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Now Danny was a lot of things. A Hero, a freak, a brother, an abomination, a student, a misfit, a friend, an outcast, the (unwilling) heir to the Infinity Realm, halfa, you name it.
But a Pizza delivery boy a new one.
He went to this dimension purely by chance, he was exploring the zone since his town has become free of ghosts since his orders (it would seem being ‘royalty’ of the dead has its perks) and stumbled upon this world. He was gonna go back after a few hours of looking, but once he noticed that this world has its own heroes, he paused.
Not for the thought of if their heroes then the villain counterparts will sure to follow.
Not for the thought of saving innocent lives or fighting the good battle.
Not even for the thought of meeting said heroes and getting advice from them.
But the thought of
Vacation?
Thus the new era of Danny making a second life in the wondrous city of Gotham.
Sure, he’s not donning his vigilante because who knows if he will offend any of the heroes by treading on their territory, but more importantly, he can finally relax without having to worry about saving anyone!
So with both his friend's and sister's approval, they actually urged him to spend some time here so long as he kept his InterDimensional phone (or his ID Cell as Tuck lovingly calls it) with him. Jazz says that this is both his reward and break from both his former hero life and graduating from school early.
(And boy did he enjoy the look on Dash's and the rest of the jock's faces when Mr. Lancer proudly announced his finished studies.)
Now here he is, got a job with a probably shady pizza place under a guy named Antonio, but he seemed friendly enough and he even met some nice people in the alleyways whenever they close up. Sure some tried to mug him, but after he knocked the first few out, the rest laughed and brought him into the pack. Apparently, surviving the first few muggings on Crime Alley ( “Park Row is what dem rich folks call it,” Sally rolled her eyes as a few others sharing some of the leftover pizza nodded) get him some respect from the people there.
Either way, he’s more than enjoying his vacation, it’s already been a week and he hasn’t had to save anyone once! He even got into a nifty graffiti art hobby that Robbie showed him and he just loves to paint the walls with the cosmos and in his free time visit other countries, sometimes taking Cujo out for a walk. It was amazing.
Nothing could ruin this.
“What the fuck?” Now Roy usually wasn’t that kind of asshat to order a delivery service way out of range, but one, he forgot that he was currently in Star City hanging out with Jason, and two, he was craving some Antonio Pizza that Jason was shared with back in Gotham. He wasn’t a dick, that’s his obnoxious friend, he was gonna give the poor delivery person a shit ton of tips in apologies and he was fully expecting the food to be here in two hours, three if traffic and all that shit, not in ten minutes.
So now, he’s looking down at this teenager, yes this black haired blue eyed teenager (he almost flinched) currently in front of him with a fresh and hot pizza in front of him.
“Pizza here,” Danny gestured once more, he had been standing here for almost five minutes and he was getting a little weirded out by the man who kept staring at him.
“Right,” he scrambled for his wallet and just handed the teen(?) a bunch of fifty dollar bills. “Keep the change.”
“Awesome!” the delivery teen grinned at the money then up to Roy once more. “This was worth getting creepily stared at.”
“Yeah sorry about that, I was just more than shocked to see you arrive on time,” he half apologized/half prodded, he was curious how he came so quickly.
“We have a delivered hot guaranty,” Danny said as he looked him dead in the eye, his whole demeanor almost momentarily shifting to a serious tone, before reverting back to a happy tone.
“Have a good day! And thanks for the tip!” He then gave a final wave then walked off.
Roy just stared at the pizza in hand as he walked back to the couch that Jason was on.
“Who was at the door?” The former dead man boredly asked as the commercials played.
“Pizza here.”
“Nice one, but who?” He rolled his eyes before straightening up when a pizza box dropped into his lap.
“Pizza.”
“We’re over two hours from Gotham,” Jason deadpans as sure enough, this was Antonio’s Pizza.
“You think I don’t know that,” he jumps over the couch and lands next to him.
“How?”
“Asking the wrong person, at least it’s hot,” the sharpshooter took a slice.
“Got me there,” Red Hood agreed as he took his own slice. He would later on offhandedly mention this to his annoying older brother, but little would he know that it would kick start the insanity that he almost wished he purposefully masterminded.
“Wow, you got here fast!” Dick blinked as he stared down at this black haired blue eyed teen with both exhaustion and pride oozing off him. He was already mentally swearing to never let Bruce find out about him.
“It’s not that far,” Danny shrugged as he handed over the pizza.
“I didn’t even expect you guys to be open this late,” Nightwing said instead of the obvious ‘that is over an hour's drive from Gotham to Blüdhaven.’ To be fair, he did order at 2 a.m. and he wasn’t expecting the place to even be open let alone pick up the phone.
“We close at three, so you're on the verge of being that jackass who ordered last minute, unless you want to order something else or complain then you have completely tipped the scale,” he sarcastically drawled.
“Would this entice it towards the other end,” the man handed out a few hundred dollar bills.
“It most definitely will,” Danny smiled brightly at Dick.
Oh yeah, Bruce can never find out about him.
“Call anytime before closing and guarantee fast and fresh pizza!” The vigilante almost melted over the sixteen(?) year old enthusiastic smile, his own younger brothers have more or less become gremlins that would rather snarl than smile at him. (Except for Duke, bless his heart and soul for the remaining piece of sanity in this family.)
“Will do!” He waved goodbye to the kid and quietly followed the sound of his soft footsteps going down the steps before it just completely stopped. He cautiously takes a peek down and nope, no sign of the teen anywhere.
‘He couldn’t have left that fast,’ he silently thought to himself as he made a mental note to check the cameras near his house later on. But until then he has an injury to rest and some hot pizza to eat as he went back into his apartment and laid back down on the couch and began to text Wally.
DiscoDead: So guess whose ribs are bruised and needs someone to talk to about this weird kid I met
Can’tTouchThis: Green Lantern
DiscoDead: Ha Ha very funny😒
But seriously I met this kid that Bats can never meet
Can’tTouchThis: Ooo do tell
“How?!”
“You said that the last ten times man, can you just take your stinkin' five large pepperoni pizzas, so I can leave!” Danny hissed as he glared down at the annoying ginger in front of him. He had been uttering the same word for the past ten minutes and he was frankly getting sick and tired of it. He was so happy that tomorrow was his day off, he needed to let out some steam and some ice caps in Antarctica needed refreezing.
Barry didn’t comprehend any of that though as he stared down at this kid. His nephew, Wally, mentioned some fast pizza service and he jokingly called to test just how fast.
He didn’t expect him to be at his home before he even had the chance to finish up downtown patrol. He can easily do loops around the cities in seconds, but how did this kid to actually beat him here?!
“How?!”
“Take the pizza!” Danny yelled, thoroughly done with this interaction.
“How did you get here so fast?!” Barry opted to say instead of taking the pizza.
“I walked.”
“It’s a sixteen hour drive, there is no way you walked, let alone beat me here!” He instantly replied to the already annoyed teen.
“Well maybe you're slow,” the ghost teen hissed out.
“I am not slow!” Flash shot back. He is the fastest man alive, he outspeeds the fastest jet planes, the speed of light and sound, Superman, and can go so fast that he can travel back in time with speed alone. There is no way in hell is he slow, let alone slower than a delivery teen who walked.
“How else would I get here then, taking a magical portal that transports me here?” He honestly said, but the guy didn’t know that. He was honestly surprised that he could do this, but apparently being heir has another perk, doesn’t mean he is happy with his eventual paperwork and ruling of the dead that was thrust upon him.
“I-I-I,” Barry was having a mental breakdown at the moment.
“I don’t care, are you taking the pizza or not!” He had half the mind to just leave at this point if he hadn’t already wasted time here. He huffed as snatched the cash out of the dazed man's hands, and shoved the pizza box in his limp hands. “Thank you, now I would say have a good day, but honestly no. Have an awkward day.”
“Not terrible,” he faintly muttered as he recognized that he was leaving.
“I only say that to people I hate, you haven’t tried to kidnap or dissect me yet, just annoyed, so have an awkward day,” and with that, he huffed and stomped away.
Flash could only watch the small retreating back.
“What’s wrong with you?“ Hal asked as he sat by Barry in the lunch hall at the Watchtower. The speedy man had a far-off look since he saw him this morning and had yet to retreat from his eyes.
“A kid beat me to my house,” he simply said.
“What?!” That voice didn’t come from just the Green Lantern, but also from various other heroes that were loitering around.
Needless to say, the entirety of the superhero community became invested.
It didn’t start off big, they kept it in the country, but in numerous states.
“There have been lots of out of state orders, you okay with it kid?” Antonio, the owner of the shady restaurant, gruffly asked his newest employee.
“It’s not a big deal, I got it,” Danny waved off his boss' concern.
“If you say so kid,” he shrugged. “Oi Jake, order up!”
“Seriously? Ten boxes though, jeez why can’t Klara help out!” The chef, a lanky young adult in his late twenties, groaned out.
“Cause I already did the last batch you shithead,” the pink head woman yelled back as she leaned back against the raggedy chairs.
“Ughh! Danny, can you help a poor soul out,” the man begged his fellow worker.
“I don’t know, do you want to drive to Metropolis?” He snorted as Jake pulled an almost disgusted face.
“Ew nevermind, I would rather throat a cactus than step foot in that bright ass goody shit city,” he shuddered. Metro city was Gotham's mortal enemy from sports to the city in general, it’s just common sense to hate the other.
“Snrk, course you hate the city more than the longass drive itself,” the female employee laughed.
“Do you want to go there?”
“You wouldn’t see me dead in that shitass city,” she spat back. The city was their opposite in every way, shape, and form, no way in hell will she ever be caught taking a foot there.
“What’s wrong with the city?” Danny curiously asked.
“It’s a matter of Gotham pride!” The two unisonly said.
“Okayyy,” it’s best he leaves it at that.
“Wow, you really are here!” Jon smiled as he looked at the delivery boy.
“I mean you ordered,” Danny shared a grin with the kid.
“Well I didn’t expect you to actually get to the top of the DailyPlanet,” Superboy said in amazement.
“They let me in once I showed them the order,” he shrugged as the two traded off items. “I’m just glad this wasn’t a prank.”
“Oh no, has it happened before?”
“Yes, but luckily only in the city,” once he pocketed the money he gave a final smile to the kid. “Have a good day big man.”
“You too!” He waved the older teen away then once the coast was clear he began to fly down. He was so sure he wouldn’t get there in time, he even asked Damian for advice, though with much asking for some help. At least he got some pizza out of this.
“Now that I think about it, I wonder why I didn’t hear his heartbeat?” He mused out loud to himself as continued to fly.
He would later regale this story to Dami, who would later in turn yell at him for not noticing this sooner.
( “How did you not notice such an obvious tell Jonathan!”
“I’m sorry, I was caught up on him getting there so fast!”)
“Pizza delivery!”
“That faster than I was expecting!” Impulse said as he rushed to open the door.
“Well we make sure it's delivered hot guaranteed!” The ghost teen smiled at the hero, yes a hero. He couldn’t believe that the heroes of this universe actually call for food in their hero form, but who is he to judge?
“You sure do!” After waving off the teen, he quickly sped up the Titan Tower and rushed into the main room. “Pizza here!”
“Already!” Tim's head shot up from his spot on the couch. “He seriously got here?! I thought they were joking?” He has been getting spammed messages from his brothers, yes even Damian, about a crazy pizza delivery boy with insane speed to outmatch the Flash. Now he was gonna ignore it and write it off as late night ramblings and trolling, until even Barry and a few others confirmed it and shared their stories.
“Unless we’re all hallucinating then no,” Bart set the boxes down.
“Good pizza,” Kon hummed as he took a slice.
“Cheesy,” Cassie agreed with her own slice.
“I don’t even see him on the cameras!” Red Robin exclaimed as he went through the footage, catching them all off guard.
“Meta?”
“Hacker?
“Kickass ninja?”
“All of them are viable options,” Tim's eyes narrowed at the screen as Danny was there one moment and gone the next. If he wasn’t intrigued before, now he’s full on engaged and ready to pull apart this entire guy's history just to find out how he did that.
And if it came with the bonus of Bruce never finding out about this teen who has so far gotten the jump on every hero is only a plus…unless of course, the teen needs help then there could be other ways of assistance. No one that stealthy enough to surprise a hero just becomes a pizza delivery man.
“No seriously kid how,” Hal, who was currently lounging at home in his city, questioned Danny once more.
“You ordered, I delivered. Is that so hard to comprehend?” He rolled his eyes as he thrust the box and snatched the cash. “Bye!” He marched away around the corner.
“Wait kid!” He tried to follow after, but when he turned the corner he didn’t see the brat anywhere. “What the fuck?!”
“ Language ,” a voice echoed around him.
“What the?!” He searched around to locate the familiar voice, but it was to no avail.
“ Hehehehe ,” the voice laughed before teetering out.
“The fuckkkk,” Hal hissed quietly to himself as he rushed back to his home and locked the door. Just what did he get himself into?
Flash: Guys! Guys! Guess what! Pizza Boy restaurant doesn’t have a range limit!
Multiple people typing.
Then it got a little more bigger
“Either someone has jokes or they're just fucking with us,” Antonio grumbled as he looks at the order location.
“Nah don’t worry, I got it.”
“You sure kid? It’s not just a few hours away like the others.”
“Oh I know, I got it,” Danny reassured him.
“If you do then you can have the rest of the day off,” he may be a take no shit boss, but he ain’t no slave driver. ‘Specially towards a brat that hasn’t even reached drinking age.
“Sweet!
”Pizza Delivery!” Danny proudly said as he handed several pizza boxes to the Flash.
“How?!” The man asked once more.
“You ordered?” Fully knowing the problem, but just innocently pretending he has no idea why he was so flabbergasted.
“We’re in Mexico!”
“Hey, I’m not the one who ordered,” he held up one hand as the other carried the food.
“How’d you even get here?!”
“I walked.”
“Arghhh!”
“Well I’ll be damned,” Booster Gold hummed as he took the pizza. “Didn’t think you would come all the way from Gotham, thanks!”
“Wait, Gotham?!” Black Canary stood up in anger from her spot by the log cabin. She and John Constantine were assisting Booster with a mission in Canada with a feral entity that’s been plaguing the people of the town. “You ordered from Gotham? Wait, you came?” Her anger transformed into shock as it fully processed that this jacketless, short sleeved teen actually came to Canada.
“It was ordered,” he shrugged and handed the box to the other guy, who has been giving him weird looks. Though to be fair, he has been getting a weird feeling from him as well.
“Why do you feel like-you know what, not my business,” John cut himself off before looking the teen straight in the eye. “No?”
“No.” Danny smiled back and the two shook on it, neither one mentioning the eeries and the ghastly presence creeping from the other soul. Then the two exchanged food for money and with a smile, he waved to the trio.
“Have a good day! Make sure to stay away from the red and pink bushes! They tend to attract the wendigos more!”
“What was that?!” Canary shouted, but the teen was already out of sight.
“Of course, it’s the wendigos!” John slapped his forehead as he began to flip the pages of his book, he knows he has a spell for something like this.
“Not gonna explain what that was?” Booster asked the magician.
“Not a chance in the Infinity Realm.”
“The what realm?”
“The less you know, the better. Now let’s get to this before anyone decides cannibalism is their new hobby.”
“I still need an explanation!” Dinah shouted back as they followed the blonde into the woods.
“Don’t we all.”
Then some decided, 'hey that's not good enough, so they went even bigger.
“Yeah there’s no way,” Klara's jaw dropped at the location.
“Okay, now they're fucking with us,” Jake couldn’t help but agree.
“Pssh, I got it,” Danny said as he looked at the order as well.
“You sure?” Even Antonio had to ask.
“Piece of cake! I got this bossman!”
“You're the deliverer, also I decided to raise your pay.”
“Nah keep it, I make more than enough off of the tips already,” he wasn’t even joking. The tips were more than enough, besides he was mostly doing this job out of boredom.
“Out of everything I know from you, from the reanimated hotdog story, your whole floating thing, you being so cold that Mr. Freeze would be jealous and a whole bunch of others, that is the weirdest thing I’ve heard from you,” he said.
“Even me being able to glow?”
“You ain’t special,” Jake laughed. “Some of the stray cat's body glows. Klara has a theory of it being some sort of undead goo water, but I just think all those chemicals dem creepers of the night be tossin' around.”
“I’ve seen it, it’s small but it’s green and it glows!”
“Undead goo water?…nope, not my problem,” not his world, not his duty. All his duty entails is delivering pizza, sightseeing, hanging with some friends, and making some art.
“Pizza-whoa you scared me!” Danny jumped as a woman jumped down from above.
“Sorry,” she signed.
“No worries, you're not the first and sure won’t be the last,” he waved off her apologies.
Cass minutely paused before signing once more.
“You know?”
“Oh yeah, I have a few friends that can’t speak, so I just learned sign language,” he answered. He wasn’t wrong, many ghosts don’t have the capacity or the vocal cords to speak for one reason or another, so he thought it would be easier for everyone if he just learned it. “Anyways from Gotham to Hong Kong, here is your pizza madam.”
She cracked a small grin before taking the box.
“Thank you.”
“No problem!” With a quick wave, he trotted back downstairs, and even to her ears, it was very faint and silent footsteps. She waited and just heard it disappear before he could reach the ground floor, far more silenter than anything she heard of before.
Silent-Swan: New Baby Brother
DiscoDead: You met him too!
Wait Cass, I know it’s tempting but no!
SatanKickedMeOut: Tempting? Seriously Dick?!
Baby_Edgelord: Grayson you will not abscond with the stranger!
DiscoDead: I didn’t say I was gonna! I just said tempting
PurpleisthenewBlack: Damn, now I want to meet him.
We don’t even have his tragic backstory yet
CaffeineFreak: I heard from Bart that Danny, Pizza boy, has been kidnapped and almost dissected before. And from the camera outside the restaurant he jokingly mentions his parents shooting at him and that he came to Gotham for a vacation
SatanKickedMeOut: …
PurpleisthenewBlack: …
DiscoDead: …
Baby_Edgelord: …
CinnamonSun: …
Silent-Swan: New Baby Brother
CinnamonSun: There are so many things wrong with that statement I don’t know where to begin
PurpleisthenewBlack: He came to Gotham for a vacation?
CinnamonSun: Out of everything that is what your shocked at
SatanKickedMeOut: No no she’s right Duke
What kind of sane person goes to Gotham for a vacation?!
TechQueen: Sent Video
One that curb stomped some of the League of Assassins ninjas
DiscoDead: I’m sorry WHAT?!
TechQueen: Found this by accident
All I could get of the footage was the assassins rushing towards the kid and most of it is glitches out, but from what I could tell he was holding his own while still holding the pizza box
PurpleisthenewBlack: He even drew a mustache on their masks!!😂😂😂😂
SatanKickedMeOut: Is that a pink goatee?
CaffeineFreak: The one upside down has glasses
Baby_Edgelord: I’m…conflicted
CinnamonSun: Is no one else concerned about this
Silent-Swan: New Baby Brother
New Baby Brother
New Baby Brother
CinnamonSun:: Cass no
Silent-Swan: Cass yes
DiscoDead: Cass yes
CinnamonSun: Dick!
DiscoDead: What can I say, I was persuaded
SatanKickedMeOut: Was it the puns
DiscoDead: …maybe
Baby_Edgelord: Inquire more about him
CinnamonSun: Damian you too!
Baby_Edgelord: If he is to be our newest brethren then at least he has the potential
CaffeineFreak: Wow, never thought I see the day you compliment someone
Baby_Edgelord: Be quiet else I’ll make you Drake
CaffeineFreak: And there’s your namesake coming in play
Almost got worried there
“What a curious child,” Wonder Woman interestingly notes as she waved goodbye to the child as she went back into the museum to give the staff members there a well earned treat. She had gotten the name from Barry after he mentioned it during his time in Mexico, so she assumed it was a place with international spots, including one here in London.
She doesn’t know why, but he seems almost familiar to her, regardless of the fact she has never met him before. It was more like, the aura around his soul has been touched by someone familiar
“Miss. Diana is that pizza I smell?!” She heard one of the workers call.
“Thought you all might be hungry.” She smiled as they all cheered in excitement.
“Okay I’ll bite, how?” Roy, in his Arsenal outfit, asked as he stared down Danny once more.
“I seem to be getting that a lot and it’s the same as always, I walked,” he cheekily replied.
“That doesn’t-”
“Oh cool pizza here!” Beast Boy butted in and took the boxes out of his hand. The rest of the titans, Starfire, Raven, Kid Flash, and Nightwing, just stopped this summoning attempt of the entity of fear here in Brazil, so he’s just glad to get something in his system. “Thanks man! Pizza here!” He called out!
“Called it! Ten minutes on the dot!” Dick whooped.
“Oh come on man!” Wally groaned as he handed him fifty bucks.
“What was that about?” Starfire asked as she leaned back against the chair.
“Made a bet on how fast Danny would get here.”
“Which you so terribly lost,” the circus kid mocked.
“Yeah, yeah laugh it up.
“Are you two idiots so bored that you bet for this, though there has been stupider,” Raven acquiesced.
“It’s because Antonio pizza is in Gotham,” Roy answered as he walked into the safe room.
The other three gave them dumbfounded looks.
“We’re in Brazil dude,” the shapeshifter emphasized.
“Gee, I didn’t know that thanks for telling me,” he sarcastically said.
“We are on a whole nother continent, how did he even get here?” Starfire questioned.
“Well, there’s a whole bet going on that he is either a ninja, time traveler, or a meta with the powers being either speedster, teleporter, or magician,” Dick explained. “So far the pot is seven grand?”
“Ten now, after Wonder Woman added her own two-bit in about potential demi-god,” Wally added.
Nightwing snapped his fingers, “that’s a good one, why didn’t I think of that.”
“I still say he’s a mass hallucination.”
“Maybe he’s a ghost?!”
“Don’t be stupid Gar, he’s clearly alive.”
“Then what is he?”
“Not dead!”
“Earth's mightiest heroes, the ones that villains fear,” the other female sighed as she instead grabbed a slice. She felt like she should tell them of his undead aura she felt, but she didn’t want to spoil the bet. Besides, it’s not her problem that they are so oblivious to other dimensions.
And then when you think it couldn’t get worse than whole continents, it did.
“I swear these assholes are testing me,” Antonio growled.
“Another crazy one?” Klara popped her head in.
“What ya think? This ain’t even a location, just says Antarctica,” he held up the ticket.
“Ooo a challenge,” Danny rubbed his hands together.
“You’re one strange kid, but I ain’t complain. It’s a good thing I charge extra each time these lug nuts go past Gotham at this point.”
“How much?”
“Cost more than a five course meal at Le Bernardin.”
“That fancy French restaurant that only accepts suits worth more than a year's paycheck,” Jake asked as Klara whistled.
“Dat the one.”
“Damnnn, now that is expensive,” the teen blinked.
“If they want to order from a far as fuck place then they better pay for the consequences. Ain’t my fault they decide to be right bitches,” he huffed.
“Nah, I’m with you there.”
It was only after the pizza was made and Danny left did they speak up again.
“Just saw someone scuttling to the other rooftop, think it was one of them heroes again,” Jake spoke up.
“You would think they would be smarter and give up when they found out we got nothing on the system to hack and the only paper trail is the cash going to our hands,” the pink hair adult rolled her eyes.
“Don’t think ya need to be a highschool graduate to be one now do ya,” Antonio has seen the first Robin in his tidey widey.
“Got me there.”
“At least it’s not the assassins,” Jake snorted.
“Still can’t believe the kid got their attention by sneezing green goo, least he kick their asses back,” the boss huffed.
“I’m telling you, undead ninjas!”
“Shut up about your conspiracy theories!”
“You truly are fast and efficient,” Martian Manhunter complimented the young teen. He has heard tales from various others about his exploits, it’s a sight to see it actually be true.
“Thank you! And can I ask, are you an actual Martian?” Danny hesitantly asked, not wanting to possibly offend him.
“Indeed I am.”
“That is so cool!” His eyes sparkled as he began to ask him a variety of questions.
“Hey Supes it’s not the sun getting to me and the kid is actually here,” Cyborg blinked multiple times.
“No, it’s not just you,” Clark could also clearly see the teen here.
“Okay great not a hallucination, now next question how is he here in the Kalahari desert?” He deadpanned.
“Maybe we should ask him?”
“Your home sounds so cool!” Danny exclaimed. “By far, you're my favorite hero.”
“Why thank you,” J’onn chuckled at the excitable teen.
“Oh also here,” he handed him a bag. “I know on the order it said ten, but I brought a few more, free of charge. You guys are in the desert after all, keep yourself hydrated.”
“Your kindness is much appreciated,” he gently took the bag.
“Thanks kid,” Cyborg happily chugged down a bottle.
“Thank you,” the Kryptonian smiled.
“No problem! Anyways have a-”
“Wait, before you go can I ask,” Danny paused when the man of steel spoke up. “How did you get here?”
“I walked, duh. I mean how else have you guys walked around this place?”
“Wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for a stupid giant ass techno scorpion that has the power to cause a tectonic shift in the earth's crust,” Victor grumbled.
“Giant scorpion? Larger than a sand dune and has a giant sci-fi mallet on the tip of its tail?”
“You saw it!” He asked, they have been searching for that thing for hours and none of his techs could pick up on it.
“Yeah, it’s under one of the sand pits little ways that way,” he gestured over to the left of the group.
“Thank fuck!”
“Language.”
“That is most helpful.”
“No kidding, thanks kid-and he’s gone,” they turned back around and saw that Danny was no longer there. “How?”
“Let’s worry about that later,” Manhunter began to float over. “The young boy seems very capable from what I can tell.”
“You think,” Clark worriedly asked, it didn't feel right leaving a child alone in a place like this.
“He got here on his own, I’m sure there is more to him than meets the eye,” and with that, the trio made their way through the desolated desert.
“Would you mind if I just take a picture with you?”
“Not the weirdest thing I’ve been asked, sure!”
Aquaman: Sent Picture
I would like to add a grand to the pot for shapeshifter
Flash: No! No! I refuse!
Green Arrow: You gotta be joking
Green Lantern : He’s in Atlantis?!
Nightwing: How?!
Flash: no literally, I just ordered from Antarctica and he didn’t even flinch!
Not from the location or the cold!
He had short sleeves on for fuck sake!!!
Black Canary: John
Constantine: Nope
Wonder Woman: still believe he’s a Demi-god
Kid Flash: I got money on meta, speedster! How else could he have got there undetected
Red Hood: Invisibility dumbass
And who put my name back in this
Red Robin: Look if I have to suffer so do you
Just be glad I put a hard lock on names for this else who knows what chaotic entity that would unleash
Zatara: I’m more surprised Batman hasn’t tried to hunt him down yet with all of this
Nightwing: he mutes this chat unless for emergencies
Cyborg: How would he know when it’s an emergency
Red Robin: He knows
Nightwing: He knows
Red Hood: He knows
Oracle: He knows
Green Lantern: How the hell did you get here
Oracle: I’m always here
Green Arrow: okayy creepy cult thing aside you guys clearly need my help
Red Hood: With what? Trying to use a bow and arrow?
Green Arrow: No with finding a place that the pizza boy
Superman: Danny
Green Arrow: Whatever Danny, can’t possibly go
Flash: Have you not seen the pic? There is literally nowhere else he couldn’t not go
Green Arrow:: except for one
Red Robin: …no, you wouldn’t
Green Arrow: I think next week's meeting will settle the debate
Multiple people typing
Then someone decided to take that final shot and try ending it once and for all with a finishing blow
“You have got to be joking.”
“I got this, besides I wanted to visit space again!” Danny excitedly said.
“Kid, if you manage this, you can come in whenever you like,” Antonio huffed. At this point, he has more than already known his employee is a meta, but the kid has been banking him far more money than he has made in the past year. Ain’t no way he is firing him let alone snitching, he ain’t a backstabbing rat, but an old fat cat when something good landed in his lap.
“Cool!” He happily took the box from Klara's hands and was about to leave before he heard his boss.
“And kid, give ‘em a good and hearty greeting for me when you deliver it okay.”
“Sure?” He confusedly answered, but didn’t really see the harm of it before taking off.
“You know the kid yell is on par with a boom box right?” Klara raised her brow.
“Yup.”
“You want the squirt to scare them,” Jake snorted.
“Play stupid game, win stupid prizes,” he smirked.
“I hear that.”
“Damn, to be a fly on the wall for that.”
“Hello, I have a pizza for-”
“AHHHHHHHH!” Various voices scream as Danny dodged blasts and weapons.
“I HAVE A LARGE CHEESE PIZZA FOR ONE GREEN ARROW,” he repeated louder as if he wasn’t being attacked.
“Holy shit it worked!” Nightwing stood up from his seat.
“The hell Green Arrow!” Flash hissed as he whipped his head around.
“I didn’t think he could do it!” The man defended himself. “We’re in the middle of fucking space!”
“I don’t miss deliveries,” Danny deadpanned.
“That doesn’t explain shit!”
“Can someone explain what is going on,” the room quieted as Batman's voice rang out in the watchtower. Many people averted their eyes as they did not want to be the one to explain this mess, especially the one who wanted the floor to just swallow him whole. Maybe the void of space is taking applications for being a useless waste of oxygen, that would be a kinder fate than when Batman gets a hold of him.
“Hi I’m Danny and I’m the pizza delivery boy for Antonio pizza,” though the current problem in the room had no issue talking as if he didn’t feel the thousands of stares boring into him as he continued to take with a faux innocent grin. He knows why this is a problem, seeing as he is surrounded by heroes and all that, but boy is he having fun fucking with them. It feels good to be on the opposite end of this for once. “I have a delivery of a large cheese pizza for one Mr. Green Arrow.”
Oliver dunked further into his seat as the Bat gaze landed on him. He hopes they accept heaf dead former hero’s during the process.
“I’m so screwed.”
“Do you now,” Bruce said more to himself before landing his attention back on the teen. “How’d you get here?”
“No wait-”
“I walked here.”
“Dammit not this again!” Flash slammed his hands on the table.
“Flash-”
“No Bats. I heard that same line each and every time when he delivers and that is not gonna fly now! We’re in space! You can’t just walk here!”
“Course you can, it’s just called space walking,” he said with a shiteating grin.
“I swear-”
“So you flew here?” Wonder Woman spoke up.
“That’s one way to say it,” he dodged the answer before seeing a familiar face. “Hi Mr. Manhunter! Did you ever find the giant death scorpion?
“Indeed we did, thanks to your direction,” he nodded.
“Glad to have helped.”
“Sorry I’m late, I had to-oh hi Danny!” Captain Marvel was surprised to see Danny when he walked into the meeting room. He met him when he delivered pizza and somehow the teen knew his age, but instead of scolding him or trying to get him to stop, he offered to train him. Needless to say, the thirteen year old was very glad for the ghost teen's help and practically see him as a mentor.
“What up Cap! Still up for that game tomorrow?”
“You know it,” Billy eagerly smiled as he didn’t notice countless eyes staring at him.
“Awesome and remember,” he faces the other heroes in the room. “If you ever want guaranteed hot pizza, call Antonio pizza!”
“Wait-”
“Cause we never miss a delivery,” he ominously said before simply turning around and walking towards the window and just phased right through it.
“What the hell!?” Many rushed to the window and just see the teen walking in space before he turned back around, gave a mocking salute to them, then vanished.
“What the-”
“Yes! I had money on invisibility!” Red Hood shouted from inside the vents, making various heroes scream.
“No, he still could have teleported!” Cyborg shot back, he always knew they were in there. There is nothing that goes on in this tower without him knowing…well almost everything.
“Then explain how he got in here without anyone noticing!
“He could have become one with the void of space,” Robin popped in from on top of the rafters.
“Stop with your edgy mess!”
“You know Danny?” Flash swiveled over at Captain. “And you're playing a game with him?”
“Super Smash Bros to be exact, I’ve wanted to play it for so long and Danny offered to show me how to play it!” He excitedly said, he never had many opportunities to play video games and when Danny heard that he bought all the games he thought he would like and began to show him.
“You know what he is?” Green Arrow shot up.
“You know his powers?!” Superman asked.
“Kinda? I know he can turn invisible-”
“Ha! Told ya!”
“Fuck!”
“And that he can create portals-”
“Knew it!” Red Robin shouted from underneath the table.
“Jesus Christ! Wait, come on!”
“And that he could shoot blasts from his hands and some ice powers.”
“I guessed blasters, but didn’t emphasize, does that count?” J’onn leaned over to Wally.
“So long as my resistance to cold counts,” he muttered back.
“But I don’t know exactly what he is or how he got his powers. Kinda thought it would be rude to ask,” Billy chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Rudeness is off the table,” Barry exclaimed. “I have questions that I need answers to and I need them now!”
“Funny enough so do I,” almost everyone gulped as a steel voice echoed in the room, pausing any discussions. “I want to know how a stranger got into the watchtower without anyone noticing and with the acknowledgment of entry from one of our own Green Arrow.”
Said man could only wish to hide underneath the table.
“Well you see-”
“Funny story about that-”
“For once I didn’t start this shit,” Red Hood snorted in mirth.
“Actually I think you did, weren’t you the one to send that text to Nightwing?” Tim noted.
“Oh shit, yeah. But I wasn’t the one who ordered the pizza.”
“I only did it because your ass was crazing Antonio,” Roy hissed to Jay.
“What can I say, he makes a bombass pizza. It’s not my fault it blew up,” looking at various others.
“He shouldn’t have gotten there before me!” Flash slammed his hand.
“I was a bit curious,” Diana admitted.
“He even delivered it in the rainforest!” Hal threw up his hands.
“Also in the middle of a snowstorm, talk about good customer service,” Spoiler popped in from the other vent.
“Seriously how many bats are there-”
“Explanation,” the glare that could turn a man to stone pierced every hero there. “Now.”
Needless to say, they all caved in like wet paper and began to frantically explain their weird experiences with the teen (meta/shapeshifter/alien/whothefuckknows) pizza delivery boy.
And also, needless to say, Batman gave each and every one of them a very long lecture about not informing him of a possible hostile enemy sooner and the reckless stupidity of their actions of not only endangering themselves but a possible minor as well.
( “But he got into Atlantis! How was I supposed to-”
Glare intensifies.
“And I’m shutting up.)
“Was wondering before you showed up,” Antonio snorted as he stared down the Batman at the back of his restaurant. “If you're looking for the kid, he ain’t here. It’s his day off and before you even say shit, I ain’t talking.”
“Do you know-”
“And it ain’t my fault you and your little posse are all up my employee's ass ‘sides I ain’t talking, in case you were deaf.”
“You know of his identity as a meta,” he started once more.
“Kid is unionized.”
That made Batman pause.
“Bill and the rest dem folks brought Danny in to unionized and I wasn’t bout to say shit about it. I may be a shady business, but dat doesn’t mean I don’t treat my employees fair,” he huffed.
“You got that right boss!” He got echoed voices from his other two employees.
“So if ya wanna talk to the kid, do it yourself. That's his business and his business alone and I ain’t no snot nose hero trying to get in his shit,” he spat back at the Bat.
“He got in a secured and private area,” Batman questioned not even a second after.
“Well it ain’t his fault one of your own orders from there now is it? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. My boy was just doing his damn job,” Antonio glared at Batman. “Unless that’s somehow a crime now.”
He locked his glare with the Bat for a solid minute before the vigilante gave a nod, mostly from acknowledgment, but also with some respect in his gaze.
“Good, now if you ain’t ordering I suggest you get the hell out of my restaurant,” he huffed before strutting back into the store.
“Boss,” he turned back to twin gazes of awe from both his employees. “You just glared down the Batman and won.”
“Yeah and? Shit face only goes after the guilty and all that shit and I know I didn’t do shit wrong to warrant his shitlist,” he grumbled before heading further into the store. He needed to take stock since all those orders have been coming through.
“We have the coolest boss,” Klara whispered with Jake nodding frantically beside him.
Now usually Batman would continue to further investigate this, but this was halted by an onslaught of apocalyptic Darkseid clones storming from the skies in an attempt to annihilate the Justice League once and for all.
So yeah, his little investigation had to be put on the back burner for the time being.
“What is the plan!?” Impulse zoomed in time to assist Green Lantern from getting blasted from behind, but his hits barely even fazed the clone. This was an all hands on deck situation as all the heroes got pulled in to stop the potential world ending disaster.
“We need to stall the clones long enough so that Superman can face the original Darkseid alone,” Batman grunted as he eyed the man of steel attempting to get closer, but kept getting pulled back by multiple clones.
“Still working on that!” Zatanna hissed out a spell, knocking by a few others.
“Red Robin! Flash! Watch out!” They heard Nightwing frantically yell as they saw a beam from the original aim towards the two, Flash was guarding the other as he attempted to hack into Darkseid's techno suit.
“NO!” Many heroes scream at the devastating blast, and even a few others attempted to come to their aid (from Batman and Kid Flash attempting to burst through the hoard to Red Hood, Robin, and Impulse recklessly attacking anything in their way) but it was no use as the beam rained down and Barry attempted to shield Tim body with his own. The two waited for pain…but it never happened.
“I have a delivery for one Mr. Flash!” Danny singsonged out as if he wasn’t in the middle of an apocalyptic battle.
Flash and Red Robin blinked at him.
“Hello, is anyone home?” He called out once more.
The two continued to stare and, as a matter of fact, many, many people were staring like a baby deer that just avoided the pickup truck.
“Is this my concussion talking or is the baby bird alive and talking to the pizza boy who just blasted the death beam away?” Jason deadpanned as he felt his heart race, but also confusion settles at what the fuck is happening.
“For once it’s not your delusional mindset,” Damian clenched his sword.
“Foolish mortal! How dare you interrupt my reckoning!” Apparently Darkseid wasn’t too pleased with the interruption as he swooped down in front of the teen and attempted to wrench the head right off the boy's neck.
“Danny! Look o-” Flash stopped himself short as he currently watches the scrawny teen, cause he has to be a child, is currently holding onto the villain's fist, the one who can match Superman, and is winning.
“What the fuck?!” Green Lantern couldn’t help but exclaim, it was exactly how many others were feeling as well.
“What is this-”
“Now I’m gonna stop you there big dark and ugly,” Danny sighed as he stared down at the villain like he was an uneducated child. “I am doing my job and I don’t have time for people like you. So if you want to wait so I can finish-”
“Release me at once you abomination!” He screeched and sent a blast point blank from his suit, but to his shock, he couldn’t as he looked down and found that it was currently frozen over solid.
“Yeahhh, shooting your nasty death beams really doesn’t do well with the cold does it,” Danny joked.
Darkseid felt anger come to a boiling point as he raised his other hand to go for the throat only for his own body to unwillingly disobey him as he looked into the boy-no this was no boy. No child has the eyes of the soul of the dead and yet he still breathes in his youthful state, he wasn't fully in either worlds, but a crude amalgamation that made his body still. His first assumption was correct.
He was an abomination and one he has never seen before as he stared death in the eye.
“What are you,” he hissed out (ignoring his brain demanding him to runrunrundeathrunfearRUN)
“I’m just a delivery boy and you are seriously ruining my time,” and with that, he let go of the man's hand to send a punch right to the villain's chest and sent him spiraling down.
BOOOM
Flash grabbed Red Robin and Danny and managed to dash away in time before the earth beneath their feet gave way as the monster sunk deep into the crust. It was only when the dust settled and the sound of the clone's body dropping from the sky did everyone realize it was over. In less than a minute the battle for the world was over.
“So, one large pepperoni and sausage pizza for one Mr. Flash.” Yes throughout the entirety of threatening and beating back one of the toughest villains that sent even the Justice League to its knees, he still had one hand on the pizza boxes this entire time. Meaning, Danny had beaten Darkseid with one hand and that was quickly brought to everyone's realization.
“You held that the entire time,” Red Robin numbly said in both fear and awe at the raw strength of the younger(?) teen.
“Duh, bossman would wring my neck for wasting food,” he ducked from the obvious question. Did he beat back a villain that even the league was having difficulty with? Yes.
Did he want to acknowledge it in any way, shape, or form right now? Not a chance in hell.
So instead, time for some obvious topic shift.
“Mr. Flash, do you want your pizza or not?”
“I didn’t call you?” He was so confused about how this was happening, even more so about Danny beating Darkseid, but more grateful he saved their lives.
“But you have an order?”
“No I don’t-wait fuck, did I accidentally buttdailed him,” he muttered to himself as he felt his phone in his back pocket.
“How?” Kid Flash muttered as he wrapped an arm around his uncle's waist with Bart soon to follow. He wasn’t the only one as Nightwing was protectively holding Red Robin around his shoulder as Red Hood aggressively checked over for injuries. Even Damian was off on the side but keeping watch from any enemies that may be lurking from behind.
“I have the place saved and I was thinking about ordering another pizza later on…whoops,” he received deadpanned stares. “Don’t look at me like that! Apparently, my butt saved our asses, which I still can’t believe that happened,” Barry breathed out. Danny really knocked out Darkseid with one hit. What the fuckkkk.
“No kidding,” Black Canary muttered as the rest of the heroes all looked like they wanted to slouch over and rest at the battle finally being over, but there was still work to be done. Danny could see that clear as day and he sympathizes with all of them, he definitely knows the feeling of even his bones being tired enough that they wish to melt out of existence.
He could let them off the hook, just this once.
“Look,” he gently began startling some of the heroes. Which was the most gentlest they heard from the kid ever. “I’m happy to see you guys are alive and I can see that you did a bang up job keeping people safe. Good job.”
“Why does it feel like it should be the other way?” Cyborg whispered.
“Shut up and take the praise,” Beast Boy whispered back. He had more than overused his T-Rex and octopus form so both his head and arms were thoroughly aching in pain.
“How about this, I don’t care whose butt did the talking, but I can cancel the order and even waive the reimbursement fee. Consider it thanks for keeping my favorite place to get ice cream from safe, I’ll even let you keep the pizzas,” he chuckled as he shoved the boxes in a befuddled Flash arms.
Flash blinked at the fresh and hot food in his arms and almost wept for joy. “It smells so beautiful.” His stomach felt like it was gonna eat itself and the ration bars were quite cutting it at the moment.
“I bet it does, have a good-”
“Wait here,” he was stopped by a gruff voice and saw that Batman had stepped forwards and handed him a neat stack of clipped hundred dollar bills out of his pocket. “For the food.”
“And you just have this on you?” He questioned as he stared at the bills. “You know you don’t have to pay.”
“Consider it my thanks for stopping Darkseid,” he still held out the money.
“You don’t have to pay me for that, I was just in the area.”
“Take it, I insist.”
“Well who am I to turn down money,” Danny took the stack and then snorted as he noticed the clip insignia. “Did you seriously make a custom bat money clip?”
“Yes I did. Though the same could be made in argument of you coming in the middle of battle,” Bruce said both out of prodding on the teen's reckless act and concern that he could have been hurt. There is a small part of him that suspects him of being a dangerous entity, but that has been rationalized and drowned out by the stories that both the leaguers and his children have been telling him, footage from Babs, and seeing him step between a dangerous enemy for the safety of his friend (which he will never say out loud) and his son life. He more than owes it to the child (because that’s what he is) to give him more than a chance.
“Well once you face one apocalypse, have your whole town trapped in another dimension, face down countless undead entities every day, and try to survive the cold embrace of death clinging at my throat, you kinda get used to some things,” the half dead teen cheerily replied as he pocketed the money.
“What.”
“Anywho toodles! Good luck with clean up!” And just like that he vanished from view once more leaving more questions and mortal dilemmas left unanswered. It was a moment of silence before Flash spoke up.
“So boys, how do you feel like having another cousin?” He exclaimed and ignored Batman's glare boring to the side of his head, it’s not his fault he was too slow.
“I'm down for it and I call showing him the crepe shops!” Wally shouted first.
“Heck yeah, new family member acquired!” Bart pumped his fist in the air.
“Oh hell no! We called dibs first!” Nightwing shot back.
“You can’t call dibs on a person,” the ginger adult glared at his friend.
“You just did!”
“Cause Flash called it first!”
“Dibs first,” a quiet voice interrupted.
“Jesus fu-“ the flash family had a heart attack when Cass appeared out of nowhere.
“I believe Black Bat did indeed claim her stake first before the rest of you fools,” Robin piped up.
“You're just saying that because you want a new brother,” Bart grumbled.
“Silent you imbecile.”
“Therefore we got him first!”
“Nightwing I swear if you don’t shut your mouth!”
‘I wonder if I should mention that the pits quieted down when Danny was near?’ Jason thought privately to himself and kept a firm hand on Tim's shoulder as the argument continued. “You good there baby bird?”
“Better than dead.”
“Wouldn’t know the feeling,” he sarcastically snorted, earning an eye roll from the other teen, but felt him lean into his side as the argument continued even during clean up duty.
“Everyone take your seats, the meeting will begin shortly.”
“So what are we here for anyways, you kinda sprung this on us out of the blue,” Flash asked as the other heroes, both Leaguers and non, took their seats around the table.
“Yeah, we already went over Darkseid's apocalyptic reign and all that,” Nightwing agreed as he and his brothers (including Damian as he promised he would sneak in one way or another) sat around the table.
“It’s about another matter,” Batman clipping said.
“Are we missing anyone?” Superman pointed to the empty seat next to Batman as he casually looked around the room.
“The topic of discussion.”
“Who-”
“One pizza delivery for Mr. Batman!” They all jumped as they saw Danny appear floating above the table.
“Stop doing that!” Green Arrow held his chest.
“Don’t worry old man, I haven’t yet scared anyone to death,” the floating teen joked.
“Yet?!”
“Danny what are you doing h-wait Batman!” Nightwing turned to face his mentor/dad as Danny set the boxes on the table and pocketed the money the black caped hero gave him.
“You know you all don’t have to keep giving me wads of money,” the delivery boy rolled his eyes as he sat down in the empty chair next to him.
“No.”
“Wow, so articulate,” he sarcastically said as he stretched his arms and then looked at the dumbfounded people in front of him. “What up?”
“What up? What up! What up is why are you sitting there!?” Hal's eyes twitched
“I’m here for a talk.”
“Oh now you want to talk!”
“How?” Barry stared at Batman. “How did you get him to finally sit down and willingly have a talk with us?!”
“I put in the additional note sections asking if we could talk when I ordered the pizza,” he simply said.
“…”
“…”
“…”
“And that fucking worked!?” Roy shouted, breaking the silence.
“You guys never asked properly,” Danny cheekily said. “Or had Mr. Manhunter try asking me.”
“Why?”
“He’s an alien! Already the coolest hands down.”
“Thank you,” J’onn smiled at the young boy's enthusiastic smile. Not many people look up to him as a symbol of hero, let alone as someone's favorite, so it is a warm feeling in his chest to know that he has a fan.
“I’m an alien,” Superman bemusedly raised his hand.
“Yeahhh but you’re not Mars cool,” he crossed his arms.
“Pfft!” Captain Marvel sputtered out as he turned his head away.
“So you won’t try to disappear again when we try to ask you questions right?” Cyborg slowly asked
“Yeah pretty much,” he shrugged. He decided he didn’t really see the harm in not answering their questions. It’s not like he has any real ties to this realm in the first place and he didn’t have to worry about revealing his identity to a world that didn’t even know he existed.
“Well in that case we can finally settle this once and for all! Danny, what the fuck are you?!” Everyone leaned in to settle who won the twenty grand bet and also what exactly this weird ass kid was.
“I’m Half-Ghost,” he simply stated, throwing a majority for a loop.
“A ghost?”
“WHOOO! I won!” Beast boy pumped his fist in the air. “I called a ghost!”
“You put that in as a joke!” Roy shot back.
“Yeah, but I still won!”
“He’s half ghost though!” Wally pointed out before correcting his words. “Wait, ghosts are real?!”
“I’m surprised it took you all this long to actually find out about their existence,” John Constantine amusedly huffed as he sat back. It was good to be on the opposing side of this.
“No kidding,” Raven lowly muttered.
“Pretty much, just that you guys can’t see it,” Danny explained as grabbed a slice of pizza.
“You’re dead,” and that was the crux of the matter as Batman's voice pierced the room.
“Kinda,” he made a so-so gesture with his hand. “You know the Schrödinger Cat, yeah I’m basically that.”
“So you're half dead and half alive? How does that work?” Red Robin asked as he patted/held back his eldest brother, who looked like he wanted to go over there and give Danny the biggest hug.
“By a bunch of glowing green goo and a bunch of electricity shocking me to death.”
“I know that feeling,” Barry muttered as Wally nodded.
“Green glowing goo?” Batman questioned.
“Ectoplasm obviously, I know you guys have it around in this dimension since I’ve been seeing it in weird places.”
“You have,” Jason thinly said.
“Yeah, the bottom of an abandoned well, the backside of alleys, in a creepy hideout with a bunch of ninja assassins, in the Grand Canyon-” he listed out.
“Wait, go back,” Tim interrupted.
“The Grand Canyon? Yeah, that has a lot of green goopy stuff there. Though most of them are from natural portals and don't really harm people unless they are tampered with.”
“No the assassins,” he said through clenched teeth, though the potential pit waters being in other places and non-lethal is something he is looking more into later.
“Ugh don’t remind me,” Danny grimaced. “Some weird ninja assassins people tried kidnapping me and I just said no, albeit by kicking their asses. Followed them back without them noticing and decided to just prank the entire hideout. I hid multiple recorders of ‘never gonna give you up’ in so many different places and even painted some of their walls,” he still enjoyed the sight of the ninjas slowly going mad as they tore through the grimy hideout.
“Pic or I’m not believing it,” Spoiler instantly said.
“How about a video,” he floated over to her and began to play a shaky video of the ninjas all scrambling around as the Rick Astley song played in the background with neon-colored walls that kept changing colors.
“You rickrolled the League of Assassins,” Jason breathlessly said.
“Yep!”
“Undetected,” Damian said in almost wonder. He didn’t know how he felt seeing the subordinates under the grandfather liege flock about like a chicken with their heads cut off. It also made sense as to why mother was on edge when she communicated with him a week ago.
It was almost poetic in a way.
“Yep,” he proudly said once more as he slowly floated over to Billy's side, who was more than happy to let his friend hover over him.
“This is hilarious!” Stephanie snorted as she slammed the table. She was gonna beg this teen to send her this video on her hands and knees. “Why that though?”
“I mean have you seen the place? It reeks of dreary oppression, neon orange was the least I could do. Also, I kinda ate the little pool of ectoplasm they had going on there.”
“WHAT?!” Both bats and many leaguers exclaimed as Jason continued. “You ate the Lazarus pits?!” He said almost hysterically.
“Is that what you guys call it in this dimension? Weird name but to each their own,” the half dead teen shrugged. “I mean what else was he gonna do with that, I did him a favor.” He didn’t see what was the problem, the highly toxic marker pool is just sitting there as decoration. He doesn't know what made it to be so duller than the usual ectoplasm, but when he ate it, that thing was filled with bitterness and relief. It was as if a bunch of people had passed on when that thing disappeared in him and he didn’t really want to know why.
“It brought people back from the dead,” Red Hood explained.
“Come again?”
“It brought people-”
“No, no, I heard you the first time. I just need clarification,” the ghost prince could feel the aneurysm about to occur as he stared down at the pseudo ghost in front of him. Not quite a halfa, but has traces of ghostly elements, he’s those that have been more than touched by death, but held their hand. “He used the green glowing pits to bring people back from the dead. As in full on dead, no heartbeat or soul in the body,” he detailed.
“Yes for the heartbeat, but there has been no certainty about the soul aspect,” Batman slowly said as he watched the teen slam his head on the table.
“Why! Why! Why! Just why!” He slammed his head for each word.
“Uhhh you okay there?” Nightwing asked.
“I think he lost it,” Cyborg answered.
“Damnit! I was hoping for a vacation, not this mess!" He groaned and thumped his head on the table for the final time and instead rested it on there.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m guessing the one who brought people is that old dude that embodies the symbol of pride itself,” he ignored the Arrow question and instead asked one of the bat symbol heroes. They seemed to be the ones more familiar with the ninja assassin.
“Got it in one, why?” Tim answered.
“What’s his name?”
“Ra al Ghul, but once again, why do you need that?”
“Cause now I need to put him on trial that’s why,” he groaned as he transformed while he still slouched over on the table.
“What the-”
“I didn’t want to be the heir to the Infinity Realm, but nooo. Apparently dethroning the previous king makes you the fucking Prince and now this is my problem. He made it my problem when he’s toyed with the boundary of life and death itself using ectoplasm as an ignition and that is a big no no!” He complained as he leaned back up to reveal his acidic green eyes.
“The Infinity realm?”
“Are we still bypassing the fact he said another dimension?”
“That isn’t new, keep up.”
“Infinity Realm aka land of dead/afterlife/whatever. It’s basically as it states, where all the dimensions of the afterlife enter when they die and can I say thank you for booting Pariah Dark off his throne,” John ignored the titan's little squabble as he explained a bit about the realm.
“Someone had to end his tyrannical rain of oppression,” he grumbled as eyes glowed and snapped his finger, “Fright Knight to me.”
A green portal emerged, making the heroes stand up with weapons at the ready. It probably didn’t help when a dark and ominous armored figure appeared upon a horse that looked like it ate children for fun. It jumped off his horse as both ghostly figures knelt in front of Danny.
“Yes my liege!” The booming voice echoed through the hall.
“Holy shit inside voice!” Jason cussed.
“Yeah sorry about that, he just tends to get overzealous when I call him,” Danny apologized to the others before his attention focused back on the knight. “First, you weren’t doing anything before I called, were you?”
“Just patrolling the perimeter in case Undergrowth attempted to scale the walls again in an attempt to tend to the garden, but I have the others on the lookout as well. Also, I’m to inform you that Pandora will be visiting in next week time.”
“Undergrowth?”
“Ghost of the amalgamation of nature I think. He was one of the first ever ghosts when the earth was created, I think he stemmed from the Tree of Eden or something,” he nonchalantly explained. “Thanks for telling me.”
“The Tree of Eden?!” Tim wheezed out as well as a few others.
“Pandora?” Wonder Woman stepped forward. “Correct me if it is wrong, but are you referring to Pandora that created the seal that locked up the world's most treacherous evils?”
“Created? I always thought the myth was that she was given the box and she opened it?” Flash spoke up.
“The great lady would never!” Diana firmly said with a glare. “She gave her life sealing away the foul heathens and horrors inside so that the world would never have to find out the true evil that lurks in the cage.”
“Yeah that’s Aunt Pan for you, she would rather decapitate someone's head and make them beg for mercy than let the box open again,” the prince nodded.
“Again.”
“So anyways!” Danny went right back to the knight still kneeling, “Ra al Ghul is dabbling-no fucking dunked themselves in forbidden soul magic using ectoplasm and has broken a sacred law, time to go hunting.”
“Such treachery! I’ll have his head!” He roared as he unsheathed his sword as a plume of green flames emerged from it.
“I want it,” Damian whispered, sending shivers up his family's spines.
Under no circumstances will he ever get a ghost fire sword.
“No,” the sword was instantly sheathed, “we need him for trial,” Danny sternly said.
“By your word, I will bring forth the prisoner to your feet!” And with that, he floated back to his nightmare horse and galloped through another portal that popped up.
“…well that just happened,” Flash said as the portal closed.
“You know he won’t willingly go right,” Red Robin couldn’t help but say.
“HA! You make it sound like he has a choice,” he savagely grinned.
“You know what, it’s what he deserves,” he leaned back. It wasn’t enough that he blew up the creepy cult leader bases when he threatened his life and family, the man deserves a lot worse for all the evil he had done and it would seem karma has finally come to pay its due.
“No kidding,” Jason faintly muttered.
“So Danny,” Nightwing slid over by the ghostly teen. “I’m curious, how old are you?”
“Egads, how dare you ask a ghost their age,” he fake gasped before snorting at the vigilante deadpanned look. “I’m sixteen.”
“And you're both a prince and a pizza delivery man?” Bart piped up.
“I wanted to do something normal before I commit to being king of an entire realm,” Danny shrugged. It’s not his fault that he wanted some normalcy in his life.
“Pizza delivered by a Prince, now that’s a first,” Raven hummed quietly.
“Well I for one am glad you are a prince,” Zatanna started before pointing to the rest of the heroes. “Cause guess who had money on royalty!”
“No, you said king, not prince that doesn’t count!” Stephanie argued back.
“Well if Beast Boy's ghost bet is sticking then so is mine!”
“I agree with Zatanna!”
“You just agree ‘cause you want the money.”
“Is that so wrong?!” The green shapeshifter said to Roy.
“In that case, I do believe my Demi-god entry is also feasible,” Wonder Woman said.
“He’s adopted!”
“It still counts.”
“What is this about?” Danny leaned over to Billy as everyone argued about the bet.
“Oh a bunch of people was betting on what exactly you were and there’s a lot of money in the pot.”
“Damn, you should have told me so that I could have cheated for you,” the ghost teen clicked his teeth.
“Not worth it. If they found out, I would have never heard the end of it and I won’t even talk about the petty pranks they would set upon me. The last time someone tried that, Green Lantern was stuck under a giant banana and he kept being pelted with eggs even at home,” he shivered. “Not worth it.”
“I come bearing the sinner!” A voice boomed, breaking the argument as Fright Knight galloped in with a chained Ra al Ghul being dragged behind him.
“Please tell me someone is recording this,” Jason whispered.
“Way ahead of you,” Steph, Tim, Dick, and Babs, though through text, all made sure to not miss a single moment of the sight of the struggling ninja assassin leader that made their lives a living nightmare, being dragged by a horse.
“This is the best day ever.”
Damian was perfectly still as he saw his grandfather, the always poise and ruthless man, ruffled, incomposed, and, in plainest terms, looked like he'd been dragged through a barn. And only in the privacy of his mind will he ever admit that it was very amusing.
“Why does he have chains around his mouth?” Danny asked his knight as the man on the ground struggled as his words were muffled by the glowing green chains over it.
“The words he was speaking were vile and found it more conducive use of my time if I silent him for best efficacy,” he stone faced said as if he didn’t enjoy gagging the despicable sinner for going against the code that not even the ancient gods would go against.
“Relatable, but kinda need it for this next part, unfortunately.”
“As you wish,” then with a flick of his wrist the chains loosened, giving Ra a chance to speak.
“How dare you-”
But it wasn’t enough time as Danny happily interrupted him.
“Hello there! I’m Prince Phantom of the Infinity Realm and I hereby find you in suspicion of forbidden soul magic that can wreck the delicate balance of the multiverse.”
“Come again.”
“Oh shit, that's bad.”
“That’s an understatement.”
“Who do you think you-” once more his words were cut off. He didn’t even deserve the rights that even a dog could enjoy.
“I don’t care,” the prince of the dead eyes glowed an iridescent viridian that matched the cacophony of the pits. It brought many to silence but the one he wanted quiet most stared at him with a look that he has only seen when someone knows of their demise and wishes to run.
Fear
“You will speak your truth when you face the council. Whether you like it or not and by the breath of sister and brother death, pray to the gods you believe in because if the accusations hold true then not even the ancients will be able to stop me from throwing you in the eternal pits of isolation and throwing away the key. Do I make myself clear,” he leaned in closer to the mortal face.
Ra gave the tiniest of nods.
“Does anyone else want to tinkle a little?” Beast Boy whispered, earning both disgusted and small nods.
“And that is why I didn’t want to get involved,” John muttered under his breath as the room that was stifled with choking with crackles of electricity and ice, suddenly vanished.
“Okay! Glad we got that clear,” from awe terrifying back to his chipper self Danny clapped his hands together. “You can put the chains back on his mouth and send him to the cell Fright Knight and please send someone to send me the rule book for this, cause this will be my first trial.”
“Shall I send in Cothroma for aid,” Fright Knight said as he muted the assassin once more.
“If she’s not busy.”
“Permission to speak out of turn, my liege.”
“We’ve been over this, you don’t have to ask.”
“She’s your tutor sire, I believe she'll be more than happy to be of assistance, especially with justice due,” he softly said, and seeing the small green translucent blush on his little lord face knew he agreed.
“Fine.”
“Then by your word, I shall take the prisoner to his cell,” and with that, he opened the portal and dragged the prisoner through.
“You’re not gonna stop this,” Superman quietly said to Batman, who had been unusually quiet, or maybe that was just on par for the course.
“From what I hear he broke a sacred law, who am I to stand against it,” Bruce smirked as he watched the man who has been giving him family hell, getting humiliatingly dragged through like a common bandit getting hogtied and dragged to the local prison by the sheriff.
“And people say you aren’t petty,” Wonder Woman's smile played on his lips.
“He messed with my family long enough,” and that was that as he watched the portal close and hopefully that would be the last he would see of the League of Assassins cult leader. Maybe he can get Babs to send him the video.
“So weird, totally off topic question. By any chance can you do that for a killer clown,” Jason suddenly asked.
“Ew clowns. While I would like to, those are only saved for special occasions,” the older teen snapped his fingers. “What I can do is put the fear of death in him and scare him to make him wish he was never born!” He happily stated as if that wasn’t an inhumane thing to do to a person. So what if he’s been hanging out with ghosts a lot and his views got a bit skewed, it’s not like his friends or sister's mind. They all accept him for his insanity and their opinions are the only ones that matter.
“And that settles it, Wally. I will fight you for him,” he pointed to the ginger.
“Bring it on skunk face!” He challenged right back.
“Is that a challenge,” Damian brings out his sword, he would not let his newest brethren fall into the hands of the speedster family.
“Hell yeah it is!” Bart had, somehow, managed to procure a rapier out of nowhere aka he found it in the weapon storage room.
“New baby brother,” Cass spoke up, coming out of nowhere once more.
“Stop doing that!”
“So we’re just bypassing that whole scary phase?” Cyborg said to no one and everyone.
“Tis the mark of a true Demi-god…which I guess correctly,” Diana smirked.
“It would not!”
“I’m not afraid to fight you,” Cassie glared at her mentor. She was the one to bet on teleportation and if she can’t win, no one else is winning this shit.
“I suppose now would be a terrible time to say I guessed correctly on a blasting ability,” Martian Manhunter's voice piped up.
“J’onn I swear-“
“You put that under meta!” Green Arrow agreed with his fellow green costumed hero.
“Yet the others won despite the conflicting circumstances,” he pointed out to the others.
“No, they didn’t!”
“Yes, we did!” Beast Boy, Zatanna, Red Robin, Kid Flash, Red Hood, and Wonder Woman all spoke up.
“It was still wrong!” Roy glared at his comrade.
“I will start biting.”
“Bring it on little mousey-shit that hurts!”
“And I thought the Infinity Realm was chaotic, you guys are a riot,” Danny laughed as he watched a green German shepherd leap over to the archer and proceed to bite him.
“If by chaotic you mean acting like grown toddlers then yes,” Bruce sighed as if he was a father to the grown ass adult heroes rather than his own children though at this point he might as well be.
The ghost prince snorted. “No kidding, you know. You're pretty alright for a guy dressed as a furry.”
“You would get along great with Red Hood,” out of all the insults he has ever received this one was tame, though being called a furry was new.
“I suppose, he does seem pretty cool for a pseudo ghost. Which, by the way, his soul seems a little off. Do you need some help getting medical assistance for him? I know a great ghost doctor, she may look like a snake, literally, but she is the best around,” he looked over to the staring man or he thought he was staring, he can’t really tell with the mask in the way.
Batman gave one long look before nodding, “Let me ask him, but thank you for the offer.”
“No problem! Happy to help.”
“You say your sixteen, correct?” He asked after a brief moment.
“Almost seventeen in a few months.”
“How are your living conditions?” He needs to contact Alfred to clear out a new room.
“Oh hell no Bats! I called dibs!” Unfortunately, Barry had his ears out as he zoomed to the man of the night. He was not about to let him swipe this kid from under his nose.
“Hn.”
“Don’t you ‘Hn’ me!”
And soon even Batman got dragged in, leaving Danny to float back over to Captain Marvel, the only one surprisingly enough not engaged in a verbal (or physical) battle with the rest.
“Welcome to the club Danny,” he spread out his arms as if introducing a guest into the expansive mansion, if you consider the mansion to be upside down and sideways to match the craziness of the room.
“You guys are hilarious!” And to a powerful half dead ghost prince teenager, he fit exactly right in.
“I know! And they say I’m childish,” the thirteen year old turned adult hero matched his grin.
“Want to dip and see how long they notice?”
“Heck yeah!”
It was a half hour before anyone noticed and went to one of the training gyms to see Danny and Billy sliding down an ice made loop de loop slide.
Needless to say, many joined in.