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His tongue poked out slightly from his mouth, face pressed into a very serious expression. He needed to be so careful… there, perfect. The rainbow he was painting had big fluffy clouds, each colour streak a little wonky but each similar sizes. It was his best one yet! The clouds were the hardest part, he needed to make sure each end had a fluffy cloud to land on. Next he dipped his brush back towards his paint and gathered a big glob of yellow, and slapped it down right on top of the enclosed rat maze he was painting. Stars were the plan for the top, and a big one for the center sounded amazing! Like the brightest star in the sky, all for his rats! He hummed happily at the idea, tongue pressing out more as he did so.
Bruno was sitting cross-legged on the floor of his new room. There was significantly less sand this time and a proper bedroom. He had a large Queen size bed pushed into the corner of the room, and a large green hammock strung up across the wall near the window. He never had a window before, always stuck craning his neck upward to see the sunlight in his tower. Now on a daily basis he was able to sit and watch the sun creep across his wooden floor through the small glass opening. It was a small thing that he didn’t realize he missed out on. He would even find himself curling up in the sun on the floor, feeling the warmth fill him deeply.
Now the sun was gone though, having set hours ago. Blackness looked back at him when he glanced at the window, he assumed it was early in the morning now. The seer only allowed himself to regress this way at night, when he is sure his family is asleep. Especially Dolores, if she were to hear him well- he knows she loves him dearly but… he can’t shake the self-loathing and fear of rejection. This part of his was embarrassing, and it felt like maybe part of him was… broken? He was 50 years old and still couldn’t shake these… “moods”.
It was hard to explain, it was like he would hear something or say something and suddenly he wasn’t himself. The prophets mind would fuzz over slightly, and it would feel like he was in water up to his neck. Just barely above the surface of thought, the rest submerged in this odd mindset. It was like part of him knew he was a certain age, had adult problems and adult emotions. But giving in to those adult topics always seemed overwhelming and wrong in these moments. So when he could, he would let himself slip, allowing himself to play and babble the night away.
The little was currently finishing up his painting and stretching his stiff back. His tummy rumbled a little and a stab of hunger cramped his belly. He had skipped dinner due to the odd feeling, he wasn’t able to mask the sensation filling his thoughts, so he simply hid away in his room until it was safe to regress. Now that he wasn’t so hyper focused on his art projects, he could feel his hunger. He wondered if he was too little to make it to the kitchen, but the thought was quickly shadowed by the idea that he was a big boy deep down! Of course he could do it himself!
Standing he wobbles a little from sitting so long, and walks slowly toward the door, one hand dragging loosely against the stone walls. When he peers out the wooden door and down the steep stairs, he hears nothing, everyone asleep still. It’s very dark and the base of the stairs in the only thing lit up by the moonlight, but he’s brave and holds tight to the railing as he makes his way down. The courtyard is brightly lit by the moon and he can see millions of stars staring down at him from above. He missed the sky dearly in those ten years, now, especially on nights like this, he would make an effort to see the sky. Mesmerized by the ever changing beauty of it.
When he finally bum scooted his way down the stairwell connecting the top floor to the main courtyard, he was giggling softly and shushing himself. He made it to the kitchen though!
A huge bunch of bananas hung from the far wall and he quickly marched over to grab one, using both hands to grip and pull it off. He was so excited, what a good job he was doing! Now he just needed to open it and cut it into pieces, this was going to require a little focus. Tongue out again, he gripped the one end and carefully removed the peel in three separate sections. Once the fruit was bare he set his eyes on the knife block, he could do this…
He grabbed the smallest knife and held it in front of him away from his body as he walked back to his snack. After a lot of hums and light cuts the banana was cut into (almost) perfect slices! He mentally pats himself on the back for being such a big boy. It all went so well… he wonders if he would be able to make some chocolate con queso..
••••••
He was not as able to make chocolate con queso…
It was Much harder, he needed to boil milk and stir it constantly, as well as cut up chocolate so it would melt. And Chocolate was proving to be much much harder to cut through. This was his second pot of milk, the first having burnt while he focused on the block of chocolate. The small knife he picked earlier was not the best for the job, but it eventually scratched off enough from the cocoa to satisfy him. Quickly he dumped the shavings into the pot and stirred the contents. Okay, now he just needed to grate the mozzarella! He was doing so well!
The metal grater proves to be clumsy in his hands but he manages to position it on the counter and starts to shred the cheese. He was on such a roll he didn’t even think about how fast he was going, when suddenly his knuckle connects with metal.
Blood sprang to the surface of his skin and gently bubbled into a small red dot. Oh no, okay, he could be brave… He was trying his best to take deep breaths and be strong but the sight of the small wound made him want to cry. The seer hissed and jumped up and down in place, trying to hold back his tears. He began to spin slightly but in doing so made eye contact with Julieta.
She was standing in the doorway, eyes squinting to take in the full display before her, mouth hanging open.
“Bruno… what’s-?” She cut herself off when she noticed the burning milk on the stove boiling over and rushed over to take it off the burner. “Ay, Bruno what are you doing!?” The kitchen was a mess, burnt sticky milk and chocolate covered the stove top and she could see shreds of cheese littered across the counter. Once the pot was moved, she turned to yell at her brother, everyone knew she liked to keep her kitchen clean, he was no exception!
Juli stopped quickly when she saw the look in Bruno’s eyes, they were wide and thick with tears. Something about it triggered her maternal instincts and she couldn’t help but soften, gathering him into her arms.
“Hermanito, what are you doing up so late?” Her question made her brother shrink further into her side. He had been caught! And he was trying so hard to be good and be grown up… Bruno could feel himself submerging deeper in that water of little space and it was making him panic even more. She couldn’t know! But Dios he wanted comfort so so bad…
When she repeated her question into his hair, he simply held up his hurt finger, showing her the small cut. If she healed him while in this mindset, maybe it would go away! He felt a little guilty thinking that way, but if it meant being normal…
His oldest sister sighed softly and makes a ‘tsk’ sound before gently shuffling him over to a seat and sitting him down. He doesn’t look at her but follows without hesitation. Julieta gets to work making a proper mug of chocolate con queso for her brothers finger, sneaking glances at him as she goes about it. He’s swinging his legs under the chair and fiddling with the pepper shaker with his unhurt hand. He looks so… small for some reason. So fragile and innocent in the candlelight, she forgot how pure her little brother was.
Once she added the shredded mozzarella to the cups, she carried them to the table. Bruno at this point had pulled his legs up under him in a crossed position and he had tucked his ruana around him on the chair, like a blanket. His eyes were still wide and shiny as she sat down beside him.
“Mi hermano,” she began, handing him a cup. “What’s bothering you?” As he took a tiny sip, his finger healed instantly. He couldn’t help but notice the fuzzy sensation didn’t go away, if anything it grew.
He could only hum at her and duck his head, hiding behind the hair that fell in his face. He was so deep in his fuzzy space he barely felt like he could talk properly. It didn’t help that his sister was looking at him so lovingly. Maybe she wouldn’t hate him…?
“-ungry” he mumbles out finally, not looking at her.
“Did you say hungry? You missed dinner, I’m not surprised. Is that why you cut up a banana?”
“Mmhmm” he rocked back and forth a bit with this response, still not fully looking her in the eyes. He reminded her of Antonio when he was shy or sick. It made her think hard about his behaviour, he seemed so… young. There had been times before where she would notice him giggle quietly to himself at something, and then quickly look around to see if anyone noticed. He would have this same soft look on his face then too.
“Brunito, how… How old are you?” It didn’t come out judgmental, just quiet and questioning.
“Five, zero. Like you”
“I mean right now Mi Chico dulce, how old do you feel?” She had a sneaking suspicion he would give her another answer.
“Four…” Was the eventual response.
For a moment she could only blink, the number was close to what she expected but she was still shocked. She wanted to blame this on his time in the walls, but she knew him too well for that. Deep down, Julieta knew this went further than the walls damage. This was mental damage far older, far more extensive. None of them had a childhood really, but Bruno had to grow up FAST. He had been forced to see things through his visions that no child should experience.
It was a wonder she hadn’t caught this sooner. Her poor brother, how long has he felt like this alone?
She drags her chair closer to his, careful to watch his reaction. When she doesn’t receive a negative one, she slowly grabs his one hand in both of hers.
“Mi Brunito, it’s okay. I know it’s probably so hard to be strong right now but you’re doing amazing corazón.” He looks like he could break down at any minute, his lower lip trembling. “Oh, bebé.” All she can do is hug him, hoping the reassuring touch will be comforting. When he leans into the embrace she just squeezes him harder.
After a while he pulls away, and finally looks her in the eyes, his hazel ones still shiny. It looks like he’s trying hard to say something, but it won’t come out. She just rubs his back and smiles at him, trying her best to silently encourage him to talk. Eventually she gets a little smile from him, and a small “clean up time?” It melts her, she can’t help but find her brothers behaviour very sweet.
“Finish your drink first, then we can clean together.”
He hums happily and rocks again, grabbing the mug with both hands and taking a big gulp. She pats his hair softly while getting up, and grabs the forgotten banana, then composting it before cutting him up a new one as well as some more cheese slices. When he sees the treat placed before him he visibly wiggles with happiness and whispers “-nana” his lisp seems stronger right now. He doesn’t grab it though, looking at Juli with a questioning expression.
“Go on, it’s all for you Bruno” his hesitation is sweet but really speaks volumes about his mental state. He still, even now in an age regressed state, is worried about doing something wrong. To the point of not eating for fear of being yelled at. She would need to think about all this, have a talk with him when he feels, well- older.
Now though, he’s munching quietly on a bit of cheese, legs swinging under him again. One hand held his snack, while the other fiddled absentmindedly with a curl, he looked deep in thought.
“Brunito?” He snapped his head to look at her, eyes wide. “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone about this if you don’t want me to, but will you come to me in the future if you need an… adult?” She hopes the wording isn’t offensive to him, he is 50 years old deep down.
“Yeh Juli” the lisp is strong and he’s covering his face with his hair, but she’s sure she can see a small smile on his face.
“Gracias…”
“Te quiero mucho, Brunito. Very very much, and no matter what I will be here for you, even if you are un ‘poco’ loco” she couldn’t help the joke, again, she hoped he’d not be offended.
The little just sputtered out a starting laugh in response, obviously amused by her word play. “Juli!!” He squeals, and it’s music to her ears. She’s so thankful her brother has this space to be himself and be happy.
And she vows to keep it a safe, happy space for him.