tried to believe that. He kept eating.
"Your other father, Kurapika, and I got divorced." Gon's ears flopped from hearing the name. It is a combination of foreignity and familiarity Gon doesn't know what to feel.
Kurapika . He played the name on his head, remembering it from the fear that it would not be mentioned again in the future.
"Divorced?" He clarified, the world was too unworldly (at least for a 10 year olds world) that it sounded like something bad.
"We ended things, stopped being married."
"Why?!" Leorio hadn't even finished his explanations when Gon busted another question.
"We have different things we wish to… pursue." There's a hesitation, a fear for the validation of the reason.
"Which requires him to leave? Stopped being a parent?"
Leorio paused, hearing the disappointment and pain evident in Gon's words.
Sadly, Gon was right.
"Yes." Leorio answered, with difficulty. "I'm sorry, buddy." As if it was the hint that the conversation was over, Gon knew it.
"Are you done?!" Leorio asked as soon as he noticed that Gon stood up from his seat, plate still half unfinished.
Gon only nodded, "The ice cream might have ruined my appetite, sorry dad. I'll head to my room now."
"Ughhh…sure." Understanding the actions, Leorio didn't stop him.
It was a step from his door that Gon chose to replace the silence that was being filled by the barking of the dogs from the outside.
"Ahhh…dad?" He heard Leorio humming, waiting for the continuation.
"Thank you." Gon said.
"For what?"
"Because you're doing everything to raise me on your own and I haven't been vocal on how much I appreciate you for staying."
That wasn't the first time Gon was being honest as he was actually the kind who does not hesitate to lay down his feelings, but that was the first time that Leorio blushed from the honesty. A smile blossomed on the side of his lips as he shook his head in embarrassment.
"Fine, Fine. I’ll do the dishes tonight.”