Work Text:
Feng Xiao always spent too much time preening about his hair.
It was something Cui Buqu had noticed right from the beginning, and it sure sketched an accurate initial impression of the narcissistic, germaphobic peacock he would get to know in the next few years. His hair was important, as was the drape of his robes, and the angle of his hairpin, and the list goes on and on and on…
Yet he didn’t expect the lack of his hair to bother Feng Xiao so much.
Not many things became unexpected to Cui Buqu, he was used to having everything so planned out, so calculated, down to the detail. It was a strange feeling, something between unease, disappointment and guilt. It didn’t help that he was practically the sole person responsible for making Feng Xiao shave all of it off in the first place, but back then his priority had been the mission and what was at stake at the time.
It had grown out slightly now, but it was still short, barely even touching his neck. Cui Buqu was rather sure that Feng Xiao’s hair hadn’t been that length since he was a toddler, judging by the way the other man would often reach for it by instinct or compulsion, and then scrunch up his face in annoyance and disgust when he discovered it missing, as if the lack of hair pained him.
No one else could tell, of course, Feng Xiao was smart enough that he didn’t let down his guard unless in private, and even then, most would barely be able to catch a few glimpses. But Cui Buqu was much more observant than most, with his photographic memory and a keen attention to details honed from years of survival.
It was a weird feeling, this guilt, and he couldn’t stand Feng Xiao’s behaviour any longer. So the next time he repeated this cycle: reach for hair, grab around nothing, scrunch face in annoyance, something must’ve compelled Cui Buqu to walk over and place his own, thin, dry and lighter hair into the Second Commander’s hands.
“Ququ?” He turned and asked, almost surprised.
“Shut up.” He replied preemptively. “Just- …Come brush it for me.”
And with that, he sat down in front of his work desk, pretending to be reading through the mess of papers strewn across it. The Zuoyue Bureau was overwhelmed and understaffed as always.
However, it wasn’t a very convincing act, not for any lack of acting skills on Cui Buqu’s side, but rather that he knew that Feng Xiao knew he could memorise exactly whatever was on it in a passing glance and work freely from his head. It was something he did rather often, often enough that Feng Xiao was very aware of this habit, calling him a workaholic.
He didn’t hear Feng Xiao approaching from behind, the gap between their martial arts skills being too big, but was nevertheless unsurprised as he felt hands picking up strands of his thin brown hair, and a comb being run gently yet methodically through them. He’d predicted Feng Xiao’s behaviour from the path he’d take to grab his comb, to how many fractions of seconds it would take the man to return.
“You shouldn’t let me so close to your neck, Ququ. What if I finally snap it this time?” He teased affectionately.
Cui Buqu smiled. “It’s cute that you think you can kill me.” He said with such an air of cold authority that Feng Xiao had no choice but to believe him.
He knew about Feng Xiao’s intrusive thoughts since the second time he’d felt the other’s hands on his neck. Feng Xiao has always had them, but they seemed to have increased in intensity and became mainly centred around strangling Cui Buqu ever since the incident in the inner caverns of Tiannan mountain.
Cui Buqu wasn’t quite sure why Feng Xiao wasn’t over stabbing him yet. He didn’t hold it against him, and they both knew it was essential for the mission. He’d certainly paid Feng Xiao back tenfold in schemes and plots against him since then. But he supposed human minds were just like that sometimes.
Like whatever was happening in his mind right now, that had somehow driven him into asking Feng Xiao to brush his hair. As if he were an incapable child, or a clingy lover.
…He decided to stop thinking for now.
“What are you doing?” Cui Buqu questioned after a while. It was unlike Feng Xiao to be so silent.
“...Your hair partition is uneven.” The other replied, focused on using the comb to rearrange thin brown strands from falling to the left of his head to the right and vice versa, trying to create a completely straight line on the top of his head.
“You know it’ll all be messed up again after I lay down, right?”
“I’ll just sort it out again.”
“Will the Zuoyue Bureau run itself? You think I have the time to let you play with my hair everyday?”
“Ququ won’t let me? What kind of person doesn’t dream of having such a beautiful wife to comb their hair everyday?”
…Well if Feng Xiao offered to comb his hair everyday, he probably wouldn’t be able to refuse. But obviously he couldn’t say that! So he fell silent, letting Feng Xiao smugly take the victory for this one. It was fine, he would just pay him back later.
Finally, Feng Xiao seemed satisfied with the symmetry of his hair, handing him a mirror to appreciate his work. “Didn’t I do such a good job, Ququ?” He fished for praise. “You look almost half as good as me.”
Alright, maybe praising him a little bit wouldn’t hurt. “Thank you, Feng-er.”
“Is that it? Can’t you be a little nicer to this caring, devoted wife of yours?” He pouted.
Greedy bastard. “...You did well. I liked it.”
“And?~”
“...” What else was there??
“I love you~” He pushed.
“Don’t you have work to do!?” He glared. “No wonder the Jiejian Bureau is full of blockheaded, incompetent employees and middle level managers who can’t get their heads out of their ass for the life of seeing what’s in front of them. Even Qin Miaoyu works harder for the Bureau than you do, and she’s barely been a member for a few months. Maybe I'll tell the emperor just how much paperwork you’re handing onto Ming Yue. I know you even make him forge your signature sometimes.”
Thoroughly beaten down, Feng Xiao had no option but to surrender. “Ah, Ququ, Ququ. Fine, fine, I’ll get back to work. I love that wicked tongue of yours.”
But as he turned to leave, Cui Buqu found himself tugging on the other’s robe. “Wait here.” He instructed.
What was he doing?! He mentally berated himself as he found himself in the washroom, washing his hands and brushing his teeth. Oh, he was furious, he stormed back after a few minutes, grabbing Feng Xiao by the face and rolling his feet onto his toes to kiss him on the lips.
Cui Buqu’s face was red from blushing when he pulled away, still glaring at this ridiculous man who had somehow managed to steal his heart.
“Ququ~” Feng Xiao teased, smiling painfully wide.
“Shut up.” He said. “Get out of my room.”
Feng Xiao left beaming with a lightness in his step, and Cui Buqu had definitely, definitely lost today’s battle.