Work Text:
The small clock hanging on his bedroom wall chimed twelve in the morning, a soft reminder that snapped him out of the trance he was in. Lost in thought, slumped against the swivel chair sitting in front of his desk, he subconsciously went through another glass of wine. The glass in his hand was empty, his body craving more. He wasn’t drunk yet, not enough.
With each hour that passed, his appearance grew more disheveled. His hair, typically tied up in a messy bun, slowly came undone, falling onto his shoulders. His glasses slid down his nose, unable to provide him the proper aid he needed without being pushed back up. The sleeves of his oversized sweater, usually pushed up, slid down his arms and covered his hands. He looked and felt awful.
That’s how it was, lately. Long nights with no rest, his body running off of nothing but caffeine and the sheer will to push himself to his limits. Mornings with hangovers, headaches so painful he wishes he was still unconscious, unwaking for just a little longer. Afternoons with fighting, arguing with Diluc over his health and how terribly he was treating himself. How he’s changed.
In the middle of pouring himself another glass, his phone buzzed on his lap, the screen lighting up the room with the white light of a phone call. The name read Jean, and he all but fumbled to pick up the phone and press the green button to answer.
Taking the now-full wine glass in hand, her voice filled the silence of the room.
“Kaeya, nobody’s going to buy this novel.” Jean sighed frustratedly through the phone, he could almost envision the disappointed expression on her face with his manuscript in hand.
Perhaps it was the alcohol finally settling into his system, or perhaps it was the company of Jean herself, but he finally started to feel more like himself again. Playful, energetic Kaeya. The one everyone wishes he could be all the time.
He smirked, swirling the wine glass in his hand before taking a sip, “Jeanie, Jean, Jean, trust me. Everyone loves what I write! If they didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to afford my wine, now would I?”
“...Kaeya, the sheer amount of typos, grammatical errors, plot holes… Where do I even begin? How many all-nighters have you pulled to write this?” He heard the shuffling of papers on the other side of the phone, and another tired sigh.
Seems she ignored his previous remark. No matter.
“Oh, just a few. My dearest brother cut me off from the coffee machine after catching me up at five not too long ago.” He took another sip from his glass of wine, closing his eyes for a brief moment.
“I think he was painting the cover for my next novel. Don’t take my word on that though, I can never seem to figure out what goes on in that head of his.” He tilted his head back against his chair, letting it hang over the edge.
Diluc was always like that to him. Ever since…
“You know he worries about you. He’s been like that since we were kids,” Jean spoke softly, with the sort of tone people only used when reminiscing over something long gone.
He wished she didn’t bring their past up. It was always a sour topic, something neither of them wanted to admit. Asking about it, Diluc always looked at him with a sad frown, the light gone from his eyes. Jean would just sigh, shaking her head before changing the topic. He’s learned since then that the past is better left dead and gone.
“Jean.” He frowned, opening his eyes with slight sadness.
“Kaeya.” She returned calmly. Patiently.
“You know I don’t remember anything like that. There’s no use bringing it up.” The moment of silence afterwards was deafening.
“I know.” Her voice was so quiet, just barely a whisper through the smartphone pressed against his ear.
If he wasn’t in a bad mood before, he certainly was now. Whatever enjoyment he got out of messing around with his best friend and editor was tossed out the window. He sat up and placed his wine glass down on his desk, hunching over the laptop that barely illuminated the darkened room. Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose before plastering a fake smile on his face.
Act the part, Kaeya.
“Who knows? Maybe I’ll remember something soon.” He shrugged to himself, swirling in the chair once before deciding that was a bad idea. The alcohol was not helping him at all. “Just because the doctors think I’m a lost cause doesn’t mean I think so. All it’ll take is a little… Nudge, right?”
“What? Kaeya…” Jean seemed surprised at his words, taken aback by his sudden shift in character.
“Don’t worry about it. Hey, why don’t you come with me for a drink sometime? Or maybe a cup of coffee? I can drag Diluc along with us this time,” Kaeya spoke cheerfully, waiting for Jean to give him a yes or no.
“You’re going to land yourself in the hospital again if you keep destroying your body like that,” Jean scolded, before finally giving him an answer, “But I suppose I can meet up with you at the usual location. No coffee, though. Only non-caffeinated drinks, got it?”
“Yes, Mother. I understand,” Kaeya mocked, kicking his chair back a little.
He’s going to feel positively awful in the morning, he can just feel it now.
“...Alright. I have to get going.” He could hear typing from Jean’s side of the phone before she spoke again. “I’ll send you some suggestions and edits. Get some sleep and we can review them in the afternoon.”
“That’s my Jeanie, always so reliable,” He teased, pulling up his emails to see a digital copy of his manuscript sent back to him. Bingo.
“Go get some rest. Goodnight, Kaeya.” And with those parting words, the call hung up.
The hand holding his smartphone slowly fell to his lap, his smile fading. The silence, drowned out by the slight banter between him and Jean, was now back at full force. Deafening, uncomfortable. The drinks didn’t help.
Maybe a slap of cold water to his face would help, he wondered while standing up. He fixed the sleeves of his sweater, readjusted his glasses, and sloppily tied up his hair back into the comfortable messy bun he was used to. Walking out of his room and softly closing the door behind him was the next step.
“Diluc shouldn’t be awake at this hour,” he murmured, sneaking into their apartment’s bathroom and turning the light on, his eyes narrowing at the sudden harsh light.
He really did look like garbage. His face was sickly pale, the bags under his eyes a harsh contrast to the rest of his face. He looked like he’s once again seen death and defied it for a second time. Kaeya couldn’t resist the grimace that overcame his expression.
Digging through the cabinet behind the mirror, he pulled out all sorts of skin care products, hastily working to make himself look slightly more presentable. Less sick. Less like he’s on the verge of collapsing and dying right then and there, on their bathroom floor. Even just the thought of it had him working harder, struggling to cover up the bags under his eyes.
Someone cleared their throat from behind him, and Kaeya felt his blood run ice cold. He paused, placing the product he was using down and turning around to come face-to-face with a less-than-happy Diluc, arms crossed and crimson eyes narrowed.
“Kae, it’s two in the morning.” He squinted, looking the younger man up and down, “What the hell are you doing up?”
“Oh, my, just the person I was hoping to see.” Kaeya smiled, covering up his shock with joy. “I could really use a hug right now.”
Kaeya wasted no time approaching his brother and quickly enveloping him in an embrace. His arms were wrapped as tightly around Diluc as possible, his head resting on his shoulder. Though he meant the hug as a distraction, the warmth Diluc gave his chilled body was nothing short of comfortable.
“You smell like wine, have you been drinking again?” Diluc sounded skeptical, though Kaeya simply chose to ignore it.
“Whatever are you talking about, dearest brother of mine?” Kaeya slumped against him, his body involuntarily relaxing against Diluc.
Why? Why was he losing control now?
“Kaeya..” Diluc sighed, shaking his head in disapproval before eventually pulling him along, outside of the bathroom. Away from the mirror.
Away from his desperate attempts to hide himself behind layers upon layers of products to make himself look less like a corpse and more like a human.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed. You obviously need sleep.” Kaeya hated the feeling of being pulled along back the way he stumbled from, back to his bedroom.
“You don’t have to treat me like I can’t walk myself back. I’m fine, Luc, really.” He pushed himself away, momentarily mourning the loss of Diluc’s warmth as he leaned against the wall, trying to regain his balance.
“Certainly not. You can hardly stand properly, what makes you think I’ll let you stumble back to your room alone?” Diluc crossed his arms against his chest, standing back.
“Oh, I don’t know.” Kaeya smiled lopsidedly, tilting his head like he was genuinely contemplating an answer.
“You’re not making any sense. Please, just listen to me and go lay down.” Diluc frowned tightly, looking at him with an expression Kaeya couldn’t quite decipher.
Was it sadness, anger, guilt? Frustration? He couldn’t tell. Diluc’s eyes were conflicting, and Kaeya’s ability to read into his older brother has deteriorated. Should he continue to argue with him, prove that he could handle himself? Or should he give in and allow Diluc to take care of him for once?
“Kae… Hey. Don’t space out on me, I don’t want you hurting yourself by falling onto the floor if you pass out.” Diluc waved a hand in front of his eyes, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“Carry me, ‘Luc. You win.” Kaeya fell forward, into Diluc’s arms as his body decided it has had enough with him.
“Wait, hey!” Diluc stumbled forward, struggling with Kaeya’s sudden deadweight on his arms, hoisting him up so he could place his arm across his shoulders.
“I realize I probably should’ve… Slept earlier.” Kaeya felt himself get dragged around again by Diluc, along with his struggle to get them both through Kaeya’s bedroom door.
The floorboards creaked underneath him. Diluc let out a few mutters, incomprehensible in Kaeya’s current state. He’s learnt not to try and decipher whatever Diluc tries to say when he’s like this, it was only another headache.
“Lesson learned,” Diluc grumbled, nonchalantly dropping Kaeya onto his bed.
Kaeya allowed his eyes to slip shut, the world around him slowly fading into that of his dreams as he fell into the comfort of sleep.
Diluc, on the other hand, could only watch with a frown, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. He turned away, closing Kaeya’s bedroom door behind him. They’d have another talk tomorrow, and a strict ban on wine for the next month.