Chapter Text
DECEMBER 24TH
Buck thinks he might just be the luckiest guy ever.
He's got an amazing girlfriend, his sister has finally got out of her toxic marriage, and he's a few weeks away from starting the perfect job. He's about to be an LAFD firefighter.
He starts two days after new years, so he's got some time before that to relax. His girlfriend Abby had to go back home a few weeks before Christmas and see her family, she hadn’t been back in a few years and her mother recently got sick, so it was time.
She said Buck didn't have to go with her while he finished at the Fire Academy, and that she should be back in time for them to have a nice romantic new years, but after talking to Maddie, Buck decided that it would be even more romantic to surprise her by showing up the day before Christmas Eve, completely rom-com worthy.
So before he knew it he was in some tiny town in Colorado, standing in a Christmas garden of lights, holding a small bouquet of flowers in his hands, and watching as Abby stepped away from the man she was slow dancing with to turn towards him. She was definitely surprised, but it wasn't elation in her eyes as she walked to him.
She barely had to speak for him to know what was happening, he'd seen this movie before. He was in a classic Christmas film, only he was the other guy, the one who gets dumped on Christmas Eve because his girlfriend came home and found her soulmate.
That's how he ends up walking from a bus stop in Tucson to a dimly lit diner, the bus schedule was impossible to navigate late on Christmas Eve, and he sure as shit wasn't going to stay anywhere he would have to see Abby looking so happy and in love with someone else.
And to top it off, it's raining, pouring actually. So, he's wet, and alone, with a four hour wait until the next bus to LA. And it's fucking Christmas Eve.
Correction: he used to think he was lucky, not so much anymore.
He sits down in an empty booth with a wet squelch, and there's plenty of empty booths, which makes him feel great. He feels even better when the waitress comes over with some coffee and says something along the lines of 'you look like you're having a bad day'.
He accepts the coffee and says he'll look over the menu, but he's not really hungry. All he really wants is to get home, curl up in bed, and avoid anything and everything Christmas or Abby related.
"Uh, excuse me?"
He's pulled from his wallowing to look up at the man standing at the end of his table with a curious expression, his head tilted to the side as he rubbed his thumb along his bottom lip.
"Sorry if I'm interrupting... this," he said, a slight smile as though he was trying to get Buck to do the same. "But I just thought I'd ask, are you alright?"
Buck didn't know where he'd come from, and to be honest he knew the answer to that question was a 'no, I'm not anything close to alright', but was he really going to say that to a total stranger?
He must have just sat there for a few moments bumbling, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to find something between 'I'm fine' and 'I'm falling apart' to say.
The guy nodded, sliding into the opposite side of the booth, just looking over at him. Buck's brow furrowed and he felt a drip from his hair land on his cheek, wiping it away and hoping it didn't look like he was sitting there soaking wet and crying because damn, he could understand why the guy might feel the obligation to check in on him.
"Hey, maybe you want to be alone right now, but if you don't, maybe you would want to come and sit with us instead?" he said, his warm brown eyes staring at him sympathetically.
Us. That word made Buck sigh and lean back in his seat, flinching slightly at the way the cold wet fabric felt against his skin.
"Look, I just travelled on a bus for fifteen hours to surprise my girlfriend for Christmas, and it turns out she'd been falling for her ex-boyfriend the whole time she's been gone," he said, the words tumbling out. "So I got the hell out of there on the next bus and got routed another thirteen hours to this place with a four hour wait for the one home. And I get it, I look pathetic and cold and it's Christmas, but if I have to sit with you and your girlfriend looking happy and in love it might just make me feel worse. So, thanks, but pathetic and alone suits me just fine right now."
The guy smiled, almost as though Buck's self-pitying spiel was a source of amusement to him.
"I can understand that," he said with a shrug. "But, I'm not here with a girlfriend, I'm here with my son, and he took one look at you and told me to come over here and ask you to sit with us. Said no one should be alone and sad on Christmas, but I just think he's tired of talking to me and needs someone new to talk to."
He turned to the side and pointed over to the booth three seats behind Buck's where a boy with curly hair and glasses sat colouring by the window.
Buck felt his cheeks flush and he let the tension drop out of his shoulders as he sighed. He gave the guy a weak smile and reached up to rub the back of his neck.
"Oh," he said. "Sorry."
"Don't be," he said, grinning back. "I'm Eddie."
He held his hand out over the table and Buck shook it, unsure if his hand was still frozen from the rain or if Eddie's was just overly warm.
"Buck," he said, earning an eyebrow raise followed by an accepting nod.
"So Buck," he said, letting his name drawl out in his mouth. "Can I buy you some dinner? Let you vent about this girlfriend of yours?"
"Ex-girlfriend," Buck said, the words tasted sour in his mouth for the first time. "And yeah, that sounds pretty good."
They got up and Eddie led him back over to the booth where his son, Christopher, sat. Buck slid in opposite the two of them and Chris looked over at him for a moment with the same contemplative face as his father.
"Why are you all wet?" he asked finally, and Buck smiled, letting his hands warm around the mug of coffee between them.
"I uh, had to walk from the bus station," he said.
"Are you going to see your family for Christmas?" he asked, and Eddie bit down on his lip and looked at Buck almost apologetically. "That's where we're going."
"No," he said, shaking his head. "No, I'm going home, by myself."
"Why are you by yourself?" he asked.
"Christopher," Eddie said, nudging his shoulder and shaking his head lightly.
It made Buck smile, he even let out a chuckle.
"Well um, honestly, I just broke up with my girlfriend," he said. "Or maybe she broke up with me, I don't know. My sister wants nothing to do with Christmas this year, and my parents... They're not exactly the easiest to get along with."
Eddie let out a snort and gave him an understanding smile and nod, and this time it was Christopher's turn to nudge and look up at his father disapprovingly.
"Where are you guys headed?" he asked, not sure how much he wanted to talk about his sad and lonely Christmas plans.
"El Paso," Christopher said as he went back to colouring.
"We moved away about six months ago," Eddie said. "But I promised my mother I'd be back for Christmas, they weren't exactly thrilled to see us go so I had to offer some kind of compromise."
Buck almost asked if it was just the two of them, but Chris looked young, seven or eight maybe, and if something had happened recently he didn't want to bring it up, especially when they'd been so kind as to invite him over to sit with them.
Instead, he asked where they'd moved to.
"LA," Eddie said. "Beaches are a hell of a lot nicer than in Texas, hey kid?"
He nudged Chris again who just nodded once, not looking up.
"I'm living in LA too," Buck said, followed by a sigh as he thought about the fact that he was mostly living in Abby's place and would likely have to crash on Maddie's couch until he could find somewhere else.
"Small world," Eddie said as he took a sip of coffee.
"Six degrees of separation, that's the theory, huh?" Buck said with a shrug and Chris looked up at him.
"What does that mean?" he asked, and Buck launched into a spiel filled with seemingly random facts, making Eddie's mouth drop open as he listened.
Christopher kept asking questions about things Buck said, and eventually they made it onto the topic of Polar Bears, Chris having asked if he was only six people away from knowing Santa, and then about the north pole, which naturally landed on the animals that live there.
Buck had perked up a lot more talking with Christopher, he no longer had a perpetual pout and his eyes were lit up with a child-like twinkle as he made a joke to which Chris laughed loudly. His colouring had long since been forgotten.
Eddie had barely said a word in twenty minutes between Chris and Buck and their food arriving, and he didn't mind at all.
"Dad, can I go to the bathroom?" he asked after they'd finished their meal.
"You need me to come with you?" Eddie asked and Chris just groaned, shaking his head. "Okay, alright, by yourself, I got it."
Eddie stood up and grabbed the set of crutches from beside the booth and helped Chris out and into them.
"I'm giving you five minutes and then I'm checking on you," he said as Chris started walking across the restaurant.
"Okay," he said with a big sigh.
Eddie shook his head and looked back to Buck who was watching Chris walk away. He waited for it, the inevitable question that anyone new always asked once Chris was out of earshot. 'What's wrong with him?'
Instead, Buck looked back to him with a warm smile.
"He's a really smart kid, I love kids," he said, and Eddie smiled.
"I love this one," he said, taking a look at his watch.
"Hey, uh, thank you," Buck said, cheeks glowing slightly. "For asking me to sit with you. It made me feel better for a little while."
Eddie could still see the hurt in his eyes, but he was glad to have been able to help, even for just a little while. Buck seemed like a genuine person, and he thought that maybe under any other circumstances he would be happy and fun and all smiles, the way he had been just moments before with Christopher.
He felt a stirring in his belly as he looked over at him, he was beautiful. His blue eyes were so bright, surrounded by thick blonde lashes. His hair had started to dry out now too, curling up on the top and sides of his head and Eddie found himself wondering if it would feel as soft between his fingers as it looked.
He pushed that thought to the back of his mind as he heard the clicks of Christopher's crutches coming back towards them, a big grin on his face as he did.
"Dad, can we get ice cream?" he asked, and Eddie chuckled because he knew that smile was for something.
"Oh no," Eddie said, reaching out and pulling Chris into him with a big kiss on his cheek that he tried to wriggle out of. "We need to get going if we're going to make it tonight."
"What about Buck?" he asked, and Eddie looked back to him with a soft smile.
"Oh, I have a bus to catch," he said, forcing his own smile as he thought about that long ride home to Abby's empty house, he wasn’t quite ready to face Maddie yet. "You should go, make sure you don't miss Christmas with your family."
Eddie was giving him a strange look, followed by a sigh.
"You should come with us," he said, and Buck couldn't hide the shock on his face.
"What?" he said, and Eddie shrugged.
"My parents have heaps of space, and if I bring you it'll be less heat on me, or you know, you can run interference," he said with a chuckle, like he couldn't believe he was suggesting it. He reached up and put his hands over Christopher's ears. "Plus, this kid will make me feel guilty if he has to watch you in the rear-view mirror knowing you'll be alone at Christmas."
He pulled his hands back and gave Christopher a grin, leaning in to kiss his cheek as Chris giggled.
"Will you come with us?" he asked, leaning himself against his father.
Buck knew that it was an odd request to consider, jumping in a car with a stranger to go to Christmas with his family, and maybe if he hadn't seen Abby in someone else's arms just the day before he would have said no. But the thought of being alone in her place or moping around Maddie's new place was just downright depressing.
So instead, he said "okay, what the hell."
And that's how he ended up in the passenger seat of Eddie's truck, his bags stowed in the tray as they started the long drive in the fading sunlight. He played car games with Christopher for about an hour, before he was drifting off to sleep in the back seat, and Buck just had Eddie to make conversation with.
"Are you sure this is all good?" he asked, lowering his voice a little so as to not wake the sleeping eight-year-old in the back. "I would be totally fine going back to LA and... dealing with my loneliness like a regular person."
Eddie hummed out a little chuckle, lips turning up in a smile as he shot a look to Buck before turning back to the road.
"You think I want that on my conscience?" he said. "Sending you back to LA to get yourself blind drunk and crying yourself to sleep on Christmas?”
Buck raised his eyebrows with a grin and Eddie shrugged.
“You said like a regular person,” he said. “Seems like a reasonable response to me.”
“Oh, you mean like inviting a stranger on your Christmas vacation?” he said, making Eddie chuckle.
“Fair,” he said.
“I’d just hate to crash the family party, you know,” Buck shrugged, like he was one question away from asking to be dropped off at the next bus stop.
"Can I be honest?" Eddie asked, shooting Buck a look.
"You know all about my depressing relationship status, so not a whole lot to lose now," he shrugged, making Eddie smile.
"I wasn't planning on coming back for Christmas," he shrugged. "And then last week my wife served me divorce papers."
He didn't turn back to Buck this time, but Buck didn't take his eyes off him.
"I don't know, it shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did," he said. "I haven't seen her in more than two years, barely even heard from her. It's not like we had anything close to a marriage at the end."
"It still stings though," Buck said, almost without meaning to. "Sorry, I... I mean it's nothing like losing a marriage, but me and Abby really grew apart the last few weeks while she'd been gone. Maybe I kind of knew it was over when I went to see her, it just... I mean you can't really feel it until-"
"Until you know," Eddie said, giving Buck a sympathetic smile. "I get it."
Buck looked back at Christopher, still sound asleep in the backseat. "Does he know?"
Eddie made a humming sound, shaking his head and dropping his shoulders with a sigh.
"We haven't talked about her in a while," he said. "I don't think it'll make things better if I bring it up again now. I was thinking I'd just wait until he asks again, or until I met someone I... not that there's been anyone else. I guess I just needed something to distract me from that, even if it's dealing with my parents and their judgement. And Christopher loves his familia."
"Sounds like you're a good dad," Buck said, and watched the way Eddie's lip turned up in the corner.
"Well, I've got some years to make up for," Eddie said softly.
For a few moments they sat in silence, but strangely it wasn't uncomfortable. It was just quiet, peaceful, like they didn't have to force any words through that quiet.
After a while of gazing out the passenger window Buck turned to Eddie with a grin.
"So, is there some kind of story we're telling your family so that they don't think you're in the habit of picking up strays at bus stops?" he said, making Eddie chuckle.
"I'm not going to lie here, I'm kind of looking forward to antagonising them just a little," he said.
"Oh, so this was all so you could get back at your parents?" Buck teased. "I feel so used."
"Hey you agreed willingly," Eddie grinned. "You're going to be begging me to drive you back to LA once they're done with you."
"There is only one situation in which I'll willingly beg for anything," Buck said, making Eddie scoff. "If I'm going to suffer, I'll do it in silence, might even make me feel better after these last few days."
"How about this," Eddie said, putting a hand up to stop Buck from spilling any more inappropriate details about himself. "No wallowing. You distract my parents from what a terrible father I am, and I can guarantee that he will distract you from whatever's going on in your head."
Eddie gestured back with his thumb to a sleeping Christopher and gave Buck a smile that made his belly feel warm.
Buck thought about questioning the 'terrible father' part but figured they didn't know each other well enough yet for him to push that envelope. Instead, he just returned Eddie's smile, looking at the way he was framed in the sunset as it streamed through his window.
"Sounds like a deal."
_____
Buck managed to get a nap in on the way to El Paso, he had been up so many random hours trying to make sure he got off at the right bus stops.
At one point it was like Eddie had two snoring kids in the car, both Buck and Christopher with their heads resting against their respective windows.
It could be a mistake, and the thought had crossed Eddie’s mind a few times on the drive – what am I doing?
But his heart wasn’t made of stone, despite the way he sometimes felt. How could he say no to Christopher when he asked to invite Buck to sit with them? When his sad eyes were looking up at him like being alone at Christmas was the worst thing in the world.
And Buck… well, he was charming, and sweet, and he made Christopher’s tired eyes just light up.
His parents on the other hand…
Eddie parked up the truck in front of his parents’ house, there were a few other cars parked around and he knew that at least his sisters would be there, and one of his cousins was staying with them for the holidays with her kids.
“Alright kids,” Eddie said loudly, making Buck jolt awake while Christopher stirred with a wriggle in the back. “Time to get out.”
Buck made a face, making Eddie chuckle.
“Too late to turn around now,” he said.
“Do we have a story at least,” Buck grumbled as he unbuckled his seatbelt.
“Sure we have a story,” Eddie shrugged. “You’re a friend of mine and I brought you along to Christmas.”
“Uh huh,” Buck said, smiling even though he remained unconvinced.
Eddie helped Chris out of the car and handed him his crutches, the three of them walking up to the Diaz’ door, decorated with an ornate green wreathe.
They didn’t have to knock; Eddie’s mother Helena was already opening it up with wide arms to welcome her grandson in. She looped her arms under his and placed lots of loud kisses against his cheek.
Eddie’s father Ramon walked slowly down the hall and into the doorway, smiling down at Christopher warmly before looking up to his son.
“Edmundo,” he said, and Eddie gave him a carefully crafted smile.
He watched as Ramon’s eyes drifted past him to where Buck stood, an eyebrow rising high on his brow as his gaze shifted back to Eddie.
“And who is this?” he asked, and Helena looked up as she squeezed Christopher tighter.
“This is Buck,” Eddie said, turning to give him an encouraging look. “He’s a friend, hope you’ve still got plenty of space.”
Buck tried not to look nervous as both Diaz’s looked him up and down a moment before Helena was getting to her feet.
“You might need to share with Christopher,” she said, an eyebrow high as though she was trying to decide how she felt about someone new showing up unannounced. “But we have room.”
“Great,” Eddie said, and then he was leaning in to give his mother a hug and kiss, it had been months after all. “We’ll grab the things out of the car then.”
He heard his mother say something to Christopher about ‘cousins that have been dying to see him again’ and he let them take him into the house while he gave Buck a head nod to the car.
“Why do I feel like I’m walking into a lion’s den?” Buck said, making Eddie laugh as they headed towards the truck. “Wait, that wasn’t an answer!”
_____
After the awkwardness of first introductions were done, it wasn’t as bad as Buck had expected it might be. At least not until he met Eddie’s sister, who seemed to have no qualms in asking him the difficult questions.
He sat down on the end of the couch whilst she was in the armchair beside him, sinking into it with her big pregnant belly sitting high above the armrests. She was giving him a curious look as Eddie stood in the kitchen talking to one of his cousins, and Christopher was playing video games in the main theatre room with the kids.
“I haven’t heard about you,” Adriana said, tilting her head towards him.
“Uh, I’m not all that interesting,” Buck offered, and she chuckled.
“No?” she said. “So why don’t you have anywhere better to be on Christmas?”
“Everyone else thinks so too?” he said with a nervous shrug.
It made her grin, and Eddie looked over to check on him.
“Come on,” she said. “There’s a story there, I know it.”
“I may have… just experienced a breakup,” he said.
“Wow, at Christmas?” she said, just as Eddie walked over.
“Adriana,” he said, his tongue rolling the r in a way that made Buck’s skin tingle. “Please don’t harass my guest.”
She put her hands to her chest and dropped her bottom lip in a look of mock disbelief.
“Would I do anything of the sort?” she said with a flutter of her eyelashes.
“You’re lucky you’ve got my niece in there,” he said with a playful scowl.
“Speaking of the little bebita,” she said, holding her arms out for him to help her out of the chair.
She sighed as she got to her feet.
“Do not let me get back in that chair all week, please,” she said, turning to give Buck a smile with a glint in her eye. “I look forward to getting to know you more then, Buck.”
“Yeah, you too,” he said, and she walked away to head to the bathroom.
Eddie took her seat in the chair and looked over at Buck with a smile.
“You alright?” he said. “You don’t have to answer their questions if you don’t want to.”
“Feels kind of rude to just, drink their beer and sit quietly in the corner, don’t you think?” he said, and Eddie chuckled.
“Dad!” they both turned to see Christopher walking over to them, leaning in so Eddie could grab him and pull him up onto his lap.
Eddie’s face lit up as he curled his arm around him. Buck watched the way his demeanour changed, how everything else slipped away as he looked at his son, like he held the entire world in his hands. Buck felt a sudden pang in his chest. He wondered what it felt like to love like that, to have something so unconditional.
He looked down at his hands. The more his life and relationships went on, the more he felt like loving him came with a list of conditions.
“What’s up, bud?” Eddie said.
“We’re going to go outside so we can look for Santa,” Christopher said.
“Oh, so you can find Santa, huh?” Eddie said with a smile as the other kids started running past them and towards the door, giggling to each other and one of the calling back to Chris.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, no correr en la casa!” Eddie’s cousin Teresa called from the kitchen. “Arlo! Kara!”
“Please?” the little girl called, smiling up at her mother with a big gap where one of her front teeth used to be.
“It’s dark out there, I can’t see you through the window,” she said, putting her hands on her hips.
“Please dad?” Christopher asked, giving Eddie a set of well-practiced pleading eyes.
Eddie sighed, looking down with a shake of his head, trying to hide the smile on his lips because Chris was getting too good at the art of manipulating his father with those eyes.
“Come on, it’s cold out, you guys can’t go look out the front window?” he said, making Christopher grumble and groan.
Helena folded her arms from the other side of the room as if they were being unreasonable. God knows she wouldn’t have let them get away with those kinds of sounds when they were kids.
“I could go with them and watch them,” Buck said with a shrug. “It’ll take five minutes to find Santa, I mean he’s got a big red reindeer nose lighting the way, right?”
The kids started agreeing with glee and looking from Buck to their parents.
“If that’s okay, I mean,” Buck said, giving Eddie a guilty face like he may have overstepped.
Eddie just gave him a smile before shooting his cousin a look as if to ask for her seal of approval.
She looked to each of her children with a stern gaze.
“Five. Minutes.”
Christopher wriggled from his father’s arms as they all made a mad dash for the door. Eddie chuckled as he helped Chris to his feet and watched him follow his second cousins.
“Sorry if I–” Buck started, but Eddie cut him off.
“Don’t be,” he said, nodding out to where the kids were gathering on the edge of the patio. “You better go though, you’ve only got five minutes.”
Buck grinned, heading out to help the kids.
“I like him,” Teresa said as she wiped down one of the dishes by the sink. “He’s helpful.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said, watching him as he got the kids to come in close together. “He’s not bad.”
His mother was giving him the look. It was the one she always had when she was about to say something that would make him wish he had made the effort to appear busier.
She walked over to him slowly, holding her wine between both hands as she hummed through a smile.
“So, were you ever planning to give us warning that your friend was coming to stay?” Helena said as she put the glass to her lips. “Or is that your way of getting back at us for the way things went down when you left?”
“Mamá,” he said with a sigh, putting his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “It all happened really fast, I only told you we were coming a week ago, and I know you always have room. Besides, aren’t you always saying we should do more for people in need over the holidays?”
She let out a loud laugh, shaking her head at him. “Mijo, you know I meant donating your loose change or dropping canned goods to the homeless shelters.”
He laughed with her as he shook his head right back, and her gaze softened as she pulled him in with one arm for a hug.
“Your heart is too big mijo,” she said. “You should be careful with it.”
“I could say the same about your glass,” Eddie said, pulling himself back as she nearly spilled its contents down his shirt.
“All I am saying,” she said, looking out to where Buck stood with a gaggle of kids around him and pointing up into the sky. “Is you give a lot of yourself to people. Look where that’s gotten you in the past.”
He bit down on his lip, there was always some kind of counter when she said something nice. He wanted to say ‘yeah, it gets me a divorce at thirty’, but he thought that maybe there was a better way to drop that on them. After Christmas, he’ll tell them. Maybe.
Instead, he just sighed, nodding in the hopes she would move on from it. Thankfully, she did.
_____
It seemed to get late very quickly, but that could have been the long time they spent on the road. Teresa took the kids to bed, and Christopher fell asleep in Eddie’s arms. He had to get up so slowly to avoid waking him, knowing the excitement of being back with his family could keep him up, no matter how tired he was.
He led Buck down the hall to his room, the two of them stopping in front of it.
“I can’t um,” Buck said softly, running his hand through the soft curls on the back of his head. “Thank you, for this.”
“Don’t mention it,” Eddie mumbled, holding one hand lovingly over the side of Christopher’s face to shield him from the light and sound.
Buck opened the door and looked into the humble room, double bed in the centre and a chest of drawers opposite. The window on the wall across from them had the curtains drawn and the light beside the bed cast a warm glow on everything under it.
“So, breakfast is at nine,” Eddie said, followed by a chuckle. “But the kids are usually up at dawn.”
“Figures,” Buck said.
“You can sleep in if you like though,” Eddie said, and Buck just nodded, his eyes drifting to Christopher with a gentle smile. “Or I can knock, wake you up so you don’t miss out on the good coffee before my mother gets sick of making new batches.”
He chuckled, making Buck do the same.
“I’d like that,” Buck said, ducking his head shyly and looked up from under his lashes.
“Alright, I’ll see you in the morning then,” Eddie said, turning to walk down to hall to his room with Christopher.
“Night Eddie.”