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Tim was an unlucky person.
He knew that, and he had known that ever since he had started using his brain, there was no logical explanation to his immense bad luck, firstly he had been born into a
business
family, they never actually cared about how he lived his life as long as he would present a good image to the press.
The second thing that should have ticked him off earlier was his ability to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time, first he had witnessed Dick’s parents quite literally fall to their deaths, the bones that crunched and the panic on peoples faces was impossible to forget.
There were several other instances, like that one fateful night in the titans tower where he had gotten his ass handed to him. The worst time however was when Dick had been desperate to get out of going undercover, he had taken one look at the sleep deprived body of Tim and decided that he should be the next victim.
That escalated and now Tim was undercover as “Neal Caffrey” professional con artist, wine lover and art enthusiast. All those things were surprisingly easy to accentuate, thanks to several years of hard training to be the most appealing person ever he could pull off the cover.
One of Tim’s favourite things about being undercover was the breaks he got from work, working in the FBI gave you an unbelievable amount of stay at home days, it was great! It was part of the reason that Tim still could keep up with his work as the CEO of Wayne enterprises.
This particular day was meant to be one of those stay at home days, and Tim had actually stayed at home for the majority of the day, until he had to go and pick up some coffee from a local coffee shop since his own coffee machine had somehow ceased to work after Damian had dropped by his apartment.
The thing is Tim never reached the coffee shop, he had nearly just stepped foot outside the door before a piece of cloth was put over his mouth, despite his best efforts he passed out and his fate was left up to his luck.
************************
Tim wouldn’t exactly say he hated his life, but when he woke up and was tied up in Christmas lights he had to rethink everything he previously believed.
Waking up and realising that you are tied up should be more concerning to Tim than it actually was, but it was clear that his kidnappers were amateurs, not only did he have clear sight of whatever was happening in the cramped room he was in, but they hadn’t patted him down, he could still feel a cold sensation down by his ankle which was a dead giveaway that he was still wearing his anklet.
When his kidnappers showed up he would give them a piece of his mind, this was highly unprofessional, first they tie him up with fucking christmas lights like he was a christmas tree, and secondly they did a shitty job at doing a kidnapping.
By the time that his kidnappers showed up he had begun playing mind chess, it was a boring passtime but one day he would find out how to beat Bruce in every single game of chess they played, everyone knew that Bruce only played chess with them since it was one of the only games he could win, like if you made him play Scrabble he would lose instantly.
It started with voices murmuring outside the door, Tim was nearly certain that he recognised the voices but maybe his observational skills weren’t as sharp as they once had been.
Then there was shouting and the door slammed open, two very familiar figures showed up, both of them were destined to be blackmailed before this day was over. One of the figures was wearing this obscenely ugly Christmas sweater while the other was just wearing a leather jacket.
“See” Jason made a gesture towards Tim “I didn’t fuck him up, he was just sleep deprived”
“Jay,” Dick sighed dramatically “Despite him being sleep deprived, it isn’t normal to be knocked out for 14 hours”
“You literally have no clue how this shit works do you?”
“I do!” Dick yelled back, the former Robin and the former second Robin had this weird habit of becoming mad at each other over the smallest things, Stephanie swore that it was a sibling thing but Tim was still on the fence.
“Shut up,” Tim interjected, “Why did you tie me up in Christmas lights?”
Tim had a sneaking suspicion that it was Jason’s idea, he had a hobby that consisted of kidnapping the other Wayne kids just for funs sake and then tying them up in the most absurd things, once Damian had returned home and sworn vengeance on Jason because he somehow had managed to not only kidnap Damian but he had also tied him up with shoelaces.
Dick snickered slightly and turned around to hide his grin, Jason thankfully replied “It was the only thing available”
“Peter is coming to arrest you soon” Tim stated, he secretly hoped that the agent would show up in time to arrest the formerly dead Jason Todd, he would love seeing Jason trying to explain himself.
“Don’t worry Timbo” Jason said with a wicked grin on his face “His car can’t drive right now”
“And your tire collection just grew?”
“Wow, great detective work!” Jason said sarcastically, “No wonder they call you the world’s second best detective.”
“One day i will gut you alive” Tim retorted back at Jason, which earned him a big grin and some laughter.
“I would like to see you try”
Dick looked out the window of the room “Peter is coming now”
Both Tim’s older brothers grinned and Dick said with glee in his voice “Let the light show begin”
Before the pair fled the scene away from the herd of FBI agents, Dick flicked a switch which resulted in Tim lighting up like a christmas tree, Jason made sure to snap a picture likely so it could be used in the future for blackmail material.
Moments later an out of breath Peter showed up, the moment the agent saw Tim in all his colourful glory, he broke out in laughter, the same did the other agents who appeared behind him.
Being tied up in Christmas lights was truly the greatest humiliation.