Chapter Text
The air was tense as the Behavioural Analysis Unit of the FBI began to walk out their hotel. They had just finished up a case in Asheville, North Carolina. The unsub had been suffering from a schizophrenic episode in which they had begun to kidnap young teenagers, they were never hurt per say, not physically at least. When those who were kidnapped were set free they often began to be fearful of their parents and people of authority, over half of the 12 victims ended up running away. No this man hasn't hurt them physically but psychologically is another thing to consider. These children had severe PTSD, often ending with them suffering from their own psychotic episodes. The unsub had lost his own teenager to a police raid in a store, she had been collateral damage, he used her as a shield. A new cop, had the only clean shot and couldn't so another member had to take it, and they didn't get it in time before she had lost her life to the actual offender,
It had crushed the Unsub, Markus thorn, and it was the trigger to late-onset schizophrenia. After a month of his own mind deceiving him he gave in to their wishes. It had taken a week of the team's time to even find guy. Though one member of the team was the most affected. While most of the team went back to the hotel after a full day of staring at the case evidence, Reid had stayed back, and if someone told him to come back to the hotel with them he would say he would catch up with them soon, and then never leave the station. He was living off crappy coffee and crappy vending machine snacks.
He couldn't get rid of the image of his own mothers episodes, he knew she never knew what happened after them, knew how guilty she would feel if she did. He needed to catch this guy, to give him his own free will back. Spencer was often asked to take lead on cases involving those with schizophrenia due to his own experience with it, his expertise as JJ would call it. He wouldn't call it that, he would call it his need to understand everything about his mother as a way of staying sane within his own house, but he would nod and take lead on the case nonetheless. It's not like he could say no, no one else has the amount of knowledge he does on the matter.
As they piled into the two black SUVs they were provided, Hotchner, Reid, Rossi in one. Morgan, Prentiss and JJ in the other. They all were happy to go home, sure. However, Spencer had just made a rude remark towards Prentiss, she had commented on the fact Reid had likely not even opened his to go bag, he got snappy and replied "Oh just because i wanted to make sure teenagers didn't have to go through trauma while you guys slept, i can't look after my hygiene?" It was out of character for the youngest of their team, so they were all shocked.
They knew spencer still looked after his hygiene, maybe not his health but he always made sure to shower, brush his teeth and change his clothes, even while he rarely left the station. Rossi didn't even hesitate to say Reid was going in their car, Hotch agreeing. Spencer grumbled annoyed as he threw his bag into the trunk and climbed inside. Since then he had not spoken a word. Hotch had been trying to get something out of the kid, anything. He ranged from 'Did you remember everything?' to 'what in the hell was that spencer'. Reid ignored the questions and chose to stare out the window.
The sight of the airport was a welcoming one, they were going home. Rossi had pulled over a mile away from the parking area "What was that Spencer?" He got a glare before "Just leave me the fuck alone" before the agent got out of the car, grabbing his bag and decided to walk to the mile. Sure he may take a while, but it got him out of that environment, that suffocating disappointment, anger. Spencer couldn't take it.
It was lucky that they had left an hour early to catch a flight on a plane that lifted off half an hour after they would have arrived, as it took spencer forty-five minutes to get to the aircraft, where he put his stuff, minus his satchel, into his space before he sat down in the corner couch. Right in the corner.
Hotch had looked over, the entire group tense, not wanting to set the other off again. Aaron however, did not care. He began to converse with Rossi. Talking about their plans for once they finished up within the office. This started the rest of the group up to start having their chats within their groups. Reid by that point put headphones on and started to listen to a podcast about the nervous system.
Once Morgan was sure that Spencer couldn't hear them, he walked to Hotch "He didn't come on with you guys?" Rossi shook his head "No, we couldn't get him to talk and when i did a last ditch effort of stopping the car he just yelled at me and got out," Morgan looked worried as Rossi finished "he walked a mile to get here." No one was sure how to deal with such a grumpy version of Spencer. They were used to the, scared, the tired, the happy, the hyper and even the drunk Reid. Yet no one had a solid plan for the grumpy Reid. JJ had begun to listen in "Maybe he just needs some space?" Emily nodded, they did however need someone to tell Spencer that, they didn't want him thinking they hated him once he was feeling less grumpy. "Morgan you should tell him when we get back to the office"
Derek nodded before they all settled again, Hotch starting paperwork, Rossi writing in his journal. JJ calling Will and Henry. Morgan and Prentiss playing a game of go fish, a simple card game as it was only an hour and fifteen minutes to get from Asheville to Quantico.
Spencer was still just listening to the Podcast, he had watched his team slightly as they got settled into their reserved places after wheels up. Once that was done he settled down himself, curling into the corner, just allowing the words of the podcast, it wasn't a very long one, as it was only meant for professors to allow students to have a brief understanding of the nervous system but it was just so he could doze off without the team thinking it was so he could ignore them, even if that was its purpose.
After another hour and a bit, they were informed to put their seatbelts on, Reid was still asleep so Rossi went over to wake the youngest up "Wake up, its landing time" All he got was a grumble before Rossi sat back in his seat and buckled up. After a few seconds Reid sat up, he had bed hair that if he wasn't so grumpy Morgan would've made a comment about, Spencer buckled up and put the phone and headphones away. Morgan and Emily had already put their game away, JJ off the phone, and Rossi and Hotch were clearing their table as they waited to land. Hotch looked over at Reid, he knew that it was probably the bed head and tired frown, but he found it was rather adorable, it reminded him of a child. He wouldn't dare say that to him at the moment.
Once they were told to unbuckle it was a blur of movement as the team began to collect their items.
Reid was the first off, he didn't get much out and had stored his bag close to him anyway. He got into the Bullpen and then to his desk. He got his part of the case he had to fill, and looked at the stack next to his computer. He frowned, and placed his satchel down on the floor leaning on the desk. He started right away, he wanted to get it all done and escape, maybe he would call his mother. probably not. He'd write to her though.
After a few minutes the rest of the team piled into the office, Hotch saying that they all did good work, which got a glare from Spencer, and then went to his office, to resume filling out the signatures for multiple cases, having to go over every single one of them, every case he closed.
JJ was next, going to her own office before she entered though she wished everyone a good night, she wouldn't stay long she had to go home to her children. so she just put her files on the desk to give to hotch tomorrow when she was done. Jennifer then called her husband to come and pick her up from the office. She made sure on her way out to check in one Garcia, saying night before leaving.
Morgan was next, he was cracking jokes with Emily as they approached their desks, placing their bags down before starting on their files. Rossi was last, he lingered to make sure no one forgot anything before he made the trek to his own office. Newly redecorated. He sat down and finished journaling before starting on his part in closing the case.
After roughly ten minutes, Morgan walked up to Reid "Hey pretty boy"
Spencer didn't even acknowledge him, it was petty he knew. He was tired, and wanted to get out, so if he had to ignore his teammates he would. Morgan didn't give up though. No he just began to speak "So me and the others have thought it might be best for us to give you some space, we just didn't want you to-"
Spencer stood up abruptly "Well this isn't giving me space is it Morgan, just leave me alone."
Spencer walked to the break room to get another coffee, he knew he was about to crash if he didn't get another. He pushed past Morgan to get their. Morgan finally had enough, he stormed up to hotch's room "Get your ass down there and find out what's wrong with Reid"
Hotch noticed how upset his team seemed with Reids mood, and that was enough for him to walk out of his office. He walked to the break room, which he knew Reid was at and wouldn't have heard his team member ratting him out. While he walked over to the break room he saw his team members starting to finally reach the end of their case file piles. Even Garcia had begun to come out of her cave to provide parts of the case that the team needed and leaving them on their desks if they weren't there to take it by hand.
Hotch finally reached the break room, seeing Spencer over at the coffee machine adding an unholy amount of sugar into his cup while the coffee brewed. Aaron walked over to him "Reid, once you're done with adding the coffee to your sugar, meet me in my office. Thats an order"
Spencer just nodded.
Hotch had made his way back to his office by the time that Morgan had finished his case files, but he didn't look like he was leaving. He sat down in the chair by his desk, after he had moved another chair closer to the desk and added a pillow. He didn't know why but he felt it was needed. After another 5 minutes Reid knocks on the door a quiet yet authoritative "Come in Spencer"
came from within the room before Spencer opened the door, coffee in hand. Hotchner gestured towards the seat, and Reid took it. "I'm assuming you're aware of why i've brought you in here."
The younger agent nodded, even if he did it with a frown.
Aaron realised he would have to work to get Reid to actually talk to him instead of just head gestures. "Well, your behaviour since we started going home has been unacceptable, and I need to know the root of it."
Spencer mumbled a few words. "What was that, Kid?"
Reid glared as he elongated his words to get his point across, though he stayed looking down "Why would I talk to you about it"
Hotch sat up straighter as he spoke, trying not to let his anger get the best of him "Because I'm your boss.. I'm your friend" He crossed his arms "So spit it out."
Reid looked up from his cup of coffee, "I don't want to talk about it."
Hotch frowned "You need to Reid, you can't bottle it up and then explode on the rest of the team, we aren't your punching bags"
The brunette chuckled "Like you actually care."
Hotchner sighed "We do care," His voice didn't raise but it deepened "we care a hell of a lot, why do you think we tried to give you space, we only wanted to tell you so that when you were feeling more up to it, you didn't think we were ignoring you or hate you."
Reid remembered morgan trying to continue his sentence, and remembered his outburst towards the older agent when he went to. He sipped his coffee, it served as a way to not speak.
Aaron didn't care
"Look Reid, if something about the case, or the place we were at," he took a breath "or even something we did bothered you, you need to tell us, or at least tell me, we care about you and it hurts us knowing you're hurting, we just want you to be okay"
Reid let those words sink in, and as he let every word of it process he felt his eyes tearing up. He looked down as if to hide them, he could not start crying in front of his boss, he could not have a breakdown over a case. Not another one. It wasn't very successful though as he watched as small wet spots fell onto his trouser from where they spilled out from his eyes. Aaron noticed and slightly panicked internally, was he too harsh?
Hoth got out of his chair with a box of tissues, crouching by spencers chair while holding them out
"What are you holding within that head of yours spence.."
That was all it took for Reid to begin sobbing, Hotch taking his coffee and placing it on the desk, before standing and pulling Reid into his arms, wrapping his arms around the shoulders of the younger man, Reid's face on his boss's stomach. Hotch was startled at the sudden emotional outburst, he didn't question it though, the team had seen how much this case drained Reid, they were surprised it took this long for him to show signs of it. Aaron wouldn't be surprised if this was simply from how exhausted the man was. The way he was holding him reminded him of holding a child victim. He felt protective over his team, he knew this, but this felt different. This made him remember how badly he wanted to have a child. He felt paternal.
This realisation shocked Hotch, there wasn't that much of an age difference so he was confused, though he did remember that he too notice of all the things that Reid did that reminded him of a child. That thought triggered a memory of all those victims who began to regress out of stress. He wasn't sure if Reid was aware of this coping mechanism or if he was using it. All Aaron knew was that maybe he could suggest it.
He thought it might be a good idea, they all knew that Spencer was autistic, so he knew there's a chance that he may have seen signs as childish, even though he was certain it wasnt that. He knew the difference between the man's autistic traits and someone behaving like a child.
Aaron was brought out of his thought process by Reid's sobs turning into sniffles "I'm so sorry, i got your top messy.." Hotch chuckled "It's alright Reid, are you feeling any better?" The younger nodded "..The case just was too close to home." He took a deep breath as his voice was shaky "Along with the lack of sleep.." Hotch frowned "I noticed how little you were sleeping, I want you to know you will need to be catching those hours up, I don't need you to be running on coffee and nothing else" Reid pouted slightly "But we will have cases.." Hotch shook his head "No buts, every free time you have until you catch up on a weeks worth of sleep will be spent sleeping."
Reid whined slightly before he finally looked up at his boss. Hotch had stepped back and leaned on his desk now. He was nervous, Reid could tell. Though he wasn't aware why. Hotch fiddled with his tie as he began to speak again.
"Reid.. I have been thinking with the way you can act sometimes, is there anything you wish to tell me?" This was so Aaron could figure out if he is a regressor as those who use the coping mechanism call themselves. If Reid said no, then he would bring it up. It was that simple.He knew that this could really help his younger agent. "No.. I've said everything."
Hotch took a deep breath as he began "Reid, this may be me overstepping boundaries, but i would like to suggest a coping mechanism. Have you heard of Regression?" Spencer nodded, of course he did, a lot of their victims ended up using it for coping, though he wasn't sure why his boss was talking about it. He was thinking for a moment before it clicked in his mind. "You.. You want me to do that?" Reid had nothing against regressors, he had just never thought of himself as one. Hotch nodded "Of course, you don't have to, but based on behaviour I think it would really help you, we all know your childhood wasn't good, it would mean that you could have a better one, not have to worry about things such as what to eat, and just taking care of yourself" Reid was listening, and while he didn't really want to admit it, it sounded like heaven. "But im adult, I have to look after myself." Aaron shook his head "You've got a team, you have me, you can rely on us. If you use this method, If you would allow me, i'd love to take on the role of caregiver." Spencer took a moment before looking down "But.. It's not like we have that much time off of cases" Hotch chuckled "Weekends and gaps between cases, you could spend the time in here if we are in the office, i will room us together at hotels, and on saturdays we can go to my house or yours." Spencer got nervous. They had a plan.. He was being told it was okay. After a few moments, and by a few it had been ten minutes. "Okay.. But only if you and Rossi take on the caregiver role, i wouldn't want to stress you out and make you take this on alone, and he also has a private office."
Hotch nodded,he could make that work seeing as Rossi was the person who made him realise a few of their victims were regressed as the man was apart of the community for a while and noticed it. It wouldn't be that hard to convince the other to join their small family. Hotch smiles slightly, not aby a lot though. "Now get out there an apologise to people, seeing as we have the evening off tonight and it's a saturday tomorrow, we can go home and start, i will speak to Rossi when you're done apologising." Reid nodded, before he stood up, giving hotch another hug, and getting his coffee. He left and went to the other private office knocking on the door, David called out a "Come in." Spencer walked into the office "I'm sorry for my behaviour and how I spoke to you earlier, it wasn't acceptable" David chuckled "That's alright kid, no one holds you accountable. Just finish your stack and help us get off work easier" Reid chuckled, he knew that the only people that would be affected work wise if he didn't finish was Hotch so didn't think that was too much of an issue. Spencer left the others office and made his way to the Bullpen, he was going to go to JJ's office but he had seen her in the Bullpen. He walked down the stairs and went to the small gathering of his friends. "I want to apologise to how I acted earlier and how i spoke to you guys. It wasn't very kind of me and it won't happen again" The team looked at each other before Morgan brought them into a hug "We forgive you pretty boy, but you owe us dinner for that. Next week!" JJ laughed as she nodded. Prentiss made another comment "Oh and you have to get better eating habits." Reid laughed before he escaped and went back to sitting down at his desk, he began to focus on his case files.
Hotch had come out of his office and gone into Rossi's to get the others agreement, Morgan went to Garcia's he was done and wanted to know if she wanted to go out that night. Emily was talking to JJ about Henry. Spencer finished his files quickly and entered waiting mode, it was as if he couldn't do anything else until the end of the day, when Hotch was ready to leave.